#but this is the most motivated and genuinely happy to write that ive been in SO fucking long.
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hey! hope you're doing good! if you don't mind me asking, what made you want to start the voltron rewrite?
I absolutely don't mind u asking!!!!!! will always ramble abt shit here on scattered winter dot com
its....kind of a long story. see I was caught up in the voltron hype a few years ago, and was obsessed with it from day one. I feel fairly confident in saying that it was my first fandom-related hyperfixation that lasted for quite a long period of time. I had mutuals and friends, and wrote fic and generally just participated in fandom and had a BLAST despite the source material being. less than stellar. but well the voltron fandom is notorious for being absolutely batshit (derogatory) and eventually the negativity from the fandom kind of drove me out (it was also just bitterness and anger on my part from the way the show ended because man.) but regardless the voltron hyperfixation went dormant for a really long time as I moved onto other things. but the concept kinda stayed with me (because let's be real its an AWESOME concept with sooo much cool worldbuilding potential that was never tapped into) and I played with the idea of an all-oc cast with my own story as the years went by, but never really went farther than daydreaming and making picrews lmao. but in the last few months the voltron hyperfixation has been flaring up as I've started rereading some of my fav fics and remembering why I liked this show in the first place, negativity and disappointment aside. and voltron is the perfect combination of worldbuilding potential, fascinating characters, and stupid fucking ass writing decisions that fuel me with enough spite to just write my own version. I've played with the idea of a voltron rewrite for a long time as I've thought about the characters more and what I would have done with them and the worldbuilding if I were in charge, but I didn't really actually start thinking about it seriously until I started rewatching the first season and remembered all the REALLY cool stuff it had. so long story short, now that most of the negative people have left the fandom, and now that I've had time to be in a better mindset abt the show, I'm doing this rewrite both because I'm frustrated by the dumb directions the source material went, and because I genuinely love the source material. at least, the core of it. AND as a bonus I'm genuinely having sooo much fun thinking about and planning the rewrite !!!! every single character got absolutely butchered after s2 and I want sooo badly to do them justice, because I love them all so much and they're all really close to my heart and I'm literally just having the time of my life out here <3 I don't even really mind that the fandom is practically dead nowadays and so my rewrite probably won't get that much attention because 1) I have soo many friends and bestiemutuals enabling me and cheering me on 2) I'm GENUINELY having so much fun. like it's been sooooo long since I've been this motivated and inspired and excited for a writing project and it's an amazing feeling to have
#i dont talk to any of my old voltron mutuals for unrelated reasons that i wont get into because its a Whole Thing (tm)#but im in a few servers and indoctrinating friends into it and literally just living my best life rn#ANYWAY TY FOR ASKING <33333#i will LITERALLY never shut up about the rewrite. the characters. the relationships. the WORLDBUILDING.#do NOT ask me about adashi OR the worldbuilding because i will NEVER fucking shut up.#anyway im doing soooo well rn <3333#like. literally ive been in a writer's block that was YEARS long. years of only being able to write tiny snippets here and there.#and the rewrite is only being done in fits and starts because im out of practice and dont have a lot of free time#but this is the most motivated and genuinely happy to write that ive been in SO fucking long.#and ngl. i love that for me.#TY FOR ASKING MWAH#whale-mafia#quintenary stars series
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May I request some pain, Raph flavored
Pretty pleaseeeee
i hope i dont sound angry writing this, but please dont send/ask me stuff like this!
i've gotten a lot of similar asks like this and this is scary for me but i need to set a boundary!
.
i dont like making "angst" or sad things, i dont make non-happy content for the sake of inflicting pain, and i dont like people assuming/thinking i do! i make it for meaningful emotional impact, i dont want people to tell me how much they like that i "put raph through pain" or assume im appealing to people who like doing that .. it makes me very sad!
i dont make "angst" to purely hurt characters, im making fanart of a character with emotional depth, and to explore the character's reaction to serious matters, and to let people know that theyre not alone, and that struggling can look like many things
some of the most motivating things ive been told by people who like my comics is that it's helped them (and their therapist sometimes!) figure out what was up with them, because i write a lot of things such as ptsd and anxiety and general mental pain to look different than the media portrays. because there really is alot of forms mental issues can take, and not all of them get portrayed, which leaves real people wondering "whats wrong with me" when its right there, just different form!
i think the closest i'll get to making it "just because" is vent art, but that too has meaning. and i will specify when its vent art for that very reason. to say "this isnt necessarily me exploring anything, or canonical, its to make myself feel less alone, and hopefully, the people seeing this as well"
and thats why i make the content i do, its not because i enjoy putting characters i like through bad things,,, in fact, i often hesitate/regret posting because i feel bad about the things i create for the sake of this. but i try to look past it because it can genuinely help a lot of people, and it does help myself too.
i think that assuming i make emotional stuff just for the sake of pain takes away from that.. i try very hard to not over-do sad stuff and i often cut down on it because i dont want to overwhelm people with it, and to prove that i only do the necessities for the sake of healing from the things i put emphasis on
any of the pain i "put them through" is my take on what they've canonically been through, and exploring their reaction and way to deal with the aftermath of that. nothing more,,, nothing less.
ugly things are still worth talking about, especially for the sake of healing growth
this got alot i hope i made sense uhh yeah!! yeah.,, apolocheese!!
TL;DR: i personally make pain for the necessity of healing, not because i think its fun
and now back to our regularly scheduled program
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dumb question: could you elaborate on what you meant when you mentioned the character relationships regressing in princess tutu?
honestly, maybe "regressed" wasn't exactly the right word. the progression gained in s1 still exists - ahiru has gotten to know a bit more about rue and believes that rue is still somewhere in the kraehe persona, fakir no longer wishes to deny mytho his heart, and most critically, fakir and ahiru are now allies. none of those major developments have been set back.
however, literally all these relationships have flattened by virtue of the show simply not choosing to focus on them. rue appears to no longer feel ambivalent about princess tutu (which is sort of gestured at as being part of her retreat into the kraehe role/the raven's daughter, but there's no actual attention drawn to it.) we get next to nothing about how fakir feels about mytho other than "well we gotta get his heart to him and solve the raven's blood problem." I DO think fakir and ahiru have gotten closer, but their relationship is a rather straightforward friendship. it's still a little complex, but it lacks the drive and relative complexity of s1.
this would not be a problem if fakir/ahiru was a background dynamic to all the other ongoing dynamics, btw. they don't need to always be in a fraught ideological struggle. I think their dynamic is cute! but given that there's just very little complexity in any relationship in the show at this point, it does feel like a regression. ptutu has always been a kid's show, and so I never expected a crazy level of complex characterization, but there was a sense of forward momentum and struggle between clashing personalities and motives in s1 😭 compared to that, s2 has felt so empty.
well, except for one dynamic. and that's between rue and raven's blood mytho.
i will say straight up that this dynamic is WEIRD. not for any actual reason of the dynamic itself (in a vacuum it's a fascinating dynamic) but for the writing surrounding it. ive talked EXTENSIVELY about how much I hate the choice to make mytho be possessed by an Evil Self, and this is another extension of that. we know raven's blood mytho is just meant to disappear like a puff of smoke by the end of the plot. in essence, this undercuts literally any and all screentime he gets. we know that, because he is a plot obstacle, he is just not supposed to be taken seriously. his scenes with rue are meant to establish HER as a poor little meow meow, and not to establish him as a genuine character with motivations and feelings of his own.
and of course rue, come season 2, has been established as being pretty much entirely princess kraehe. her motive to possess mytho has been further fleshed out as being part of her backstory as an emotionally abused girl who wishes to free her father and gain a happy ending with mytho.
