#but i won't even try to explain this one | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tankgotstuckinthecircusgate · 7 months

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big compilation some of doc ock x rosie fantasy au art bc this story is dear to me

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maegalkarven · 19 days

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A future fic carcass I'll write when I write (after I finish 9 ungoing fics)

King Viserys dies at the wedding celebration of his daughter, Crown Princess Rhaenyra Targaryen.

No one else does.

I am a firm believer Otto and Viserys are the rot on the face of the House of the Dragon and without these two everything would be fine-ish.

Unfortunately, we need Vissy T for his kids to be born, so Viserys dies soon after Aemond is conceived. Sorry, Daeron, not this time.

Joffrey doesn't die because he doesn't manage to provoke Criston before the king dies.

Rhaenyra overrules his father's decision and marries Harwin Strong.

Their son Jacaerys Targaryen is the heir to the throne, Lucerys Targaryen is the heir to Harrenhal.

Daemon marries Laena and lives at Dragonstone (Rhaenyra grants him that), their firstborn is the heir of Driftmark.

Laenor joins the Queensguard and is sent to Dragonstone to protect Prince Daemon (ha) and his future heirs.

Criston Cole becomes the Commander of City Watch while still retaining his white cloak (what? He did it in canon, can do it here).

Rhaenyra removes Tyland Lannister as the master of ships and appoints Corlys Velaryon (back).

When Baela and Rhaena are born, it is decided to betroth Prince Aegon and Lady Baela, making him future lord-consort of Driftmark (and successfully removing him out of succession of the iron throne).

When Jace is born, his and Helaena's betrothal is announced.

Baelon is born without an issue and the royal family meets at the celebration on Dragonstone, where Aemond claims Cannibal and loses an eye in the process.

(Kinslayer, everyone. It fits).

Afterwards Luke is sent as a ward to Harrenhal with his father. A huge ass scene ensures there Luke clings to Aemond and refuses to go.

Aegon makes a greasy comment and gets punched.

Both Aegon and Baela are sent as wards to Driftmark.

Lucerys still leaves.

Harrenhal doesn't burn bc even if Larys kills Harwin and Luke, there's still Lyonel and Joffrey in the equation. Lyonel keeps serving Queen Rhaenyra as her Hand.

Years later the royal family meets at the wedding celebration of Baela and Aegon, where Luke and Aemond behave very much like Rhaenyra and Daemon at Rhaenyra's not happened wedding.

Rhaenyra and Alicent clutch at their pearls, Rhaenyra suggests father died because of seeing something like that.

Daemon asks if she implies they killed Viserys, then asks where is Baelon.

Laena replies Baelon is playing knights with Joffrey.

Rhaenyra and Harwin Strong (no) have three more children, Aegon, Viserys and Visenya, all silver-haired like their mother (her uncle).

Laena is fine with it, they have a poly. Laena doesn't have more children because Baelon's birth was a ghasty one.

Baelon claims the Grey Ghost.

Otto is never called back to the capital because (suprise!) Rhaenyra didn't rush to kill her 3 y.o brother or the other one who was born after Viserys' death. Instead she marries Aegon off so he's no threat.

Aemond eventually joins the Queensguard and is appointed to the future lord of Harenhall.

Lucerys refuses to marry and appoints his brother Viserys as his heir, who marries Visenya. They have a very good life in Harrenhal.

The reason Luke skips over Joffrey is because Joffrey is always at the sea (with Baelon), and Aegon the Younger is bethrothed to Baela and Aegon the Elder' firstborn, Laena.

Everyone lives happily ever after, Otto gets to be the head of the house Hightower after he successfully plots against his own kin, since his blood is secured on the throne, if in unconventional for him way.

He once tried to manipulate Aegon, but was cut off sharply by Rhaenys and Corlys, who kind of adopted the boy as theirs.

Aegon enjoys wandering about Essos very much, he, of course, whores around, but he and Baela have an agreement. One of Baela's children is born from Alyn of Hull, but no one is any wiser, since everyone just thinks the child looks like her.

Jacaerys and Helaena have three kids, Jaehaerys and Jaehaera and then Maelor.

