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toomuchracket · 2 months

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if you're too shy (office nerd!matty x reader fluff)

in which the other music journalist at the magazine you work at is the cutest weird boy you've ever met. enjoy <3

in hindsight, coming back from a two-week holiday the same day the magazine goes to print was a misguided idea.

your editor-in-chief tells you as much when you enter the office, pulling you into a half hug. “don't get me wrong, it's lovely to see you,” she says, scraping her hair back into a bun and securing it with a pencil. “but you'll be doing nothing all day, i'm afraid. maybe some last minute proofing, but i think everyone in nightlife and reviews has been alright. double-check with marianne.”

you do just that, weaving your way through people running copy and coffee between departments until you reach your own. it's mercifully quiet compared to everywhere else, the ten or so people dotted at desks around the sunlit room looking at their laptops and wearing headphones; you actually have to flick marianne on the back of the head to get her to notice you. “oi.”

“who the- oh, hi!” marianne's face softens when she sees it's you, and she stands to pull you into one of her infamously bone-crushing hugs before pulling back to get a good look. “well, you look annoyingly well-rested. but i suppose a fortnight in a spanish villa will do that to you. bitch.”

“i had a great time, thanks for asking,” you grin. “how’s everything been with you? stressful, without your star reporter?”

“well, for starters, you've been succeeded for that title.”

you frown only half-jokingly, scanning the room to try and guess which of your colleagues has replaced you as marianne's unofficial favourite. “who the fuck…?”

“language,” she lightly slaps your arm, in spite of the fact she was just about to say the same thing, then smiles suspiciously. “and i’m talking about our newest recruit.”

the brewing annoyance in your stomach dissipates immediately, replaced by a flock of tiny butterflies. “oh,” you try to keep your smile to a minimum. “that's okay. i like him.”

marianne sees right through you, though. she rolls her eyes. “oh, you would.”

“what?”

she sighs, motioning for you to lower your voice and modifying her own to a whisper. “he’s a curly-haired pretty-eyed vaguely scrawny white boy. you'd like him even if he didn't think the sun shone out of your arse.”

“marianne!” you hiss. “he does not!”

“don’t act all indignant, he has literally looked over at you once every thirty seconds since you walked in - and don't look, idiot, you'll freak him out. we need him on the ball, today of all days,” she rubs her eyes. “but yes, he’s very good at his job. i like him, even if i've no idea what in the world he goes off on his tangents about. great writer.”

“yeah, he is,” you risk a glance towards him, but all you can see is the back of his laptop - covered in stickers for things you can only name half of - and dark curls peeking out from the side of his headphones. “i like the references. different perspective from me, innit? that's why we hired him, after all.”

“who's we? you were too pissed off that i was hiring another music critic to agree to be part of the interviewing panel.”

you'd love to disagree, but you really were pissed when marianne and the other editors told you they were expanding the nightlife section. it didn't matter that it was in response to an increase in funding and readership, with the magazine switching to a print format as well as the online edition you'd contributed to since its creation - your fierce independence and pride meant you didn't take the news well, made you think it was an issue with your competence and writing ability that meant you'd be getting a new colleague. but once you were reassured that you'd still get to keep the Big Gigs and restaurant reviews to yourself, you were slightly more agreeable to the idea.

and once you actually met the new guy, stumbling over both his words and his own feet as he introduced himself, you couldn't quite remember why you'd been opposed in the first place.

“well,” you say, snapping back into reality. “thank goodness i'm over it now.”

“because you want to get under him?”

“no!” you stand indignantly, and then grin. “on top, maybe.”

“good grief,” your boss shakes her head. “don't you go bringing it up to him - excuse the pun - before this edition goes to the printers,” she points at you as you move to walk away. “or talking to him at all until then, actually, you hear me? i love you, but you're a distraction to him, and he's my best journo.”

“he's not, but alright,” you pat her head as you walk back towards the door. “i'll be in the staff room if you need me. and i won't talk to anyone, mum, i promise.”

“i'm only five years older than you!”

“whatever you say!” you reply in a singsongy voice, giggling to yourself as you wander towards the sunny kitchen. the little radio on the windowsill is on, as it always is, and you nod along to the cure while you wait for the kettle to boil. once you've made a cuppa (and grabbed a slack handful of the chocolate digestives marianne always keeps the cupboard stocked with), you settle at the table with your laptop, typing out ideas for your next feature and doing your best not to think about the boy down the corridor you've been instructed not to talk to for the time being. for the most part, you succeed.

that is, until he walks into the staff room two hours later.

you frantically wipe your face of biscuit crumbs as he does, smiling as sweetly as you can for someone with no idea if she has chocolate on her teeth or not. “hi, matty. how are you?”

“oh, hi! i'm, uh, i'm alright,” matty smiles widely enough that his verbal emotional downplaying is blatant - still, he's so cute, beaming at you like that with his little sweater paws. he’s always in a jumper or cardigan or hoodie of some kind, and on more than one occasion in the three months you've known him, you've absolutely thought about literally cosying up into him instead of doing any work. “how was spain? and the wedding - it was a family wedding you were going to, yeah?”

“that's right,” it’s not a big deal, but you glow at the fact he remembered. or maybe it's the soft intent he looks at you with. “it was lovely, yeah. although - wait, have we gone to print?” you ask, suddenly recalling marianne's instructions. “i'm not keeping you from work?”

matty's curls bounce as he shakes his head, light hitting off the metal hoop in his earlobe (that you're only mildly obsessed with). “we've gone. i'm just in here to get my lunch,” he pulls a tupperware from the fridge, cheeks rosy as he waves it. “made some soup last night.”

he makes his own soup. the thought is so endearing that it takes everything in you not to sigh; you settle for a smile. “carrot and coriander?”

“you can tell from one glance?”

you shrug. “s'my favourite.”

“really?” matty's face seems to light up. “mine too,” he busies himself with putting the tupperware in the microwave, taking his time pressing buttons and turning dials before looking bashfully at you. “so, you had a nice time at the wedding, then?”

“i did, thank you. do you, um,” you start, suddenly shy. “d'you want to see some photos from it, while you're waiting for the soup to heat up?”

he nods back just as shyly, sitting quite awkwardly on the seat next to yours; while you open your photos app, matty twists a stray curl around his finger, and the movement seems to send your nerves into vibration as well as the molecules in the air. with a series of shallow breaths, you locate the folder of the wedding pictures and set your phone on the table. “feel free to flick through them, if you like.”

“thank you,” matty sits forward, carefully swiping through the album. you lean on your elbow, doing your best not to beam adoringly at the way he looks intently at each photo before moving to the next. “the venue is really beautiful.”

“yeah, it was stunning.”

the next picture is one of you in your bridesmaid dress, taken by your sister the morning of the wedding. you watch, slightly heartsick, as matty's mouth falls open as he looks at you; the feeling worsens when he tentatively does the same thing in real life, those pretty eyes of his sparkling as he smiles softly. “so are you. really. like,” he looks down at the photo again, shaking his head slightly before looking back up at you. “that colour is beautiful on you. honest. you look incredible.”

“thank you,” the words come out in a whisper, and the two of you silently smile at each other for a moment until you clear your throat. “um, there are more of the official pics on my instagram, let me… actually, do you have my private account?”

“oh, no,” matty shakes his head again - god, you love the way his hair moves. “just the one for your writing.”

“well,” you tap on the app with an almost-imperceptibly shaky finger. “that's the username there, if you'd like to follow. no pressure, of course. don’t wanna fuck up your algorithms or anything.”

your nervous chuckle at the end of the sentence turns to a giggle when you see matty's face as you share your username; it lights up so much that you'd be forgiven for thinking he'd just won the lottery. he pulls his own phone out and taps away at it. “you don't have to follow me back, by the way,” his cheeks flush a deep red, a beautiful colour. “m'not posting anything interesting.”

doubtful. he might be one of the most interesting people you've ever met, all talent and sweetness and a wealth of cultural understanding wrapped up in a sweater and a pretty face. “no, i'd like to.”

“alright. thank you,” matty's cheeks seem to get even redder as he watches you hit follow back, face twitching as though he’s trying to stop himself smiling too big. when the microwave dings, he all but skips over to it, almost tripping over the leg of his chair in a sweetly awkward way; he swears under his breath when he lifts the steaming container out, turning back sheepishly to look at you. “sorry.”

“don't worry,” you grin at him, feeling slightly bold. “i still think you're sweet when you swear.”

he giggles, and the noise makes your heart leap; in addition to being one of the most interesting people you think you've ever met, matty healy is without doubt the cutest. watching his lips pout in concentration as he stirs the soup and checks the temperature, you briefly imagine what they would feel like against your own, how he would be if the two of you were to kiss. just as giggly and endearingly awkward as he usually is, you think - eager to please, lips and tongue a little sloppy and unsure but enthusiastic enough for you not to mind, slightly unsure of where to put his hands so as to not make you uncomfortable… the scene is as clear as day in your head, and you really, really want to recreate it. you'd devour him right now if you could, the sweetheart.

and then, matty reaches up to get a bowl from the shelf, the hem of his shirt goes with him, and your want to devour him suddenly takes on a less pg-rated meaning than it did a second ago.

he has a fucking hip tattoo.

you’re pretty sure it's only a sliver of the full design you can actually see, but the hints of red and blue and black ink and the glimpse of his happy trail are enough to fuck you up completely. as you register what you're seeing - what you're discovering about the seemingly buttoned-up, shy, unassuming-to-everyone-but-you matty - your breath catches in your throat, forcing you to cough quite obviously on the mouthful of lukewarm tea you'd just taken. one cough turns into another, and you clap a hand over your mouth to make your tattoo reaction attack the least obvious it can be.

still, the ever-perceptive man across the kitchen notices, running over to crouch in front of you with concern filling those beautiful eyes of his. “you alright, darling?”

darling?! no, you most certainly aren't alright.

but you can't tell matty that, so you stick to gesturing to let him know you'll reply once you've managed to swallow your tea. “i am, yeah, thanks. tea just, y'know, went down the wrong way.”

matty tilts his head. “you sure?”

