#but they are so unhealthy in such a dangerous way
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Here I am back with another request, anyway : "Headcanon"
Hazbin gals(all of them if you could, emily included) react to R that likes to follow then around. Reader was just on the couch and maybe Charlie or Lute or anyone had to go elsewhere and R just follows them, no particular reason just that R wants to be near them but not to the point of irritation.
I'm gonna make it for 5 of the ladies so it's not so insanely long BUT if you have any specific ladies you wish to see? You can request again! Hopefully these are good! Half of them I'm still learning to write for still-
Also! Sorry for not writing- it's summer and I've just been incredibly burnt out so been writing once in a while. Also. I didn't see the Emily part until after I wrote this- I'm sorry
Warning(s): slight angst in some parts but mostly fluff, all bur sera has drabbles
Hazbin ladies(charlie,vaggie,Lute, rosie and Sera) x reader: headcanons!
Charlie
By far the most excited about it- her lover(or friend) following her around? She 100% does it back! Like a lost little puppy she adores you by her side no matter what it is she's doing.
Just talking your ear off from the plans she has for the hotel. Future dates. Whatever comes to mind? She tells you excitedly just wanting to see your reaction. Her number one supporters option matters the most to her.
But because of that she gives surprises away.. to often.
"-then! After~ I'm taking you to that lovely bakery-" she went kn and on- walking as you trailed after her like usual. Smiling heartfully. She was doing it again- talking about the plans she had for your date tonight. From the beginjng of the day to now she was a bundle of joy- babbling about things you were sure your not supposed to know.
"-then I'll get on my knee and pull the box out-"
Your grin widen at that comment you heard. Humming you kept quiet no longer listening to safe the surpise. A proposal? Now that's something your more then happy to keep a secret from knowing
When she would babble you kept quiet. Not telling her the stuff you knew. No matter what it was. You knew how she was. How excitable shed get.
She did never find out she gave the proposal away
Vaggie
She's suspicious, as hell over, literally everyone. Outside and INSIDE the hotel. Understandably, so - given you both in hell. Doesn't matter if you're stronger than her. Or what you are
She will NOT. Allow you to wander off without you in her sight. No matter what. Especially since the hotel is a clear hot spot for danger. She'd actually lowkey ENCOURAGE you following her about. Inviting you places or if comes down to it? Following you.
Standing up Vaggie sighed cursing under her breath at yet another sexual comment Angel made. Scowling lowly turning glancing over at you- smiling in approval once you trailed behind her on instinct- which let to her ranting to you on what she encountered
"Do you wanna cuddle?" You spoke up leading her to your shared room watching her slowly relaxing.
Vaggie is a worrier. Even in her sights, she just looks around cautious everyone
To be honest- I think she'd prefer you following her around. Makes her "job" at being your protector so much more easier.
Worried about the what ifs. The when's. But she knows your strong- she's seen it. She just can't help but worry- after all. Your her lover. She can't help herself but worry.
Lute
We see her with Adam(assuming she's around him ALOT) she truly wouldn't be to bothered hanging out with ypu 24/7 cause she does love you and for her? Having you in her sights is better then assuming your fine and healthy
Of course it's not unhealthy - she trusts you'd take care of yourself. Trust that you're capable of saving yourself if it comes down to it. But it means a lot to see you wanting to be with her-
Lute adores it- she won't SAY it but she feels prideful when you wander beside her. Following her everywhere
"So.. where are we going~?" You hummed, snickering at her jolt, ignoring the glare she sent your way, grumbling loudly at you. You were just asleep an hour ago. Now here you are trailing after her as if you didn't just see her a while ago
"..training. come on if your up you can work out."
It's also not like she does the same thing either. Just instinctively trailing you- just anywhere either of you are? The other is certainly close by
Rosie
Honestly like most ladies in the list she may actually prefer it- after all her town is full of cannibals itching to dig into you. Literally-
Doesn't matter if your a lover or not. They'll be tempted or swayed in a way to try and take a bite. But if Rosie is around? They'd never attempt it. Never dare upset her.
Rosie also takes this chance to use this as a tea spilling time. Talk about the latest drama. The rumors- anything and everything the two of you share together no matter what it is.
