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tumbleweed-run · 9 months

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It's been brought to my attention that certified oral king, Gale Dekarios hasn't received in forever. And you know what, you're so right. There's exactly a zero percent chance that Mystra got on her knees, celestial or otherwise, for this man. Honestly I imagine there's a whole lot that she would do and yet demanded a whole lot of.

( shout out to @daiya-owoda )

(nsfw below)(holy cannoli this got long... apparently I just really want to do this)

Gale would be hesitant when you brought it up. This would definitely be a "conversation first" act, because any time you'd try to reciprocate he'd gently redirect you.

Not for lack of wanting (gods does he want) the idea of your lips wrapped around his cock genuinely breaks him for a few moments. But he's determined to make you feel good, maybe he's still trying to prove he's worth it for you to stick around - no matter how often you assure him that he's everything you want.

The first time he agrees, won over by your pleading to just let you focus on him, it's done in a very uneventful space. The tent late at night when your companions are either asleep or know enough to fake it.

He's anxious enough that you check in once, twice, three times to make sure he really does want this.

He nods, swallowing heavily, eyeing you knelt between his bare spread legs. "Yes, I just don't wish to make you feel as though you have to. I don't expect everything I do to be returned, in fact if you-"

You cut him off with a kiss, leaning back up over him. As much as you love his babbling if he keeps going right now you know you'll find yourself angrier at a goddess than you should while your partner is half naked in front of you.

Half because while you coaxed off his pants and shoes you realized he might feel more comfortable in this moment if the soft velvet tunic was left on.

Your kiss seems to relax him, or distract him. He relaxes back onto his elbows.

You let your kisses trail off down his beard and then tracing the lines of his tattoo until it disappears beneath the embroidered collar. The velvet still smells of old books and sea breezes. You've seen him wash this many times but the scent remains. Probably magic meant to soothe his homesickness.

His hands flutter as you lower yourself between his legs. But whatever nervousness the rest of his body is demonstrating his cock doesn't seem to have gotten the message. He's hard already swollen pink head crowned with a tiny bead.

You brace your hands on his inner thighs, a warning. Before you dart your tongue out to lap at the bead of moisture. It's not really a lap, really you've just pressed your tongue into the slit.

A taste.

Gale hisses hips bucking his cock up against your tongue. As much as you'd love you let him fuck your throat, badly enough that you freeze, eyes glossy as you bring that image to the front of your mind, you know he's not ready for that. He'd feel terrible afterwards if you even managed to convince him you wanted it.

Not yet.

So instead, you pin his hips to the ground using your forearms. And you set to work.

You kiss first. The tip and then down along the shaft, pressing as much of your lips and nose against him as you comfortably can.

He's relatively quiet above you, still propped up on his elbows to watch. You don't watch him though, focused on your self appointed task.

You contemplate his balls when you reach the base. The softest kiss to the skin and his thighs flex around you. A tempting exploration, but again one for another day.

You make your way back up to the tip of his cock.

Now you look up at him as you hover just over.

Gale opens his mouth, probably to reassure you that this isn't expected. But you ignore him and finally take him into your mouth. Not far, not even halfway in.

But it's enough for Gale, who's open lips let out a sound, not quiet a moan... more guttural and deep. He can't hold your gaze and lets his head fall back.

You set to work, gently sucking... taking him further into your mouth each time. By the time your nose is buried in the thick batch of hair at his base Gale is openly moaning. His fingers grasping and releasing the furs of his bedroll beneath you.

Your focus becomes discovering what draws the sounds from him. Your tongue pressed into the slit of his cock is what finally breaks his ability to stay proper up. When you take as much into your mouth as you can, swallowing to keep yourself breathing, he finally (finally) rests a hand on your head. Not in you hair, not pushing, just resting there - grounding himself in you.

"I... you must..." Gale gasps out after a few more minutes. He never makes a full sentence but you know what he's telling you. You could tell he was close just from how hard he'd gotten, how your jaw ached.

"Please" you half whisper pulling off him.

Whatever Gale sees when he lifts his head to regard your request leaves him speechless. He nods instead.

You nearly choke yourself in an effort to swallow him down once more. Hand at his base almost kneading as you suck.

His hand in your hair tightens and a choked moan is all the warning you get before his spilling down your throat. You swallow greedily, eyes squeezed shut, forearms still pinning his hips to the ground.

The hand in your hair tugs, finally pulling you off him. He's breathing heavily, eyes staring at the roof but clearly not seeing.

You sit quietly between his legs, catching a glimpse of yourself in a small mirror he has to one side. Lips puffy and red, corners of your eyes wet from tears, and your hair blessedly mussed from his hands.

"You are the most singularly gorgeous creature," Gale says in reverent awe as he finds you looking at yourself.

#gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #gale x tav #gale x reader #i am unwell for this man #gods damned puppy eyes wizards

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jhutchissupercool · 5 months

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HOLY MOLY SCREAMING AND CRYING HACHI MACHI MAMA MIA DEREK OH EM GEE HES SO FINE OH MY WORD HE CAN YELL AT ME AS MUCH AS HE WANTS TO ILL LET HIM DO ANYTHING TO ME HOLY CANNOLI HES SO HOT

#josh hutcherson #i love josh hutcherson #derek danforth #the beekeeper #going out of my mind #im going insane #gnawing

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ms-lasagna · 3 months

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im not seeing enough people freak out over arthur bennett being a caitiff and not an actual lasombra. like i had my suspicions for a hot while, since lasombra aren’t supposed to have auspex but arthur ?? did ?? AND IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE

caitiff are *abandoned*, they don’t share the traits of their clans so they get ditched in a hole somewhere. kindred/vampires in the game aren’t meant to be entirely solitary, but the caitiff are intentionally made to be that way. but they can choose to blend in with their clan !! that’s probably why arthur has the general lasombra powers, except auspex. but why would he need auspex unless he always felt in danger and needed to read the people around him all the time ?? like mans is suffering and needs people to stick with him !!! anyways i’m just a fan of VTM and had this theory for a while, i love arthur bennett and holy cannoli does this make sense

#jrwi #the suckening #arthur bennett #just roll with it #jrwi the suckening #vampire the masquerade

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dreammeiser · 4 months

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WOW! I just discovered your DAWM characters,

And they’re SOO amazing, adorable, and creative AF!!! >w<!!!💕💕💕 My favorite characters are Earl and HoneyBelle!!! I can’t wait for more animated stuff with them!!!! 💖💖💖💖

WOW! Thank you so much holy cannoli! I'm really glad you're enjoying them, that means so much to me! :'o))) I feel like DAWM is an amalgamation of a bunch of my special interests that I rolled into one cohesive helping of cotton candy, so I am overjoyed that you like it! You'll be happy to know that some animated Earl sprites are in queue to be worked on for his own special ask session on Instagram! It's been busy over here but I am still working on that! Have a preview of one of the sketches for it~ Also if you fellas didn't know, Earl operates on cartoon/dream logic, so he can do especially silly things with his arms and legs :o)

#I am also working on an animated thing for Teddy O'Stara!#thank you for the ask!#thank you for your support and interest in general wowie wow! :oD #Early Early Oxenfree #dawm #dawm project #dream along with me #DAWM Earl #dawm asks

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darling-i-read-it · 1 year

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Muffled Laughter - Laugh Part 2

Laugh Part 1

Any!Bruce Wayne x fem!reader, Any!Joker x reader

Word Count: 2.9k

Warnings: the reader is having a lot of moral dilemmas, blood/injuries/cleaning up injuries, fighting (between bruce and the reader), let me know if I missed anything!

Author’s Note: I am keenly aware I’ve been asked to do this multiple times but I loved the first part so much that I wanted to be able to give it my full attention. I think I liked how this part turned out lots <3 Again, I personally didn’t have a batman or joker in mind! I think my joker is very comic centric and therefore vague!