I do feel this comes out of nowhere and undercuts some earlier stuff with her character. however, it's not a horrible change. even if it's not what I wanted or liked about her, it DOES say stuff about her and lend texture to how she views mytho. however, some of this was unintentional by the writers. rather than being only tragic, she just seems pathetic and sad. I'm wishing for her to both break free of her father AND break free of her idealization of mytho. both her father and raven's blood mytho treat her like shit, and she doesn't care if regular mytho loves her so long as she can possess him. i want so badly for that mindset to go away for her, but from what I know, it doesn't.
all that aside, that brings us to the one dynamic relationship in s2 so far, and that's between rue and raven's blood mytho. as discussed, he is basically a new character. he doesn't feel like he is at all related to regular mytho, even inversely. the only other character he Could be related to is the raven, but given that he's not literally the raven possessing mytho's body, his characterization tells us very little about either character. so... not great for the idea of Existing dynamics progressing. they had to invent a new guy for rue to have character development with!
I do like it. they're mutually using each other, which is interesting. I like their little plotting sessions, and I like rue's continual wish that he will at least love her a little, even though she's mostly concerned with actual mytho rather than him. they feel like fun, toxic allies, and you get a great sense of how they view each other. they're both characterized quite interestingly in their moments together. their mutual ruthlessness is put on great display.
but well... we get a good sense of how rue feels about regular mytho. we know exactly what she sees in him. mytho himself? we don't get his viewpoint on hardly anything.
now, this is justifiable from a watsonian standpoint because of his heart situation. he isn't himself, and is spending most of his time fighting against his evil alter ego. but s1 mytho also had an incomplete heart, and we got a good sense of how he viewed other people! he went from unquestionably allowing fakir and rue to overrule him to asserting his own emotions against them. we see that he was drawn by princess tutu. it seemed like he liked fakir and ahiru at least somewhat. and even before he had his heart back, he still pretty obviously had interests and had his own viewpoint on fakir and rue.
now? nothing. we know he wishes to see tutu, isn't interested in rue's attempts to control him, and that he dislikes his raven's blood persona. that's it. we don't know how his views on anyone else have shifted. a lot has happened - it would be really natural for his perspectives on everyone to change! but we don't see evidence of it. the only time we see the Real Mytho is when he is desperately struggling against the raven's blood.
so yeah. theres just less dynamism between any of the four main characters. it's really not great.
#narrates#ptutu#NOBODY is experiencing a complex thought about another person minus rue and thats only towards mytho#well thats a lie. ahiru has seen some more stuff that characterizes fakir.#but its not very much :(
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guess who?
hi everyonee!! genuinely not sure if u guys remember me but yk, either way, I just wanted to tell you guys how my life’s been going these past 2 months. (as well as showing my appreciation)
new year of school is going well, my class doesn’t suck as bad as the last 😭🙏 ive recently started 2 planners, one focusing on academics, goals and one focusing on self improvement, and I feel like they’re helping me a lot!
as for the projects I mentioned in my last post, i’m working on them slowly but surely. starting to apply myself more at school, and i’m trying to cut back on procrastination SEVERELY. also i feel like i can actually draw well now! isnt that super exciting? im excited, for maybe no reason but im so happy im finally seeing improvement. practice really does make perfect.
my original story and my plan for a webtoon are going smoothly, im just doing research on webtoon artstyles and book chapter guidelines so i know what i can do to make good story progression!
im also being more organized (finally) and starting to be less forgetful!
oh and i might make an art focused account? just to help motivate me to keep practicing my art skills.
unfortunately, still have no interest in writing fanfiction for any fandom for the time being 😭 sobs internally
but maybe, if i feel up to it, i might do short character drabbles. for any fandom! im open to any suggestions, if any of you guys want to suggest any?
most importantly, i just want to thank everyone that has interacted with any of my posts at all. this tumblr account has seriously pivoted the direction of my life and showed me that i can accomplish something, and put smiles on people’s faces. (might be overreacting but let me be sentimental alright? 😀👍)
one day, maybe, my name will be on the cover of a bestselling book. or maybe ill have an art account with over 10k followers. the point is, i will never forget the support that everyone has showed me here. it really may seem like a small thing to you guys, just liking someones posts on a large social media platform, but it meant so much for me that people liked what i created.
i dont think i expressed my gratitude clearly enough in my goodbye post. so i hope you guys got it here 🙏
wherever my life goes, and wherever you guys go, i hope you all know that each and every one of you have impacted my life.
thank you all :)
and,
as always,
thank you for reading.
much loved,
lorre.
oh and also ill be more active on here now 🙏 i just know that wherever i go from here on out, i want you guys to be here with me, if you’ll have me.
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#1: I love finding someone with a unique/rare ship or headcannon.
#2: the interaction with Sigma and Sombra, where Sigma is saying Moira is going to run some tests on him, how do you think Ramattra would respond to hearing that?
#3 do they have any nick names for each other?
AW TEEHEE THANKYOU!!! its been a while since ive had the motivation to like, draw or write anything for em but rest assured im thinking about them so so so much... youve activated my autism trap card though i have an INSANE amount of convoluted opinions on the nature of character dynamics between sigma and sombra as well as sigma and moira and im taking this opportunity to babble about it. sorry in advance.
as for the interaction, personally im of the opinion that said 'tests' are literallly.... just tests. as in like, yknow, bloodwork, scans to make sure the implants and augments he has are actually working to redirect excess pressure and kinetic energy from his vital organs when using his abilities ... ive talked about how i think that sorta stuff works more in this post but tldr is that a lot of the tech and equipment hes using is of his own design and VERY experimental, hes pretty much flying blind here so he kind of has to make changes as he goes and so it's kinda important that his health and safety are taken into account. and he also has a bit of a uhhh. demonstrable history of disregarding his own safety for the sake of his research. it would kind of make sense that theyd be going out of their way to make sure someone stays on him about actually doing the damn tests and keeping track of the results. it just so happens that he's really averse to letting just anyone Examine (tm) him because of. yknow. the everything. and moira happens to fit the bill of being A. someone he feels he can trust to not take things too far (whether or not he's making a good choice here is up for debate, but i think he could do worse) and B. actually have a degree of knowing what she's doing. i definitely think that the only reason she's bothering at least initially is her own curiosity about everything he's got going on, but he also does just really feel like the type to jsut kind of naturally be very endearing . ive said before that a lot of their interactions read as playful to me, at least on his end - he DEFINITELY sounds like he's messing with her on purpose. i think he does genuinely regard her as a friend, and for the most part, he's probably right - even if she's a bit cranky about it. i have a LOT of thoughts about their relationship too honestly probably far too many to cram into this one post LMFAO i think about the dynamic a lot. im a moira apologist idc i think that she is capable of being nice sometimes. just because shes kind of a cunt sometimes doesnt mean shes needlessly cruel, like not only do i feel like messing with his head and experimenting on him given his history would be kinda kicking him while he's down. but ALSO, i feel like she's smart enough to know that making him an enemy would be a baaaad idea. he can literally explode people with his mind. she knows better than to give him any reason to be genuinely mad at her, and i do think he would absolutely NOT tolerate any kind of treatment like that ever again unless it was on his terms and he had the power to just leave if it got to be too much. even as it is, i think the entire process is a bit of a sore spot for him and not exactly something he's thrilled about, hence his hesitation in that interaction - not because it's happening against his will so much as he's regarding it the same way i think about having to go get blood drawn. it's not fun, but it's gotta happen somehow.
all that to say, i think upon overhearing discussion of said 'tests' without further context mattra would NOT be happy about it, likely getting defensive the same way sombra does. he'd probably be a lot harder to dissuade than she is tbh, i dont know if he'd really take moira's word for it that there's nothing underhanded going on here unless sig told him so himself, and even then it would still put his hackles up. he's probably very nosy about it for a very long time. just to be safe.
