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wigwurq · 6 years

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WIG REVIEW: STRANGER THINGS 2

Unless you have been living under a rock for the last week, you already know that STRANGER THINGS SEASON 2 DROPPED AND OMGOMGOMGOMG!!!!1 It’s been a week and somehow the internet hasn’t imploded over this show so I guess it’s time to talk about the wigs. As with Twin Peaks, I’ll be reviewing each episode as I watch them and adjusting whether the season as a whole wurqs. Let’s get demogorg-going!

CHAPTER ONE : MADMAX

The Duffer Brothers live and breathe 80s nostalgia (obvs) so we open with a rando car chase in Pittsburgh because THE 80S (if the Duffer Bros really wanted to make this 80s accurate, it should have been Detroit or Chicago - THE DEMOGORGON IS IN THE DETAILS, isn’t it?) Anyway, some rando punk burglars are staging a getaway - with the help of some chick who is basically an older, more ethnic Elle. And she’s got a #008 tattooed on her arm. DUN DUN DUN.

Back in Hawkins, it’s a year after Will and Barb (RIP) got trapped in the Upside Down and everyone is doing JUST GREAT AND DON’T HAVE PTSD LET’S JUST LISTEN TO DEVO THANKYOUVERYMUCH. Oh and go to the arcade, where we meet our wiggiest non-wig in this dude eating cheetos and creepily demanding sister dates from Mike.

We also meet Winona Ryder’s new boyfriend, RUDY RUETTIGER (aka Sean Astin)! No wig, but dang HE LOVES MR. MOM AS MUCH AS ME. YES!

Speaking of Winona Ryder, girlfriend got a MUCH better wig than last season. I still don’t know why she needs to wear a wig at all, but I mean…sure? Clearly the wig budget is bigger than last season (if they can afford to license every song of the 80s to play during the episode, they can throw a few bucks at Joyce Byer’s mane, so amen).

Over at the high school, Nancy Wheeler got herself a haircut! She is clearly trying to channel some Jennifer Grey action but much like her body, this hair has no body (get this girl and this hair a sandwich).

Just sayin’…she should have had more of that KFC. Joe Keery’s epic hair remains flawless.

We are also introduced to the major wig of this episode (and likely, this season) in the form of a mulletted new bad boy, BILLY. I love that his name is Billy in a clear homage to Rob Lowe in St. Elmo’s Fire…but only time will tell if he can wail on a saxophone. This wig is…fine? It obviously looks like a wig so already that is a negative. Also I’m guessing everything about this guy is a negative.

Meanwhile, Nancy and Mike’s mom got herself a new ‘do! Welcome to the 80s, GIRLFRIEND! Bye bye Farrah waves, hello BANGS! Mama like. Damn fine wig. Still, why are you voting for Reagan (but of COURSE you are). BOO. #GeraldineFerraro4Ever

Meanwhile, Elle lives! But of course she does. And Millie Bobby Brown got herself a PERM just as the 80s intended.

And she’s living with Sheriff Hopper who took time out of his busy schedule of looking at “poisoned” pumpkins (which is clearly a job for Moana, duh) to take care of Elle. He got hisself a daughter and she got herself a dad! SOBBING.

CHAPTER TWO : TRICK OR TREAT, FREAK

It’s Halloweeeen and of course our favorite foursome dressed up as the Ghostbusters (and NO ONE WANTS TO BE WINSTON). Sadly, they go to the lamest school ever where no one else dresses up for Halloween. BOO indeed!

Will is still seeing some pretty effed up Upside Down visions but more scary: this poor kid had to have a bowl cut in the show and in life! This is the ultimate commitment to your art! Pure terror!

Rudy Reuttiger continues to be our favorite dad, fully committing to vampire hair and teeth and then slow dancing with Winona Ryder to “Islands in the Stream.” DREAMBOAT.

Meanwhile, Elle is getting cabin fever from watching Susan Lucci on TV all day and her hair is looking bigger and curlier than ever! Still, sorry you couldn’t go trick or treating, gurl.

Over at the most 80s teen Halloween party ever, new badboy Billy is suddenly a popular beer chugging sweaty bohunk (who listens to Ted Nugent - yep, this guy is the worst!) Also of course his new pal is dressed as the bad guy from The Karate Kid. 80s VILLAINS CONVERGE!

Meanwhile, Will’s older brother, a so-called purveyor of good musical taste, thinks this chick CLEARLY DRESSED AS SIOUXIE SIOUX is a member of KISS! BLASPHEME! YOU ARE DEAD TO US, JONATHAN!

