#but right now i hate my flat | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dummerjan · 1 year

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having a bit of a very unexpected emotional crisis

#ignore me just rambling #i will not cry about this #but right now i hate my flat #and i hate how my new kitchen shelf has turned out #it's ugly #not what i had in mind #and i don't like my kitchen in general #but i shouldn't hate my living/craft room because it's nowhere near done yet #i do like my bedroom but that's also the only one with all antique furniture and what i had in mind #even if it is really messy and chaotic still and it might be impossible to actually put up curtains #because the wall just crumbles #bathroom is ok got a new cupboard for it #but i also spend the least amount of time in there and i already love it for being able to fit a washing machine #and no longer having to go into the basement to do laundry #argh i will get over this tomorrow it will all look different #rn now i am just having another emotional crisis about something else and the kitchen sheld not turning out how i #wanted it is just the last straw #but fuck do i hate it here rn #meins

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uncanny-tranny · 3 months

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Passing as a trans man is a nuanced and complex topic, but one thing I have been noticing as somebody who is a cis-passing (white) trans man is the way I'm treated when there is conflict.

I've noticed that in conflict, people are almost meek around me, willing for me to try working with them up until a woman is involved. When a woman (or, really, anybody who the other party assumes is one) is part of the conflict, they direct all their anger and rage to them. It's fucking insane the way a woman is treated when there is conflict, even if it isn't her fucking fault. These people are fundamental cowards for seeing my manhood as the only reason they can't be openly hostile to me, but it reveals a lot about how a misogynist thinks on an almost primal level.

I'm watching the women and people around me I care about being torn apart by people, and that's unacceptable. I can't sit around to watch it, and I don't want to do that. I need other people to perhaps read this and remember to not stand by if there is something that you can tangibly do to help, even if it's to lend a listening ear or let the person vent.

#feminism #misogyny #misogyny tw #before writing this i was worried about my blood pressure because i'm fucking angry #i hate the way cowards will look at me and see a man and be scared of me until they see a woman they feel strong enough to abuse #and i have faced my own experiences with misogyny and abuse now that i have transitioned and am recognized as male...#...like i had NEVER been catcalled until i medically transitioned. and now that i'm much more male i have been catcalled MULTIPLE times...#...which is why this topic is nuanced and complex and i hate this idea that we can bulldoze it down flat to 'make it make sense'#i want to always believe in people but i'm not a fool. i am not willing to stand around and just pretend like this shit doesn't happen #i WATCH this shit happen. i WITNESS it and HEAR it and i try to find some way to help the woman and/or person in question #and i know there's this aspect of white privilege in this where my white manhood is seen as a lesser threat #i can absolutely imaging a Black or otherwise MoC trans person not being given this level of grace from the get-go #i'm angry right now and i hope that my words are making sense. i want to address as much as possible but i'm sure you understand

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victormare · 1 month

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cutting your own hair could never go wrong 😈✂️

#my art #videl #videl satan #dbz #dbs #dragon ball z #dragon ball super #i'm not a fan of drawing such clean cut hair. videl. its time to go Bald.#i hate hair highlights now i can never make them look right GRRR #lost momementum after putting the flat colors and everyone can tell... this is my stupid baka life...

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sherlock-is-ace · 5 months

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#not to be depressing in new year's eve but i feel so shit right now...#all year i've been so out of myself not enjoying anything #and what i do manage to enjoy takes up like an hour of my life and then it becomes disappointing #that's how i would describe the past few months... disappointing #everything feels flat #I can't manage to hold on to a good feeling for more than an hour or two #i have absolutely no hope for the future and I don't even care about that anymore #nothing feels worth anything anymore #and what's really solidifying that feeling today of all days #is the fact that every year since before I was born my family celebrates new years eve #a few years ago the celebrations changed since my extended family decided to cut us out a bit but my mom brother and i still celebrate #we get yummy food play fun games and just spend the night together until midnight when we toast and go to bed #well this year it's 10:30 and we're already in bed doing the same things we do every day #being on our phones or watching a movie or whatever on our own #and it's just disappointing again #idk if it's the break of the tradition or the fact that the new year doesn't feel important this time #but i feel so fucking sad and numb and depressed #i hate it #I don't even feel like saying the usual ''hope 2024 is better'' shit #i just don't care and i don't think it's gonna be better... it's gonna be the same old shit and it's gonna be disappointing #nothing matters anymore and i don't think anyone fucking cares #i feel so numb...#i don't even know what the point of this post is... sorry about that #hope y'all's new years eve is better than mine (or new year's day idk your time zones)#angel talks #personal

