#c. oksana | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

storms-corner · 2 months

Text

i did manage to write a tiny fic about oksana's birthday morning, soo :'D

“Happy birthday to youuu, happy birthday to youuu…”

Eve’s voice dances down the hall, all the way from the kitchen to a no longer sleeping Oksana’s ears. The little girl stirs, confused as to why mommy is out of bed already, but delighted to hear her sing. She grunts and rolls over on her back, rubbing at her eyes and rubbing Sooshka against her cheek. Giving her pacifier a sleepy suck, she looks to the door. Warm light flickers and dances.

“Happy birthday, dear Oksana …” Eve pushes the door open, singing with a smile on her face. “Happy birthday toooo youuu!”

Oksana’s eyes widen and she clumsily pushes herself to sit. Her mouth hangs open, enough that her pacifier tumbles into her lap, and she makes an excited noise. Still too tired for real words. Eve carries a tray with a cupcake with a candle in it and a gift. The tray is wrapped with fairy lights.

“Mommy,” Oksana whispers breathlessly, struggling to take in the sight of this. No one has ever done this for her birthday. For a long time, Oksana didn’t understand birthdays were to be celebrated. Mama called hers an unfortunate day, sometimes.

“Good morning, baby,” Eve says, and her voice is warm like honey and full of love. She sits on the edge of the bed. “Happy birthday, angel. A whole year older, huh? Time goes so fast.”

Oksana nods shyly. To Oksana, time is a vague concept. But she knows a year is a long time. A year older means she’s spent almost an entire year here in this house with Eve. A year older means that mama and her childhood is even more distant than before. A year older means that Eve sings to her and wakes her up with a cupcake for breakfast.

“Don’t feel so old,” Oksana shrugs.

Eve chuckles. “You’re nowhere near old, sweetheart. I’m near old. You’re just starting out, still.”

After instructing Oksana to sit up properly, Eve places the tray on her lap.

“Time to blow out the candles, yeah?” she says with enthusiasm, rubbing Oksana’s leg on top of the blankets. “Go ahead, honey.”

First, Oksana points. “Three!” she says with unbridled joy, pointing to one of the candles in the cupcake. She completely ignores the 1 beside it.

Eve’s heart crumbles and melts. It doesn’t seem like Oksana turns thirty-one today. It seems much more like she’s turning three. Oksana had never put an age on herself before, neither had Eve, because it shifts so much. But the 3 on the cupcake seemed to resonate with her this morning.

“Yeah, three!” Eve says, grinning so hard that her cheeks hurt. “That’s a big number.”

Oksana blows out the candles. Eve claps her hands, “Yay!”

“Can I come sit with you, hm?” Eve pats the mattress.

“Uh-huh,” Oksana nods happily. She scoots to the middle of the bed and Eve sits next to her.

Like it’s an automated response to having Eve beside her, Oksana nestles her way into Eve’s embrace, resting against her mommy. Eve’s stomach swirls with affection. Oksana is still sleep-warm and soft. Eve, who had gotten up earlier than early, allows herself to close her eyes for a moment. Then she notices the lack of chewing; she’d been expecting Oksana to dig right into the cupcake.

“You’re allowed to eat it, baby,” Eve reminds her.

“Yep. But can’t decide,” Oksana says. “Present? Or cake?”

“Oh,” Eve smiles softly. “How about you eat half, then open the present, and eat the rest.”

System in place, Oksana does just that. For a second Eve regrets allowing a cupcake with chocolate frosting into their bed, but just for today she lets the thought go — it’s her little girl’s first real birthday. She can get chocolate everywhere if she wants to.

Eve wipes Oksana’s fingers and mouth with a napkin. “That’s yummy, huh?”

Oksana nods eagerly. With clean fingers, she reaches for the gift. Eve had tied the ribbon so loosely that Oksana wouldn’t struggle to undo it. She’d done the same with the tape and wrapping paper. Oksana’s fine motor skills are lacking, which Eve chalks down to both the fact that being small in a big body must be dizzying, and the fact that no one bothered to teach her at a young age.