Tagging those who asked for a part two in the comments here (I hope you guys don’t mind <3): @lover-of-nights, @einxoxo, @joeykissymissy, @twinkledinkle, @burningfanflowercash, @mysteriouslydeafeningwerewolf, @theitchbbbb, @b4b3ttee, @kitwalker02, @violetparis, @russian-soft-bitch (holy cannoli i didn’t realize how many people wanted a part 2 lol)

Summary: When you wake up, the Joker is gone. You’re eager to move on with your life, away from the night of neverending accidents. He however, is not.

Song: I listened to The World We Knew by Frank Sinatra an unholy amount of times while writing this

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director/creator

(not my gif)

The sun seeping through the windows seemed like a traitor. Gotham never got the sun it so direly needed. Then it would illuminate the gloomy corners, the drug deals, the robberies that littered quiet edges. Your eyes opened slowly and you almost didn’t remember what had happened to you the night before. For a moment it was just you and the sun, relishing in the feeling of it on your face, trying to remember the last time you had seen it so clearly through the window.

Then your legs started to ache again and it all came back.

The night before was long. Your hair was still wet from the shower, damp as though it was too stressed to air out. You sat up, looking around. Your small apartment room was untouched. You threw the blankets off, the cold hitting you. Goosebumps littered your legs as you walked into the hallway, entering the living room. The clock above the kitchen counter said it was only seven am. People were going to work now on this nice Thursday morning. They were getting their coffee and trudging through the streets, passing the aftermath of the night before. They had no idea why some of the roads were closed. Most didn’t care to ask. This is Gotham. They didn’t want to know.

The couch was empty. The blanket was folded. A note was on top of it. You rushed over to it, nimbly picking it up. You sat down, eyes scanning over it quickly.

Thanks for the water :)

Too another night of chaos

The note was the only proof you had housed a criminal for the night. No one would know if you shredded it and tossed it aside. You held it in your hands, like it would run away if you let it. You weren’t sure how long you sat there, rereading the short phrases, looking at the way he signed the J. This could be police evidence. He had pointed a gun at you!

You looked down at the blanket. He had slept here! You had let him sleep in your house!

It seemed even more ridiculous of a thought in the sunlight.

A knock on the door startled you out of your thoughts. You could feel your own breath again. You folded the note and tossed it onto the kitchen counter. You looked through the peephole to find Bruce, standing with a worried look on his face and his hands on his pockets. You closed your eyes tightly. To your left was your broken phone, still shattered down the middle. You opened the door a crack.

“Hey,” you murmured. You rubbed your eyes.

“Can I come in?” he asked. You pursed your lips. He didn’t feel inviting. In fact, it felt like he wanted to argue. You were too tired to argue.

“What happened to hello? Nice to see you? How are you?”

Bruce wasn’t sure how to approach the events of the night before. He had scoured the streets for you, returning home and finding you gone. He interrogated Alfred more than he had intended. A desk had been broken.

But here you were, alive, unharmed.

“It’s nice to see you,” he said deeply. You wearily opened up the door. “What happened to you last night?” “My phone broke when I was walking home.” Would you hold the rest of it to your chest? Did Bruce even deserve to know? He had left you out there by yourself and he hadn’t even come to your house to see if you were alright? “I dropped it.”

He wanted to push. Is that all? He scanned the room, the blanket on your couch. He needed to know what had happened.

“Why did you leave the manor?”

“I got tired of waiting for you.”

“You should have let Alfred call you a cab.” His voice was gentle but it made you feel like a child.

“I can take care of myself.”

“Obviously not. You broke your phone.” I saw the Joker almost kill you.

“I made it home didn’t I?” The Joker let me be.

You should’ve hidden the note better. It stuck out like a sore thumb, sitting on the kitchen counter. Bruce looked around your small apartment, wondering how often he had been in here. You always met at the manor, having no need to visit your place. He sent cars to get you. He tried not to be judgemental.

“I was worried.” You crossed your arms.

“I’m fine Bruce.” Why weren’t you telling him what really happened? He expected you to dump it all immediately, to explain that you saw Batman, ever the menacing creature, protecting you from Gotham’s worst. Why didn’t you trust him with that information?

How did you get home? You had been lost.

What happened from the time he called you and the time you went to bed?

“You said you were lost. How did you get home?”

“I found the street signs. I was just turned around.”

“Why are you lying to me?”

You bit your tongue. This was a confrontation you didn’t want to have. You shook your head.

“Leave me be Bruce. Clearly you don’t care to be home when I’m there. We’ve known it needed to come to this.”

“Come to what?” His eyes went wide. “Are you breaking up with me?”

You hadn’t wanted to. In fact, you didn’t even mean that when you spoke. You just wanted him gone and this was the quickest way to get him to do it.

“I’m fed up waiting around for you to decide I’m important to you,” you admitted. “I can’t do that anymore. I can’t see Alfred more than I see you.”

“I have responsibilities-”

“Everyone has responsibilities Bruce. You’re avoiding me.”

“Why are you lying?” he begged. You shook your head, backing away.

“Rich, coming from you. What girl has your attention on the late nights in the office Bruce? You expect me to believe that you’re always home so late because of paperwork?” It was a low blow and you knew it. You had no proof he was cheating.

You wanted him to leave but you were telling him everything else except to get out.

There was a genuine hurt over his face. He quickly washed it away.

“What happened last night?” His voice was more demanding than questioning. He needed to know how you got home. He had to know why you weren’t telling him the truth. He had never felt more like Batman with you than he did now.

“Nothing,” you said.

There was a long silence.

He backed away and out the door. He shut it quietly behind him.

You were left alone in the apartment once again, feeling like you had hidden a massive part of your life and not a ten hour period.

It was surprisingly easy not to go to the Wayne Manor that night. It felt wrong to back out of the routine but once you had, it was simple. You remained on your own couch, the TV on, the sun down once again.

You had gone out to get a new phone but called out of work.

You kept the same number, in case Bruce called. You weren’t sure what you wanted him to say. You had been rude and secretive to him and you didn’t even know if he deserved it. Your morals had been all out of whack lately and you weren’t ready to let him know that. He would scrutinize you like a psychiatrist. He would forget his own issues and pretend you were far worse, like he needed to understand the workings of your brain.

If you told Bruce Wayne you had housed a fugitive then he would turn you in. At the least, he would break up with you for good. You couldn’t blame him for it. But you weren’t sure if you were ready for that.

You pictured him staring at his phone, unsure why you were lying, wondering if you were deflecting the cheating allegations onto him because something happened. You focused on the television as your eyes drooped with exhaustion. You hadn't even cheated. Why did it feel like you had?

You were starting to drift into a light sleep when there was a violent knock on the door.

You sat up and stared at the door, willing another knock. When you were in between sleep and awake, even the most aggressive noise could seem fake. Just as it had the first time though, the knock came, longer now.

You kicked the blanket off you and dragged yourself over. Through the peephole you expected Bruce, coming to make amends.

The peephole made the Joker look distorted, more so than usual. He had his face down so you couldn’t see him but you recognized the shaky demeanor. You unlocked the door and opened it fully.

“What are you doing here?” you asked. He pushed past you into the kitchen. You shut the door slowly as he rummaged in your cabinets and pulled out a glass. He put it under the tap, filling it up with water.

His hand gripped the counter, knuckles turning whiter than usual. There was a tenseness in his back that hadn’t been there the night before. His hair was damp or greasy, hanging over his shoulders.

“Jay?”

He craned his neck to the side. You saw the side of his face. The makeup was smeared, a dark look over his features. You weren’t sure where the red paint started and the blood began. He drank the water quickly, Adam's apple bobbing.