as far as nicknames/pet names go, in my mind theyre both very... awkward about these kinda things i guess if that makes sense? emotional vulnerability comes easily for NEITHER of them, between sig still recovering from decades of isolation and mattra just naturally being very guarded and bitter (for good reason!) and not used to outwardly expressing his care for others, especially not for some random human who seems to have decided that they're friends. to me, their dynamic is very much one of tentativeness and battling with distrust and insecurity. i think it would take a very, very long time to get there, and even longer to actually be able to casually say stuff like that without wanting to explode and die on the spot. i do think sig is a bit more outwardly affectionate than mattra, but even then, a lot of it is kinda tempered by the fact that he's just very forward with everyone about everything at this point - he's kind of desperate for positive connections with others that he can hold onto, so he's reached a point where it doesn't take much to get him to consider someone a friend and he's not exactly hiding it anymore. oh, i dropped something and you picked it up before i had a chance to? sick, we are now besties and i would kill for you.
i think that sort of attitude would catch ramattra off guard and he'd not really know how to react to any of it. sig could call him anything at this point, but if it's in an affectionate tone he WILL bluescreen about it. ramattra.exe has encountered an error and must restart
i do really like sig's valentines voiceline, so i might just roll with 'starlight' even if it's a bit cheesy... hell, now that i think about it, i think he'd do that specifically BECAUSE it's cheesy and will probably elicit an eye-roll or a 'stop that'. he seems to enjoy pushing people's buttons. maybe bothering his friends is his love language idk
#SORRY if none of these are sufficient answers i am in a rambly mood tonight and this#got me thinkin and thonkin#thankyou so much though i love excuses to talk about them. im so normal about them#overwatch#sigmattra
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HELLO!!! gosh im so bad at using tumblr aside from reblogging so this has been a long time coming but i came to say U R A POET!! i found your acc when u had like 2 ? fics out and i remember reading “if i fell through the floor i would keep falling” when it had 90 notes and feeling like someone had put their hand in my chest and ripped my heart out…. i was so confused how it didnt have 100000000 notes?!?! i am still confused now. it’s some of the most beautiful writing ive read (& i don’t even really read for geto so it was such a random find but i am so grateful). my favorite line was “he figures he can give you this one thing, at least.” there are so many heartbreaking ones in that piece but this one was especially so. it’s crazy to me how well you painted the scenes, it really felt like i could visually See every moment.
anyways, i rediscovered your account a few days ago thanks to “i can’t close my eyes alone” and i am BUZZING with excitement at how large your masterlist is (seeing many hurt/comfort fics and u absolutely KILL at that genre omg) i cant emphasize enough how excited i am to tear through it!!!! no way i get any sleep tonight. also sleeping in a bathtub is so horribly senseless that i relate deeply. i would also make a decision like that in anger and commit to it. my favorite line from that work is “sincerity and honesty are things that have been used against him all his life” 💔💔
please expect another longwinded message once i get through all your new works!! thank you for sharing your art
- duzhee
HI HELLO!!!!!!! god i KNEW your user sounded familiar……. i was like ”duzhee hmmm where have i heard that before … 🤨🤨” i think u were the first person who rbed that fic w tags actually, it made me so happy 🥺🥺 i still have a screenshot of it saved in my lil motivational folder <333
im so happy u found ur way back here, u have no idea!!!!! and gosh literally everything u said is so so sweet and thoughtful im tearing up T_T that geto fic still has a v special place in my heart, so i cant tell u how glad i am that u enjoyed it!! especially since u dont read geto often like thats such a huge accomplishment to me….. aaa u even mentioned ur fave line!! its my favorite thing to hear ever 🥺🥺
and the gojo fic!!! im so happy u liked that too!!! im super duper weak for hurt/comfort so its so flattering to me that u think i write it well?!??? u r so so sweet. tysm again for mentioning ur fave line it gives me like … an outrageous amount of happiness when ppl do 😭😭😭
AND HONESTLY DUZHEE… the only reason i made reader sleep in a bathtub is bc i wanna do it myself so bad LMAO i love sleeping in unconventional places like i love nothing else <333
ah and and and !!! honestly having someone call my writing ”poetic” is just ……. The most flattering thing ever???? u r genuinely such an angel, tysm for taking the time to write this out 🥺🥺 it made my morning!!!! i am EAGERLY looking forward to another longwinded message from u <3333
#i like to think my writing’s improved since i wrote that first fic so hopefully ull enjoy the rest too!!! :’3#i hope ur day is the loveliest coziest ever!!! sending u allll the good vibes 🌻🌸☀️🍪🌱💐#this really made me so happy <3333 i cant thank u enough !!#ask tag ✩
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March 15, 2023
This is the only note I have in my phone since I dont have my physical journal & I think it would be very helpful for me to write my feelings out because I know above this note I can look and pray for strength & guidance. I know nobody will ever see this since this is personal to me & these are things I can keep and share to myself. I’m going to title these “letters to my absent bestfriend”. Since I cant talk to you & I can’t be with you, these little personal notes are the things i wanted to tell you but could not. So i’ll keep them to myself here. I’m not a big technology person like i dont know or payed much attention into how these things work but i hope they help me let go. Today was a tough day. Work had something in the atmosphere that just made me want to leave, i felt like i physically couldnt stand being there & i hated it. This is the latest ive gotten
out & it was just tough. I tried my hardest to keep my head on straight & be me. But how can i be me when part of me is missing? After work, I almost drove to your house. Our song came on in my shuffle playlist “tuyo y mio” & I just couldnt i literally broke down, this was the first mental breakdown ive had since you been gone & all i wanted was for you to hug me & tell me it was okay. Maybe the whole relationship it seemed like you loved more, but going through this really showed that i loved more…. i did so many things for you that i didnt even notice & that’s why im more broken than you. I always said a bunch of things i didnt mean but i always did things you probably didnt notice that made your my priority. i always preached to you about loving yourself first, meanwhile i always loved you before me & i think that’s what hurts me the most. i did so much for you, literally everything i did was for you. the reason i got into engineering was not for me, god knows it wasnt for me & my interest in it was depleting everyday but i sucked it up and did it for you, for us, so that i could take care of you in the future like you would take care of me now, so that we wouldnt have to struggle & you were able to have your house with your golf course & your truck and our family. i didnt care about the sleepless nights, i didnt care about all the pain & all the stress because my motivation was you. i went to work & strived to be the best so that i can save up money & we wouldnt have to worry about things, i didnt care if you gave me a piece of paper that said “happy valentines day” or “happy birthday” or “merry christmas i love you”, i genuinely did not want any gifts from you, i didnt care about the chores you did for me, i didnt care about any of that i just cared about you. i just loved you & if i had to live in a box for the rest of our lives i would of done it happily because it would of been with you. i guess maybe i just didnt know how to love, i didnt know how to express it & would push you away to test whether you loved me as much as i loved you, but maybe that was too much for you & i needed to see that it’s not the way to show love, but that’s the only way i knew since i was always pushed away when i was younger. maybe when i was figuring out how to love you, it was too much for you, maybe if i had been a tad less in love it wouldnt hurt me as much. i’d wake up everyday and think of you, i’d think about what you were doing at work, about how your day went, if you had a good day or a bad day, i always wanted to let you into my my heart & see for one second how i see you, maybe then you’d understand what you mean to me. but i always had my guard up because i was scared, i was scared of how much love i had for you that it made me frightened because if i ever lost your love i’d know i’d never survive so i always had a little wall up that you’d manage to climb through every so often and those were the peaks of our relationship, but i guess my wall did have a purpose because at the end look at where we’re at now. i still love you & i will always love you but i dont see you the same anymore, i know it’s my time to let go but i wish we can erase these past two years & go back to the good times, the great times. i loved you so much i came back from SF for YOU. was i ever gonna tell you that or even say it out loud? no because how pathetic would it sound for me to say i left the greatest city that brought me peace & tranquility to be with someone i love, who can leave me & hurt me, how would that have sounded ? how would it have sounded that i lead my life with my heart while i preached for others to lead with their head? i love you & i always will love you, if only we can switch spots for a day would you see that i always loved more & maybe you’d understand why it’s so hard for me to let go. Letting go of my past relationships were easy, but you, nobody i meet in my lifetime will ever compare to you. youre my soulmate, my other half, i feel it so hard & i feel it so much… but i have to let you go. i have to let you be free because
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Hi, im going through something. Its gonna be long so im sorry in advance, i just really needed to get this out of me. I really dont think some people can comprehend what fangirling means or how it affects your life or it actually comes at a point where you needed it the most thats why you develop that obsession. I KNOW it seems stupid to everyone but my obsession with any celeb, band, fictional character, show, team or sportsperson came at a point when i needed it the most. To help me get through something that i was genuinely hurt and scarred by and couldnt stop thinking about. So i ran into the way of that obsession. Which is exactly what happened with my formula 1 but specifically daniel ricciardo obsession. I swear to go god he was the getaway from my depressing thoughts and ideas and the sickening headspace i had been on for months. I was the most heartbroken and hurt ive ever been in my life and at a mind where i thought noone could never love me for who i am bc im not worthy. Then i started to get involved with f1 and him. I needed to hold on to something that could make me busy in my own head and i could love and support and follow up. I SWEAR TO GOD nobody or nothing helped me as much as that man getting on that car every weekend or his silly goofy mood videos from past. You know that video with his nephew when he falls trying to say hi and daniel laughs and he falls and daniel laughs harder?? That was the first thing that put a genuine smile on my face and made me laugh in a while when i saw it. I had been the most silent ive been in my life during that depressing period and everyone around me was worried bc i genuinely lost my spark. But then i found myself talking about daniel, his funny moments, achivements to everyone around me, discussing it with such an interest and that was the only thinh that kept me engaged and happy. And mostly for me, those obsessions or hardcore fangirling slowly fades away in time when i start to heal. And i can tell you that him just being him helped me heal even tho this year was also one of his most struggling seasons. But im not ready. Im just not. Im absolutely sobbing writing this. Im not ready to let him go, neither from my headspace nor from that sport. It sounds so silly when i say this but he means so much in my life. Im just not ready and i dont know what to feel other than that wave of sadness
this!!!!!!!!!! you’re absolutely right about everything you said and i couldn’t agree more. I’ve been going through so much this year and literally the only thing keeping me together is a man driving a car even though he mostly had shit races, i needed a distraction and he’s there and seeing how he gets up after every fucked up race and can’t wait for another race weekend gives me so much motivation to this day. and seeing how he needs a break, i understand that, i really do. hopefully he’ll still be around and give us more videos and we can still connect with him i guess.