A laugh escaped you both as you ate your share of the snacks she brought with "-oh darling I wish you saw it! Poor Alastor was covered in the flour~ he was so mad" Rosie laughed covering her mouth with her hand like usual grinning at you before smirking
"Oh~? Now I know that look~ the look of more tea~?"
Nodding, she hummed, sipping her tea before putting it down, "I heard.. from a certain soemone.. the king himself? Lucifer? Did it~ to win the..bet they had"
Sera
Now she's the only one so far on this list that will not let you follow her EVERYWHERE. she is a Seraphim. The highest level itself. The lord himself daughter(I think? May be wrong) so there's places she'd wish you could come but you just can't.
For yours and her safety.
She does not wanna be the next fallen. No matter how she adores you- she loves heaven- she can not commit a crime. Allow you in certain meetings witness things..
But she will allow it sometimes. Especially given her status it may be hard- to hang out with one another.
Sera never worries about your safety. Your in Heaven! The safest place(she has guards tailing you secretly worried about the impure influences that dome angels can have- adam)
Once in your shared home? Your free to follow hwr everywhere she is. It makes her happy seeing you constantly- makes what she's doing to ensure heavens saftey(dispite being not the purest option) so much more worth it.
#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel#hazbin lute#lute x reader#hazbin hotel lute#sera seraphim#hazbin hotel sera#sera x reader#hazbin charlie#vaggie x reader#hazbin rosie#hazbin hotel rosie#rosie x reader#charlie morningstar#Charlie morningstar x reader#hazbin vaggie
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some superpower/superhero au musings. that ideas been floating around my brain for a while. dont know where its going you know how my plot bunnies are but enjoy this sampler
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"Have you figured it out yet, Surgeon?" Robin smiles serenly. She sits on the stairs, knees knocking together, her elbows resting on them and her chin propped up on both her palms.
He scowls at her, eyes narrowed. Law knows what she means but he won't admit it because it would reveal himself to be knowable. "What do you mean?" He juts out his chin.
She doesn't buy his feigned obliviousness but she humors him. "Zoro's abilities. You have been trying to discern their nature, have you not?"
He exhales through his nose and looks off to the side.
"He would tell you if you asked." Robin continues and Law glances at her from the corner of his eyes.
"I know." He says. Zoro has said as much. But Law isn't going to ask, at least not yet. It's a matter of personal pride and spite. Law doesn't owe people favors, they owe him favors. He demands answers, he doesn't ask for them. (Bepo would be telling him how unhealthy that is right about now if he were here.)
Robin considers him, head leaning to the side. She hums. Out of all the Strawhats, Robin is the person Law would consider his equal in temperament which is to say, out of all of them he is the most cautious around her. From what redacted history of hers that he has managed to unearth, he knows they've had a similar development. She is calculating. Always listening, even without sprouting ears everywhere. He needs to consider his words carefully.
"You are a curious man." She tells him, chuckling good-naturedly.
Law looks at her from above. "In more ways than one." His lips pull into a sharp smirk.
"Indeed." Robin says easily. "Have you made headway in your discoveries?"
Law squints at her, trying to gauge her angle. She might be simply curious - which Law believes to be the least likely. It could be a test, trying to see if he lives up to his reputation - possible, thought Robin seems largely desinterested in people she doesn't consider to be a threat (an insulting prospect in its own right, that Law is no longer considered dangerous to her, but he did work hard to earn their trust so he supposes it is to be expected). Maybe it's caution - there is a reason Zoro's abilities aren't public. Many people with abilities don't bother hiding the intricacies if they even can. But Zoro does. Whether that is for his own safety or someone else's is yet to be determined.
"Some, I'd say." Law admits, trying to sound casual. Whatever Zoro's talents are they are subtle. He can rule out a healing factor definitively - even if it weren't a passive ability but one Zoro had to use consciously, Chopper is too concerned for him every time he is injured for there to be an easy fix. He has considered some form of super strength but ultimately ruled it out. Zoro was strong, occasionally supernaturally so but it was inconsistent. Law's leading theory on that front was some sort of adrenaline manipulation that would grant Zoro the ability of hysterical strength on command. He has yet to confirm that theory. The easiest would be to ask for blood samples but even with everything, Law knows they aren't quite there yet.
