Nameless
Part Nine - Alien
Page 3/8
Our house, in the middle of the street.
Note: text in angle brackets is speech in Utapaun language.
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hedwig and the autistic experience
i have a lot more thoughts about misericorde than i can rightly put into words, but there's something really comforting about stories where our protagonist has to learn to be a person among other people at an adult age, and i think that has a lot to do with me being autistic
(mild misericorde spoilers)
there's really something uniquely alienating about being an autistic adult, especially one who did not have many friends growing up. and i think this lines up with hedwig's experiences pretty well; while children are expected to mess up and act out, adults have higher standards assigned to them. she's simultaneously held up to standards she doesn't even understand, while also being compared to a child for her naivety.
the sisters, for the most part, try to be gentle with hedwig. but often they forget themselves, because they cannot imagine the position hedwig is in. she has a completely different way of functioning to everybody else in the world and she has to learn how to cope in a world that isn't made for her. again i feel this has some parallels with the neurodivergent experience, being around people who simply don't function the way you do, who have different brains, and who can only attempt to understand.
hedwig's basically having to learn every social rule at once, with people who can't understand what she's going through, AND while having to do a job. for people who lead a normal life, at this stage they'd already be masking or they've learned ways to adapt to the world - but in hedwig's case she never had that opportunity. it's hard to really articulate all of this but i think this the best way i can do it: some autistic people did not learn to blend with neurotypicals as well or as quickly as others, for a variety of reasons, and turn into autistic adults who stick out.
as one of those autistic adults, i really like hedwig.
all this to say: i don't think hedwig is autistic, or intended to be written as such! her experiences are part of being an anchoress. but they do parallel my own, i think, and i am grateful for her existence. hope you find peace, hedwig. i am rooting for you!
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I gotta say, one of the greatest achievements of my 20s was that I learned (mostly) to differentiate between:
"I truly do not want to go" and
"I'm just feeling the Demand Avoidance, and I will like it once I get there."
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I think we should have a turn of phrase for "I'm not in the right, but I AM annoyed with this situation, so I just need to go bitch to a friend about this before I suck it up and go do the right thing" because more and more I'm finding this is a critical element of functional adulthood.
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god i hope the cpsc takes the shot. i think this would dramatically change their entire business model. amazon makes so much money by selling defective or mislabeled or just plain dangerous products and then faces little liability because this stuff is actually being sold by random third-party sellers that don't get vetted at all and can be hard to prosecute because they're in china or wherever. this is a big part of what makes amazon so powerful and it would be good for everyone if they were forced to bear more responsibility for the damages caused by the crap available on their website
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I meant to draw this back when I did this other doll comic as another side, to show a doll that had been cared for instead of abused, but somehow I wasn't able to finish it till like 10 minutes ago, anyway I did it *confetti*
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Genuinely crying at work rn. They have thousands of old photos (from the 50s to the 90s) they asked me to scan (so they can create a digital archive). Today I found a photo from a 80s protest with a banner that says "FOR THE PALESTINIAN CHILDREN". It's been 40 years. It has been a lot more than that, actually. And still.
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What it looks like: I've abandoned my fic
What's actually happening: It consumes my thoughts every single day. The urge to write gets stronger but my putty brain just. won't. let. it. happen.
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i'm begging you guys to start pirating shit from streaming platforms. there are so many websites where you can stream that shit for free, here's a quick HOW TO:
1) Search for: watch TITLE OF WORK free online
2) Scroll to the bottom of results. Click any of the "Complaint" links
3) You will be taken to a long list of links that were removed for copyright infringement. Use the 'find' function to search for the name of the show/movie you were originally searching for. You will get something like this (specifics removed because if you love an illegal streaming site you don't post its url on social media)
4) each of these links is to a website where you can stream shit for free. go to the individual websites and search for your show/movie. you might have to copy-paste a few before you find exactly what you're looking, but the whole process only takes a minute. the speed/quality is usually the same as on netflix/whatever, and they even have subtitles! (make sure to use an adblocker though, these sites are funded by annoying popups)
In conclusion, if you do this often enough you will start recognizing the most dependable websites, and you can just bookmark those instead. (note: this is completely separate from torrenting, which is also a beautiful thing but requires different software and a vpn)
you can also download the media in question (look for a "download" button built into the video window, or use a browser extension such as Video DownloadHelper.)
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