I'M GETTING MY NIPPLES PIERCED THIS FRIDAY

790.

Have your parents ever tried to control your relationship? >> ---

Have you ever had to give someone directions before? >> Yeah, I gave them a lot when I lived in New York.

Speaking of which, are you good at understanding driving directions? >> I don’t drive, so it’s irrelevant. Also, if I need directions somewhere these days I just use Google Maps. (I don’t always use the GPS itself because I enjoy figuring it out on my own as if the app were a paper map.)

How many people do you text daily? >> One at most, but usually zero.

Do you have an iPod or an MP3 player? Which brand? >> No, I use my phone as a music player.

What was your favorite television show as a child? >> I don’t recall having one.

Do you play any instruments? Which instruments do you play? >> No.

Is there anyone who you call by their last name? >> No.

What did you do on your last birthday? >> I don’t remember. I don’t think we went to Chicago on that weekend, mostly because we did two Chicago day-trips last year to get my suit and couldn’t really budget in a third.

Which of the Seven Deadly Sins do you commit the most? >> Sloth.

Has anyone ever told you that you're incapable of whispering? >> No, but I’ve known a fair few people that fit that description.

What is your least favorite subject in school? >> ---

Have you ever been involved in a custody battle before? >> No. I was technically the subject of one as a baby, but it really isn’t much of a battle if one party doesn’t even bother showing up to fight...

Do you know a couple who constantly sucks on each other's face? >> That’s... such a disgusting turn of phrase, please spare me.

Who was the best kisser you've ever dated? >> ---

When was the last time you watched a YouTube video? >> This morning, with my breakfast. Watched Wisecrack’s new video about comedy news, which got me interested in Patriot Act (which I think is on Netflix?).

Have you ever babysat a newborn baby before? >> No.

How many times a week do you usually see the person you love? >> I see the important people in my life every day.

When was the last time you held someone's hand? >> ---

How many meals have you eaten today, so far? >> I ate one actual meal. Nothing else I ate today would qualify as a full meal to me.

Do you think it's stupid for people to call others "hot?" >> Uh, no?

Do you personally think Wikipedia is a reliable source? >> No, it’s a reliable springboard. The sources in the References section, on the other hand, can often be really useful.

Are you someone who listens to more girl or guy bands? >> Most of the artists I listen to are male.

Have you ever shopped at Wet Seal before? Did you like it? >> I know I’ve been inside one, back when there was one on Bleecker and Broadway, but I don’t remember if I bought anything.

Do you care about spending money if it's someone else's money? >> Of course I do.

What is your favorite Disney movie of all time? >> Lilo and Stitch, probably. I want to rewatch that soon, but I’m guessing everything Disney is on Disney+ right now (and streaming from torrents is an incredible pain in the ass in my experience).

When you were a child, did you ever want to become a wizard/witch? >> I don’t recall that ever coming up in my daydreams.

What are the color of your walls? Do you want to repaint? >> Off-white. They’re not my walls to paint (it’s an apartment complex).

Would you rather have hardwood floors or carpet? >> Hardwood, absolutely.

Do you have any siblings you neglect you? >> ---

Who would you say is the most selfish person you know? >> I wouldn’t say that about anyone I know.

Who was the last person you yelled at? Why? >> ---

As a kid, did you ever go to camp? >> Once, to church camp. I’ve gone to camp far more as an adult.

What were the last three movies you watched in theaters? >> Birds of Prey, uhh... fuck. Oh, right, Jojo Rabbit. Don’t remember anything beyond that.

Have you ever made out in a movie theater before? >> Yeah.

Are you currently trying to learn to play any instrument? >> No.

Do you believe in ghosts, spirits or demons? >> I’m open to the experience.

When was the last time you went somewhere you thought was haunted? >> I don’t usually think that about places. I don’t think I have much of a sense for that kind of phenomena.

What is your favorite breakfast meal? >> Veggie burger and chips, apparently, since that’s what I eat every day.

What does the lead singer of your favorite band look like? >> ---

Who was the last person to compliment you? >> I don’t remember the last compliment I got.

How old were you when you got to go on your first date? >> I was eighteen the first time I went on a date.

Would you call your parents over-protective or under-protective? >> ---

Did your parents ever let you play in the pits of those multicolored balls? >> No. I also just don’t think I encountered any of those.

What is the best movie you've seen in the last five years? >> I’ve seen at least like 60 movies in the past five years, how could I possibly choose.

Has anyone ever called you a good kisser before? >> Maybe.

Have any of your siblings ever had a crush on your significant other? >> ---

Are you the jealous type? >> Not at all.

Does life ever seem overly ironic to you? >> Not... really?

When was the last time you felt like you were high on life? >> I’m not familiar with that feeling.

Do you know someone who cares about themselves more than their child? >> I’m sure I do, somewhere. There are a lot of people in this world that behave in ways that suggest this. I mean, my own mother was one.

Do you still watch cartoons on television? >> I watch them on streaming services, but yeah.

What do you usually order at Taco Bell, if you go there? >> I don’t usually go there. I do sometimes like that caramel empanada thing they sell, though.

Is there anyone currently annoying you? >> No.

What's your favorite hairstyle you've had so far? >> ---

Do you have freckles? >> No.

How many dogs do you have, if any at all? >> Zero.

Have you ever witnessed someone being beaten up? >> Yep.

Do you think biting is weird or sexy? >> Depends on the context, don’t it? It’d be weird as fuck if a stranger came up and bit me, for example.

Would you rather be called hot or beautiful? >> No.

Have you ever had a pet turtle before? >> Nope.

Do you still sleep with your parents when you're scared sometimes? >> ---

Have you ever met someone with two different color eyes? >> No.

Have you ever felt like someone was following you? >> Probably.

How many surveys on average would you say you've done in your lifetime? >> Oh, god. Like... a couple thousand at least.

