#but if anyone clowns im blocking without mercy the aro wrath is strong in me today do not try it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hopefullystillliving · 1 year

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The A does not fucking stand for ally

I am asexual and aromantic and proud of it, and I am just as much a part of the community, just as queer, as any of my trans, gay, and mspec siblings.

Vent below (:

I realize that I'm sometimes a little optimistic, but I did really think that this wasn't an issue anymore, except for those terminally online exclusionists and the well-meaning but uninformed.

I did not expect it to be an issue at a college event's queer resource center table.

They had some buttons and stickers that I was pawing through. I didn't really expect my sunset aroace flag, since but I'm aware it's not terribly well known, but had hope for an ace and an aro button. Maybe with cute puns.

I found one generic ace sticker- a little heart, on a roll with several other flags. Including polysexual, omnisexual, pan, and bi. Amongst the buttons were many more obscure flags, like polyamorous, genderfluid, and agender.

And honestly even thought it bites, I usually get it! I'm used to it, you have to pick and choose your flags, right? Asexual isn't in the big 4 and aromantic is even less well known.

But to include polysexual and omnisexual alongside bi and pan, to include agender but not asexual or aromantic???

And I'm genuinely ecstatic they got recognition to be clear! I was very glad to see the polyam button especially, since I've never seen the flag in person before! But including so many more obscure identities and microlables when the term asexual has been around since the infancy of Pride, and aromantic is literally almost as old as me, give or take a year??

But what was worse to me was that they had a little calendar of events- I can't even remember the specific one, something like a discussion group?- but whatever it was, was titled LGBTQ & A.

As in: and allies. It just-

I get not wanting to use the extended acronym, it's bulky and hard to be inclusive even when you use the plus, and that's why I use queer. But then to say A is for ally?

I admit I feel kinda petty about being so hurt. But I have a right to my anger and frustration and sadness when the community I stand with that is supposed to stand by me just. Doesn't. Doesn't even acknowledge that yes love is love but some people don't and we're with them too!

I'm almost completely unable to interact with the community irl. To have this be one of my first, indirect as it was, leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I don't think that this was an accurate picture of the center, and I have hope that it's better than it presented itself here.

The A is for asexual and aromantic (and agender too, if they want to use it). Not allies. I didn't think that visibility was too much to ask.

#vent #im leaving reblogs on for now bc maybe this will help someone who feels similar #but if anyone clowns im blocking without mercy the aro wrath is strong in me today do not try it #aromantic #asexual #queer #queer pride #queer wrath #aroace #aspec #anti exclusionist #ace exclusion #aro exclusion

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