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tightjeansjavi · 1 year

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Burning in a Hopeless Dream

Boston QZ: Part 12

“Hearts Don’t Break Around Here”

Joel Miller x f!o/c

A/N: this actually might have been my favorite chapter to write. It’s so beautiful ♡

Summary: just a group of friends/lovers pretending that the horrors that lay outside a white picket fence, no longer exist for a day. No apocalypse, no death, no carnage, no violence. Just good wine, full bellies, laughter and oh, love. Lots and lots of love.

~word count: 7k~

Warnings: implied age gap, established relationship, brief mentions of angst, swearing, soft! joel, he’s so sweet your teeth will hurt! joel, fluff, consumption of alcohol, nicknames, so much flirting, teasing, feelings, emotion, comforting themes, light smut, consent, consent, consent, cockwarming. (+18) minors dni!

Songs for this chapter:

“Hearts Don’t Break Around Here” by Ed Sheeran

“Second Chances” by Gregory Alan Isakov

“Kiss Me” by Ed Sheeran

“From Eden” by Hozier

“Like Real People Do” by Hozier

“The Last Waltz” by Engelbert Humperdinck

“Heaven” by Niall Horan

“Somethin’ Stupid” by Nancy & Frank Sinatra

“A Man Without Love” by Engelbert Humperdinck

June 2021 : Boston QZ

“Oh my god, she has fuckin turned you into a goddamn marshmallow!” Tess was in absolute disbelief when Joel Miller sat across from her, with chipped purple nail polish on his nails.

He let out a scoff while he tried to hide his small grin. Yeah, okay maybe you had turned this grumpy man into a marshmallow. Soft, fluffy, gooey. All the things that no one would ever believe Joel Miller could actually be. “It’s just a bit of nail polish, Tess. It ain’t that big of a deal.”

The two friends sat across from each other in the community square. It was blazing out. The sun was beating down on them unforgivingly. They each had a cup of homemade hooch in front of them. Joel would have been back at the apartment with you but you had kicked him out. Not permanently, of course. Just for a few hours because as much as you loved having him there every waking moment of the day, you needed your space. Of course, your newfound lover fought you on it at first, until he reluctantly gave in. He supposed that a bit of space from each other wouldn’t do any harm.

Tess had grinned at him over the rim of her cup. It was pretty glaringly obvious that Joel had it bad for you. “Where is she anyway? I Expected you two to be tied at the hip, if you weren’t already.”

“She kicked me out.” He took a sip then before adding, “Not permanently. Think i’ve been suffocating her a bit. She wanted some space to herself. Can’t really blame her, but you know how I am.”

“You’re as stubborn as a mule Joel.”

“You’re right. Ain’t nothin gonna change that either.” He looked around for a moment and felt the sweat dripping down the back of his neck from the blazing sun. “So, what’re you doin out here Tess? You got a hot date you’re waitin for or somethin?”

When she didn’t immediately respond, he raised his brow in her direction. He could see her cheeks heating up and it sure as hell wasn’t from the sun. “Oh my god, was I right on the money with that? No fuckin way. Who is it? You gotta tell me now c’mon.” He was intrigued, and unashamedly excited for her. Tess deserved happiness just as much as he did. Although, he was still getting used to it. Feeling for someone again. Opening his heart up, piece by piece. It wasn’t easy by any means, but he’d do it a 1000 times over for you.

“Yeah, okay. I am waitin for a hot date, but before you say anything–” She had paused when she saw Beatrix approaching and Joel had turned his head to see where she was looking. Using his hand to shield his face from the sun and when he spotted Beatrix. He couldn’t help but slowly look over at Tess, a grin tugging on his lips. “Ohhh. I see now. You and Beatrix, huh? When did that happen?”

“Been happening for a while now, Miller.” Beatrix responded to his question as she stood alongside the makeshift table and looked over her girlfriend, shooting her a little wink.

“Beatrix.” He nodded and gestured to the empty seat. “Makes sense. Considerin Tess has been pretty much absent from the apartment. Y’know it’s uh–it’s nice that y’all have each other I mean–” He rubbed the back of his neck slightly.

Beatrix let out a light laugh and nudged her girl then. “Man, you weren’t kiddin when you said he’s gone completely soft. You alright there Joel? Is the sun starting to get to ya?”

