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#but aaaaah i am literally so happy to hear u felt that way and that it was such an emotional experience!!!!
inkykeiji · 3 years
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i’m truly lost for words i. your hard work paid off so fucking much clari i can’t even begin to describe the emotions i felt reading that piece. it was just orchestrated so beautifully, portraying each line so diligently. the description of each sentence and- oh god i’m just waffling all my thoughts here but. wow. i’m so proud of you. it took me well over an hour to read it just due to the fact i sobbed so hard. i loved every bit of it, please don’t critique yourself too much, please. it’s perfect. thank you so much for delivering. i love you, little lily pad. - 🐸
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ah my sweet green friend!!!! your words brought tears to MY eyes; thank you so, so, so much. i’m over the moon to hear that you loved it so much and that it was able to affect you to such a degree oh my gosh!!! if you’re comfortable sharing, i would absolutely love to hear which scenes were the ones that got you the most (but absolutely no pressure at all!!) <33 ahahahaha i am naturally extremely harsh on myself but i am trying to keep in mind that i am only human and i am trying my best!!! thank YOU so much, both for this lovely review and always sending me lil asks that make me laugh, i love you so much!!!! <33333
FROGGY PLS U KILL ME AHAHAHAH I’M SO SORRY I HOPE UR FEELING BETTER NOW PLS FORGIVE ME FOR LAUGHING EEEEE
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nightswithkookmin · 3 years
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Hello Goldy 💜 So JK dint post for Jin and so does Tae. Both of them di t post for Jinins bday also. Whats going on here ? I dont understand if JK and Tae have been banned from posting on their boyfriends bday. As u can tell i am both Jikook and Taejin shipper. What do u think is happening or should i say not happening.
This topic...
Hold on, lemme put on my tinfoil hat:
I got nothing. Lol.
Secondly, aaaaah Tae Kook!
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Lol. Tae Kook. The evil power duo of BTS, my favorite rageddy boogie men of ship street Avenue, PPP- pathological party poopers of Bangtan fantasyland- stomping on shipper's parade, putting commas in people's hopes and dreams. Y'all didn't get the memo? When we said y'all be snatching hearts, this is not the kind of horror heart snatching we was talking about! Y'all ratchet for this shit. Lol.
Someone give them the memo. Atatatatatat.
Lmho.
I mean for Jk, I've already speculated a few times- several times now, how I feel he's kind off been on a self assertive journey since late 2019 and coupled with a lot of things I felt was happening with him, Jimin and group around that period, that him not posting for the members' birthdays sort of make a lot of sense to me.
I've also speculated on what I felt was going on with Kook, RM and Tae around JM's birthday this year, so Tae not posting for JM also sort of made sense to me?
Tae missed Jimin's birthday as well. It would have been 'problematic' in today's social media climate if he posted for any body else within the group after that. It's the same with JK when he missed Jin's birthday last December- had he posted for anybody else, I'm afraid several trucks would have been sent to BigHit HQ demanding his head on a spike. Chileee.
Can't blame them though. Even the members themselves, during 2017 Festa, descended hard on JK for gifting a present to Jimin and not the others- they pay attention to these things, you know? Jin in his recent VLive had said he had been up waiting for texts and all- or something along the lines of that, and I'm pretty sure he pays attention to who posts what on their Twitter account on his birthday. Well we know Jimin does this too. Lol.
You don't need to be a mad scientist to figure out that one member posting for another and not the others would make the members feel some kind of way about it even if they don't say it out loud.
Frankly, like I said, I feel they set themselves up for this shit- miss one, miss them all or risk solo stans coming for your ass. That's how we roll on these fang gang streets. Lol.
But for Kook, I sort of felt his was deliberate- may be an impulsive decision at the time, but deliberate nonetheless. I mean he had all 24 hours post Jin's birthday to belate that shit- better late than never, but he didn't do that.
Whatever had transpired within that period- which I've speculated on in past posts, I feel that had pushed him to his breaking point and had incentivized him or propelled him to reel back, reevaluate his goals, intentions, purpose, calling- whatever you wanna call it, and eventually had embarked on a journey to reassert himself and take back control of his life all throughout 2020- until recent times...
- Y'all see Jikook's dynamics have flipped again post Jimin's birthday right? Clear your schedules. We gone talk. Soon. Muhahaha.
I don said, Jikook have/had been asserting themselves against eachother and against the group this year. And for Jk, that self assertion would come in the form of him putting up boundaries and reinforcing already existing boundaries among other things, which would in turn require him demanding and demonstrating his independence from anything and anyone he had relinquished his self autonomy to- prior to. In my opinion.
I'm gonna step on a few toes here and regurgitate, JK didn't just take a step back from his life, he took a step back from Jimin as well, in my opinion- I can literally hear temperatures rising. Chilee. Lmho.
It's easy to lose yourself in the process of loving someone. And when you love this person more than you love yourself, in the thick of love, under heavy public and peer scrutiny, where you are being told to change this and that about yourself everyday and everytime as a prerequisite for being able to love this person you want within a group; then you are bound to end up with nothing but the total eradication of who you are at your core or at least a drift away from your true self and the expressions of it... Sigh.