“yeah,” you smile, slightly embarrassed. “really. thank you, though.”

“of course,” he smiles in return, knee brushing lightly against your leg as he steadies himself; he looks down, eyes widening as he registers how close the two of you are, and quickly stands. “i'd better, y'know, get my lunch.”

you nod, despite the strange loneliness settling into your bones at the lack of him next to you. “i can head back to the office, if you want peace?”

“no, no, please stay!” matty all but gasps, turning to look at you like a deer caught in headlights - he clears his throat, blinking a few times before speaking again. “please don't feel the need to leave on my account, i mean. or feel obliged to talk, really - i was just going to read.”

“you're sure i won't be a bother to you?”

matty smiles warmly, shaking his head. “that'll never happen.”

christ.

“okay,” you whisper, winking at him - and savouring the little giggle that bubbles out of him when you do - before turning back to your laptop.

matty settles at the table a minute or so later, pulling a paperback from his back pocket and holding it open quite attractively with one hand. you peek over the rim of your laptop at him every so often, never for more than a couple of seconds at a time; partially to avoid the mortification of him catching you, but mostly because if you look at him any longer you know your mind will wander back to that fucking hip tattoo of his, and what it might look like completely visible to you, and what it might feel like under your lips, and what noises matty might make if you slowly dragged your tongue all over it before moving to the side to lick a wavy line up the length of his-

enough. he's literally right there.

the room feels hot, all of a sudden, your cheeks flushing and throat drying to match. on only slightly shaky legs, you pick up your waterbottle and head to the water fountain, crouching as best you can to fill it. even though he stays silent, you can feel matty’s eyes on you from across the room, but it doesn't bother you or freak you out in the way that other men ogling you at a water fountain would - it's quite obvious that matty has some sort of more-than-platonic affection for you, but his gaze has always been one of appreciation and awe when it comes to you, not the predatory one you've come to expect from men. and yet, his is the only male gaze that makes you feel slightly nervous, unused to being looked at with such reverence and tenderness by an attractive boy; in complete contrast, though, it also makes you lower your guard, pull down the bricks from the wall you've built around your heart, and allow yourself to actually feel something for matty, for once. something good, honest, promising.

matty looks up from his book as you sit down, smiling pleasantly. he opens his mouth as if to talk, and then closes it immediately, shaking his head slightly.

this intrigues you. “you okay, matty?”

“hmm? oh, yeah, i was just thinking,” his cheeks go a shade of pink you would buy in blush form if you could find it. “when you were first talking about the wedding… you said although, and then we got off-topic slightly. what, um, what were you going to say, if you don't mind me asking?”

“oh, right,” you wrack your brain, doing your best to not get distracted by how cute you find his perception. “i think i was going to say something about how, as good as it all was, there's nothing like a family wedding to remind you of how single you are.”

his jaw falls open. “you… you don't have a boyfriend? wait, sorry,” he blinks. “or a partner?”

you shake your head, biting the inside of your lip to stop yourself smiling. “no boyfriend, no. and thus, constantly advised by a never-ending flock of aunts that i should get one so i could get married.”

“christ,” matty winces. “yeah, my cousin's getting married in a couple of months - not looking forward to everyone asking me when i'm going to meet a nice girl and settle down, as if i can answer.”

no girlfriend. how interesting. “you're single? really?”

he rolls his eyes, still smiling at you. “be serious. course i am.”

“i am being serious! that surprises me,” you lean on one elbow, tilting your head to look at him. “you're lovely, matty.”

matty’s eyes widen, and he blinks adorably a few times before he smiles shyly again. “thank you. i think the same about you.”

“you do?”

he simply nods, total sincerity in those pretty eyes.

you feel your cheeks warm, but you make no effort to hide it. “thank you.”

matty shrugs. “just telling the truth, darling,” he looks panicked when he realises what he's said. “sorry for calling you that, twice, it just-”

“i like it, matty, it's alright,” you say reassuringly. “and i like-”

“oh, thank god you're both here,” marianne bursts into the room, carrying her laptop; you frown petulantly at her for ruining your moment, but shuffle your chair round closer to matty's so she can sit at the table too. “something weird’s happening.”

matty squints. “what d'you mean by weird?”

marianne pushes her laptop towards you both. “there's overlap in your planned reviews - the band you're going to see at the end of next week, matthew, have just been announced as the opener for the next Big Gig. i need to know how we want to go about this.”

“oh,” he looks at you. “i don't mind if you want to just review them as part of yours.”

you're shaking your head vehemently before he even finishes talking. “no, that's not fair,” you tap your lips with your index finger the way you always do when you concentrate, trying to ignore the glow within your body when you see matty looking at them from the corner of your eye; inspiration strikes, and you turn to marianne. “matty could come with me, couldn't he? if he reviews their headline gig, and then he does a follow-up review of their opening set in the Big Gig feature - we could just do a joint byline, work together on it.”

both of them turn to look at you in slight shock. marianne is the first to speak, her words trickling out slowly as she processes the fact you've just agreed to let someone else work on a Big Gig for the first time. “you're… happy with that?”

“if matty is, yeah,” you turn to him, smiling. “sound alright?”

he beams. “more than. thank you.”

“of course,” you turn back to the boss. “there you go. sorted.”

she sighs, relieved. “thank goodness for that. alright,” she stands, picking up her laptop and heading back to the main office. “i'll coordinate press passes. thanks for making that simple - you're both stars.”

“anytime!” you call after her, before turning back to matty. “you're sure you're happy to do this? i realise i've just given you more work to do, but…”

he laughs, a beautiful sound. “nah, i don't mind. also,” he shuffles in his seat, bashful again. “i actually have a spare ticket for the first show, if you'd like it - bought it before i saw it was on the review roster. doesn't seem fair that i get to go to two gigs while you only get one, i think. i mean, no pressure, obviously, but the offer's there.”

god, he’s so fucking cute. how could you ever say no to him? “i'd like that a lot, matty, thank you,” you beam at him. “i think us working together is going to be a lot of fun.”

matty beams back just as enthusiastically. “i think so too.”

#mads muses #mads does writing #office nerd au #matty healy fanfiction #matty healy fanfic #matty healy fic #matty healy fluff #matty healy x reader #matty x reader

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curiouskurona · 6 days

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honestly im tired of ppl only lieking lizzie bc of her skill in the book of atlantic . im tired of " lizzie supportive " posts that basically boil down to " i know she may SEEM liek some stupid awful girly girl , but look , theres a part where shes bloody !! what a badass !! "

the book of atlantic arc definitely gave her character some more depth , i understand that some ppl may have lieked her moar once they got some insight into tha things she was dealing with . but it feels liek im expected to liek her in SPITE of her girliness . or rather , liek im only allowed to liek how cutesy and girly she is because , " dont worry , shes ALSO a fencer !! dont worry , she was really cool n fought zombies liek a badass !! "

ive been in tha fandom since liek 5th grade ( i dont remember what year that was , but im 24 now , to put things in perspective . ive been here for a while , i know what tha fandom has been liek ) . to be fair ive interacted w tha fandom on and off over tha years , but it rlly seems liek tha attitude has shifted from :

before boa : ew lizzie is so annoying i hate her shes just a stupid pink girly girl that gets in tha way of everything , ciel definitely hates her hahaha !! eew she sucks !!

after boa : aaaah omg lizzie is so wonderful shes such a badass , omg she looks cute AND can use a sword , slay queen !! give us girls who are feminine AND kick ass 😎

okay .. what abt girls that are just feminine tho ... why did she have to showcase her fencing skills and defend ciel from zombies to be allowed to be cutesy . why was she considered super annoying and awful before boa , but now its liek we can " let that part of her slide " bc we know what shes capable of on tha inside . its tha misogyny innit .

idk . i know how rancid this fandom was wen i was a kid , which is why i distanced myself from it in tha first place . so really i should be happy that lizzie is finally getting some love , that things are changing for tha better , and that tha fandom is looking liek a better and better place . but it still bothers me that ppl only support this idea of lizzie as a cute badass . that when she was only known as a girly girl , everyone hated her . for what .. ? she never did anything to deserve so much hate , unless you count being a cutesy 13-14 year old girl a crime . but now that shes displayed that shes capable of violence , tha tone has shifted into loving her . okay .

idk . ranty post is moar of a diary / journal entry lol . and again i understand ppl who werent fans of her bc she didnt have much depth turning around and lieking her moar bc of how tha manga went into her struggles as a person . but tha ppl who hated her for being " annoying " suddenly kissing her ass bc she got to use her fencing skills and now they wont shut up about it ,, buzz off . can you appreciate something else about her please . shes kind and cheerful and cute and hardworking but all i ever hear is " wow , girls can wear dresses and fight at tha saem tiem !! "

#this post has been in my drafts for so long i had to change the age i said i was lol #im 24 now #lol #elizabeth midford #lizzie #kuroshitsuji #black butler #kuroshit #sure ill put this in the main tags . sure ill be flamed alive #oh wait should i tag this fir spoilers #spoilers #kuroshitsuji spoilers #black butler spoilers

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sparxaf · 7 months

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The Inscrutability of Alex

So I might be working on an S7 Alex fic. I mean, I'm probably not working that. But I could be. Maybe. Anyway, for mysterious reasons, I decided to replay the current episodes because I found myself confused by a couple things with Alex. And a second playthrough left me even more confused. I sent @mrsbsmooth a nearly three minute, babbling voice note, asking her if I was missing something, because I cannot figure out how to write him.