Oh and Steve and Nancy OBVIOUSLY had a couple’s costume, and one of the most confusing ones EVER. It was confirmed to me later that they were Tom Cruise and Rebecca De Mornay from Risky Business (and not Johnny and June Carter Cash as I had suspected)…but if that is true this costume is AN EPIC FAILURE. Why isn’t Steve just wearing a white shirt and no pants? Why is Nancy’s hair all bouffanted out like June Carter Cash? WHY ISN’T SHE WEARING A BLONDE WIG?!?! WIG FAILURE x100000000. BOO ON YOUR HORRIBLE ATTEMPT AT A POP CULTURAL HALLOWEEN PARTY, DUFFER BROTHERS! THE DEMOGORGON IS IN THE DETAILS! BOO ON YOU!

CHAPTER THREE: THE POLLYWOG

Dustin found a new friend in a trashcan (where all the best friends come from!) and quickly decided that he has discovered a new species which DEFINITELY WON’T MESS ANYTHING UP. Kids, amiright?

Meanwhile, it should be mentioned that Dustin’s mom is played by Netflix MVP Catherine Curtain (our favorite former guard from OITNB). This lady loves cats as much as I do and knows her way around a good Midwest mom wig. Amen.

This episode also gives us some flashbacks to explain how Elle came to live with Hopper. And we get some flashback wigs! As with all men’s wigs, this one sucks. The texture is a nightmare and the back flips up with little assist from this shearling coat.

Elle is definitely getting cabin fever and busts out to see Mike, which she does in the very 5 minutes he happens to be talking to Max (isn’t it always the way?) then totally makes Max ruin her ollie in a jealous rage and hightails it out of there. We’ve all been there, gurl.

Speaking of Max, her awful brother Billy makes some mention of her not actually being his sister . Oh god. HES NOT HER DAD, RIGHT? UGH. Also he continues his reign as a new sweaty bohunk always as he plays mullet basketball with Steve (and of COURSE he’s ‘skins’ not shirts. UGH). Also if you’re gonna be an 80s villain, I guess you should be a pro-sports 80′s villain, right? The demogorgon is in the details (I have a quota to say this once during every episode recap).

Meanwhile, through the power of 80s home video consumerism, Winona Ryder and her slightly better season 2 wig realize that Will’s effed up Upside Down visions might be for reals (thanks, wax paper!) Oh, and thanks for the terrible advice to stand up to demogorgons, RUDY REUTIGGER.

CHAPTER FOUR: WILL THE WISE

Whilst trying to stand his ground against demogorgons, Will gets possessed by one (again, way to go, RUDY!) Winona Ryder’s season 2 wig got a wurqout trying to figure out what the eff is going on with suddenly coldblooded Will and his effed up vine illustrations.

Meanwhile, Nancy and her Jennifer Grey minus the body perm and Jonathan who apparently listens to the Clash (ugh) have staged a stakeout in the most effed up public park ever and it totally worked - bitches got hauled away to Hawkins Labs immediately! There, they totally got Paul Reiser on TAPE saying some shady shit. Side note: is this show just a big commercial for RadioShack?

Back at the high school, apparently the only class is SKINS VS SHIRTS and Billy is king! His horrible mullet wig got a shower which did nothing for it but did lead to some pretty fabulous homoerotic dialogue. Ooh la la. As always, the demogorgon’s in the details.

Billy’s dried off coif looks HORRIBLE IN BACKLIGHTING - major 80s hair fail. This wig blows. Also, NICE CANADIAN TUXEDO.

Oh and Billy is a complete racist who likes to control everything his sister (?) does. Continuing in the long tradition of 80s villains who are just evil for the sake of being evil, Billy joins their lexicon. What are his motivations? WHO KNOWS?! HE’S JUST LIVIN TO BE AN ASSHOLE. Similarly, I would totally approve of this dude playing the James Spader role in a remake of Pretty in Pink. ALSO I TAKE IT BACK: NEVER REMAKE PRETTY IN PINK, PLEASE.

In the end, Elle finds the secret file about her actual family and teleports to see her mama (SOBBING). And, as predicted, that pollywog Dustin found turns out to be a mini demogorgon who eats his cat. (DOUBLE SOBBING). I know y’all are still mourning Barb, but the death of Mews the cat might be the worst thing to ever happen on this show. RIP.

CHAPTER FIVE: DIG DUG

After Mew the cat’s tragic demise (known only to Dustin at this point), his mom continues her frenzied search for her beloved feline and her wig is as frazzled as she is. Still, Dustin’s mom is officially my favorite mom on this show not only because of her kitty love, but because she has a damn Mondale/Ferraro sign in her front lawn (and is apparently the only Hawkins resident not voting for Reagan). The demogorgon is as always in the details. #GeraldineFerraro4Ever

Speaking of demogorgons, note to self: don’t go investigating them in a creepy vine/tunnel by yourself because you’ll probably end up being trapped there alone.

Great work, Hooper.

Luckily Will’s art therapy home installation is about to get the cartographical analysis it needs from Rudy Reuttiger who is back in our good graces after his abysmally bad demogorgon advice.

Winona’s season 2 wig remains shook but hopeful.