What color shirt are you wearing at the moment? >> Black.

Do you enjoy going school shopping? >> ---

Do you think Pug dogs are adorable or just plain ugly? >> I think they’re a pretty disturbing mutation of dogness, but I wouldn’t treat them poorly because of it. It ain’t their fault humans are weird.

Have you ever met someone who completely resembled their pet? >> No, but I’ve seen listicles like that, lol. They’re always funny.

Has anyone ever knitted you something before? >> No.

What was the worst substance you've spilled on yourself before? >> I don’t recall ever spilling anything heinous on myself. Alcohol can be bad because then you smell like booze and that’s just not a good look.

Have you ever made out with more than one person in one night? >> Yeah.

What three words would describe the person you love? >> ---

Do you think their is a soulmate out there for everyone? >> I don’t find the concept of soulmates useful at all. I guess you could use that word for how I feel about Can Calah, but there are too many awkward (for me) connotations attached to that word by now and I would just rather not.

Do you like short or long surveys the best? >> Longish. This is kind of too long for me, tbh, but I soldier on.

Do you think hairspray is more helpful or annoying? >> I don’t use hairspray.

Have you ever bought fake money and tried to make it pass for real? >> No.

Are your siblings nice the majority of the time? >> ---

How many uncles do you have? >> ---

What would you say is the worst movie you've ever seen? >> All of the movies I really didn’t like, I didn’t finish, so I can’t remember them now.

Do you freak out when a thunderstorm comes along? >> I freak out in excitement, lol. I did freak out pretty badly when I was a child, though. And then one day in adolescence the switch flipped. *shrug*

What is something you'd consider yourself obsessed with? >> Mythology.

How often do you shower? >> Every couple of days.

Have you ever had to sell something for a school fundraiser? >> No.

What is the absolute worst thing about high school? >> What isn’t.

How many sodas do you usually drink in one day? >> Zero.

What kind of cheese do you like the most? >> Pepper jack. Also goat cheese.

Have you ever met someone who was completely weird all-around? >> I wouldn’t describe anyone like that, it doesn’t convey any actual information.

Have you ever met an annorexic pregnant woman? >> What the fuck. What is your favorite lyric of all time? >> ---

Do you know someone who has made their Xbox their best friend basically? >> No???

Do you ever watch any soap operas? >> I mean, I watch Grey’s Anatomy.

Have you ever met someone who was mean to everyone? >> Sure.

If you had to get a tattoo, what would it be? >> I would love to get another tattoo, but seeing as that’s not going to happen any time soon, I don’t have any ideas firmly in mind right now.

If you have any piercings, who did them? >> I don’t remember where I got my nose piercing. Probably at that one spot on St Marks Place. (My ears were done as a baby.)

Do you usually have a low tolerance for pain or high tolerance? >> I have a pretty decent tolerance for most physical aches, but not any kind of abdominal cramp.

Do you give into peer pressure easily? >> That’s not really an issue for me.

Have you ever simply looked at someone & could tell they were homosexual? >> Not unless they were wearing gay pride attire at the Pride parade, or something. Even then they could just be a really exciteable ally, lol (or an otherwise not-cishet person but not necessarily a gay person).

Do you have the ability to read someone without even knowing them? >> No.

Would you rather eat or sleep? >> Er... whichever one I needed at the time?

Are you one of those die hard Twilight or Harry Potter fans? >> No.

Have you ever cried while watching a movie trailor? >> Yeah, they do shit with the music that gets to be painfully identifiable after a while but my brain is still a sucker for it.

When was the last time you changed your hairstyle? >> I don’t remember. I’ve been buzzing my head for years.

Do your parents ever force you to talk to your grandparents? >> ---

If you were a crayon, what color would you be? >> Meh.

Do you think long surveys are broing or entertaining? >> Well, most of them are boring because the questions start to flag in quality. Do I still take them? Yeah. You do what you gotta do.

Have you ever learned that someone had lied to you all along? >> Yup.

When was the last time you had a physical injury? >> I don’t remember.

Have you ever wanted to be a lawyer? >> Not at all.

Have you ever had to bail someone out of jail before? >> No. I don’t even have that kind of money.

Is there anyone in your imediate family who was adopted? >> ---

Do you know anyone who doesn't have any common sense? >> I don’t think common sense is a thing. There are people I know who are not experienced in the same ways I’m experienced; when they are clueless about a thing I’m intimately familiar with, then it sometimes strikes me as odd, yeah. But that doesn’t mean my sense is “common” or that they’re stupid, it just means I’m used to knowing what I know and I often assume other people do too (which is what I get for assuming).

When was the last time you bought something? >> Saturday, at the farmers’ market.

Do you think you look anything like your parents? >> ---

Who is the skinniest person you know? Is it because of a disease? >> I don’t know, man, I’m not keeping track.

Do you know someone who is discustingly obese who wears G-strings? >> Wow.

Do you know someone who insults themselves to get attention? >> I know a lot of self-deprecating people, but far be it from me to assume that they’re doing it for attention. Some might be, but that’s not up to me to determine.

Is this year the best one you've had so far? >> LOL

What are your plans for this weekend? >> This coming weekend? I have no idea.

What color is your significant other's hair? >> Sparrow’s hair is currently a burgundy-type red. Can Calah’s hair is white. King Crimson’s hair is kind of the same colour as Sparrow’s, incidentally.

Have you ever applied for a job at Walmart before? >> Maybe.

Do you know anyone who does drugs currently? >> Sure.

Would you ever become a foster parent? >> No.

Are you ashamed of anyone in your family? >> ---

What jobs do your parents have? >> ---

Would rather talk to someone on a landline or a cell phone? >> I’d rather not talk to anyone on a phone, period.

Have you ever had a Tumblr account? Are you devoted to it? >> What’s tumblr? (I don’t know if “devoted” is the word I’d use, but I’m pretty fond of my blogs and the fun I have putting stuff on them.)

