every time i reread my own stuff i just want to rewrite it

Thank you for offering your askbox. I've been thinking that Izzy being just a side character whose story wasn't main plot thread makes even better proof that not everything was well planned? If I was a writer and this would be easily the most discussed topic about the finale, I'd reflect on storytelling decisions I made. There's a good reason why Izzy's fate overshadows everything despite that he wasn't the point of the show.

(Post posted 10/31/23) Feel free to comment below if you agree or disagree, we're all here for discussions.

Thank you so much for this amazing question!! [If you're seeing this and want to discuss some aspect of S2, or my thoughts on OFMD overall, SEND ME AN ASK! I love doing this]

TLDR: Vague characterization from historical records means Jenkins is free to bend history without a lot of guilt. During early days of casting and during scene changes Jenkins got inspired by Con's audition tape. Con was told to play this shit as a Jesus/Judas relationship. An amazing performance in S1 keeps the character relevant in fandom spaces in the hiatus, and in Jenkin's mind for S2. The S1 season finale accidentally reveals a really interesting dynamic in Ed/Izzy's relationship. [Speculation from this point on] Jenkins feels like he needs to explore, with little plans to fully explore it. Fleshing out both Ed/Izzy abuse and love.

Jenkins realizes 'Oh shit, Izzy wasn't supposed to be this' midway through S2. But he still follows his original plan in killing him off, because he's not needed for the story in his outline, leading to him accidentally killing off a character as they're growing and healing. Leading to what some consider a move SO off-brand for the show, they are leaving the fandom.

[*Tin Foil Hat On*] I expect the original cut of S2 to include more scenes of the crew. I bet for every other Izzy scene, we got a crew scene. So when 'extra' not plot-relevant scenes had to get cut, they kept the Izzy scenes due to Izzy's stable arc, the fact that he'd die at the end either way and Con's amazing performance.

EXPLINATION AND DEPTH BELOW! It's a long one. A lot of this post will be speculation, interviews from Jenkins, and highly dependent on if you were in fandom between seasons 1 and 2. If you need me to hunt for sources, I can do that for you.

I'll separate everything into a chronological timeline as much as possible.

Before we touch on why Jenkins wrote Izzy to stick out in the story, we need to assume how he outlined this entire show.

Pre Con O'Neill:

I am of the personal belief that Jenkins likely wrote out an imagined arc for Ed and Stede. Including a lot of cool set pieces, fights, etc. for the three seasons he wanted vaguely based on the real lives of Stede Bonnet and Edward Teach(watch a YouTube vid documenting their history, it's a wild ride) turning it into something explicitly romantic. This is easy enough to do, as most of what we know about them was written YEARS after their deaths.

Next was filling in the cast. This is where we get our crew, mostly characters Jenkins made up, as very little is known of the men either sailed with.

Izzy Hands being a pirate under the age of 18 whose notable actions with Blackbeard include- Captaining his own vessel, running a ship aground, being Blackbeard's first mate, and getting shot by Blackbeard maybe on accident.

[THEORY] So. If you're any writer you see that and think 'cool a side character we know almost nothing about'. You slot him in as being Edward's one thing keeping him to the pirate lifestyle. Not necessarily romantic, but a serious Boss/underling relationship. This is a bit of how Izzy was written in S1 UNTIL-

Con O'Neill is cast as Izzy.

In interview, Jenkins has admitted that Con's audition tapes influenced how he wrote Izzy. As a writer, this shouldn't necessarily be ringing red flags. But he has gone on record as admitting to changing the script before shooting to suit Con. IN SEASON 1. My guess is Izzy at the end of episode 10 was meant to be more of a side character. Another Frenchie, or Wee John, who serves their purpose and then gets pushed to the side by the plot.

But at some point, Jenkins wrote how important the dynamic was between Ed and Izzy. Describing Izzy/Ed to Con before filming S1 of a 'Jesus and Judas' relationship like in Jesus Christ Superstar.

If you tell a (then closeted) queer actor who has been playing queer roles since the 1990s that his leather daddy character was having a Jesus&Judas JSC dynamic in a TV show that respects and celebrates queerness? 🤩 MY GOD.

[Speculation] That's how we get an Izzy Hands who is watching the man in front of him slip away, trying to dig his heels in. Hell, if I were Jenkins, I'd be adding a few more lines for Izzy to be pissed just to see Con have fun in the role. Let him be mad. Let him be in the background of scenes just glaring. Let us see a man slowly lose something he's built up his whole life.

[As mentioned from Comic Con- From Con O'Neill] This was important for me to bring up as Jenkins could have said 'henchman' but he didn't. Hell, when Taika and Con did hair and makeup they'd listen to the JCS cast album. It was a choice on both their parts.

[ovservation from here on out] Con plays it up, and a lot of queer fans saw this and grabbed hold of a man so desperate to keep the man he loved close that he sacrifices almost everything for it (Izzy also signs the Act of Grace to get Ed out of there).