There remains to be no hope for Billy’s mullet wig, which took a brief break from skins vs shirts to drive his sister (?) to the arcade where Lucas gave her the 411 on Hawkins’ demogorgon problem.

Speaking of truth quests, Nancy and her no-body perm is on one with the help of Jonathan and apparently their little road trip is so long that they had to spend the night in a hotel for the sole purpose of having this awkward “we’re not gonna do it” scene. Just drive through the night! You’re teenagers!

Speaking of road trips, Elle found her mama! Buuut her mama remains to be a catatonic shell of her former self as does her hair.

I guess if you’re catatonic, hair is the least of your problems, but this coif definitely needs some self-care.

We do get some flashback wig action, and apparently even after having her child stolen away during a Twilight Sleep delivery, Terry Ives was looking pretty fierce in the 70s!

Her sister, Becky, has a much bigger perm than last season and also a much bigger creepy factor. She doesn’t really question Elle’s sudden appearance or the faulty electrical work in her house, or Elle’s Poltergeist TV static communication skills. Maybe she’s just super trusting…or there is a Whatever Happened To Baby Jane? scenario afoot…

CHAPTER SIX : THE SPY

Good news: with the help of Rudy Reuttiger, Hopper got saved from the demogorgon tunnel! Bad news: Will is still possessed/his insides are burning/he has selective memory loss/he might be dying imminently. And Winona’s season 2 wig is PISSED ABOUT IT. She goes into full on Shirley MacLaine in Terms of Endearment mode and demands Hawkins Labs fix her son. Hey, you break it, you buy it.

Meanwhile, Nancy and Jonathan’s super unsexy roadtrip suddenly gets sexy with the help of….a rando crazy wall journalist, and ton of underage vodka drinking, and a bunker with a french-doored guest room. Beyond the inappropriateness of serving copious amounts of booze to teenagers, this creep/amateur Francis Ford Coppola impersonator also fully pimps out his pad for late-night teenage sexcapades. And the following morning has the nerve to ask Jonathan “how was the pull-out?” THIS LINE IS OFFICIALLY THE WORST THING TO HAPPEN ON THE SHOW. YUCK.

Meanwhile, Dustin has gone code red with the disappearance of his now huge pet demogorgon and the only person at his disposal to help is: Steve?!?! Sure. This is bromance is actually the perfect antidote to any Nancy/Jonathan romance grossness. Not only should these guys be bffff, but Steve shares his hair secrets with Dustin and they include Farrah Fawcett hairspray. The demogorgon is always in the details and this one is pure happiness. Never change, you guys and #TeamSteve ALL THE WAY.

Lucas finally gets the code red message and hightails it over to Max’s house for help. Max’s house is basically an extended weight gym for Billy who is pumping iron while blasting Ratt with no adult supervision in sight. ALL 80S VILLIAN STEREOTYPES CONVERGE. Also Billy’s mullet wig is getting sweatier and curlier by the episode but not any better as a wig. However, this week we get a glimpse of one dangly earring which confirms his homage to Billy in St. Elmo’s Fire. We still need for him to wail on a saxophone and make jokes about Mare Winningham’s underwear for the homage to be complete, however. Oh also, Max’s big family secret is: her parents are divorced! DUN DUN DUN.

Anyway, back at the old junkyard, Dustin, Steve, Max and Lucas spread around a ton of raw meat and gasoline and wait and see what happens (WHAT A PLAN!) Steve, the most popular guy in high school until that sweaty bohunk Billy showed up, seems unfazed by hanging out with two nerdy middle school guys and a “random girl” but does get a little too cocky when he breaks out of the bus to confront the demogorgons hisself. Also I’m pretty sure the Duffer Bros are trying to turn Steve into Michael J. Fox this season because he’s definitely wearing the same Nike shoes he does in Back to the Future and also OF COURSE THEY ARE. Also between Steve’s nail bat and Negan’s barbed wire bat on The Walking Dead, baseball is officially dead to me.

CHAPTER SEVEN: THE LOST SISTER

Our girl Elle who is now going by her birth name, Jane, explains to her weird Aunt Becky what she saw in her Poltergeist shapeshift into her mama’s subconscious and while weird Aunt Becky finally decides to call someone about the rando tween that showed up at her house, Elle/Jane stole some dough and booked it out of there in search of her “sister”, another stolen girl who was experimented on at Hawkins Lab. Cue your least favorite Bon Jovi song and some POV shots of Chicago at night and suddenly we’re in every 80s teen movie ever shot in a city (the city was always Chicago).

Just beyond that building from Adventures in Babysitting and some trashcan fires (the demogorgon is always in the details) she is reunited with her “sister” Kali who you might remember from Chapter One of this season and her gang of misfit PUNKS!!!!!!!!