Has anyone ever given you a psychiatric assessment? >> Yes.

If you got pregnant right now, would you abort the baby? >> Of course, but see, I avoid that situation entirely by just not doing anything that could possibly get me pregnant.

Speaking of which, are you for or against abortion? >> Take a wild guess.

What is your favorite amusement park? >> I don’t have one. Well, does Luna Park at Coney Island count? Lot of good times there.

What was the best Christmas gift you've ever gotten? >> ---

Has anyone ever called you jealous of them before? >> Sure.

Did you ever have braces? >> Nope.

Who is your favorite actor or actress? >> It varies.

What is the most important date in your life so far? >> ---

How many people your age do you know who are pregnant? >> Zero.

What is cuter: kisses on the forehead of the cheek? >> ---

Do you believe in evolution or creation? >> I stand pretty firmly on the side of evolution. I do love a good creation myth, though.

Would you rather take a bath or a shower? Why or why not? >> I will never take a bath if I can help it. I just have a strong aversion to them, take it up with my neuroatypical brain matter.

What group would you say you'd normally fit into the most? >> Bold of you to assume etc etc

As a child, what game did you want to play the most? >> ---

Does it bother you when people touch your personal items? >> It really does. Unless I’ve given express permission, of course, but that doesn’t really happen with anyone except Sparrow.

When was the last time you did something sexual? >> Er... about a week ago? Something like that?

Where was the last place you went on vacation? >> Texas. Kind of a vacation. Mostly a day-and-a-half trip for the purpose of attending a wedding.

Do you collect anything? What? >> No.

What kind of Pringles do you like the most? >> I don’t.

Are you better at hand-drawing things or painting? >> I assume I’m slightly better at drawing than at painting, simply because I actually have a background in drawing (although my muscle memory is pretty atrophied).

Have either of your parents ever called you a failure before? >> Not in so many words.

What do you think is the grossest taste in the world? >> Oh, I don’t know.

What color... Are your second best friend's eyes?  -- Is your math binder? I’m done with school. Is your English teacher's hair? ^^^ Is your bathrobe? I don’t have one. Was the shirt of the last person you spoke to? Black.

Was the shirt of the last person you kissed?  I don’t remember, it was years ago. Is the kind of jam in the fridge? Purple; it’s grape jelly. Is your MSN font? I don’t use MSN, never have. Is that even still a thing? Is your bathtub? White. Are the socks you're wearing?  White. Is your home phone? Black. Is your cellphone?  Coral. Is the last pair of earrings you wore?  Rose gold. Is the hallway walls? White. Is your alarm clock?  I use an app on my phone, which like I said is coral. Is your favorite book?  I have way too many favorites to choose. Is your dream house?  Hm. I’m not sure what color I’d want my dream house to be. I always think about the interior. Is your dream boyfriend/girlfriend's car?  *shrug* I wouldn’t care. Is your computor chair?  I don’t have one, I go on my laptop on my bed. Is your tightest shirt? Uh, I don’t have any tight shirts. Is your tighest pair of pants?  Most of my jeans are dark wash (dark blue), with the exception of a pair of black jeans.  Is/was your school mascot?  I’m not sharing that. Nails does the last girl you laughed with have? Burgundy. Are your pets?  Tan, white, black. Is your bzoink profile?  I don’t have one. Is/was your locker? Never had one. Is your most itchy and uncomfortable sweater?  I don’t own any itchy and uncomfortable sweaters, only comfortable ones.  Is the frame your favorite picture is in? Black. Is your favorite CD case?  I don’t have any CDs. Do you... Enjoy your job?  I don’t have a job. Find shyness attractive?  It can be cute. Have someone to call your own?  No. Drink at least one glass of Pepsi every day? No. I don’t drink soda anymore (except the bit I drink with my medicine cause I have to crush my pills and I mix it with soda). I used to drink soda everyday for a long time, but it was Coke or Dr. Pepper mostly.  Swoon over accents? Some are attractive. Use violence to get your own way?  Never. Smoke cigarettes?  No. Keep track of all the things you need to do?  I sometimes make a list or set reminders if needed.  Spend too much money on makeup? I haven’t bought any makeup in like 3 years. Spend too much money on books? No. I use Kindle Unlimited, which is a subscription service that gives access to a shitload of books for a low monthly price, but I’m on my mom’s account. Get everything you want?  No. Prefer guys with hair or bald?  With. Say 'obvi'?  I sometimes say “obvs.” Read books about vampires? I was into the whole Twilight phase back in the day when the books were coming out. Know anyone who is trying to have a baby?  I don’t know, maybe. Treat customers at your work nice? Have dark eyes?  Yeah. Have bright eyes?  No. Have a display picture of only yourself on facebook?  Yeah. Aspire to look/be like Paris Hilton? No. Listen to music or watch TV more?  I watch more TV. Have a display picture on bzoink?  I don’t have Bzoink. Sleep during class? I never did that. Have the guts to shave your head for cancer? I would donate money to a cancer research charity. Have more then four piercings?  Nope. Have a lot of money on you right now?  No. Know anyone who is anorexic?  No. Talk on the phone or MSN more? Neither. Go online shopping?  Yeah. That’s how I’ve done all my shopping in recent years. What's the best... Kind of cookie?  Sugar or shortbread. Location to have a romantic kiss? I don't know. It's not so much about the setting, really. It's moreso how it's done and how the person comes onto you. <<< Yeah, it could take place anywhere. Although, I do think it’d be cute to share a kiss at the beach with the sunset behind us or a cute photo op at Disneyland. Location to have a romantic date? Somewhere cozy or like overlooking the ocean. Veggie in salad?  Spinach and green onions. Sickness to pretend to have when faking sick? I never had to pretend cause I actually felt sick often enough, but I do admit to exaggerating or milking it a few times :X Way to sit on a couch?  Uhh sometimes with my legs to the side or “criss cross applesauce” lol whatever you want to call it. Outfit to wear on a date?  I’d go with a nice pair of jeans and a cute, dressy top. Junk food to have at a sleepover?  Pizza and chips. Way to get your mind of someone? I’ve always had a hard time with that.

