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wangxiandecoded · 4 years

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Episode 5

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(Spoilers for the whole show ahead!)

Episode 5 is chock full of moments and fun romantic tropes that make it hard to believe this show passed the censorship.

Wei Ying has already taken Lan Zhan as his soulmate of many lifetimes and started confiding secrets in him. He gets dragged away to copy all the rules he broke but it’s ok Wei Ying, Lan Zhan has to notice the undeniable chemistry you share at some point.

The Yiling Patriarch Invented Gay Pining

The sheer amount of pining in this scene.. How did he not burn a hole through the library?

Guy takes a break from admiring the beauty of his crush, starts admiring his calligraphy instead.

The Many Names Wei Ying Calls Him

Calling your beloved by his every name to get his attention. Success! He responds to the name with intimate connotations. But oh no! He actually looked at you! What do you do now? Head empty. Quick! Ask him why he’s ignoring you and subtly remind him that he has the right to express his anger by using your formal name for completely logical reasons.

I understand Wei Ying's feelings, it must be maddening to meet the love of your life and want to skip to the domestic stages of romance, when he still considers you an unruly stranger who has no business with him.

Can we take a second to appreciate what a pure soul Wei Ying is for wanting to constantly do better and learn what he did for Lan Zhan to hate him so much? He apologizes not once but repeatedly for breaking the rules and assures Lan Zhan he would never attack him with the intention to harm. (Wei Ying sweetie, you did nothing wrong, he just isn't ready to admit you're melting his heart.)

All he wants is your attention. Just spare him some him, Lan Zhan! I have no clue how someone can say no to Wei Ying when he’s being this cute. Lan Zhan’s self-restraint must really be something else.

This line and Wei Ying's gay ass smile is so damning. I do not know how some Chinese censor officials did not have conniptions over this.. were they too blinded by heteronormativity, perhaps? Even Lan Zhan has had enough and charms him into silence.

Looking At Him When He’s Not Looking

Looking at your bro when you think he isn't aware you're looking at him, but he's actually painting a portrait of you when you aren't looking at him. I’m done with these idiots.

Wei Ying's heartfelt apology is obvious to us but Lan Zhan's definition of sincerity is abiding by the rules, which Wei Ying gives into for him, with a lot of effort. If that’s not love, what is?

More pining. Wei Ying makes one last attempt at wooing Lan Zhan for the day by giving him a parting gift. (For what exactly? Monitoring him while he carried out his punishment? Love is so irrational, y’all.)

The last touch he gives to Lan Zhan's portrait is adding a flower to his forehead ribbon. This is how Wei Ying really sees Lan Zhan - not as the intimidating Lan Wangji from Gusu Lan clan, but the guy he finds cute when he's lost in concentration. It pains me to see Wei Ying do so much to win his heart.

Lan Zhan Thinks Everything Wei Ying Does Is “Boring”

Wei Ying asks him to say something other than “boring” for a change and this is his reply. What makes their relationship so captivating is their contrasting personalities. Every time Lan Zhan thinks Wei Ying is being ridiculous and goes, “Boring,” I think he actually finds Wei Ying kind of amazing and that’s annoying because it is nothing but a hindrance to the way of life expected from him. It is boring and ridiculous to Lan Zhan that he is starting to get used to Wei Ying’s presence in his life. It is boring that he’s beginning to notice and personally care for a single person instead of the world. It is boring how someone is breaking the seamless silence Lan Zhan has spent most his life wrapped up in and suddenly making it overflow with words - words he does not vocalize but Wei Ying hears anyway. That’s what finding the right person feels like, after all. So it is boring that Wei Ying, with his stupid grin, is so close to coming into his life, throwing out the worldly matters Lan Zhan is supposed to be devoted to and asking him, “Lan Zhan, isn’t it funny that I’m your worldly matter now?”

I guess Wei Ying does get his wish in the end. Lan Zhan erupts and calls him "Wei Ying" for the first time ever because he made him open an erotic book, more specifically one that features explicit gay art. The production team is so slick, I felt giddy the first time I saw this. But still, I don’t think Lan Zhan was being fair, I’m sure he broke a rule that said it’s a great offense to reject someone’s gift.

Lan Zhan strikes me as a closeted baby gay raised on ascetic principles, and Wei Ying’s confident chaotic bi energy is predictably sending his poor world for a toss. No wonder he was ready to duel it out with him. What are the implications of this, Wei Ying? You showed a Lan clan member gay erotic art and assured him there is absolutely nothing wrong in enjoying it. Do you want to kill him?

And remember Wei Ying got this book from Nie Huaisang who has also been queer-coded. After a point, you lose sight of how many characters seem hella gay on this show.

Nonetheless, it is impressive that there is someone who can make the disciplined, detached Hanguang-Jun lose his calm and even get him to swear. Of course it ends up being something for Wei Ying to brag about later. It is indeed an accomplishment that few people can claim as their own.

Can We Buy An Island For Our President Zewu Jun?

Zewu Jun is not even being subtle here. Why is he smiling? Seriously, why?! The fact that his brother called this guy by his formal name which can be used only by people you're close to? The fact that he followed Wei Ying to the secluded part of the Cloud Recesses? Or because he was unable to find the real person since he's fixated on Wei Ying? Knowing our President, it's probably all of the above.

The show's clever usage of Zewu Jun as the emotional compass who points precisely to what Lan Zhan feels is definitely one of my favorite things. We see that Lan Zhan often says one thing about Wei Ying but means another and Zewu Jun is the stand-in for the audience who knows the truth.

We can see the contrast of a speechless Lan Zhan when Zewu Jun confronts him about wanting Wei Ying's company versus the facade he puts on when actually in Wei Ying's company. That's it for today's analysis, folks.

The Aqua Demon Hunt Is The First Testament To Their Chemistry

Wangxian end up sharing a room. (Do we have the President to thank for that?) Lan Zhan being all "Time for me to go meditate in solitude" and Wei Ying being ".... about how we belong together!"

Rewatching these scenes is definitely bad for my heart. The unconcealed disappointment on Wei Ying's face when Lan Zhan turns down his bet to prove their like-mindedness really sends. (Is this the ancient equivalent of a love calculator, Wei Ying? How did the Yiling Patriarch never invent a device like that, I wonder.)

Lan Zhan, did he really deserve this? He just wants to show you what an incredible, unmatchable team you both will make! And he is so good at reading your mind.

Just smiling at the fact that your bro exists for no apparent reason in middle of a hunt. Wei Ying sure has his priorities straight, even if nothing else in his life is.

Wangxian Are The Dream Team

Wei Ying distracting the water ghost and saving Lan Zhan at the same time so effortlessly? A stroke of admirable genius! I probably need to start a separate post to keep track of all the times Wangxian's teamwork puts everyone else to shame. Notice how every time Lan Zhan said "boring" in this episode, it was directed only at Wei Ying’s romantic gestures.

It's that little shoulder bump that screams "I'm sorry I splashed water at you, I did out of my love for you, okay?"

I'm sorry Wei Ying, he just needs more time to process the fact that you are the unrivalled candidate for a cultivation partner he has ever come across. And if you ever get confused why Zewu Jun is mysteriously smiling at various points in the show, it's probably a "My brother is falling in love, good for him, good for him" smile.

Wei Ying’s little head tilt after they both defeat the water ghost that came for their boat that says, “See? We belong together.”

When Lan Zhan learns why Suibian is called so and thinks, "My crush is a fucking idiot, love that for me.“

Wei Ying always understands what Lan Zhan is thinking or wants to say without him having said a word. Soulmates.

Thank you water ghosts for ensuring they both end up on the same boat and giving them the chance to display their spectacular synchronization. Maybe it’ll help Lan Zhan wake up.

I rejoice every time there is a juxtaposition of Wangxian with the straight couples because it proves our main characters are travelling the same romantic arc the others are.

Saving Him For The First Time

Lan Zhan rescues Wei Ying in the nick of time! Sure, that’s the Right Thing to do but do you see his expression? That’s unbridled shock that Wei Ying is going to die. And the matter of utmost importance to Wei Ying in this life-or-death situation is the fact that Lan Zhan isn't holding his hand after the "intimate" experiences they’ve shared. I cannot.

Ok Lan Zhan.. You don't touch people.. Let’s see who the exception is. But honestly we get it, just swooping in to save him was a lot to handle, holding his hand would have been a gay apocalypse on your heart.

Wei Ying Is Growing On Lan Zhan

Lan Zhan finally admits Wei Ying could be right, because annoying as he is, his deductions are brilliant.

We learn Lan Zhan is secretly craving loqauts but throws it back when Wei Ying gives him one. Zewu Jun offers to buy loquats for Lan Zhan, again hinting at his repressed feelings for Wei Ying.

When we hear a vendor selling Emperor's Smile, do we see Lan Zhan's anti-Wei Ying persona begin to crack or am I seeing things?

The episode ends with someone (Wei Ying) taking two bottles of Emperor's Smile and paying for it. Whatever happens, Wei Ying is going to sneak his misconduct into the Cloud Recesses and his way into Lan Zhan’s unfaltering heart.

