#but it feels so good to get stuff done!!
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As an adult who celebrates (heavily secularised) Christmas, including now actually inviting people over for dinner and stuff, I now understand the reason behind going overboard making the house look nice.
It's not about appearances or upholding tradition or anything like that. We're only inviting people who don't really care, and I only care about traditions that make me happy.
HOWEVER
A) It's fun to decorate and do something a lil fancy once in a while!
B) It's a good fucking excuse to actually make yourself clean the house properly, after putting it off all year.
#real life maybe#i moved back in with my housemates in September#and it's been a slow progress of unpacking while also studying#the living room was so full of boxes stuff for a while#esp since we were also doing a BUNCH of house cleaning and getting rid of a load of things#and then we were getting new closets for storage space#and in general it's been like non-stop low-level chaos since summer#now we've FINALLY got almost everything worked out#and like yes. everything not perfect? it's fine. no one cares.#but it feels so good to get stuff done!!#also pls note that one of us has ADHD and apparently just fucking permanent iron deficiency fatigue (me)#another also has ADHD and is super busy. and the last one is autistic and is disabled with chronic pain#so it's frankly amazing when we do make the house look great
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🎶 The Crown…
Pix now wears the Crown… 🎶
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The moment of recognition when that ancient and powerful thing deep in the catacombs… discovers the Crown.
#empires smp#pixlriffs#empires smp fanart#pixlriffs fanart#empires fanart#empires pixlriffs#empiresblr#floweroflaurelin art#mcyt fanart#mcyt#mcytblr#gif#animated#aha! by making that post about not having time to make fanart I tricked you all into not expecting any#thus freeing myself from the pressure of feeling like I have to get fanart done for major story beats#and allowing me to have the motivation to procrastinate my thesis and make stuff for fun instead!#anyway this is the same crown design I did AGES ago but it’s all tarnished now#I’m so excited to have it back the way everyone covets it is so good#I mean THEE historian sees it and instead of preserving it he puts it on his head and comments on how well it fits??#he’s never had any interest in telling people what to do and then declares himself king and threatens those who disobey with ‘punishment’??#everyone who sees it is driven to do anything in their power to get it for themselves?#what does the Crown want. what does it get out of this. it is so very much a cursed object and I love it
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love it when a character that's hard to read intuitively for you has like a dedicated fandom interpreter who can just glance at their blank face in a panel and then give you a 3k word essay on their innermost thoughts & desires & fears and neatly tie it back into the themes & whatnot as if it's the most obvious thing in the world
#im talking about griffith btw#guts i feel i get intuitively - maybe because i have some personality traits in common with him#and we get more about his life concretely told to us in canon. so he is a bit easier to pin down as a character and feel attached to for me#but whenever i was reading the manga i just kept wanting more insight about griffith's actions and feelings#like ok yeah its fun to have mysterious antagonists and suspense /tension etc but its also fun to feel like you deeply understand them too#and i felt like that was a bit missing from him for me in canon#so reading about him in analysis and fics is the most fun for me rn#he always felt kinda half unreal to me- which maybe was the point of him - but i wanted a bit more about his childhood or something?#and wished we had more stuff explicitly from his pov in the story to read or explanation about his transformation or wtv#and now he's so much more closed off to me even than he was in the golden age. i keep waiting for him to explain stuff and he does not#ANYWAYS all this rambling to say some people out there are very good at interpreting him and making his like. insecurities#more obvious to me bc i didnt really get that side of him from canon intuitively well#also im really enjoying reading the first few berserk fics ive read#there may not be a ton of them out there but there is def writing talent in the fandom#i'll share some recs once i'm done sifting through most of what's out there to read#also (not to tie everything back to death note but it IS my home fandom after all)#i feel griffith is obvs the more light-like character here and L maybe a bit guts-like? but unlike berserk in death note#light is the one you get to know best and L is the mysterious / unreal one you don't get a lot of concrete insight into#and in the DN fandom I can read the more mysterious character intuitively but had to warm up to the less mysterious one instead#and the mystery of L makes sense to me and doesnt bug me as much due to like - he HAS to hide a lot about himself or else he will die lol#so some similarities there but also some opposite feels as well#berserk spoilers#p
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19.12.23, tuesday