This character is described by multiple others as having "golden retriever" energy. Something he absolutely does not have. I'd say he's not even that playful. It's just bizarre for anyone to say that. Nothing about him is overly energetic. Both Raf and Bryson are much better described like that. Alex has the most whistle-whilst-mowing-the-lawn-in jorts-dad energy ever. Golden retriever he is not.

So okay, his energy doesn't match the description. That's not a huge issue on its own. But like...who is he? He says he's not cocky, just confident.

Hmmm. Never is a strong word, innit?

Now, a less cynical person might say that Fusebox is just writing a realistic depiction of someone who is unaware of his own cockiness, but since I am a cynical asshole, I'm saying that Fusebox is not in the business of nuance. They make the same amount of money whether they spend the extra energy to give it depth or not. So they're never gonna bother with that. This is just inconsistent writing. Now, we all know that Alex's most overtly acknowledged trait is his desire to "Take things slow." He says he's looking for the one, and he's not gonna rush that. He knows things move fast there, but he still wants to take his time. He didn't kiss Estelle on the first night. He was uncomfortable with Summer being so forward before he knew anything about her. So how does a guy who takes things slow answer a question from a virtual stranger about what he does for a living?

A dirty joke. Yes, very much setting the tone for his lack of cockiness and his desire to take things slow 🙄 Though I do enjoy MC responding with "Very presumptive, but good to know." 😆😆😆 Not to mention, when he finds out you can snog during the icebreaker, he's not like, "Um too soon." Instead his eyes light up like he can't wait. It's so baffling. So let's say maybe he's just a slow mover who is also really flirty by nature. That feels like he's sending mixed signals at best and manipulating you at the worst. Now this one really threw me for a loop. There's a gem scene where you can ask the boys to tell you something cute about themselves. Alex tells a story about having a crush on a gym bunny and how it led him to weightlifting in order to ask her out. But he kept putting it off and by the time he finally got the nerve, she was already dating someone. So he learned not to hesitate. He learned to just go for it.

Um... what? That's a strange perspective to have for someone whose entire ethos is "Take it slow." Now, I'm aware that he is very straight forward with MC about where his head is at, so perhaps he just meant that he doesn't waste time letting someone know he's interested, but he still wants to take the relationship slow? I don't know. Last, but not least, on night one, you couldn't even kiss Alex (unless I'm misremembering). You could only snuggle. But on night two, Alex says he still wants to take it slow, but he wants to a little something. So the game gives us some options. And the first choice was to do bits. Now, this might be my fault, but I assumed that "bits" in this case would be some kissing and making out. Heavy petting. Maybe some under the clothes touching. But, to my utter shock, no it's not just a heavy make out sesh. Nope. He finger blasts you. He straight up bypasses the face lips and tiddies, and goes straight to rubbing the bean and shoving a digit inside of your person. It's an awfully intimate act for someone like him who's only been alone with you three times, and beyond challenge smooches (if you chose to even take those), has still never really made out with, nor kissed you privately. I would like to clarify that I'm not judging how fast or slow anyone goes in their personal lives. But I am I'm judging this character's pace in relation to the things he's been saying about his pace.

I wrote most of this before the last batch of episodes so I'll only lightly touch on the fact that Alex seems nearly ready to ask you to marry him the day after bringing you to the villa. So "taking it slow" really went out the window altogether.

Long story long, there are aspects to Alex I like. I mean, I'm writing him right now (OR AM I?) so it's not all bad. But it's really hard to attempt any canon reinterpretation, when I can't even sort out what canon is.

It just doesn't make sense. Is he cocky or not? Is he a slow mover or does he believe in not wasting time? Is he an inner city gym rat bro, or is he a home-on-the-range papa who wants to build you a cottage, and make babies? Is his whole "slow burn" thing some kind of manipulation to hide that he's a fuckboy (which would be hilarious) or he's just very badly written?

I love a good, lively conversation, so go ahead and let me know your thoughts. But for those who are rather... overly invested in Alex, feel free to yell at me about his perfection and how wrong and dumb I am. I look forward to deleting your vitriol.

#litg fanfic #love island the game #litg s7 #litg stick or twist #litg alex #litg alex makes no sense #does he take it slow or not?#finger-gate

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ell-arts · 8 months

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There's a ton of strange things going on with this show, including using parodies (namely the Terminator for "Stand By Your Pac-Man" and The Wizard of Oz for "The Wizard of Odd".

All it does is aid to the already large filler that no one (or close to it) particularly needed. Not to mention the crass jokes that started showing up as early as episode 2.

Episode. Two.

So here's my question: What made you stay in the Fandom after the shows untimely cancelation? Was it for the memes and shitposts that people made off It? Or was it for the idea that, in a way, it had more potential to it?

Personally it's both the former and latter, but I've always wanted to know what made someone stay in this weird phase of Pac-Man history

That's a loaded question XD

First, I must acknowledge that my answer is only one perspective out of many. Other fans may have varying reasons for why they stayed in the fandom.

So, as for me?

I'm a simple person. I'm easily entertained :)

It's the little things that I am drawn to. Not the crass/toilet humour, of course, but I like the little design details and how the main trio looks out for each other, and some of the funny shenanigans that the ghosts end up in. I can block out/ignore the poorly done bits and genuinely enjoy the rest of it that was fun to watch.

I really don't mind the amount of parodies, I think each of them at least had something that was still relevant to the story - Stand By Your Pac-Man set the stage for Apex's reveal (in that the Pacinator revealed it was someone else who completely wiped out the yellows, however brief the reveal may be), and while Wizard of Odd was more filler than anything else, I still found enjoyment in it and we got a bit of lore on other parallel dimensions being a thing in the universe. The one parody episode I can think of that was 100% filler and probs unnecessary was Rip van Packle.

I'll admit, PMATGA is not the best show nor can I pretend that it's as great as other stories I'm interested in, like The Chronicles of Narnia or HTTYD. Whenever new people ask me what shows I'm interested in, I make a big effort not to mention PMATGA lmao. It's a guilty pleasure, simple as that.

To be honest, it was neither the memes nor the wasted potential that I stayed for (trust me, 15-year-old me was actually quite miffed about people dissing my favourite show at the time XD).

I stayed because I had sort of build up my own sets of fanons and theories of the show that I could latch onto, and build up upon for years to come, because the characters of this show are surprisingly good to use as a foundation for bigger and more epic stories, sort of like that one meme where the world you created in your head about the show is better than the show itself lol. I guess that did stem out of the show's wasted potential.

And, well, hyperfixation is a thing, innit? That definitely played a small role in why I stayed.

Over the years my interest in the show did wean a little, and up until the beginning of the year, I had been entirely inactive in the fandom. Perhaps I did lose interest in the show then. But I didn't lose interest in the fan stories I've come up with in the meantime. I guess that's the biggest reason why I stayed - I started something with my fanfics, and I've spent a lot of time building up their plots, so much so that to just leave it all now would feel wrong. Especially since I still get enjoyment out of them.

It ends up being a domino effect in and of itself tbh, because as I write more for the fanfics that I refuse to abandon, the more stories and fan content I come up with, and so the drive continues for as long as it's capable of doing so.

#pmatga #pacman and the ghostly adventures #ask

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lovebillyhargrove · 1 year

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A follow-up to this (Life's a quest, innit)

***

Steve's running. He's running as fast as he can, to the stairs, down the stairs, he can't feel his legs, he's one bolt of electricity, he has to get to him. He needs to tell Billy that he knows, he knows it was him, he figured it out. It's too late, how could Steve be so oblivious, it's too fucking late now because Billy is laying there in a pool of black blood with a gaping hole in his chest, and Steve just needs him to hold on a second longer, he has to let him know, it hasn't been just a game, it's been real, Steve's been seeing Billy in his dreams for months now, please oh god, please

"Steeve.. Steve!"

"Steve!!"

Steve's shaking, he's shaking all over because this can't be happening, he needs to get to Billy, he needs to tell him

"Steve! Wake up!"

Steve opens his eyes to the dim light of the hospital room. A woman in white is hovering over him

"Are you okay? Steve, are you with me?"

"Yes.. Yes, Mrs. .. Miller. I'm .. "

He's sitting up in the armchair. He must've fallen asleep. Again.

"I must've .. it was a bad dream."

"It's 9.30 already. Are you getting home or should I fetch a blanket for you?"

"Oh, sorry. It's so late. I uh .. I'll probably get going. Have an early shift tomorrow."

Steve's sliding his hand up and down his face. He's fully back to Earth now.

"Have a nice night, Mrs. Miller. I'll come by tomorrow."

"Good night, Steve! Drive safely! Like I always say it, this boy is lucky to have you as a friend."

Steve smiled weakly, and looked at the hospital bed. Billy has been in a coma for almost a month now.

"Bye, Billy. See you tomorrow."