He slammed it down onto the counter. You narrowed your eyes, still deeply unsure why he had come back here. You figured he would either want to have you killed or never see you again. A chill went down your back, wondering if he was here to kill you. That look in his eyes was not comforting.

“Needed some water,” he said darkly. You furrowed your brows.

He turned to face you completely.

You tried to suppress your gasp.

He had a large gash over the left side of his face. His shirt was torn, shreds down the front. There was blood all over him. You weren’t sure how much of it was his. He didn’t look like he was in pain but his right eye was swollen shut. He smiled, toothily, dirtily.

“I was parched.”

You were still taking it all in. You had seen some bruises and a cut once or twice but this was a whole different ball game. You approached him slowly, eyeing what seemed to be an endless amount of dark red.

“What happened?”

“Don’t stay dehydrated for too long! I’m the new poster child.” He put his hands on his hips, doing a superhero stance. He relaxed quickly, not able to keep up his ridiculous grin. You met his gaze. It softened a bit. Whatever was running the crazy wheels back there slowed.

“Can I help?”

“Well don’t just stand there.” You walked away to find a first aid kit. You felt his eyes on you as you walked, searching the cabinets. The last time you had needed it was when you had a cooking mishap. You had no idea how to fix him how he was now. “Bad guys got handsy with blowtorches today,” he explained whimsically. “You should see the other guy.”

“I’m shaking in my boots.”

“You’re not wearing shoes.” You laughed gently, shakily.

“It’s an expression.” You grabbed the box, turning back to him. He sat on the table.

“Your laugh is truly unparalleled.” You flushed and looked away.

You walked up to him and placed the first aid down, opening it up. “I don’t even know where to start.”

“People tend to start with the lips and then work their way lower darling.” You shook your head. You rummaged around as he watched you. His gaze felt intense and unwavering. You turned the tap on warm. You ran a cloth underneath it.

Finally you raised it up to his face.

“Want me to take off my shirt sweets?” He was wearing a suit, though it was hardly distinguishable anymore. He had lost the coat, all that was remaining was the button up and suspenders. Even those were hard to read with how torn up they were.

“You might have to. You hurt there?”

“You trust me to tell you? Well then I’m hurt everywhere.” You gave him a look. He smiled, that familiar exaggerated smile. To your silence he rolled his eyes. “You’re no fun.” He slid off the suspenders and warily removed his shirt. He had cuts down his chest but nothing nearly as bad as his face.

“Did the Bat do this to you?” You tried to keep your gaze on the task at hand. No need to admire him. “Some of it. He never gets as close as he’d like.” He shrugged. “His whole ‘no kill’ motto allows for plenty of play time.”

“This might hurt.”

“I can’t feel a thing.”

You started to gently dab at the cuts on his chest. He didn’t react in the slightest, allowing you to get rid of the blood.

“Why did you come back?”

You finally asked the question that had been nagging at you since you saw him through the peephole. You caught his eye only once but refused to make eye contact otherwise. He stared at you shamelessly, admiration or lust in his eyes.

“I was thirsty.” You opened your mouth to speak again.

Your phone rang.

You both looked towards the living room where it was laying on the couch beside your blanket. The TV was on a low hum. You had forgotten to turn it off. You put down the rag and walked over to it.

“That’s an annoying ringtone.”

Bruce’s face covered your screen.

“Who is it?” You hit decline and tossed it back onto the couch.

“No one.” You turned back around to the Joker and instead of facing your moral dilemmas, you picked the rag back up to clean his face. “I think I can clean this with alcohol.”

“You got any gin? Or grape juice?”

“You drink those together?”

“I’m a character.”

“You can say that again. Also, I meant rubbing alcohol.”

“I know.”

You grabbed his chin. He smiled through his pinched cheeks.

“Don’t move.”

His eyes remained on you as you started to gently rub his chin. You winced for him because he apparently had superhuman pain tolerance. The gash didn’t look as bad when you got down to it. You starred with a focused gaze, careful over his eye. His makeup smeared.

You moved back a bit to see how it looked.

You finally met his gaze.

“I intend to stay the night,” he explained. “You have a lovely home here Y/N.” You narrowed your eyes at him, unsure what he was getting at. “If only you had a more comfortable place to sleep than the couch,” he teased. “Got any ideas for me?”

You examined his face, the sly smile on his lips. You bit the inside of your cheek and looked away, breathing gently out of your nose.

“I don’t let just anybody sleep in my bed.”

“Selective. I like that in a woman.” You put some rubbing alcohol on a fresh rag.

“That phone call was from my boyfriend Bruce.”

“I don’t think cheating is beneath you,” he observed. “You’re going to house a fugitive either way sweets.” You wanted to argue but knew he was right. There was no use in arguing with someone who would win.

Bruce could come back tonight, you thought. You dismissed it. Why would he? He had never cared before.

You raised your new rag to the Jokers face. Before you could make contact he swooped in, lips crashing into yours. Your fingers extended out of surprise, dropping the rag onto the counter. He hummed against your lips.

It was almost like he was laughing.

Your phone rang again on the couch. You ignored it this time.

Final Part

#joker x fem!reader #joker x reader #bruce wayne x fem!reader #joker imagines #joker fanfiction #dc fanfiction

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spooky-circuits · 3 months

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can we get another pair of brothers meet we already got clay and jd seeing each other after 20 years, what about some bruse or floyd i will love to see how they will react to each other or the obvious (seeing as he the only one that following the snack pack) clay?

Floyd had finally found his way to vacation island thanks to the map Fuzzbert had given him. Branch had started yelling a lot about that for some reason before just sighing and admitting Floyd would need it if he wanted to find Bruce and Floyd very much did.

There were a lot of moments when Floyd had wanted to see his older brothers again. Especially on those days where he was regretting leaving home and he desperately wanted some reassurance he was doing the right thing. Hearing that his brother had a whole new family now only made him want to see him again even more.

This is how he finds himself on the beach having washed up after his raft broke apart on him. The water looked so calm he figured it would be easy but he guesses that raft building is not one of his talents. Standing up he notices himself being stared at by one of the inhabitants that’s much smaller then the rest of the people lounging on the beach. “Uh hi.” He gives what he assumes is a kid based on size a small wave. The kid gives a big smile and says. “Oh wow another troll! Daddy is going to be so happy. Do you have any candy?” Floyd looks up at the kid and goes. “Uh not on me sorry.” The kid looks disappointed at that but perks back up quickly. “That’s okay! Do you know my uncle Branch? His friends sneak me lots of candy maybe you can do that too!”

Floyds jaw drops. Uncle Branch? Than that means this is Bruce Jr. Branch had definitely forgotten to mention how big the kid was. Oh no he’s been quiet for too long better respond. “Yeah I know Branch and I’m sure I can sneak you a lolly pop or two to secure my spot as favourite uncle.” Bruce Jr tilts his head to the side. “Uncle?” Floyd is about to explain when he hears “What’s taking so long with the trash kiddo? Holy cannoli Floyd?!”

Floyd takes in the sight of his older brother. Wow he’s really changed from when they were kids but Floyd can tell he still has that self assured confidence he’s always had. “Uh hey Bruce long time no see.” Bruce smiles at him like they haven’t been apart for more then a decade. “That’s one way of putting it. Branch found you I take it? Either way it’s good to see you man.” Floyd feels a burst of joy in his chest it really is good to see Bruce again. He finally makes his way over for their reunion hug which took far too long for them to get done in both of their opinions if you asked them later.

Bruce then holds Floyd by the shoulders. “Well I’m sure Branch has told you a lot about what I’ve been up too. But I have no idea what you’ve been doing. Lets go catch up Floyd! You too Junior come meet uncle Floyd properly!” Bruce Jr looks excited likely at the potential snacks Floyd had agreed to sneak him.