“You’re doing such a good job; you don’t even need mommy’s help!” Eve praises as Oksana opens her present. “I can’t wait to see what’s inside. So exciting, isn’t it?”

Oksana rips the paper off and comes face to face with a small plushie — a soft, smiling sun with feet made of corduroy. Her face brightens and she practically vibrates with excitement.

“Mommy,” she says softly, like the word contains every bit of joy and gratitude she can’t properly express. “Mommy, mommy, thank you.”

Eve hugs Oksana. She kisses the side of her head, nuzzling into her girl’s hair. “You’re welcome, sweetheart. Happy birthday,” she murmurs. “I love you so much.”

Oksana tucks herself into her mommy’s warm arms. “I love you too.”

#it's .. not good but it is something!!#c. eve #c. oksana #eve and oksana #storm's writing tag

21 notes · View notes

icarussrancidart · 11 months

Text

Possession

#forgive my lazy caption i'm done thinking about this fucking drawing okay #oksana kodeira #oksana kodira #oxana kodeira #oxana kodira #love a woman who has four (4) distinct spellings of her name <3 #taz ethersea #taz #the adventure zone #idk what tag ppl use for (c/k)oda #taz coda #taz koda #thats my guess?? idk i dont think theres established tags lol #digital art #favorites

59 notes · View notes

fantasy-scifi-art · 2 years

Photo

Danindra C. Wheatland by Oksana Kerro

#Oksana Kerro #kueshka #Danindra C. Wheatland #Warrior #Fighter #Scout #Index #Messenger

64 notes · View notes

egyptroyal · 2 months

Text

@isitrecording

"So, let me get this right, huh?"

"You're a bottom?"

#{OKSANA!!!! you cant just ask that}#c: la villanelle #v: tbd #isitrecording #er: starter #er: opens

3 notes · View notes

flarehornet · 2 years

Photo

#*c: oksana #oc: oksana #maelstrom #all foods plant #cyberpunk #cyberpunk 2077 #cyberpunk photomode #female v #fem!v #fem v #cp2077

35 notes · View notes

protectthevulnerable · 1 year

Note

a zoo, filled with an array of unique animals . Kate - Oksana

Oksana was absolutely bubbling with excitement. She was going to see so many animals! But sometimes animals made her anxious. What if she accidentally hurt them? The ones she could pet anyway. Her body was much bigger than she often thought it was which meant she was stronger than she thought too. And Mama used to hurt animals. Maybe she was just like her Mama and they'd be scared of her. She didn't want them to be scared of her, she was nice!

The blonde whined anxiously, grin falling away as she shoved her fingers into her mouth to chew on them, trying to soothe herself. She glanced up at Kate, whining again as she tugged on the hand that was sat in her free one.

#storyofwhoiam.#asks.#muse: oksana a.#character: kate c.#verse: tbd

1 note · View note

thelittleukrainianwell-armedgirl · 11 months

Text

168 notes · View notes

taurus-asuarus · 6 months

Text

Oksana x Mommy Alphabet Soup:

C is for Cast

Author's Note: Oksana is regressed to around ages 4-7 in this fic. Late preschool/early elementary mindset. She's "naughty" not because she wants to go against Eve, but because she is curious and empty-headed. Literally has her head in the clouds!

TW: Injury, Hospital, Doctors

It was the first warm day of Spring in their small Alaskan town. Oksana begged and begged her mommy to let her play in the backyard. When Eve finally agreed to let Oksana outside, she kissed her baby on the forehead and reminded her to "be safe. Please be careful. And Oksana Park, No. Climbing. The. Tree." Oksana agreed. Eve buttoned a pink cardigan around the girl and sent her on her way with a kiss on the forehead.