Izzy, in a show full of openly queer people, is still on the fringe of society. SO MANY queers saw this and said 'OMG me'. ME INCLUDED. With a super supportive actor who genuinely is respectful of the fandom? Of art, and fic and meta? The Izzy 'Canyon' became so loyal because Con is a Queer Elder we didn't know we all needed in our lives!

Jenkins accidentally wrote into what could be an amazing story of a queer character living in a homophobic society where he learns to open himself up. All without ever writing a 'coming out' scene for Izzy. Jenkins knows this. Hell, since S1 Izzy fans have been telling him how cool that type of arc would be.

Now here comes the issue of where to take a side character, when you have loose plans for them.

S1 IS TIGHTLY WRITTEN ONTO ITSELF... S2?

Something we might forget now is HOW tightly written Izzy's falling out with Ed is tied into Stede and Ed falling in love. Beat per beat, Izzy is shoved away as Stede takes his place. That's really fucking smart. So smart, it was planned in the writer's room. The fact that some took it as romantic, that Ed could ever really love him back? Well...this is where Jenkins had a decision to make.

So he dips his toe. Let's make Ed even more violent than at the end of S1ep10. Let's include the bit where Blackbeard shoots Izzy Hands. Let's have Izzy confess his love for Ed and have it not be enough for Ed to change his mind. Let's show Izzy rising like a phoenix reborn after a failed suicide attempt where Izzy chooses to mutiny on Ed to protect the crew. Let's see Izzy growing. Because Jenkins loves Con's performance. Everyone in the cast enjoys him as a person. Let's give Izzy one last hurrah.

Jenkins knows this character meant a lot to Con. It's obvious in the way Jenkins recently confessed he told Con about Izzy's death midway through shooting. Sadly we likely will never be told when Con was told. But imagining Con filming the AMAZING character change of S2eps 1-2, then AFTER being told Izzy would die anyway? Oh. I wouldn't be alright. Not after all his fans had spent the last year telling him how much seeing a character like Izzy 'being accepted because they are worthy of love'.

This is the 1 thing that fucks me up. Not telling Con until midway through shooting, Versus his belief that writing Izzy's death was a fitting way to end his story. BOTH CAN'T BE TRUE. Right? If Jenkins felt the need to take con aside and go grab a meal to announce Izzy was dying but then market the ending as a 'Good Idea'. Then...What? If Con felt it fit the character, then he would have likely guessed Izzy would die. But that wasn't the vibe in the fandom at the time. It feels like a decision Jenkins made this season.

Because yes, some general audiences predicted that Izzy would die. But when your core fanbase for a character don't expect it, you didn't plan the death correctly. Fuck, I thought Izzy was trying to RECOVER this whole season. Not that Izzy was hiding how hard he was struggling. That's not a good sign when I've ALWAYS called Izzy as some brand of suicidal/depressed.

[Quote from Jenkins Entertainment Article: Oct 26 2023] 'What's the best journey we can give him(Izzy)? And what's the most interesting thing we can do with Con, who can do just about anything?'

That is not the quote of an author who has planned everything out. That's a writer who knows points A and E and is fighting to find everything in between.

The Fly in My Ointment

There's a point most writers know when a character or story slips out from under you. You didn't mean for this to happen. Hell, I write Scene by Scene outlines. My stories change. When Izzy Hands' growth arc became the most interesting part of S2, Jenkins had a choice.

How far was he willing to bend his idea to keep a character that wasn't 'essential'? Not that fucking far apparently. Because for some reason, Jenkin's labeled Izzy in his mind as 'Blackbeard' and tied Ed and Izzy's fates together. Ignoring how this season Izzy died to separate his old life with Ed from his new life with this crew.

Your question poses it perfectly- If I was a writer and this would be easily the most discussed topic about the finale, I'd reflect on storytelling decisions I made. There's a good reason why Izzy's fate overshadows everything despite that he wasn't the point of the show.

That's a trick they teach you in some writing podcasts. That in the end, you are telling one story. You can have twenty side characters and a romance arc, but in the end, you are telling one story. Each side character is going to show what happens when you fail or succeed at the central thesis.

What do we have in S1? What does Frenchie sing to set up where our story STARTS-

"A pirate’s life, [it’s] short but nice,” -“we won’t live long,”  AND “to death we go, a certain death we go.”

Our characters expect a short simple life of what most pirates EXPECT. In my mind, this story has ALWAYS been about survival. From the extravagance of Stede's ship, and a crew ready to throw him overboard, to the barebones Shark eats Shark type of survival described in Ed's own fleet. OFMD is about living in a world that doesn't want you there. About surviving and thriving. About these two men from different worlds coming together and forging a life of kindness for them and for their family.

Saying fuck you, I'm here, I'm still alive, and I'm going to THRIVE. I deserve kindness, happiness, love, and a fully lived life. I deserve to spend my short time on this Earth happy.

IN S2? The ONLY character that matches this thesis is Izzy. After scenes of Izzy struggling. Of finding himself. Of crawling up from his own personal hell, Izzy dies. He dies from a random bullet wound in the same spots that didn't kill Stede or Ed in the previous season. Breaking the one established rule for wounds in this universe that the left side is the safe side so that Izzy can die.