Basically these randos are every stereotypical punk who was featured in 5 seconds-50 minutes of any 80s teen movie. White chick with a pseudo Cyndi Lauper ‘do, oversized bow and faux prep school look: CHECK! Kinda angry black chick still rockin’ a power ‘fro and 70s military duds: CHECK! Super angry white dude with an x-treme dyed mohawk, face piercings, dog collar, and a switchblade: CHECK! Looks angry black dude in black bomber coat described as a “teddy bear”: CHECK! Ethnic chick with tons of black eyeliner, asymmetrical half-shaved hair wearing an oversized coat, combat boots and fingerless gloves: CHECKCHECKCHECK! This is a perfect assemblage of PUNKS that would fit in perfectly at the most 80s punk party EVER. The Duffers outdid themselves here. As for wig quality? I mean….it’s about as good as the hair in that punk party link so I’ll give it an amen.

But what is the deal with these PUNKS anyway? Turns out that they’re not just stealin’ stuff to buy hair products and living in a cool warehouse that could easily double for the digs on any season of Real World. Led by Kali, they track down and murder former employees of Hawkins Lab (and also steal stuff - hair products ARE VERY EXPENSIVE!) Kali helps Elle/Jane tap into her rage so that she can move stuff and whatever. Here, Elle/Jane totally moved a big train for no reason! Way to go?

Most importantly, these PUNKS give Elle/Jane a PUNK MAKEOVER! Thanks to a gallon of black eyeliner and hair gel, a pop-collared oversized coat, french-cuffed jeans and white kicks, she magically transforms into Dave Vanian (lead singer for The Damned duh!) While she could easily use her newfound LEWK to front a cool band, she instead leads the PUNKS to one of the former labworker’s houses.

There, the sisters in their cool duds debate whether to let this dude live or die (Elle/Jane says nope after discovering the dude has some kids). And honestly, maybe y’all should just…go start a band instead? In the end, the cops bust in on the PUNKS’ digs and Elle/Jane buses it back to Hawkins.

The internet super hated this episode for a number of reasons: it’s pointless, it feels like one of those episodes where a popular show tries to incubate a spin-off of new characters (never to be seen again!), Elle/Jane is helped by her cool ethnic sister only to leave her behind, thus fulfilling the “magical negro” trope, her sister also helps her tap into her anger to better fuel her skills only to abandon them when it counts so all in all…it’s pointless. These are all valid points and I get it but I still liked this episode because any opportunity to enjoy silly 80s PUNK stereotypes is an hour well lived.

EPISODE EIGHT: THE MIND FLAYER

Back in Hawkins, the lab is undergoing a teeny weeny bit of trouble ever since Will’s shadow monster tricked everyone into letting all the demogorgons loose and basically everyone is maybe about to die. Winona Ryder’s season 2 wig is NOT ABOUT TO LET THAT HAPPEN so just like FIGURE IT OUT, PAUL REISER.

Paul Reiser does NOT really figure it out but Rudy Reuttiger is ON IT because he knows basic (in the computer sense that is). Pretty soon Rudy is realizing that admitting you know basic is like admitting you can type - DON’T DO IT OR YOU WILL PROBABLY BE KILLED BY A DEMOGORGON.

Bob is absolutely killed by a demogorgon (after saving everyone!), thus fulfilling the internet’s need for Bob to be the new Barb. #RipBob #RipBarb

Meanwhile, everyone’s least favorite skins vs shirts player, Billy, is gettin’ hisself ready for a hot date (who is the lucky lady????) He sprays some random hairspray on this disgusting mullet (definitely NOT Farrah Fawcett hairspray), sprays some cologne down his pants and he’s READY! This dude’s wig looks worse every single time I see it but I do have to throw some respect this character’s way for having a TANK poster in his room (the demogorgon is always in the details). Also why does every room in this house have a fireplace?

No time for questions! Billy’s dad is home and he is every 80s villain dad combined - an abusive, violent, terribly mustachioed monster. And now we get it! Villains beget villains; violence is learned at home. It’s all a cycle. Demogorgons, please kill this dude first.

Back at home, Winona Ryder’s season 2 wig is an EFFING MESS and so is she. Shadow monster, get out of Will already!

The only solution seems to be making a hostage barn for Will’s Shadow Monster and we learn two important things: interrogation lighting makes Will’s bowl cut look shiny and lustrous and also Will knows morse code! CLOSE THE GATE, Y’ALL!

WHO ON EARTH CAN CLOSE THE GATE?!?!?!

Oh, right: Elle/Jane. Duh.

CHAPTER NINE: THE GATE

Elle/Jane’s sudden appearance RIGHT AT THE PERFECT MOMENT leads to a bunch of mushy reunion hugs, all of which are delivered while Elle/Jane still has a bloody nose. If you really loved her, GIVE HER A DAMN TISSUE! Anyway, after everyone has a lot of FEELINGS, a plan is made: Elle/Jane and Hooper will go to the lab to close the gate and Winona Ryder’s season 2 wig will take Will and Jonathan to Hooper’s cabin to break Will’s Shadow Monster virus with all of the heat necessary. Sounds legit!