Oksana drew with chalk on the sidewalk, searched for bugs in the garden, and ran circles around the big tree. But eventually, as per usual, the girl became bored. So Oksana, being the clever and oh-so-confident girl that she was, decided that she needed a better view of the backyard. Forgetting (or maybe ignoring) the words her mommy told her, she scaled the big oak tree and sat on a high branch. Oksana kicked her legs, reveled in the warm sun, and watched as birds landed on the roof of their cabin. Everything was fine until it wasn't. The branch of the tree made a big cracking noise and the next thing Oksana knew, she was on the ground.

The girl screamed and hot tears began flowing from her eyes. "MOMMY!" Oksana yelled. Her whole body hurt, but especially her left wrist, which braced her fall. When Eve heard the commotion, she ran outside to find her baby with multiple cuts, scrapes, and already-forming bruises. "Oh, baby! What happened?" Eve kneeled in the grass and scooped Oksana into her lap. "My sweet girl. You're hurt. You poor thing." Eve cooed over the aching girl and rocked her softly back and forth. Oksana buried her face into her mommy's dark, curly hair. She could feel a wet spot forming on Eve's sweater where her tears were pooling. "Mommy, I--" Oksana took a big deep breath, struggling to get her words out between tears. "Mommy, I climbed, the tree. *sniffle* The branch broke and I fell down. My wrist hurts a lot." Oksana managed to squeak out. "Oh, Sana, honey, I told you not to climb the tree. I knew that old thing wouldn't be able to hold you." Eve stroked Oksana's blonde hair and pushed it behind her ear. "Let's take you into the clinic and see what the damage is. Do you think you can be a brave girl and let a doctor take a look at you?" Eve asked with soft eyes. "Yes, I can be brave," Oksana said, knowing that she can always be brave if she's with her mommy.

-------

A few hours later

-------

"You were such a brave girl today at the hospital. I'm so proud of how still you sat when the nurse put your cast on." Eve said quietly, as she and Oksana lay in bed. "Mommy, my cast is pink! I pick pink because it's my favorite color and it matches my princess pajamas and my pink cardigan!" Oksana beamed, proud of the decision she made. "And the nice nurse gave me a lollipop and stickers because I sit so still and be so good for the doctor!" "I'm so proud of you, Sana. But can you please promise me not to climb the tree again? I don't want you getting hurt, sweet girl." Eve explained, cupping Oksana's face in her hands. "You're too cute and perfect. I can't stand looking at you with all these cuts and bruises on your little face. Not to mention the cast you have to keep on for six weeks. I love you so much, pumpkin. Please, please be more careful." Eve said, with a look of genuine worry on her face. "I pinky promise I'll be more careful Mommy," Oksana said, sticking her (not broken) pinky towards Eve. Their fingers intertwined and they both smiled. "You know what? I almost forgot something," Eve said, sitting up in bed. "I'll be right back." 30 seconds later, the older woman came walking in with a black Sharpie marker. "Can Mommy see your cast for a second?" Oksana reached her broken arm over to Eve. After a moment, she pulled it back. Her cast now proudly read, "I love you, Oksana. My brave girl. ❤️ Mommy".

#eve polastri #killing eve #oksana agere #oksana astankova #oksana x mommy #sfw agere #sfw littlespace #villanelle x eve #villaneve #agere fic

15 notes · View notes

sophiamamamia · 2 years

Text

Watched the most amazing film ever, "The Nightingale," by Jennifer Kent, classified as "Tasmanian Gothic" but in reality more like a film about the core and essence of colonial violence. The year is 1825, the place is Tasmania (or, back then, Van Diemen's Land), the lead actress the most wonderful Aisling Franciozi. She plays an Irish convict Clare whose husband and child [SPOILERS] are killed by the sadistic English lieutenant, at the mercy of whom they find themselves. She finds an aboriginal guide "Billy" Mangana to get her through the bush to take revenge. The journey, as we of course anticipate, is horrifying on more levels than one. The film overall portrays violence and sexual violence kind of as it is, which caused some controversy (I guess some critics imagine that violence is not really violence and rape is not rape in real life, too, just as in curated movies). It was hard to watch, and so much reminding of the war in Ukraine and the atrocities committed by the Russian army: women raped, children killed, all screaming, drunk sadists all around them. "Billy" the guide at first distrusts Clare, and she acts racist towards him, until they have an interesting convo near the fire at night: he tells her the English killed his people, and that she is England, and she, this woman who in the last 48 hours had been beaten and raped, and now is exhausted and grieving, suddenly lifts up her head and says - I am Ireland. And then speaks in Gaelic, cursing England. And "Billy" understands - not her words, but her rage. And it dawns on both of them that they have been colonized by the same enemy.