0.5h of coding lol
wasn’t having the best day so decided to finally watch the barbie-movie (it’s on hbo rn) bc figured that could cheer me up
but bc the universe loves a good timing, on the grocery store trip after, some dudes came to me like ”which one of us would u fuck?” and that annoyed me way more than it should’ve. Like cmon, it’s 10pm at a grocery store; if you’re not cottage cheese or olive oil get tf out of my face
just a short evening walk bc it was windy and I was annoyed
#also the barbie-movie; it was fine#not my favorite but I didn’t think it’d be bc I don’t rly usually go for that genre#also at this point the hype had got to me so my expectations were very unfair#the set tho; it looked so good#I love how I planned that I’d be a machine now this week so could actually not stress during christmas but it’s looking out to be like one#of the most unproductive days I’ve had all autumn lol#i’m thinking if I should just call it and start the holidays now and just idk catch up on some of the days in between christmas & new years#and I do have 8 days after new years before other courses start#but idk if I do thay I might not rly be able to chill during christmas#like rn I’m thinking if I should bring my laptop with me just in case I could squeeze a couple hours here & there during the few days#which is not the thing to do obviously; like it’s 5 days I can be apart from my laptop for 5 days#but it feels like with the amount of stuff I’ve gotten done I rly couldn’t afford a 5 day break rn#idk I’ll figure it out I won’t bring a laptop just to haunt me#(I’m bad at fully relaxing; there’s always the ’’u could be doing something productive tho’’-voice)#(which I don’t listen but then I just get nothing done and also never rly relax which is good super good)#(can u tell im still annoyed at everything rn lol sorry for the tag rant)#december 2023#2023#today
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Moodboard for when you have to do your assignment that you know you will enjoy doing but can't get yourself to do it anyway and it's living hell because you have to do it AND want to do it but you just CAN'T
#i know its not hard and i can do it and its fun#its FUN#i need to remind myself how much fun it is to actually make my own comic!!!!!!#anyway i managed to get sth done actually so i think im good now#still feeling like this tho#going to do it scared and bored#my stuff
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turt
#raveartts#wings of fire#wof#turtle wof#dragon art#kinda art blocked lately but at least dragons are easy enough to draw#i'd love to draw some warrior cats stuff too but like...cats hard#oh well at least i'm drawing SOMETHING#i promised myself i'd do proper art fundamentals practice this year#but so far it's been absolutely pathetic#i'm barely even drawing in the past month#though i shouldn't be hard on myself about it i suppose#i've been stressed and busy and mentally unwell and dying#and i don't HAVE to draw....i just feel obligated to because it's all i'm good at and don't have other reliable hobbies i enjoy#perhaps once school is finished i can draw more#though by then i might be having to move out and work full time and i think i'll just die when that happens#so i'll just never get better at art i guess and i'll just pretend i'm totallyyyyy okay with being subpar forever and ever#lack of perfection DEFINITELY doesn't bother me :))))) not one bit#anyways i have to go to work soon....#at least my chores are done. perhaps i'll promise myself i'll do some gestures tonight since i'm not busy
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Only Friends hierarchy of needs
(and then they need to end up together in the most mutually unhinged and codependent relationship possible a la HIStory 1: Obsessed)
#I think I like Nick so much that his delusions have started rubbing off on me fr#like I fully believe that Boston really was on the verge of falling in love with Nick in a truly possessive and unhinged way#and I too hope that BostonNick is endgame#and probably the worst of Nick's delusions that I've picked up is that Boston isn't awful and maybe his hotness really does cancel out#the fact that he's done some really problematic shit#most people have seen the HIStory series right? I feel like I was like the last one to watch them#remember history 1 obsession?? that was some good and also really insane stuff#that's the vibes that I want for BostonNick#like damn those two are so lucky that the other one is into that particular brand of crazy because if not holy shit#like Jiang Jing Teng pretending that he has memory loss to get close to Shao Yi Chen and then saying#that if he couldn't be with SYC then he would have killed him#and SYC was so into it because he felt the same way like wow these two are perfect for e/o and really shouldn't be with anyone else#b/c they're crazy fr#anyway#only friends the series#ofts
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boy in silly sitting positions compilation