All in all, this was an episode that opened the possibility of Lan Zhan maybe starting to accept that Wei Ying is a nuisance he likes having around. At the very least, he wants to live in a world where Wei Ying is alive and being his unbelievable self. He’s a man of few words and many micro expressions so that’s why it’s so golden on the rare occasions he does slip up and show that he cares about Wei Ying, like saving him in this episode. His actions speak louder than his words, and they ring louder still as show progresses and he becomes the main line of defense between Wei Ying and anyone who so much as thinks about harming him.

Episode 5 drives it home that Wangxian have chemistry that is to be envied and worth investing in. We get the sense that these two are going to be together for a long ass time.

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ginnyzero · 4 years

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Writing Breathable Moments; What/Why

I’ve mentioned “breathable/ma/quiet” moments in the past and how the Dawn Warrior has very little of them and the Lone Prospect is chock full of them. But I don’t believe I’ve ever explained what that means.

So, what are “breathable/ma/quiet” moments? Is it anything like breathable cotton?

No. Not really.

Breathable moments in your manuscript are moments of rest for the reader. In the Japanese, this is called “ma.” Miyazaki explains these moments as being extra. They are the rests between action. It’s the backgrounds, the sighs, the little moments in time between beats in the story that convey time, space and who the character is.

Not everyone is a fan of these types of moments. They feel that the ‘breathing’ room in the story slows it down and delays the action. That these scenes have no purpose and need to be cut out entirely. This is a very Western and very modern contemporary type of thinking where everything is about speed and the bottom line and cutting things “to the bone.”

Books of all types have been reduced to pulp fiction penny dreadfuls rather than Dumas or Dickens who were paid by the word and so they really bloated their works to get more money. Then there is the High Fantasy Tolkien approach where the breathable space in the story is Tolkien either giving backstory like in the Ents or describing massive amounts of scenery. Or, there is the Brian Jacques approach where breathable moments are describing epic feasts and putting in funny songs.

Whether or not you find these moments of rest important really depends on your style of writing. How much do you care about character and relationship development? How much do you care about relaying the background and history of your world? How important is describing the setting of your story? Is there something going on in the culture of your people that’s important enough to show it rather than to summarize it?

Because breathable moments, the quiet moments are about showing the intimate details of your characters, your setting, and your world building. Depending on what your goal is for your story is going to necessitate whether or not you have these breathable moments in your work.

Tolkien was trying to write a history. He wasn’t telling an adventure tale. He was relaying/translating a historical document. It was important to him to tell the history of the world, of the Ents, and to expound upon the landscapes. Whereas, his contemporary, Lewis was writing an allegory for children about the Christian life. To him, the story was more important than the details and history of the world. So much so, that he only included tiny bits of history that were important in the Lion, Witch, and the Wardrobe. It was only later in other books that we found out more about, say Jadis, and where she came from.

Are you a Tolkien or are you a Lewis?

Both types of storytelling are valid! It’s up to you as an author to decide how fast you want the action beats to proceed. Your story can be tight and fast and like an action movie in words. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Or your story can still be tight but punctuated with moments for viewers to relax. This could be more drama or art house or well, Spirited Away. Bang. Pause. Bang. Long Breathe. Bang. Bang. Pause. Bang. Bang. Bang. End. Or, the plot of your story can be conveyed with mostly breathable moments leading up to the final action. This is more maybe an adventure story or a thriller story type of set up. Maybe even horror.

Let me use different Urban Fantasy writers as examples. Kim Harrison and Patty Briggs have very little breathing room in their books. Patty Briggs writes books at about 110K words and Kim Harrison’s Hollow Series clocked in between 150K and 165K words. Kim Harrison usually put her biggest breathing moments at end of the book. Patty has a bad habit of even turning dates into major action sequences and cuts off any breathing before it really begins. Breathing room is more like a punch line. Most urban fantasy writers including Seanan Maguire, Faith Hunter, Jennifer Estep and Cassie Alexander all fall into the category (plus a few others I’ve read.) We are told these characters have friends and hobbies and lives outside of their job, but we’re never really given a chance to see them do more than ‘finger their shell collection.’ (I think that’s a Cat Adams example.) We “know” the characters, but at the same time, we don’t because we’re never given that breathing space where they aren’t about to be pushed off the edge of a volcano all the time. It’s all quips and punches but no long walks on the beach and banter with their friends.

Jim Butcher puts a moderate amount of breathing room in his books. Whether or not this is a good thing is debatable. Harry Dresden’s investigations don’t always involve a lot of explosions right off the bat. He is a private eye and this does involve some tedious things like “talking to people.” Harry isn’t completely without friends. He just tends to avoid them for months at a time until he’s got three days to save the world and then suddenly he needs them again. But at least we know that Harry walks his dog and spends time playing DnD with the Werewolves. Because we see it. Laurell K. Hamilton also has a moderate amount of breathing room in her books. Most of it is taken up with sex! Rachel Caine is also a good example. Occasionally, she drives her car real fast, manages to get a tan, and goes shopping.

The urban fantasy/dark fantasy writer with the most breathing room that I’ve read is Anne Bishop. Anne Bishop makes the characters and their relationships the heart of her story and the plot is moved forward more by what the characters do rather than outside forces acting whether the characters like it or not. For instance, in the Others series, the main character runs away and the villains are trying to reclaim her. She is learning how to live life as a normal person and hold down a job interacting with species that are in no way human. And these non-human creatures (who can look human) do everything they can to protect her and that is the story. So, there are long stretches of the book that is her learning her limits and how to do things like drive a golf cart. The characters and the culture is what makes the story enthralling. (And, yeah, you don’t want her to go back to the villains either. You’re rooting for her to remain free.)

You as a reader or writer have to decide what category you fit into. I’m more of a Jim Butcher/Anne Bishop preference type of reader/writer. I liked Kim Harrison well enough because there was enough words put into the book that I could sink my teeth into the world even if there wasn’t a lot of quiet moments. It was the fact the character never seemed to learn anything and became super special important that put me off The Hollows Series.

Now, back to my own books. In the Dawn Series, there isn’t a lot of breathable moments. I have Roxana and Marcellus go on a date. There is some teasing all around and at the end I have a wedding because there has to be a wedding. (Is it Roxana and Marcellus? I’m not telling you!) But honestly, the book goes from one action beat to the next with very little pause. It’s not a history. It’s an adventure story about a Princess trying to evade her curse. It doesn’t need a lot of history or explaining or paragraphs of ogling the scenery. None of that is important.

On the other hand, Tales of the Heaven’s Heathens MC, while not a history, I’m trying to write about a culture. It’s a mix of biker culture and in this case werewolf culture. I created a werewolf society that lives within the veil hiding from the greater human society. They don’t necessarily think like humans or act like humans completely. I want to show this instead of telling it. The characters also take jobs, security jobs, and they can either step aside and let things happen or they can take action doing something about it. The books are very character driven in this aspect.

For instance, in the upcoming book, I have a chapter or so where Savannah takes Gideon shopping. Now, I could just say that Gideon hates clothes shopping and be done with it. But Jasper is “special” and they don’t have department stores, so Savannah is being nice and taking him to where he needs to go to buy clothes. But that’s still not the point of the scene, the point of the scene is to compare and contrast Savannah and Gideon and their werewolf states of mind. I want to show the difference in how they’re handling being attracted to each other and resisting it. It’s part of the romance aspect of the book.

But for many people, many writers that type of scene would be redundant and be edited out because it has nothing to do with the main story of smugglers invading the Heathen’s territory. I agree. It doesn’t have much to do with that at all, except getting Gideon to look like a villain in leather pants.

Sometimes a girl just needs a boy to be in leather pants.

To me, the meat of the story in Heathen’s isn’t the explosions. It’s not the gun fights or car chases. It’s the people. It’s the families. It’s showing the relationships and how they work together for the good of the pack while still managing to have disagreements. (And it’s not as easy to write as you’d think because I’m going against years of ingrained prejudices about emotional labor. And I’m not a werewolf, I’m a human. I have to reorient my thoughts.)

It's also set in a future where the world has been reshaped by a war. The town they live in was built after the war to very specific codes. Eventually, we'll go to a huge city and I'll describe that too. That's breathable moments.

There are lots of readers (and publishers and agents) that really love books that are 100% action all of the time. They want books that are plot driven where the character is an afterthought rather than the instigator of the action. Which is fine. I get it. At the same time, there are those readers who like authors like Butcher and Bishop who put more ‘breathing’ space into their works. I think there is plenty of room for both.

#writing advice #writing tips #breathable moments #writing tumblr #writer tumblr #writrblr

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heart-karisoo · 6 years

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sEX tOy

C H A P T E R F O U R

Chapters: prologue, one, two.1, two.2, two.3, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen. [finished]

EXO’s sEX prOfile

Wu!’s sEX prOfile

Your sEX prOfile

A/N: This chapter might be very rough but hasn’t chapter two.2 been rough too? lmao just you’ll see.. Also, i’m sorry for pairing these two fuckers together all the time; i’m just a Chansoo biast bitch is all.