***

Steve was getting used to the fact that sometimes miracles happened.

Billy was alive. After the injuries that no living person was able to survive, he was still breathing. With the help of the machine, and in a coma, but he was alive.

Doctors didn't say much about the perspectives. Didn't want to give false hope, and Steve understood that. Max visited Billy almost daily. El did, too, before Mrs. Byers decided to uproot the whole family. Billy's father came once or twice, but Steve didn't see him. Each of the kids stopped by once in a while, usually accompanying Max.

Steve was here every day for two weeks straight. Before work, or after, depending on his shift, but he made it a rule of visiting Billy every day. The first couple of weeks doctors didn't allow visitation, but as soon as they gave a green light, Steve and Max were the first ones to enter Billy's room.

Steve remembers that he cried when he came back home after the first visit. He cried real tears, cried himself to sleep.

The next day he picked up "Romeo and Juliet" that he had borrowed from the Hawkins Library a couple of weeks ago. Sat in the armchair near Billy's bed and read it to him.

"These violent delights have violent ends, And in their triumph die; like fire and powder, Which, as they kiss, consume: the sweetest honey

Is loathsome in his own deliciousness, And in the taste confounds the appetite: Therefore love moderately: long love doth so."

***

Steve couldn't say that he liked reading much, on the contrary, but the times when he was reading those lines to Billy felt special.

Steve also talked to Billy. Every day.

"Hey .. just so you know, I loved the quest so much. I still have your pendant, so you better wake up if you want to get it back."

"Hey, Hargrove. I really thought it was a girl. Because .. because it's Hawkins and nothing extraordinary ever happens here. Everyone and everything has to be normal. Well, I don't really care."

"I didn't allow myself to think it could be you. And .. I really didn't think it was possible. But here it is .. a miracle. It was you. And I didn't know. I thought .. I thought it would all disappear, the things that I felt for you. But they didn't .. disappear. They are all still here, you just need to wake up, Billy. I have so much to tell you."

"But soft! what light through yonder window breaks?

It is the east, and Juliet is the sun!— Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon, Who is already sick and pale with grief, That thou her maid art far more fair than she."

"Billy, you're probably gonna laugh at me, but hey, you .. you've always been like the sun. So hot, so radiant. You were burning me, Billy, and you didn't even know that. You are the sun, and you need to .. you need to rise again. Just like the sun rises every day. It's the laws of nature, Hargrove. You don't have a choice."

***

One day Steve went to Main Street to the florist's and ordered the same kind of bouquet that he had picked up a month ago. Lots of roses, red like blood, wrapped in gray paper. The lady who took the order recognised him and he asked her how her mother was doing. They chatted a bit, and the next day Steve brought a bunch of flaming roses to Billy's room, put it on the bedside table.

"I don't know which flowers you like, Hargrove, and if you like them at all. Just want to let you know .. that I loved the ones that you had given me, remember? .. Is it okay for us to give each other flowers? .. I don't care if it isn't according to some kind of normal rules. To hell with rules."

"Let's play a game, shall we? I'll name a flower, and you'll move a finger if it's your favourite one, okay?"

It's either Billy didn't like any flowers, or he was too deep in a coma. Unreachable. Because he didn't move a finger even once.

***

One day Steve took the picture of the ocean to the hospital with him - the one that had been mailed to his house, the 11th note.

"This photo is really beautiful, man. Did you take it yourself? I guess that's California, right? Where you're from? This is actually one of my dreams, like I've always wanted to see the ocean. We can drive to the East coast, or West coast, wherever you want. You just need to open your eyes, Billy. So many good things ahead of you. I promise."

***

One day Steve finds Max sniffling, eyes red, looking out of the window in Billy's room.

"What if he never wakes up, Steve? What then??"

"Max, I .. I don't know. I guess we need to believe. To hope. Your brother is strong. He's so strong. He'll pull through."

He has to. He has to do it, for me. Am I being selfish? Fuck this, I am. I am selfish. I want him for me. I want to find out how it would feel to do all those things with him I've been wanting to do. He has to wake up.

Steve cries again, when he lays in bed sleepless that night.

He needs one more miracle.

***

"Give me my Romeo; and, when he shall die,

Take him and cut him out in little stars, And he will make the face of heaven so fine That all the world will be in love with night.."

***

Just .. wake up, Billy. Please.

***

Fin

#harringrove #billy x steve #harringrove fic

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alexturne · 2 years

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Arctic Monkeys aren’t done evolving (Alternative Press)

By Ashley Reese. Published: October 18, 2022

ALEX TURNER IS THINKING ABOUT a parking lot. Specifically, one in Hollywood, California where Arctic Monkeys performed on April 26, 2007 as musical guests on Jimmy Kimmel Live. At the time, Turner was 21 years old, delivering a blistering rendition of “Brianstorm” to a crowd that lined up around the block to see the latest from the most hyped band coming out of the British indie-rock scene. There were the Libertines, Franz Ferdinand, the Rapture, Bloc Party, the Cribs, the Kooks, but there was no one quite like Arctic Monkeys.

“It’s funny, innit?” Turner smirks. Currently, the Arctic Monkeys bandleader is at ease and upbeat sitting at a New York City hotel restaurant, awaiting a cappuccino. “I haven’t thought about that for a while, but when you said it then… I feel like I can remember what T-shirt I was wearing or something.”

As Turner, 36, muses about how surreal it is to reminisce about gigs they played 15 years ago, he pauses. “Not to get bogged down in memory lane,” he says apologetically. “But there’s something about how vividly some of that stuff stays with you, and maybe not what you would expect to.”

Memory lane for Turner is largely paved in polo shirts and leather jackets, shoulder-length locks and buzzcuts, tiny gigs and stadium tours, unremarkable Sheffield pubs and bohemian Hollywood bungalows. He has spent the majority of his life in a band, and most of that time in the limelight.

Too much reminiscing about the old days, though, is enough to make anyone feel washed, perhaps even someone as effortlessly cool as Turner. But after 20 years as one of the biggest rock bands around, it’s hard not to get hung up on the past every once in a while.

IT WAS 2002 WHEN Arctic Monkeys formed, gaining popularity by word of mouth and via free demo CDs making the rounds in their hometown of Sheffield and elsewhere in Northern England. From the jump, this was a band that was associated with their loyal fanbase: Even their MySpace page back in the mid-aughts was run by fans, not the band itself. By 2005, the band signed with Domino, and in 2006, their frenzied debut album Whatever People Say I Am, That’s What I’m Not became the fastest-selling debut album in U.K. music history.

This success was swiftly followed by Favourite Worst Nightmare in 2007, but they managed to avoid becoming nothing more than a landfill indie band in 2009 with the release of Humbug, a dark, sonic departure for the band that set the stage for a musical legacy that defied stagnancy and predictability. Their 2011 album Suck It And See was followed by AM, the record that not only solidified the band’s success in America — beyond the Anglophiles and indie sleaze veterans — but introduced them to Gen Z Tumblristas. The AM-era sound and aesthetic arguably overshadowed the previous iterations of the group, threatening to damn them — and especially Turner — to a leather-jacket-and-mop-top image forever.

Their 2018 album, Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino, put a swift end to that. The band’s delightfully oddball exploration of politics, tech and cheese from the perspective of characters on a lunar resort was a reminder to fans old and new to never make assumptions about where Turner is going next.

And yet, the band’s forthcoming studio album, The Car, still manages to defy expectations of what an Arctic Monkeys album can sound like. If TBHC was a divisive response, The Car may very well be seismic. So whether fans like it or not is almost irrelevant: It won’t stop them from stanning and duking it out over coveted concert tickets.

“The way the project was put together this time was not unlike, what in my mind I imagine, making a movie might be like,” Turner says of The Car. “Obviously, I have no idea what that's actually like, but there was a longer post-production period in this, trying to take a lot more care of how everything fits together, the space and the dynamics within it… making it a thing that works from start to finish,” he ponders, before smirking and pivoting to self-deprecation. “It isn’t like I haven’t been trying to do all along.”

But this time, he thinks, they’ve nailed it. This wasn’t the case with their first two albums.

“They’re all over the place when I think about them now,” Turner reflects. “It's fast and everything is just done really quickly and kind of reaching all over the place to figure out where it's going.”

And now, Turner’s attempt at this meticulously crafted project culminates into a record that feels like a natural progression from TBHC, if only in that Turner, drummer Matt Helders, guitarist Jamie Cook and bassist Nick O’Malley have decided to continue down the path of “fuck it, let’s make it weird.”

“The first song that really gave me a sense of ‘OK, this is a direction that feels like it might be quite exciting to move in’ was ‘There’d Better Be A Mirrorball,’” Turner says. From there, he built out a mellow and complex album over the next two years.

So it feels reductive to say that the first thought that came to mind when “There’d Better Be A Mirrorball” debuted was to conclude that they’re in their soft-rock era. Their dad-rock era. Their Steely Dan era.

Perhaps those are pejoratives, but at times the album does little to distance itself from such epithets, and it’s impossible to miss the Frampton-esque twang in “Jet Skis On The Moat.” Yet, it doesn’t find itself trapped in it. This project is lush, string-heavy and has a decidedly cinematic flair, with songs like “The Car,” evoking a scene of an outlaw driving out west with a body in the trunk like a scene out of Fargo, and “Hello You,” which has a decidedly funky Quincy Jones film score-like bent.

“I mean, I’m absolutely all right with that [comparison],” Turner says, visibly chuffed. (And, yes, he’d love to try his hand at a film score).