He grumbled under his breath and crossed his arms over his chest. “I ain’t goin soft. Just think it’s nice y’all are happy.”

“He let her paint his nails, Bea. The man has it down bad.”

“y’know that is actually pretty fuckin sweet. You’re a lucky man, Miller.”

“Oh, you’ve got no idea.” He wanted to say more. It was on the tip of his tongue. All the ways you had made him feel. In a way, it infuriated him because this was never supposed to happen. You had shown up and wrecked all his plans, if he would even call them that. You and your smile, your ferocity, your wit. Hell, he could easily compile a list of all of your attributes. It would end up being a mile long, but he could do it. Yeah, he had it pretty bad.

The three fall into a comfortable chatter. As if they are long-time friends, meeting at the bar for a casual drink. Catching up on one another’s lives. Who’s married, how many kids do you have now? Do you still hate your job? Did you ever find love? Are you happy? Except, there is no bar. There’s the Boston Quarantine Zone, crumbling more and more each day. Crawling with FEDRA, Fireflies, infected, raiders, and cowardly men like Robert.

It’s easy to forget the hardship, violence, and death taking place just outside your window when you’ve found yourself in love. Finding one person who makes it all worth living again. Joel Miller was unashamedly in love. There was no hiding it. It was written across his weathered face, burnished between his two thick brows; melded thoughtfully through the ridges on his forehead. His hardness towards the world was slowly melting away, dripping in a puddle beside his worn boots. You made Joel Miller want to live again.

“Oh, before I forget, Frank radioed in this mornin. Said somethin about a summer solstice get-together? Guess he’s the only one makin an effort to keep track of dates and the seasons. Anyway, figured you wanna go Tess. Oh, and Beatrix. You should come along as well. If you’re lookin for a taste of hospitality.” He had lightly nudged Tess’s boot with his own and shot her a little grin.

“Summer solstice get-together? Yeah, that’s got Frank written all over it.” She looked over at Beatrix and nodded. “Yeah Bea, you should come with us. Only if you want to, that is.”

“Well, I gotta come now cause I'm pretty intrigued to see what exactly a summer solstice get-together really is. I’m all in, babe.”

Joel thought Tess and Beatrix looked good together. Genuinely he was happy for her. For them. They complimented each other nicely and it warmed his heart to see Tess smile again. A real smile, one that finally reached her eyes. He also knew that you would be over the moon that Tess had found someone. You and Tess had learned to put your differences aside. It was a phenomenon to see just how things really changed from the cold, rainy day you met Joel and Tess, 4 years ago.

The last thing you had ever expected to happen was falling for Joel Miller. The slow burn of your feelings intertwined. The intensity, confusion, resentment, forgiveness. It all went by in a blur. The record skipped, screeched, halted. The vinyl of your hearts were torn, and sewn back together. You nurtured one another through it all. You both were rough around the edges, sharp to the touch, walls miles high, impassable. You tore one another’s defenses down till it was just you two, standing in front of a mirror, looking in on yourselves. It was as clear as day that you and Joel were made for eachother, in more ways than one. Whatever soulmates were made up of, whatever the fairytales, and romance novels called falling in love, didn’t compare to how you and Joel felt for eachother. Your connection, devotion, sacrifice for one another was on a completely different plane. Love didn’t even begin to scratch the surface.

The three friends finished what was left of their drinks as the sun sky began to shift. Curfew was approaching. The different pink and orange hues were stunning against the sullen backdrop of the QZ. Joel couldn’t help but embrace Tess then. Giving her a firm hug. Much to his own surprise, he had hugged Beatrix as well. Looking over her shoulder when he caught two QZ residents giving an obvious dirty look to Tess holding Bea’s hand loosely. Joel didn’t even hesitate to stare them down. If anyone were to ever dare fuck with his friends? Well, you could imagine just what he would do.

“We’re leavin first thing in the mornin. Before the sun is up. Hope you’re not as cranky about it as I know Gwen will be.” He gave them both a slight nod before he turned on his heel, leaving the small community center and headed home, to you.

____________

The early morning hours ascended far too soon in your opinion. Despite your grumbled protests of, “five more minutes, please baby just five more.” Joel had ignored them and coaxed you awake with peppered kisses on your face and soft touches. When you didn’t immediately budge, he started tickling your sides and nearly avoided a kick to the balls when you sat up in annoyance. “Mother fucker, you really couldn’t give me 5 more damn minutes?”