Salad dressing? Ranch. Kind of shoes to wear to the beach?  My usual sneakers/tennis shoes/whatever you wanna call ‘em. I never, ever wear sandals, flip flops, or any kind of open toed shoe, so.  Way to get over somebody? It takes me a long time, but it just starts to ease up over time, really. One day turns to two, then a week turns to weeks, a month to months, etc. Time keeps going and it just starts to get easier eventually. Especially if you don’t see or talk to them anymore. Fruit in fruit salad?  I don’t eat fruit salads. Way to propose to someone? I don’t plan on getting married or having that happen for me, but I gotta admit the cheesy, kinda over the top ones can be cute. Music to listen to if you're sad?  Sad, relatable music. Thing to do when you're staying up all night? Scroll through Tumblr, surveys, watch YouTube/listen to ASMR. Way to cheer someone up? Try to do something they enjoy, maybe get some food or something, and help take their mind off whatever. Well, unless they want to talk about it. Book to read on a rainy day? Whatever I happened to feel like reading. I wouldn’t choose a certain type of book because it was raining. Time to go to bed? My norm this year has become like 7 or 8AM for some awful reason. Today it’s already 820AM and here I am... Time to wake up at? Lately, I’ve been getting up after 3PM, sometimes after 4PM. Party makeup? I didn’t have party makeup. Way to get someone to like you? Ha, I’m definitely not the one to ask. Thing to sleep on? (Other then a bed)  Uh, but beds are the best thing to sleep on. Way to do your hair when having a bad hair day? My hair is always just up in a bun. Video game to play all night when you can't sleep?  I used to do that with The Sims, but it’s been a couple years since I last played. Now I play Animal Crossing for a bit, but mostly I’m just scrolling through Tumblr, doing surveys, and watching YouTube. Girly movie?  I have several favorite “chick flicks.” Joke to tell?  I love punny jokes. Movie to watch when you're in the mood for something scary? Oooh there’s so many to choose from. It would just depend on what I felt like watching. Way to show someone you love them?  Telling them of course, but showing them is very important as well. Spend time with them, make their favorite meal, surprise them with something they like, do something with them that they enjoy, write them sweet little notes, etc.

2018 Resolutions

2017 was the best year of my life, it was so extremely good despite being so extremely bad at times, and I’ve come out of it a completely different person than I was at the beginning. After reading things I wrote a year ago, I can barely even recognize myself, and for that I’m grateful. I grew so much this year and made so many amazing memories, experienced both so many fantastic and horrifying things. For the first time in my life, I’m happy with the way I’ve ended the year, happy with the things I’ve accomplished and people I’ve met and memories I’ve made and growth I’ve achieved. This year, and the past couple of weeks especially, have really made me realize the things I want to further achieve or continue to nurture in myself and my relationships and my lifestyle this year. 2018 is going to be another life changing year, I can feel it, and I’m so excited for what’s to come. So with that, here are all the things I want to work on in 2018!

Personal Growth:

1. Live softly and openly: more authentically and honestly. Accept and embrace all emotions instead of trying to suppress and ignore them, even (especially) the negative ones. If someone close to you does something to hurt you, tell them (in a non accusatory way of course)!! Communicate with your loved ones more openly and healthily, especially your partner!! Be thankful. Be kinder to yourself and more accepting of you and your emotions. This is the year of openness and self love! Sing out loud when others are around, laugh more, worry less, speak your mind, allow yourself to make mistakes, don’t hold grudges and let things go, live your life full of warmth and softness and thankfulness and acceptance and love!! Focus on healing, work harder on making progress in therapy, be at peace

2. Be more spiritual. You tried leaving your spirituality behind this year but it just doesn’t work, it’s part of you. You’re connected to the forces in this earth whether you like it or not, so you might as well learn the best way for you personally to embrace them and learn from their energy and influence. Learn more about baha’i, connect with the temple in your city, maybe it’s the path for you. Pray more, give thanks, ask for guidance. Learn more about witch craft and crystals and herbalism. Get more comfortable with mindfulness meditation and practice yoga regularly again

3. Get back into running and working out. Exercise really does help your mental health, last spring you worked out almost every day and your mind had never been healthier and it hasn’t been that healthy since then. If your body is in shape, your mind will be in shape too

4. Go a year without dieting/trying to lose weight. You’ve come a long way, huh? This is the first time you’ve ever gone into a year comfortable enough with yourself and your recovery progress that you don’t feel the need to lose weight. Try to maintain that for a year, we want this to be the first year without an ED relapse, you can do it!! Don’t count calories, don’t restrict, eat when you’re hungry, eat what you want. Obviously don’t just let your diet go to shit, you don’t want to become physically unhealthy by only eating shit, but don’t be too strict about only eating “healthy” foods. Eat your fruits and veggies, try your best, but the occasional junk food day won’t be the end of the world. Also cook even more this year and bake more cakes and breads and such.

5. Go a year without self harming. You both set a record of 296 days, and had more relapses than usual this year. Try to break the record this year and not do it at all.

6. Don’t drink or smoke when you’re feeling self destructive. I’m not gonna say never get drunk or high, but don’t do it when you’re not in a good state of mind, because then it just turns into an act of self harm. Try to drink in moderation most of the time, but it’s fine to party once in a while if you’re in an ok/good state of mind

7. Practice your languages again. Get back into Japanese and Italian, get your love to teach you more Chinese. Learn even more about Italian culture, customs, and traditions--get back to your roots, learn more about his roots as well

Self care:

1. Practice skincare and haircare again. Get your skincare routine back, but lean more towards natural products and be more minimalist about it. Still try to do a mask once or twice a week tho and moisturize regularly. Learn more about haircare, find natural shampoo and conditioner, learn about co-washing and oils and natural diy masks and do those regularly. Nail care too! Also more candles and more baths with flower petals and oils/salts.

