Feeling very insane about the fact that, in a way, being a bad Sharran is what saves Shadowheart in the end

Because like. She's not supposed to be bad at keeping secrets. She's not supposed to be vulnerable, kind, or hopeful. She's not supposed to get attached to anything or anyone

Yet, it's these things that allow her to get close to the pc and the group as a whole. The more she fails to keep Shar's secrets the more she opens up to you, and the more she opens up to you the more you have the chance to build a relationship with her, and it's through having that relationship that she finds the courage to defy Shar

If she had been a better Sharran she never would have built that bond at all, she wouldn't have felt safe to make the decision she did, and probably no one would have trusted her enough to let her decide to begin with

Shadowheart is saved because she is loved, and Shadowheart is loved because she cannot stop being herself no matter how hard she tries

dark justiciar shadowheart is genuinely so interesting to me as like... a facet to her character. like it really hammers home how desperate she is for shar's love and affection (+ the validation and love from other worshipers of shar). like in a lot of ways I get that it seems shocking to others / some fans because it really does contradict some of the morals we see her express BUT imo that just speaks to the level of desperation she feels. her comments on how shar "must" love her for her to survive the shadowcursed lands, or the bit where she talks about shar nurturing her and loving her and sounds... almost more like shes trying to convince herself more than shes trying to convince you. theres a bit about other sharrans not thinking she had earned her name, and of course the mother superior not thinking she was ready / worthy of being a dark justiciar. like shes just so completely desperate to feel unconditionally and securely loved, and to earn the approval of others that shes entirely willing to injure herself in the process (as well as.... the people who actually love her, of course).

not to mention that mechanically, afaik, she can only end up there if shes encouraged to by the player. ie... she needs to know someone else approves.

hes just so. confused about the weird shit they say.

GAH LONG POST..

xingqiu and chongyun have insanely good potential for angst my god. xingqiu in particular is so fun to think about in the context of chongyun. what do YOU know about chivalry boy

thinking about how he and hu tao kinda operate on similar notions of justice and all that shmick except hu tao is more strictly averse to disrupting the Natural Order (incredibly vague and generalized concept rn sorry) whilst xingqiu sets his principles more arbitrarily. chongyun's presence somehow foils a lot of his notable character traits. gestures hands vaguely in the air but sth sth hu tao would not approve of xq's moral infractions

perhaps im just reading too deep into this but shrugs ill admit something's changed in Me the last 2 years and coming back to xq and cy has me like. scratches head now hold on im not entirely sure if i even like the way xq treats cy. its kinda one of the main points of their dynamic- the whole.. pranking this oblivious guy who i really adore etc. but its deeper implications leave me a little unsatisfied and a little troubled (?).. in the long run i personally dont really see anything substantially appealing about their (leaning towards romantic in this context) relationship other than like ?? the tropes that mhy imposed upon them. they were created as a compatible Duo ykwim. they reference each other a lot in their lore and even in-game but.. idk maybe i just view them separately instead of a joint unit that anaylzing them individually revealed a lot of crevices and cracks in their ship that's built upon their mainstream appeal

but anyway i've thought a lot about them as a duo and is it nuts to say i like them as a romantic ship but if they were unrequited. i can see them working out but it necessitates a complete subversion and reconstruction of xingqiu (chara development basically LOL) on my part that i would totally invest myself in but im not entirely sure how to execute it

i like xingqiu a LOT as a flawed character. i wouldnt go as far as to say hes toxic, just very conflicted and insecure. hes a fun character to think about. re: the hu tao bit i mentioned above, i think they would have a really fun, witty, and transformative friendship

but anyway. yes i like xq and i still like xy. theyre just a bit more complicated now aha. im still capable of enjoying fluffy ship dynamics but lately ive been in a Character Study Mood ... mmm.. ive yet to organize my chongming thoughts

I think the worst part about bg3 for me is the way I see a character I was not intending to romance smile or say the saddest fucking thing or their romance trigger cutscene pops up and I go. I need to romance you right now. and make a new character. and then I see a character I was not intending to romance smile or say the saddest fucking thing or their romance trigger cutscene pops up and

boy i love it when a battle comes together in a narratively perfect way

sixth or seventh try at the cazador battle. for once instead of opening with a call lightning, he decides to open with a blight and insta-kill my bard, who normally starts by dimension-dooring to free astarion. this means that things get perilously close to popping off ascension-wise before jaheira and shadowheart can get her back up and a Daylight off. this kind of sets the tone for the battle, which goes Badly for almost the whole time. it hits the point where both my bard and shadowheart are just spamming Mass Cure Wounds and Mass Healing Word to keep people on their feet.

however. eventually astarion gets in perfect postion to break out the scroll of disintegrate right at cazador. who fails the save. and finally takes a proper hit to his ridiculous HP pool. he then pitches a fit and runs right at astarion to try and fuck him up, but the healing from the ladies keeps him on his feet - and then cazador was in perfect 'astarion has a scroll of Sunbeam' range. he did also hit ryse with it because i didn't realise she was in range. it's fine. she gets it. she's cast fireball on herself to get enemies before now. that put him on his last legs.

and then astarion'd taken a potion of speed before, so he had another attack - and he was wearing the risky ring, so he had sneak attack from the advantage.

get fucked, cazador.

i haven't felt that "people of x fandom are interpreting character y wrong or reducing them to such a surface level" to a strong degree until like

well

now with baldur's gate 3

favorite thing about act I Agustín is that he's just some guy. he's just a rando with a walking staff 😭 who made him the party leader!!!