Steve, our new favorite character and sudden nice guy apologizes to Nancy and her new curly up-do for abandoning her drunken ass at the Halloween party and tells her to go to Hooper’s cabin with Jonathan. If this means more time for Steve and Dustin’s bromance, so be it!

Meanwhile, Nancy’s mom is taking some time out of her busy schedule of allowing her kids to disappear for days on end while she daydrinks white wine to have some ME TIME in a bubble bath reading a romance novel. Calgon, take me away! This up-do is even better than Nancy’s and the best Nancy’s mom’s wig has ever looked. Sadly, someone has the audacity to ring her doorbell just as she’s truly weewaxing and her good-for-nothing husband is out-cold sleeping in the study! UGH. WHO ON EARTH COULD BE AT THE DOOR?!

OOH-LA-LA! Don’t you love it when you’re reading about an oily bohunk and then one just shows up? And uses the dumbest line ever and asks if you’re Nancy’s sister, not mom?

I think Nancy’s mom got her groove back! Does this mean she’ll finally abandon her Reagan supporting, constantly napping older husband? Only time will tell but girl, your wig looks GOOD.

Thanks for the cookie, Nancy’s mom. Billy’s mullet still looks TERRIBLE.

Billy’s mullet then hightails it over to the Byers residence where he and Steve have a skins vs shirts rematch battle thus ensuring that Winona Ryder’s house is completely trashed at least once every season of this show. Steve puts up an admirable fight but he’s no match for Billy’s violent assholery. Also way to go doing nothing: Mike, Lucas and Dustin! The only one able to stop Billy is his sister (?) Max who sedates him with some of Will’s conveniently accessible sedatives and then threatens him with Steve’s nail bat. Max is the new Negan! All hail! Also Billy’s character never amounted to ANYTHING and we never got to see him wail on a sax so: missed opportunities all around.

Over at Hopper’s cabin, Winona’s season 2 wig is getting all kinds of swampy in the sweat lodge they’ve created to exorcise the shadow monster out of Will. What a MESS.

Meanwhile, Steve comes to in Billy’s car which is being driven by Max (and yes, we see the Indiana Jones reference, Duffer Bros!) and despite probably having a concussion from being wailed on by Billy, goes into the demogorgon vine tunnel to burn out some demodogs. This is where Stranger Things achieves peak Goonies status.

Anyway, back at Hawkins Lab, Paul Reiser is totally still alive (yay?) and Elle/Jane is able to harness her anger just like her sister helped her to do and close the damn gate. Now will someone PLEASE GET HER A TISSUE?!

A month later, it’s Christmastime (because just like now, the 80s skips straight from Halloween to Christmas). Everyone is doing GREAT YOU GUYS. Dustin’s mom got a new cat (Mews 2.0) and he got hisself some Farrah Fawcett hairspray! Can this show actually bring back this product? I feel like it has the power to do so.

Anyway, the hairspray of hairgod Steve transforms Dustin into THIS! YES! I have no idea why Steve drives Dustin to the Snow Ball but logic went out the window years ago with this show. I guess they just still have a bromance, which does warm my heart and #TeamSteve always.

Anyway, inside the Snow Ball, Lucas successfully dances with Max, who is wearing a striped velour shirt and burnt sienna corduroy PANTS to a semi-formal - ok gurl you officially won me over. Also some rando girl asks Will to dance and even though she calls him zombie boy, it’s nice.

Sadly, no one wants to dance with Dustin and his duckie shoes (officially best 80s movie reference - the demogorgon is always in the details). Dustin 4Ever and all you Hawkins Middle School girls can fall into the upside down for not wanting to dance with him!

Luckily, Nancy is inexplicably chaperoning the dance and comes to Dustin’s rescue. Her up-do HAS NEVER LOOKED BETTER! Her no-body perm FINALLY GETS BODY! HALLELUJ! Also just look at the meeting of these two hairdos. Magic.

In the end, Jane (who is officially Jane now because Paul Reiser gave Hooper some official birth certificates about it - vegetable mom be damned!) shows up to dance with Mike because OF COURSE SHE DOES. Her hair is sort of a gelled down combo of curly and sleek and...ok? All these Snow Ball hair lewks are wigless anyway since no one wants Billy’s mullet to chaperone anything. And it is because of this awful mullet and Winona’s season 2 wig that I have to say.....

VERDICT: DOESN’T WURQ

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newagesispage · 5 years

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APRIL 2019

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***** The Rolling Stones have cancelled their North American tour. Mick Jagger apologized for cancelling due to undisclosed medical treatments. Oh Baby, Get Well Soon!!!!

***** Mick and his squeeze, Melanie Hamrick have put together a ballet set to Stones music called Porte Rouge. After premiering in Russia it will come to NY on April 18 for an opening night charity event to benefit Youth America Grand Prix. Tickets start at $600.