Even if Izzy spent this entire season wanting to die, he tried to live. For a few days after a breakup of over 20+ years of casual intimacy. Of a bond where Izzy was the murderer, the brawn. The dangerous right hand. Where Izzy dying meant not just his death, but likely that of Ed. Given the man's constant depressive moods, crews that didn't like him, and reoccurring suicidal tendencies. Ed didn't need Izzy Hands anymore. Ed had Stede now. He was ready to finally leave Izzy for good. What will Izzy Hands do now?

He gave up. He tried to move on. He listened after being told he was too rough, too loud, too mean. He tried. He tried to survive this new way of life surrounded by people who supported him. But he was tired. After so many years of putting up a mask, tearing it down was too much work. So he wanted to die. In the end. Izzy died in the arms of Edward surrounded by his family.

Buried on a plot of land Jenkins has already told us Stede and Ed will leave when things get boring. Left behind like the corpse of a pet the family has forgotten. Buried without his ring and cravat, items Izzy is only seen without when he's naked. Without the prosthetic gifted to him by a family that cared about him.

Izzy wasn't mourned for more than five seconds, before Stede and Ed were making jokes on his fresh grave, and then the episode moves on to a wedding.

RIP Izzy Hands- a man who loved more than he was ever loved in return.

Was this the right message? FUCK No. But for those of us who believed that theme of queer survival and community- We saw framing Izzy's death like this as a fucking betrayl.

Izzy Hands isn't buried with his most prized possessions- they're left out to be stolen or rot in the front yard. With only one man crying over his death and a silent funeral. He leaves this world without more than a 'he was intense'. Which...isn't great coming from the man Izzy loved for most of his life.

The reason why we're mad about Izzy isn't that it's Izzy. It's that when we boarded this flight we were given a set of rules to follow. It's a comedy about men falling in love on a boat that sometimes gets serious. That's it. To watch a character start to grow only to die for NO PLOT SPECIFIC REASON. Is insulting. If your death has no tie to the narrative (sacrifice or it comes with a revelation) it's a death just set up for shock. Izzy and Ed could have had that deathbed confession talk at the start of episode 7.

A REASON WHY I'M MAD BEYOND THAT SPECIFICALLY. [Very Personal Gripe]

A SALUTE TO CON O'NEILL -AGAIN!

I had the privilege of hyper-fixating on this show from the entirety of S1 ending to S2 beginning. During this time I explored the catalog of Con O'Neill's work on Tumblr under the tag 'Conography'. I watched this man play queer roles since the 1990s. Genderqueer/somewhere on the Trans spectrum, Gay, Bi. This man loves to play a queer story, even if it's sad. If it's tragic. He will breathe new life into their lungs and express their moments of Joy. Of love. Of community.

After the filming of S2 at a con, Con he felt comfortable publicly coming out due to the love and support he felt from our fandom. Do you know JUST how crazy that is? That Con KNEW Izzy was dead, yet he loved our fandom so much he let himself be vulnerable, and come out as queer? It's fucking INSANE to me, and shows just how much this show means to him.

He's not just Queer. He's a Queer fucking elder whose been protective of this entire community since S1. This 57-year-old man has proudly stood up in the name of Trans rights this entire time. Treating everyone, but especially Trans Izzy fans with so much fucking respect. Trans Izzy is a common headcanon partially because of how comfortable people feel knowing they won't get harassed because they interpret Izzy a certain way. That trans people feel at home seeing themselves as a misunderstood character with a chip on their shoulder.

I'm pissed for every in universe thing listed above AND NOW THIS. Because our Queer Elders are dead. There is a generation of Queer people we can never get back. They died from a mix of society pressuring these people into the closet or an early grave. Of disease running wild in communities unchecked. Of media ruining the careers of anyone who dared to come out. To see Con O'Neill So Fucking Happy and having it cut short because Jenkins thought Izzy was better dead than being an actual background character makes me see fucking red.

No. Jenkins probably didn't know Con was Queer when writing S2. But I'm assuming he still saw how happy Con was at Izzy fans before S2 was written which still makes it feel shitty.

Sure. Give Izzy all the amazing speeches about family and belonging and rip that right from his hands as soon as Izzy realizes it's something he might want for himself. Let's have Con O'Neill say all the prominent lines that are a blatant metaphor for why the Queer community needs to stick together.

Izzy's arc isn't just overshadowing the conversation because it was mismanaged and feels unplanned, it also just feels cruel to the central arc of this series. Add that to an actor who was so vocal about loving this community, it feels pointed to give him a tragic ending.

Jenkins doesn't need to consider why people hated this finale. Because there are SO MANY Ed/Stede fans who just don't care. They put Izzy in the box with every other side character and decided to put their effort into the protagonists and point and laugh when we suffer. Jenkins won't rethink anything because he can just say the 'Izzy community was passionate and are sad their favorite died'. Ignoring how this season made Stede into a shittier, less sympathetic captain and gave Ed an interesting arc only to give up before the finish line.