“I’m sorry honey, but we gotta get dressed and go. You know I’d love to give ya 5 more minutes but I can’t. Besides, don’t you wanna see Frank? C’mon, sugar. I got coffee waitin for ya too.”

You let out a huff as he grabbed your face in his calloused palms gently. He greeted you with a soft, warm kiss and you playfully swatted at him. “Yeah yeah okay fine I’m up. What was that about coffee?”

He let out a deep chuckle when you had swatted him away and in return, he threw you one of his flannels to throw on. “That’s my pretty girl.”

“Shuddup. It’s too early for flirting.”

“Never too early. I’ll be in the kitchen waitin for ya.”

He left your shared room quietly, waiting for you in the kitchen, loading his and your gun. Once your bags were packed, and you had the steaming thermos of coffee in your grasp, you and Joel headed out.

His natural protective nature washed over him as you made your way through the alleys, and dark corners before reaching the exit point of the QZ where Bea and Tess were waiting. The hike to Bill and Franks was just as you remembered. Surrounded by lush forest while the four of you walked. Joel was leading the way of course, with you tagging by his side. Your fingers brushed against one another a few strides before he grasped your hand in his, intertwining his fingers with yours. You were fucking holding hands and it absolutely warmed your soul. He only let go a few times to readjust his rifle over his shoulder, or if he heard something. Other than that, his palm was constantly on yours.

You arrived just outside Bill and Franks compound by late afternoon. This time, your company was expected, and before Joel even had the chance to punch the code into the metal gate, it was opening.

When you saw Frank up ahead, racing out of the house, you let go of Joel’s hand before running towards your friend that you hadn’t seen in so long. You yelled his name with pure joy radiating from your soul and when you finally met, Frank had scooped you up into his arms and spun you around.

Joel couldn’t help but smile at the exchange. You and Frank truly adored each other.

“Little Bird!” Frank exclaimed as he spun you around, hugging you tightly before he gently set you down on the ground.

“Frank! I’ve missed you!” You giggled softly when he had spun you around.

“Pssh? Me? You missed me? I was absolutely devastated when Joel told me you got sick!” He gently released you from his grasp, only to bring his arm around your shoulders as you started heading towards the house.

“I know, Joel told me, and I’m forever grateful for the medicine and tea.” You wrapped your arm around his middle then as you walked, the smile etched on your features was surely going to be permanent by the end of the day.

Joel, Tess, and Bea followed closely behind as the metal gate clinked shut behind them.

Bill was at the top of the stairs on the porch. Apron on as he was already cooking. He wasn’t a huge fan of you, not that you took it personally because he wasn’t a huge fan of anyone, except for his lover of course.

“Glad to see that you aren’t dead.” He spoke gruffly, arms across his chest.

In mock shock, you brought your hand against your chest and laughed. “No way man, you’re glad to see that I’m not dead? I can’t believe this. I’m going to have to document this exact moment!” You jokingly said.

Bill couldn’t help but let out a chuckle. “Yeah, I sure as hell am happy you ain’t dead cause otherwise that one? He pointed to Joel. Would be 10x more insufferable than he already is.”

You leaned in with a small grin on your face and whispered, “yeah he’s pretty awful. No idea how I actually put up with him.”

You could feel Joel’s hand wrapping around your waist then pulling you back slightly. “I’m pretty awful? Hmmm…we’ll see about that honey.” He whispered.

You and Joel were the first to enter the familiar home. Making your way to one of the guests rooms for the night and as you set your bag down, pulling out your pistol and knife, setting them down on the nightstand.

Joel was grabbing you then, grasping your hips as he pulled you flush against his chest. His hand that wasn’t holding you firmly came up to your face, gently tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “What was that about me bein pretty awful? I heard that correctly, didn’t I?” His tone was low, teasing.

You immediately brought your arms around his neck and threaded your fingers through his soft curls. “That was nothing, honey. I was just joking. You’re far from awful.”

Before he could steal a kiss, you were slipping out of his grasp like the little tease you were. You had a smirk spread across your lips as you leaned against the doorway. “C’mon, we’re not gonna spend all day up here okay? We’ll have all night for that Joel.” You shot him a wink before slipping past the door and headed back downstairs.