Floyd is glad to be here in this moment. He wishes he had tried sooner to find his brothers but right now he’s just happy to be able to talk with his big brother. Hopefully the rest go as well as this did.

#snack attack au #trolls au

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aureli-us · 1 year

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having watched punk hazard and just rewatched stampede, we need to talk more abt how much of a literal SASSPOT smoker is. like holy cannoli this guy is just so smug sometimes it's the GREATEST thing known to man

some notable lines:

"i'm listening" (vaguely sultry, while law is explaining a plan, one boot on top of buggy)

"well, you can tell me at least" (still vaguely sultry, law still explaining plan)

"what now, genius?!" (to law while they are in total freefall)

"i can do both" (somewhat sultry? to hina when she asks him to do his job and not his super secret personal agenda)

"doesn't sound like much of a plan but what can i say" (hilarious. talking shit abt law's plan to his face)

"you little-" (to sabo after being called "smokey")

"were you trying to fly into his fist?" (upon luffy getting smacked by douglas bullet)

"can someone stop him? moron, he never learns" (affectionate, but luffy getting smacked again)

"i'm so sick of running from this crap" (on punk hazard running from the poison gas for the 80th time)

"undone by your own powers, huh? that is some record-breaking stupidity" (stuck in the cage in punk hazard w law. this one is GENUINELY MY FAVORITE, ITS SO OUT OF POCKET)

"quiet, dumbass! stupid pirates, don't you realize the gravity of the situation here?" (to luffy. need i say more)

"QUIT YOUR BITCHING! YOU FOOLS COULDN'T STEAL CANDY FROM A BABY! you're not even worth suspecting🙄" (yelling at the G-5, one of my fav lines as well)

"you don't get to lecture me on the law" (i can't remember this one verbatim but towards the start of PH, aimed at the G-5)

- calls pretty much everyone younger than him (aka everyone) a "punk"

- says "crap" a lot bc PG-13 but absolutely means "shit". please let him say shit. just ONCE

- also lots of "well, damn" or "i'll be damned", sometimes in just the most (un)impressed voice and it makes me giggle

he probably has some zingers in loguetown and elsewhere (maybe his brief appearance in marineford) but these are all i can think of for now. anyway please spread smug smoker far and wide and never forget how insanely sassy this 36 year old dilf is

#one piece #smoker marry me #smoker one piece #hes just like me for real #hes so funny and we dont talk about it enough #aurelius and one piece #i've been trying to keep his natural sass in the fic i'm writing but who knows #vice admiral smoker

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faegoddessog · 9 months

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Fantasy Come True Ch 4/8

Chapter 4: Ruin your Dinner

Chapter Warnings: Explicitly mature content, 18+ only, fingering, masturbation, cum eating,

Series Summary: Breaking into the acting world has been a life long dream. It's been tough, plus your relationship with you partner has some struggles, but who doesn't have struggles. A new guy shows up to your improv classes who seems strangely familiar. He seems rather interested in you and you feel unusually comfortable around him, like he projects calm and reassurance. Once you realize who he really is, and what he really likes... it's game on.

SERIES WARNING: Explicitly mature content, 18+ only, here there be lemons.

A/N: This little gem is per request for the lovely and talented @purejasmine . It's been a collaborative project designed to meet her every Austin need as best I can. Here's to you darling! <clink> I hope ya'll enjoy reading it as much as I have enjoyed the creative process with parameters not wholly my own!!

Here is the Masterlist of this series.

Message me if you'd like to be added to the list!

Chapter 4: Ruin your Dinner

Your eyes flutter open, you have no idea how much time has passed on the surprisingly comfortable rug, of course it could just be Austin’s arms. Which, you realize, are still around you. You hear his deep breathing. You take a deep breath and just snuggle down into him. No need to break this spell.

You lay there, reliving every moment of your sex-a-thon with Austin, burning it into your brain. Getting impossibly turned on again. You breathe in his scent, one that few people probably could boast getting to smell. A mix of his skin, that woody lavender scent, and the tang of his cum. Jesus, this man makes you so fucking sexual, it’s ridiculous. You try to suppress a giggle.

He inhales deep, stretching his body.

“Hey Princess, you alive?” he hugs you close.

“Uh huh, and filthy and hungry,” you hug him back.

“Honey, I can fix those things for you if you give me a minute,” he sits up realizing that he is sticky too, then his stomach growls. “Apparently I am in the same boat. What do you want first, a shower or dinner?”

“Oh the shower for sure,” that is a no-brainer.

“Ok, I don’t have a lot here to eat, at the moment, Would you like to order in before showering? My treat.” he says with a smile. He leans in close to you, ”you can order all the things and we can appease your whorish,” he kisses you,” little,” another kiss, “tastebuds.” His mouth latches onto yours for a deep and passionate kiss. “Pizzana sounds fucking amazing right now,” you comment when he lets you up for air.

“Tell me what you want darling and I’ll have it all here in no time,” he reaches for his phone.

He pulls up the menu, then realizes it’s easier to just hand you the phone. You order pretty much the whole antipasti menu: Broccolini, Caprese Di Bufala, Carciofi Arrostiti, Polpette Al Forno. You decide what the hell and order the entire insalate menu too, (you can never have too much salad!) Cavoletto Di Bruxelles Chop salad, Ceasare with Wood Fired Chicken added and the Tricolore salad. You calm down on the pizzas only ordering the Carnivoro, Cacio E Pepperoni with Cremini Mushrooms, Funghi with Cetara Anchovy and the Spinaci with Prosciutto Di Parma And of course you must have dessert! All the desserts! You decide 'fuck it!' and order them all, the Cannoli, Panna Cotta and Torta Al Cioccolato.

You hand the phone back, Austin finishes the order.

“We have about 50 minutes Princess. Let’s get you in the shower sweetheart.”

The way he was talking, you thought he would just show you to one of the guest showers. You are pleasantly surprised when he takes you naked by the hand up the stairs to his bedroom and to his massive shower. You tie up your hair with the emergency hair tie you keep in your purse. He turns on the water and gets in, inhaling sharply as the still cold water makes his muscles tighten and shiver. Oh holy crap, he even makes a cold shower pornographic. A walking sex bomb. Your mouth hangs open as you watch him. His eyes open and he giggles when he sees you.

“I love a good cold plunge, wakes up the body,” he grins as he holds out his hands. “Come in, it’s warm now.”

You step in and he pulls you to him.

“Here, let me clean up my mess,” he says. With soapy hands, he washes away the stickiness of his cum. You feel a little sad that it’s all getting washed away, making you realize how much you actually like having his cum on you. You drape your arms over his shoulders, pressing your soapy boobs to his chest.

“Next time, I’ll lick it all up. I don’t want to waste another drop of your cum, Austin,” you hear yourself saying.

“My my, I didn't know you were such a dirty girl, Princess,” he says looking at you with narrowed, lusty eyes. “Next time? I like the sound of that.”

Then you are wrapped in his arms, your mouth wrapped in a deep kiss. Your hands are running along his back, shoulders and over his ass. This new character must be big, you think. Clearly he has been working out hard. His biceps and deltoids are bulky, like you like them. He pulls you under the shower head to rinse you off. You look up at him with pure lust, turning up your desire. Fuck he is so hot wet. Your pussy pulses in its own juices.

“If you keep looking at me like that Princess, my cum will ruin your dinner,” he whispers.

“Oh no, not dinner,” you say in a breathy mock tone, your mouth curling into a slight but naughty smile.

His eyes widen, then narrow. Clearly he didn’t realize he had said that out loud. One eyebrow lifts and he pushes you up against the shower wall. His mouth is on your neck just under your ear.

