#but I think is part of the creative process
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Howard Hamlin: illusion of burning sins
Inspired by Better Call Saul S04E01 - Smoke:
“There’s something else that’s still burning after the fire that took Chuck’s life.”
I originally drew this piece at the start of the year, but recently I got back to it and decided to add some spice. Despite some small errors, I like how it looks now. Yum!
My creative process & thoughts for this piece:
It’s originally a self-projective piece partially about my mental struggles, but I won’t be talking about myself here.
Let’s focus on Howard Hamlin in this episode, right after Chuck’s death - Unforgivable as Howard Hamlin thought he was, he was partially a scapegoat for Jimmy McGill’s deeds. I’m putting Howard in the frame, but it is reflecting an aftermath of Jimmy’s self-denial and psychological manipulation driven by his own insecurities. Jimmy told Howard “that’s your cross to bear” while the sentence also serves as a suggestion to the audience that Howard is indeed a sacrifice to Jimmy’s self-loathing and avoidance. Jimmy McGill would be the illusionist who casted this whole “illusion of sins” upon Howard Hamlin’s already conflicted mind. Would you feel pity for this guy? Vince legit made him cry for your pity.
Everything is still about Jimmy McGill, our cunning, venomous perpetrator. Self-loathing and antisocial tendencies are a part of his true nature. Did he see Howard’s distress? Did he see Howard Hamlin’s suffering? He did. But this man closed his heart to them, just like the way he run away from himself. Jimmy McGill’s lack of sympathy is one of the very things that brought Howard into his grave. Just how pathetic Howard is? Grieving for his misplaced error in the dark, this man is oblivious to the fact that he was already entwined by the serpent: a cold blooded creature who would never change its nature - the snake here serves as a symbol of Jimmy McGill’s inherent antisocial tendencies. Howard could never foresee the future of this serpent sinking its teeth into him and pump out its deadly poison, which will finally give him the kiss of death. Even the stars that will guide him on his path cannot save him from this misery. Personally, 401 feels like the beginning of the downfall of Howard Hamlin, and the rise of Saul Goodman.
If we think about the causes of Chuck’s death, it’s not hard for anyone to see that Howard Hamlin, this poor man is overshouldering someone else’s sin - someone who’s unable to face the responsibilities to their own actions, someone who’s in constant denial, someone who’s too much hatred in their heart. (Naw Howard is legit Jesus here💀) it’s why I chose to cover Chuck’s face with the cross too, for how Jimmy mislead Howard into believing that Chuck’s death was all his fault, when Jimmy himself was the main perpetrator.
Anyway, in later seasons of the show, we can notice that Howard was crumpled up and put into somewhere he didn’t belong, he’s forced to face this superficial alienation - his marriage was falling apart too. With this vulnerability, Vince showed that this lead lawyer of HHM was stuck, he was conflicted, his glory was wearing off, he was struggling like every normal person would. He was burning not only because he’s trapped by guilt and sin, but also for the reason that he has the vitality to “burn” and release energy: He is resilient. He has the life inside of him to be burnt.
Compassion creates a sense of closure between characters and audiences. The entire tight spot in Howards life conveyed by Vince makes audiences empathize with him easily - honestly I never felt a thing for Howard Hamlin’s boring ass because I was busy siding with Jimmy McGill in my mind in the first few seasons. What’s interesting about Brba/Bcs is that Vince put us in front of a quandary: who would you side with in a fucked up world with fucked up people? When watching the first few seasons of BCS I put my empathy in Jimmy McGill, but then my empathy slowly detached from him as the show progressed.
As for Howard, I just pity this man as an audience after witnessing his fall presented by Vince in the later seasons: what Howard deserved was anything but a nameless grave with his murderer, a defamation, and a twisted, made-up story stated by his perpetrators on his funeral. Vince made it obvious to the audience. Yes. Let’s make this glorious man suffer. Let him be guilt tripped. Let his life fall apart like a roller coaster so you’ll lay your compassion and love onto him - Howard Hamlin lost everything, he didn’t even have a death with dignity thanks to the people operating the fucked up bullshit in the dark - It’s interesting to notice my “love” for this character is originally out of compassion.