“Minx.” He muttered under his breath before he set down his rifle against his bag and pulled his own pistol out of his pocket and set it down next to yours. “Damn little tease.”

You had planned to take full advantage of the lasting sunlight. Bill and Franks home was surrounded by wildflowers and tall grasses. So that’s where Joel knew he could find you. Boy, were you a sight for sore eyes when he found you. Your back was splayed in the tall grass with your arms crossed behind your head and your eyes shut, blissfully. The sun was warm and inviting up until a shadow was casted over it. Now who the hell—Joel, of course.

You brought your hand up against your face as your eyes opened, shielding them from the sun as you looked up at your lover's tall frame.

“Comfortable?” He mused.

“Yeah, but can you maybe move like..I don’t know, a good inch to the left? You’re blocking my sun, cowboy.”

He chuckled and brought his arms across his chest. “Oh, I’m so sorry sugar. Did you want me to move?”

“You’re such an asshole.” You said with a light laugh as you reached your hand up to him and as soon as he grasped it, you were using all your strength to pull him down next to you.

He let out a grumble out of protest before he let you pull him down into the thick grass with a soft thud. “Was that really necessary?” He let out a grunt as he propped himself up on his elbow, looking over at you.

“It was because you were in the way of MY sun so I had to take matters into my own hands, lover.”

He fought the urge to roll his eyes as he plucked a strand of the tall grass and twirled it between his fingers. You couldn’t help but lean over, grasping his jaw in your hand, and kiss him sweetly. He wasted no time grab ahold of your hips while he maneuvered himself onto his back, coaxing you into his lap so you were straddling him.

“Joel..” you warned. Kissing him deeper because you simply couldn’t help it. His kisses were addictive.

He hummed in response bringing his hand up to the back of your head and threaded his fingers through your hair gently. “What is it honey? Just tryin to get myself comfortable.” he mumbled into your lips.

“Slick mother fucker.” You pulled back from the kiss and looked down at his smug expression while he brought his arms behind his head then. His eyebrow tilted up towards you in a suggestive manner.

“enjoyin the view?” He rasped. You looked so pretty in the sunlight.

“Maybe I am, maybe I’m not.” You reached out and lightly booped his nose before climbing off of his hips.

“You really gonna tease me all day like this? What, you tryin to drive me mad? Up a wall? Cause, it’s workin.”

You looked back at him with a small grin, shaking your head. “No, of course not. That would just be pretty awfully mean of me.”

He narrowed his eyes at you before he slowly sat up scooting over so he was close to you once more. “Can I sit out here and hold ya at least? Promise I won’t try anything funny.”

“Joel, of course you can honey, you don’t have to ask for that. It’s yours.” You watched as a grin tugged on his lips as he reached for your waist and gently pulled you back against his chest. Letting you get comfortable between his thighs.

Once you were settled, he pressed a kiss to the side of your head while his elbows rested back against the soft earth beneath his palms. He watched you curiously as you began to pluck some of the surrounding wildflowers. All different kinds. He watched as your delicate fingers weaved together the stems and he swore, he caught you humming.

While you were crafting together your flower crown, Joel couldn’t help but lean his head back slightly, his eyes closed, a relaxed expression on his face as the sun warmed his skin. He was at peace, being here with you. He must have dozed off for a few minutes because he didn’t feel your soft grasp on his bicep right away.

“Joel, honey?..” you spoke softly through the warm breeze.

“Hmm?” He mumbled softly, blinking a few times as he tilted his head forward once more and looked at the wildflower crown between your fingers. “Oh, that’s beautiful sugar. You want me to put it on you?”

You turned your head slightly so you could look at him. “I was gonna ask if I could put it on you.”

“Oh? No baby, it’ll look beautiful on you. It’ll look silly on me.”

“No it won’t, Joel. You’ll look handsome, I promise.”

How could he really say no to you? Especially when you looked so carefree, so happy. It was just a little flower crown after all. Maybe he wouldn’t end up looking silly.

“Oh, alright. Go ahead. Lay it on me” he watched as you gently lowered the flower crown on top of his soft curls. Your smile was so soft, so beautiful.

“So, how do I look? Still ruggedly handsome?”

You shook your head, brushing your fingers against his jaw gently. “No, you look beautiful Joel.”