Jaehaera is oldest and so is the heir.

Oh, and Rhaena is happily married to Corwyn Cobray. They have a daughter, Rhaenys.

#hotd #hotd au #queen rhaenyra #hotd fanfic #fuck viserys #i will write it one day bc i have such a vivid image of the scenes such as: viserys' death. rhaenyra overruling her father's decision #explaining it and trying to mediate it so Corlys wouldn't start another war #'i thought it was in the tradition for the king or queen to marry their hand's child'#the greens' FACES at that #rhaenyra gathering Laenor and his entire fam and suggesting queensguard #“but then he won't be able to wed a woman. have a family-”#-exactly *Rhaenyra and Laenor lock gases. she nods. he nods.* -i accept #Aemond just fucking WANDERING AWAY TO CLAIM THE SCARIEST ASS DRAGON THAT IS THERE #the total panic then Laenor finds him and brings back with EYE LESS. (he almost got to the castle but fainted mid way)#corlys trying to push for baelon as the heir and laena&rhaenys being: “NO”#the unspoken kinship in the house of whoring around. Harwin being like “i support my wife's wrongs” and loving egg vis and visenya as his #NO ONE KNOWING THEY'RE NOT HIS. LIKE LEGIT THEY COULD BE HIS OR HARWIN'S. EVEN RHARNYRA DOESN'T KNOW #aegon living his best life as a sailor and explorer #Aemond looking at Laenor and being like “i can do that too”#laenor living THE BEST LIFE by his sis and her husband/his friend's side. and Joffrey is ALIVE #criston eventually getting over himself and accepting that Rhaenyra indeed couldn't run away with him #like imagine if they run away and then vissy t died #whoops i guess #also i just realized i accidentally made it so that Harrenhal is eventually ruled not by Strongs but Daemon's kids #lmao i guess #They are Targaryens (tm) your honor #the amount of dragons they're about to have...like harrenhal has 4 just with luke aemond and visx2 #Dragonstone has 3 even if all kids scatter about #cobrays have 2 (Rhaena's and her daughters)#driftmark has at least 3 and then Laena is born and its 4

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sonego · 5 months

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gonna get personal in the tags sorryyyyy

shit i ran out of tags to use GKBKGKDKKDBJDMBMN ok rest under a read more 😭

so okay basically my doctor said sure i'll write you the prescription and also wait should i add it to your regularly taken meds page (so i can request it with a click when i run out)? and i was like yeah that'd be nice and i tried to explain that i thought i would only need for a short period of time but i still need it after many months so... but like he didn't care about the why lol

and anyway now that this has happened i'm like. gonna try to Stop doing what i was doing. there is no good reason to be in pain all the time and make my life harder when taking that dose of my med was working okay and making things considerably better. i don't need to punish myself. this is like so so so hard for me to internalize. being disabled is not a fault. even if it might be my "fault", even if i lowkey feel like i might have contributed to the condition i am in with like, bad choices or whatever, it's still not right to punish myself for it. i'm already unwell, i'm already suffering, what's making it worse gonna do to help? why do i need to feel worse just so i can think i got what i deserve for being in pain in the first place?

so yeah. going back to the higher dose. i hope that makes me feel less pain. i hope i can work without hating every second of it again. i do still hope one day i can get better and not need this med anymore, it's not like i've given up on that bc tbh a lot's still unclear and i will try and see if i can find answers. but in the meantime, no more punishing myself. i need to be okay. i want to be okay.