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widevibratobitch · 1 day

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#logging in just to complain about my fucked up mental issues and logging right off again lol #i thought yesterday i was really feeling good but turns out i was just totally dissociated like i genuinely was completely out of it lol #its kinda creepy. like zero thoughts head empty but not in a good way. i hate when this happens cause i dont really know what to think of it #anyway. guess who's suicidal again lol&lmao #only now i feel like an idiot because ive been feeling like this for what like. 10 years now? and i still havent done it #which just makes me look like a bitch. i should either commit or just shut up about it.#unironically one of the most important things stopping me from doing it is the fact that my flat's in a constant fucking mess.#and id hate for smn to have to tidy all this shit up. that would just be such a mean and inconsiderate thing to do to leave it all like that #anyway.

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pentacass · 2 years

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ves (+ lana) pic spam 22/oh no

#they're so happy just to be reunited my heart #swtor #vestra lenshe #lana beniko #yzstuff #yzswtor #vesface #this is my second fave lana kiss next to the post-ziost one #well-aligned kiss + cozy little casual embrace #BUT the way fem!SI croons 'i hate it when work keeps us apart' fuckin Elevates it #xanthe elbrick's performance is stellar and i love it #she always sounds like she's having fun and is putting that into her character too and i enjoy it so much whenever she speaks #xanthe is like. 80% of the reason why i cherish ves so much as an oc. the voice just really makes it.#she nails the pitches of different emotions n adds nuance to her tone. it's so varied that every other voice falls flat for me tbh #except for the fem!smuggler. now that's another VA having the time of her life. naryu my beloved <3 #hello if u've read this far and are thinking wow this bich has a thing for voices YES U RIGHT SHUDDUP #i can pick out VAs in different games real quick it's a useless talent of mine

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theghostofashton · 9 months

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not to overreact on main but.......why do white people go to actual effort to engage in microaggression like i am genuinely so.

#this man is just flat out calling me by my last name no title in front of it nothing #he did it in his first email and that was whatever he may not have known but when i replied i signed off w my first name #he used it once #and now we're back to just addressing me by my last name and like......idk i hate it #it is genuinely easier to use my first name to use the name i signed off with why are you not #and this is why posts about how we need to be kinder bc white people are 'trying' regarding our names just bother me bc it's like #it is so often laziness #so often people not giving a shit and not bothering to check #i can tell when it's laziness and i can tell when someone's genuinely trying #i would never get on someone for genuinely trying #but if you demonstrate being able to address me correctly and then.....stop doing that #what am i supposed to think lol #this happens so often i'm just tired. why am i supposed to suck it up when you can't get my damn 4 letter name right #delete later #sorry. it's been a Week lol

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volivolition · 2 months

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friend i think ur propaganda is working let's fuckin go -Vol

THANK YOU VOL IM TRYING SO HARD!! :'0!! WE WERE LEADING FOR A BIT AND NOW WE'RE BACK DOWN AGAIN AND IM SO!! DISTRAUGHT!!!

VOTE VOLITION GET HIM BACK UP THERE PLEASE!!!

#i really dont know how much more my propaganda can help from here. like. my old account could have done something?#but this account is new and i have very little means to sway the vote lmao <3 i will keep making art but like. to no avail likely?#made the saddest little sound when i saw it dip back into 49%. HEARTBROKEN. win little guy win!! you can do it!!!#if they tie thats fine i also like inland. BUT. I STILL WANT VOLI TO HAVE A SECURE SPOT. ITS SO UNCERTAIN RIGHT NOW.#i have more propaganda but urgh. guy who hates lineart and flat colors!! GUY WHO HATES LINEART AND FLAT COLORS!!!!!!!#puts him in a dress. leaves him like that. like lmao. urhg i'll try again after eating something i guess :P #im giving you soup and dumplings. by the way :']#volta transmissions

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gunkbaby · 2 months

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never showed u guys my guinea pigs (had to give the ferrets back - in tags)

this is jarvis

#i have 3 of them will show the others l8r #So abt the ferrets #i was told they had: 1) no history of abuse 2) no behavioural issues 3) had only been rehomed twice #All of this was not true #idk how to explain how bad it got.#i was prepared for the ferrets bein difficult right #Like i expected 2 toddlerz #but they had issues 4 sure #We found out that they have been rehomed 7 times already #they’re at a special behavioural ferret place now #it rly devastated me #I hate rehoming/giving animals back #thatswhy i ended up in hospital after they were gone i decided to overdose #i am a failure. I failed them #so i was like ‘fuck it’#and i did it #it was dumb huh #the ferrets weren’t evil #i dont hate them #But i was scared of them #It got to a point where i locked myself in the bathroom 24/7 bc they had my flat to themselves #I couldn’t leave the room to play with them or sit and do my work bc they would always bite me #For no reason #like i thought they were scared or upset or bored and i did everything to try and help that #but they would bite and drag into my skin #i was bleeding constantly and one of them kept going for like arteries #i knew they bite so at first i was like ‘whatever’ but they got worse #I couldnt interact w them anymore #I loved them a lot #I love ferrets

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claudethecrabdemoness · 4 months

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It’s Time…

It’s a new year, we’re queer, and the show is officially here. So we all know what that means…

… time to start aggressively shipping all our OCs with Vox.