***** Tina Fey and Carol Burnett are working on a movie about Carol’s book, Carrie and me: A Mother –Daughter love story.

***** When I hear Bernie Sanders going on, I can’t help but think of Jimmy Carter. He was pushing many of these messages in the seventies. He tried to get us to have more respect for the land and to save energy and the greedy wrote him off as boring and the era of greed took over. Will we listen this time?

***** The Mueller report was finally turned over to Attorney General William Barr. This has started a whole new set of problems. Barr gives us a summary that is like springtime for Trump. He jumps right in to those that done him wrong and FISA warrants. Should congress get a look at the full report? Everyone is talking over each other and don’t seem to hear what the other is saying. Everybody piles on Adam Schiff because they think he isn’t accepting the report like a good Dem should. If they would listen, he makes it very clear that he respects the findings but they need to see the report. How dare they ask HIM to resign as Intel committee chair. It was heartwarming to see his backbone. They must quit backing down. We still don’t have the whole story but he still free to say that he thinks the actions we already know of were wrong. What the hell is wrong with that? Barr is supposed to release the heavily redacted report in mid- April. No collusion? Perhaps, Scary Clown 45 would probably not get his hands dirty. Obstruction? We’ll see. ** Tyler Mcgaughey, William Barrs son in law will now advise Trump and the White House staff. ** I am really sick of listening to the old white man POV.

***** Dow chemical has donated a mil to Trump’s campaign. Strange that Trump has blocked a report that took years of research and shows proof of Dow toxic pesticides which jeopardizes over 1,200 endangered species.

***** US from Jordan Peele opened to 70.3 mil. Just like his last movie, critics tell us to watch it twice. How great for the bottom line.

***** John McCarty, a dead man is running for village President in Spring Bay, Il.

***** Look out for the new film, The Kid, directed by Vincent D’onofrio. The western stars Ethan Hawke, Chris Pratt, Hawk , D’onofrio , MorningStar Angeline and Leila George.

***** Did you ever see the reunion movie ‘Return to Green Acres? ‘ They tried to warn us of who Trump was a long time ago. How strange that it came full circle with that ridic Emmy Green Acres thing he did.

***** Shaq has become a deputy sheriff and has also been added to the board of directors of Papa John’s where he is an investor.

***** In sexual harassment news, Lucy Flores, a former Nevada assemblywoman has accused Joe Biden of unwanted touching and kissing at a 2014 campaign event.

***** Mark Hamill will voice the Chucky doll in the new Child’s Play.

***** Law and Order will get its 21st season.

***** The daytime Emmy noms have been announced and Days got the most this year. WOO HOO! The soap was nominated for drama, writing, costume, music, casting, art direction and oh, just everything. In the acting category the lead noms are Marci Miller, Tyler Christopher and Billy Flynn. Kate Mansi was noticed for a guest spot as Abigail so 2 actresses are up for Emmys in the same role. Other guest noms went to Thaao Penghlis and Philip Anthony Rodriguez. Kassie Depaiva, Linsey Godfrey (really?), Martha Madison, Greg Rikaart and Eric Martsolf were all nominated. Younger actor nods went to Olivia Rose Keegan, Lucas Adams, Victoria Konefal and Kyler Pettis. C’mon , why nothing for Lauren Koslow, Greg Vaughan, Casey Moss, Susan Seaforth Hayes and Robert Scott Wilson?? I think I would switch a few of these around but it is still great to see Days so blessed. I was also happy to see Max Gail from GH get noticed. CBS led the networks in noms. Hooray for Wayne Brady for game show host and Mark Hamill, Ruth Negga and Steve Buscemi in animated programs. Watch for the Daytime Emmys on May 5 which will not be on television again.

***** General Robert Neller has told the Pentagon that funds diverted to the wall are keeping Marines from rebuilding hurricane hit bases.

***** Devin Nunes is suing Twitter for the parody accounts, Devin Nunes Mom and Dvin Nunes cow which is pretty funny.

***** The EU is banning straw, cotton swabs and plastic cutlery by 2021.

***** Jenny McCarthy has a book out that slams The View.

***** Roseanne is thinking about suing ABC and has said some rather nasty stuff about Sara Gilbert.

***** Michael Avenatti was arrested for trying to extort $20 mil from Nike in NY. He claims he was just doing some lawyering. California has him on bank fraud charges. Why is there so much shadiness in this world? Let’s start rewarding the people doing good in this world and quit talking these headlines everyday.