#cats#I especially like the last one where he just has one single paw poking out of that box for some reason lol#I still have costumes to post and like a billion other things.... grr... constantly failing at staying active on social media aughh#I think because currently my Main Focus is on trying to get my game done and stuff.. which basically just means sitting and writing all day#so there's not much to post about. Though I know the Good At Social Media thing to do would be to post about the#writing and share progress and talk about the game and characters or whatever to try to build interest or something but that is SOOO weird#to me.. I could maybe get it if it was like a tiny tiny discord groupchat of playtesters with like 5 people in#it.. But something about talking openly about things before they happen is weird to me?? Like presumptuous feeling or something#''oooo guess whats gonna happen LATER!!!'' like.. how do you know.. what if it doesnt. what if you dont finish it. what if its not the way#you think it's going to be. what if something changes. etc. Like I literally avoid movie trailers and game trailers for the same reason ghj#Even if it's not ME doing it it just feels... weird.. Maybe it has to do with my OCD and how I just don't like talking about ''future''#things in Certain Terms. Like if I was going to say ''Oh yeah sure. come over to my house in a few months''. I would have to follow it up#with like ''HOPEFULLY you can come over to my house in a few months'' or 'They'll come over in a few months MOST LIKELY''. Because just#stating that something will happen matter of factly takes for granted like.. what if somehting horrible happens and I DONT have a house#in a few months? or what if something bad happens to me. or to the person coming over? I can't ever DEFINITELY say with 100% certainty#that one could ACTUALLY come to my house in a few months. anything could change. So I have to allot for that in my phrasing. hbjjkn#There are a lot of situations where you're expected to just Assume Things but for some reason that bothers me. My brain literally does not#even Assume the most basic things.. like how do *I* know that just because it's someones birthday that they want to be wished a happy#birthday? what if they dont? everyone is different and has different preferences. I should check with them first. or wait until they public#ly announce that theyre accepting birthday wishes. I have to allot for all 5034859069 rare possibilities at any given time and never take#anything for certain. etc. ghjbjhbh.... ANYWAY.. I have been feeling a bit sick lately as usual.. but still slowly making progress on some#things. Moslty I need to edit costume photos. make sculptures. and work on the game. Going back reading some of the old writing from like#2018 and suprisingly I don't have to change that much of it? In fact I like it mostly. so that's good. I would be very interested if I were#playing the game myself. Though that doesnt mean much since my tastes are so niche lol..#Still really want to clear some of my million tumblr drafts as well... alas and aughh and ooughh and so on and so forth. Between all of my#evil appointments other such things...why cant I have one billion dollar to retire into relaxed hermit artist life of no stressors.. bleas
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i like it when ppl draw this freak with pants like that. woe. ms paint gwam be upon ye. mole if u see this, this is dedicated to u
#immmmmmm#so stuck between#my art fight stuff#and my mental health being ass#(im kinda hiding from tumblr atm oops but i still wanna post this)#so doodling smthn NOT art fight feels AAAHHH SO GOOD#theres drawings i could post in theory but getting a pic of it thats good is a nightmare. cant do it now its like alost 10 pm here.#even worse light conditions. oops...!#i keep fearing im loosing toontown as a fixation but its LITERALLY on my mind 24/7. im just playing the game a bit less.#finding motivation once youre in the postgame and done with all the bosses (except pace and chip) (and prester but his ass dont count) is a#BIT HARD. but then again my motivation been low as of late.#ANYWAYS.#gramanesspaysor. enjoy.#pacesetter#doodles#ms paint#toontown corporate clash#i dont think ill draw him like this much btw. i prefer like. staying more 'on model' with my prev art of him. this was just for funsies..#like any art should be tbh..... hee hee#i hope my brain will fix itself a bit after art fight. i may upload these last pieces and stop caring about it too bc HOO#i mean i do have one thing thatll take forever to do still but#wauurghhhhhhhhh#i wanna draw more cool cogs but art fight almost done#guz art
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still thinkin bout it
#pokemon#swsh#champion leon#assistant sonia#gym leader raihan#three parts of a whole idiot#hi. Im figurin out how to lay stuff down Really quickly#again! I used to know how to do it. in another software using another hardware in another lifetime#it does feel like 70% of my arting time is rediscovering old skills again and again. which is? fine? I think#the goal is the same. but the result is always somehow very different#and that's great. that's the joy of it#it does come to it tho that this way of doing things usually doesnt leave room for grayscaling in one go... I wanna figure out how to#keep grayscaling stuff. I dont like leaving stuff just like this#more work for later! we'll figure it out#I genuinely love drawing these guys as kids they're so prime for that#early disney channel layering kinda fashion... I enjoy drawing that#mmm. Im busy with a thing tonite. but I wanna get that done as a whole unit soon#just feelin things out rn! road's long.#have a good night guys. wear colors!