What advice would you offer anyone trying to make an AU that is wholly additive like your Sento Saiyans (as opposed to ones that focus on altering events like so many do)? Anything to try and avoid or lean into (e.g your Sento Saiyans lacking a SSJ form and the culture that builds because they all have access to emotion-driven forms in Oozaru)?

**LONG THREAD

First, kinda have half a brain to say "fuck all" to canon. The AU will be a sandbox you craft of your own while "using" canon material as your "non-canon" if that makes sense. I included canon character (Goku, Vegeta, Whis, etc) as chess pieces for the world I craft around them. I myself know this is not canon, not true to any part of Super or the establish status quo. I just have to be mindful of characterizations. I fight the "canon police" on the daily who try and lecture me on "this wouldn't happen" or "why make this because blah blah blah and this happens instead" because I'm practically disrupting all established norms. I just don't give a fuck and decide to do it anyway because it's fun.

Second, I'd have to know more on what direction you're trying to go. Are you trying to make a fan race or anything OC x Canon related? I could better answer with a bit more info.

If it's a fan race, my best suggestion is doing your homework on at least most of the established DBverse so that way you have substance on what you're trying to do and it'd make sense for where it may be inserted in (og DB, Z, GT, or Super). This applies with my earlier statement because you will have people that will want to ask you questions and you'll have to have some consistency or you'll create (too many) plot holes.

Lastly, the reason for me NOT having Sentos inherit super forms naturally is because:

A: I'm kinda tired of the recolors. I love super forms, don't get me wrong, but every Saiyan type does Super Saiyan. I want Sento Saiyans to work like Ikari/Wrathful Broly where he still looked like his base but still has that power buff. The only exception is the Legendary, Orran, where he gets both Oozaru AND the Legendary form.

B: For them it'll be a "deception tactic" where you'll think they look weak visually but they still have that power boost of the super form under the surface. The hair won't change colors but the eyes will. Sentos will learn the super form (properties) and not change into the form itself if that makes sense.

I'm playing a mind-game. "What? Saiyans that can't go SSJ? How does that work? That's what Saiyans do." Nah. That's called creativity. I call it the "Rock Lee" effect. They don't have to rely on being flashy or ki-driven to box. They're different. It's how you create skills and unique abilities that could stand in the same lane as SSJ but on a different branch. It's not to replace the forms, but how to bend them in different directions. Add different ways to utilize forms or transformations.

Sorry this is so long but my goal is to technically break the status quo and start looking at other ways to mold an established factor so that way new things can keep the air fresh and creativity flows freely. Research and think on it. DB is a giant sandbox that a lot of the fanbase tends to box themselves into corners and won't venture out because they believe it's cringe or taboo. There's a lot you can do if you have the mind for it. Toriyama himself can't remember SSJ2 even existed, you'll be fine.

Hey! Hi! Can I just say that I started reading Dwelling on Dreams, and already from the get-go I knew I would love it — your writing, characterization, dialogue, all of it. You have some beautifully quotable sentences that I wonder how you even come up with — like does this just seamlessly flow from your creative mind? ANYWAYS, Idk if you get asked this often but if you have any tips or lessons for writing in general, I'd be grateful for the wisdom. Thank you, master!

HEY! THIS IS REALLY FKN NICE!!! Thank you so much!!!!!

God, I wish I could say YES, it all pours straight from my mind onto the page exactly as you read it, but that would be a total lie.

The truth is, I’m an embarrassingly chaotic writer. I draft out of order, change direction 40k words in, leave names, dates, and transitions incomplete until I absolutely cannot go one more step without making a decision. This clashes with my need for everything to be perfect all the goddamn time, so the only way I will ever finish anything (and particularly those long fics I love to write), is by following a method that works for me. It isn’t fast. It isn’t organized. It can be tedious.

Everything starts with free writing. For me, that means turning off the brain-to-page filter and just spewing it all out there, no matter how bad it looks. We’re talking pure stream of consciousness, 1000 words in 30 minutes with no consideration for grammar or spelling. And I swear to you, those little nuggets of “oh shit that’s good” that have me rubbing my dirty little beetle hands together in glee, they come out of this stage. I use free writing to warm up, to wind down, to work through plot holes, smut, character development, or even how I’m feeling about things. Sometimes it’s just 500 words of “oh my god why is this so hard I hate this why do I sign up for this who decided this was fun maybe I’m just hungry—oh look! A squirrel!”

Of course, making the mess is the fun part, cleaning up the mess, less so. Next, I take those free writes and illegible outlines, and put them in some semblance of order. Then I rewrite. And rewrite again. And again. I will usually draft a scene between 2 and 6 times before I even attempt to consider spelling or grammar. If I bog myself down in the pretty details too soon, I lose the thread of the story or the natural flow of dialogue. If I’m thinking about where a comma goes, I’m not following my intuition and my story will suffer.

Does this result in a ton of unusable material that goes straight into the trash? YOU BETCHA. Take Dwelling on Dreams, for example. My scrivener binder for that fic clocked in at 420k words. That’s how many words it took to get 130k of them right. Or as right as they can be before I lose my damn mind and start wondering if I even really speak English at all.