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your alive! where have you been you dont respond
dude honestly fucking scrapping the barrel to keep moving forward.
in my 2 and a half years of being absent for the most part to keep it short i was engaged and i broke up with them landed on my ass went through 2 shit relation ships after. i went through an outpatient rehabilitation program twice i moved back in with my parents removed myself from every social aspect of my life other then 1 game and tried to deal with my mental health .
but all that and im finally on my feet again, ive been clean from drugs and alcohol like completely clean for 2 month, im finishing my school, im in a healthy relationship with my partner that i can write paragraphs about and my mental is finally starting to feel a bit stable to the point im feeling happy and motivated enough to dip my toes back into the communities and friends i left as a result
as for the people i never replied to i genuinely i am sorry i just had life piled up and with my drug and drinking habits i was just not a good person to be around at the time but im better and to anyone that would want to begin again im always here especially now that i have a grip on who i am again and it really does mean the world to know that even when i was gone some of you kept up with my blog and checked in even if i wasnt fully here
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Im so in love with the way you write its insane, your au fic genuinely has to be one of the best pokespe fics ive read !!! Im so excited to see how the plot progresses !! merry christmas btw
Hiii merry Christmas to you too!! Ive been busy w uni but I can't tell you how happy your comments have made me!! hahaha it's so motivating and thank you so much and wishing you the most merry holidays 💕 🎄
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nervous energy ft. personal issues (warning: long af) under read. but really im fine! just nervous <3333
so actually. for those who dont know, i'm 25 right? and im asian. there is some cultural context in there but im not gonna elaborate. but like, in december 2022, i was on this job — i was an assistant producer for a documentary company — and i... long story short: i really did love the people we interviewed, the places we've been, and the crew i was working with. but at the same time, the very person who was from my company (cause we outsourced most of our crew) really.... sorta really did me wrong. and ah!! im crying again writing this a little haha. but like, what i got away after quitting the job was that i was .... just this horrible fucking co-worker.
and the thing is, i know i did good. i know i did the best i could with what's given. like i was on my ass everyday arranging the people / the places we're meeting (bc we're dealing with a lot of academics and historians and museum curators etc), making sure the documents are settled and prepared, and having to be on top of the crews' general health whilst making sure we were wrapping on time so we can get to our next location. like!!! i really wanna believe i did well. but i also know i made some mistakes bc the miscommunication between me and my co-worker was so, so bad. and it just.... it left me so scarred.
and i kept thinking, you know. it's me. if i wasn't such a bitch, maybe this wouldn't have happened. but i also know logically its just honestly horrible miscommunication, and it was both our first experience on a back-to-back travelling documentary (hes like,,, 35+ male btw). and my co-worker and i did sit down and talked it through, but i still.... i left that meeting for some reason, like. not the same. like idk how to say it. i got home, and i had one of the most awful breakdown i've ever had. (like, to the point i got nervous trying to pick out a shirt to wear bc i didnt know how to dress myself.)
long story short, ever since i quit my job (ive been unemployed since jan 2023), i have not touched my computer for almost two months. i was so genuinely scared of it. making rhea in late february i think was like, the first courage i had to open up my laptop, and i'm so happy i did, and i'm so happy the friends i did gather here were welcoming as hell. you guys will have no idea how much everyday you guys encouraged me to do something else besides just.. mourning for my fate. i got motivation again to create because i'm writing with many of you. but the thing is... i've been trying to apply for jobs but i cannot do it. i can't. i can't open my email. i can't open my whatsapp. it terrifies me!!! and i don't know what to do, because i want to have a job, i want to keep moving forward, i don't want to always be afraid, but i am!!!!! i am!!! and im so sick of it!!!!
i want my parents to be proud of me again!!!! i had so much potential and i was so smart and i was so bright, i graduated with honours and 3.8 CGPA, and now what am i!!!! im none of those things!!!!! i feel like all i am are my mistakes!!!! and im so frustrated!!!!! and i want to get my shit together so i can provide for my sister and i can go out and eat with my friends!!!! but my god, even waking up sometimes is so, so hard. anyways .... i know this is long, but - if you're wondering why i'm slow atm, this is why! bc im rlly hoping i'll get a job by april :(( i'm okay though. i just. i need to let this out somewhere.
thank u for reading. rant is over :')
#GENERAL: OUT OF CHARACTER.#so ....... its me? hi? im the problem its me?#but honestly .................... i just wanna find that courage again. thats all.#being terrified all the time is so scary. would NOT recommend
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okok hc or fic: reader was teiko’s “head” manager(?) and her talent was being a medic (if someone gets injured they’re back on the court in under a minute type thing) and training plans. suddenly momoi’s talent blooms, she starts working w/ everyone in the team (+ reader’s crush akashi) and people think she’s a better manager than reader. because of this, she overworks + collapses in front of her best friends kuroko + kise (don’t let akashi know yet i have plans for that 👀)
HELLO? YES OFFICER? I JUST FOUND A BANGER REQUEST RIGHT HERE? YOUR BRAIN IS SO BIG AND SEXY IVE BEEN DYING TO WRITE THIS🏃🏻♀️💨 part 2 here and part 3 here AND update: part 4 here
Akashi x Reader
[Teiko!manager Headcanons]
you had a knack of being a natural chiropractor in loosening up tense muscles instantly (for more fluid play) or easily putting in back dislocated joints
basically you have crackhands
in your free time as a hobby and a job as the “head manager” (that Akashi announced to the team himself), you’d often bury yourself in anatomy studies and gym plans on the internet and databases to review over Akashi’s team training routines to see if they were effective and safe; oftentimes, you’d return back with improved plans, and as time went on, Akashi entrusted you with creating the plans yourself completely
you took on the job so eagerly to impress the Teiko captain, if you were being honest to yourself
your enthusiasm even inspires Momoi, Teiko’s other manager, to work harder
no one in Teiko knows physiology better than you, and as expected, it was also your best subject along with health
Kise often looks at you in horror and respect at how you don’t cringe/flinch at the loud cracks resonating across the room or court when players come to you for instant relief (the origin story of how he came to call you (y/n)-cchi was the very fact that you manage to put back his dislocated shoulder in 3 seconds flat one game)
when Kuroko first joined the 1st-string, he was a walking magnet for injuries, and you ended up being there for him every single time… nosebleeds? check. sprained ankle? check. nausea from over exhaustion? check.