Other possibilies are some sort of enhancement, be that in reflexes or speed or general aptitute. Zoro is - as his alias suggests - a demon with a weapon and almost impossible to beat one on one. He is fast but Law wouldn't say unhumanly so. A common public theory is that - as his name suggests - Zoro was either posssessed by or possessing someone and the otherworldly entity of whichever nature granted him his abilities.
Law had dismissed that one easily. Possession would indicate different personalities and quirks but Zoro's body language and fighting style are consistent - even when using something other than a sword. If he was possessed it was permanent.
He had considered the possibility that Zoro was normal. Well, as normal as any of them. Many of his talents could be chalked up to rigerous training and experience. Perhaps he had started young, had the natural talent and dedication to keep up to speed with other super powered individuals. From knowing the man, Law can entertain the idea. But there are too many things that trip him up. Too many things that don't make sense if Zoro truly had no other abilities.
Law has been staying with the Strawhats for a few weeks now and there are some things he has taken note off. Pieces of the puzzle he is sorting into piles before he knows where they connect.
Zoro trains, a lot. Both with weapons and without to the point that Law is quite sure that whatever ability he has is unrelated to his weapons. He's just as dangerous with his swords as he would be with Nami's staff. It's not a surprise. Zoro takes a lot of pride in his body and his prowress.
More confusing are Zoro's other eccentricities.
Zoro doesn't touch things. Law is almost mad it took him so long to take note of it. Obviously there are times when Zoro does. Out in the battlefield, doorknobs, light switches. Technically, literally, he does touch things. But at home, in the space he feels safe, Zoro goes out of his way to avoid touching things. Law would believe him to be a germophobe of some sort if he hadn't seen the man lick blood of his sword. So, no. It's probably not about germs. He just doesn't touch things in a casual way. He doesn't read books or magazines, doesn't use a phone, at most he will make himself tea or pour himself a glass of something to drink. He doesn't cook, nor does he do the dishes. For all Zoro and Sanji bicker constantly, Sanji always prepares his meals, even small snacks and doesn't nag him for not cleaning up after himself.
It might be a trauma response. Maybe he is sensitive to textures for unrelated reasons. Law can't quite define what to make of it yet.
Another thing is that none of Zoro's clothes are store bought. It seems innocuous but once Law noticed it, he could not let go of it. The Strawhats were vigilanties so money could be tight on occasion but he knows they aren't above stealing if they need or want to. None of the others seem to have a similar clothing style. Nami in particular wears fancy brands and designer clothing constantly. So it's not a matter of supply. Zoro isn't so vain he would be particular about it either. Law has seen him wear all number of things, especially if a battle dragged on long enough to destroy his wardrobe. He isn't opposed to wearing regular manufactured clothes. He just doesn't if he has the choice not to.
Perhaps it ties into the texture thing. Law will have to pay close attention to it.
Robin is still looking at him, unpreturbed by his long pause. "If you need a hint, do let me know," He scowls and it makes her chuckle. "It's quite entertaining." She says.
"Glad to be of service." He grits out.
"I am just wondering why go through the trouble. It must be thrilling to you to try and unravel the mystery." Robin tells him and Law's breath stalls in his throat. Something in her tone makes him feel warm.
He swallows hard. "Hardly a mystery. An annoyance, more like." He says, dismissively. Robin makes an inquiring sound. "I need to know what you all are capable of to make plans. Keeping it a secret needlessly complicates things."
"But it's not a secret." Robin says, bemused and Law feels himself bristle.
"It's not exactly common knowledge either." He throws back.
Robin hums again. "I suppose not but if you are expecting a grand reveal, I am afraid you will be disappointed."
"Zoro already said it's not what I'd expect." Law says. Zoro technically said 'it's not a big deal' which hadn't been helpful at all. If it wasn't a big deal, why make a thing out of it?
"That is apt. I remember being quite surprised when I was told." She says and now Law knows she's teasing him. This whole conversation is pointless.
He huffs. "I'll find out, won't I?"
Robin smiles. "Will you?"