“Spread those legs for me, my dirty girl,” his deep voice makes goosebumps break out down your arms.

He reaches down and without pretense, slides his fingers into you once, twice. You moan at the sudden intrusion, grateful he had already fucked your pussy so he could slide in easy. He pulls his fingers out, dripping with you. Rubbing his fingers and thumb together he brings them up to your mouth and slowly inserts them into your mouth, not far, but enough. You suck your own juices, his eyes locked with yours. He trails his fingers out and down the middle of your chest, stomach. He slips them back into you and out again, pulling slick up around your clit, rubbing in a circle. His tongue stoppers the moan you let out. His lips seal to yours, pressing, lifting, pressing again. wet and needy. His tongue is undulating on your lips, filling your mouth then leaving it empty, searching in again. The heavy breath from your nostrils blows against his cheeks. Your arms are draped around his neck.

“Fuck hunny, you are so damn hot.” he says as he pulls away. He is still staring intently at your eyes. “I want you to cum on my fingers, ok? Tell me what you need.”

“Around my clit, and inside with curled fingers,” you nod, “and don’t stop, I don’t know how long-”

He interrupts you with a kiss, “I love it when my Princess tells me what she wants.”

He smiles as he slides in and out of you, thumb making circles on your clit.

The warmth spreading inside you is definitely not from the shower. Your eyes close.

“No, look right here.” he taps your chin.

You open to see his stunning blue eyes, and you are lost.

“Faster!” you breathe, “Harder!”

Your mouth falls open as he bites his lip, watching the pleasure melt across your face.

“OH FUCK!” you whine as your muscles clench down and your hips buck. His other hand holds you tight, pulls you. Your right breast pressed to the middle of his chest.

Pleasure rises in you faster than you expected, good god he is like walking Viagra. You freeze as he curls his fingers into your g spot with each thrust. It’s hard to keep your eyes open, they flutter instead.

“That’s my good girl, that’s what I want,” his hand slides up to cradle the back of your head and neck, his forehead pressed to yours. His whole body tense in trying to get you off and hold you close.

Fuck, you are riding the razor’s edge. Then his mouth is on yours, tongue desperate to get to yours. Hot, wet, sloppy kisses to go with the hot wet, sloppy sounds his fingers are making in your cunt. Sounds you can hear over the rush of the shower.

Your body jolts in orgasm, the saccade of your hips and neck making it hard for him to stay with you. His arm locks around you. You moan long into his mouth.

“Yeeess, cum my sexy fucking Angel, cum” he refuses to let up as you grab his working wrist and try to make him stop, overwhelmed in sensation. He grabs you tight in his palm and shakes your whole vulva.

“OH Fuck yeah,” his voice is gravely and sexy as fuck.

Your legs wilt out from under you as you moan in immense pleasure. He follows you to the floor of the shower, still shaking your pussy, then pumping in and out of you again.

“Oh fuck, oh Austin, oh fuck fuck fuck fuck!!!” You refuse to use your safe word even though you no longer have any control over the shaking of your body.

After a minute or two he slows down and pulls out. You are panting as he stands up and leans back against the opposite wall of the shower. His beautiful cock standing hard in front of you. He looks down at you through heavy eyes, his lips lightly pressed together. His chest rising and falling as he breathes with his passion. Using the wetness from your pussy that is on his hand, he strokes his cock. Oh gods, he is exquisite.

Once you catch your breath, you are up on your knees, hands roaming over his legs, hips and his fine fucking ass.

“Let’s ruin your dinner, shall we, my Princess?” he says with a naughty smile

“Yes please,” your soon-to-be debauched mouth salivates.

He holds his hand in front of your mouth, you dribble spit into it.

“Holy fuck hunny, you make me so damn hot,” the /d/ and /t/ sharp and percussive.

He slathers his cock with your spit. His hand slides up and down his whole long shaft a few times, putting a little show on for you. An Austin Butler exclusive performance very few have seen before.

As your hands slide on the wet skin of his body, his moans come out in ‘mmmm’s, his inbreath sucked in through his teeth. Then he starts to focus on his tip more, the occasional stroke falling down to the base. His deep ‘oh’s and ‘ugh’s start with a closed-throat type grunt and end breathy. His fingers intermittently slip over his tip, which makes him groan louder each time. You slide up his muscular inner thigh and lovingly play with his balls. His hand speeds up. You are mesmerized by his jerking off. His thighs tense and his glutes pushing his cock into his hand periodically. Austin is cut from the fabric of Greek gods, and you are on your knees in homage, waiting for your personal blessing. He rises on his toes, his other hand reaching for your shoulder to balance, his hips are pushed forward, his whole luscious body tight.

“Open up Princess, show me those slutty fuckin’ tastebuds,” his teeth gnashing.

You open your mouth, tongue out looking up at him in supplication.

“Yes, yes, yeeees… ohhh fuuuuuuuck,” moaning and grunting, he spurts hot onto your tongue and chin. It’s not a whole lot, after all he already came twice, but gods above and below his cum tastes so fucking good. You move to catch the last bit that drips from him on your tongue, slurping up every drop. He reaches for your chin, swiping up a dollop of his cum and offering it to you. You greedily suck it off his fingers.

Austin puts his hands on your shoulders, guiding you to stand and envelops your mouth with his, his tongue dipping in for a taste of himself.

“Oh my lord Princess, that was so fucking hot!” His arms pull you close.

As you are drying off, Austin’s phone starts going mad. He glances at it then tosses on gym shorts and a t-shirt.

“OOo food! Go ahead and find a t-shirt or something. I’ll be right back!” he kisses you lightly and scoots out of the room.

Actually getting a moment to yourself, you soak in the fact that you are standing naked in Austin Butler’s bedroom. What the ACTUAL FUCK! You start feeling a little dizzy and sit down on his bed. You take a couple deep breaths and look around just trying to take it all in. It’s like a private sanctuary with books on the bedside table. It’s surprisingly bright for a man’s bedroom: simple white bedspread, wood and leather. Who knew he was into a subtle boho vibe. After some searching, you abandon the t-shirt route and grab his robe from it’s hook in the bathroom. Every scrap of clothing you have here is downstairs, not like you care about being naked or anything.

You notice the colognes he has on his dresser. You smell each one. Memorizing which ones are your favorite. Then you discover an essential oil roll-on that smells like the woods and lavender and amber resin. Fuck, this is the smell. You roll some onto your wrists.

“That one is my favorite,” you hear his voice from behind you. He is leaning on the door frame watching you. He walks over, takes your wrist and holds it to his nose.

“Damn, it’s good on you,” he presses it into your hand. “You keep it, wear it on our next date.” He smiles at you.

“Oh, next date eh?” you ask.

“Yes,” his arms pull you close. ”I’m going to pick you up and take you out to dinner, where you will order all the things and we will try all the things. Then I will bring you back here where I will ask you to stay the night with me and I will fuck you in that bed right there all night long and hold you in my arms until we fall asleep. Then I'll wake you up in the best way in the morning before I make you breakfast. So be ready, my Princess,” his kiss is sweet and soft.

His description has you ramping up again, not like it's all that difficult really, just the mention of his name usually makes you wet.

“But right now, there is Pizzana! C’mon," he takes your hand and leads you down the stairs.

You text your partner that you are out with your industry contact again. He just gives you the thumbs up. That might as well be a blessing, you decide.

You eat in Austin’s robe, smelling like him. Your conversation flows easily and you guys laugh a bunch, both a little silly from all the orgasms and closeness.

“Ok, I had better get going home” you say after a while, not really wanting to, but your practical side is knock-knocking at your mind, "do you need me to call an uber?”