As Turner continues to explain — or, rather, justify — the heavy use of strings on the album, he stops; the conversation at a table nearby has grown louder by the second. He thoughtfully frets over the integrity of our recorded interview, but he also admits that he’s distracted. After suggesting we relocate to another part of the room, he grabs both of our coffees and belongings and perches at the bar. He says distractions help keep him on his toes, preparing him for the next gauntlet to come his way. And Turner is always careful with his words, rolling them around in his mouth a bit and seeing how they taste before sharing them with the class. It makes for a slightly slower interview, but a meaningful one without the puff. He’s methodical and patient, with himself above all else, at one point going as far as to regret not using a different synonym for the word “distortion.” And it’s this meticulousness that translates into his lyrical prowess, crafting words and phrases into increasingly cryptic songs.

So it’s fitting that The Car’s best and most striking song is neither groovy nor soft; instead, it’s a pulsating, spooky track called “Sculptures of Anything Goes,” and it’s the first song co-writing credit with Arctic Monkeys guitarist Cook since “Still Take You Home" on their debut album.

Turner immediately perks up when the song is mentioned.

“Jamie got the Moog synthesizer and was playing with this sort of computer rhythm, like a rolling drum machine,” Turner explains. “He was putting that through the synth, so when you hit the key, you'd hear the drum machine and then it’d fade out. I basically wrote a song for that sound.”

The result: an ominous little earworm with the dark sex appeal of 2013’s AM and the eerieness of Humbug. “There's a bit of [a] desert thing still hanging around,” Turner agrees, referring to Joshua Tree where much of Humbug, their third album, was recorded.

Drummer Helders also cited the track as his favorite, noting that “there's a lot of scope for a cool video for that one.” He even assumed that “Sculptures” would be the first single from The Car. But that would have been misleading. Turner was correct in saying that “Mirrorball” sets the tone for the album at large, and the reception of that one mirrors how well they might receive the album in general.

There’s plenty to love about The Car: Turner has never sounded so confident in his singing voice, and his songwriting still cements him as one of the generation's most talented songwriters. But there will be Arctic Monkeys fans — longtime devotees who knew the band from their frenzied “Teddy Picker” days, “Arabella” bandwagoners and “Batphone” evangelists alike — who will find themselves uninspired by the band’s latest.

Following the release of “Body Paint,” someone tweeted, “Free Matt Helders, let him play drums on the new album.” Fair enough: Helders’ spirited drumming style has certainly taken a backseat on this album, but it’s a move Helders says he doesn’t mind (he suggests seeing them live or listening to the older albums for those who miss his drumming so much). And while Turner doesn’t seem entirely indifferent about the idea of alienating his fans, he’s not interested in placating them to the point of regression. If anything, Turner is perplexed by those who don’t see that their growth as a band is less about abandonment and more about evolving.

“Maybe it's wishful thinking, but I'm like, can't you see that [throughline]?” Turner says.“ I feel like we’ve got to move on… it’s been almost 10 years since [AM]. I don't think there's a way to keep doing that. And I think [we] sound like the same band that we did in the beginning.”

In short, Turner is ready for AM’s pomade-laden funeral pyre.

THROUGHOUT ALL OF Arctic Monkeys’ eras, Turner maintains an admirable level of faith in his fans; but maybe that’s because he doesn’t see all the shitposting on social. Turner famously — and, perhaps, smartly — doesn’t have a public social media account. In fact, his aversion has led his fans to jokingly refer to him as a Luddite who doesn’t know how to operate a smartphone.

So, does that mean we shouldn’t expect Turner to show up on TikTok one day and do a dance challenge?

Over Zoom, Helders quipped, “That’s the day I leave the band.”

“I’m not ruling it out!” Turner exclaims. Then, he adds, somewhat distressed, “There aren’t enough hours in the day! And this is not a criticism of anyone at all… I just don't know how I would be able to do a good job.”

No need. The TikTok generation has picked up his slack, and they’re out in full force waiting in line for the band at gigs and online. While old heads stick to the official forums to theorize the meaning behind song snippets (for a while, its members debated whether “I Ain’t Quite Where I Think I Am” is about The Great Gatsby), the stan accounts who shitpost all day get the most spotlight. The band’s single “Body Paint” — a cynical love song, accompanied by a beautifully shot music video — has already been memed to death with Turner’s faraway staredown set to elevator music and clips of him playing guitar on a rotating platform compared to food heating up in the microwave. The shitposts come from a place of love, but it’s hard to imagine Turner having a full understanding of some of his loudest online fans’ antics. Still, it’s undoubtedly them who will help shape the narrative following The Car’s release, and help the band continue to build their legacy.

But it’s a fool's errand, bothering to have any real expectations going into a new Arctic Monkeys release. Every record has offered something different — even their sophomore album, Favourite Worst Nightmare, released just a year after their record-breaking debut, experimented with some darker elements that would be fully explored in the psych-rock-adjacent Humbug, turned lovesick in Suck It And See, terminally horny on AM and out of this world on Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino.

No noise will prevent anyone from clamoring to see them live next year when they travel to North America, Europe, the U.K. and Ireland to promote The Car on their stadium tour; the bloodbath over concert tickets in recent weeks has become so unhinged that some fans have jokingly tried to cancel the band in an attempt to dissuade potential concertgoers from buying tickets. Every tweet announcing additional tour dates is met with fans wondering — or rather, demanding to know — why the band aren’t hitting their neck of the woods: “Come to Brazil in 2023;” “Drop Asia tour;” “Eastern Europe when?”

It’s a far cry from the parking lot.

#arctic monkeys #alex turner #interview #the car

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10piecechickenmcnugget · 6 months

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Headcanon anon here and I was just reading through the blog and I started to feel bad.

Like legitimately bad.

I am a full blown Inniter. And I am a HUGE c!Tommy fan.

Is Cc!Tommy “a freak who likes to Roleplay mental disorders he doesn’t have”? Am I ablest? I have autism but internalized ableism is a thing.

oh that sucks i’m really sorry :( i found it funny cause i don’t give a shit about her opinions but i completely understand how her posts can be like that

it is very much not ableist to be a c!tommy enjoyer i promise and from my perspective at least i don’t see anything wrong with cc!tommy wanting to do the exile arc for his character or any of the ccs “roleplaying disorders they don’t have.” like obviously cc!bbh has never been possessed by some weird ass egg but that doesn’t make the entire egg arc morally wrong, and obviously that’s different from actual child abuse but you get the idea. a lot of the dsmp characters went through incredibly real mental health experiences that they most likely have never experienced irl but it’s fiction. it’s a fictional roleplay series it’s not real they put their characters in situations. cc!aimsey is not a real life disabled cane user but that doesn’t mean c!aimsey being one is ableist, in fact it makes me really happy as a disabled person to get that representation. cc!wilbur obviously did not commit suicide but that doesn’t mean his characters mental health spiral and suicide was a bad thing for him to do. they’re literally just putting their minecraft ocs in situations, that’s the entire point of fiction and fictional characters. there’s plenty of stories in various forms of media about certain experiences that have been made by people who did not go through those experiences but (provided it’s handled respectfully) it’s still good and fine representation and fine to make.

this got really long but yeah, you’re not ableist for being an inniter c! or cc!, and as a matter of fact that person is very blatantly ableist in multiple posts and just overall an asshole

#in the wise words of conarcoin minecraft is not real life #10piecetalks #tw suicide ment #ask to tag #feel free to add on/correct me on anything

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infinitethree · 1 year

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OOC::

This playlist is unique because I can't tell you who it's for.

...Well, that's technically not true. I just don't want to, because I want to play riddlemaster and have people try to figure it out.

The character linked to this playlist is the one who I've been not-so-subtly alluding to. They're very important!

(And, no; they're not the Scribe.)

Unlike Innit's playlist, this one has nearly every song my version does. There were a few instances of duplicate songs, so those got cut.

I'll explain a little more about the ways a song can be linked to a character under the cut. If you don't want to guess, then, ehh...I guess have a playlist of good songs?

Songs might be literal, metaphorical, directly about, and/or how the character in question feels about a different character. On top of that, it could be at any point in that character's story. Thus, the meaning can be wildly different between characters. For instance, "creature" by half-alive shows up in Innit, Aver, and Day's playlists. (At least, the full ones.)

So, for Innit, that song is a combination of how it felt about Dream and to some extent Daz/Tommy for most of Blood & Gold. Dream was the one who gave it the final push to form; Dream is the one who freed it from its cage. Daz/Tommy was the one who (unintentionally) gave it a shape-- sculpted it, in a sense. Like clay. Later on, the meaning shifts to be bitter and vengeful. It is made from Daz, after all-- and it will use those cruel lessons like knives to It kept those cruel lessons close, fired them in the kiln of its hatred for years.

For Aver, it's how he feels about the not-family + his general place in life and how Toma feels about him. He's learned a lot and knows he has both personal power and the backing of powerful people who genuinely care about him. If he stumbles, there will be people to catch him. If he falls, they'll hold out their hands to help him back up.

For Day, it's a two-way thing; it's how he feels about his sons and how they feel about him. In a way, he had to re-learn how to be human when he met them. He had almost lost the will to keep going...and then Theo grabbed his sleeve and told him that he needed to come back. They took his worn clay and gave him a purpose again. (Fun fact; this is one of Day's most fitting songs. I've gone into depth about how basically every line works for him with a friend.) His sons' perspective is more obvious. He's been their teach and protector. Theo, Dee, Orph, and Atlas actually gave him a name to fit with their new ones; Aether. The primordial of light, because he was-- and remains-- their beacon of hope. (Additional fun fact; Day was too attached to DayDream, but he still considers it a part of his name. His sons gave it to him, and he'll be damned if he gets rid of something so precious.)