Hell, in the interest of full disclosure, I used that process to answer this ask. I word vomited my thoughts (which mostly started with, wtf lakdfjafij I have no idea what I’m doing how could I possibly convince anyone that I do???!?!?!), figured out what the hell I wanted to say, still managed to say too much, and here we are.

Did I answer your question? PROBABLY NOT! But I’m still so grateful you asked.

Hi Skye! First off, thank you sm for the lengthy answer to my previous ask, it really helped!

I come back now with a more logistic question. You asked for angst with a happy ending, but also canon compliant... So my question is, do you consider canon to be a happy ending? For Farah/Saul and Andreas/Saul?

I just wanna know if you'd like it best if I stuck to the canon or changed it!

-😎

omg hahahaha you caught me! how can I ask for both canon compliance and a happy ending when they are mutually exclusive... because yeah their canon show endings are deffo not happy. Farah/Saul just ???? vanishes into the ether between seasons and while I do like that the Andreas/Saul relationship comes full circle, it's definitely not happy. Sky ends up having to kill his father or his loved ones will be killed, just like Saul had to do to his own father, which is just *chef's kiss* symmetry but deliciously tragic! And to that I'd say, I would also love that kind of ending, one that is not necessarily happy but reflective. Mostly I just don't want major character death that isn't already in the show.

For me, though, all canon compliance means is that it doesn't go against the major plot points/characterizations of the show. I am okay with some divergence/invention because Fate has plot holes you can drive a truck through so the last thing I want is a writer to get tangled in how to straighten those out 😅 so yes, I am totally okay with you ignoring bits and pieces or fixing major plot holes/gaps (??where did the Farah/Saul relationship go, where were the additional Saul/Andreas scenes in S2?? were they actually students or had they somewhat graduated, bc the timeline is extremely swooshed over)

so yeah when I said canon compliance I just mean keeping to the major threads like the relationships as they exist in canon, and the setting as it exists in canon. As for the plot of your story please don't feel obligated to exactly mesh with every single detail we see in the show! hope this is helpful!!

˜”°• PLOTTING/THREAD CALL •°”˜

•｡ [ hey hi hello! i initially joined during a busy time of the year (i was determined to snatch my boy when engage characters were avail) but summertime for me means that i have more time to make some more relationships for alcryst! ♡ i'd love to get him interacting with more of all of your muses, so i had some thoughts (putting under a read more so not to clog the dash but tl;dr - i'd be open to anything either of us have in mind, winter offers diff writing opps ღ )-

mission task-board (will need an unaffiliated character!)

- [ bow + 1 ]: venturing through a winter hellscape with alcrsyt sounds like a terrible time.... let him join you pls he can't offer much except to be left behind and freeze - [ flying +1 ]: what's better than a winter hellscape? sleeping in a barn full of wyverns with alcryst, sure he thinks they'd rather kick him out, but together we can help the animals :plea: - [ gauntlets +1 ]: a knife to the throat vs alcryst... idk which one you'd have a better outcome with tbh but we can sure see! - crafting! saint seiros charms! that's so cute!

non-mission task board

- would growing taller give alcryst more confidence? i doubt it but it'd sure be funny hehe - [ heavy armor +1 ]: alcryst will do just about anything to get stronger! even wear a leotard! if he doesn't die from embarrassment first :) share the weight of humiliation? :plea: - rustic and cozy retreat... right up alcryst's alley to stay in the corner unless company comes or a change of plan occurs teehee

lastly, i still have 5 asks from the found family ask meme a couple months ago -- i did not expect to receive so many at that time, but it made my heart so happy thank you! ღ any of those can be turned into a thread or left as is -- those help with my characterization for alcryst anyway, so thank you again. ♡

ok i've rambled enough pls feel free to like or hmu on tumblr or discord! thank you for reading! looking forward to potentially writing with you!

MELODYPLUCKED: INDEPENDENT, SELECTIVE & PRIVATE blog for RICKY BOWEN from high school musical: the musical: the series. enhanced and written as an original character by kenna. established december 2022

exploring themes of: embracing change, following your heart (no matter where it takes you), the guy with the guitar, young love that never dies proving to everyone they were wrong about you, more than your broken home, skater boy turned superstar, hundreds of love songs all for the same girl.

links: PROMO | MEMES | STARTER CALLS INBOX ( 0 ) | DRAFTS ( 1 )

ricky is heavily affiliated, single ship, and exclusive with hales's nini @inspotlight

other blogs: @heartfe1t, @sheactress (sideblog to this blog), @mimistjames (sideblog to this blog), @anyonebutbea (sideblog to this blog)

blog mains: @inspotlight / @famefckr / hales' other blogs, @pcetstcrtured / pluto's other blogs, @depictedblue

guidelines:

i'm kenna, i'm 23, and i use she/her pronouns. this blog is 18+.

my blog is mutuals only, but if i follow you i want to write with you! memes are usually the easiest way to start.

i am stuck with the new beta editor. please use this / x-kit rewritten for our threads if possible.