“What? Oh hell no!" he looks at you like he's offended. "No Princess of mine is gonna uber back to her car,” he smiles at you, "b ut first, how does Tuesday sound for our date?”

You check your calendar, just to be sure and agree that Tuesday will work. In the back of your mind, you wonder what you will tell your partner.

“Do I need to wear anything special? Cuz I don’t really have anything super nice," you figure it's good to be prepared.

“Just casual should be fine darling. When I take you somewhere super nice, we’ll go shopping first,” he smiles and reaches over, dragging a fingertip along your jawline.

You blush at the idea of being so spoiled.

You and Austin divvy up the leftovers. He asks if you want to pick which of his cars to drive you back in, you actually like the comfort of the Lexus.

“Maybe someday we can go cruising in the Julia just for fun,” he folds you in his arms in his garage. “We can drive up the coast, stay somewhere super private. I can make love to you in moonlight. We can go wine tasting or something.” You can feel him getting hard again through his joggers. Jesus, this man. You wonder if he's going to bend you over the hood pull your pants around your knees and slide into you right there. Which would be absolutely fine with you. Sadly, he opens the car door instead.

Back in the now empty parking lot he pulls up next to your Toyota sedan. He hops out of the car to open both doors for you.

“See you Tuesday, Princess. I’ll pick you up at 5, Remember to bring an overnight bag darling,” he helps you out of the car, bowing low over your hand and kissing it. He makes sure that your car starts and that you are safely driving away before he leaves the parking lot. Such a fucking stellar gentleman.

You are sitting in your car, in the lot at your apartment wondering what the hell just happened and what to tell your partner about it, if anything. He was insanely jealous of Austin, but he is also your hall pass.

As you walk into the small LA apartment, he is on the bed, video controller in hand. Even though you’ve lived here for the better part of 15 years, everything looks different to you.

“Hey,” he says without looking at you.

“Hey,” you reply, “I have leftovers if you want any.”

He extricates himself from the bed and comes over to peruse.

“Damn baby, Pizzana? I’m glad I waited to eat until you got home!” He says opening the boxes.

“Yeah… it’s been really cool. Actually, they said there was an opportunity for me this Tuesday, but it’s not here, so I’ll be gone that night, like overnight,” technically, Austin doesn’t live ‘here’.

“Oh, that’s cool” he says, you know he is thinking about how much game time he can get in by not having to go on your nightly walks. “Are they paying for travel expenses?”

“Uh huh,” again, not a lie.

Your phone buzzes

Austin-

“Goodnight Princess, 68 hours until I’ll have you in my arms again.”

It wasn't your Austin AI… it was actual honest-to-god Austin, calling you princess and wishing you goodnight.

“Goodnight Austin, it’s not soon enough.”

#austin butler #austin butler fanfic #austin butler smut #austin butler fic #austin butler x reader #@slowsweetlove #@purejasmine #@richardslady121 #austin butler/reader

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zozo-01 · 1 year

Text

Hi!!! Stealing this lil idea from @ejunkiet and I'm gonna list out some of my favourite fics from the year!!

From @dominimoonbeam!! 'All The Things They Didn't Know', 'With The Starlight Eyes' and 'Why the duck?'

Look!!! I am a sucker for some David/Darlin' goodness, whether it be romantic or platonic!!! I can't nottttt have them on my list!!! And Domini's Avior/Starlight fic freaking broke me and then put me back together again!!!

From @taelonsamada!! 'Between You, Me and the Fence Post' and 'Sharp Mouth'

If I'm being honest, I would link alllll of the fics Char has wrote because holy fucking shit they are that good!!!!! But those two hold a special place in my heart. <3333

From @romirola!!! 'Duet', '(It Was the First Time) Things Felt Normal Again' and 'Secrets Between Friends'

The way Romi writes the dynamics between the pack is incredible!!! She balances the angst and light-hearted aspects of their relationship!!! And I adoreeee how she writes Angel and David!!!

From @solclaw!! 'ocean eyes' and 'cinnamon'

Again!!! David/Darlin' content makes my heart so <33333, AND ADDING SAM AND ANGEL TO THE MAKES IT EVEN MORE <33333!!! And 'cinnamon' is also just one of my favourite Redacted fics of all time!!! *sobs* I just want them to be happy, ;-;.

From @starlitangels!!! 'Shaw Pack Pups AU', 'Fight Night' and 'Avior One-Shot Compilation'

I ADORE ALL OF THESE FICS SO MUCH!!! I CAN'T CHOOSE ONE SO I JUST THREW IN ALL OF THEM!!! And 'Fight Night' is soooo iconiccc!!! Star is literally my best friend in this fandom and I love, adore and cherish her and her work so much!!! <3333

From @frenchiefitzhere!!! 'Leave the Gun, Take the Cannoli'

FRENCHIE IS OUR GREER FAMILY CANON AND I TAKE NO CRITICISM ON THAT!!!!!

From @angel-bubbles!!! 'migraine' and 'fate vs. magic'

Both of these fics are so lovely and wholesome and sweet, just like bubbles. <3333333

From @glassbearclock!!! 'In sickness and in stealth', 'Pampering Your Incubus Boyfriend [Reverse Comfort] [M4A]' and 'would it be okay if I came home to you?'

Beans!!!!! The first two fics just itch that gooddddd comfort need!!! And the imperium fic...... Please don't complain if your heart gets broken!!!

From @lovelylonerliterature!!! 'wolf among the sheep', 'the end of all things.', 'Thirsty' and '3-3-3'

Alllllll of Lovely's fics fill me up with such angsty joy!!!! AND I ADORE HER FOR HER ABILITY TO DO THAT TO ME!!!!

From @thatlesbeanjew!!! 'It’s A Loud And Dark World', 'There's A New Sun In A Dying Day' and 'When Fear Consumes The Rage'

The way Tay writes Darlin' hits so incredibly close to home for me and I adore it!!! Also Tay if you're seeing this, this is me asking for more writing from you. <3333 (Of course no pressure, but >.>)

From @gingerbreadmonsters!!! 'bury the hatchet', '五二零', 'blood sugar, baby!' and 'a ring on the carousel'

THE WAY GINGER WRITES THINGS MAKES ME TRANSCEND WHEN I READ THEM!!! AND HER GAVIN, OH HER GAVIN!!! THE BEST GAVIN TO EVER GAVIN!!!

From @teasandcardigans!!! 'your friend in death (take me to him)', 'good night, dear heart', and 'he's gone'

Mads' fics are so. <3333333 They just hit different and gooddd!!!! We love some Elliot/Sunshine angst, the old idea that Fred and Angel are cousins and the aftermath of Imp! Vincent's death!!!!

FINALLY, LAST BUT NOT LEAST, FROM @ejunkiet!!! 'jaws that bite, claws that catch', 'let's fuck up the friendship', 'all bark, no bite' and 'through a glass, darkly'

LITERALLY EJ IS THE BEST!!!! Like the way they write Angel and David is trulyyyy my favourite in the fandom!!! They're truly are amazing and I wish for all the best in their endeavours!!!!

#redacted asmr #jdksji this got so long #but i have a lot of fics living in my head r e n t f r e e #this is zo speaking

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therealvinelle · 2 years

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The Cullen's are blessed by the vampire gods with the ability to eat one meal of their choice before they have to be plain old vampires again. What do you think they pick?

Ooh nice one. Though strangely I only have a set headcanon on this for Aro, and that's because of my conviction that the man is dying of curiosity surrounding every food he'll never get to taste. That man would be so excited he'd fail to make a decision and end up having Caius thrust a cannoli from a Volterran confectioner in his face. And then he turns out to be lactose intolerant (he likely would be) so it's a terrible disappointment all around.

But yes, Cullens eating human food.

Full disclosure, this is largely based on what I like to eat.