P.S. There is some sad-ish angst for some reason bc I felt like it and I want the reader to be more intimate with the members rather it just all being cold hearted fucking. thank you!

Pairing: Chanyeol x reader & Kyungsoo x reader

Genre: smut with some ‘’angst’’???

Rating: M (Mature, 17+)

Warnings: Swearing. sexual content, agressive Kyungsoo

Kinks: Maledom, toy(s), public?, humiliation, spanking & the slightest bit of height/size reference in like the very last sentence lmao..

Concept: An alternative universe where big idols can secretly hire so called ‘’sex toys’’ for their personal pleasure. You (fem!reader) are hired by EXO to please them as they wish.

Word count: 4,4K

I was woken up early by the boys as they had schedules that I had to attend as their ‘assistant’. Today was their music video shooting for their first come back of the year. We were picked up by their managers who drove us to the location. It was a hectic scene as there were staff running around everywhere. People checking lights, stylists running after the members as they had to follow instructions from the director around the set. Managers re-checking concepts and scripts to make sure their idols would have a good image. I felt anxious just looking at it. As I sighed deeply I sat down at one of the tables scattered around in this big room. It was tiring to wake up this early and the thought that they had been doing this for five years straight was horrendous. And I still didn’t hear them complain. “M-m'am” a small voice standing in front of me called out. I turned my head expecting one of the staff members but I was surprised to see Baekhyun’s timed figure. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. “Yes, Baekhyun” I yawned in response. “I.. Uh.. I need to use the bathroom” he was clearly sweating as he spoke. And I knew what he was indicating as the chastity belt he was wearing didn’t allow him to use the bathroom properly. I leaned back and looked at him unbothered. “Keep it in till tonight, okay?” I smiled teasingly. “B-but I really need to-” before he could finish his sentence a make-up staff walked up to him to fix his now sweat ruined make-up. “Aish, Baekhyun-ah! Why are you sweating so much?!” She dragged him with her to touch it up as I waved him a goodbye. Not long after he left I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around to face another staff member. “Miss, one of the EXO members has requested to see you.” The lady smiled. I followed her to their dressing room where it felt even more chaotic than the set. She led me to the member and then walked away again. This member happened to be Kyungsoo and to my habit, as this is part of my job, I looked down. Kyungsoo happened to have one of the most prominent boners I had ever seen right now. Even if you weren’t looking for it, you would clearly notice the bulge in his jeans. The fact that they were baggy didn’t help his subtlety either. As he had seen me approach him I became nervous with each step I took. Kyungsoo had a timed and professionally calm nature. He never had a boner in public. In fact, as long as I have worked for them, no one has gotten a boner in any form of public setting. But why now and why him? I could not stay quiet if it was him. “I need to take use of your serves.” He spoke in a monotone, his eyes narrow and dark. His expression cold. I gulped. I froze. I didn’t know what to do. His words were clearly pointing out my real job for the ones who knew but were subtle enough for the ones who didn’t. ‘’C-could we dis-cuss about that in a m-more private room?“ I stammered. With his eyes boring through mine he spoke. “Sure” So simple, still so frightening. He led me with him to a conversation room, it was more isolated and there were no camera’s due to privacy policies. When I walked in he closed the door behind me and locked it. “L-look, Kyungsoo..” I tried to get the courage to speak. “You guys are m-mid shooting and it’s going to ruin your clothes and-” he cut me off with clearing his throat loudly, he sat down on one of the chairs with his legs spread as he rested his elbows on his knees. Still not saying anything he glared at me through his eyelashes. Too afraid to move I stood there, in front of him, not daring to speak any further. I didn’t clearly know why I was so anxious. It was Kyungsoo, Doh Kyungsoo. The shy guy that would hate it when you called him cute but would get flustered when you did anyway. The guy who politely and perfectly bowed 90 degrees down for everyone to show his upmost respect. How could you be scared of him? “I know it is unprofessional to take use of your serves right now. It’s risky and stupid. But that’s not why I asked for your time.” His words were so carefully chosen. He seemed so collected once again; a purely intimidating figure. One of those high standard businessmen that could ruin you by the snap of his fingers. “Why I asked for your time is because I wanted to discuss something with you, my little pet” he nudged his head, motioning for me to sit down. I obeyed his silent order and took a seat opposite him. “Tonight, I want to take my time with you. Try new things, see what you like and what you don’t. if you are comfortable, that is..” I could tell he was trying to not slip into his domspace. At least not now. It seemed he was trying to come off less strict and controlling. He wasn’t able to go all out now anyway. “I know I could be discussing this with you tonight, at the dorm. But I need to know in advance so I can prepare” the word ‘prepare’ pulled at my nerves. Why would he need to prepare? “Are you following me so far?” I nodded my head carefully at his words. He moved his chair closer to mine for a better conversational setting. His eyes once again boring through my brain and scanning all my sensitive areas. “I need you to be fully aware of what you get yourself into, understood?” I nodded. “Tell me if you don’t want to do a certain thing, okay?” I nodded again. Then he reached for his pocket and got out a piece of paper. He unfolded it and straightened it out onto the table. “This is a list of all the things I want to do, kitten. We won’t be doing all of them tonight, but with time..” His strict character started to subtract slowly. I glanced at the paper briefly; it was pretty long. “Remove some that you truly do not feel comfortable with and i’ll see what i’ll do as alternative. You can add anything you like, those will be your occasional rewards. IF you behave” his gaze was dark once more. I gulped before I took hold of the paper and looked over it carefully.

Chocking

Pain

Blindfold

Denial

Anal [+ enema]

Voyeurism

Watersports

Pet play

Hot candle wax

Over stimulation

Roleplay

Cumplay

Some of these I recognized already from his profile, but it seemed he gained interest in some new ones as well. I didn’t find any of them too much but did feel a bit uneasy with some that I had never tried before or wasn’t trained in. I took a deep breath and then turned my vision back to Kyungsoo. He was scanning my face intensively; surely looking for any kin of reaction. “W-we can try some..” I spoke quietly. “But I d-don’t think all of them-” “I know we can’t do all of them tonight. But we will eventually.” He cut me off harshly, obviously inpatient to my stammering speech. I gulped once again at his strong character before nervously cutting off eye contact and staring at the paper again. “Add some things you want to do” he spoke suddenly. “If you’re good, I will reward you those. Depending on what it is you want. If you are really good, I will reward you the ones I don’t usually allow” Thinking about his words there were many things I wanted to do to him and many things I wanted him to do to me. The click of a pen got my attention as I turned my head he had placed a pen on the table for me to use.

REWARDS

You let me ride you face

You let me use a vibrator

You let me touch myself

I can touch you

You make me cum without denial

You let me peg you

I dominate you for one full night

Anxious to return him the paper I looked it over once more before placing it on the table. He took it and read it over. Afraid to look at him but still wanting to see his reaction I glanced at him slightly. His face was hard to read, like always. I could notice slight twitches at certain words but that’s all I received. Once finished he folded the paper and returned it to his pocket. He cleared his throat once again before speaking. “I will need to discuss some of the rewards you have chosen; but we do not have time for this now. I’ll see you tonight in my room at six” then he got up and left. I stayed in my chair for a moment. Still baffled at what just happened. The fact that he wanted this planned out and probably for it to go perfect raised my nerves. What if I made a mistake? He’d punish me. But what if I couldn’t take it? Then why didn’t I say something?! Not wanting to think about it too much, I left the room and returned to the set. They had started recording again and it seemed to be turning out well. They had an amazing group shot which looked just perfect on the monitors. As their “assistant” I had not many tasks to do on shooting days, unless they decided to ask for coffee’s and such. But even so, they had their personal assistants to do so for them. As I was more considered the whole group’s “assistant”, I was more in charge of schedule holding of them as EXO. Knowing when they had interviews and making sure their managers would be around and know when and where they had shoots, etc. If they had separate schedules I would be either attending the bigger part of the group or not attending at all. Unless EXO requested so themselves.

It was a long day of shooting and I had barely anything to do besides sit around and look at the hectic scene of making pure perfection. The shooting came to an end soon as they had enough footage for the video. They wrapped up and everyone greeted each other and said their goodbye’s before we left. We drove home together in a SUV the managers provided. As soon home I was dragged by my arms by Chanyeol. “Yeol! Yah! What is this about?!” I exclaimed as we entered his room. “Take your pants off, and those panties as well” his demand went straight to my core. I complied and unzipped my jeans. As I did so I watched him fidget around in his night stand looking for something. As soon as I was done undressing my lower half he had found the thing he was looking for. As he turned around he kept the unknown object behind his back with a grin. “Lay on the bed, my little one” he spoke deviously. I did so and he spread my legs apart. “Ch-Chanyeol, what is this about?” I stammered, trying to prep myself up with my elbows while looking at him between my legs. “Still not in your role, I see?” He said before hitting my core with his hand. I flinched at the sudden feeling and moaned. “From this moment on, until I tell you otherwise, you will address me as 'sir’ and nothing else. Understood?” His sudden change of character made me anxious to his actions. I nodded my head in response but this is not what he wanted.

“Use words, slut."