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Lamb OC: 'Woolhelmina' masterpost
Wilhelmina (english Guillaumine (lol))
"will helmet" or "willing to protect"
Woolhelmina's cult is one of safety and protection, the protection that her people never received.
Current design, it's changed a lot but I've slowed down iterating it. Her character is pretty cemented at this point.
Learn more about her below!
Backstory
Woollamina is the twin sister of the canon lamb, Lambert. She was taken as a baby and raised Ratau on TOWWs command. Because she was a twin, is wasn't certain which of them was the prophesied Lamb, so TOWW ordered her to be taken and kept hidden. 'If she was not then at least she would be able to bear more lambs' was his reasoning.
Lambert was left to their fate as decoy for the bishops to believe they'd killed the last lamb and prevented the prophecy from happening. Thus giving Woollamine time to grow and develop as TOWW's chosen vessel.
Mina's story revolves around her keeping her status as the God of Death hidden. She spent entire life serving TOWW but she never got to be a regular person. When he's "gone" she can actually start living her life. But then another thing stopped her. She's a god now, with new responsibilities and obligations.
Some magic stave designs
Vessel of Red Crown
Mina saw TOWW as a secondary father figure rather than a god and sought his approval constantly. The reason she wears her wool in ringlets is because it's what she thought he would like. Having that much wool is actually dangerous for irl sheep and is a fire and drowning hazard. She's risking her safety and wellbeing for a crumb of his approval.
TOWW and the dynamic with his followers is one big unhealthy family lol. Ratau is the useful disappointment
Aym and Baal are the golden children who are sorta useless but TOWW favors them because they look the most like him.
Mina is the scapegoat only daughter who bears the brunt of the responsibility for freeing TOWW but gets none of the accolades.
TOWW is the overbearing patriarch that everyone tries to please but he's too far up his own ass to see that they actually do care about him. He has a new 'family' of sorts that actually loves him to some degree but is too emotionally unavailable to acknowledge that. His failed sibling relationship caused him to keep his new 'found family' at an emotional distance.
Woolhelmina's Wool
The reason Woollamina grows her 'hair' and 'skirt' long is because she believed TOWW liked the way it looked on her. Specifically because he commented on it once when visiting him. It was during a particularly bad winter and Mina decided it was best to keep her wool long for extra insulation. Mina is a wensleydale sheep so her wool grew long already but she never kept it because wool is hot and heavy. TOWW rarely if ever made comments about anything not related to his goals of attaining freedom so his little remark meant alot to Mina.
The thing is, having such long wool all the time is very dangerous for a sheep because it makes it hard for them to cool down and is a drowning hazard. Even though she can swim, her wool will weigh her down. I like to think of this as a reflection of her devotion to TOWW.
Wool Care
Because Woollamina's is a longwool breed, her wool requires special care to maintain its crimp and luster. She can't use soaps or shampoo on her wool as they would strip her skin and wool of its natural lanolin. She does use it sparingly to maintain proper hygiene, though.
Because of the extensive care that goes into her long, white wool and hairstyle, Mina is *very* hesitant to get dirty. Bathing excessively runs the risk of ruining her wool and drying completely, with all her wool takes ***days***.
She's cold and damp, and weighed down by wet wool, but she has to let it all dry or risk fungas and unwanted plant growth. ( Seeds will readily sprouts on sufficiently moist wool, whether it's attached to a sheep or not lol.)
Most of, if not all, of Mina's clothes and bedsheets are made with silk to protect her wool from friction damage. (I'm thinking about adding silk bloomers to her wardrobe and fit. They are awesome for chub rub lol)
#cult of the lamb#cotl#cotl lamb oc#my art#cotl fanart#character design#Woolhelmina#my ocs#oc#oc art#my ocs <3#im going to continously update this post as needed.
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I’m literally at Disneyland, so imagine Miles and Gwen going on rides together, and when they reach the top, Gwen puts her face against Miles’ shoulder because I headcanon that even though she’s spiderwoman, and has to deal with heights on the regular, roller coaster heights make her scared.
Oh wow Disneyland no way 🤯 have fun!