both you and Kuroko relish in the fact that everyone in the team can never understand how the both of you do some incredible things with your hands
both of you being quite dexterous, you both often teach each other your specialties for fun; it’s almost shocking to see Kuroko effortlessly loosening up a stress knot and you pulling off a well-done palm pass
you admit, you do juggle a lot of responsibilities… from being a makeshift nurse, to a chiropractor, to a budget gym coach, and even to being moral support
Momoi often reminds you to take breaks being the caring person that she is
you often showed her the ropes and tricks of being a manager, on top of your duties, and you find it really endearing that she’s so earnest in learning from you
even if you enjoyed doing what you do, part of the massive workload is to try to get into Akashi’s good graces
talking to him about basketball duties is easier to achieve than talking to him outside of the extracurricular
you might be a tad bit insecure about it; after all, what middle schooler is already so accomplished in academics, sports, and everything you could think of? wasn’t he also studying to take over his father’s company??
to you, who only starred as Teiko’s humble manager, it felt hard trying to establish common ground for conversation outside of basketball
so you stuck to working hard at your position, hoping that your work ethic would get his attention one day; you were a firm believer of actions over words, so you hoped your actions would come off as genuine
picture you and Momoi running across campus with stacks of papers for the team… it makes most of the teammates’ hearts melt at the sight
your work certainly got you praises from other teammates, but out of all players, Kise was the one who figured out your motive
you felt absolutely morbid; to think that Kise, of all people, would figure you out like the back of his hand
Kise being sweet as he is, offers to help you get with the captain but you merely prompted to threaten to break his arm if he spilled your crush to anyone else
“(y/n)-cchi… I’ve been thinking.”
“Yes, Kise?”
“It’s really cool that you’re working so tirelessly for the team, but I can’t help but wonder if there’s a reason why you work so hard.”
“O-Of course I do! I want to see you guys all succeed!”
“Then I’m curious as to why you always look at Akashicchi—o-ow, ow, ow!! (y/n)-cchi, I’m sorry! So can you please let go of my—ow!”
“H-How did you know?!”
“I-It was as obvious as day, (y/n)-cchi! I’m pretty sure even Kurokocchi found out about this before I did!”
“N-No way!!”
“Tell you what, I’m super duper knowledgeable in this stuff! You can count on me for this sort of advice—OW!”
spoiler alert: Kise was right in that Kuroko definitely noticed your attraction to Akashi before anyone else… he just never brought it up to you
one day, Kuroko comes up to you to whisper:
“(y/n)-san, have you realized that Akashi-kun has been observing you recently during practice?”
“W-Wait! Is he looking over here right now?”
“Not that I think. He’s occupied with the coach right now.”
“D-Do you think this is a good sign?”
Kuroko gives you a small smile before he replies, “I would like to think so. Keep working hard, (y/n)-san.”
and you do, you’re constantly on top of your game for the next season until Momoi suddenly gets more recognition for her “precognitive defense” skills
her newfound talent was extraordinary and never-before-seen, and her ability became more critical to Teiko’s victories than your own skills
you were happy and proud for her, because after all, her achievements were extremely deserving to be praised
it’s only when some 1st-string players started making offhand comments about how you weren’t really needed in the 1st-string and was more suited to the lower strings that placed seeds of doubt into you
these people would often compare you to Momoi in how she improved much more despite you being in the team for longer
there’s also talk about how your skills are more useful for 2nd-string and 3rd-string players because Momoi’s ability is already sufficient enough for Teiko’s starters
after all, how would a player even be injured if they can predict their opponents’ moves to avoid such incidents?
there’s also the fact that Akashi has been calling Momoi more frequently to research on upcoming teams for analytical data because her talent has become very useful to ensuring victory
the same peers and adults who gave you praise were the same people who began to ignore you or dismiss you; that being said, the collective change in attitude is definitely subtle enough that it would fly under most people’s radars
Kuroko was the first to notice and defend you against a small group of players who were bold enough to badmouth you in the gym
Kise would find out a little later about the somewhat unpleasant gossip about you and would pull the “no you” reverse card, returning back with MEANER underhanded comments that would send these shit talkers CRYING HOME (manga Kise strikes here unexpectedly eh?)
Murasakibara is someone who would be slightly uncomfortable with the gossip about you, especially since you’ve always been so helpful and kind to the team and himself; he’d either leave the room himself or easily scare them away with his looming height and presence without saying a single word when he enters the room “minding his own business”
Midorima is a bystander judging from how he’s reacted to the Teiko dynamic changes in the actual show // he, of course, wouldn’t like the nasty talk about you but would actually mind his own business, choosing to focus on himself and what he has to do to contribute to his team; he assumes that you would work hard the same way he is and let your contributions do the talking
now Akashi surprisingly wouldn’t hear much of the gossip, since his presence alone SHUTS them up and commit to their practices like normal; after all, it’s very clear that Akashi doesn’t tolerate this type of behavior in the team (example: Haizaki), and it’s more apparent that he wouldn’t hesitate to drop kick them out especially since he has a soft spot for you (which Kise never fails to bring this up to you, but you think he’s reaching too much into it) // TLDR; the teammates mostly have the common sense to not utter anything bad about you… maybe one kid would slip out and get punished for “bad sportsmanship,” but Akashi merely assumes that it’s just one bad apple and not necessarily… the many others as well
Aomine???? bro he ain’t even at practice wdym (HELPPP LMAOO) // jokes aside, if he catches wind of players shit-talking outside of the gym… say at the convenience store or when he’s walking home or something, well… they wouldn’t have a good time…
Momoi simply chastises the gossipers when they try to talk shit on you to make Momoi herself look good, and it leaves? such? a? horrible? taste? like, she wants to believe that they’re just really poor jokes and not what they really believe in, and the teammates merely reassure her that they’re just bad jokes and that they “wouldn’t do it again;” poor Momoi wholeheartedly believes them
the weird talks about Momoi being “the better manager” just signalled to you that you haven’t contributed enough to the team yet, and it motivated you to work even harder
oddly, you weren’t jealous of the fact that Momoi was receiving more positive attention than you
you were more afraid of the fact that you were going to get left behind, and this fear only tightened its hold on you when more teammates (who used to talk to you a lot) have changed their tunes when they speak with you now, compared to them talking to Momoi
and you felt that the Generation of Miracles would do the same too… including Akashi
it wasn’t an irrational fear for you because he’s already been calling Momoi a lot more frequently for help than you recently
so you even offered to mop the gym floors after practice, offered to stay later than usual to be the one to lock up the gym for anyone (cough, Kuroko) who wanted to practice whenever they wanted
at one point, you even tried to do what Momoi does: researching on upcoming teams and making your own predictions (that didn’t really work, and that cost you a few nights’ worth of sleep every single time)
not to mention that you still had regular school like any other student? you were the epitome of a mess
Kuroko was with you in the empty gym, you putting away the extra basketballs in the storage closet while he practiced his dribbling, until he heard a crash in there and a few basketballs rolled out the door
you collapsed right when you rolled in the basketball cart
POOR KUROKO HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO // he just tries to give you a piggyback ride as he abandons his plans of practice and tries to jog to the nearest local clinic
that’s where he bumped into Kise, who was heading home after an evening shoot when he saw the two of you
chaos ensue as Kise freaks out and Kuroko had to calm him down himself after answering the never-ending questions
at least the doctor there gave relieving news that you only collapsed from over-exhaustion and that the bruises from the fall were very faint
Kise makes a joke to Kuroko about, “What’s with you and (y/n)-cchi falling to the floor and fainting? You guys can’t be that alike.”
when you shortly regain consciousness, you were met with a… very stern Kuroko and Kise, who were both ready to hear your explanation and to scold you to oblivion
to your surprise, they were understanding; Kuroko understands the feeling of not being enough and working hard to meet other people’s expectations, and Kise understands the struggle of juggling multiple things in his schedule (come on, student, athlete, and model?)
they still scolded your ears off:
“(y/n)-san, you idiot. Why didn’t you ask anyone to help out?”