😝

⚡️🔌🖥️💙🦈⚡️

No but really. The TV man really won this round hands down, both tied behind his back. Which means he and Claude will now be the reigning power couple they were always meant to be.

I’m sorry y’all Husker fuckers (me included) but after his voice change I just…. lost all interest in making them endgame. Which is really sad, considering how much I loved Mick’s interpretation of him. Look look- it’s no hate to Keith, because I love the man, he’s a national treasure we all know this, but he really just isn’t… Husk. To me at least. I adjusted for the show, and it’s… fine… but not what grabs me anymore. And I think that’s ok because now I’m much happier giving him back to Angel in this fic. So… I have to decide what I really want to do in terms of what I’ve already thought up, but Vox is now my main man and I was so happy they didn’t fuck him up at least. (Val is a whole nother disaster I don’t have the strength to get into rn…) The Megara in me is elated he’s literally a confirmed Hades archetype and I can’t resist the siren call of a childish douchebag in a suit with a flatscreen for a face. So mote it be.

But anyway! I’m gonna get back into this side blog and just wanted to announce the shift in storyline. It’s not that much different, but she’s not going to be seducing Husk anymore as a main trope. Not that this really matters much- I barely outlined a coherent plot on here lol. I don’t even know who really follows this anyway. More Claude is def on the way tho, especially now that I have much more content to play with. So if you’re still following me, a big ass thank you and pls enjoy the impending chaos!

#if you’re reading any of this bless you #I watched the season and I have Thoughts #I feel like I’m a fan but only in the most continually frustrated sense #Love the world #Love the premise #Love certain characters #Hate the pacing and writing/directing choices and controversies and drama and immaturity and-#it’s a situationship #but I love my girl Claude so so much #and she deserves the world #so here we are #giving her the flat-headed prince she deserves and NOT Val #oh my god do I hate the voice they gave him #which makes me hate the everything else about him so much more!! just!! augh!!!#it’s the biggest tragedy of 2024 #which I’m fine w compared to the tragedies of last year #*shudder*#seems like everyone pretty much went through their own worst hells right? that was all of us? not just me??#anyway #now is the era of claude x vox #Vaude?#Clox?#Clorox? Idk

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riickgrimes · 1 year

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rick and jessie irk me to my very soul

#SO UNNECESSARY #i think they especially bother me #bc going into s5 i was expecting richonne romantic development #and then he suddenly has these feelings for some rando #like ughdhdjjd #the walking dead #update: now that i finished rewatching s5 i take it back #i especially hate them bc they made jessie’s dv all about rick having feelings for her #instead of wanting to help based on principle bc it’s the right thing to do #rick basically only helped her bc he had a crush on her #like tffff #i must have scrubbed their scenes from my memory #bc the whole time i watching i was telling myself that it was the writers’ fault #that with the way they positioned everything it made it seem him helping her was only bc of his feelings for her #but that really i know that rick would help anyone in that situation bc he’s just a good guy #then she asked him out right if he would do this for anyone and he just flat out says no #like 👁️👄👁️#jfc rickkkkk #well im scrubbing all of this from my memory again and saying that rick would have helped her either way bc it’s the right thing to do #💅🏾✨

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halloweenneko · 8 months

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I'm back in my BSD phase so my page is now full of Bungou Stray Dogs contents reblogs, mostly analysis. But randomly you see a post of another fandom on it. XD

It's kinda funny like you scroll down and see multiple analysis on BSD characters and dark theme but then there's a cute fanart of MLB in the middle of it. My interest is all over the place.