Alice doesn't remember being human. She has never had a meal, period. Had she not had her gift, I could see her being unable to decide and ending up with apple and a glass of water because it's just too much, but as it is Alice she can look through thousands of scenarios of herself enjoying various meals, and then choose the one where she's happiest.

I think she goes for sushi. It's beautiful food with very fresh and good flavors, and you get pleasantly full, not bloated.

She has the money to fly in a Japanese chef to make her a disgustingly expensive meal, and a cosmo to go with because now Alice will know what cosmos taste like.

Followed by chocolate cake because she must know if it's as good as the humans all said it was. (The type of chocolate cake is of course chosen the same way as the sushi.)

Bella doesn't see the point in this. She gets a coke and mushroom ravioli to recreate her first date with Edward, as he can get a meal of his own for once. She doesn't think to choose a dessert, and feels left out that everyone's having chocolate cake.

Edward I don't see caring much about food. At least, he's not pouncing on this with gusto like Alice or Emmett.

He might just get a pizza, just to mirror Bella's mushroom ravioli, so that more than food, this becomes a memory for them that they share together. Having a seventeen year old boy's body, he appalls Bella by eating the entire thing in one sitting.

He follows it up with a pomegranate, because it's a bit awkward to constantly be making Hades and Persephone allegories when you don't know what pomegranate seeds taste like.

Carlisle probably gets one of the new foods he's had to watch the world around him enjoy but never have for himself. Adding in that he wouldn't have been able to access or afford nice cuisine when he was human, he's going to enjoy himself. I can see a meal based on food raw materials he wouldn't have been able to access but feel fairly confident he'd actually like happening. So, carpaccio, gravlax, steak, pasta (gnocchi with quatri formaggi, lasagna, spaghetti vongole/bolognese/you name it), anything goes.

He gets good wine to go with, followed by chocolate cake (same reason as Alice).

He might have gone for communion, but judging by the way we see him practice his faith in canon (note that Renesmee isn't baptized) he doesn't seem to consider the holy sacraments necessary for maintaining your relationship with God. Communion wafers are flavorless and the wine is just a sip, I think it's gonna be a no on that from Carlisle when he could be having a proper meal.

Emmett gets a steak. Bear steak. With béarnaise (unless Americans have another stereotypical sauce they like to get with steaks. Picture the hollandaise-based sauce that guys want to get with their steaks here, guys) and potatoes, and beer on the side. Chocolate cake on him too after.

Esme is delighted she actually gets to taste her own food for once, and chooses to eat whatever she enjoys making most. I think she gets the chocolate cake dessert as well, since everyone else is doing it and good for licking the bowl, since that's finally an option.

Jasper would have the same considerations as Carlisle, but I see hum as choosing a sandwich made of really good, freshly baked bread. Nothing beats good bread.

He combines with an interesting-sounding smoothie so he can tell Alice what it was like, but regrets it because the interesting smoothies are rarely the good ones.

Rosalie seizes the opportunity to be healthier than everybody else. She's having a salad, thank-you very much, followed by some stupidly elaborate French pastry. To drink she's having a smoothie too.

#rosalie hale #carlisle cullen #alice cullen #jasper hale #emmett cullen #esme cullen #edward cullen #bella swan #cullens #twilight #twilight meta #twilight renaissance #food mention tw

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sumeru-academy · 2 years

Text

Watermelon sugar.

synopsis: eating watermelon with them on a hot summer day. (drabbles)

character(s): shenhe, ganyu, eula, yae. (seperate)

warning(s): watermelon if you’re afraid of it, self consciousness about eating (ganyu), suggestive flirting (yae).

note(s): female reader, no use of y/n.

p.s: i hate the song but I literally had no other names to call this.

—mod angel 🎐

SHENHE

Shenhe isn’t used to having such flavorful fruit in the mountains, but after having her first taste of watermelon, her reaction to it is nothing short of adorable. Her eyes got so wide and her chewing got so much faster. Tasting this newfound flavor since all she was used to were herbs and strange vegetation growing up.

“How strange. The liquid coming out of the flesh is very flavorful and refreshing. What is this fruit called again?” She can’t stop eating. It’s so good and it shows. Shenhe just shoves slice after slice into her mouth and her little chewing noises are so cute it’s just ‘munch munch munch’ with the most deadpan yet somewhat intrigued expression you’ve ever seen her make.

She won’t even talk much now that she’s stuffing her mouth with watermelon, and your conversations over the summer mostly consist of you talking and Shenhe’s quiet munching. (She sounds like a gerbil)

“Enjoying yourself there?” You’d tease as Shenhe stares intriguingly at the flesh of the fruit. Prodding it with a fork as she examines the juices gushing out with the curiosity matched of a toddler. “It kind of bleeds out like real human flesh. Fascinating. Do the people of Liyue really eat this?”

Ignoring her strange comment on comparing watermelon to human flesh, you just smiled and raised a triangle of melon to her lips. “Mhm, it’s really good. I’m sure you’d like it, Shenhe. Way better than the bitter herbs you’d always eat,” you stuck your tongue out playfully at the notion and chuckled when Shenhe shook her head.

“It isn’t all that bad. Besides, this fruit comes from the ground just like herbs. So surely the taste must be–”

And then you nudged the slice gently into her mouth, causing your girlfriend’s eyes to widen because holy cannoli the taste was just astounding. “Hm, like it?” you grinned, watching as Shenhe’s eyes practically lit up the more she chewed.

She didn’t answer your question. But by judging how much watermelon she stuffed into her cheeks, you could only assume that she loved it.

GANYU

Whenever you cut up some watermelon for you and Ganyu, she’d always end up with a mess on her face. She just can’t help it! Whenever she is given a slice she just smushes her face into it and chews away like a little hamster.

Once all its innards are cleaned out, she pops her head back up and oh archons her face is an absolute mess. Which causes you to chuckle and dab at her face with a wet napkin going “it’s okay darling, you look adorable” and she’d just blush out of embarrassment because you’re always doing this to her and she can’t help but get shy. (She’s also a bit self conscious about how she eats in front of others but you always assure her that you love her regardless <33)

Sometimes you’d kiss the sweet juice off her lips and that’d cause her to go really red. Hiding her face under a slice of watermelon because it’s also red and she prays you think her blush is just the juice. (You do not)

“Ah, you’re always so messy…” you’d smile, dabbing at your wife’s lips with a napkin everytime she took a bite. The juice of the fruit would always messily run down her chin due to how much she enjoyed it, and it would always fluster her to no end whenever you’d dote on her lovingly.

“I-I’m sorry! I wasn’t trying to be messy…” Ganyu would mumble, gasping when you squeezed her cheeks with the napkin. “Mm, don’t be. I enjoy watching you happy whilst eating. You’re always conscious about how and how much you eat but as long as you're happy and healthy, I don’t mind one bit.”

Dabbing a little at her other cheeks, you flinched when you saw Ganyu tear up a little. Suddenly backtracking on everything you said and waving your hands around in a panic.

“Ah, what’s wrong? I’m sorry if I said something weird, please don’t cry! I love you!”

“Ah, no no I’m not sad! I’m just…” Ganyu wiped away her teary eyes, “I’m just really glad I married you. You’re always so sweet to me even when I feel unflattering.”

“Well, I don’t think you’re unflattering,” you smiled and kissed the remaining watermelon juice off her lips, “In fact I find you stunning right in this very moment.”

And she believed every word.

EULA LAWRENCE

Eula 100% has no tolerance for how messy the fruit is. She hates how it gets all over her hands and mouth and practically needs you to feed it to her. Dicing up the slices into more breakable parts so that Eula can be the sophisticated lady that she is and eat with a fork and bowl.