Despite Howard, there are lots of characters who deserve audience’s love. There are Nacho, Mike, Gus, their motives are even noble if you try to look at it from a humane perspective, but anyhow they’re all part of this gut-wrenching predatory game - it’s basically how everything is so complicated in a world depicted in Better Call Saul and Breaking Bad, they create intricate conflicts. I do love how fictions like BrBa and BCS allow us to explore the complexity of humanity in a safe distance.
As Howard Hamlin was buried, Saul Goodman buried Jimmy McGill alongside with him too. And then there’s Lalo Salamanca lying beside Howard Hamlin like they’re doing pillow talk - they are both powerful beings taking high positions in the BCS food chain. As they disappeared, the path for Saul Goodman’s career to ascend is broad and clear. A cucaracha rising to the top, and this time he’s fully embracing the darkness.
In conclusion: Great make-believe, Vince!
#0liviart#better call saul#bcs fanart#bcs#Howard Hamlin#chuck mcgill#brbabcs#artists on tumblr#digital art#procreate#Jimmy McGill#breaking bad universe
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What happened when you wish on a star?
In the kingdom of Roses, everyone knows wishes do come true, thanks to their beloved King Magnifico, granting all their wishes overnight while they sleep. Everyone trusts in that, except Asha, an artistic and quick-witted young girl, for she knows in her heart that her deceased grandfather never got his wish granted. On her 18th birthday, when it was time to give her wish, Asha discovers a terrible secret, the king and queen are not what they seemed. With no one else to turn to, she makes a wish upon a star... And the star answered.
*.✧
This is the cover I made for my friend @annymation fanfic "The Kingdom of Wishes", which you can read both on Ao3 and right here on Tumblr!
All necessary links for readings will be attached to this post.
*.✧
Now let's talk about the cover itself.
At the bottom we have Asha on top of a tree, with Valentino. She's catching up to Aster, right above her. These 3 elements the tree, Asha and Valentino are illuminated by the light that comes from Aster, a yellow light and are shaded by purplish blue shadows precisely because yellow and blue/purple are complementary colors divided on the color wheel and this is a characteristic of my art I like to make colored shadows and not black ones.
Aster has a thick outline and no shadows because he is in 2d, while the rest of the universe is in 3d.
This pose was inspired by one of the promotional posters for the Wish film.
I followed the same colors as the sky and wanted to place the wish balls and star sparkles making a circle around Asha.
I tried to leave Asha and Aster more to the left because the protagonists, in film posters, should always be more to the left.
Magnificent and Amaya are appearing in the sky, in the background, precisely to represent this subtle threat, but always existing throughout Anny's story. Magnificent and Amaya may not always be present in the same place as Aster, Asha and Valentino, but they are always watching, aiming and wishing for the star.
Unlike the film, Anny makes it clear that these two are the villains of the story and to rescue this I wanted to bring triangular shapes to their faces precisely because a triangle represents a warning of danger, sharp pointy things that can kill you and do you a lot of harm — this is even the case. a form often used in classic Disney villains. I also rescued the use of the color green for the villains, well seen in all Disney films; That's why both the light that illuminates them and the shadows are green, one lighter and the other darker.
*.✧
Making this cover was a lot of fun, it was a great experience that taught me a lot of things!
If you think it's beautiful, I invite you to follow me because I'm preparing several other illustrations for this same fanfic and they will all be posted here, with the same explanation of what they mean and my creative process.
I'm loving being part of this project and thank you so much for reading this far!
Kisses full of light and stars!
~Emy ✨
*.✧
@annymation @uva124 @oh-shtars @signed-sapphire @mythartist21 @kstarsarts @spectator-zee @tumblingdownthefoxden @chillwildwave @gracebethartacc @gracebeth3604
#kingdom of wishes#wish reimagined#wish rewrite#wish 2023#disney wish#artists on tumblr#the kingdom of wishes au#starsha#wish star#star boy#asha wish#disney asha#wish asha#art blog#fanfic#graphic fanfiction#fanfic art#fanfic authors#fanfic aus
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Happy pride month! I was wondering if you would ever make a trans character or if its ok to headcanon any of you characters trans. I really headcanon faust being ftm cuz i relate to him so him
I never mind anyone headcanoning a character as trans. I think it's dope. I think in terms of my content specifically, particularly characters I voice, I shouldn't just make and portray a trans character as most of my boys are particularly geared to sell smut in addition to the plot, and that's a whole additional layer of stuff to consider because it's like...yo why is this cis guy profiting off something that should be handled with thoughtful consideration.