“That’s…”
“(y/n)-cchi, do you think we’re undependable?!”
“Er, no, that’s…”
you were still dizzy from the fall and the lack of proper sleep (and maybe nutrition if we’re being honest), and you were just a ball of stress
you kind of begged your best friends not to tell a SOUL to anyone about this incident, especially to Akashi… you didn’t want to look even more incapable in his eyes than you already were
they do agree on one condition: for you to take AT LEAST a day or two off school to completely recover and rest up (you reluctantly agree; besides how were you going to explain the bruises that can’t be covered to your peers?)
HELP WHY ARE KISE AND KUROKO THE BEST LIARS TOGETHER ON CAMPUS LITERALLY NO ONE SUSPECTS A THING… except Akashi, the ever sharp captain, felt something was amiss
especially since some Teiko players emanated a feeling of relief at the news of you not being here that day, or the next
Akashi would play detective sleuth and find out what’s really going on sooner or later
End Note: gonna cut this off here b/c I KNOW this anon got a juicy part two i FEEL IT
#kuroko no basket#knb x reader#knb#knb fic#knb fics#knb headcanons#knb teiko#teiko middle school#kuroko tetsuya#kurokocchi#kise ryota#kise ryouta#akashi seijuro#akashi x reader#akashi seijuro x reader#knb headcanon#midorima shintarou#midorima shintaro#momoi satsuki#aomine daiki#murasakibara atsushi
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I challenge you to pick five Tumblrs in your social circle and tell them something you admire about their blog!
Only 5? I could probably do 500. However, that's determined by what's considered my social circle. I'm often in my head being incredibly social continuously is really a challenge of mine. I'm always actively marching to something, my flame of passion when I have it, I can do some crazy stuff but it diminishes relatively quickly, so I try to cling. But I'll up your thing and list 25 of my fave people. Ask me this same thing in a Month, I'll keep doing 25, until I do all the people. How about that? (If anyone wants to be taken off mention let me know.)
@eligos-venator
- Has one of the most intelligent and sophisticated minds, I've had the pleasure to know. Literally admire all his aesthetics, work, head-cannons, ideas. It's only a benefit that the dude shares some OC characteristics to my own (Winning features). I really enjoyed the short-thread we did. It was incomplete, mainly because of my faults. I want to actually be better to give him a proper delivery and RP worth his time, but he's incredibly worth the investment of eyes.
@mischiefandmystics
- If there was a Mount Rushmoore of writers who kept me in this endeavor, encouraged me. Sun'ra is one of them. His characterization skills, writing, the delivery and how believable his character is, they're masterful acts.
@mishivymendi
- I wouldn't be nearly tamed or as creatively freed if it wasn't for this gem. She broke my shell, I really didn't at a time ever see myself being anything really beyond a smut writer, but Mishi not only saw potential in me, but brought it out. Her stories and world's she brings to life are so majestically colorful.
@asymphonyofash
- My go-to. He's another pillar individual who saw things in me past just the obvious perception, (Probably second longest XIV RPer I know.) Taught me a lot of the lore, I shot him up and he's sort of become my stapled rock. He's right aside Sun'ra met them about the same, both took me under their wing's as I quietly observed and absorbed.
@lavender-hemlock
- We're always up and front with each other, never feeling like I couldn't say anything around, extremely rare to share that these days. Her gif's are legendary, something on my own terms I want to soar in quality. The writing she does is astounding. Character has so many mysterious pages that are quite addictive to want to explore and learn them.
(Encore 20 below-cut)
@under-the-blood-moonlight
- Her sweetness and artwork and overall is just a friendly presence to be around. I cherish them so much. One I can jive with more darker undertones with. She's one the most hardworking and ambitiously creative people. I'd mail them infinite hugs if could. Thanks for being you!
@roxinova
- I owe a lot of credit to her. She's constantly OOC and everything was nudging me too be more inclusive to things and involved heavenly. It's rare for me. I'm really horrible about that my autism sets me back socially, I constantly will be drowned by the next day and be reverted back to better off alone, that's my major crux and weakness. But her thoughtfulness, these things, aren't ever foreign to me, I do pay attention probably better than any would ever give me credit. She's a beacon model to have as a friend.
@corpse-dancer
- Haven't ran into many words with them, but her character, screenshot game, expressiveness, they're all a marvel to constantly see, alongside her attitude and bringing life character. I do think if I were better, we would click quite splendidly. They've recently reminded and motivated me to pick-up my daily-practice, or try too. Keep being a rockstar.
@fair-fae
- Few who wouldn't know who she is in this community. She's been in my opinion a huge core. I'm certain she's inspired many who weren't even RPers too try it by seeing her at the Quicksands or elsewhere, a tyme ago. Making no exception, I was even one of those. I used to be in QS every-single day and was often doing my shameless stuff. Though her presence first did show me there's a lot more. I admire her in all fields. Also appreciate her adopting me to the FC and her always thinking of others and giving events, or her aesthetics and portrayal, its the epitome of swan elegance.
@thorcat
- One of my most treasured friends. Been RPing with them for a longtime. There's never anything complicated between us or a rift of drama, it's just let's go and have fun. We really mesh well, I've welcomed nearly ever character and got the privilege to RP with nearly all them. They always open up envelope and help me, settle on back and just laugh. Whether used to be waking up to their characters humping my afk one or use randomly having a hardcore banter between Ufah and Captain and capturing them as a voidal pet. Memories with them isn't something I'd ever want to lose. I love ya! Never stop enjoying life for anything.
@lukawarrioroflight
- I get in the gutter find myself lacking motivation or writing, discouraged even... But I never have felt, I could ever do any wrong with this person, they bring the light out of me. So no matter what, how many hospital-beds I yearly visit, it's because of this rare nature, that I come back, even if they're the only one's ever to read my stuff. I would do it for them alone.
@scholarlybreadbun
- I've only been back recently and they've so much warmth. Their presence is the sun of inviting. The couple and posing all the shipping that stuff makes me even melt. I'm not particularly talented in regards to posing couples, but I took notice of them along time ago and set on quietly improving. Really like them for them, wouldn't ever want them to change that. Ideally look forward to be in their orbit longer so I can bask in them.
@seascrapes
- Been mutual with them for a while. Their aesthetics and character is all S+ level. I appreciate throwing back tagged prompts with them, one of many people I really think would be enjoyable to collab with any other seafarers. The artwork and pieces of Tal Brook, are breathtaking as ever exceptionally too, not to mention. Love your stuff matey, you're a king.
@mai-takeda
- Is a myth. Her absolutely sheer friendliness and her attitude, are so positive influencing, I was so thrilled to be welcomed with her and boosted by them early on. I couldn't see myself, wanting to exist where they didn't have happiness like the same she always delivers by just doing so many soft-things. Not to mention her writing... She's a whole world to throw yourself gazes
under.
@zhauric
- It doesn't go far either without the same breath of Mai, I could say about Zhauric. He's someone worthy to look-up and also recognize they're passionate and inviting, hoisting up literally everything. Could easily find any of their characters comrades with my own, or jiving alongside. Not to mention last XIVWrite, they slaughtered it. So enjoyable to read them all. I like how organized their blog is too, motivated me recently to redux my entire thing.