#called my doctor the other day #bc i needed the prescription for the muscle relaxant i take for my back pain #and i've been needing it for like a while but i kept putting off calling him to get it #there's a few reasons for that one of which is that i hate phone calls in general but especially w doctors #just makes me v v anxious #which is related to another reason which is that i was so scared he'd tell me no bc this was was supposed to be a temporary “fix”#like a little help while i actually got better #which clearly hasn't happened so i still need it but like. i am so used to doctors trying to like decide what i need #not based on my symptoms and needs and what i tell them but just what they think i SHOULD need #bc i SHOULDN'T feel pain i SHOULDN'T need to take that i should just idk excercise and lose weight and try not to be s*icidal and try to #control my moods and oh i shouldn't have headaches almost daily cause they found no medical reason for it #also have i tried sleeping more? have i tried not having insomnia? have i tried smaller doses of x med?#etc etc it's never what i AM experiencing it's what i SHOULD be experiencing. and let me tell you that sucks so bad #my previous gp ruined me so bad and i'm only now realizing it #like every time i need to tell or ask my current gp something i get so anxious bc i'm convinced he'll put up a fight and say no without #listening or he'll write me the wrong prescription or he won't even answer my calls ...........#instead this gp is the opposite #maybe even like. too easily says yes lmao 😭 like i try to talk things thru w him a bit to explain why i need x and he'll just be like #yeah sure here it is and sometimes i feel he's not even listening 🧍🏻#but anyway like. i was kinda punishing myself i think?#i keep trying to lower my dose of muscle relaxant bc i think i shouldn't need it #and i don't want to need it i actually HATE that i need it. it makes me so mad w myself #so i keep trying even if every time i take less i am in so much pain #and these past couple of weeks? or something i did that even more bc i tried to lower it EVEN MORE #even if the 5th attempt to lower it a bit was unsuccessful and i was doing so badly #bc i was running out and i was killing two birds with one stone by trying to lower it so i would be a Better Stronger Nico #and was delaying having to call my doctor #end result: i wanna cry every time i stop (workiny #working* or studying or giffing or doing Whatever)#bc i'm forced to think of the fact i am in pain

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nateriverswife · 3 months

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again,,, the ghost notifications are driving me a bit crazy. i wonder if any of them are people who comment and now they think i am ignoring them because they don't realise they are shadowbanned;;;;

#really. i always try to reply to everyone but tumblr is a bitch #d.exe #it's even worse when they are inbox notifications #i still have to work on the 11 i have lmao sorry but it's just that #i know that when i sit down to reply to them and they are quite complex to answer - i totally lose the track of time and end up staying #on the pc for even 6 hours and that's not healthy;; and i can't afford it rn that i have to think about my thesis #and find an apprenticeship somewhere before October and i already sent out an applications and #i am waiting for them to reject me - which is sure to happen cuz i just realised that it's the italian public administration and #they won't take someone who's not italian yk #and i am not sure if i can send it somewhere else thru the uni system cuz no one explains shit and i don't want to cause confusion #whatever. this is just me rambling

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creepykuroneko · 11 months

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Whenever I see asian, brown, and/or black Americans reinforcing, supporting, and upholding racism, colonization, imperialism, colorism, and any other belief system that not only harms them directly but other non-white communities as well and they still want to claim that they themselves are POC and face discrimination I feel bitter disgust towards them.

#yeah I know the oppression Olympics aren't real #everyone has their own problems #but the way so many Asian Americans contribute to colonization of the USA #refuse to admit they are guilty of anti-black racism and won't even acknowledge the Native American genocide really upsets me #then of course there's the colorism that every single Community is guilty of #don't even need to explain that one #the fact that my fellow brown people are also guilty of anti-black racism is upsetting as I feel we should be allies #and let's be honest there are black Republicans out there #whether it be through self-hatred or combination of multiple factors a lot of black people don't want to see other black people succeed #plus I've seen my share of black people on the Internet Posting pictures of themselves in red face for Halloween or #talking about how if Pocahontas was real she would be a black woman #fucken really?#plus many middle class and higher Asian Americans and African Americans don't want to acknowledge who's stolen land theyre living on #i 100% agree African-American should receive reparations from the US government #but I see people talking about how they deserve to have a plot of land and that makes me uneasy #of course there was that whole Asian American vs African American violence during the covid shutdowns #white supremacist love to see anyone who is not white tear each other down because it makes their job easier #I know we have our history between all of us that has left scars that never healed #I just find it so sad that we as a whole are still tearing each other down instead of trying to do better #I don't know how to properly explain this without going into a long ass historic rant #plus I don't want to #no energy #just wanted to get some thoughts out of my head

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charlotterenaissance · 11 months