And AWW that's a rly cute visual! Even though I personally can't imagine that Gwen would ever be afraid of rollercoaster heights XD Gwen must LOVE rollercoasters
I think Miles would actually have to web her down to her seat to prevent her from climbing out onto the hood of the front cart to stand up like she's surfing 🤣 idk I think our Gwendy is a bit of a daredevil.
I see something actually kinda deep and meaningful there about the idea that Gwen isn't always super careful with herself, maybe call it irony, like how you'd think she'd be more careful messing with dangerous stunts because of well, she's a Gwen Stacy. Maybe it's about the thrill, that keeps her mind off of it, because she's always gotten back up from a fall before, it's what makes her different from every other Gwen Stacy. Sometimes it's more of her curse that her body stubbornly refuses to stay down. Not to say she's... yknow...ever thinking of ending it, but I think thrill seeking/ignoring self care was an unhealthy coping mechanism for a while. But now her sassy sunshine bf will always be there to keep her from flying too close to the sun, and remind her to wear a seatbelt in the car 🥹
#atsv#spiderverse#across the spiderverse#gwen stacy#miles morales#spider man: across the spider verse#ghostflower#gwiles#gwen x miles
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Simon and Betty are not a healthy relationship model.
#jay jabbers#fionna and cake#fionna and cake spoilers#simon petrikov#betty grof#petrigrof#this is all I can say right now because I need to properly process the new episodes but like#holy shit they are so fucking bad for each other#I love them a lot and I think that their romance was absolutely authentic#but they are so unhealthy in such a dangerous way
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what's your opinion on fanfics about dnp? (more in a way of do you think that it's crossing boundaries and/or being parasocial)
i'm of the same mind of dnp in that phanfic is fucking incredible. it's an important and valid way to express yourself, as well as a building block of our community. i don't think it's crossing boundaries, as it's fiction. i don't see it as parasocial either--you're writing for you and others like you. most people don't want dnp reading their fics, it's not for them in a sense, it's for us.
i think dnp are extremely aware of fanfic and its value and place in community. they've always encouraged it, appreciated the support, and given us space about it. they're not ones to make videos about it and mock fans for it (which happened to some of our lovely fic writers here writing for other yt fandoms, and i'm so sorry about it). dnp are fandom culture people. they've written fic themselves! and published it in their book!
the word parasocial has been twisted lately to imply any fan support is unnatural and should be shamed, which is complete fucking bullshit. making art is always important and valued. and it is necessary for your existence as a human, but also for the thing you're a fan of to thrive.
the parasocial side comes in once you start believing you know this person. and that you're their real friend. when in reality, they do not know you specifically, and you are not their friend, you are an audience member.
so a parasocial relationship only occurs when people start crossing boundaries (digging for not publicly available information, contacting people in their personal life, showing up to their house, etc). which, is absolutely nowhere close to real fan behaviour.
tl;dr: phanfic is great, i love you fic writers, parasociality is a problem but not one that we have
#dnp have such a unique relationship w/ their audience in this way. it isnt parasocial bc it isnt like. too real? like they arent our friends#we joke and we meme but we Know that. but they Are a facet of our lives and we do care about them perhaps more than an average community#but they also care about us more than an average creator too.#we're extremely familiar with each other. but not in an unhealthy and dangerous way. just. aware.#its special. its fun.#like we even make jokes about dnp being parasocial with us sometimes lol#i hope im clear and it doesnt sound pointed anon but we've done the morality of rpf so many times in this fandom#on neutral ground any rpf is fine. but especially in dnps case where theyve actively encouraged it and are extremely grateful#except maybe when we haunted them with awful crack fics. but even then they still loved us for it. despite the horrors#dnp#c.text#dan and phil#answered
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when i see people with the same ugw as me but theyre taller i feel so bad about myself
#idk i just. a bmi of under 15 is considered where its far more dangerous#and im already very unhealthy so im just not sure i wanna go below that. i guess 5 more pounds would be that big a deal#ugh. my ugw was less than that before when i was younger bc i was shorter. ive been doing this so long ack#i used to wanna be 70 but i was shorter then and alwo didnt understand the danger as much and also didnt care as much#but at this moment i dont wanna die and u less i suddenly lose all my free time to do what i 3njoy i dont think thats gonna change#ugh. 80 wouldnt be that bad would it. ill see how i look once im 85 and then ill put effort into gaining muscle wnd losing fat before i#go qnd lower my ugw. previously when i weighed 105 my ugw was 90#part of me wants to lower it way more into the dangerous zone bc i know im never gonna look like a lot of the insanly thin ppl in thinspo#unless im very dangerously underweight but also.i will be so tired if i do that. and ill be too tired to do my favorite thing. and as much#as being skinny is important to its not the most important thing. simply being skinny usnt gonna make me happy and fix my problems#i wont be able to just look in the mirror and feel ok. but my fav thing does do that. and its always my top priority to keep that available
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sometimes I develop stock backstories for a particular character that I can tweek for a variety of aus because i just like the vibe. Like Cas growing up in a big religiously abusive family on an isolated farm and maybe murdering his dad in his teens and getting away with it (don't worry about it.)