***** Why did this Jussie Smollett thing go away?

***** Wal Mart is walking back this getting rid of the elderly and handicapped greeter thing.

***** Tracy Morgan and Will Forte are to star in the new animated Scooby Doo movie.

***** Johnny Depp has sued ex Amber Heard over the abuse allegations.

***** Martha Stewart is diving into the Marijuana product industry.

***** New York charges Manafort with 16 crimes. Perhaps he won’t get off as lightly with the state crimes.

***** Season 9 of American Horror Story has no premiere date yet. Emma Roberts is confirmed to return. It looks like it will also include Sarah Paulson, Evan Peters and silver medalist Gus Kenworthy.

***** New California Gov. Gavin Newsom has halted executions for now.

***** Dems will hold their convention in Milwaukee. And if I hear again that Hillary didn’t go to these sorts of places, I am gonna puke. She went! She went! Just not so much at the end.

***** Howard Stern will release his first book in 20 years this May.

***** Ok, so glad to see Whoopie Goldberg is starting to get back to work but it is just so unbelievable in this day and age and access to info that she seemed shocked that the insurance companies decide people’s fate. Of course, that is if you are lucky enough to have insurance.

***** Sandy Hook families can take lawsuits against the gun companies to court now.** Three suicides have recently come from survivors and a parent of Parkland and Sandy Hook. The pain goes on.

***** The Senate voted 59-41 to terminate the emergency declaration. VETO

***** Rick Singer, founder if a college prep business had pled guilty to money laundering, obstruction of justice and racketeering. The nationwide college entrance exam scandal involves about 50 people including Felicity Huffman and Lori Loughlin that dates back to 2011. People paid millions to use ringers to take or fix their children’s exams and sometimes faked photos with coaches to include them in sports they were never involved in. The U.S. attorney does not believe the schools themselves were involved. **Lawsuits have already begun from those claiming they could not get into a good college because those spots were taken by these alleged cheaters.

***** Jennifer Hudson will play Aretha Franklin in the biopic.

***** Experts say a recession is on the horizon.

***** Two Sacramento police officers will face no charges for their overkill of the unarmed Stephon Clark. Oh Big surprise!!

***** White supremacist groups on line are growing faster than ISIS. ** I never get it, if white supremacists are so supreme, so wonderful, wouldn’t they rise to the top naturally? Why do they need to rid the world of others or keep minorities down?? If they think others are so inferior, those they hate or fear should not be a problem .

***** Jeanine Pirro was pulled off Fox news after a racist rant about Muslims. ** And where is Rudy? The lawyer hasn’t been seen on the air since January. ** Is this true? Did Ivanka and Jared really try to resign? Did Scary Clown 45 try to push them into it and then not accept those resignations?

***** This can’t be true. Only 5 states have laws requiring patient consent for medical students to do vaginal exams on women under sedation.

***** I rarely think about Jay Leno but he was right about the late night comics all doing different versions of the same joke. But, who is he to talk? I mean how many different things did you do on OJ and Clinton?? At least these guys are funny.

***** The talk that people stay in their bubble becomes crystal clear when you see the poll asking if the President is truthful: Fox viewers : 84%, MSNBC viewers : 21% and CNN viewers: 1%. Whoa!

***** Word is that Scary Clown ordered economic advisor Gary Cohn to pressure the Justice Department to file a lawsuit to block the Att-Time Warner merger to retaliate against CNN.

***** At least 250 power plants across the country are leaking toxic chemicals into nearby water.

***** Jay Inslee is running for president! I think Stacey Abrams and Jay Inslee would be a nice ticket>

***** Beta O’Rourke is running for President! The psychedelic warlord!

***** Kristen Gillibrand is running for President!

***** Conor McGregor was arrested and charged with felony strong armed robbery and criminal mischief in Miami.

***** The process is in the works to get Trumps tax returns.** The house Judiciary committee has requested 81 documents.** This can’t be true. Trump was signing Bibles for volunteers and survivors in Alabama??

***** Just when it can’t get any weirder: Li Yang and her hubby, Zubin Gong run a string of massage parlors with questionable reputations. Until recently they ran the one that Robert Kraft was busted in. They also had a web site that seemed to sell access to their buddy, Donald Trump with Chinese business contacts. As soon as the story broke, the sites for an international consulting firm, text only in Chinese and no prices for the meets came down. Li Yang and her associates are in pictures at the inauguration, the White House, Mar A Lago and Trump’s super bowl party with the Pres, his sons and other Trump family members. We should have seen this coming. The old adage that always holds true with this administration seems true here. They always blame others for what they are really guilty of, this explains the Pizzagate garbage. This could be bigger than we ever dreamed. Even stories that we may have thought a bit out there need to be looked at closer. Can we connect the sex trafficking, the White House, the money? It is time to quit fucking around with the sellers and customers of those exploited in the sex trade. I don’t get it, all these men from Trump to R Kelly have the power over the women they supposedly use and abuse and yet they are always so angry. Perhaps they wouldn’t be losing their power if you treated others with respect and dignity. They always want all the power for themselves. And c’mon media, stop talking your heads off about the Omar story and give this Li Yang story a closer look.