#i hate that i'm like this #why did i go back to this fandom?#bsd phase is the worst #i tend to over thinking about deep characterization too much #and goddamnit bsd full of them #please let me go back to my sonic phase-#actually it's equally bad #sonic has too many versions of him and different media forms that i want to see is just equally bad #many be i should get back to my lmk phase... eh season 5 still not come out yet #maybe mlb? season 5 falls flat to me so probably not #maybe bnha? one piece? iruma-kun? khr? haikyuu? knb? naruto?#maybe tcf? ovr? wmmap? s classes? mount hua sect? project sekai? kny?#maybe boboiboy? inazuma eleven? mdzs? tgcf? svsss? re zero? danny phantom? gravity falls?#maybe ninjago? the owl house? genshin? honkai star rail? conan? osomatsu? pokemon?#hell maybe i should get back to danganronpa #the amount of fandoms that i have been in #bsd is having chocked hold right now so i don't think i can leave yet #rambling in the tags sorry #me and my over 50 something fandoms #i have a real problem #send help

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wizardcurse · 11 months

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I WANT TO SLEEP.

#says this while blasting my eyes with screen light #I hate sharing beds with friends. I love you but I’m sorry I’m so tired #friend always falls asleep in ten minutes whilst i lay here trying for 5 hours before i give up and scroll #I always lose the blankets and all the bed space. I’d let them everytime but I’m so uncomfortable right now #pinned flat against the wall desperately waiting for morning #.txt

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widevibratobitch · 4 months

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and now my cat peed on my favourite bag because i have been lying depressed staring at the ceiling for the past week or more and i get her i really do she's right but cant i ever catch a fucking break jfc

#like babygirl?????? believe we're BOTH having the worst fucking time rn #this is breaking my fucking heart i love her sm but i am in no state to take proper care of her right now #she's not going hungry or anything but i only have enough energy to crawl out of bed to give her some food and that's it #and my flat's a mess and it must be a horrible place for her too rn cause im the only company she has and i fucking suck #and i cant even drop her off to my mom's rn even tho i hate doing that and i miss her so badly every time #but it's better for her to be with someone who can give her proper attention and all instead of staying at home with a breathing corpse #but my mom's at the hospital and idk what to do ffs #im the worst person ever and i dont deserve her #i hate it here sm

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dreamcast-official · 9 months

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hm.

#eli.txt #i think the reason i feel so shit over The Whole Deal is like. god. i just miss talking to them.#sometimes it felt like they were the only person who cared about what i had to say. they were the easiest person to talk to in my life.#and like. basically overnight. they were so distant for what i thought was no reason. and they did not care about me anymore.#i know they were justified in acting that way and its not like they suddenly hate me and dont care about me but god.#thats what it feels like. thats what it fucking feels like!!!!#i didnt just lose my boyfriend i lost one of my best friends and it fucking sucks. it feels like no one is going to put up with me anymore.#idk i dont feel nearly as comfortable talking to Anyone anymore. because when am i gonna know i made a mistake.#how am i gonna know i made a mistake and they suddenly think i hate them and it leads to something like this. how am i gonna know.#and like!! it looks To Me like their life got so much better without me being an active part of it. and i feel like i have just gotten worse #AND THEY WONT FUCKING TALK TO ME! I KEEP TRYING TO MAKE CONVERSATION AND THEY DONT TALK TO ME! AND LIKE.#I KNOW I FUCKED UP BUT IM FUCKING TRYING TO MAKE UP FOR IT CAN YOU PLEASE JUST LET ME TRY. TALK TO ME. I MISS YOU.#I LOVE YOU. NOT IN THAT SENSE ANYMORE BUT I STILL CARE FOR YOU. YOURE MY FRIEND. FUCKING TALK TO ME.#I KNOW NO AMOUNT OF SAYING IM SORRY CAN FIX IT BUT IM TRYING TO MAKE UP FOR IT. PLEASE JUST DONT IGNORE ME LIKE THAT.#god i just feel like maybe i meant nothing. maybe theyve just already moved on entirely and i was never anything.#maybe im the only one who still hurts. yknow. i dont think they care about me anymore.#which i could fucking deal with if they just said that instead of flat out ignoring me.#god i just feel like shit. what if i keep fucking up the same way what if i lose everyone the same way and in the end im alone.#i would probably deserve it. if i keep messing up this bad maybe i deserve to be alone.#i know thats not true. but i feel really bad right now. im not thinking.#no one is going to put up with me the way they did. they already dont.#god. im so tired. i wish they would fucking talk to me.

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4arconinoma · 1 year

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mfw having my 5th art style crisis this month adn the month just started

#mfw i want to change how i draw completely 😨😨😨😨😨#i hate my art style so badd rn #i want to render more also i want to stop doing backgrounds because i dont like little flat color backgrounds but the illustration itself #that i do usually isnt cool enough to stand on its own without a background so i #need to do some studies #uh uyeah #i do wantto make actual location backgrounds at some point htough thats just too advanced for me right now #txt

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