Anyway one I like for supernatural generally is just like. The Apocalypse gets derailed entirely by accident and no one has any idea what to do now. On the one hand it's a very utilitarian thing. I wanna write early seasons fic without the looming threat of the apocalypse hanging over everything sometimes you know? But I also just really like that vibe. The fact that the world is never going to end as like a source of existential horror. Especially for this species whose purpose is entirely tied up in the apocalypse. What does a world look like when it's been abandoned by God and just keeps on going? The same as it always did.
I like to imagine the slow death of heaven as the debate on if they should restart the apocalypse and how rages, and as they try to figure out what went wrong and who's to blame the lies that sustain this system start to crumble. They find out God hasn't been giving orders for a long time and now the final thread of prophecy he left them has snapped and they're left floundering. Some dedicated few go searching for him but when it becomes clear he's not to be found and isn't coming back it all just starts to seem so pointless. The archangels are locked in debate over what to do next, middle management is just trying to keep dissent from spreading, and all the while more rank and file angels are just... slipping out the back door when no one's looking. They aren't needed in heaven, they aren't needed anywhere, what can they do but try to find some purpose for themselves? And what better example to follow than those small ignorant favoured creations who have always had to construct meaning for themselves in the face of the daunting prospect of free will?
That's where Castiel goes looking anyway.
My favourite version of this is one where he ends up making a Reverse Doomsday Cult.
#spn#castiel#spn angels#The World Is Not Going To End: What To Do In The Face Of The Horror Of A Perpetual Existence#technically he takes over a cult#see cause I feel like Cas#especially when vulnerable and in search of guidance#would easily fall prey to cult recruitment tactics#heaven is also a cult I think he would find it comforting and familiar and treat it all as normal#he would be oblivious to the danger signs at first#but see once he did become aware of the types of violation and abuse that occur in those kinds of organizations#well he's an angel he makes with the smiting#which leaves him with a bunch of people already primed and vulnerable due to the fact that they were in a cult in the first place#doubly so because many of those spared would of course be victims feeling a mixture of fear and gratitude towards#the man who has just very convincingly revealed himself to be OH YEAH a LEGIT Angel#super easy to just end up in charge of the cult#on the one hand Cas is a much nicer cult leader in part on account of how he came here to seek guidance From humans#So the whole thing shakes out to be a lot more democratic than all that#on the other hand there is no way Castiel knows how to differentiate between healthy and unhealthy community building#not to mention he would undoubtedly share the truth about monsters and the supernatural with his followers#and if they were at all tempted to say#bring their mission of doing good works in the world to that particular problem#or even just build up defenses around their safe haven#well now suddenly this fringe religious group is stockpiling weapons#and that does not look good
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ptsd and trauma made Bart think that pain is a little funny and thrilling <3
#⁽ ⠀ ⚡️ ⠀ ⁾ ⠀ ⠀ / ⠀ * ⠀ ooc.#// it’s the unhealthy coping mechanisms and warped perceptions#// went his whole life without significant perceived danger so now actual pain and danger is a little thrilling#// in a fucked up way#// he doesn’t enjoy it by any means but his shock response is not typical
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no body part is evil btw