This is pretty much the scene with which one could explain to those who *still* fail to grasp the war that Russia inflicted upon Ukraine, and the nature of our "relationship": when people, hearing that I am from Ukraine, start to recall that they "love Tolstoy", and to ask me if my town is "close to St. Petersburg" (thank God, no). Ah, and calling Ukraine "the Ukraine," as if it were some territory out there, and not a sovereign country. That's when it would be appropriate to show them this scene, when Aisling Franciozi lifts her head, sitting in the middle of the forest, dirty and beat up, like a refugee should, and says - I am Ireland. Or, I am Ukraine, for that matter; and then to repeat all she says in Gaelic about her abusers, the English (well, in our case the Russian). Later, "Billy" cries and keeps repeating "this is my country, this is my home," and it is scary to hear this 197 years later - and to know all we know about the fate of indigenous tribes. This also makes me think about Albert Razin, the Udmurt professor who committed self-immolation in 2019, protesting against the way Russia treats its indigenous peoples.

Anyway. The best movie ever about the colonial, and post-colonial, condition.

Not to mention anti-colonial.

Oksana Lutsyshyna (c)

#the nightingale #colonialism #imperialism #russia #ukraine

29 notes · View notes

calliopecalling · 2 years

Text

QOTS Rewatch - Season 5 Retrospective

Man, I've been dragging my feet on working on this. I've spent almost a full year on this rewatch (it really took on a life of its own; I didn't go into it planning to write involved metas or reblog a week's worth of gifsets for every episode but I am just THAT over the top) and I don't even know what I'm going to do with myself now that it's over. Watch something else?!?!?! Like what!?!?!?! Seriously though.

Anyway, where were we? Season 5. It's an interesting season to reflect back on. Sometimes it feels like my second-favorite season after season 2, and other times it feels like my second-least-favorite season after season 4. It ends up being really difficult to place. Its primary problem really in my opinion is that it's rushed, and there's so much plot to get through that the writers and editors had to leave us with sometimes frustratingly short character-driven scenes and force us to fill in the gap. But it does feel more Teresa-driven than season 1 does and, Kote notwithstanding, the non-Teresa-centered scenes still somehow feel a little more relevant or engaging than some of the Vargas stuff in seasons 1 and 3 both. (Epifanio and Batman's story took up a superfluous amount of screen time in season 1, I realized on rewatch, and season 3 has soooo much Cortez and Isabela and Loya and stuff that is way more painful to watch than Kelly Anne getting an ultrasound, even if Pote's sexist quips do make me roll my eyes.) So I don't know. I guess you'll have to give me a few more weeks to think about it. But season 5 as a whole entity in my opinion stands up pretty well on rewatch. It's the Jeresa content in season 5 that doesn't hold up as well as season 2 or 3's Jeresa. (Again, largely because of how rushed it is.)