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🎭🪠📰

🎭Favorite sketch where the kids play themselves? oh the scott-bot sketch for sure! so many parts i love: the scott-bot ripping off bellini's towel only for him to have another towel underneath, kevin bursting in with a ripped sweater, mark's scared acting, the fact that scott built a robot because he was still tired from his vacation, scott fighting the robot in his robe and with the wrong remotes... it's a gem

🪠Favorite one-off character? scott's detective character from the katnapped sketch. that's a great sketch already, but there's something just really fascinating about the peter prince character that i just can't get enough of. also some of scott's best work, in my opinion

📰Have you watched News Radio? i have not! but i plan to! my girlfriend used to watch it and she really hyped it up for me. i recently found seasons one and two at a second-hand store, and my sister got me season three for my birthday. once i get it the last couple seasons on dvd i am blowing through it

#thank you for the ask!#it was a toss-up between the scott-bot sketch and the one where scott says he's in love with the troupe #because while they're messes individually together they make up the perfect guy #but i've got a soft spot for the scott-bot one if only because the punchline of mark of all of them to be the “not even he is safe” one #is truly funny in a way i can't explain #also i don't care how used it is #trying to do something with a remote and you just can't find the right one and you end up turning off the program you're in #will never not be funny to me #katnapped i won't shown at my funeral because i think it sums everything about me up #the reveal that Kitty isn't this old woman's cat but just some chick tickled me to no end #and scott's performance is mwah chef's kiss amazing #and i really want to find all of news radio on dvd before i watch it #i like the thrill of discovery and finding stuff like that in the wild #thanks again i had a blast answering #the kids in the hall #ask game

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lexpressobean · 1 year

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Friendly reminder that no matter how much you think you like a celebrity or a popular tumblr user or someone in close proximity to you irl

Being Good at Something

does not mean

that person is Inherently a Good Person.

They are still a stranger. And if you don’t know someone personally, you cannot honestly judge their character. Just their actions and appearances.

If you do not know someone personally, you cannot honestly judge their character. Just their actions and appearances.

#lextalkstothevoid #i can probably explain more but i won't #it's mad boi hours #kinda like sad boi hours #but instead of wanting to cry #i want to fight someone #multiple people even im so goddamn awake #i also really fucking hate fanatic and fan behavior #there is something so infuriatingly pathetic about giving your all to defend your object of obsession #while trying to destroy someone else for something as trivial as having a slightly different opinion #the kicker is that no one in that scenario has ever met and probably never will #like what is that

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chaos-in-bright-pink-hair-dye · 2 years

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Why killjoys use masks and their development

At first they served as one would expect, purely to hide the wearers identity. This was one of the main reasons why everyone wore them even when the war was still hidden behind the horizon and BL/Ind was barely grasping at it's power. After the war and after the city hid behind walls and locked it's citizens inside, masks were more about protecting the wearer's family than the person themselves, they confused the algorithms and when the computer can't recognize your face and match it with your identity in it's database it can't tie you to illegal activities which means you can protect your close ones even when you can't be with them personally, when you're outside scrambling to survive under the scorching sun while they're waiting for you at the diner table with already cold meal. At this point the masks were nothing fancy, any cloth, plain domino mask or old carnival mask did the job and that's what mattered.

With the zones becoming more and more toxic as a direct fallout of the war full head masks and helmets with filters and sun rays protection became widely popular. Plain gas mask was your best grab but motorcycle helmets were also good enough.

This was long before the outcasts even thought of calling themselves killjoys and the rebellion was still on the edge of it's birth but as it goes even masks and helmets had to become part of fashion and so crazy colourful designs representing the wearers personality and name became the heat. Perhaps that did quite a bit for messing with the computers as well but who cared the old days were too far gone to hang onto safety.

Only long after all this happened the belief that your soul can be tied to a physical object such like a mask arose in minds of the people lost in endless sand. Perhaps in the beginning The Phoenix Witch wasn't roaming the lonely dunes, perhaps she was born from the electric waves and unheard prayers, perhaps she was there all along but the teenage martyrs didn't need a god to cry out to but now she's the main point behind it all.