That being said, I'd like to explore my creativity outside of the bounds of just the audio roleplay medium. I'd like to write and tell stories in many ways, some of which absolutely involve creating characters that don't look like me, and have very different experiences from me.
When that time comes, I'll be figuring out a process for sensitivity reads, talking with all sorts of people to gain further insight and understanding before just...making things.
It's something I try to be conscious of. I don't think a creative has to only stick with whatever lived experience they have gone through, but I think it is the bare minimum to do the legwork to understand people and whatever stories you tell, know that you may be waving flags that are not your own, and that comes with responsibility. It might also come with shutting the fuck up. You won't be able to please everyone in a scenario like that, and sometimes you just have to accept it.
I've been very lucky to have spent a pretty significant part of my life getting to know people who aren't like me. That's only scratching the surface, but if I have one strength, it's listening. I don't always get it right, or know all the things, but that awareness is why I'd take those extra steps to grasp wtf I'm about to tackle in my work.
And if I think it's beyond me, I'll also know when to hang my hat up and move along.
All of that being said, I certainly have no issue with a trans Faust headcanon. I've spoken before about how he's about as close as I'll get to publicly exploring my own complicated thoughts on my gender and whatnot. I don't think I'll ever be comfortable enough to delve top deep into that in my public facing work just because while I trust my core audience to be great to me, that's the sort of thing that I don't think I'd want to go out of my regular orbit and leave me explaining myself to strangers on the internet. 😂
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Some pics from my sketchbook! 🌸🧚🏼♀️ 2020-2024
#this is about a fairy tale that still give me pain everytime I'm working on it!#the story changed so much#but I think is part of the creative process#writing a story is hard#anna sketchbook#my art#sketch#concept art#charcater design#fairy tail#italy#comic books#traditional drawing#disegno#illustration#illustrazione#my original story#my oc art#anna-naray oc
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🏮✨Xianyun giving her daughters pretty dresses so they can flex those muscles das right.
Based on this🤭:
#genshin impact#genshin#Shenhe#Xianyun#Ganyu#thinking of doing part 2#👀#lantern rite#Genshin 4.4#my art#look I gave up toward the end that’s my creative process
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I know this is just a silly bad quality random screencap of a screencap that I found on facebook lol, BUT it's a succinct enough image to easily describe the concept in a quick/accessible way hopefully :
-
(and of course, feel free to elaborate in tags, etc.! (especially elaborating about other senses as well.. can you "hear" in your mind just as well as you can "see"? taste? etc.) It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who's like a 4.5 at MOST lol. I'm curious what option will be the most common :0c )
#tumblr polls#hrmm... a little poll perhaps.. about a subject I find interesting.. since this image came across my facebook today#still really not feeling that well. no longer shaking violently and such but I still feel weird and weak much more than usual#They did say my markers for like infection or inflammation were elevated but that they werent sure of the cause so hopefully#it's nothing too serious. they did also say a lot of different things can cause that thing to be higher than normal but didn't go into spec#fics of what. maybe some of them are relatively benign or something. I still havent felt much back to normal since#I got really sick that one time though. I feel fine on and off but then little bouts of feeling weird and sick happen. hrmmm#ANYWAY.. looking for small ways to be productive. such as little doodles on evil ipad or editing game videos#or posting polls or cat pictures or some other like not very labor intensive things#I WISH I COULD FOCUS on writing HHRGGhh... I need to finish my game.. it would be so freeing.. a project that's been looming#over my head for like 5 years even though througouht that 5yrs I've probably spent a total of 3 months working on it lo.. ANYWAY#I still partially really cannot beleive that people CAN see stuff in their heads. There's always part of me that's thinking like. well mayb#e everyone DOES see the same exact thing but we just describe/conceptualize it so differently that we think we're talking about#different things when we're really not. But I have been assured by people I've talked to about it that they can GENUINELY really see#stuff in their heads like as vivid as an actual picture in real life or something. And the other senses are neat too. Like for exmaple I#can hear in my head much better than I can see imagery. I still CANNOT hear vividly like as if I were listening to actual music out loud..