follow typical rp etiquette please! so no godmodding, don't reblog my threads if it's not with you, that usual sort of thing.

triggers will be tagged as 'trigger tw', 'trigger //' or 'trigger mention tw'. people in this vein will usually be tagged with 'person name //'. please let me know if i miss something, i'd be happy to tag it for you!

ricky turns 18 at the end of season 3, the summer before his senior year, and this blog is set almost consistently post high school. ricky is 18+ by default and has not been 'aged up'.

i do not follow season 3 and 4 canon in terms of plot. i may take bits and pieces for characterization purposes just depending. this blog operates almost entirely outside of the actual show's canon at this point, but can also be considered post-canon. i do have season 3 and 4 adjacent verses, and we'll see how close and far they become.

ricky is single ship with hales' nini over at inspotlight. he's with her in some regard in most threads, and even if he's not, she's a part of his life. there's a lot we can do that doesn't involve ships i promise.

disclaimer: i am not and am not affiliated with disney, hsmtmts, joshua bassett, etc. i do not own this character, i am simply writing my own take on another version of his story and where the future could take him.

23, 30, 41

hi fey <3

23. What’s a trope, AU, or concept you’ve never written, but would like to? oh good question! as I get older I find myself getting more and more picky about AUs...I usually get attached to canon because I like aspects of canon such as the world, if not the plot decisions, so when AUs eschew the world I get cranky. Uhh and I had to go review my own ao3 to remember what I have and have not written lmao. I'd very much like to write something like a regency romance in the vein of this excellent Jonsa fic.

30. Have you ever written something that was out of your comfort zone? If so, what was it, and how did it affect your approach to writing fic thereafter? This is a good question and long enough that I am putting it beneath a cut.

When I wrote the first draft of my first novel (which is sort of hanging out right now) it was way outside of my comfort zone in terms of approach, structure, process, everything. Like I just fundamentally didn't know what I was doing. The longest fic I've ever written and finished was about 44k, and though I have some truly monster wips I found a novel to be uniquely difficult because of everything I had to remember and balance inside a long and self contained form. I also found the process of world building difficult because it meant I was constantly doing SOOO much more work than I do in fanfic, which I find much easier to write because the world and characters are already established.

My writing style changed a lot--I did not have time to worry about my prose because I mainly wrote my novel on my 45 minute lunch break at my terrible old job. I also spent a lot of time journaling about my process and what was working, what wasn't, why I was blocked, etc. The most valuable thing I learned was the willingness to be absolutely radical and fearless in editing--I couldn't get too attached to anything, I had to be willing to take the novel/idea down to the studs if I needed to. I also learned to trust myself...it was okay that I didn't know what I was doing as long as I kept going. I frequently found that I would write a scene, hate it, stop writing and go do something else and then immediately realize the correct way for the scene to go. The most interesting aspects of the novel plot happened when I was willing to stray from my outline and experiment to see where this unexpected plot thread went. I couldn't be rigid, I needed to be flexible.

When I finished the manuscript in March of 2021, which weighed in at a whooping 150,000 words, I was extremely unhappy with it. I recently reread parts of it and it is...good. I liked it. It is too long and needs to be edited to within an inch of its life but I am proud of it.

41. Link a fic that made you think, “Wow, I want to write like that.” Oh I really love this question!! An Ever-Fixed Mark is absolutely brilliant. I love the depth of the world building, the characterization, and the period details.

Thanks fey <3

Hey, my sister and I wanted to take your Hermit Canyon AU, patch a few plotholes we found, add a little bit of our own creativity, and iron it into a single cohesive story with a story format and an easy-to-follow plot. It won't have any of your writing directly copied, but it will be so heavily inspired by it – at least in the first few chapters – that it'll be super, blindingly obvious. 1: are you okay with us publishing it on Ao3/here, and 2: do you want any updates, info, etc? – Tiger

...hi. it's been a while, hasn't it?

to be completely honest with you, i've been ignoring this message for a while-- partly because i've been living in a cell service-less cabin in the woods with mold, mice, worms, ticks, hornets, and what have you-- but partly for other reasons.

you see, i didn't know how to answer this. on a surface level, i should be thrilled that someone likes my work enough to want to "patch it up" and make a work so inspired by it. however...

my AUs were never meant to be stories.

from what i've seen in the mcyt fandom, people who run AUs throw out ideas they think are cool, then someone sends them an ask with a new idea, the blog responds, and post by post all of these ideas develop plot points. they're not "stories" in the traditional sense; they're written very differently to accommodate the format and time frame they're posted in. i posted a collection of all the posts in my AUs to ao3 so they could all be in one spot. i didn't want them to be buried and forgotten.

and you know what? people like you, who ask me if they can smooth over the things that i wrote? they have a point. from an objective standpoint, my fics are bad-- they were never supposed to be fics in the first place. they're fragmented. scenes are too short. the pacing is wrong and so are some characterizations. i pick up and drop plot threads at random. pick your poison, i guess.

it still hurts when you ask to change my writing.