#idk if anyone ever talked about masks beyond the soul part so here's my bit of cyber security to throw into the rink #also I visited the Ars Electronica center where you can play with some face recognition algorithms #which was definitely the main motivation for me to finish this post even thought it's been in my drafts for over a month #to explain it quickly you draw a face and the three algorithms try to recognize it #while your aim is to draw a face we can recognize but the ai can't #and it's so fucking difficult the computer is so good at it it's scary #I got rid of two of them pretty quickly but I didn't manage to get rid of the last one no matter what #and even though I'm deeply fascinated as the huge nerd I am it is terrifying as well #such a shame I don't have photos of my drawing in the beginning and end because it was a wild ride #anyway i won't annoy you with my computer nerdiness #you can go try it out on your own it was fun #my posts #killjoys #ttlotfk #ttlofk #danger days

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vullcanica · 7 months

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I've been thinking a little bit today, re: Avita, morality and love. Namely, how she makes a clean separation between the two and how she operates and makes her choices based on that.

To start with she's a woman with completely neutral moral innerworkings. It has nothing to do with alignment charts or what have you, I'm talking about the general basis of the morality of judgement and action, which ideally functions on neutrality and which posits all are born deserving of the same treatment. In any verse Avita is a firm believer in this. She approaches everyone with the same consideration, believing they are owed it. Yet she's capable of loving the morally reprehensible who act in opposition to that worldview. One would think this clashes with or even entirely negates her fundamental ethics but it doesn't. She maintains a complete mental separation between love and morality. They're two different, independently operational compasses that she follows on a case by case basis.

It's why she does not need love or even partiality to act morally and does not heed morality when she loves. Her type of easy kindness, acceptance and borderline heroism might get confused for deep empathy or compassion and suggest that she feels, relates to or even cares about everyone around her but at its core it's simply the unbreakable belief in equal merit by birth. That all creatures come into existence equally entitled to life, survival, freedom, respect, honesty and basic kindnesses. None above the other. Love itself, the concept of it, comes into direct conflict with those ethics - its very nature suggests partiality. So it is kept entirely separate. She does not need to love or even particularly like someone to treat them morally. Her kindness isn't only reserved to a select few. It's a much stronger sentiment and far more consistent an altruism than one borne of her emotional compulsions would have been.

((The other edge of the sword: She doesn't need to hate someone to harm them either. She could feel bad or remorseful for them and still choose to not let that move her. Yes, she's empathetic, there is an emotional compulsion there, but she allows it to play little part in her opinions and decision-making. Empathy is NOT morally charged and never will be.))

And then there's love.

And though love is separate from her moral views, it always reigns far above them.

The brightest example of this: In all verses Avita loves her fathers unconditionally regardless of their amorality, ruthlessness and infamous renown. They are her family, come hell or high water, and that is an immutable fact of her person that all who befriend or come to love her must accept in some capacity.

She experienced the best of them, yes, but was never spared their true nature either, nor lied to. Therefore her love for them is full, sincere, genuine and not exclusive of their darker sides. She spent her upbringing lovingly surrounded by the morbid and macabre and moralities and ideologies she did not end up growing into. In fact, her natural traits were nurtured fearlessly in such an independent household, even though her fathers did not possess them. That's the love she was surrounded by and the love she gives. She's capable of looking past differences, vast though they may be, and places no moral conditions on those she cares for.

#𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐎𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑 ‒ avita ║ HEADCANONS #me trying to explain how she operates like 'yes she's an absolute sweetheart but not for the reasons you think'#she won't help you because she likes you. she'll do it because it's the right thing to do. and because you're deserving of help.#but god. does she have her obvious extreme biases #anyone trying to romance her gl your inlaws are war criminals and you'll have to deal with it #the best dads a girl could hope for though 😌#i will say #in addition #all of this does (up to a point) also inform her firm irreligiosity in all verses. even ones where gods existing is common knowledge #following a faith is stifling to her at best #she acknowledges deities and may even appeal to some for favours but follows no teachings nor conventions set by those beings #something inhuman influencing the tenets of human morality is an absolute no-go for her. the mere attempt to do so makes her suspicious #i'll also talk at some point about her not believing in working to 'earn' love either. but that's an entirely different topic...#anyway yeah #something something the dictatorship of the heart even above logical creatures or whatever that guy said

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emdotcom · 11 months

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You. Nuance now.