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red white and royal blue was so cheesy and predictable I enjoyed it thoroughly. making banal queer romantic comedies is hard but necessary work
#sooner or later we'll start getting them with lesbians too *shakes fist in determination* imagine#nor's rambles#ALTHOUGH it would be refreshing to get a film that does not hit all these romantic comedy beats#or that would be a romantic comedy but actually good. like palm springs but gay. the big sick but gay#WHEN HARRY MET SALLY BUT GAY although that really hits the beats ahgvadhbfds#also personally i like queer stories that don't give much attention to labels and such. i think those are really important too#it's one of the reasons i'm not the biggest fan of hearstop*per (censoring so it doesn't go into the tag to ruin people's fun)#because i feel like it's just taking all the letters from the LGBTQIA and assigning each character with a letter#which is not wrong in any way and once again i am older than the intended audience it's not For Me#but i am often left craving something sort of... less defining. more free. more just being what you are and doing what you do#kind of like.. something done for the sake of the story and the art instead of just representation for the sake of representation???#that is important too!! but kinda craving stuff for us who don't really like labels as well???
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The love of the Wanderer is to wanderers.
#em draws stuff#travel light#this image has been about a year in the making (I wanted to draw it when I first read it but I only got to it now)#my thoughts on travel light are. well they are this image primarily.#been a while and a while since I drew in this style and it feels GOOD to be doing it again!!#wish I'd figured out a way to fit steinvor into the composition but it was a hard squish even to include tarkan der (and he's very tiny)#the way I've done the mountains are purposefully referencing one of the earlier covers of the hobbit as I love jirt's painting style#and it seemed apt for various things about the way travel light exists and the kinds of things it has to say#it is right on the edge of where legend meets life when it comes to depicting early medieval europe and it's. well. read it actually.#book that makes you want to listen to 'to holmgard and beyond' by turisas except exactly backwards#(in the varangian way they are going the other direction and also they are much more (to put it as halla would) dragonish about it)#song I first heard in the context of an absolutely wild 8tracks playlist in 2015 which changed my music taste forever. anyway.#really I must read more naomi mitchison except that no library in the entire state of california appears to have a copy of the big house :/#anyway anyway. if I ever get my own copy of this book I Will be rebinding it to have this for a cover I like it so very much
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#mine#doctor who#dwedit#peter capaldi#pearl mackie#i say this every time i gif this scene but i love it so much#also update on my recovery: everything feels pretty much back to normal now!!!#i have to go back to work on monday#and i have like a week or so to get all the report card stuff done so that's great.....#oh well one more day off tomorrow though#ok good night friends
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it's just not going to work it feels bad but it has to happen but breakups that happen when nothing in particular has gone wrong and it's just an issue of like...paths in life/compatibility etc etc, where otherwise you actually rly do love the person, are so hard !! like i care for u i still want to be ur friend it just wont work in a romantic way !!