#blocking terfs and so many of them are convinced that penises are evil and bad#if you feel that way you need therapy and i mean that. it isn’t normal to think a body part that half the people on the planet have is evil#if that belief is from trauma you need to handle it.#trust me! i have also had fears like that due to trauma! but those are things that therapy can help with#you shouldn’t normalize it and act like that’s a fine basis for your belief system because it’s so fucking unhealthy and unhelpful#having a penis doesn’t make you evil having a vagina doesn’t make you good you people are so weird#dove talks#generally the level of fear a lot of terfs (and radfems in general) just live with that they think is just normal is really sad#yes misogyny is something to be scared of. yes you can be scared of bad things happening to you because you're a woman.#but turning those fears into a deep-seated paranoia to the point you cant interact with men at all?#to the point you think everyone with a penis wants to harm you? to the point that you think all men are evil?#thats not healthy or something to normalize or encourage#ive seen some of the people really far down the radfem rabbit hole who believe in the idea of female separatism#actually say you should be scared of male children. *children*#not even teenagers. we're talking younger than 5 years old.#ive seen several people who believe in that say that even as toddlers. boys are dangerous to girls and they should be separated.#how can you think thats a normal thing to believe???#if youre so afraid of men (or those you see as men) that youre scared of male toddlers you need help full stop#also that can lead into very unsavory territory like not having sympathy for young boys who get sexually abused#ive SEEN people say that its not bad if a male child gets sexually abused because all males are violent and want sex always#i dont say this lightly but thats fucking insane logic. youre unwell if you think that. sorry#sorry for posting so many text posts with long rambling tags i have so many thoughts and opinions
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guilt sure is a motherfucker
#thinking about the way i used to live#thinking about how i was fucked up and unhealthy and actually dangerous#thinking about the acceptable ways to feel when i look back#and yeah i recognize the bad and i do feel guilty for that#i also miss it. and that isnt okay to say i dont think. and so i feel guilty for missing being that person.#ks talks
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I know there is so much wrong with me physically and I need to see so many doctors about it but I have literally no way to do that rn. And so of course my brain has started supplying some Very Questionable things to do in order to create an immediate health crisis for me so I can go to the ER and then use that as a way to start seeing actual doctors again. And it's like. Dude. What the actual fuck is wrong with you.
#the problem is that I don't manage my one money (against my will) so I have no idea-#-how to pay for things what my insurance is if we can afford it etc#and on top of that I don't have access to a family doctor/GP atm and can't find out if the school has any bcuz u need to go in for#an appointment without choosing the doctor and they won't take emails or calls first so I'd have to just blindly walk into a random office#which physically is extremely taxing on me atm and hope it goes well. which it won't bcuz there r no specialists and again. I can't pay.#and don't even get me started on whether or not they'd b trans and disability friendly. like that's a whole other can of worms.#idk man there's so much fucking bullshit in my way it feels like the only option is drastic immediate crisis#which is. unhealthy dangerous stupid etc. like I seriously should not under any circumstances do that.#and it's not even like going to the ER would help. last time I actually had to bcuz paramedics thought I was having a heart attack the#ER doctors just said take more anxiety meds and sent me home#but it's all my brain will consider.#eugh. I'm so sick of everything dude#armchair speaks
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when im done this exam that's not it. i have a small paper i have to write immediately after because it'd be due the night after can't a girl just have one depressive episode.
#like i just wanna go to bed and like. Cry lol#lately ive been better at it bc it really does help when i wish i could just cope in very unhealthy/dangerous ways#like i miss crying so much and i just wanna collapse in my bed and sob onto my stuffies and not tell anyone anything#i mean who said that lol#vent
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"inflammatory oils." kill yourself.