So...the meaning of a song can vary a hell of a lot even for a single character. To get a better read about who Mystery might be, I suggest sending in some questions.

If you're stumped on who to ask, there's a handy list of characters linked in the pinned post as well as the detail doc. I'll be adding this playlist to both as well, just so it can be found easier.

Good luck!

#cocochaos #long post #hehe fae tricks >3c #MusicalMayhem

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inventors-fair · 1 year

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“Signature Spellbreakers” Commentary: Thinking with Portals

WHOO boy this week was a lot harder to judge than I thought it was going to be. I will say, the runners and winners really hit the sweet spot between “exactly how we want these abilities to work” and “something new to build around.” Quite a few cards in the middle had some...technical or formal items to address. But it’s hard. It’s REALLY hard.

I feel I should have emphasized what “draftable for a supplemental set” meant a little more, perhaps. Sometimes that’s a Horizons set, and sometimes that’s a Commander set, and sometimes it’s more like a Core set or Conspiracy set. No matter what, certain rules of elegance should still be followed, and there’s an implicit understanding that these cards have to integrate into the greater Magic beyond. Whatever your intentions may be, you are, and will always be, beholden to the multiverse.

Still, lots of fun things this week. Lots to lose my mind over. You can kind of tell the exact point at which I’ve been writing for too long and things get stream-of-consciousness-y. Like now! Oh gawd. We need to move on.

JUDGE PICKS are cards that, for reasons I have no specified this week, I feel deserve highlighted commendation. Let’s a-go.

@bread-into-toast — Borzzt, Caldaia Chef

We’re in the Jund of it now, fellas. I think this card is pretty obviously good, and for some reason, it’s not speaking to me. Food tokens are great, don’t get me wrong! In limited you’re gonna get your creatures, sac your lands, force sacrifice elsewhere and have a wonderful time getting yourself life’d up, so that’s all good. If this gets high enough, you’ll end up with a number of either creatures and/or Food and/or general sacrifice fodder. Nothing wrong with that. It’s pretty incredible that it adds artifact-sacrifice-combo-potential into the mix. With Chatterfang and a sacrifice outlet, it’s a three-card combo.

That might make it a huge pain in an Oathbreaker build. Jund’s ability to get so much fodder and the lack of Jund planeswalkers is a bit of a pickle, innit. Maybe it’s just that the combo potential asks so little of you to make such a good deck? I guess the ability to tutor is a bit of a pain for other players, too. I feel that this card would be, in planeswalker-centric constructed formats, basically what Korvath is to Commander. And this card would go right into a Korvath deck, too. It’s a very well-made card that does exactly what it wants to do, so there’s nothing wrong with that. Maybe it’s the setting? It feels...expectedly silly, if that makes sense. I don’t feel the “planeswalker” part of this card from a character perspective. Probably just a ‘me’ thing.

Anyway, I’d build this card with Diabolic Intent or Scapeshift.

@corporalotherbear — Ales, Living Bulwark (JUDGE PICK)

I know you’re probably pronouncing this card as “Ah-lehs,” but it’s spelled like “ales,” as in beers, and if this is a Treefolk-type of character...perhaps it’s root beer? Anyway. This card’s not bad at all. It’s very easy to cycle through these abilities and either pump up the jams or get yourself an easy emblem. I do imagine you’d run this card with at least one Assault Formation effect, but that practically goes without saying. This card’s asking to be the defender champion without actually being a defender champion.

Honestly, my favorite part is that you don’t even have to get the emblem for this to be a great card. The +2 in limited is a fine pump to your team that protects your walker if need be, and if you don’t have any creatures then the -2 is a solid body to protect you until you can get something relevant to plus again. The only shame is that you can’t do it twice between turns; I believe, once you -2, state-based actions (704.5i) say that it’s put into a graveyard. That said, overall? It’s a decent limited walker with some strong flexibility. Not bad at all.

I would run this card with Tower Defense or Fell the Mighty

@curiooftheheart — Veeh, Mycoid Scavenger

This card is asking for a very specific build. I like that you have a focused type of walker for the set in which this card would be drafted; cards like M21 Sorin were sort of in the same vein, no pun intended. I can see how the three abilities allow this card to exist without necessarily having a single fungus. At the same time, that’s clearly what this card is intending to do. The question that I have in limited—whether or not this can be a build-around rare with a high enough as-fan—is easily answered: yes. The question that I have in constructed isn’t really about whether or not this card is good, but rather, is this doing something that other cards wouldn’t for this kind of deck?

Maybe the problem is that there’s one single fungus/saproling deck. You get the counters, you remove them, you make the tokens, and the variance requires a strict timing clock that leaves so little wiggle room. This card slots in and maybe takes the place of another token-maker or flexible counter-oriented card. Someone might feel the urge to build this deck. If there are new saprolings in a draft set, I’d be happy to think about playing with this card. As it stands, the concept of fungus tribal fulfills the needs of a niche audience to which my personal reaction is far less excitable considering the limitations of the tribe. I do like fungi, but I don’t think this particular contest was looking for so narrow a focus.

I suppose I would play this card with Diabolic Intent if I was boring, or Planewide Celebration for the hell of it.

@deg99 — Erik Leifsson, Interplanar Explorer

Conceptually, I see what you were trying to go for. The clutter on this card feels a little much, and I’d like to clean it up in a second. First of all, the likes: this is a card which, in limited AND constructed encourages a variety of deckbuilding patterns based on creatures, perhaps smallish creatures or more of a Zoo build, with some advantage and recursive strategies. That much I get. It’s a shame there’s not much space for, like, story-based critique with these cards, because I know you put a lot into that. Many folks did this week. Still, wording-wise, I want to edit some stuff.

Surprisingly, the first ability doesn’t need “at,” which caught me off-guard when I double-checked; that’s understandable. The second ability, IMO, is...tricky, because of order. Two might be better, because otherwise, we get into near Brainstorm-cheat-territory. “Look at the top two cards of your library and exile up to one of those cards. You may play that card this turn.” Actually, that could work for three easel, wouldn’t it? But you NEED to write the number out, not put the numeral “3.” I saw at least one person mentioning that in the workshop. The third ability needs to say “permanent CARD.” The last ability could be just “Reveal the top card of your library. If it’s (not “it is”) a creature card with power X or less, put it onto the battlefield.” You’re already looking at the top card, so why would you put a “may” clause in there for something where you already know you’re not going to do if there’s not something there? Last personal nitpick, but the name’s far too long with the cost. It’s not mechanically related, I know, but it just doesn’t look great.

I would run this card with Noxious Revival (lol) or Cabaretti Charm.

@dimestoretajic — Una, the Lost Samurai

What is this card’s glue? I think we need to take a big step back here. For one: Toggo explains how to properly create an equipment token, although the legendary introduction is also fine. Then the +1 requires a target; if you somehow have no creatures, because it’s a game of MTG where removal is prevalent, then you literally cannot activate that ability, and if your equipment gets removed, then it’s shut off as well. The -6 is the most baffling to me. I know that this contest was asking for a supplemental card, which means you can be flexible-ish with the mechanics, but this feels...quite random. Something that has to be justified with a flavor explanation (e.g. “this character planeswalked to New Phyrexia, imbued the weapons there and helped the rebellion”) is hardly relevant on cards that don’t also speak for themselves mechanically.

I do genuinely get what you might’ve been trying to do with this card. I see the intent of how it’s supposed to be played. Right now, it’s not there at all, and would require some significant tuning. Consider for future submissions the extent to which a card’s cohesion creates meaning to the player without additives that impede purpose.

If pushed, I’d play this card with Goldwarden’s Gamit or Open the Armory.

@dumbellsndragons — Gideon and Liliana, United

Huh. Out of all the cool things I kind of expected this week, this was not one of them. Storyline wise, this makes sense based on the card, even if things may not have worked out perfectly in the end—for one of them, anyway. I find it quite interesting how you’ve captured Liliana on this card. The wizard aspect is one side—although I could see more of an argument for cleric, considering her background. It’s the strengths of working together, though! A “planeswalkers throughout history” set would indeed be a cool capture, even if it’s a bit of a pipe dream. I’m not sure where this kind of card would show up, but, uh, yeah, it sure would show up. What an odd beast. I’m not complaining by any stretch of the imagination; this thing’s just cool.

It’s also quite a wordy card. I think. The precedent isn’t there as far as I know for the pluralization, but if pronouns are available, sure. The wordiness really does cramp this card’s style, though. Did you use an extended frame, like with Mind Sculptor-sized cards? The font cap could be helpful, too, just for legibility. But that’s all minutiae. I think this card is definitely good. I wouldn’t say it’s the most novel in terms of the abilities. I will say that it does it all correctly. The emblem is the only potential issue cost-wise. Ethereal Absolution was an absolute slam-dunk in limited, and having it so easily emblem’d is, to me, a lot more frustrating than fun. I would have made the -1 a -2 and the -5 and -6, personally. Still, can’t fault you for pushing this card a bit, considering. In the first ability, the “prevent all damage” rule should be its own sentence, IIRC.

I would run this card with any big token maker like Blot out the Sky.