#its 1yr+ relationship too i care abt her so much#we just both deserve to feel fulfilled and i dont currently feel that way its not rly her fault i think we were just meant 2 be friends#and not lovers but somehow that makes it worse ?? like im glad im not on bad terms w her ofc i love her a lot#but it makes it harder to get over yk#....i hope we can still be friends idk idk !!#she has been my best friend for a while#breakup happening in 1 week from now. i keep delaying this decision but it rly rly has to be done#we r just...fundementally missmatched and we both need to be w ppl who we can grow with#i think we could grow together if we were just friends but aughh its sl ahrd ik being friends after a breakup rarely ever works out#my friends say its like a 50/50 chance if u break up on good terms#anyway being the person doint the breaking up is hard !!!#also i have been doing kind of super badly recently and i think i need some time to figure stuff out w my own mental health too
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oomf was talking about this combi and I remembered the season 25 episode where they interact for like 30 seconds. and then i got progressively more invested
#quirinahdraws#WHATEVERRRR *exploding*#nintama#nintama rantarou#忍たま乱太郎#rkrn#nanamatsu koheita#tachibana senzou#i don’t know if i actually do ship them romantically but it’s a very fun idea to think about#Listen Listen Listen. Can anyone hear me. i just think koheita is way smarter than he looks (crazy person)#BUT REALLY. he’s quite knowledgeable and he’s very sincere and good and reading people but he’s also super intuitive#and makes most of his decisions on the spot based on how he reads a situation and how he feels so he’s difficult to keep up with#it would just be fun to see senzou whos also really smart! but likes being in control and looking unflappable and perfect#falling for a guy who he can’t read but who’s super sincere and encouraging nevertheless… (forlorn)#HE SAW THROUGH SABUROU’S DISGUISE OF SENZOU IN THE 5TH YEARS VS 6TH YEARS ARC CAN ANYONE HEAR MEEEEE (is dragged offstage)#こへ仙#kohesen#but i think they would be a fun duo nevertheless! I can’t write dialogue but i saw someone way long ago talking about how it would be fun t#see senzou as the planner/espionage kind of strategist and koheita as the guy who gets in and gets stuff done…#OR PLANNING TOGETHER I can’t write dialogue but I like to think about koheita already having assessed the circumstance and just#cooking up a plan on the fly…#I do think senzou is kind of like monjirou where he’s a little bit of a softie at heart but he isn’t around koheita all the time like monji#so it might be fun to see him more flustered/being unable to read kohe….i want to see them get along too…. (crazy person)#digital
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I love the rhyming on ttpd. can only think of two examples currently but I know there’s more.
#the dancing phantoms on the terrace do they get second hand embarrassed#is e v e r y t h I n g#but also I can’t stop thinking about:#you. look. like. taylor swift. in this light—we’re lovin’ it#like just the flow. the cadence. not even just the rhyme but#her ease with language and playfulness with it and all the little pockets and corners of so many songs#even ones you think you don’t like. settle in with time!#like the thing about taylor is that she is VERY much a poet#in that some of her genius/way with words is innate#and the images and stuff she uses the turns of phrase can feel so garish and embarrassing on first listen#they JAR#but honestly I think it’s because she is truly …. new? she is doing something NEW#and the shock and outrage that always goes with new things is always present with a Taylor album#and I think she’s drawing on so much from the past to write but she is so deeply rooted in the present cultural moment#so it’s so easy to dismiss her writing on first glance as like. idk a college girl’s idea of poetry#as being too Stark or Melodramatic.#she loves OBVIOUS imagery and extremely dramatic ones too#but she isn’t actually just throwing stuff at the wall#because pretty much always. it starts to land and soften and settle#and the image she’s chosen has done its job of drawing you into a world#and/or communicating an emotion#and sometimes it’s so upsetting. like. get me out of the bedroom with Matty Healy taylor!!!!!!!!!! but. the art is art-ing!#I guess is what I’m saying. she’s good at this it isn’t just hype#but some of it really is that she’s taking us places we might not want to go or are so quick to pass judgment on#as being unworthy of a song or more importantly a poem. but present art HAS to do that#and does do it!!!!!! idk I am just. musing
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