"Y-yes, sir”

“Good.."

Then he revealed the object. A vibrating buttplug. I gulped at the sight but knew not to reject. He reached for lube and placed some on the item; smearing it out before pushing it into my tight entrance. I moaned and cried at the stretching feeling but was forced to keep my legs open. Once it was fully in he tapped it for extra effect, just for his own fun. "Good girl~” he said in a rumbling tone. “Now put your clothes back on, we’re going grocery shopping!” My eyes nearly fell out of my sockets when those words left his lips. I jumped up but regretted it instantly as the plug was pushed in deeper at my movement. Another moan came from my mouth as a evil chuckle came from his. Without further fighting back I obeyed to his little game he wanted to play and we were off to the grocery shop. Like promised, Chanyeol was wearing his mask and walked mainly behind me. This did not help one bit as he towered over me by at least a full head. But this did not hold back his naive action. We weren/t looking for too much as the boys were already preparing for their up coming tour as soon as they had their comeback. “It’s pretty empty so we can split up. You just go walk around over there while looking for some items okay?” Chanyeol pointed into a random direction of the store. “Sure” I spoke before I started walking. A jolt of vibrations went through me before I could even take my second step. I swung my hands to my mouth to keep myself from moaning out loud. I turned to Chanyeol, who was the reason of this as he sternly stared at me with his arms crossed; only his dark eyes visible. “That’s not what we agreed on, little one.” He walked around me. “I-I’m sorry, Sir. It won’t happen again.” I stuttered out my words as I couldn’t focus on anything but the shakes inside of me. “C-Can you please turn it off now, sir?” I was clearly desperate, and this added to his rising ego. “No.” He spoke before walking away. I desperately wanted to call out for him but I couldn’t with my shaky voice. Scared to even open my mouth as a moan would definitely come out. I tried to straighten my posture so I wouldn’t attract attention. I took shaky steps as my hands tightened around the cart I was holding.

I tried looking for the items quickly so this torture would end sooner. Until I realized that this was my first time in this store and smartass Chanyeol left me all alone. I looked for an employee to help me and soon found one. “Hello, ma'am. May I ask you something?” I tried to hide my shaky state as much as I could. “Yes, of course!” She smiled brightly. “I was looking fo-” I was interrupted as a high squeal took over my throat. Chanyeol had intensified the vibrations. I looked around as I knew he must be close. “M-Miss, are you alright?” The lady asked with concern. “Yes, i’m f-fine..” I gulped as I clutched my stomach. “I-I was just wondering if y-you also sell soy sauce?” I forced a smile. “Ah! Yes we do!” She spoke with a smile, oblivious to anything. “Follow me!” I used all the strength in me to follow her, with a straight posture and a poker face, pretending not to be edging to an orgasm right about now. The woman showed me my needed soy sauce and then walked off after I told her I didn’t need anything else. I let out a big sigh once she was out of sight and placed the soy sauce in my cart. I could hear snickering from behind me and turned around. There he was, Chanyeol was giggling his mask covered face off as it seemed he just witnessed the most hilarious scenario of his life. “You’re cute when you try not to embarrass yourself.” He spoke with a grin. “Can you please turn it off now, sir?” I spoke in a whimper. My thighs were clutched tightly against one another as my brows furrowed I looked utterly desperate trying to win some mercy out of him. “No’‘ he said rather playfull. ‘‘I want you o do one more thing for me, sweetie.’‘ He grinned. ‘‘That is?’‘ ‘‘Go to the fruit and vegetables section and get the bigges cucumber you can find!’‘ without even questioning his words I shuffled my way over to the alley and grabbed what I was ordered to. Once I shuffled back I noticed Chanyeol looking at a random rack. Once I came closer I noticed him looking for condoms. ‘‘S-sir, I got me what you wanted..’‘ I stammered in a small voice. ‘‘Geat! Now take these and go to the check out, i’ll handle the groceries.’‘ He winked with a wide grin. As I was handed the XL condom package I realized his plan. He really wanted me to buy this cucumber with a pack of condoms!? I whined at the realization and gave him pleading eyes. As to my ‘luck’ this just inched him to get riskier. ‘’Ow! One more thing. Cum as you check out!’’ my stomach sank to the ground at his words. What had I done to deserve this?

After getting our needed items we returned to the dorm. Chanyeol had dropped the bags in the kitchen before returning to me in the hallway. Suddenly his arms wrapped around my waist and he lifted me off the floor by a few centimeters before kissing my lips softly. “You’re making your Daddy very happy. You know that, right?” He murmured when his lips detached from mine. Without any further words he carried me up the stairs. I was still astonished by his strength even tho he was pretty big and could obviously lift my smaller body with ease. My body was aching to be touched, I needed a release as soon as possible! Before I knew it Chanyeol playfully threw me onto his bed. I squealed at the sudden fall but was soon back to intimacy when he crawled between my legs and started taking my jeans off. Once my lower half was naked he roughly pulled out the butt plug, making me moan loudly. “Good girl, moan for me” he said right before placing his lips onto my lower ones. I did what he said and started chanting for more. My hands moved down quickly and grasped his hair. But before I could start pulling, he pinned them back down beside my hips. “I decide the pace, slut” Chanyeol seemed to go back and forth between playful and serious. His tongue licked between my folds and teased my entrance making me whimper for my long awaited release. “Beg to cum” he panted already running out of breath. Not needing to be asked twice I turned my helpless moans into pleads. “S-Sir! Please! Please! May I cum?!” I nearly screamed out. “Louder, babygirl” I could hear the smirk on his face while he was clearly enjoying this. “Please!! May I cum! I need to cum so desperately!” “Let go, babygirl” My build up knot released waves of pleasure through my whole body. My breathing was heavy as I tried to calm down again. Tilting my tired head I faced his night stand. His clock reading 18:53. 'I’ll see you tonight in my room at six’ Kyungsoo’s voice echoed through my head. FUCK! I jumped up again and as quickly as I could headed to the door. “Where are you-” “I’m sorry!!” Is all I could bring out before exiting his room to rush to Kyungsoo’s. I was terrified, maybe it wouldn’t be such a big deal. He didn’t say to be exact.. Right? Ow, who am I fooling?! It’s Kyungsoo! He hated when people were late to anything! I opened his door and as soon as his eyes met mine, a whimper came from my throat. There he was. Sitting on his bed, naked, with a belt in his hands. He didn’t say anything. I knew what was coming and he knew I knew the rules. I closed the door and stripped myself completely. “I’m really sorry, sir” I bowed down, hoping this would earn me some mercy. But yet again, he stayed silent. With a lump in my throat and fear written on my forehead, I walked closer to him and bend over his lap. I had no time to adjust myself as he landed his leather belt right across my ass. I yelped out in pain and shock as the hits continued with no time for me to adjust to the pain. He didn’t even sooth my suffering with a rub of his hand. All it was was pain conflicted to my ass. My nails dug into his calf as tears streamed down my face. With each hit I apologized with a desperate 'I’m sorry!’ But this didn’t seem to do much as the hits never seemed to end. Usually he’d let me count and then thank him. But right now he was giving me the silent treatment. This was not something I preferred. But even so, I felt myself getting heated already. Like I didn’t just orgasm minutes ago. I knew he’d notice, he always noticed the things he did to me. After what felt like hours, he finally stopped. Only now letting the pain really dig into me. My sensitive skin felt like it was on fire. Not only had he hit my cheeks, but my thighs were targeted as well. My legs felt weak from the treatment. Unable to move as my cries died out to whimpers of pain. Still not having said a thing I felt him shift. When he shifted back a cold liquid was squirted onto my beaten skin. I squealed at the sudden sensation before I felt his hands carefully smearing it out to reach each bruised area. His fingertips barely touching my skin to avoid hurting me more. Once the soothing liquid had started setting in I felt soft blows of air touch my skin. It came from between his plush lips; he made sure to reach each part. Then carefully he reached around my body and lifted me off his lap slowly. Too weak and still too frightened to speak I let him do whatever it was he wanted to do. He placed my still trembling body onto the bed, making sure none of the beaten areas was touched. I twisted my neck to see what he would do next. Only being able to see his legs from this angle I followed his footsteps into his bathroom; where he disappeared. I heard the water tab open and close seconds later before he came back again, with a hand towel still in his hands to dry them off. He sat down behind me and spread my legs before adjusting himself between them; also laying on his stomach. “I’m really sorry, S-sir” I whimpered. “I was with Chanyeol a-and we forgot about time.. I really am sorry and you have every right to be angry.” I felt tears coming up again as subspace finally started taking over to sooth my fear. Then I felt his plush lips kiss my bruised skin. And he still hadn’t spoken a word. A soft moan came from my lips as my heat started to rise. He didn’t leave any patch of skin unkissed; sometimes kissing parts twice if they were redder than the others. His lips were so close to my lower ones and if I didn’t know any better I would have whined for him to touch me there. But he never did. When he felt like he was done he detached his lips from my skin. He reached for the tissues on his nightstand so he could clean his glistening lips from the liquid. “I am still angry with you, kitten” his low voice filled the room. Tho his words weren’t assuring, the fact he used any at all was making me endure this more. “I-I understand, sir..” I whispered in a small voice. “No, I don’t think you do” he wrapped his hands around my waist; “sit up” he spoke before turning me around. As my still sensitive skin came in contact with the bed I hissed at the burning pain and flinched. His strong hands forced me down to rub the pain in more. “Hurts, doesn’t it” his voice was sadistic and low as he gazed into my eyes. I nodded with a whine as my nails dug into his forearms. He always let me do this to endure the pain he would inflict. I think I would’ve gone insane already if he hadn’t. “I am hurt too” he said “Yes. I, your master, am hurt by the way you care so little for me.” His words stung me; but not in an offended matter. I rather felt guilt and empathy. “I know I should work on myself as well. But I tried to put my ideas out there right in front of you. Right there, where I was vulnerable. You could’ve totally rejected all of my ideas, my fantasies and I would’ve been devastated because even if I don’t show it, I feel so vulnerable in front of you. Like you could tear me apart more than I could ever do to you.” I tried to stay in my submissive role, I really tried but I felt tears of pure sadness coming up. I never knew how Kyungsoo really felt. Every time he apologized for being too rough he really was apologizing for his own desires. My hands moved on their own as I cupped his cheeks softly. I leaned in and kissed his lips gently. My eyes closed making my tears fall. His hand moved away from my hip and wrapped around my neck softly to deepen the kiss. It was short, but it eased the atmosphere. As he pulled back his thumb whipped away my tears. “Don’t cry..” He spoke softly. My subspace was really getting the best of me. “I’m s-so sorry” I felt so small but at the same time so big for inflicting this. “Baby, you want to continue this another time? I think we both need some rest” I nodded at his words with a weak smile. I moved slowly to avoid any pain on my lower side but was soon pulled onto Kyungsoo’s chest. I squealed at the sudden movement as I landed on top of him. “You’re so small” he grinned as he looked up at me with his hand in my hair. “So lovely and easy to carry” then a kiss was placed on my nose.