@hiygamer — Ral, Lightning Crafter

I KNEW that Lightning Crafter was already a card! Not a Ral one, but yeah, no, the Goblin! ... Which is unrelated to this card. Right, so, the biggest little critique I have is that this card should probably be a rare. And...that’s about it, tweaking-wise! These are the hardest cards to really think and talk about. In every format in which they would be played, they’re certainly good and they do exactly what they’d want to do. Sure! And they’re also not particularly hair-raising enough for me to feel the tingly tickles of “this can be a deck.” I would play it in draft, and I’d have fun with saving mana for instant-speed things. The control player in me loves it. And the drawing/copying? Yes, it’s fun!

Where is that spark? I wish I could explain the hand-wavery-ness of this notion fully. I guess the adage is that doing everything right is good, but doing everything within the bounds of goodness is itself an impediment to greatness. ... This isn’t art school, I don’t know why I’m being so dramatic about this. I really do like the wording on that static ability. Teferi, Master of Time is such a fun card to play in my control piles. Adding red as an Oathbreaker would be just as awesomely fun. What can I say? Power is power. Shocks are shocking. There’s no cheatsidoodling with this card that hasn’t already been cheatsidoodled before, but dammit, I’m unstoppable.

I think I’d have fun playing this card with Karn’s Temporal Sundering or Narset’s Reversal

@knightofthelivingtable2 — Narset, Nexus Seeker

I think this card is...fine? It’s nice to have a spellslinging kind of deck, but there’s really not much to say about this card. Honestly, this feels like it belongs in the Shadows over Innistrad era, and its power level is quite weak compared to what I was expecting from this contest. What’s the deck this card wants to go in? Storm comes to mind, or like, flashback fun. The -1 ability airlifted from JtMS is still good like it was then. That -X lacks that excitement factor or really the cohesive factor that this card needs to really bring it home. Surveiling is good, I like that aspect.

Perhaps the issue is that this card is necessarily going to be compared to other blue planeswalkers and other forms of the monocolor planeswalker, certainly when deckbuilding. If you’re drafting this card, you hope that you pull enough instants/sorceries to matter, and I guess maybe there’s a graveyard theme. Oh, wait, I think I get it. This card is asking for the player to build completely around it, so as to rely on it, without providing the rest of the deck with the tools it needs to increase its power level to any significant degree. Narset, Parter of Veils locks and loots. The Jaces and Teferis speak for themselves. The Tezzerets want you to jam your favorite artifacts. What does this card ask of you? There are already better casting payoffs and permanent reductions available in these colors, and better. Storming off may be nice, but it’s just not a necessary component.

I suppose I’d play this card with Runic Repetition or Aminatou’s Augury.

@lich-of-the-golgari — Baran, Aethermage Adept (JUDGE PICK)

Oh hell yeah. That +2 is already singing my name. There are a lot of interesting creature-ways to make this morph stuff work—morph/manifest, yes, yes, I know—and boy howdy do I love ‘em. This card’s pretty straightforward and pretty easy to grok, assuming you know what manifest is. Hopefully if you open a booster pack there will be other cards that explain it. But, Esper creatures! The only “issue” (and by that I mean issue for all these other poor opponents) is that I’d run this card immediately in a blink-and-taxes deck, and nobody would be my friend. Is that necessarily a bad thing? For them. You’ve activated my evil side. Good job. And of course, in limited, it’s just straight-up phenomenal.

You’ve also activated my “wording nitpicking” trap card. So! For that -3, this is just a personal preference, but I would word that ability as: “Exile target creature. Until end of turn, for as long as that card is exiled, you may cast it and you may spend mana as though it were mana of any color to cast it.” See Covetous Urge and company. The reason is to clear up any ambiguity. For the -7, the wording of the emblem should be “Whenever you manifest a card, draw a card for each face-down permanent you control.” Also for ambiguity. But, hoooooo boy, yeah, this card’s a fun little thang.

I would...oh, lordy, what would my spell be? Aethermage’s Touch is fun, but... Swarm Surge? :3

@little-red-rabbit — Valentino, Dark Desires

Alright, so what we’re gonna do is go through each ability, fix up the wording, and then talk about what they’re doing.

- “Draw a card, then discard a card. You may cast the card discarded this way if it has mana value X, where X is half of Valentino’s loyalty, rounded up.” I get what you may be trying to enable here, this kind of pseudo-madness. The tracking of that value changing every turn is a little odd, and personally, I would find a different thing to do with that discard, because the ever-shifting nature makes it hard to build around if you need to have exactly half loyalty. Can you see how that might make the deckbuilding kind of hard, if you might not ever get the right card to discard? Make sure to check your punctuation and spelling.

- “Sacrifice a creature. Create a token that’s a copy of that creature, except it’s a 2/2 blue Illusion creature token in addition to its other types.” The reason why this card needs that wording is in case you animated something that isn’t normally a creature with an ability like that of Karn, the Great Creator. Make sure to capitalize your creature types.

- “You get an emblem with “Whenever a creature you control dies, target opponent loses life equal to the number of card types among cards in your graveyard.”” It’s not hard to respond to this with graveyard hate, but it’s not a bad emblem if you can work around it. I’m a little iffy on the fact that it targets, because if an opponent has hexproof or protection, all that +1ing to get here is for naught.

All in all, this is definitely a graveyard-centric planeswalker and has some strong backing to its abilities, but the odd +1 and the aforementioned necessary fixes kind of obscure the polish. I think that in limited, the open-ended graveyard focus would actually make for a neat card to build around, and in a format like Oathbreaker, you could have some toolbox fun.

I would play this card with To the Slaughter or something evil like Wash Away.

@misterstingyjack — Ral, Stormwielder (JUDGE PICK)

An energy planeswalker. You maniac. I love him. Honestly, even in a vacuum, this guy’s pretty cool. Ral on Kaladesh sounds like a gay disaster, but that’s my M.O. so what do I know. “Free” energy every turn is really fun when you can spin the Marvel and go nuts with storming off. There’s already an infinite turns combo to be made with copying, proliferation, etc, but that’s for people who want to be that way, and honestly...lol I would definitely do that who am I kidding. I feel that the only meta-annoyance is how reliant this guy is on energy, but the limited environment, again, would speak to that. This guy is niche to the max.

Is that bad? Hell no. NGL, the amount of energy already available plus the amount of proliferate already available makes this card really, really, really damn good. Too good? I’unno. Recursion, damage, and copying are all dangerous, though. If I were to give this to one of our local Modern players and tell them to do a Custom Oathbreaker challenge, this card would come out on top, almost unquestionably. I’m worried about it being broken. But, hey, when am I not. (except for when they don’t have recursion, damage, and copying on a single card)

I would run this card with Confiscation Coup or Tezzeret’s Gambit.

@nine-effing-hells — Kira-Kira, Sokenzan Hero

I had to double-check with a local judge, but yes indeed, this card does work. I really like that static ability and I think it’s absolutely hilarious. That +1 isn’t the most inspired, but hell if it’s not functional, and it can even ping itself if need be. In limited, that -X is feasible in some builds. But honestly, I think I’m far more disappointed than I have any right to be. Let’s back up here. Limitations are nice. This limitation is somewhat confusing, somewhat frustrating, and there was an easy solution to make it better: “[-X]: Add X {R}. Spend this mana only to cast artifact spells or activate abilities of artifacts.” Or even just equipment! Why specify equip or reconfigure? I want to be able to use that mana to return Batterskull, dammit.

In all seriousness, that last ability really is the roadblock to me liking this card a lot more, although small-nitpicky feels makes me point out that this could have and should have been rare all things considered. Moving on, though. The goblin planeswalker with a big buff and some fun stuff is so close to making me gleeful but the restrictions are an affront to my delicate sensibilities and I’ll get run over elsewhere. What on earth am I talking about. ... Re-backing up, though, it’s a fun equipment-based card that’s good in its two-color shell, fun to build with, and overall pretty good.

I would run this card with Rebel Salvo or Reckless Crew

@piccadilly-blue — Hyperion, the Fortress

There’s a lot of white control cards that could make this card quite annoying, at least in the way that I enjoy playing; what can I say, I’m a Heliod Stax kind of guy (sorry). A limited planeswalker that basically adds seven extra to your life total on top of whatever else you’ve played this game is quite a lot, and I worry about this card stonewalling players. After all, these things are made to be drafted. 3WWW might’ve been a good limit, though I will say the three white pips was a good idea. I’m a little frustrated by the addition of the defender counter on that -2 ability. I don’t necessarily want to give my own stuff defender, and I don’t want to give my opponent’s cards first strike. It’s not removal or removable, and that could use a little editing IMO.

With the -X, I don’t hate it, but it’s a hell of a repeatable payoff. It’s odd, to me, that the +1 and a -1 would do...the exact same thing? Actually, wow, yeah, that is kind of silly. Maybe a little variance could have been a better option. Still, I understand that this week was a weird one, so I won’t hold that against you too much. Name’s a bit on the nose, but I don’t want to go down a Wikipedia rabbit hole of etymology so I am gonna leave that one for now, thank you. (The first part, I mean, “Hyperion,” not “fortress.” Although now I’m curious...”

I think I’d play this card with something fun like Gift of Estates or Approach of the Second Sun.