__________

Unbeknownst to either of you, Frank had seen the moment between you two from the open kitchen window. He, of course, already had his vintage Polaroid camera at the ready as he snapped a picture. He knew you would want to always have this memory for safe keeping.

He looked over at Tess and Bea who were helping Bill prep the vegetables. “So, when did this all happen? I always had this feeling that they liked each other. I just never thought it would actually happen.”

Tess set down her knife and wiped her hands on one of the nearby towels. “She almost died this Spring. The three of us were gonna leave the QZ permanently with some other smugglers. We were set up. Robert caught wind of us and sent some of his men. Gwen shot first. I watched her go down. Saw the knife sticking out of her gut and Joel? I’ll never forget the screams he let out.”

Frank's face fell as Tess told him what had happened to you. He was in disbelief.

“She nearly bled out on our kitchen table. I had to keep him calm. There was this moment where I knew he thought he was going to lose her. She was fading and then he just grabbed her face, Frank. He’s got tears streaming down his face and he kisses her. He kissed her because he thought he’d never get the chance to do it again.”

Tess nearly had tears in her eyes from that traumatic night and when she felt Bea grasp her hand gently and give it a squeeze, she took a deep breath.

“He stitched her up, and laid with her on the couch. He literally wouldn’t leave her side. He slept on the floor next to her till she woke up. He was just so—I don’t even know how to explain it. I’ve never seen him get so distraught. I let him go that night, and it probably was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. They’re meant for eachother. I’ve never seen him so fuckin happy. I’m happy for him. I’m happy that someone broke through to him. I’ll always care about him, nothing will ever change that. She’s his person, and he’s hers.”

Frank was already grabbing a bottle of wine. He had his own tears brewing because how fucking beautiful was it to hear that two people, who despised eachother from the beginning, had found eachother. Fallen for one another, and held on tight.

“Jesus fucking Christ. I’m going to need a large glass of wine after that.” He was already unscrewing the bottle and poured himself and Tess and Bea a glass. “You found someone too. You moved on, right?” He gestured to Bea by her side.

Tess took the glass with zero hesitation and took a big sip. “Bea is quite literally the best thing that has ever happened to me. I feel like I’ve gotten a new chance. A fresh start.” She looked over at her lover, who was in disbelief and when Tess saw her tears welling, she reached over and gently wiped them away with her thumb.

“You really..you really feel about me that way?”

“Course I do.”

Frank was already raising his glass in a toast and had to gently kick Bill to grab his own glass, with a disapproving grumble.

“Here’s to good wine, full bellies, laughter with friends and of course, love. Lots and lots of love.”

Tess, Bea, Frank and Bill all clinked their glasses together.

What a sight they all were to the outside world beyond the white picket fence.

________

You and Joel were in your own little world as held you against his chest, he was still wearing the flower crown you crafted him and you were both looking up at the passing clouds, in a comfortable silence. You could hear the birds chirp, the soft breeze through the grass and the humming of buzzards.

A purple butterfly, with delicate papery wings flew above you and landed right on Joel’s nose but before he could shoo it away, you had gently grabbed his wrist then and whispered, “No, don’t. You’ll scare it baby.”

He looked afraid to move then. Staying absolutely still as you gently released your grip on his wrist. The butterfly slowly flapped its wings, revealing the different purple hues, some dark, some light. It flew from its perch on his nose, fluttering for a moment before it landed on the outside of his hand.

“Think it likes you, honey.”

Joel furrowed his brows slightly as he looked down at the delicate insect resting along his hand. Suddenly, the realization hit him. The color purple. Purple nail polish, a purple butterfly.

“Sarah.” He spoke above a whisper.

“Hi baby girl.”

You both watched as the butterfly flapped its wings once more before it flew off his hand, fluttering away.

You saw the tears well in his eyes before he even could feel them and you immediately pulled him into your arms, bringing his head against your chest while his arms draped around your middle, holding you close to him.

Neither of you spoke in those moments. You simply just held each other.

You were both torn away from your thoughts when the back door leading out to the porch opened and Frank stuck his head out and yelled. “Dinner is ready love birds! Hurry up before it gets cold!”

“I’m okay, sugar. C’mon. Let’s go and..what’s that word you like usin? Immerse ourselves with our friends.” He gave your waist a light squeeze, reassuring you that he was okay.