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lovebunnie · 7 years

Text

nick carraway and jay gatsby are both gay and heres why

its 11:30 at night and i have class tomorrow but ive been itching to make this post for about a week so im gonna do it. this wont be centered as much around jay and nick being in LOVE, since id have to read and analyze it a bit more to make honest to god claims and opinions for that, but these r some of the reasons that point to both of these characters being completely gay. also, im going to be issuing some points from others sources, but ill include links to the original texts which i recommend reading!

so the great gatsby was written in 1925, a time full of alcohol, financial bliss, and parties like u would not believe. many of these themes are prevalent in the novel, making themselves known all throughout. even the term ‘gatsby-like’ is extremely well known. needless to say, this book is extremely well known in every front. one of the ones i saw the most was calling the great gatsby ‘the greatest love story ever written.’ and before i read the novel myself, i wouldnt have been able to tell u any different. but when u read it, and really, how u analyze it, really shapes how u see the characters. to some people, it really could be an amazing love story. but to me, this story is written about someone obsessed with a facade, denying himself who he is, and a man who watches his downfall and can do nothing to stop him.

one very important thing to acknowledge is how this novel is told: its told completely in nicks perspective. we only know how he feels, we only know these characters based on how nick sees them. it is immediately biased towards nick. and what he does is describe a hell of a lot of people. but it is very distinctive in the way he does it; men and women are very differently described.

nick describes daisy in her voice and the power it has over people. all of nicks flowery language goes into daisys speech, but not in great length about what daisy looked like. with jordan, nick does a bit more describing in the way she is ‘small-breasted’ and had the ‘shoulders of a young cadet.’ these traits are masculine, and we know from the novel that nick does enjoy jordans company and he does say he ‘enjoys looking at her.’ hell, even the name ‘jordan’ is traditionally masculine. nick sees jordan leaning more towards masculinity than femininity. but even still, the flowery language is not as grand as it could be, not as we know nick can get.

its when nick is describing men that things get bold and expressive. even while describing tom does nick go into great and intimate length with him; ‘ He had changed since his Haven years. Now he was a sturdy straw haired man of thirty with a rather hard mouth and a supercilious manner. Two shining arrogant eyes had established dominance over his face and gave him the appearance of always leaning aggressively forward. Not even the effeminate swank of his riding boots could hide the enormous power of that body he seemed to fill those glistening boots until he strained the top lacing, and you could see a great pack of muscle shifting when his shoulder moved under his thin coat. It was a body capable of enormous leverage -- a cruel body’ the author of this paper literally said this passage ‘pulses with sexual energy,’ and this is for a character nick doesnt even like. it obviously means more in the way nick describes him, has more heart and passion put into it.

and now gatsby, who nick, in the final chapters, dwells on even more. we know gatsby is attractive, that much we can tell without nick even really having to describe him. but even in a single paragraph about his smile does it provoke more feeling than anything else about daisy or jordan; ‘ He smiled understandingly-- much more than understandingly. It was one of those rare smiles with a quality of eternal reassurance in it, that you might come across four or five times in your life. It faced --or seemed to face-- the whole external world for an instant, and then concentrated on you with an irresistible prejudice in your favor. It understood you just as far as you wanted to be understood, believed in you as you would like to believe in yourself, and assured you that it had precisely the impression of you that, at your best, you hoped to convey.’

like. damn nick. this is only about gatsbys smile. this was no accident or cruel twist of fate; nick is enamored with jay and obviously finds him attractive and also enjoys looking at him, like jordan. nick sees men and women differently. this could be chocked up to ‘it was the olden days’ and ‘sexism,’ but nick isnt rude to these women, nick is simply not interested in them, at all.

but how do we know nick is gay? wheres the textual proof? its written out word for word, you just have to know where to look. and where to look is at the very end of chapter 2.

so chapter 2 does a lot for the plot; it basically introduces nick to the life these people live and makes him see how unappealing it is. we meet a large cast of characters and expand on others, like myrtle, her sister, and most importantly to the subject of nicks sexuality, mr. mckee.

mr. mckee is described as a ‘pale feminine man’ and nick offhandedly describes the smudge of shaving cream on his cheek. weird right? later in the night, nick describes himself as ‘ Taking out my handkerchief I wiped from his cheek the remains of the spot of dried lather that had worried me all the afternoon.’ nick has been LOOKING at this married man all night and cleaned him up when he was messy like come ON. plus, a ‘pale feminine man’ could very easily be a stereotype of a gay man, especially in the 1920s.

but then comes the most important part about nicks sexuality in the entire book: the ellipses.

the great gatsby is relatively short, only about 200 pages or so, give or take. fitzgerald would not include anything he wouldnt need, as he is also an expert in metaphors and making things seem as they are not. everything is masterfully placed and paced, making it seem to flow like water.

the scene in question describes mr. mckee and nick on an elevator, leaving the party. mr. mckee walked out, leaving his wife, and nick decided to follow. heres the scene:

Come to lunch some day,” he suggested, as we groaned down in the elevator.

“Where?”

“Anywhere.”

“Keep your hands off the lever,” snapped the elevator boy.

“I beg your pardon,” said Mr. McKee with dignity, “I didn’t know I was touching it.”

“All right,” I agreed, “I’ll be glad to.”

. . . I was standing beside his bed and he was sitting up between the sheets, clad in his underwear, with a great portfolio in his hands.

“Beauty and the Beast . . . Loneliness . . . Old Grocery Horse . . . Brook’n Bridge. . . . ”

Then I was lying half asleep in the cold lower level of the Pennsylvania Station, staring at the morning Tribune, and waiting for the four o’clock train.

LIKE. WHAT.

those ellipses separate the time between nick and mr. mckee on the elevator and nick and mckee at his home, with one in underwear and then nick leaving for the train at 4am. there is a large gap of time missing from this, and nick decided to leave it out while fitzgerald decided to keep it in. it means something, and the use of ellipses gives the audience enough to know what is happening without explicitly telling them. it is the authors ‘wink wink nudge nudge’ to the audience. think of the environment nick was in; tom was cheating with myrtle, the heavy metaphor of the eyes watching over the sins we think no one can see. this party was full of mischief and nick fucked a married man.

mckee does not seem intoxicated, he invites nick out to lunch while gripping the elevator handle, which are always objects shaped like dicks. plus in the novel, the scene does feel somewhat out of place; nick does not spend too much time discussing the interactions between mckee and himself, it seems thrown in. i get the impression that nick almost didnt want to include it it his writing, and put it in last minute. however, nick is fictional and i dont have much to go on off from an almost 100 year old book. its open to personal interpretation, but it seems like nick and mckee had sex and nick left on the 4am train, leaving mckee in his underwear at his own home looking through his pictures.

even at the beginning of the novel, nick is planning on living in a house with another man before the plan falls through and he goes to washington dc. could this be a failed boyfriend? we cant say. but it is a possibility.

nick carraway ends the novel mourning his friend jay gatsby, moving back to the midwest alone and away from the glitz and glam of new york. his ending does not involve getting married and having kids and riding off into the sunset, which seems bittersweet for our narrator. however, given the way things planned out for other characters, this is the best ending we could hope for for nick, one away from the destruction and one where he can at least begin to to to be happy again.

and now we move onto jay.

ill admit, this has little to do with textual evidence; i cant point out a place where jay fucks a dude or describe the way jay sees men and women; with nick being our narrator, again, he only know his perspective. but we do hear things about jay from other characters, how he acts and acted before nick and the type of man he is.

wolfshiem describes jay as ‘ very careful about women. He would never so much as look at a friend’s wife.’ this means that jay knows women and knows when to back off, never advancing on someone he had no claim to. this is very important to me for several reasons.