@cadrenebula
- They have so many diverse characters and their entire roster is vibrant and is imbued with a massive flux of life. They are able to encapsulate so many character's voices and portray them so effectively too, I really admire that greatly. They've made me think bigger and try myself recently at actually undertaking a huge roster of characters too. I've taken many breaks, but I always am so graciously returned often with them close-by and that's so incredibly sacred. I've seen a lot of people get discouraged or quit, leave, departure, etc. But they always seem to have a bigger house then they had last I took a break and I enjoy peaking in.
@silvernsteel
- Her artist and gif-work are awe-aspiring, there's little unrecognizable by her photo-sets and edits. They helped me even tip-toe into uncharted with giving me the recipes to try incorporating gifs into my arsenal. Plus so delightfully pleasant to actually talk with and just chill. I want nothing less in life, than the beauty they give, to be returned to them for eternity in all their glorious air. If ever needed anything of me, they've got me.
@spotofmummery
- We talk about passion or friendliness or overall a person to even remotely try to be, I got to include them. Their web-series and writing, screen-work, everything they do is fantastic. And that's furthered back nearly any I've met showcase or immortalize how just genuine of stellar person they are. I wish them always the energy to create and sparks.
@snow-covered-moon
- They've never been anything less but absolutely a diamond to know. I enjoy their character, their almost always abundant of energy that's very rub inducing. Their WoL character stories, writing, screen-shots, everyday they open up a new pandora box of joy, there's no mistaken love behind their character and that's infectiously easy to also enjoy something when the author does too. Always healthy to be around, I never feel short of vitality when they're close-by.
@letheofthelost
- Always cheerful or least encapsulates with me, they're a carnival ride. Just pure epic story-telling and engaging equally as passionate, constantly writing characters, not looking for anything outside of RP or anything really just being their selves, they fade all others. I love their presence, them as a person. Enjoy any character they'll ever come and throw under me, or a change of pace. Always feels easily understandable between one another.
@crow-iv
- Together we're an unfiltered, unstoppable wake of pure passionate writers and art. But I would say they're far ahead of me, in every regard. Already able to portray multiple characters in a scene and do such in-depth thinking, alongside even sketch or draw right afterwards or a scene. They're so talented, huge reason I set-out on giving them a Crew of cast and actual stories to-tell when I'm actually caught up and if they interested and we both have the room, I really think if further myself, I can be better and supply more for them to draw and I want to see them soar. I want to give them all my improvements and effectiveness.
@trishelle
- They've such a reinforcing personality and aura around them that easily bolsters anything that dares thinking they're about to be depleted so energizing. Aesthetics, characters, all them are so lively that further compliment their own mun's great welcoming presence. Worth hundreds of smiles and stars, keep high. Wish I had more time to dedicate to learning you! But I do notice and appreciate you.
@fracturedfantasia
- One of my people, I like to retreat and just talk my full
head-cannons with or learn, share insightful and inquisitive thoughts about philosophies and multi-culture things. Or plotting and in-general, they're a well of information and brimming ideas, they are every making of what makes a quality friend. When you can generally be open-about-all that's a real one right there. Their characters and tarot readings, I always would implore if they're offering. Thanks for giving me any-time. You're truly a treasure.
@violet-warder
- Never have even came to words with them yet unfortunately but didn't mean as a mutual, I haven't admired all their screenies, writing, or the aesthetics they bring of their character. Glamours is real end-game, I like all what you've done and put together. I care strictly about what represent and give, I don't want to see them ever think anyone want's them gone, they are abundantly so talented and possess things only they can deliver. I think recently came back too, and I'm glad to share, hopefully, overtime I can build you better up. Or eventually even talk, but I'm certain you are a busy-body person too, so we're relatable.
@layla-grey
- I have a lot of underline issues that set me back as a flawed person, but I've never not been anything but someone who's open, it's why I always do include my f-list in anything or etc. I'm not here to present this facade, and really don't care to be an image crafted by another. No one as of recently or now, am I close with as an RP partner or friend with then this stunning masterpiece. I never let-up on story-telling or anything so I can eventually use my Crew or other Characters, to give them anytime a master entertaining day, they push me to not be short-changed. IC and OOC I would devote my full attention too cause they've never shed from me. Didn't ever matter how much silence or anything, they're always around. And don't expect anything out of me or pressure. Just accept me and I equally share that sentiment, I want you to have everything in this world has to offer.
-----
This is just a fraction of people, I've paid attention, noticed or know. I've been around in this Community for many years. There's a lot of things I could say about it, more probably then anyone else. But what matters to me, is recognizing the people who are here, that work hard, build others up, support, constantly are a beam. I don't need to interact with everyone, to know when someone is generally out for good. Or they're out for bad I've learned inquisitiveness longtime ago, I had to survive and remain afloat.
I just go out and be me, and along the way, I get to find people like these, who help bring out the best me. I am nothing without these people, creators, writers, artist. I'm a terrible friend, horrible person, I don't have the energy to interact NEARLY with as much as I'd like with you all, If I could clone myself, or if things were different, I would drop it all to be in your orbits more if could. But, do know I appreciate you.
And even if you ever do depart from this whole community or anything, know that anything you share, or give, that stuff does matter, somewhere, someone was aspired, if nothing else, by me. ONLY you can give the worlds you see and I am thankful. Do love yourself.
#I acknowledge you#Love you#Keep doing you#Asks answered#I'm the one guy who's never not going to be filtered or unspoken#To many people have left or been broken#Don't you ever think about it.#There's so many many more#But I'll recharge for next time
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hello! ive been taking a break from shifting for a few months since i kept seeing people saying really unmotivating things about it and it kinda upset me but i don’t want to give up on it, do you have any tips for getting back into it/getting motivated again? thank you! <333
[thanks for this ask!]
first, i want to apologise for the wait in answering your question. it's been like 3 weeks since this sat in my inbox and i have no excuse for not doing it. [fuck i am so sorry]
now, to answer your question:
(1) consume related content!
it doesn't necessarily have to be about shifting. for example, if you're going to a fandom-related DR, then indulge in works that center on that fandom. fanfiction, fan animations, official art, omakes, whatever it is you'll find. when i had my mini-withdrawal period, the best way I've passed off my demotivation is to stick with familiar habits. i tirelessly swept through AO3 and ff.net for fanfiction, and made playlists to take my mind off of shifting, and just focus on what my CR had to offer.
i remember thinking, 'If I can't shift, I might as well pretend to be the main character instead, and what better way than fanfiction?'. I'd bookmarked so many self-insert fics, and even wrote some of my own. if nothing else, i had a form of manifestation through writing.
(2) browse through old shifting posts
i used to do this when i was bored, or simply not in the mood to shift. i guess you could say that it's a bit like walking down memory lane; some of the older content on shiftok are actually nostalgic and entertaining, for all that most of them aren't too...genuine, if you will. [fake shifters are still a sensitive topic for me lmao]
they're still amusing, especially pottertok. some POV's also give me new ideas for my scripts, sometimes. now, though—for the most part—i just skim through posts that provide actual shifting information. it's a bit disheartening seeing some of the comments, but it's good to know shifting creators on other platforms are still holding strong. either way, you can find a lot of knowledge and entertainment when browsing through the old shifting community.