You answered him by gently grabbing his face in your hands, stroking his cheekbones with your thumbs, giving him a sweet, loving kiss.

His eyes fluttered shut when your lips met his and he kissed you back, holding you there for a moment before he slowly pulled away and stood to his feet, offering you his hand as he helped you up.

The six of you were comfortably sitting together. Frank spared no expense to the details of the table spread. He had brought out the finest china just for this occasion. It was, after all, the longest day of the year. What better way to celebrate, than with friends? Before you dug into your meals, Frank poured everyone a tall glass of wine and everyone toasted to love, longevity, and good times. Joel was looking right at you, a small grin on his face as he raised his glass in your direction. The only sounds that could be heard was silver lightly clinking on china. The occasional song-bird, or two. You all were enjoying the delicious food that Bill had prepared and by the end of the meal, your bellies were full.

The air was warm, peaceful and for a moment, it was all too easy for you to forget about the cordyceps, the end of the world, the loss you had endured. It was so easy when you were surrounded by friends, and your lover, who couldn’t take his eyes off of you. As more wine was poured, the laughter ensued as old stories of the past flowed past your soft lips with ease. Tess agreed that the Chicago Bean, was pretty fucking cool.

You felt so fucking loved. You could barely contain it.

When the plates were cleared, you all headed inside to help with the dishes and of course, crack open another bottle of wine. By the time that Bill had started a fire in the living room, you could already feel your cheeks getting flushed. A warm, fuzzy feeling washing over you.

Joel was at your side then, his arm lazily draped around your hip as you rested your head against his shoulder. He brought the rim of his own wine glass up to his lips and took a sip, a smile creeping over the delicate china.

Frank was already flipping through his many record albums while everyone else was getting comfortable on the two couches. He had decided on ‘A Man Without Love’ by Engelbert Humperdinck. You learned very quickly that Joel Miller was not a singer. Even a few glasses in, drunk on your love, he would not sing. Frank had pulled you up from the couch and twirled you around playfully while you both belted out the lyrics, “Every day I wake up, then I start to break up, lonely is a man without love. Every day I start out, then I cry my heart out, lonely is man without looooove!” You didn’t particularly have a grammy winning voice either but hell, you were having fun! Joel was enamored while he watched you over the rim of his glass. He loved to see you in these moments. When you let your hair down, you belly laughed, giggled and god, did you smile.

More wine was poured, more songs were played and as the sun began to set, the fire lowly crackled in the background, it was just you and Joel now. Frank had taken Tess and Bea out to the greenhouse to show the wonderful progress his plants had made. You were knackered from the singing and dancing as you plopped down next to your lover with a light giggle.

“You’re drunk, honey.” he looked over at you with a small grin.

“No, I'm happy Joel. I’m so fuckin happy. Okay, and a little drunk too. Just like a tad though.”

He leaned in, his face close to yours. “M’happy that you’re happy ‘darlin. You look beautiful. I love it when you smile. Warms me right up.” He whispered, reaching out and gently cupping your face in his warm palm.

“You’re happy too..right?”

“ m’so happy baby. You have no idea.” He admitted. This was only for you to hear. He was secretly thankful that your friends weren’t in the room. He wanted this moment to only be shared between you two.

“Good. I’m glad honey, you deserve it.”

Before he could answer, the record crackled, transitioning slowly to ‘The Last Waltz’

He surprised you then, reaching for your hand before he helped you up from the couch gently.

“Dance with me?”

“I never thought you’d ask, cowboy.” You took his hand then as he helped you up. You were a little unsteady on your feet, while his free hand was gently splayed across your lower back as he pulled you into chest, holding you as close as he physically could. Your hearts were practically intertwined as he slowly started to sway with you. Your fingers were interlocked between his other hand while you brought your freehand to his shoulder, playing with the worn fabric of his flannel gently. He dipped his head down slightly, his forehead resting against yours. His warm brown eyes, locked on yours. You continued to slowly sway, taking in this private moment as he whispered the lyrics lowly between you. His voice was warm, inviting, deep, and it settled within your bones. “I had the last waltz with you. Two lonely people together. I fell in love with you..the last waltz should last forever..”