2. Braid your hair more. When you’re feeling sad, braid the sadness into your hair to release it from your body. Lessons from the old country

3. Read more poetry and good books. Be laid back about it, if you don’t like a book, or don’t feel like finishing one, don’t force yourself! Just move on to the next one!

4. Treat yoself. Acquire more nice lingerie, maybe get your tattoo and/or a piercing. Buy more flowers, get more plants for the apartment. Maybe take a trip with your love and his friends later in the year

Adulting:

1. Graduate uni and find a real job!! Also figure out eventual grad school stuff, and take the GRE if applying to grad school in the fall. Figure out your future career path, probably child/teen psych or school counseling. Find a job hopefully related to those, but take anything that’s full time and has benefits and pays the bills and allows you to live comfortably and save money and not live paycheck to paycheck constantly worrying about money for the love of GOD

2. Find a (more permanent?) place to live. Yo lease is up 6 months from today, hopefully you can find a better job before that so you’ll know ur price range

3. BUDGET!!! Your mind is so much more peaceful when you budget and you know whether or not you’ll make rent without worrying all the time, start being strict about this again

4. Finally sell your old clothes and pawn the two rings you want to get rid of. A little extra money never hurt

5. Clean social media, phone, computer, and music library. Declutter yo

Relationship:

1. Finally have ~the talk~ with the bf. See if we’re on the same page about future goals and expectations and where we’re headed. Pretty sure we are but we still need to talk about it lmao. Talk about moving in now or eventually before my lease is up

2. Finally cum with him. I have no problem doing it on my own, but I’ve never been able to do it with him and I know it’s a mental issue on my part from all my trauma and personal issues, but I’ve really been trying to work on it and I’ve been getting so close and he’s working so hard I really wanna give him this and experience it with him this year, hopefully soon

3. Help him start his counselling journey for his issue I’m so happy he’s working to overcome this, but he’s not that comfortable talking about it so he’s gonna need a lot of help and support and it’s probably gonna be a long journey for both of us but he’s worth it

4. Continue to nurture a healthy and strong relationship with him! Communication is neither of our strong points but we’re both trying our best and we’re both getting better at it every day. Relationships are hard work, you gotta constantly work to keep them healthy and strong, but they’re so worth it oh my god i love him so much and i’m so excited for this year with him

I was tag by @champagnelarrie and had fun doing this so thank you 😊 hopefully those I've tag will join in on the fun and anyone who I haven't tagged but sees this hopefully will do it as well. So in no particular order I tag @hogwartzlou @mullinhore @alldayeveryday1daf @goddamnlouis @guesswhatyourealoser @bravestmanintheworld @they-feel-the-same @prettygoodfromhere @styloueh @afangirlfantasy @acertaintwistedtenderness @disenchanteddeath @always-in-my-heartx @justholdonharry Here's mine - LAST [1] drink: coffee with kalua [2] phone call: brother [3] text message: friend for her birthday [4] song you listened to: Broken by Xenia Ghali [5] time you cried: probably two months ago when I had to move but I'm glad I did [6] dated someone twice: Date? What's that? [7] been cheated on: never as far as I know [8] kissed someone and regretted it: never [9] lost someone special: My daddy almost five years ago [10] been depressed: a few years ago was not good times but thankfully music kept me going [11] gotten drunk and thrown up: like two years ago. Try not to go that far when I drink to avoid doing just that. LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS: [12] blue [13] blue [14] and now green ;-) IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… [15] made new friends: yes [16] fallen out of love: no [17] laughed until you cried: oh for sure. Laughter really is good medicine for the soul [18] found out someone was talking about you: my old boss cause he realizes he lost a great employee and treated me like crap when I gave my two weeks notice but now he's suffering for it [19] met someone who changed you: not in the last year but someone who helped me be more open and let my walls down a bit [20] found out who your true friends are: not really but because of my move I've found the people who want to keep our friendship alive and take time to stay in touch long distance [21] kissed someone on your facebook list: no I don't really Facebook but in any case no to the kissing (see question 22 lol) [22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them they're all family and friends [23] do you have any pets: sadly no though I live with two dogs, one cat, two turtles and one hamster [24] do you want to change your name: no but I usually go by a shortened version since it's a little long at four syllables [25] what did you do for your last birthday: just dinner with friends but it was nice [26] what time did you wake up: its Sunday and I slept in till 11:00 almost [27] what were you doing at midnight last night: catching up on The Originals [28] name something you cannot wait for: My knight in shinning armor lol but no really I guess Louis' new single. I really can't wait to hear it [29] when was the last time you saw your mother: a few minutes ago [30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: to believe I can find my contentment again [31] what are you listening to right now: Nothing right now cause I'm concentrating on this [32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: Yes one of my bosses who was a great guy [33] something that is getting on your nerves: stupid drivers [34] most visited website: probably tumblr yup just checked my battery usage and almost double of what the next one down the line was [35] elementary: just fun and friends [36] high school: Not a bad experience though I had to work harder but we had fun too especially senior year [37] college: One year and then I quit [38] hair colour: naturally black but right now brown [39] long or short hair: I like short cause it's easier to maintain but I'm thinking of growing it out some [40] do you have a crush on someone: sadly no [41] what do you like about yourself?: I think I'm a nice person and try to help others though sometimes it's taken as being weak [42] piercings: Just my ears don't think I'll venture further than that [43] blood type: B+ [44] nickname: V [45] relationship status: single [46] zodiac sign: libra [47] pronouns: she/her [48] fav tv show(s): ugh was vampire diaries but right now probably so you think you can dance [49] tattoos: yes, two. One I like to refer to as my satanic symbol but it's just a Celtic knot and the other which hurt like hell is my sons footprint from birth on my foot [50] right or left handed: right FIRST… [51] surgery: thankfully never [52] piercing: ears [53] best friend: kelly [54] sport: swimming [55] vacation: camping on Long Island. So relaxing with nothing to do but chill out and beach days [56] pair of trainers: reebok [57] eating: the customary cooked and mashed veggies but not from a jar. Mom made it fresh daily for her wee baby [58] drinking: Booby milk from mom [59] i’m about to: watch a movie probably [60] listening to: nothing right now [61] waiting for: Mr. Right [62] want: to smoke but I won't cause it's so bad for you so I don't [63] get married: never say never but no. Been there done that and NO [64] career: probably missed my calling to be a teacher but right now I'm a bookkeeper YOUR TYPE… [65] hugs or kisses: hugs for sure they're like tea where they will fix almost anything [66] lips or eyes: eyes [67] shorter or taller: taller but just a little bit [68] older or younger: younger but just a little bit too [69] romantic or spontaneous: romantic [70] nice arms or nice stomach: no preference just nice I guess. A good person to be honest [71] sensitive or loud: Sensitive [72] hook up or relationship: I'd like a relationship but after being on my own for so long I hope I can sustain one if it comes along [73] troublemaker or hesitant: Uh neither I think HAVE YOU EVER… [74] kissed a stranger?: well not total stranger I knew his name and talked to him for a few hours first [75] drank hard liquor?: yes but usually mixed with something no shots [76] lost glasses/contact lenses?: no never but I have broken a pair once [77] turned someone down: yes [78] sex on first date?: NO [79] broken someone’s heart?: yeah unfortunately but then he broke mine as well [80] had your own heart broken?: yes see above :'-( [81] been arrested? hell no I would probably die before they ever got me in the police car [82] cried when someone died? YES [83] fallen for a friend: no DO YOU BELIEVE IN… [84] yourself?: fo sure [85] miracles?: yes [86] love at first sight?: no but yes to lust at first sight [87] santa claus? No but I wish I did still [88] kiss on the first date?: sure if you feel like a spark is there why not [89] angels?: yes [90] current best friend’s name: mitzy [91] eye colour: dark brown [92] favourite movies: Mary Freakin Poppins!!!