You can like shit that has problematic shit in it, without being a bad person. You don't have to give me a list of EVERY bad thing a piece of media you enjoy does, & why it's bad, but it DOES help to be mindful of that shit. You're allowed to enjoy your bad thing. You don't have to explain it or qualify it to anyone -- you know it's bad, we all know it's bad.

That said, if you watch something with bad shit, people will indeed judge you, or want you to not talk about your thing, or may even avoid you/block you for posting about it. While I know that feels bad, it's just a fact, bud. Those people don't directly want to hurt you, they just feel real strongly, & I think they're allowed to feel that, & I think they're allowed to act on that, to a certain point.

FURTHERMORE, there is a fucking line that you do not, do not, do NOT cross! Where that is will be different for most people, & fuzzy for all. For me, I can tolerate a lot of shit, but another person may not. I also think there is a definitive line you don't cross, which is media that is actively hurting somebody. I find it helpful to ask, "Is consuming this thing harmful? Can I hurt somebody this way?" I.E. you buy the queen terf antisemitism & transphobia game, beaming money DIRECTLY into the queen terf 's bank account, which sh has publicly, VERBALLY said she treats as a person accepting her shit beliefs, & she will then use the money to lobby horrendous bills. You are not enjoying garbage, at this point. You are actively doing something wrong, & you fucking know it, & I don't have the time nor the desire to waste another single goddam breath on telling you that any further.

I am not saying that you are required to go invest in problematic things. I am not saying you need to see something you KNOW will upset you. I am saying you are allowed to keep a list of media that you will never, ever touch, that you hate enough that you will not even talk to somebody about it. I am saying you can block a person over liking a piece of shit media you fucking hate. I am saying you can have a list of things that bug you so badly, that you immediately drop something just for having it, & you don't have to qualify anything on that list to me, or explain why -- you can just avoid that thing -- that's just fine. I am saying you can like something with bad shit in it, & I promise you do NOT need to give me a 5k words essay on why it's bad -- this isn't school, you're not getting Oops I Like Something Bad 😞😔 homework.

I am saying you are human. You are meat & bone, with a bit of electricity running through it. You are fallable. You are allowed to like something that isn't good. You do not have to be forever pure, forever flawless marble, because you are not made of stone, & even if you were, marble is worn down & away, with time. Nothing is infallible or perfect, in this world, & that's nice, actually.

I'm also saying, what a fucking miserable way to go through life, seeing everything that is not perfectly pristine as a sin, as a crime, as something that even an association with makes you guilty. There's so many things to see, to read, to watch, to share, & you're being FUCKING CATHOLIC ABOUT IT??? DO I NEED TO REPENT?? FOR LIKING SOMETHING NOT 10000% CLEAN?? SHOULD I PAY MY FUCKING TITHES OR JUST GET THE LASHES. GRABS YOU. MAIMS.

#gale chatter #YES i am mad #discourse #vent #hey if you come onto this post to explain why you like the transphobic wizard game I'm just gonna block you okay?#i will just. fucking block you. & move on with my day. because i hate you #harry potter ment #jkr ment #THIS IS NOT. ABOUT THAT. THIS IS ABOUT LIKING ELFEN LIED. THIS IS ABOUT WATCHING TRIGUN. THIS IS ABOUT READING. HOMESTUCK.#this is about watching old films that have words you don't & won't ever use #this is about finding comfort in discomfort & being mortal #this is about being insane about your favorite little dumpsterfire & being a gourmet trash consumer #this is about whatever. about nothing. about everything to a certain point #I'd like to further state i previously had such a mindset that i would drop anything that ever had even the smallest bump & never touch it #but tbh. i ran out of new shit to like pretty quick & jt was a miserable way to go into every new thing #just kinda hoping this one would be normal about its female characters #& once i started actively seeking out garbage & admitting i have shit taste & like bad things i had more fun.#i found like. new shit i loved that i previously wouldn't have even touched #& i think that's fun & i wish people would try such a thing