1. it implies jay is not a cheater

2. it implies jay has been around enough women to know who is who

3. it shows jay is respectful

this also says to me that jay is not bi; he only has eyes for daisy, and not other woman. and those eyes for daisy are questionable.

we know daisy and jay had last seen each other 5 years prior to the events of the novel. in that time, jay had collected numerous things about daisy, built a house just so he could see her, and blew thousands of dollars every weekend for parties in hope that daisy would show up, even obtaining money illegally just to impress daisy.

jay gatsby is obsessed with daisy.

this is obvious from the text, the behaviors he puts forward are strange and creepy in pursuit of daisy. gatsby stares longingly out the window, cant hold a conversation with nick, and flat out bolts out of a restaurant to avoid embarrassment. he is an awkward guy, no doubt. and he lives his life as trying to be someone else, specifically, the man he thinks daisy wants from 5 years ago. when the car crashes with myrtle, all gatsby cares about is how daisy feels; when hes literally about to get ganked all he thinks about is daisy, daisy daisy daisy.

this isnt love, and i think deep down, jay knows it. this is the equivalent of dudebros who go above and beyond to prove they arent gay but end up the most gay of them all. gatsby is compensating for his feelings and trying to push the limit to deny himself more and hide back into the closet. he wants to seem the most manly he can get and basically say ‘wow i love women! i love women so much! look what i did for this woman! look at how much i love her!’

daisy is the first person jay felt he could be himself around, could begin to feel happy. and when he went to war, he no longer had something to push all his feelings onto. plus he was surrounded by other men, and for someone so in denial about their own sexuality, it probably drives them to pretty bad places. pretty obsessive places. he needs daisy, not because he loves her, but because he needs to security blanket. he needs to feel validated.

those glaces and stares out at nick feel like cracks of the real jay poking through, one who likes men but cannot admit it to himself. after all, as a man so attached and desperate for the ‘american dream,’ back in the 1920s, that did not include marrying a man. jay lives with internalized homophobia and tries to calm his nerves with his pretend love of daisy.

i could go on and on about this forever but its 12:30 and i have class.

if u take nothing from this, let me leave u with these main bullets:

TL;DR

nick fucked a dude

nick describes men erotically while he describes women very dully

nick almost lived with another man

jay is obsessed with daisy to repress his emotions

the separation and wartime made things worse for him

his internalized homophobia causes the plot

his longing stares out the window at nick are cracks in his facade

ty and goodnight

#space.txt #the great gatsby #natsby #jay gatsby #nick carraway #I SPENT AN HOUR ON THIS #YALL #idc if no one reads this i had fun writing it #ut yeah nick fucked a dude confirmed

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bluenet13 · 6 years

Text

A Magical Holiday Break

I wrote this mainly for my own amusement and almost decided not to post it, but thought someone might enjoy it so I went with it and here we are. This is my third @densi-mber story and exists in the same timeline as the other two, but it can totally be read on its own.

“Baby, we’re not spending New Year’s Eve in Times Square.” Kensi said for what felt like the 100th time, continuing the argument that had started 2 days ago, as soon as they had been informed that NCIS was giving all the OSP team one week off as holiday vacation.

“Come on Princess, what place is more magical to receive the New Year together than Times Square?” Deeks looked at Kensi with his best puppy eyes and charming smile, hoping to convince her so they could start making travel arrangements.

“Shaggy, you just said the key to this whole situation… any place would be magical as long as we’re together… I just want to receive the New Year with you,” the sincerity and love in her words made his heart flutter and not for the first time, and certainly not for the last, he wondered how he had managed to get so lucky as to have this incredible woman in his life.

But, still there was an argument to win and a decision to be made so he couldn’t let his heart control his actions and needed to keep thinking with his head… at least until they were back in their shared bedroom. “I know that Kensalina, but if we can add a magical scene it would only make the moment even more magical and unforgettable.”

“Deeks, when we’re on a case you usually need to pee every 30 minutes… just imagine in the middle of winter… in New York City… and surrounded by 1 million people.” She looked at him from across their dining table, while she continued to eat her pasta. “It’s a recipe for disaster…” She eventually finished after a huge mouthful of her favorite Deeks’ culinary creation and a swig of her beer.

Deeks concentrated on his meal while he thought of a better argument but Kensi had just made a valid point. His face shined and his eyes took on that brightness they got when he was about to say a joke or tease one of his friends, “we can always use an adult diaper…”

Kensi almost chocked on the serving she was currently devouring and glared at her boyfriend while she took another swig to help fully swallow the offending pasta. “I’m not using an adult diaper…” Seeing the still amused looked in his eyes she knew she had to make her point even clearer, “…and neither are you!”

“You’re such a spoilsport Fern…” Kensi could only laugh at his comment and the pout that appeared on his face after her comment.

“Oh, and you’re such a baby Marty… stop with the pouting and act like the grown-up you’re supposed to be.” She kept laughing even as she said the words, enjoying teasing this man she loved so much.

He just glared at her and pouted even more, almost pointing out that he didn’t like to be called Marty, but knowing she had done it to annoy him and not wanting to give her the satisfaction. So he just decided to continue eating his pasta, while silently still thinking of a way to convince her.

-x-x-x-

The next morning started as the previous night ended… With another argument about their upcoming vacations. “Come on Kens, you know this is the best idea, pleeease?”

“Stop giving me your puppy eyes, they won’t make me change my mind…” Even as she said the words, she reached out to push his bangs away from said eyes, staring at them lovingly and getting lost in their blue depth.

“Then what do you say we do? Enjoy our vacation staying in the same LA and house?” He tried sounding indignant, going for a different approach to persuade her.

“We could still travel, just maybe somewhere close by… That way we can still enjoy a bit of free time and holiday celebration with our moms.”

“Yeah Kens, like that’s exactly what I want to do after our successful breakfast the other day, and dinner this past Sunday turned into little Marty picture time…”

“Oh but those pictures were so cute… I still want a copy of the one you’re wearing nothing but a diaper and the fluffy Santa hat,” she hugged him as she said the words in an attempt to show him that it was not a joke but that she really meant it.

“I’m sure mama is gonna get you a copy of it… and probably of the whole album if you asked, sometimes I think she likes you more than me…” He faked hurt as he said it, emphasizing his point by placing his hand dramatically over his heart.

“Well, can you really blame her? I actually make attempts to meet her while you always want to find an excuse… and you pointed a gun at her boyf… Guy… the first time you met him.” Every time the man was mentioned in an intimate capacity with Roberta, Deeks seem to blow a fuse, so she decided to take the save route and address him by name.

“Kens, you weren’t there… You don’t know how walking into that looked to me….” He was tired of speaking about Guy, his mama or anyone else, and he really just wanted a time for themselves, like the one they spent after going all in…

Just then his eyes took that special brightness and cheerfulness she loved so much, making it clear his crazy mind just had a new idea. “I got it! Let’s still go to NY but instead of staying in the city let’s book a cabin in a different town, what do you think?”

It was impossible to tell him no when his eyes were tinkling like that and when such an adorable and innocent smile was present on his face. “Okay baby, I remember reading of this town called Tarrytown, it’s just a short train ride away from Manhattan, so we can still see and enjoy the city but get back to a cozy cabin at night and… I would like to get back to LA for New Year’s.”

Hearing her words he instantly nodded, and with his adorable smile still present on his face, moved to hug her and kiss her sweetly on the lips, lingering there a second longer and breathing in her scent. He really liked the idea of spending New Year’s in New York, but also understood that given the year they just had, it was important to enjoy those days with family and their NCIS teammates and their moms were just that.

After breaking apart he went to their bedroom to pick up his laptop so they could start looking for a place and making reservations. Finding a place so close to the holidays wasn’t going to be easy, but hopefully one away from the city wouldn’t be as hard or expensive to find. After their conversation about Holiday gifts and saving money for their wedding they had almost decided not to go on vacation at all, but they both agreed the escape was needed and that’s when the discussion to pick a location had started.

It took the couple 45 minutes and a couple of new disagreements but they finally booked their flights and a small one-bedroom cabin north of NYC and close to the train station. They decided to travel early in the morning from LA and late at night from NY so they could enjoy as many days in the city without having to use all their vacations days there. Kensi having convinced her boyfriend to leave a day open so they could meet the moms for another Holiday visit and a day to meet the guys as they declined to go with them when they had been invited to join the trip, preferring to stay in LA and enjoy some calm days.

Holiday plans in motion, the young partners just needed to survive a few more days at work and it would be time for their much needed vacation and relaxing days to enjoy the company they both loved and cherished the most.