@railway-covidae — Tunnac, Corrupter of the Way

“Alright, and I’m going to -11 my Tunnac!” “In response, Silence.” ... That’s a bit harsh, but that’s also more risky than I’d ever go for. It’s an “if you don’t win the game, you immediately lose” effect, and based on the board state, you’re going to have a rough time dealing with everything coming your way there. What’re you gonna do, have a Gideon of the Trials emblem? Maybe. This card’s an odd duck. Certainly needs to be mythic. I like the imagination on display, though, and Mardu Spellslinging is one crazy idea. The damage is a little restrictive, or at least what the +2 is asking for, but the power of the -2 (which really should be a -3, ngl) is a nice touch.

The +2, though, falls into the same trap it always has. You can’t have deathtouch and “trample” on the same card without causing a plethora of hard-to-grok explanations that aren’t simple and aren’t feasible. The interaction between those two kinds of mechanics is a result of rules intersections, and as far as I can tell, not intended to specifically go together. I feel that every few contests, this kind of thing comes up. Instead of getting too peeved, though, I want to reiterate this: you’re designing for players who may or may not have the resources, knowledge, wherewithal, and enfranchisement that we have. That’s where the skills come in. Also, I’m just realizing, the +2 is worded oddly because it needs to specify that the spell has to deal damage to a permanent in order to have that interaction. Otherwise, like, it’s just dangling there.

I would run this card with Rousing Refrain or Worldfire.

@reaperfromtheabyss — Davriel Kane, Dread Signator

Playing politics makes for some odd choices. That card advantage for yourself there on the +1 is absolutely insane, and giving opponents cards is also going to kill you. Black group hug is pretty dangerous, but not the most dangerous it could be. If they have hexproof/protection, then, well, you’re effed, but that’s just what happens. The fact that the -2 has to have a target for the counters but not the debuff is also, for the record, a little weird. With the -6 as well, I have to wonder: what exactly is keeping those demons at bay? What happens when you copy or populate one of the tokens? If you populate a Demon token created this way, which one is the one that can attack you and which can’t? If you blink Davriel, because he’s the object that created the tokens and he’s a new object now, would those original tokens be able to attack you because they weren’t created with the original -6 ability?

My point is that the wording is wrong. If it gave the demons an ability that, like, they can’t attack players who control a Davriel planeswalker, maybe that would work, or if you got an emblem with “Demons can’t attack you” or something. There are options! This whole card feels a bit like a duct-tape blazer, though. It’s quirky and shiny on the outside, but I can’t run it through the washing machine and I certainly wouldn’t wear it with my good pants. Is it conceptually fun? Absolutely. The intent makes me grin. The smoothness could be smoothed smoother.

I think I’d enjoy playing this card, again, with Cruel Entertainment or Dark Deal.

@sparkyyoungupstart — Sayfa, Simic Undergrad

Alright. Let’s go through each of these parts and talk about what we’d need to fix.

NAME: What is this trying to convey? Does the Simic Combine have a specific school like Quandrix? I don’t feel the experimental qualities of the powerful faction here, or the power of the planeswalker you’re intending to convey.

STATIC: This is asking to be a replacement ability (“If you would...”) but doesn’t offer an “instead” there, which is implied and left unstated. If it’s a replacement, you need to say what it replaces. I wouldn’t have put this on, honestly, because the ability to repeat untap effects is a ticket to very easily breaking several combos.

+1: Having an uptick ability that doesn’t force a target is good. Having an ability that doesn’t do anything a chunk of the time unless you specifically have a creature with a +1/+1 counter is a little frustrating. Yes, you can build around it, and yes, it’ll function, but why not just untap a creature in general? Also, the fact that this card doesn’t have any ways to put counters on your own creatures feels like a missed opportunity.

-2: “Each creature you control with a +1/+1 counter on it gains your choice of flying or trample until end of turn.” Easy wording edit, that’s fine.

-7: So again, with no way to put +1/+1 counters on your creatures naturally, why would you save up four turns for a creature that may not be anything but a 1/1 that can’t protect itself? The legendary clause is a little odd, too; not that “Squidgeon” isn’t admittedly hilarious, but considering that it’s perhaps a species, I don’t see why it needs to be legendary at all. It’s not exactly Marit Lage.

Overall, I feel that this card needed a significant overhaul with an understanding of what makes planeswalker designs function and how the wording on spells and abilities would impact their designs.

I would play this card with Quandrix Command or perhaps just Cultivate/Kodama’s.

@squeezyboi — Janoc, Tin Street Tinker

Yesss, appropriately rare walkers. So! You’re evil and I love you. We’re also in a place where you need to think about New Objects and the Zones of Stuff. What you’re intending to do, as far as I can tell, is have a SUPER quirky build-around sexy exile slingy deck that’s got a lot on its plate. The problem is that whenever Janoc becomes a new object, the +2 won’t see the first card that got exiled from its ETB and the -4 can’t see it either. How should we fix this? Karn, Scion of Urza is the answer.

If you exile cards with a certain type of counter on them, they can’t be manipulated by proliferation or Thrull Parasite effects, and then other later Janocs can get ‘em back. Tinker counters! Do you see what I’m saying with that? Then, the only problems become the fact that (a) the -4 is...weird because hands aren’t public information? What do you do if you have a land card in your hand? Why not make it so that you have to exile a nonland card as the may and then WHEN you do that you get to do something with a different name? and then (b) Janoc becomes free Eldrazi tribal that gives you cast triggers. You and I both know that that’s how that stuff goes. Is that the intent? No. Is that how it’s gonna be? Look, I see “free” and my brain goes “Fre’mrakul or maybe Freezilek.” In limited? Eff yeah this card would kick ASS.

But, as it goes, I’m playing this baby with Savor the Moment or Thoughtcast in a workshop-storm build.

@thaneofstuff — Seynir, Abzan Exile

Right, time for a lesson about the planeswalker card type. Planeswalkers can still be attacked, and their loyalty counters will be removed, and then they’re put into the graveyard and “die” as a result of state-based actions. So if you were to give Seynir the ability indestructible, it would read the exact same way. Does that make sense? Alright, moving on. I like the gist of this card’s mood. I would make it a rare, even with indestructible, but with the Abzan being what they are, this card’s still pretty cool. The name has some history behind it, which I enjoy.

The +1 should, in my opinion, read in the second part “You gain 2 life and mill a card for each creature sacrificed this way.” It flows a little better. The -4 is really fun, though, and can get off an awesome ult. It’s a shame that the indestructible doesn’t protect itself, as mentioned above, but then you can have other token-makers to ensure that it’ll be solidly beefed by the time you get the -4 off. All in all, I actually like this card more than I thought I initially would, because it feels substantially Abzan and I can feel myself building with it! Tokens are definitely a fun place to be.

I would like to build this Oathbreaker deck wiiiiith... Let’s say Harsh Sustenance or—OH! Eerie Ultimatum!

@wolkemesser — Baltrice, Consortium Arsonist (JUDGE PICK)

Gotta say: love the name. Also gotta say: this card’s one of those where it’s self-explanatory and self-reflective and kind of obvious but at the same time, really, really good. The only worry is the power level, actually, plus that last ability’s redundancy. Lemme go over my concern first: the bodily advantage. When you get this planeswalker out, you’re getting a free two pings plus two attacking bodies, which is essentially four damage if you’re out on an empty board. Depending on your token-makers, you’ll then be taking out any blockers and then ping-ping-pinging in your opponents’ planeswalkers without anything stopping them. That’s...a lot. The -3 ability isn’t supremely new, either. What’s the point of one big blocker if the first two abilities are all about having hasty go-wides? I feel that that could have been more advantageous as a draw or looting thing.

Number two, actually, is the casting cost itself. This is a cheap walker that does a LOT of talking. She’s not gonna be hard to recast and she’s not gonna be easy to kill. Really, this thing’s just a little too aggro. What do we do? Easy: make her at least four mana, and maybe make the +1 a single token, and perhaps if you’re being cheeky? You can have the token ETB either deal damage or make loyalty for her and have the +1 become a 0 instead. I dunno, I’m just brainstorming here. This card’s fun and central and would be annoying in limited and worth going red for! Still, whaddaya gonna do: it’s just a touch too fast.

I would definitely build this deck with Indulge//Excess or Rally the Horde.

@yd12k — Nifah, Fellow Traveller

Not gonna lie, misspelling “Traveler” in the name isn’t a strong start, but I’ve misspelled more words incorrectly than correctly in my life, and it reflects absolutely nothing on your person. What does reflect is the curiosity and utter bravery of the angle you’ve chosen for your card. The +2 and -3 abilities are perfectly functional for a planeswalker that, well, exists; the rest of the card is based around the concept of a draftable Planechase format whereupon, for this contest, people will then be playing Planechase Oathbreaker with their playgroups.

I don’t know if that’s a misread of the prompt or an delving into secrets to which I will never be privy, but I genuinely did not expect this kind of card. And having played Planechase once or thrice in my life, I can say with confidence that this card is probably going to be fine. That’s...about all I can say for it. This was sort of an Oathbreaker-adjacent contest and for that this card cannot be properly judged. Really, that’s the unfortunate truth of it. Planechase wasn’t meant to be drafted, nor was Oathbreaker meant to be Planechase’d. F*** it. In this amazing universe, this card you’ve designed is by all standards Pretty Darn Good(™). I wish I could give you more with that.

As for cards I’d play with Nifah, I’m at a loss. Let’s just go with Growth Spiral and Minds Aglow for now.

That’s that. See y’all in a while! @abelzumi

#mtg #magic the gathering #custom magic card #oathbreaker contest #commentary #inventor's fair

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