Tag Game 2.0 

I was tagged by @humanitys-shortest-soldier I’m glad you’re still kicking!

rules: answer these 85 things while i procrastinate on that monstrous prompt that’s calling to me

THE LAST:

1. drink: currently drinking a steamed milk with sugar sprinkled on top

2. phone call: my mom

3. text message: actual text? my boss. otherwise group chatting with the fam

4. song you listened to: voluntarily, addicted to you by avicii while i thought about how flipping good that eruri art is. but something indie and unrecognizable is playing at the café I'm holed up at.

5. time you cried: i had a dream i cried a lot last night. twas weird, nezumi was there, i was nezumi who knows. i feel like in the waking hours it was recently, but i can’t recall for the life of me rn. it’s on the tip of my memory. or maybe that was a dream too? hmm.

6. dated someone twice: hah. 

7. kissed someone and regretted it: yes.

8. been cheated on: yeah, sort of.

9. lost someone special: um, probably? i had a dear friend once years ago that i didn’t keep in touch with and i hope she’s well and the world is treating her like the tiny goddess she is.

10. been depressed: currently, my friends, currently. writing tooth-rotting fluff helps, let me tell you. 

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: yes, but only twice and a long time ago. once was a decade ago and i still remember it clearly *shudders*

THREE FAVORITE COLORS:

12. pink, like blush pink

13. yellow, but soft yellow, like afternoon sunlight

14. every other color, i love them all, but I prefer more muted, gentle colors. not that jewel-tones aren’t gorgeous. teal? mhmm. turner watercolors tend to be the types of colors i like. or my “palette” tag on tumblr

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. made new friends: i’ve met lots of lovely people <3

16. fallen out of love: no

17. laughed until you cried: it’s not a good day if i haven’t :)

18. found out someone was talking about you: yeah, but i think it was good? 

19. met someone who changed you: absolutely

20. found out who your friends are: this one always cracks me up. 

21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: wtf, no haha. also, i don’t have a Facebook

GENERAL:

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: i escaped Facebook hell long ago

23. do you have any pets: no, but i dream of the day i have multiple cats 

24. do you want to change your name: lol! funny story friends

25. what did you do for your last birthday: it was really nice actually. i had a fancy cupcake and stayed home :)

26. what time do you wake up: anywhere between 8am and 11am these days

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: finishing bsd s2, yass

28. name something you can’t wait for: nothing atm, finally reaching emotional peace and a place in my life where I'm financially stable by the ocean with my cats i suppose

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: just had dinner with her 

31. what are you listening to right now: that sort of bizarre indie station at the café. let’s change that. ....i just hit play on obsessions by marina & the diamonds

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: yeah?

33. something that is getting on your nerves: plenty of things

34. most visited website: tumblr and youtube, or gmail i believe

35. hair color: brown

36. long or short hair: my own hair is short

37. do you have a crush on someone: no. i haven't had a crush in so long my heart forgot what that’s like

38. what do you like about yourself: i know myself well, i like my own sense of humor

39. piercings: none

40. blood type: o negative

41. nickname: well, everyone online calls me something different so

42. relationship status: single

43. zodiac: gemini! dazai is my birthday pal

45. favourite tv show: durarara? i don’t watch tv outside of anime just now

46. tattoos: none, but i want, oh how i want

47. right or left handed: right

48. surgery: just a topical one a long time ago, want to see my scars?