#but I think it's developed more than my sight. AND interesting how this varies the creative process. a friend I was talking to on the phone#said they write by literally just watching stuff play before them like a movie. where my process is COMPLETELY different. AND that affects#the content/what details we focus on as well as our individual styles of writing have differences that can be traced back to that.. hrmm
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subscribe to my telegram - t.me/AratakaBattleBeetlesItto o((>ω< ))o
#genshin impact#genshin#Shenhe#Xianyun#Ganyu#thinking of doing part 2#👀#lantern rite#Genshin 4.4#my art#look I gave up toward the end that’s my creative process
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apparently all mike wallace had to do to get him to answer this question was play truth or consequences
#there’s more than one story in the buford biog about him losing his temper and then breaking down afterward#bc he was upset with himself and also confused about why he always exploded like he did#but this interview was in 1948. he was aware that it was a problem from the beginning#it’s his irish temper + the emotional inheritance from his mother#but also i think he was massively insecure about certain things#like when they were filming ssos (from tony curtis’ memoir american prince) sandy mackendrick wanted burt to#slide down the booth in jj's first scene so falco could sit next to him and therefore it could be more intimate but#burt was adamant that jj hunsecker wouldn't slide down for anyone nor would he let himself be boxed in at a table without an escape route#but sandy had his own vision so they butted heads and the second sandy raised his voice burt upended a table#a disproportionate reaction to a creative conflict and probably (like he said) about a culmination of things not just that#financial liability and the fact that odets was writing scenes they were filming hours beforehand for one#does he want the push back bc the conflict breeds better ideas and he just doesn't know how big and scary he is? so it comes off worse than#what he intended?#or is he exploding bc he's sensitive about sharing his creative ideas and doesn’t want to be judged harshly#probably a combination of creative conflict and resolution being a part of his process and needing to feel like the bestest boy#but hes so fucking hard to pin down bc there's examples that contradict all of this#photoplay magazine#1948#1940s#clipping#i should just post this whole q&a
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the best part about my writing process (hammering out 8-18k words in one single sitting, always sleep-deprived, usually 5mg and 2.5 mental breakdowns in, questioning reality and the english language) is that the next day i get to look at what i posted as if it was written by a stranger.
it's actually so refreshing to look at my writing in the light of day like "huh ik i literally lost my mind about how this sounded like it was written by a kindergartner but it's actually decent. not sure how i pulled that off with my brain on the equivalent of critical battery, but nice."
#especially the ending i'm always delirious and cranky by the ending lmao#at this point tho the insanity is part of the creative process and i don't think my brain would work w/o it#hotd#house of the dragon#fic#fic: stormbreak#stormbreak#aemond targaryen#daemon targaryen#rhaenyra targaryen#rhaenyra#daemon#aemond#daemyra#daemond#rhaemond#aemyra
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hey Tunes, do you know whats happening in the Miguel tag? I'm too afraid to check it out myself so thought I'll ask you.
essentially the atsv screenplay was released two or so days ago, which you can read in its entirety here, and there has been valid crirtique regarding the language utilised to describe Miguel within said screenplay, including allusions to bloodlust and the screenplay describing him as an animal twice I believe.