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if-th3n-else · 11 months

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On the topic of pride flags, so far be it in Berlin, Brussels or Amsterdam I've seen so many more of them than in France! But then I remember that every time someone in a city decide to paint a crosswalk or a public bench rainbow colours it gets vandalized the very next night and we have to bear for a week all the right wing party about the "LGBT lobby" and le wokisme™

#misc #amanda trip in amsterdam #the wokisme is sending me really #like it comes directly from the us #and the people who are called woke never claimed it #it's literally the far right who read one republican article on woke people #and they decided to apply it to everything as an insult #but you can call me 'islamogauchiste woke' anyday it's better than to be a racist queerphobic pos #i won't even try to explain 'islamogauchisme' to non french people because 🤦🤦🤦#anyway it's good to be in neighbouring countries that do better

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waterparksdrama · 2 years

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pink is about otto??

well it sure as hell isn't about grace - iz

#really it's more of a theory and awsten has stated multiple times (even as recent as last year)#that pink is not about a lesbian #and he flat out refuses to explain that song anytime someone brings it up #also supposedly one time on a geoff stream when someone asked why they don't play pink anymore he mentioned #otto not wanting to play the drums for it (main reason that's been brought up since 2016) but also (allegedly) said #'we won't get into it. it's complicated.'#so. yeah. complicated complicated and if i try explaining more it gets into rpf territory which i won't do (unironically) here

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jooyeone · 2 years

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#apparently this is where i vent about this now bc i can't bear to call a friend and verbalize everything xx #ok . matching a man's anger i can do #but having to sit there quietly and calmly trying to explain how and why violence is Bad™️ and why women are inherently fucking terrified #of male anger and violence #without so much as showing an OUNCE of emotion because you know that the second you appear emotional or hurt by it you lost the fight #because the man will just stop fucking listening to you and taking you seriously #having to do all that for 45 minutes while he tries to ARGUE LOGICALLY WITH ME that #if i actually fear him ever going further than that with his violence then i don't know him at all and it's actually all my fault #therefore HE is the one insulted and needing an apology .#having to sit there. and explain Violence = Terrifying to a man who thinks i should apologize to HIM for fearing it in the first place .#and the fact that i went in JUST asking for an apology and all i got was #''i can't change i hope you know that and you aren't asking that of me.''#..and the ONLY way this conversation could even move forward is if i agreed with him on this. which i had to do <3 #it's the 'not even gonna bother trying' for me ... while women will readjust their entire fucking lives around your anger.#willdelete #i literally don't know where to go from here i despise that i even have the patience for these conversations #>knowing< they will never amount to anything bc if they don't want to see themselves in the wrong they just won't!!!!!#no matter how articulate and calm and logical you are

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skrunksthatwunk · 1 year

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pulled aside by my father to watch a homophobic k&p sketch and just had to sit there like 😬 and then when i explained it was homophobic he was like "i fear for your sense of humor". christ alive

#look idk anything about k&p maybe they've gotten better. not the point #it's the one where there's a pop duo singing a love song to a crowd of women and one of them keeps coming onto the other guy despite him #being obviously uncomfortable for like. two minutes. and then when the queer guy gets too into it and starts singing about the other #artist's bald head he backpedals and starts singing about being cartoonishly straight #thats the whole thing #the joke is 1. gay guy can't catch a hint and makes straight guy uncomfortable by hitting on him or expressing interest in him #(classic homophobic joke. probably don't need to explain that)#2. when everyone realizes what's going on gay guy stumbles back into the closet in an over the top way #and when i pointed out point 1 to my dad he was like 'i fear for your sense of humor'#im gonna shit bricks #[father's first name] [father's last name] be fucking normal for one second challenge (possible but he's a proud asshole so he won't do it)#i spent so long haha yeahing my problems with what they did away that now whenever i challenge them even slightly and see that they #will not reflect and will not change it's wild. i explained why this was homophobic (less clearly than here but still) and he was like. :/#youre no fun. like ok i actually tried and it Is That Bad. sheeshhhh #the answer is probably to keep trying until they get it bc they think they like queer people but that's. a lot.#(they in this case = my parents. just switched into a broader rant without warning my b)#he rewound it when my mom came out and when it seemed like i was gonna leave too so like... idk what that was about but it feels very #'now that our gay kid's out of the room. cishet wife with a similar sense of humor to me do you think this is homophobic?' to me #and hey maybe that'll be productive and reflective but uh. historically speaking? probably not.#i feel like im not doing enough to make them less shitty or at leaat to stick up for me n my brothers so i gotta keep going and doing more #and theyre not the worst people ever really. so i should do my part so to speak. but man it fucking blows is all #they're so annoyingggg #also why does he talk like that who does that. i mean. i do. but it's bad when he does it #and they ARE capable of change. i had to argue for trans people existing years ago and now they act like that never happened #(granted i was arguing from a cis transmedicalist perspective back then but like. still. (i have grown since age 13 if you can believe it))#so theyre pro trans in a superficial kinda way. which is something. i just wish they'd acknowledge that they were wrong literally ever #it's happened once that i can think of. twas my dad #theyre like emotional and ideological brick walls it's insane #ugh. god gives his most frustrating softcore bigoted parents to his swaggiest gay transsexuals i guess #man what a post to be making soon after the daig o one. what a coincidence that that post materialized with no influence from my life haha