But as always, I'll do my ranking and things:

My Top 3 Episodes

My Top 5 Scenes

Season 5 Episodes Ranked

Teresa’s Journey

Jeresa, DUH

Top 3 Season 5 Episodes

3: 5x05, Mas Dinero Mas Problemas

It actually was hard to choose the third place episode. There are several other contenders for this spot. But this episode as a whole is really fun to me. It's Teresa-centric. It features Oksana (yay female characters). It's set in Berlin. It features awesome Jeresa teamwork. It throws back to earlier show canon (Rocco de la Pena! Oleg!) and Teresa even gets to break an asshole's nose. James's all-black suit is to die for, as is Teresa's high pony, and best of all? The non-Teresa-focused material is focused on George and Boaz in Miami which, while definitely feeling sinister, gives both of them great material to work with. George buying Teresa that boat? Lol. This is an episode that I gladly watch in full without wanting to fast-forward through anything (a rarity for me among episodes after season 2) and it's a queenpin-esque version of Teresa that isn't as painful as the previous two episodes. All great stuff.

2: 5x09, A Prueba de Balas

Listen, I am not going to pretend that this is here for any other reason than the love confessions and long-awaited Jeresa hook-up, though I love every single Jeresa moment in the episode, I love that it's down to the two of them against the world (just like it was in the beginning before Teresa even knew that it was the two of them against the world), and I love that she takes out Kostya like the badass she is. We won't talk about the raccoons and peewee soccer.

1: 5x02, Me Llevo Manhattan

OBVIOUSLY. I mean: this episode might be my favorite episode of the entire series. It's perfect, classic, angsty, electric Jeresa; they actually talk to each other about stuff other than business (several times); they call back in their dialogue to earlier seasons. They KISS and it's magnetic. They dance around whatever the fuck it is that's happening between them. And they both just stumble around incoherently attracted to each other but refusing to talk about it because they are imbeciles. On top of all that, there's James back to his going-all-out-to-protect-Teresa habits and Teresa back to her taking-crazy-risks-but-earning-mad-respect bs. Teresa's whole "you work for me now; when I call, you answer on the second ring" speech to Lafayette is literal fire and even the non-Jeresa scenes in this episode are good: Kelly Anne with Judge Lafayette's business partner; Boaz with the Judge; the pregnancy reveal. My favorite scene of the episode, though, the one that makes me levitate, is the balcony scene between James and Teresa in Manhattan. Wtffffff that scene was like, designed to personally destroy me. But more about that later.

Top 5 Season 5 Scenes

This was so hard for me. The truth is that there are two types of scenes, Jeresa scenes and non-Jeresa scenes, and they belong on parallel ladders to me. The Teresa who shows up with James and the Teresa who shows up otherwise is so different (I mean: compare literally any of the 5x02 Jeresa scenes to, say, how Teresa interacts with Oksana and Oscar and the Judge in that same episode). And I love both kinds of scenes for her. The way she almost coyly greets those real estate developers in 5x06, knowing full well she's going to slaughter them? *shivers* sooooo good. But when push comes to shove, it's the Jeresa scenes that all slide to the top, because it's the version of herself she gives him that is the one we're ultimately rooting for. So without further ado:

#5:

The scene: Episode 5x02, bedroom conversation

What I love about it: Soooo muuuuuch subtext here. After Teresa in the previous episode gave James literally nothing to work with, now that she's wrapped her mind around him being back she is completely unable to keep up the act. Watching both of them dancing around what they're actually trying to talk about is so delightful, and the icing on the cake is Chicho walking in right in the middle of a particularly intimate gesture.

#4:

The scene: Episode 5x09, the balcony kiss

What I love about it: Do I really need to explain myself? I love this kiss so much because it's written all over Teresa's face what combination of fear, desire, and love is driving her. It's no longer impulsive as it was in 5x02 or tenuous as it was in 3x09 or generous as it was in 3x05, it's for her, it's because she wants him and she's terrified of dying without him knowing it. And then he returns it so wholly and confidently and damn. To me it's the moment they catch up to each other and finally land on the same page. The I love yous that follow were made possible by this kiss.

#3:

The scene: Episode 5x07, the waterfront launch party heart-eyes

What I love about it: Again, so much subtext here. The intense intimacy of a moment in which relatively little gets said (and all of it completely innocuous). The verbal callback to the season 3 finale made the fandom's collective hearts jump to our throats as we wondered, with Teresa, if he was about to say he was leaving. Teresa's clear display of vulnerability in this single 90 second scene made up for the four previous episodes of distance between them. But really.... it's all in the subtext here.