50. sport: no, but i used to play rugby and run a lot

51. vacation: this is so vague! i enjoy the ocean

52. pair of trainers: i literally wear sketchers guys

MORE GENERAL:

53. eating: again, vague but i just had some rice and veggies w/ guacamole which it was pretty magnificent. i like veggie curry like you wouldn’t believe.

54. drinking: coffee, always. though i do enjoy earl grey/chai/fennel-based teas

55. I’m about to: write this prompt?? finish izanyas glorious skk fic? get into bed and watch asmr videos?

56. waiting for: nothing in particular

57. want: to be better about writing daily, to be calm and organized about it, to finish my wips, not get overwhelmed by projects. all very attainable things that I'm working towards :)

58. get married: i very much doubt it, but i suppose you never know

59. career: i’m a librarian, to answer this the short way. trying to figure out what i want to do long-term in life is a big focus of mine rn

WHICH IS BETTER:

60. hugs or kisses: i dont enjoy being touched in general, but hypothetically both are wonderful 

61. lips or eyes: on people? i dont know, all people look different, their features come together in unique ways and that’s fabulous

62. shorter or taller: no preference?

63. older or younger: ahh i never know if these are about dating. i prefer people to be close to my age or older regardless

64. nice arms or nice stomach: ....psh you do you, y'all are lovely

65. hook up or relationship: *shrug* whatever you like, i can't imagine being in a relationship so I'm going to say neither just now

66. troublemaker or hesitant: myself? flighty troublemaker, in others...i dont know, i dont get out much ;) both are good, so long as you aren’t an ass i think

HAVE YOU EVER:

67. kissed a stranger: no

68. drank hard liquor: yes

69. lost glasses/contact lenses: i dont wear either

70. turned someone down: yes

71. sex on the first date: honestly, i dont think I've ever been on a date in that sense

72. broken someone’s heart: yes? maybe. at the time i think so.

73. had your heart broken: yes, my friends, yes.

74. been arrested: no.

75. cried when someone died: yes, both in real life and in fiction. crying is good, let out your pain

76. fallen for a friend: not since middle school

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

77. yourself: hmmm, i think that’s a complex answer. logically, yeah, I'm a tough muffin.

78. miracles: no, but coincidences sure are mind-blowing sometimes, aren’t they?

79. love at first sight: nah

80. santa claus: lol oh god

81. kiss on the first date: sure, if you like that

82. angels: nope, but sign me tf up for wing!fics

OTHER:

83. current best friend’s name: i think the closest i have to this is my sister

84. eye color: brown

85. favorite movie: i dont really watch films to tell you the truth. surely i have one. this is like the crying question, i know it’s there, i just can’t recall