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eggmeralda · 2 years

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reading about expressive language disorder and maybe it's an explanation as to why I've never formed a full sentence in my whole life :')

#^above is literally a full sentence but that's not the point #it's still a mess of a sentence i guess #can't form a sentence without saying i guess and stuff it's like yeah but anyway all that sort of thing and like you know etc.#and i always don't know the names of objects so i just call everything a guy or a lad with some vague hand gesture #and i have never been able to easily write an essay in my whole life #and i can never hold a conversation #and i always thought it was just bc of no internal monologue but I've heard of other people who also don't have one and they can still talk #maybe this explains why i barely spoke from age 16-18 and even now i'm known for being relatively quiet #bc if i say something it'll be an incoherent ramble #not a single thought in my head <3 #this is a revelation though omg #i guess in the past few years I've become more confident with talking but it's bc I've just given up trying to make sense so now i just #idk but i just won't say the names of things I'll just point at them or i'll mix tenses up and stuff #also atm i'm basically just putting all the thoughts in these tags as they're appearing for a split second in my head so this is incoherent #but yeah anyway idk if i actually have expressive language disorder itself #but i definitely have Something #i'm thinking of other messed up language stuff like how for the past almost decade i've mixed up words and pronunciations from #other languages like the ones i learnt at school #which i cannot speak but i now know random words #so sometimes i'll just get the urge to pronounce something as it would be in spanish or whatever #and also after a while i'll just get bored of the sensation of saying a certain word so i'll change it. spice it up a bit #especially if it's a word i say a lot #so like names of characters i hyperfixate on get absolutely butchered on purpose #*looking at entry swig rokey unn bytirr 27 teed dav aoodry and bianpolay rn*#anyway this is an absolute ramble and completely going with the theme of this post i do not what i'm supposed to be saying #so i'll end it there #but anyway i love a midnight revelation <3 #ramble

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tklpilled · 2 years

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sorry i cant shut up about how i hate him i have to cancel out all the people who do like him /j

#i dont get it!! i really dont!!#i especially dont get the people who ship him and deku #coming from someone whose current favourite ship is dazai and chuuya: that is an abusive relationship lmao #i saw a post trying to explain how they werent and then like most of their points were about deku. bro hes not the abusive one #and then the ones that were about bakugou were just like. really shitty tbh #like they were just small things?? and you can tell they dont know what abuse is like bc abusers literally can be nice sometimes #they arent assholes all of the time #i mean bakugou is but he's just kinda. like that #but anyway before you call me a hypocrite theres a Huge difference between trying to kill each other consensually #(which okay that sounds bad but idk how else to describe them LMAO)#and genuinely being a dick to someone for no reason #even if abusive is too harsh of a term for you. they still are very much not healthy #maybe he gets better!! idk im not finished!! but i dont think i could ever ship them because bakugou has been like this their whole lives #even if he changes (which im not sure he does but again i dont know) it still won't erase. all of that #overall i really dont care if you like him i just dont understand you <3 /lh #kaz speaks

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