***** The story of the fall of Theranos and Elizabeth Holmes is a sad one. It does show that greed and massive fraud are not just for the men of this world. When I first heard of her plans for the blood testing, I was so impressed with what she was accomplishing at her age. Yes, she was another poor little rich girl whose family fortune was quite diminished by the time it got to her. Even without the Fleischman yeast money, she did seem to have advantages. I can see how some of us were fooled but what about the big investors, the stalwart statesmen? Do they not remember that if it seems too good to be true, it probably is? How can all the hype, the press, the marketing snowball before there is any proof that something is what is actually supposed to be?? I always assumed that by the time I am hearing about it, things are about ready to go. Seeing all these stories like Trump and Deutsche bank, light sentences for Manafort and now Holmes and her partner in crime seeming to get off lightly, there is not much hope for the little guy. WHY can’t we hold those involved in big money crimes really responsible??

***** It’s true, rich people cause socialism – Neal Brennan.

***** Even in 1692 the rich were different. –Stacy Schiff- The Witches.

***** FEMA released the personal data of 2.3 million victims.

***** They have dug up old words from Fox’s Tucker Carlson. Big surprise that he seemed to empathize with Warren Jeffs, thought women should just shut up and called a woman “cunty.” The women who lap up the words of these men must not think much of themselves.

***** Why are we letting the banks finance detention centers and prisoners? It’s more than immigration or punishing criminals. Why is this big business?? I can’t believe this is still going on. Wake up!!! When will the children be free? C’mon House and Senate, Pass the Shut Down child prison camps bill.

***** Somebody has to pay for this President’s folly: The scary clown new budget cuts:$ 1.5 trillion from Medicaid/ $845 billion from Medicare/ &25 billion from Social Security.

***** About 1 rural hospital a month is shutting down due to lack of support and lack of funds.

***** Globalization seems to be spreading a pathogen killing the olive trees in Italy.

***** A fake Melania?? WTF? UGH!

***** Matthew Whitaker is out! Bill Shine is out!

***** When will we ever be able to buy the boxed set of Late Night with Dave?? Hurry so the next generation can see the genius they may have missed.

***** Pete Davidson and Kate Beckinsale??

***** Hey Bill Maher, way to go with your PETA message about the terrible treatment of the geese used to make Canada Goose down jackets. I will stay away!!

***** J Lo and A Rod are engaged.

***** Bette Midler and Judith Light will join the cast of The Politician.

***** Jussie Smollett has been indicted on 16 felony counts.

***** HBO’s Crashing was cancelled. Pete Holmes was great in this but I never really saw much promotion for it. I hate it when good stuff falls thru the cracks.

***** Kathy Griffin has a new film about the ridiculous Trump head, nearly career ending, Government harassment crap in her life. Kathy Griffin: A Hell of a story. Make that lemonade!! A girl has to take care of herself. It premiered at SXSW.** Speaking of SXSW, Alexandria Ocasio Cortez drew great crowds while she was there.

***** R Kelly lives in Trump tower in Chicago. Well, of course he does. Why is it ok for the rest of us to put up with these arrogant, abusive males in this society? Everyone is giving kudos to Gayle King for her calm demeanor in her interview. Yes, how professional of her but why should she be subject to that disrespect?? She is in her workplace. Would R Kelly have liked his Mother or daughter to be treated that way?

***** So, word is that Isaiah 45 is a Trump thing with the evangelicals. This scripture refers to Cyrus , the anointed one. OY!

***** Days alert: Robin Strasser is coming OH BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!** Judith Chapman and her old style soap acting just too much. ** C’mon Chloe and Rex!!** More Nurse Shelly!! ** Is Johnny Dimera on his way to town? ** I was so glad to see Tony, one of the best characters ever anywhere, even if it was part of an out of body experience.

***** Why do we have to keep talking about George and Kelly Ann Conway?? Are they just covering their bases? With one on each side of the Trump argument, they win no matter what happens right?

***** So now we know that about 400 Catholic clergy have been accused of sexual misconduct in Illinois. It never ends.

***** End the electoral college!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

***** S

***** Fox has hired Donna Brazile. People seem to finally be taking Bill Maher’s advice and telling their point of view to the other side. How else will sanity prevail if we don’t find common ground? We cannot look to this administration for guidance in this world, we have to figure these things out for ourselves, which we should be able to do anyway.

***** Suicide is the second leading cause of death for 15-24 year olds. We have to find our self- worth.

R.I.P. Andy Anderson, Katherine Helmond, Nathaniel Taylor, Luke Perry, Alabama tornado victims, Jan Michael Vincent, the Ethiopian airlines disaster victims, Hal Blaine, victims of the New Zealand Mosque shootings, Sydney Aiello, the Ogossogou village attack victims, Denise DuBarry, Larry Cohen, Jeremy Richman, Ray Sawyer, Tania Mallet and Nipsey Hussle.

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