I mean all the, 'try not to be so possessive, he's our friend too' 'operation neutralize Jikook' 'chilee, don't lean too much into him, this is an award' 'I've got Jimin, restrain Kook' 'oh I think you stared too long here' 'look away' 'you got him a present, why didn't you get us any' 'is that your heart eyes?' 'Tuck it away' 'why do you film Jimin a lot?' 'use this person, not Jimin for your GCF if you want the clicks' 'GCF in Tokyo? How about OT7 in wherever mate?' - all these little tweaks and adjustments he's had to make to his personality and his expressions of self in order to hide his relationship within the group climaxes honestly. In my opinion. And late 2019 to me was that peak for JK. Again, in my opinion.
Changes like these don't come drastically. They creep up on you. Its slippery slope till you're caught knee deep in the mud. For instance, notice when the members complained about him not caring for them because he hadn't presented them with gifts like he did Jimin, he had agreed immediately to give them presents in the future in order to not answer to their question of why he had chosen to give just Jimin a present. That compromise to me was one of the early signs of him losing his authenticity. In my opinion.
Jimin and the members were quick to point out that he didn't have to do that because giving and gifting were not obligations and honestly they were right. He doesn't have to do things if he doesn't want to.
That's the paradox of Jungkook. He does the things he wants to do without shame and he is fearless and unapologetic about it. But you see, he is also often very passive when it comes to the things he doesn't want to do and would hesitate in insisting on his boundaries until he is pushed to his limits- from my observation of his interactions with the members and I think Suga and RM have talked about this too.
A classic example of this is his conversation with Jimin about their friendship- when Jimin said they were in between love and friends. His hesitation was a sign he was uncomfortable with that description but he didn't assert himself over it.
Another example would be Jimin saying during their log that he was taking a liking to JK- JK didn't react as much but JM turning to ask him if he was ok with him saying things like that was a sign they had had the talk about 'boundaries.'
JK is a very assertive person but his position as the youngest within the group places a lot of restrictions on his assertiveness I feel.
We talk a lot about Jimin being Kumbaya and sacrificing a lot of their personal happiness for the good of the group- well, I've been talking. Y'all don't say shit much- fuxking lurkers 😒 y'all suck. Lol. [Delete before you post, you idiot. They don't know you like that]
Anywho, we often talk about Jimin in this context but we- by we, I mean I, don't talk enough about all the ways JK often sacrifices his authenticity for the Kumbaya of the group as well. But unlike Jimin, I feel JK does it so he can keep his glass closet- fucking whippidy whip whipped. Lol.
And it's crazy because that sacrifice he makes of his true feelings and it's expression is what often leads people to question whether he acts exclusively with JM at all.
Often I hear shippers complain about how he did this with Jimin but he did similar thing with another member- listen, if you've heard JK sigh upon seeing RM imitating his mannerisms to try to neutralize his nonverbal gestures around Jimin, you'd understand what exclusivity means for him.
And when, you think about that he had to apologize to and explain himself for choosing to wear his man's bag over another member- it's not hard to see where his authentic self began to erode- It started from the moment the apologies begun. Never apologize for who you are- class dismissed. Lol.
Then he goes on to talk about losing his passions for his GCFs, his music- this is a person everyone within the group had said is or was the most passionate member within the group... You gotta wonder where it all went wrong. Know what I mean? Come on work me. I'm writing this at 2am. Lol.
I think Jimin was right when he said giving should never be a task. You should give from your heart and from your own free will. Not for show, and certainly not to please anyone.
Wishing a member a happy birthday should never be a duty, task or obligation- especially when such moments and expressions of it has become performative over the years rather than as true expressions of the love and affections they have for eachother- ok, I'm dozing off now. Lmho.
I mean let's face it, posting on Twitter for eachother has become more of a culture and an established tradition within the group that sentimental members within the group hold on to.
The birthday twitter post has been hijacked and lowkey/highkey advances the OT7 kumbaya agenda BigHit is bent on pushing and sells the BTS bromance fantasy to us rather than an actual representation of their love for eachother. In my opinion. I could be wrong about this.
JK asserting himself would mean him choosing not to participate in expressions that to him are performative, shallow and lacks depth whatsoever.
I know what you are gonna say- but but Jimin's birthday. But but but nothing. Lol. I have said I felt he was going to post for Jimin's birthday. Dude geared up for it with the 5/8 and everything.
And given as he's been on a journey to do the things he wants to and to pursue meaning in his expressions of self within the group, I feel and I believe he believes wishing his man a happy birthday on social is meaningful- Confirmation bias this shit. Lol.
Not that the act itself is meaningful, but that the act holds meaning to Jimin. I think I've talked extensively about Jimin and how important his birthday is to him. The only reason I feel he wouldn't or didn't post for him was if Jimin had asked him not to- which I believe he did. Posting for Jimin would have been tantamount to outing their relationship gangster style. Lol.
And we all know how the members feel about that. Smirk.