it's like you're telling me that i didn't write a good enough story. you're telling me that for all the months of time and tens of thousands of words that i did put in, none of that was enough because you could have done what i did, but better.

whenever people ask to rewrite my stories, to "patch a few plotholes", to "iron it into a single cohesive story", to make the plot "easy to follow", do you think i take it positively? how could anyone see things like that about their own work and feel good? the mistakes i made apparently bothered people to the point that several of them asked to fix them. like my stories need to be fixed.

this isn't the first or last time i've received a message like this, but it's the only one in my inbox that i haven't deleted. i stressed over this for a long time. the way i see it, i have a few options.

i could delete this message too, and the next one, and the next one. i'll ignore the problem until people stop asking-- except that they won't stop, will they? so, how about i just say no? if i just definitively say "no, you can't rewrite my fics", i'd feel like a total tool who's getting way too up their own ass about a stupid fanfiction that wasn't even good.

should i suck it up and allow people to "fix" my works, then? it feels... disingenuous, for lack of a better word. it may be a shitty fanfiction, but it's my shitty fanfiction, and i don't want to see complete strangers proudly displaying their improvements to its patchwork corpse. don't get me wrong, i love that people want to put their own spin on my fics. if you wanna make a work inspired by my fics then go ahead, you always have my blessing. but inspiration and "fixing what someone else wrote" aren't the same thing.

my last idea is that i could rewrite my AU compilations into real fics myself. i'd enjoy it, honestly, but that doesnt change the fact that it would be a massive task. my hermit!tommy AU and hermit canyon AU are, respectively, 35,000 and 55,000 words each. turning them into "real stories" would see their word counts massively bloated with revisions, to say nothing of the huge swaths of text that would be completely new.

writing takes time and energy, and to be frank, i have a life-- a busy one, at that. it's stressful. i won't go into personal details, because fishing for pity is not the point of what i'm trying to say here. (though, i will say that the whole joke about living in a house with pests, no wifi, no beds, and no doors? one hundred percent not a joke.)

i want to move on to new things. the current AU on my blog, the hermit!ghostbur AU, has been on hiatus for months for reasons mentioned above. i've been hyping myself up for it so much, because people have made amazing art and comments and ideas for it. they care. i don't want to let them down. because of the ending of hermitcraft season eight, and all the things that have happened so far in season nine, i have to scrap and rewrite the plan i had for the entire AU. it feels insurmountable. i love the au, and i want to jump straight into writing it, but... maybe rewriting my older stuff will help me shake off the rust.

so. my choice.

i'll rewrite it, i think. i don't know if i'll rewrite both hermit!tommy and hermit canyon, and i don't know which one i'll start with. (the few people who bothered to read this much of my drivel thus far into the post can send in their votes, i guess.) this is a big project, so please be patient with me.

whew, that was a lot of talking!! i'll summarize all my word-vomit. i'm gonna rewrite one or both of my AU collections so no one else feels like they have to. keep in mind that this is not the norm for tumblr-run AUs or their collections. i'm a person, as all writers are; keep in mind how your words hurt people. even though you meant no harm, that you just wanted to take something you liked and make it better, that shit grinds away at a person's self-esteem. so, if you want to write something using my works as inspiration, please do!! but inspiration and plagiarism are two different beasts. sorry for making you wait so long, and thank you for understanding.

THE ONE WHERE WE ARE COMFORTABLE

WTN WEEK 2021 → day seven (episode seven) Hiiii friends so I decided to talk about things that bring me comfort and for me the thing that brings me the biggest comfort is the friends I've made on this board. I spend my time talking to these four basically allllll day long. If you can guess by the graphic above on who is who, but they have become some of my best friends so *drum roll* please and let me tell you about the people i consider to be my f.r.i.e.n.d.s.

MY LOBSTER Apparently, I am someone who when they find someone they mate for life. When I latched onto Elle I latched on and didn't (lol won't) let go. Like when I say she is my person I mean it with every fiber of my being. She is the soulmate. My wife. My lobster. She is like that perfect pair of sweatpants that you know are dependable and can count on and you don't want to let go of. She's like the television show that you need to put on because you've had a bad day. She's the first person I call when disaster happens. When I am having a bad day she is the first person I want to talk to and 10/10 she can say something to make it better.

We laugh until we cry and she likes to yell at me... but 9/10 I do deserve it. So, it is valid. If you see me flirting with her on the server (no you didn't) it's mostly because I can't help myself. So... just divert your eyes. It's very cliche to say that your life has changed after meeting someone, but that's what it has done. I am a better person for her, I'm more mindful, more open, and I don't think there isn't a person on this board who wouldn't say that Elle hasn't changed them for the better. It is who she is. She leaves you with something to think about, she challenges you. She pushes you. She has a heart for those who are misrepresented and misunderstood. I swear if Elle had her own talk show I'd listen to it every day. The girl is *passionate* and that is one thing I can't help but love about her. She is passionate about diversity, about the people on this board, I have watched her struggle with some hard decisions this year and how it has affected her mentally, but she also rises from the ashes because she has to. I have watched her countless times put this site above her own needs. I have watched her struggle. I have watched her doubt (herself and her future) and I have watched her wonder if she is doing the right thing. I have watched her feel remorse and pain and I'm telling you if you do not think Elle cares about WTN and everyone on this board then you've not seen her struggle the way that I've seen her struggle. It's probably why I'm so damn protective of her, but I don't regret a single second of it.