(3) manifestation subliminals
one of the most important things that've happened to me are these godsent babies. subliminals✨✨
I'm not exaggerating. sometime in november; while I'd been incredibly busy with schoolwork, my motivation for shifting also decreased. i kept procrastinating on all my tasks, both personal and academic. i resorted to manifestation subliminals as something of a last resort, and lo and behold I'm still happily crying at the fact that they worked. when i listen to them, i constantly remind myself to apply the confidence one would have when answering a simple question like 1 + 1 = ?. i needed to push through with the assumption that yes bitch, i can do it. the law of attraction works wonders.
fuck, again, I'm so sorry for not replying ASAP. but i do hope this answers your question, and that it helps you out! much love and happy shifting ❤️❤️
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w/ midnight approaching i j wanna let yall know that this blog was genuinely the best part of my 2020. it's been a hellish year, but getting to meet & know writers like @deja-you (girl ur writing has a SPECIAL place in my heart istg. i know we don't talk much but ur presence on this site and on ur blog makes my life a lil brighter. even if the feeling isn't mutual i think of u as a good friend 💞❣) @daveeddiggsit (an actual ray of sunshine 🥺) @iknowthekoolaidflavor @wreakhavoconmacroissantdiggs @tinywhim & @biafbunny all of whose works ive been reading for as long as (or longer than) ive been writing for this fandom has been so incredible and heart warming <3 ur all such damn sweethearts and ilu
& then there have been the new mutuals that have popped up and brightened my life like @commandersmiley @braidedchallah @ramp-it-up & @moondustmemories @summerofsnowflakes @raiseaglasstothefourofus (i know we don't chat much but ilu all sm 🥺)
& @id-do-it-for-free-babe @peoniarose @ohsoverykeri-blog (idk where the hyphens go in ur url ill fix it later) & @cloudynblw
then there's @einfachniemand who literally hypes me more than ANYONE else and is probably the most supportive person on this entire goddamn site ❣💕 i would give u the world if i could but alas i do not have that kind of power
and @youunravelme whose asks and notifs MAKE MY ENTIRE LIFE. u don't even know and i can't explain bruh i get like 80% of my serotonin from getting notifs from u and hearing ur thoughts in my inbox. it's the absolute best. u have made my 2020 like 80% better. i can't emphasize this enough you make me so happy.
and maybe (just maybe) im abt to mention @tinywhim again who is absolutely the kindest most gracious person alive i swear 🥺 also she wrote my absolute outright favorite thom fic that i have ever read (and yes, i have read quite a number of them since 2016) and im now enamored w demon!thom
and ofc @the-lost-marauder 🥰🥰 as much as i adore every single one of my followers and mutuals, ur by far one of my favorite ppl to hear from on this site. your thanksgiving ball oneshot is still one of my favorite things to read on here and u have absolutely excellent energy. i feel like we'd probably vibe irl (also pls more secret relationship vp!thom content!!! pl ease !!!!!! i need it asap)
and yes im abt to mention @deja-you again bc she's such a fucking sweetheart. the literal embodiment of sunshine and cotton candy. idk what else there is to say here u just have the purest vibes i feel like ur the type of person to save a cat from a tree or have a bird land on ur shoulder. u just have that energy 🥺💫 then again you outright broke my heart w foreign affairs so idk i might have to retract all that 😤
& special s/o to @fentinatalin for having shitty taste in men. that's all.
jk jk ily natalie 🤧❣ have i ever told u that when u hmu on ig i almost didn't dm u back bc it gave me anxiety and i thought you'd think i was uncool on main??? anyway im glad i did hit u back bc ur a ridiculously excellent friend and i frequently forget ive only known u for a couple months???? i realized recently that ive picked up some of ur texting habits and idk how to feel abt it . anyway ily thanks for existing
also mega shoutout to @maniacmichele bc ik i haven't answered ur graph theory ask but that's bc ive been watching math yt videos to try and dissect it until i can figure out wtf it all means. ur smart as shit and i am in awe of ur math brain ty for taking the time to explain that graph theory thing bc i have spent literal hours nerding out over it
also to @marioverthere bc i know we don't talk much anymore (FUCK time zones) but meeting you and getting the chance to know u literally made me so happy (also ur the reason i started staying current w/ the hk protests so ty ao much for making me aware of that darling)
and to @softclowninghours for having THE PUREST energy. u probably give excellent hugs i can just feel it. i just know it.
and then all my anons w ur lil emojis and signatures, who i love and cherish -- i won't try to list all of u bc i WILL forget some and im not tryna do u like that but some honorable mentions:
🐥 anon, for being like half the reason i ever touch my draft of lobsterback (ur my motivation, inspiration, muse, etc. thanks honey)
🍬 anon, for being absolutely fucking adorable and an enormous sweetheart
🐺 anon, for being friendly as hell and also kinda fucking hilarious. ur asks always make me smile
💙🖤 anon, for being so so so damn kind and supportive all the fucking time (ily)
there are so many people and blogs and anons that have made an impression on me this year, so believe me when i say this is very, very, VERY incomplete; if we've ever talked, or you've sent me an ask, or you've ever interacted with my post, you deserve a spot up here so pls forgive me for having 3 neurons and not remembering to mention u as i hastily write this post
literally though i love and appreciate every single one of you so much. this sounds like a huge platitude but i don't know how else to say it because there are genuine thousands of u who id list if i had more time or energy. you're all excellent. thank you so much for being alive at the same time as me.
also s/o to disney and lin for releasing the obc tape bc fr thats the only reason this fandom came back to life
+ also HUGE shoutout to the person who venmoed me ten bucks for the fotp smut. i don't have ur tumblr @ since u sent everything on anon but yk who you are; your generosity means the world to me and i hope the smut lived up to ur hopes and expectations
++ also the anon who encouraged me to actually write my art museum au 😌❣ ik it isn't up yet but ive been loving it so much and i hope u like it when it drops
#have an absolutely excellent 2021#you deserve it#you're all the reason ive stayed alive all thru 2020#and im endlessly grateful#hzl talks#sending so much love 💞
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quick (positive) update !
(tldr; my mental health is improving, im gonna use tumblr on desktop from now on not mobile, fics are on the horizon, ic blog is still fun and i would like to keep it running, no more text post concepts, might make a little/big discord and/or amateur podcast - asking for feedback on ur interest in these)
since deleting the tumblr app my mental health is improving, and ive also started thinking about the au more every day! im getting more concept ideas for the first time in weeks and even am starting to get the motivation back to write some fics :o
because of this im gonna keep the tumblr app deleted and only use tumblr on desktop from now on - it just has more steps for me to acually go on the site by gettin out my laptop and stuff, so its no longer a default when im bored or disociating to just swipe to the app, and more of a conscious decision when i actually have things i want to post !
this is actually feeling rlly productive for the au since before i deleted the app i was worried bc i had had no concept ideas or motivation to write in weeks and even months, but now my interest and passion for it is coming back as im not so caught up in mindless scrolling and refreshing my inbox all the time
so yea ! jst letin you all know that things are good and i'll be around here again eventully prob with more ideas and energy for the au !
the ic blog is also something i still love to do and think is rlly fun so im defnitely keeping that alive ! i might still have a break from it for just abit longer but im gonna come back to it soon enough and hope some of you will enjoy it when we pick that back up again !!
another note that ive found writing out concepts just became such a chore that it sapped all my inspiration to even think of them - so in terms of text posts on this blog, i can't say for certain but at least for the foreseeable future i do not plan to write out concepts, only fics
but i still have concepts i would love to share - and the two things ive found i acually enjoy doing with concepts is either keeping them in messages with friends or even recording them in voice recordings
so i'm genuinely considering the folllowing two options for future little big concepts as i dont think posting them in text on tumbllr is working for me:
1) i create a discord server for little/big (open to anyone who wants to join) where we can throw out concepts in a more casual friendly conversational way and ppl can have more input on them because i much prefer the back n forth concepts to me just telling u things - this method is where most of my concepts come from in general from my discord with liv and bea !!
and/or
2) literally doing a rlly amateur little/big podcast HSDSHDJSD i'm not kidding honestly i much prefer talking out loud than typing (and before anyone else suggest voice to text programs i am aware of them but they just arent vibing for me) - anyway i would just voice record some ideas and post them somehow for ppl to listen jhsdksah
i know these are unorthodox but honestly its my au and this is what works best for me, i could do both honestly and will prob at least try them both
anyway let me know if anyone is interested in either of these !!
also i hope everyones been good <3 ive missed you and hope everyone is happy and having a nice june!
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