#catrick bateman
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you like mewy lewis and the mews?
[ID: a white cat in a pet-sized tuxedo and clear raincoat, with a crocheted bloody axe prop on the ground right in front of his paw. end ID.]
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Hey
My names Catrick "Croutons" Bateman. I am a son and I am orange and white. I'm definitely an adult.
Got questions? ask em.
#ask crout - ask/submission tag
#person - posts directed at/by his owners
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Q: Why are you bald?
A: Before I met my people I lived a rich and fulfilling life outside getting my ass beat relentlessly by other beasts and eating bugs and rolling around in shit on the forest floor like God intended. This was an act of demonic intervention
( He was severely matted and needed to be shaved by the vet! Upon shaving we [his people] and the vet discovered he was an un*neutered male! His matting was so bad we couldn't tell. Also he smelt like compost )
Q: Will you be bald forever?
A: They'll have to do more than stuff me in a crate if they think they can get away with it a second time.
(Unless he has a difficult time grooming himself, and/or refuses to let us brush him, Croutons will be restored to his former glory by summer 24!!!)
Q: Where did your tail go?
A: It's the same as it ever was
( We believe it was either an old break or his mom chewed it off. It's healed strange at the end, and is the reason he has a little white tuft there! )
Q: Who are your people?
A: Heathens who lured me in with the promise of food only to entrap me and call me their ugly white baby.
( @roachemoji (they/them) and @sagevviitch (she/her) )
Q: Cool Blanket/Who made the blanket/Do you have a pattern for the mosaic crochet blanket?
A: (It was a gift from Crouton's Grandmaman (my mom) I do not have a pattern for it, but there are many moasic crochet patterns out there that are extremely similar to this one! Since this is a blog about my cat I won't be answering more questions about the blanket - please send your asks to @roachemoji !!! I'll be happy to answer any there!!!)
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His name is Catrick Bateman. He's 27 years old. He believes in taking care of himself with a balanced diet and rigorous exercise routine...
Double sided charm coming this fall mayhaps? 👀
#my charms#american psycho#patrick bateman#idk how to promote myself on here#i make and sell charms sometimes (etsy shop in pinned)
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im gonna grow up, im gonna get a place and two cats and im gonna name one sesame and the other one catrick bateman
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CATrick bateman
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Pawl Meowen and Catrick Bateman walking through the halls of P&P after a meeting 🤯
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an idea @whyamionlyabletouse32characters had for naming vinny was "Catrick Bateman" i think that one was a real good one
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catrick bateman. ｡°✩💋🎧🎸⭐️°｡
— made by nxcromantik on etsy !
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if patrick bateman was a catboy would his name be catrick bateman, patrick catman, or patrick batecat
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Catrick Bateman with red lace looking border and glittery text saying "Bones meat monday!!"
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Trick or treat!
do you like ice nine kills? their early work was a little bit too 'scene' for me, but when 'the silver scream' came out, i think they really came into their own, commercially and artistically. the whole album has a refined melodic sensibility that really makes it a cut above the rest.
hey paul!
[catrick bateman be upon ye]
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[Catrick Bateman voice] lets see Paul Allen’s food bowl.
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your catrick bateman plush is the littolest guy and he deserves to be gently squished <3
he is sooo cute I love it 😭😭 trust me he got a lot of squishes when he arrived
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