-x-x-x-

That morning Kensi and Deeks woke up eager to have a quick breakfast and head straight to the airport, bags already finished the night before, and just needing to add some toiletries and pack their laptops. After about 20 minutes of getting ready they left their home ready for their trip, both feeling sad having to leave Monty behind, but glad that Eric and Nell had agreed to come pick up the mutt later that day and take care of him for the duration of their trip.

They got to the airport with plenty of time to spare and with an excuse of going to the restroom Deeks stopped at a donut place to get some treats for his girlfriend to surprise and indulge her on the plane.

The young couple spent the flight snuggled together, laughing and looking at each other as if they were the only other person in the world… And in that moment, they really were. They ate their donuts, and laughed even more when Deeks jokingly smeared a bunch of powdered sugar on Kensi’s forehead, resulting in her covering his nose in strawberry jelly and excitedly screaming that she was flying with Rudolf. For anyone looking from a distance, the young couple might have appeared drunk, but in reality they were only overindulging in love and the peace that these days, away from it all, brought them.

“Come on baby, baggage claim is that way,” Kensi couldn’t help but smile at the pure wonder in Deeks’ voice as he signaled for the way to go. He looked like a kid, and she wondered how many vacations like this he had been able to enjoy during his childhood.

“Slow down Shaggy, I’m coming.” She was practically running behind him as she said the words, struggling to catch up to him and not crash with any of the other ton of people walking around them. New York City was surely a busy place this time of the year.

It took them around 3 hours to finally arrive to their cabin, having to wait for a prior flight before reclaiming their luggage and then awkwardly discovering that all NYC taxi drivers didn’t know how to get to little towns north of the city, so eventually deciding to head over to the train station instead. Kensi had wanted to rent a car but Deeks succeeded in convincing her to just enjoy these days as a tourists and not worry about traffic, parking and the other things that came with driving in the Big Apple.

“Oh wow, this place is awesome… And look at this tub.” Now it was Kensi’s voice the one full of wonder as she took in the sight before her and especially the hot tub located in the back, already thinking of all the things they would do there.

That night the couple decided to stay in their little town, and just left the comfort of the cabin to have some dinner and quickly came back… to escape from the cold, and find warmth in each other. Also finding a lot of help in the fireplace and hot tub that the cabin offered.

-x-x-x-

The next morning came quicker than any of them wanted, and with it started their 3 days for tourism and relaxation before they had to fly back on the fourth.

Combining both of their interests they first decided to head over to Union Square where the Wonder Twins had recommended they checked out their Holiday Market. As soon as they got out of the subway, they were surprised by the enormity of the skyscrapers and the simplicity of the little plaza where the market was located. They shopped a little, buying some homemade treats to eat that night at the cabin and some special handmade souvenirs to take to their teammates and moms back home. They even got one for Mosley, hoping to stay in her good graces and never have her try to, again, send Deeks back to LAPD.

Leaving the market they decided to walk 5th street until the point it reached Central Park, stopping at various places to look at the characteristic Manhattan Attractions. They took pictures of the Empire State, Flatiron Building, Rockefeller Center and many other places in between.

If asked later, both would easily agree their favorite part of the day was the ice rink they found in one of their stops, both instantly transported to another frozen lake 3 years prior. They held each other more closely after that, both remembering the past 7 years of their lives and how a MMA gym, a girl name Tracy and a boy name Jason had changed the course of both their lives forever. And how ultimately passing through another girl named Melissa and then Fern, and a boy named Justin and then Max, they had ended in a couple name Kensi Blye and Marty Deeks… One that would hopefully share the same surname, soon.

They got back to their cabin later that night, tired but content in the success of their day and ready to enjoy another night in each other’s arms.

-x-x-x-

The next 2 days of their trip proceeded in a similar way. They woke up tangled in each other, happy in the comfort and warm the other provided. They showered together, and almost every morning ended up taking longer than expected as said activity involved a lot more than just showering.

The first of those days, they decided to walk Central Park, especially as Deeks wanted to visit Strawberry Fields, the part of the park with the Imagine memorial dedicated to John Lennon. As they were leaving to continue their walk, the young man turned up to look at the sky, and Kensi silently wondered if he had wanted to visit the memorial for his father and if maybe that gesture had been dedicated to him. The rest of the day involved more walking, pictures, laughs, a nice dinner and getting back to their cabin to enjoy another night in the hot tub and then spread in a blanket in front of the fireplace.

The last full day they would be spending in New York passed by quicker than any of the others. They woke up a little later than expected after the previous’ nights activities had lasted more than planned. But still it left them enough time to go to the city. That day they visited the area of Battery Park to look, at least, from distance at the Statue of Liberty, before walking to the 9/11 Memorial and paying their respects to the fallen heroes and civilians of that day.

When time for lunch came, Kensi insisted they took the subway to a special place she wanted to visit. Not totally sure but not wanting to deny his girl anything Deeks agreed and was completely surprised when they reached their destination. It was the original bakery that invented the Cronut and he couldn’t feel more love for his girlfriend than he felt at that moment. His mind, instead of being invaded by darkness and memories of past nightmares, was full of the love and admiration he felt for Kensi, also the pride he felt for himself as he had managed to, for the most part, leave those demons behind.

They went into the bakery hand-in-hand, and Deeks’ disappointment at learning the Cronuts usually were all sold out before noon, quickly evaporated as he learned that Kensi had called the day they booked the trip to reserve a half-dozen for them; using her NCIS influence to make it happen. He hugged her and whispered in her hear a quick thank you, along with sweet promises of things to come later that night.

Cronuts in hand and hearts full, the couple left the bakery to get back to the train station so they could make their way back to their town. They enjoyed a nice dinner together and eventually ended up like all previous nights, just this time, enjoying some cronuts along with the heat of the fireplace and each other.

-x-x-x-

On the last day of their trip, they decided to stay in the town and walk a bit down Main Street instead of going back to Manhattan and risk losing their flight later that night.

The walk lasted less than expected as both man and woman wanted to get back to the cabin as soon as possible to enjoy some last moments in their favorite hut tub and in each other’s arms. They whispered sweet nothings, promises of better times and reassurances of love as they soaked their joined bodies in the hot water, letting the action melt all their fears, doubts, and old nightmares away.

For them, this trip signaled more than just a vacation but it was really a matter of leaving the last year behind. Not only what had happened to them, but also to Sam, Owen, and to their family as a whole. They had needed the days to finally breathe and enjoy the mere fact that they were still alive and, more importantly, together. Eventually, they would have to go back to the realities and uncertainties of their lives and jobs but at least these few days had given them a little respite from all that.

They got to the airport feeling fresh and recharged, as always happy to be with each other, but also eager to get back to the rest of their family and hoping for a perfect New Year along with them, and hopefully an even better 2018, given all they had lost in 2017…

#densi-mber #densi-mber writing prompts #densi-mber drabble #densi #densi drabble #kensi x deeks #deeks x kensi #ncis los angeles #ncisla #mashmaiden

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carterhaughs · 7 years

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some more charlotte + haxby stuff (which I already talked about extensively here) lol I’ll spare the tag another long post under a cut:

Given all the scenes they shared in ep 2 where Haxby sees how Charlotte and her family live and that scene with Mary, I don’t think Haxby’s feelings for her are purely hatred - they included that scene of him praying over Mary’s dying body - he initially said “all harlots are damned” but then ended up praying for her soul and I think there’s a reason they bothered to show us that as well as giving him so much screentime with Charlotte and seeing how things might be for her under other circumstances. There’s simply too much development and too many shared experiences there for him to be a flat antagonist - it would render all those scenes (and the wonderful acting in them) pointless - and would do the same for scenes where he’s been vulnerable in front of her, like the scene with the chamber pot I discussed here and a certain scene in ep 5 too based on what I know from spoilers anyway.

Speaking of ep 2, that episode is what made me think he’d develop a weird crush on her (was not expecting hate sex but I’ll take it) and maybe keep her secrets for howard because he understands her better now - where she comes from and why she is this way. like I said, there’s a reason they had him witness all that I think and there’s a reason he was at Mary’s deathbed with Charlotte. it’s her profligate spending that really drives the wedge between them and I can’t really fault him for that because she really doesn’t HAVE to spend that much. and I think part of the reason she does is that she’s just very irritated by the whole system and is extremely self-destructive. we see that in the scene in the gambling den with howard and lucy where she keeps increasing his stake just out of irritation really. but that’s also what makes me think eventually she’ll work with Lady Caroline and/or Haxby. it’s telling that neither character is mentioned in any of the spoilery episode summaries beyond ep 5 I think. their involvement will probably be somewhat unexpected.