Day 17, Candy

Apologies for not doing promptober for a few days, I was busy with school and playing Baldurs Gate. Enjoy

Rating: Fluff

There are spoilers for one of the endings here.

Spoilers for Shadowheart’s romance, of course.

Female Drow, Cleric of Kelemvor. Entertainer background.

Not betaed, put on your battle gear.

Minette was able to find time for her and Shadowheart to do something with Arabella, Minette wanted the young girl to have a childhood since neither she nor Shadowheart did.

“Thank you for taking me out again! Bone man isn’t all that great when it comes to fun.” Arabella pouted, and Minette chuckled, she still couldn’t tell why Withers seemed so familiar to her. They both walk the line of death, which the man did confirm.

“We’ll go to a bakery, pick out some sweet stuff,” Minette explained, fixing her flowy black dress.

Minette, Shadowheart, and Arabella walked on the grassy and stone path to the nearby town. Minette held Arabella's hand, ever since Minette found Arabella’s parents all those months ago in the house of healing, she felt like it was her job to take care of their daughter now. The tiefling child seemed happy walking beside the two.

“So, did you two start dating after you found me again?” Arabella asked, a smile was stuck to her face which made the lines on Minette’s skin crack a bit, forming a smile. “It’s kinda complicated, but yes. I would say that.” Minette smiled as she looked over at her dove, Shadowheart; who smiled in reply.

“Boneman said you guys are the ones that healed the Shadowcursed lands! I hope Mum and Pops got a burial.” Hearing Arabella say that pained Minette, but she was happy that she got a report from Thaniel that they did get a burial. “Your parents did. If you like, we can take you to visit them one day.” Minette offered, she found irony in the situation. Once she considered herself a spectator, if death happened she would offer her sorrows and prayers. Now… now that she has people she cares about and sees herself as something more. She wants to comfort the people she loves.

Shadowheart could sense the pain Minette felt and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze, Minette looked over at Shadowheart lovingly, she and Shadowheart are healing together. 

The village was lively and full of laughter of kids and people talking. Everything felt surreal to Minette, just a few months ago they were battling for the fate of the Swords Coast, and now… now it was like a mere nightmare that took forever to wake up from.

The three entered the bakery, different baked goods welcomed their noses. “Ooo! All of this looks so yummy!” Arabella happily skipped towards the counter to get a better look at the food.

Minette just enjoyed that for once in her life, it is full of happiness. “You two go ahead and pick out food, I’ll pay.” Minette offered, and Arabella gladly accepted, picking things out to her heart's content, the poor lady behind the counter seemed to struggle to write everything down at a fast pace.

“You spoil us too much.” Shadowheart giggled, placing a loving kiss on Minette’s cheek.

“Hey, my money hoarding has to be spent sometimes.”

i have THOUGHTS and OPINIONS about BG3's nomination for Outstanding Video Game at the GLAAD media awards. a probably slightly confused and certain-to-be negative ramble below the cut.

Idk I just....the queer rep in BG3 is Aylin/Isobel, that one pair of gnome husbands with ambient blink-and-you-miss-it dialog, Nocturne, and the debatably-playersexual companions. The character creator is also lovely and trans inclusive. And....I'm pretty sure that's it. (edit: there’s also Lucretia! How could I forget everyone’s favorite drag queen necromancer.) If there's more rep than that, it's stuff that I, a flaming homosexual who looks for this kind of thing, have missed on all of my multiple playthroughs.

The nomination makes complete sense. It is groundbreaking for a AAA game with this level of mainstream success to have this kind of queer rep. But like. I hope it doesn't win.

LRT that is such a thing with queer fandom spaces tho. It's like that post that's all "yeah your story is so gay but how are you treating your female characters" you know?

like yeah it's great that this is the queer fandom website but a good chunk of the time that just means placing a lot of focus on the white guys and that's still not great lmao

for someone who doesn't think there should ever be a tv show that adapts baldur's gate 3, i sure do spend a lot of time thinking about how one could successfully adapt bg3 into a tv show

should i just give up and write my master plan out as a full fanfic at this point?

everyone has some pretty reasonable dynamics and then there's soleil and gale

YEAH YOU'D THINK SO HALSIN BUT APPARENTLY THERE AREN'T. there AREN'T many grateful people here who want to spend time with me. every person is just saying that but nobody actually wants to vibe. I'm just getting passed along >_>

deciding who to date has never been harder than in baldur's gate..

Restart my entire Kane play through because I want to romance Shadowheart and not Astarion? I mean…