Okay, I've spent this whole time talking about how great Elle is but I've not spoken about the writing. I've run out of room... her writing is amazing, she is the one person I can respond to no matter what day I'm having and no matter what ship it is. I love all of our threads and I'm always so happy and excited to see an elle reply in my alerts waiting to be read and responded to! I find it hard to wrap them because they are just so good! If I have a day where I don't feel like doing replies good chance I'll still pull up an Elle reply because it normally makes my day better 99.99999% of the time. The .1% doesn't exist, but it's including the slight possibility of error and the fact Elle will have something to refute that claim with.

THE GIRL I'D MOVE FURNITURE WITH I don't think there is anyone else I want around my side to do some of the heavy lifting and I don't mean that in the physical sense, but in the writing sense and the mental sense too (tho I don't need to see Kae in real life to know that she's strong). You know that saying about people who struggle in silence. I think that describes Kae because sometimes it's like using a crowbar in getting her to open up and to TALK. It is one of the most frustrating things. It's kind of like a treasure box when you have the box sitting right in front of you and it is impossible to open. Okay, half the battle was finding it. You have the map in front of you and when you finally find it, it is STILL locked. That's Kae. It was quite the struggle in getting her to be open to more plots like I knew where to find and how to find her, but actually getting to Kae felt impossible even though I had all of the directions in front of me. But once you put in the time and effort to get to know her.... like *really* know her, it's like discovering treasure. Not only is she one of the most dependable writers (like I said she will carry the heavyweight in all of her threads), but she is one of the best writers! I love reading her threads even if I'm not in them, they always leave me on the edge of my seat and that characterization *chef's kiss*. MAKES JOKES WITH BC HUMOR IS BAE Oh you know the one who tells the jokes when they are uncomfortable. It is a friends reference and the only one I could think of when I thought of Aria. She makes me laugh. She probably makes me laugh more than anyone especially during WTNWeek because of these videos. When I say read something in an Aria voice I mean it! She isn't really that awkward!! But I'm sure she'll say differently so YOLO. Aria doesn't know a stranger, she pops into your DMs and suddenly it's like you have known her all of your life. We have not known one another as long as I have known Kae and Elle, but she fits in so well. Her writing is beautiful and I love how she is in my DMs daily with inspiration for our ships. I started out with zero Aria ship and Aria made two new characters just to have ships with me and I love her for that. I can gush about how amazing she is because she is one of those people who will provide you comfort. If she knows you are having a bad day, she will send you something to make you smile and she'll remind you that she loves you. And I can't even tell you how having those videos during WTNWeek has made my days a little bit better! If I'm feeling frustrated or sad I just turn one on and it has made my day ten times better. It's funny how she is young, but she is kind of my teacher. She sends me videos to help me when I don't understand something and I am SORRY Aria because you've had to send a lot of videos lately, but I don't think the staff could have made a better decision in asking Aria to hop on board. She is always so helpful and the thing is -- she *wants* to help. She wants to pitch in. She always puts her best foot forward and I love that. And cand we talk about those posting and organization skills #swoooon MY SMELLY CAT In reality I am probably singing this song to Jasmine, but I feel like you'd join in sooo here we go. I wanna preface and say I am not calling Bela a smelly cat! But she speaks in references I don't understand sometimes and sometimes she talks about these weird noises she makes so I think this description is perfect for her. Bela came into WTN and I normally have trust issues BUT I trusted my gut and Prudy is one of my favorite characters on the board. We have been trying to get her cousin on board for as long as I can remember. Prudy deserves all of the good things so I really wanted Bela to stay on board. I threw her practically everything I could think of and I am so glad I did because it has allowed us to get close over the years.

Bela and I have created some fun dynamics over the years between readie being the superior of them all, but we also created dynamics that I never expected to create like Manny, Sieun, and Dylya. They have come to be some of my FAVORITE pairings. It's kinda funny we often joke about how we only have one ship on the board, but it feel like we have a billion. Bela always enjoys sending me music, it's like when she knows I need some writing music, and that's part of the ways she fits into my comfort. Bela is a listener. She listens and she is one of those people who are easy to talk to. I enjoy sharing headcanons and future headcanons and character ideas that we won't create but would like to! I like that she is open and she is honest with me - if she is having a bad day then she'll let me know. But I also think we've talked so much that I can just tell.We are comfortable with one another and I absolutely LOVE it.

I know confetti has been going on for a while, but there are not many people you write with and write WELL with but I have found multiple people I LOVE writing with and I absolutely LOVE talking to. I have found my person (lol more like loml), my partner-in-crime (like if I'm going to go to jail I need her in my corner), my cheerleader (and child), and my ship in the night (lol, we gotta be on at the right time and at the right time to talk).