Something else I noticed rewatching ep 2 was how Haxby observes Daniel flirting with Charlotte while she’s on the verge of tears next to the dead body of her old friend Mary lol she turns around and sees him watching (then turns back and takes a big swig of ale!) but his expression is neutral though obviously he’s paying attention and he doesn’t say anything about it to Howard later which is interesting to me (even though he did the first time he saw them together)

I couldn’t write a post about these two without further analysis of That Scene, so here it is - first, my friend @honeychurches‘ perspective, then mine in the next bullet point: “So he’s always sneering and disapproving but that was the first direct challenge to her power in the household. And obviously she’s desperate to feel she has control at that point, everything’s slipping. His reaction is quite powerful. Like he’s frozen at first, but his arms are quite visibly shaking. I don’t know that that means he’s ~violently repressed~ his attraction to her, but at least speaks to the depth of the connection. I wondered if her initial ~enjoyment was performative, she does play a role in sex. Is she smiling bc that’s what she does? I think she smiles bc it’s a high at first, her effect on H and sense of control. She is enjoying it, and whatever their connection is it’s a hell of a lot more real than with her culls. The kiss is super interesting to me, bc they didn’t have to? She’s just grabbed his dick, this is definitely heading in one direction. But not only does he kiss her, passionately, but there’s that intense look right before he does it. It’s all more intimate than you’d expect. The placement of their hands is also super significant I think, like a waltz. Her left hand perches on his shoulder while their others lock together. It’s weird she doesn’t do anything else with it, she just keeps replacing it on his shoulder as though she’s lost for what to do - probably symbolic of her loss of control. She’s initiated this but can’t gain the upper hand - in a dance the man leads, the woman follows. I think it’s a reversal of the beginning of the scene where she physically shoves him against the wall, against gender type. She laces their fingers together, which is quite intimate. When they finish, H’s hands still seem to be shaking (like seriously, GOOD JOB Ed Hogg) as they recover. Basically this scene is fucking intense and I totally bow down to the actors. HOTTTT.”

A lot of great observations above, esp re: it being like a waltz! Here’s my own response to my friend’s thoughts re: That Scene. something @calamity-bean pointed out too was the way he dropped the candle - symbolic bc of the candle scene earlier with lucy and charlotte? but starting at the beginning of your analysis - this was exactly that - the very first time he actually told her she couldn’t order him around, which is kind of true - he’s not a footman or a butler, he’s an estate planner whose place is generally with Lady Caroline but Howard’s ordered him to be here. this is not in his job description - looking after her and letting her boss him around. and as we’ve discussed before, charlotte engages in this act bc it’s the one thing she feels she has control over - that it’s the one beast in her life that is “an easy beast to tame” as she tells Lucy. it was impulsive but it seems like she figured she’d get a rise out of him, they’d have some sloppy sex and he’d be embarrassed at how much he is within her power to command. instead he responds enthusiastically and as you noted, passionately - I was surprised they kissed, for example, I thought they’d get right down to business. and he is shaking, probably for a number of reasons - repressed passion, frustration with her, as well as perhaps even fear and adrenaline at the realization they’re doing something very dangerous for both of them. but when they do have sex, as you said, he takes control - partly because a part of him likely really wanted this and partly because he wants to show her he’s a man I think (which as we discussed was what that smug look he gives her at the end seemed to be about) and yes you’re right it’s strange she just keeps her hand on his shoulder - she seems to be dissociating a bit from the situation but at the same time, she laces her fingers through his which is interesting and definitely very intimate. but YES by FAR the hottest scene on the show - I can’t imagine anything could surpass it really; it was beautifully acted, analytically chock-full of character and relationship detail, and also just really sexy? good lord. that scene revealed so much about both characters but also added a bit of mystery on charlotte’s end in the sense that she seemed weirded out by the whole thing and she didn’t get what she wanted out of it - a sense of control - we see that in her face at the end. but at the same time…the hands seem important here. perhaps she felt a sort of connection she didn’t expect to have? it was an act about trying to regain autonomy but it seemed to turn into something else at the end there - a connection she wasn’t really expecting between two people who have been feeling very deprived of their autonomy and rights by the same person. I don’t think there’s any doubt that Haxby was attracted to her before this but maybe she also felt something for him there…we’ll see. possibly not ever fullblown romantic but it is intriguing to say the least

the only thing that makes it seem possible to me that they’ll cotinue to develop this relationship in whatever form it takes in the future is the fact that the show has spent so much time developing it, really, and the different ways it could play into the show this season and in future seasons. so I’ll retain a sliver of optimism, however unlikely, that they’ll at least get to interact more and that Ed Hogg, who I always love watching on screen bc he’s amazing, will get to stick around.

#harlots #charlotte wells #thomas haxby #my harlots meta #don't mind me lmao

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madmazmind · 7 years

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Cursed Child front row 26/02

Today has made me so incredibly happy. Yesterday evening Steph told me she had won the Friday Forty and was giving me her AA ticket, as I haven’t sat there yet and she was already going today. I will be forever grateful to her- I never believed I would get a front row seat but its happened and it was all I ever dreamed it would be.

I sat in AA20, which is 2 from the end on stage right. I was right in front of so many of my favourite scenes. Yes, I had to crane my neck to see the back of the stage but everything was still so beautiful and I was able to really forget that I was in a massive 1400 seat theatre and feel each actors performance quite intimately. There’s something very special about this play that allows it to be both very big and very intimate at the same time, which is so incredibly unique.

I had Stuart as Harry and Adam as the Sorting Hat/ Hagrid!

I had serious butterflies as the play started. This was one of the best audiences I’ve been a part of- they clapped and wooped everything and it was stunning!

Some specific mentions...

I adored the first Albus/ Scropius meeting on the train- it was sweet and funny and perfect. Recently Anto has been changing up his delivery of loads of his lines and its bringing out a new dimension to Scorpius which I’m loving!

Paul and Noma were ON FIRE. Their comedic timing is so stunning always but today they were bouncing. During the “Albus/Ron polyjuicing/blocking” scene I was in fits of giggles, being so close allowed me to really spot the little nuances of Albus that Paul pushes into his performance. Like as Hermione walks back on to tell him he’s off the scale sometimes, he grimaces behind her back.

Special mention to Stuart as Scorpius. I really felt that he was playing a different character to Harry for those scenes which is phenomenal. Its amazing that he was able to almost be both Harry and Scorpius at the same time where both of them are believable.

From my angle of AA I watched the polyjuice transformation straight on, without being able to see the very bottom of their cloaks and I swear I watched actual magic happen.

Also I started crying during part 2 in the Ron/ Hermione staircase scene. The longing in both their faces was so painful. Then Noma sort of looked to the side and chocked and I was wrecked. Which actually summed up my emotional state throughout the whole play.

And when I say wrecked I mean wrecked. Like I had a little weep when the cloaks were swishing and the lighting was pretty. And I full on cried when Anto got out of the lake after part 1 just because he was so close and the water was dripping down onto the floor like onto my feet and then I realised how ridiculous I was being for feeling things about water and cried a bit more.

There was a big corpsing incident (you Americans apparently call it breaking!). In the scene in Godricks Hollow with the adults before they go back in time the audience laughed hard at thatched roofs and then the farmers market line broke us. Alex broke and turned away to laugh which made the audience clap, Noma corpsed, Paul went, Stuart went, Poppy broke and shrugged at everyone and it took two more rounds of applause for everyone to calm down and for Noma to deliver her next line. They continued to giggle as they were all going back in time (yes, I could hear the giggles from AA!). I’ve not seen a break like it in this show and I feel blessed to have witnessed it!

ALL the tricks worked! Nothing went wrong leading to an awkward silence!

Also Cherrelle wiggled Anto’s eyebrow in Act 4, Scene 14 and that kinda gave me life. And the scorbus last hug was beautiful.

Stage door

I find it a little bit weird to discuss SD and decode it online because its just me having a chat with some people I admire but you guys seem to like hearing about it so I’ll give an overview! Tonights SD was stunning- a lot of people came out which was lovely as it was my cousins first time.

I’ve pretty much stopped being awkward and fangirly with them all which means I can actually say “oh I really loved this scene, thank you so much for that” without it coming out as “ABFYULJBNJCNBQW” and me coming home cringing.

I asked Poppy for a hug because she ruined me in the last really sad bit and she sort of held me so I must’ve looked wrecked. She gives amazing hugs!

Noma was a goddess as usual! I forgot to ask her to sign my program first time (she hugs me, I panic and get nothing done) so I ran to the end of the line and she was lovely enough to do it there.

Paul was SD king as usual!

We asked Adam if he was Bane’s back legs and he didn’t say yes or no but he did tell us they have a pretty funny name for whoever is playing the back legs which I’ll leave you guys to take guesses at!

I spoke to Sam/ Anto/ Jeremy/ Jack N/ Tom Mil about how amazing today was because of the audience and other fairly normal SD things.

Stuart is so so so lovely and special. He takes so much time to talk to everyone and chat about the play. I am so grateful for the time he spends with us. Honestly... I think he’s my Harry!

Today was a dream come true. I’ve been wanting to sit in AA for months and really felt the emotion of being so close to such talented people and such a perfect production. And the fact that Steph decided to let me have it, rather than use it herself, made it even more special because that level of kindness was coming from someone who I met because of this play!

For... Um... Yes!

xxx

#Harry Potter #harry potter and the cursed child #Cursed Child #sam clemmett #anthony boyle #scorbus #Albus Severus Potter #scorpius malfoy

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