He kissed you then. Closing the small gap between you finally. Neither of you pulled away as the record crackled, the song coming to an impending end. You continued to kiss him, tasting the sweet wine on his tongue. His breath hitching, his fingers tightening along the exposed sliver of skin of your lower back. You breathed him in, letting his kiss settle deep within your soul.

The moment had ended when you both heard someone clearing their throat. Joel had let out an annoyed grumble as he tore his lips from yours, looking over your shoulder at a smirking Frank, who was holding the game ‘Monopoly’

“Sorry to interrupt you lovebirds. Are you up for a friendly game of monopoly?”

Joel had opened his mouth to speak but before he could, you brought your finger against his lips and looked back at Frank with a sweet smile. “We would absolutely love to play.”

“Who is we–” you shot your lover a playful warning look and he returned it with a slight roll of his eyes.

“Yeah, sure we’d love to play.” He grumbled.

“Excellent!”

You slipped out of your lover's grasp, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before you grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the living room and into the kitchen.

You found out shortly after the game began, that Bill was an absolute sore loser. He was the first to be out of the game. He cursed out, throwing what was left of his money before he grabbed his gun, heading for the kitchen as he mumbled about how stupid this game really was. “Who the hell thought of inventing this stupid game? I hope they’re rolling in their grave right fuckin now!”

Everyone was trying to hide their laughter then. It was hard with the amount of wine that had been consumed already. As the game continued, Bill had returned shortly after his loss, with a fresh bottle of wine as he topped off his glass and plopped back down into his seat next to Frank. He had a grumpy look on his face, with his arms crossed against his chest. When Frank leaned over and gave him a little kiss on the cheek, his face softened for a moment.

The game continued on for hours. Frank was the next to lose. Joel had secretly slipped you a few of his extra bills under the table, shooting you a little wink as he leaned over and whispered “you’ll find a way to pay me back, sugar.” Which had you lightly swatting his arm for being the flirt that he was, but you loved it. You loved seeing Joel with his guard down, and enjoying the small joys that life had to offer. He looked so beautiful.

Bea and then Tess were the next to lose and soon it was just you and Joel, head to head. Battling to the death. Well, until one of you decides to give in. Your friends had all gone to bed a while ago. The candles on the dining room table were almost melted down completely. You weren’t even sure how much wine you had actually consumed, but by the looks of the empty bottles, you knew you had quite a lot to drink.

“Joel, baby. C’mon can you please surrender. It’s okay, you can admit that you lost like a big man.” You giggled. Your palm was resting along your chin as you looked at him, a drunk sleepy look gracing your features.

“C’mon, honey. We can finish this out. Don’t you wanna win fair and square?” He still had a half glass of wine in front of him and he couldn’t help but reach over and gently brush his thumb against your plush lower lip.

“Joel, I’m tired. Please? Let me win this my way.”

“The dirty way?”

“Nooo. The you’re gonna let me win because otherwise this game will never end, way. I think I will actually lose my mind more than I ever have if we have to keep playing.”

He leaned back against his chair, a smirk playing on his lips. “So, then go on and admit your defeat. Sooner you do, sooner we get to go to bed.”

“Who said anythin about me admitting MY defeat?”

He chuckled and reached for his wine glass, downing the rest of its contents before he set it back down. “You heard me.”

“You’re such an asshole man. Fine, I admit my defeat. If I weren’t so many glasses, excuse me, bottles in, then I would have won. I’m sure of it.”

“Mhm. You keep tellin yourself that ‘darlin.” He blew out what was left of the candles then before he pushed his chair back and slowly stood up.

“I’ll get you back for this Miller. Just you wait and see.” Your chair scraped quietly against the hardwood as you rose from your seat.

“Oh, I have no doubt in my mind that you will honey.”

You let Joel deal with the empty glasses and bottles on the table while you packed up the game, placing the board and all the pieces back into the box.

He let you go in front of him up the stairs. His hand was at your lower back, making sure you wouldn’t fall back when you nearly tripped up one of the steps with a quiet giggle.

Yeah, you were pretty drunk.

Once you were in your shared room for the night and the door softly closed, your arms were around his neck, your fingers playing with the soft strands of hair at the nape of his neck. “Baby..I’m really really drunk right now. Damn Frank and his wine but..I want you. Do you think we can?..” you whispered with a hiccup closely following.

“Honey..” he drawled, bringing his arms around you gently as he pulled you in close.