#are seed oils the new gluten or something like wtf are you on about#I'm so sick of all the fucking bullshit about 'pure' and 'clean' foods#it's all just fear mongering and toxic fucking diet culture bs#or capitalism I guess#if the only way you can convince people to buy your $10 pistachio milk is to claim that oat milk's extremely unhealthy and dangerous or w/e#maybe your product just isn't that good idk#also no one is gonna drop dead from consuming some fucking carbs. grow up#my post
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I think there's a lot of people who equate aversion of disgust on their part to meaning something is morally wrong, and it's so blatantly not how the world works
Colonoscopy bags and feeding tubes make me uncomfortable (tubes going into the skin make me uncomfortable, honestly even IVs make me kind of uncomfortable), but that doesn't make them immoral. It's obviously just up to me to be polite and deal with my own shit in my own head rather than being rude for no reason... which is exactly what I do
I'm not gonna be weird towards someone who needs that stuff, and honestly if I weren't saying this here to make a point you'd probably never know I felt that way cause it's just my job to suck it up and move on cause it's not actually a big deal
Yet so often people basically use their gut feelings of something being yucky as the beginning, middle, and end of their argument for why it's wrong and should exist
Sorry, come back with an actual argument
Be an adult, grow up, and come back when you have actual proof of harm or else shut the hell up (and honestly if it's about how someone else is living their own life, I kind of don't care what proof you think you have, still shut the hell up)
#you know; like one example I very much can give about this is the way people will be like 'being fat is unhealthy' and it's like cool...#but also shut the fuck up; just fucking let people live their lives#like even if you're right; you're still being a huge asshole to that random person for no damn reason; shut your stupid mouth#frankly it's like... lets say someone pours bleach on their eggs every day#after I've made sure they understand how wildly fucking dangerous that is; if they're like 'I know; but I like it'#...you know... what else can I do?#yeah they're probably gonna end up real fucked up or dead; but if they're an adult living their own life...#you know... how do I get to enforce how they live it?#unless they have dementia or something; unless I have reason to believe they are incapable of understanding...#I mean... people are allowed to make harmful bad decisions#so long as they're not bleaching anyone else's eggs... I kinda gotta just piss off no matter how I feel about it#and this is an extreme hyperbolic situation I've picked just to show where the line is drawn#that even in extreme cases of undeniable harm... do I really get to stick my nose in?#the shit people are actually sticking their noses into other people's business over are way more minor shit#where even more it's like how bout you fuck off and let that person do what they want with their life#I don't have to approve; frankly I don't even need an opinion#unless they're hurting someone by being like a tiktok prankster... not my business
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continuin the prev post here cuz i feel comfy hidin my talks in tags but i always near the tag limit
#as i was sayin#im really proud of myself 4 progressin in the way i have i think its a part of healin 4 me but also is jus way of expression#i still feel like a freak a lot but.. less than before#especially now dat i been findin more ppl who share my interests n views 🥺🫶🏼#it has genuinely helped so immensely#i love ppl who r jus. normal. n have realisitc views. naw black n white thinkin. naw extremes#n i have 2 say ppl gawta get more comfortable w jus.. sayin they don lik Smth#dat its outta their comfort zone dat it doesn float theit boat#instead of harrassin ppl n assignin morals 2 things dat never involved em. 2 things dat r far removed from reality & don affect it unless ya#let em affect it#like w how anti-prоshiр sum ppl r. ya wudn expect em 2 b so obsessed w clockin others n sendin hate. SAME for the other way round. leave#each other alone? peace n lovr on planet earth?#but yea im happy 2 jus b. b my own thing. n do my own thing#nevertheless i still believe thers a conversation 2b had abt the experiences of those whose trauma Do make em like fucked up related things#n gravitate towards those things n see it in eveyrthin n wanna re enact em in sum way#'healthy' (fiction. roleplay. kink) or 'unhealthy' (seekin out those things irl w real danger of harm)#like which one do ya think is better. hm?#cuz personally id rather let ppl do watever they want in their own time as long as they r unhurt & don hurt anyone else.#the moment ya assign morality 2 things like kink n fiction. ya other ppl who r not like ya & don deal w things like ya & WILL most likely#suffer w consequences (cause i have. self doubt & hate. guilt. alienation)#it can b a healthy outlet as long as ya r mindful. 100%#ill b upfront tho. it does strike me as weird when someone who has naw history of X is straight up obsessed w it in dat sense. but also like#they can do watever they want forever anyway. my personal feelings r irrelevant cuz okay. then their spaces r nawt 4 me!#like sadly im nawt livin the timeline where m unaffected by the trauma we have so i cant understan wat else is in sm1 head dat might make em#drawn 2 those things. but it also none of my business. so!
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