“Want me to feed you too?” you’d tease, watching her cheeks tint with the slightest bit of pink. “As utterly foolish as that sounds, I would not mind it, hmpf.”

And she crosses her arms pretending to be annoyed but in reality her heart just THROBS when you feed her. Savoring the taste of the sweet fruit and enjoying the loving look in your eyes as you stare at her.

“What. Why are you staring at me like that?”

“Can I feed you?”

“Absolutely not. We are in a public domain and–” you stuck your lip out in feigned sadness, “And…yes. You may feed me.” Eula sighed at the embarrassing agreement and shyly inched her chair closer to yours. Cursing herself for being so utterly weak against your adorable shenanigans.

“Stop acting like you hate it. You know you love being pampered like this.”

“Only from my fiancé shall I accept,” she huffed dramatically, the teensiest bit of pink making its way onto her face as you pushed a slice of watermelon to her lips. “D’aww, is the noble Eula Lawrence getting embarrassed over being spoiled? Oh how cute~!”

Aaaand that was the last straw.

“Tch, how dare you belittle me! I shall enact my vengeance as your future wife and embarrass you tenfold! Come here right now--”

And through the sounds of your muted laughter and protests of denial, Eula couldn’t help but smile as the two of you tried to shove watermelon pieces into each other’s mouths in an effort to embarrass one another. An adorable feat that even the ice queen herself couldn’t help but chuckle at.

YAE MIKO

Somehow, someway, Miko can turn something as simple as eating watermelon into a teasing game for the both of you. She’d cut up the fruit into little, bite-sized cubes and hold the shape in between her canines, tapping your shoulder and ‘innocently’ asking you if she could feed you.

The offer was just so, so tempting, but the moment your lips brushed up against the cold fruit, Miko “drops” the piece and pecks your lips instead, snickering when she sees your face fall as if you would’ve rather kissed the watermelon.

“Now wasn’t that much sweeter?” She’d grin coyly. “I think I’d rather have smooched the watermelon,” you’d tease, causing Miko to smack you with her tail.

“Miko! What a waste of watermelon...” you’d pout, staring at the discarded piece of fruit after the guuji had tried to kiss you with it as a lure.

“Oh please, I’m sure my lips were much more sweeter than that. Don’t tell me you’d actually prefer kissing the watermelon...” her voice was teasing, but the look on your face caused it to falter. “What? Are you serious?” her face looked absolutely crestfallen.

“Mm...sorry darling, but I don’t think your lips could ever top such a sweet and delicious fruit...” you silently smirked to yourself, watching as Miko’s ears flared back in pettiness. “Ohhhh, just you wait you cheeky girl, when I get my hands on you--”

“If you get your hands on me,” you fired back, grinning and jabbing at the kitsune’s face with a slice, “But until then, as long as we’re out here enjoying the sun, I think I’ll just make out with the watermelon instead.”

You chuckled to yourself seeing pure Electro energy crackle around Miko in a jealous rage. You had never thought that there would be a day where Miko of all people, would be jealous over a fruit stealing your attention.

“Fine then, be that way,” she scoffed, pretending to pay no mind as the two of you continued to enjoy your little dessert. “But I’ll show you soon enough, just how sweet a kitsune’s lips could be...”

#mod angel 🎐#yae x reader #shenhe x reader #ganyu x reader #eula x reader #yae miko x reader #eula lawrence x reader #genshin x reader #genshin fanfic #genshin imagines #genshin headcanons

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mspaintjade · 7 months

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Holy cannoli! I never expected to get THIS many followers! thank you all so much!

#homestuck ask blog #homestuck #jade harley #mod roxy #ooc

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ashtonisvibing · 2 months

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holy cannoli it feels so good to draw again,,,,,,,, and with a new style that i really like no less?? seemingly impossible-

and yet i love this so fucking much my god-

i did HANDS!! i did EYES!! i like how this looks!!

anyways first officially drawing of my... fursona? does it count if the only animal features are the nose, ears, and tail? i dunno, this is honestly just... me. or how i wanna be

is there a tiny chance the next bit of art will be something spicy and featuring danti? no, cuz it might be bigger than just tiny, but that's for in a bit. for now new art, good art :}

#ashton is drawing #fursona #digital art #bunny boy

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inventors-fair · 11 months

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Delight and Declamation: Play Contest Winners ~

Our winners this week are @hypexion, @just--a--penguin, and @spooky-bard!

@hypexion — Witherbloom Janitor

There’s a certain silliness to a world of real influence and the magical sphere. Out of all the cards this week, I found myself drawn to this as a subtle example, something where the humor is both present in-world (as the skeletons being subservient or animated homunculi-figures) and with a reference to the figure of speech which may become reality. Quite lovely to see the question there as well. There are minor wording possibilities, like, “At the end of a term/end of term” being something that rolls off the tongue more than the current wording, but that’s my English side and doesn’t take from the overall strength of your structure.

Lorehold is probably the place where this is a bigger hoser. Discarding and drawing means that there are some other considerations to be made, but that’s merely one limited possibility. What if this card wants to see constructed play as a body-to-Tormod’s-Crypt effect? Simple and reasonable; seems like every set needs a graveyard hoser, don’t it. Nothing complicated, but nothing that isn’t necessary, either. The effect’s permeability is what makes it stand out for me alongside the fact that it made me laugh, so there you go!

@just--a--penguin — Expose Fraudulence

This time, I want to talk about the meta and the gameplay first. Even if you don’t have Citizens, you’re gonna get some, and the semi-Fog-to-two-creatures-that’s-probably-a-card effect (and tbh I don’t have the time to look up the card I’m thinking of) is only stronger if you have yourself some Citizens to kill whatever’s coming at you. Wham, a big Rhino or Raccoon or Elf Guy is gonna do what he has to do. Wham bam the plan is to live. But, that’s a given, and it’s a pretty fun effect that can also just serve to aggressively whack out the opponent who doesn’t have their Citizens in a row and win.

But holy cannoli that flavor text and world. Three-raccoons-in-a-trenchcoat is such a vibe, honestly. And the callback to the weirdness of Witness Protection makes that dramatic little edge all the more endearing. How honest—no, what’s the word—genuine! It’s a genuine nature that makes the drama connect with the heart. The chase is on! I’m invested in these little dudes and the people exposing them! Magic can’t really have the story for a heist, but frankly, I like that much better than whatever Rankle had going on in MOM, so that bar is cleared. I’ll be wary of any fur-faced salesfolk coming by from now on.

@spooky-bard — Speedy Delivery

“Or else.” What’s it about Capenna that had people so interested in Food? Or, no, it was also this contest, there was a LOT of food. “Or else.” Man, I’m sorry, I’m bouncing around a lot, but I want that little turn to just stick for a little bit. In the middle of a busy week, I’m reading over all the entries, thinking about the commentary I have to do and when the hell I’ll have time to do it, I reread it thinking about how good the card is, and I laugh. I just start letting myself laugh, letting that come into this space, and it’s all I need for a second. It’s a fantastic card as-is, but it’s what I needed, and that’s why it’s here.

On the boring gameplay side of thing, I’m going to smack someone with a double-striking Raccoon—again—and I’m gonna have me some pizza to go with it. Actually, there was a really fun Heroic-ish uncommon from SNC draft I remember, so that’s very fun to think about with this card. Ach, what does it matter? Maybe in a Food-matters world it’ll be all the better and a token-matters one, too. What if the new world of Capenna’s rebuilding is a Masterchef-style contest and we have some espionage with the different families, having come together, succumbing to their old tricks and murders because of the prize? I don’t know, but it’s something where I can feel the levity coming to me. So thank you.

Runners if I can get to them before class! Whew. @abelzumi

#mtg #magic the gathering #custom magic card #inventor's fair #silly card contest #winners

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