“We can’t. You’re drunk and I’ve had a bit as well. Plus, we don’t wanna wake anyone up..”

“We can be quiet.”

He gave you a look then. You and Joel did not know the definition of having a quiet fuck. It was pretty much impossible.

“Sugar, you know we can’t be quiet. Even though I wanna fuck you so bad right now honey, so fuckin bad. I gotta put my foot down, m’sorry.”

“Okay, fine. So we can’t fuck. How about..” you trailed off while your fingers slipped from his hair to his face, brushing your fingers against his strong jaw. “what if you were wrapped up in me, all night?..”

He raised his brow at your suggestion and his mouth went a little dry when he realized just exactly what your suggestion entailed.

“You want me to fall asleep, inside of you?”

“Please.” you begged. You were itching to feel him again. All of him.

“Fuck.” He whispered out. The wine was making his mind hazy and your words had him spinning.

“Please, Joel. I understand if you don’t wanna—”

“Shh. Of course I do. Fuck, of course I wanna bury myself inside of ya all goddamn night honey. You’re absolutely sure that’s what you want?”

“Yes. That’s what I really want right now Joel.”

He scooped you up into his arms in response. He carried you to the side of the bed and gently set you down before he reached for the hem of your shirt and gently started to lift it up.

“You wanna wear one of mine?” He already knew the answer.

“Always.”

He slowly lifted your shirt above your head before he reached down into his backpack that was alongside the bed and pulled out one of his spare shirts, slipping it down over your arms. Next, he gently shimmied your pants down your legs, leaning down and pressing a light kiss to your exposed hip bone.

“Can I take these off, sweetness? Or do you wanna keep ‘em on for now?” he rasped out.

“You can take them off baby, it’s fine.”

He slipped his thumb on either side of your panties before he slowly dragged the fabric over your hips, thighs and down your legs and ankles. He pressed another light kiss to your skin. This time it was your thigh.

You had reached for his flannel then and gently pushed it down his arms, tossing it to the side with your discarded clothes. He used his one hand to pull his shirt over his head, shaking his hair out a bit. Soon after, his jeans and boxers were discarded. You could feel the bed slowly dip from his weight as his arms reached around, settling comfortably around your waist as he pulled you flush against his chest.

His lips were at the shell of your ear, pressing a soft kiss just below as he whispered, “you let me know if you want me to slip out, okay? I don’t want ya to hesitate.”

You grabbed one of his hands then and brought it up to your lips, pressing a kiss to his palm before interlocking your fingers with his. “I know honey, I got you, you got me. It’s okay. Please, don’t make me beg you.”

“You got me, I got you.” He let out a puff of air against the back of your neck as he slipped his legs between yours. He let his free hand, that wasn’t grasped between your fingers, grab ahold of himself before he gently, and slowly slipped himself between your slick, warm folds.

It took every sheer ounce of willpower inside of him to not jut his hips into yours. He let out a low hiss, giving your hand a firm squeeze as he sank deeper, till he was at the hilt.

“This okay ‘darlin? Not uncomfortable or nothin?”

You felt so full at that moment. With him buried inside you like this. Holding you so close to his chest. It was perfect.

“This is perfect honey. Thank you. Are you good?” You had turned your head slightly to look over your shoulder at him.

“ m’good. This is nice. You feel amazin. So fuckin warm and tight—”

“Joel, baby. Please don’t start something that you know you can’t finish.”

He chuckled and let his head drop to the back of your neck, pressing another kiss there.

“Sorry, don’t wanna get carried away.”

“I know honey, this is torture, and at the same time, I’ve never been more content.”

“That’s one way to put it.” He chuckled.

He moved his hips just slightly as he got comfortable, sinking further into the soft mattress.

“I love you.” you whispered quietly. You were unsure if your confession was due to all the wine you consumed. Or if it was your sober thoughts, coming out in drunk words, or a mix of both.

“I love you, always.” He whispered back, tightening his hold around your waist, smiling against your soft skin when he felt your lips brush against his knuckles.

You and Joel slipped off into the dream world with ease. He stayed buried deep in your warmth, all night long. You never wanted him to leave. The closeness, intimacy, warmth you provided each-other so naturally. You wanted to keep him there forever.

How long could forever really last, when the dawn of a new day was always inevitable.

Chapter 13:

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