#2:

The scene: Episode 5x10, the final Queenpin scene

What I love about it: It's the perfect Queenpin send-off. It's perfectly appropriate that she shows up one last time and the way it's done here is so beautiful. She looks so serene and her nod of approval closes the circle with episodes 2x06 and 3x10 where Queenpin seemed to be nudging Teresa towards James. And THEN, as Queenpin departs, James steps in. 'You ok?' Could it be any clearer? She doesn't need Queenpin to be her guardian angel anymore. She has James. God, I must be in a mood today because I'm literally choking up as I write this 😭 Excuse me while I go rewatch this scene 28 more times.

#1:

The scene: Episode 5x02, the balcony scene

What I love about it: Was there ever any doubt this was going to be my number one scene of this season? No, there was not. It is the perfect combination of classic Jeresa--James pining, Teresa being cool and unruffled, an almost visible electric current of tension between them, and oh my god the subtexttttttt. Yes, I'm predictable. I don't even think I have enough words to convey exactly how much this scene breaks me apart and I definitely don't have the words to confess how often I rewatch it. Literally I AM JAMES when she says "you and me can't happen" and I feel my entire body turn to jelly, and then when she says "maybe in some other life" I'm like EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE GO GET IT JAMES. This scene to me is their crowning achievement as actors playing this couple of idiots. That chemistry is crazy.

Season 5 Episodes Ranked

5x02

5x09

5x05

5x06

5x08

5x07

5x01

5x03

5x04

5x10

Yes, the finale is my least-favorite episode of the season. There's just nowhere near enough Teresa, or James. Waaaaay too much Pote, and Pote is just not an interesting character. Plus it's so dominated by men. I just could not care about the fight between him and Boaz. It all felt like male viewership fan service. Ew. So, looking at episodes in their entirety, it falls at the bottom. Really though I think this speaks to honestly how strong the season is overall, when it comes down to it. I loved it on rewatch and looking back at this list I even feel sad about having 5x03 and 5x04 so low! I've grown to like even those, despite how painful some of the scenes are.

Teresa's Journey

So, this is the season that obviously brings her as close to Queenpin as she'll ever come, the season in which she faces the ultimate choice: fully abandon herself in a quest to become untouchable in her power, or fully abandon that quest in order to save her soul. Both of these are different sides of the "survival" coin. And both involve incredible risk. Having taken out Kostya, she came as close as really was possible to that untouchable power that the Queenpin visions throughout the series evoked. She would have been protected by the American CIA and would have run the largest and most powerful drug empire in the world. Of course when you're at the top, someone is always ready to take you out, so the risk of staying--despite the promise of safety and protection--was huge.

On the other hand, disappearing. So much risk there, too. So simple in concept: shed your identity, go somewhere remote, and start over from scratch. But when you're in the cartel world that deep, obviously it's not just possible to get out. Your continued existence is too threatening to everyone who stays in; you know way too much. And SO much could go wrong in the process of trying to escape.

So both of these choices offered the promise of safety and both came with a heaping side of risk. But the Teresa we were introduced to in season 1 would've had absolutely no difficulty picking between them, right? So in retrospect, her full character journey was to slowly and gradually become someone who would believably struggle with that choice, someone we would believably worry might make the "wrong" choice.

And I think they really did pull that off. Already by season 2, it's less clear that she would choose to disappear rather than become all-powerful. She'd already lost everyone she'd loved by then and felt herself to be alone, and I think loneliness was one of the biggest drivers for her in seeking power over feeding her soul. It was always loss and trauma that pushed her further into the business and, even though season 5 didn't super explicitly link her rapid power grabs to Tony's death the previous season, it was clearly the darkness of that loss (maybe combined with the unsettling reappearance of James) that pushed her over the edge.