So no, I don't think he's been banned from posting for his man's birthday. I think this is him deciding not to partake in performative expressions of love- perhaps because that has never been him?
I don't know for Tae's Journey. His decision not to post feels very random to me. Who knows, he and JK have been talking a lot lately it seems and getting closer post Sope. So if you ask me, this perhaps is him taking a page out of JK's self help book and pursuing that authenticity of self expressions I've talked about?
I mean he did do awesome things for Jin's birthday so I don't think we can complain much. Getting his friends to wish Jin a happy birthday certainly pulls weight over a second post on Twitter. Jin got a birthday party with the members, RM had the same.....
The thing that bothers me and my friends over here about Jikook's incident is the lack of closure after that traumatizing experience.
With the others JK didn't post for, at least we got to see him in a VLive with them interacting and just giving us moments here and there. So even if he didn't post, we know he was with them and they shared the memory of that day together- which I feel is what we shippers want. For them to show eachother love- whatever way they express it.
With Jimin- Nada. Zero. Zilch. We got nothing my guy. Jimin didn't share any insight or give any details remotely resembling closure for us. We were hoping for a bangtan bomb or Episode but nothing so far. I hate it here.
We didn't get to see JK showing the love we know he feels for Jimin- he's proven time and again he loves that man. We didn't get to see them share the memories of that day together. Not even through narration- Jimin, you sonova bish! Lol.
Would I ever move on from that incident? No.
Do I want to move on from that incident- chileee I've been trying. It would haunt me for the rest of my Jikook life. Lol. I still get get nightmares thinking about it and it's Christmas. Sigh.
I think we would have to observe rather than anticipate how they choose to express and communicate their love for one another- especially Jikook and by extension Taejin- chilee Anon, I respect your hustle. Lol.
I don't blame you though. I mean sometimes Jin be looking like he wants to gobb-ok
What was your question again? Lol. I hope I answered it. Chilee. Keep supporting Jikook.
Signed,
GOLDY
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inkykeiji · 3 years
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Hiiiii I just read bmb part 4 and I have SO many thoughts this is gonna get long sorry if that’s annoying!! It was SO beautifully written like from the moment I started reading I was just like completely captivated by it. You write Tomura’s illness with such care and you have a wonderful way of making us as readers really feel hurt for him. Watching him spiral and reading about how the reader and Dabi feel about his decline was just written so well. Everything about those three is so complex and beautiful and you write the relationship between them so well. Also ALSO. Keigo saying the line from reservoir dogs…I’m swooning!!!! Dabi arguing that he’s more mr blonde than keigo oh I’m so in love with him…That was such a treat that’s one of my fav movies🥺 speaking of Dabi…the smut scene of him and the reader was so fucking good. It literally had me BLUSHING!!! Dabi is just so sweet on her and I looooove reading his perspective and thoughts on their relationship and his own like turmoil with everything going on with Tomura. This was wonderful I loved reading it and I’m probably gonna reread it cause it was that good. Anyways sorry for rambling but I hope you have a nice day!!! Stay safe Clari!! Excited to have u back!!! 🕊🕊🕊
DOVEY!!! <33333 oh my gosh please that would never ever be annoying!!!! i love love love hearing from you!! <3
first off, thank you SO much!!! i am especially happy to hear that tomura’s illness, both in the way it manifests within the story and how it affects those around him, came across so clearly and realistically. i suffer from the same mental illness that i’ve given him in this fic, so it has been really cathartic to examine it through the lens of him as a character—i really feel like it has aided me in further understanding my own mind and my own suffering, as well as how it affects those who love me! so i’m just really, really glad to hear that you felt that way!!
YES hehehe i really love their dynamic so much!!! so so so much, it’s so tragically beautiful and there’s still so much to explore there and aaaaah i just really love them all 🥺 OH MY GOSH IS IT????? it’s one of my favourites too!!! and my all-time favourite qt film (with the hateful eight being a close second <3 i rly love quentin’s work in general tho hehe). HAHAHA HE IS THO, HE ISSSSS like he’s so mr blonde it’s scary!!! i’m also super stoked to hear you enjoyed the smut!! i worked so hard on that scene and it’s another one that i’m super just overjoyed to hear that it’s hitting the way i wanted it to <333 YES dabi’s perspective and inner feelings on this whole thing are super interesting and i will be exploring them a little deeper in part five as well!!!
oh dovey babie i’m just so incredibly happy to hear that you enjoyed it so much 🥺🥺🥺 thank you thank you thank you for sending in all of your wonderful thoughts and telling me which bits had you feeling what, and which bits impacted you the most!!! this is invaluable information for me as the author and it’s just so fantastic to hear that everything is hitting the way i want it to!!!! i appreciate you and this ask more than my words can express!!! <33 PLEASE don’t apologize omg please this feedback was such a treat and i’ve read it SEVERAL times since you sent it!!! i love u so much sweet dove <333 i shall my luv, i hope you do as well!!! SUPER EXCITED TO BE BACK HEHE I MISSED U ALL SOOOOOO MUCH <33333
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