-> #lowcarb #lowcal #macrofriendly #highprotein #myrecipe 2-INGREDIENT VEGAN PROTEIN COOKIE DOUGH February 17, 2017 5 Comments • This 2-ingredient vegan protein cookie dough is easily customizable to suit all your cookie dough needs! Try adding cinnamon, ginger and nutmeg for gingerbread cookie dough, peanut butter for peanut butter cookie dough or mixing in some chocolate chips for a real treat! The texture falls somewhere between cookie dough and cake batter, whatever you want to call it, it tastes amazing and is super simple to make. Just two everyday ingredients needed! I usually enjoy it for breakfast with a side of tofu scramble and veggies. It’s a nice alternative to protein oats and a great way to re-fuel after a hard morning workout. I like making a big batch on the weekend so I’m ready for yummy, cookie dough breakfast all week! 2-Ingredient Vegan Protein Cookie Dough for Breakfast2-Ingredient Vegan Protein Cookie Dough for Breakfast MACRO CREATIVITY I seem to be at my most creative in the kitchen when I’m tracking macros. Not that this is a creative recipe or really even a recipe at all (just mix two things together!) but I’ve come up with some pretty delicious macro-friendly treats lately! (I consider this vegan protein cookie dough to be a dessert. Even though I eat it for breakfast, it’s doughy and carby and feels like dessert to me!) I will always find a way to include treats in my diet because I love sweets and creating them makes me happy. And when you’re tracking your macros, sometimes you need to get a little creative to fit things in! BEST MACRO-FRIENDLY DESSERT INGREDIENTS To make healthier desserts, there are a number of ingredients that make creating lower fat and carb treats a breeze. For a recipe to be considered “macro-friendly”, it’s typically lower in calorie with a good balance of macronutrients. Using the ingredients below to replace fats and carbohydrates can help bring those two macros down in recipes that are typically high in fat and carbs. I like to keep desserts low fat with a manageable amount of carbohydrates and some protein. The more balanced each meal and snack I eat is, the easier it is to keep my macros balance overall. The ingredients listed below are my favourites for making lower calorie desserts. I like to keep these on hand and ready to go! • 1. Unsweetened applesauce: replace oil in recipes, yummy mixed with protein, oats and used in other recipes. Try my apple oat protein muffins! 2. Coconut flour: great for lower carb and grain-free baking, pancakes etc. 3. Canned pumpkin: a must-have and staple in my kitchen, awesome in smoothies, oats and baking! 3. Sweet potato puree : excellent source of vitamins and minerals and great for baking, adding to oats, pancakes and more! 4. Frozen fruit: once thawed, frozen fruit purees are great for making sugar-free jam, adding to oats and pancakes, using in baking and other recipes, my favourite is strawberries since they’re low in sugar. Try my strawberry protein oat bars! 6. Coconut yogurt: mixes well with protein or powdered peanut butter to make dips, frosting and pudding. 7. Cocoa powder: low in calories and perfect for all your chocolate creations, raw cacao powder is also a great option for it’s health benefits. 8. Vegan protein powder: add protein to pretty much any dessert recipe and making protein mug cakes, I use Vega Performance Protein for most of my recipes, Vega has a pea protein base which works great in most instances, I also keep a number of other vegan proteins such as hemp and brown rice, I like them for adding protein to smoothies, oats and energy bars. 9. Quick oats: awesome for baking, pancakes and other recipes. Try my protein cookie dough oats! 10. Cinnamon, pumpkin pie and other spices: add variety and flavour to your desserts without adding calories. 11. Banana: both fresh and frozen banana is a must-have at all times! Try my baked chocolate banana oatmeal bars! 12. Dairy-free chocolate chips: not exactly healthy but I like how far 1 tablespoon can stretch so I always keep some on hand for chocolate-craving emergencies, dark chocolate is also a good option. 13. Powdered peanut butter: absolute must-have for macro-counting peanut butter lovers, I use Naked brand. Try my peanut butter banana cookies! 14. Stevia – I use powdered stevia or liquid stevia drops for a calorie-free sweetener. 15. Unsweetened almond milk – very low calorie, dairy-free alternative to cow’s milk, excellent in all sorts of dessert recipes. 16. Zuchinni – grated zucchini can be handy for adding volume to baking. Try my skinny chocolate chip zucchini muffins! Other than that, keep baking basics such as baking powder, baking soda, arrowroot starch and a good quality sea salt and you’ll always be ready to make a healthier option to satisfy your sweet tooth. • KEEPING SUGAR IN CHECK Even though I love sweets and include them in my diet almost daily, the base of my diet is still vegetables. Try not to go crazy with an “if it fits my macros” mindset. You can easily reach your daily macro goals through healthy, low sugar whole foods. PUT VEGGIES FIRST The great thing about flexible dieting is that there is room to include treats but you should still make healthy choices for the most part. Micronutrients are just as important as macronutrients, especially if you want feel your best, and not be starving all the time! What works best for me is eating tons of non-starchy vegetables, some starchy vegetables and fruit, some grains, beans and lentils, some nuts and then I add protein sources like seitan, tempeh and tofu and fill in the gaps with a protein supplement. If you’ve read some of my earlier posts on vegan flexible dieting, I shared that I’ve found it nearly impossible to reach the protein requirements without some supplementation. That being said, it’s still possible to get most of my protein through whole food sources, without the need for a ton of soy products. • 2-INGREDIENT VEGAN PROTEIN COOKIE DOUGH Enough chit chat, right? Let’s get to this vegan protein cookie dough! Honestly, this isn’t much of a recipe, I just really love it so I thought it’s about time to share! It’s made by blending baked sweet potato with Vanilla Vega Performance Protein. That’s it. 2 simple ingredients. I love the texture of Vega Performance Protein in recipes like this and even on it’s own. I often eat it as protein pudding just mixed with water, or mixed into applesauce, coconut yogurt or pumpkin puree. PROTEIN COOKIE DOUGH VARIATIONS There are plenty of ways to customize this recipe. I usually keep it basic and then add my favourite toppings after. 1. Low-Fat Peanut Butter Cookie Dough: replace some of the protein powder with powdered peanut butter. 2. Gingerbread Protein Cookie Dough: add 2 tsp cinnamon, 1 tsp ginger, a pinch of nutmeg, a pinch of salt and a drizzle of molasses. 3. Oatmeal Raisin Cookie Dough: replace some of the protein powder with oats, add raisins and cinnamon. 4. Double Chocolate Protein Cookie Dough: use chocolate Vega Performance Protein, replace a few tablespoons of the protein with cocoa powder, add chocolate chips. 5. Snickerdoodle Protein Cookie Dough: add plenty of cinnamon, a drizzle of maple syrup and pure vanilla extract. 6. Coconut Macaroon Protein Cookie Dough: replace some of the protein with unsweetened shredded coconut and a few drops of coconut extract. You can add also chia seeds, hemp seeds, ground flax, maca…anything you can think of! It’s not super sweet so if you want it a bit sweeter, taste it after blending and sweeten with a bit of stevia. Sometimes I also add a dash of baking soda and a little pinch of sea salt to enhance the cookie dough flavour. Up to you! SERVING SIZE I use this recipe to make 3 servings but it could easily stretch into 4 or 5. If you make 3 servings out of it, the macros are 38 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fat and 33 grams of protein. I usually add 1 tablespoon of almond butter when I eat it post-workout to get a bit more fat in after training. • VEGAN PROTEIN COOKIE DOUGH This 2-ingredient vegan protein cookie dough is amazing for breakfast topped with almond butter, coconut and chocolate chips! Keep a batch in the fridge and grab a spoonful anytime you feel a cookie dough craving coming on. Sugar-free, oil-free, gluten-free. * Author: Deryn Macey * Total Time: 5 mins INGREDIENTS * 500 grams cooked sweet potato (peeled), approximately 2 large or 4 small * 3 servings (126 g) Vega Vanilla Performance Protein * optional: * a bit of powder or liquid stevia, to taste INSTRUCTIONS 1. Place ingredients in a blender or food professor and mix until it forms a thick dough. 2. Place in the fridge for a few hours up to overnight to firm up. You can eat it right away but it’s best after chilled in the fridge! NOTES If you plan on topping with nut butter, try mixing it in before placing in the fridge. The texture with added peanut or almond butter is amazing! I usually divide my dough into 3 containers for food prep, then mix 1 tablespoon of almond butter into each one. Alternatively, you can add 3 tablespoons of nut butter to the blender when making the whole batch. YUM! To make the baked sweet potato, simply pierce your sweet potatoes with a fork a few times and place in the oven. Bake at 350 degrees until easily pierced through with a fork or knife. Let cool until you can handle them, the skin should easily peel off. Add to a blender or food processor with the protein and mix until smooth. I’d recommend adding a food scale to your kitchen for accuracy when baking and making other recipes. Volume amounts can vary greatly so cooking by weight is the way to go for best results. NUTRITION * Serving Size: 1/3 of recipe * Calories: 300 * Fat: 3 * Carbohydrates: 38 * Protein: 33