So was it believable that, in the end, she chose her soul? Yeah. They made us worry about her for the first half of season 5, pushing away everyone she cared about and seeming like a hollow shell of herself. But by episode 5x08 her vulnerability is palpable again. Like George's loss, combined with pregnant Kelly Anne's kidnapping, and faced with the possibility of dying herself, and losing James in the process, that she gets her wakeup call. So to me, her final decision feels very earned. I just wish they hadn't wasted a full episode trying to convince us she wasn't going to make it 😂

Jeresa

And all inextricably tied up with Teresa's character turnaround in season 5 is her relationship with James. This is another thing the season didn't make super explicit, at least in the written dialogue, but on rewatch it feels exceptionally clear that his presence allowed her to make what no doubt seemed like an impossible decision to turn the train around that was fast hurtling towards a cliff. He:

showed up mortally wounded trying to save her life

stuck by her side even when she made a disappointing decision that showed how much she'd changed

tolerated her snapping at him and pushing him away because he wasn't going to just give up on her after the huge way she'd busted into HIS life and changed HIM from the inside out

gently challenged her, wherever possible, despite having had it made clear to him that doing that was risky

backed her up 100% and went the extra mile to show his loyalty (beating up Navarro's connect), care (delivering an entire army of ex-Mossad for her security), and competence (stealing the painting)

And then, when she'd sent Pote and Kelly Anne packing and it was just the two of them again (the symmetry to the beginning of the series is so lovely there), his steadiness in the face of her emotional undoing is such a visible factor of her turning everything around. Yes, she's scared for Kelly Anne and her baby. Yes, she's upset about George. But in 5x09 after she's sent Kote away and it's too late to save George, those aren't her motivators anymore. James is. You can see it in her eyes on the balcony that it's not her own death that she fears but the possibility of dying without having loved.

Teresa is a lover. We knew that from the very beginning. She essentially told us that in her own voice over in the pilot. Her drug of choice was Guero. Comparing Guero to a drug is so apt (and foreshadows all the events of the first three seasons and how Guero's actions underlie so much of what she had to go through) so that her fear of love also becomes understandable. She was so slow to fully trust James because of the betrayal she'd experienced before; she was slow to open herself up to him as a lover because the risk of that vulnerability was too devastating. But when she stares down death and realizes she's held real love at arm's-length, its pull and its promise is way too great to turn away from.

I think the writers and show runners of this season struggled with this because the love story they'd created was so powerful and yet they knew (and I agree) that this show wasn't intended to be a love story. The book that it's based on is not a love story. It's the story of a woman and her incredible journey from life on the streets of Culiacán to becoming a powerful druglord and then her final escape from that life. But Jeresa is so powerful that even without explicit efforts on the part of the writers this season it's clear that it's a story in which love wins. She gets out, because of love. She makes the choice to disappear, because of love. Yes, platonic and familial love play into it, too; and stacking up the losses of those she's loved over the years and the risks to those who remain are explicitly part of the story. But by 5x09 the only ones who remain are her and James. She's lost or sent away everyone else.

I guess I forgive the writers for leaving much of their relationship this season to the imagination. I would've loved more conversations between the two of them that were 5x02 or 3x08 caliber, but I think the writers were trying to strike a balance between the people who clearly watched the show for Jeresa and the people who clearly cared less. Do I think they should've just written the show the seasons 2-3 writers set up? Yes. Do I blame them for trying to please a broader base? No. I don't, because I think it's ultimately so obvious anyway that James helped Teresa out of the cave in the same way she did originally that it still ties together beautifully in the end.

So. Now what?

As I said yesterday, I have saved many hundreds of gifsets in my queue still to reblog that I didn't reblog as part of the "official" rewatch. And I'm sure I'll continue to find more, and will reblog any others that get created. I'm also a huuuuuge Alice fan (in case that's not abundantly obvious by now) and will stick around to reblog whatever Alice content I consumer and maybe even Peter content from time to time. I'll post a full series retrospective eventually, but I doubt it will be quite as comprehensive as these season metas because I think I've kind of covered a lot of the analytical ground by now!! But I still want to do my rankings and all that. All that to say: I'll be around. And I hope to continue to see some of you around too 🥰 Thanks for sticking with me.

#qots s5 #2021 rewatch #txt post #qots meta #season 5 retrospective #episode rankings #farewell beloved characters I shall miss thinking THIS level of profoundly about you every day #but I'm looking forward to becoming *slightly* more chill in my level of consumption of this show lol #I'll start my post-rewatch queue tomorrow #can't wait to see what the shuffle reveals lol

14 notes · View notes

storms-corner · 4 months

Text

an experimental drabble where oksana dreams of being small

—

When Oksana cracks her eyes open that morning, something feels different. Like the world has tilted on its axis, and turned so large while Oksana was asleep.

Confused, Oksana holds her arms out in front of her. Her breath catches in her throat when she sees how small they are. They’re half their normal length, and her hands are tiny and chubby. Like they belong to a baby. Oksana does the same to her legs, lifting them up in the air. They’re small too. Her heart thumps in her chest as she begins to put two and two together.

The thing she’s wished for, the thing she’s cried and cried about to Eve — it happened. Had she not been regressed, Oksana would’ve asked more questions about her state. But she doesn’t give it much thought. Her little head only has room for one thought. Mommy.

Rubbing at her eye, Oksana clumsily rolls over on her side. She sees the bed, and realises that she isn’t in it. She’s laid cozily in a small, soft crib right beside it, with the side facing the bed being open. Oksana’s heart races when she sees that Eve is awake. Mommy, mommy, mommy.

Her small hands reach, and her mouth opens to speak, but her words are replaced by happy, if not somewhat desperate, little babbles. Eve gives her a sleepy smile, her brown eyes twinkling, and reaches her hand out. Oksana grabs onto two of Eve’s fingers. Just as she often does in real life. Except in this existence, two fingers are all that fit in her hand.

“Oksana,” Eve murmurs fondly. “You’re awake already, hm?”

Oksana, understanding that words aren’t of much use to her, just smiles. She likes this. Sometimes she doesn’t want to talk in the real world, but it’s often expected of her to be able to do so. Here there isn’t any pressure to talk.

“I bet you want to come to mommy, huh?” Eve says softly, pushing herself up to sit.

Eve stands up and leans over the bedside crib. Sunlight shines through Eve’s hair, and her smiling face makes everything feel okay. Eve effortlessly lifts Oksana out of the crib. In real life, lifting takes effort. Eve is strong, but Oksana is a tall girl who has to do half the work herself by wrapping her legs around Eve, even when she’s exhausted. Now her legs don’t reach further than just below Eve’s chest, and her head is gently placed to rest on Eve’s shoulder.

“Good morning, baby,” Eve whispers, beginning to sway gently. “I had this funny dream where you were so big. Bigger than me. It felt real. But you’re just as tiny as you were when we went to sleep.”

Oksana clenches her hand around one of Eve’s curls. Her stomach swirls. With hunger and with a familiar sadness. This world she’s found herself in seems to be the very opposite of the one she lives in.

“That was silly of mommy to dream,” Eve chuckles. “Why would I want to give up this, hm?”

As she says this, she holds Oksana in front of her and gives her face a row of gentle kisses.

When she rests her head on Eve’s shoulder again, and Eve’s large hand runs up and down her small back, and the world goes fuzzy around the edges, Oksana begins to understand that this is just a dream. Within minutes, she’ll return to the real world. Where she is taller than Eve, where her hand is larger than Eve’s, where her mind doesn’t always match her body.

Oksana doesn’t mind. As long as she can return to this world another time.

#this was just to try i guess? maybe it’s weird #but i could write a follow up :)#c. eve #c. oksana #storm's writing tag #eve and oksana

21 notes · View notes