#insofar as my own personal thoughts this does really make me concerned that theres a real lack of consciousness to#emphasizing miguel's anger and the nature of his being in that he's half spider as primary tenets to his character#its deeply concerning to me that regardless of whether the authorial intent was more in vein of providing direction to animators#or was an attempt at shorthand for his emotional state to emphasize his threat AS an antagonist#that this kind of language pertaining to a moc wasnt examined more closely and that it wasnt something picked up upon throughout the#creative process (because lbr Lord + Miller + Callaham are notorious for creatively echoloating their way to the final product and even the#screenplay we HAVE has elements which never made it to the film that exists right now)#its concerning that this mindset on part of the creatives (esp in contrast to Spot as others have pointed out who doesnt contain the same#kinds of language descriptors) that this is something that appears to have been integrated carelessly and without consideration as to just.#the implications of always referring to a moc within bestial terms and characterising his emotions as such. and i think thats something#which is important to point out and criticise as part of the authorial intent (which is what i read the screenplay AS yknow)#but yeah tldr theres been a lot of issue taken with the language used there and i think its a very warranted point to make critique of#and its one i personally hope the creatives HEAR and reflect on. because theyve shown they can do so in regards to characters like Peni or#elements like getting the texture of Miles' hair wrong at first#ask games#anon
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head in hands heand in hands
#paper is talking#Me when my dad is telling me how good and useful ai art is#How it would be so much easier for me to draw if i used it#That i can just skip the ‘meaningless’ stuff and get exactly my ideas made#Basically like the entire drawing process is meaningless and isnt important#Im not that good at speaking chinese but i said sometihng like ‘then i dont need to draw’ meaning like theres no point in me drawing at all#But i didnt really say the right words to get that meaning across so he said exactly!#Like.#head in hands right now guys#Theres no point in drawing anything if i use ai to make it#Like idk how to explain this in a way that he will understand in a way that isn’t ‘yeah! See now you dont have to work as hard and its so m#So much easier!’#Idk why but him suggesting whole heartedly that i use ai to draw just ruined my mood eniterely#WHATS THE POINT!!!#In drawing amber and sayu and all my ocs if im not drawing it!!#Whats the point in drawing anything ever agian#Drawing is so fun becuase i made that.#I made that with my own two hands#And its specifically mine. I made that#Like i took the time to figure out how to draw the eye to look just rihgt#i took the time to figure out which colors looked bettter and i took the time to look back at the references and study the characters cloth#s and realize with terror that they have 32847298374 details#I took the time to just not draw all those details#I tookt he time to make it and it is part of me#I dont care if its just amber standing there drawing 548 i made that!#He thinks that the amount of time and effort is a hassle and a problem that should be solved cause it ‘gets in the way of the#Creative process’#This is the creaive process!!!!#This is the point!!#Top ten reasons im balding
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i aint frustrated with my art or anything but i am frustrated w how long it takes me to finish a piece. ya feel me
#minor vent#i know its a silly thing to be upset about and i know that my environment plays a big part in my creative process#making money off of my art is always a big goal of mine but i cant do that if i dont. have anything to show for it#i just wish i could do more w my art yaknow#im trying not to dwell on it for too long or else ill get super upset but like. hm.#vince chats#i think i made myself too upset writing this actually. im gonna go fuck off now
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i think the thing that no one tells you about being forced into being a high achieving child/teen is how much it comes to fuck you over later in life when you can’t do anything without holding yourself to an insane level of perfectionism and then you realize it’s basically leeched all the fun out of any hobbies you created for yourself and left you with a shell of a personality
#like I was having this convo with my mom about how I used to do so much in high school and college#and granted a lot of it was to look smart or well rounded for college and dental school apps which is I guess it’s own thing#but now that I don’t have another goal to work towards my life feels more stagnant and I guess I feel like more of a failure?#even though that’s absolutely not true I just see other people always on the grind and feel guilty for not wanting to do as much anymore#bc I’m tired and burnt out from everything#and the worst part is that it extended into my hobbies too#like I used to love baking and painting and being creative until I just set such insane standards for myself#like if something wasn’t perfect or aesthetic or worthy of being displayed as like a trophy#my effort and the process and time invested into it counts for nothing#not to be controversial but sometimes writing feels that way too#i think it’s a mental battle I have with myself but it makes me sad how many hobbies I used to have and enjoyed#that were then destroyed by burn out and perfectionism and imposter syndrome#this turned into a rant#will probably delete later#but I just had to say it somewhere#isi rambles
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How do you come up with the titles for your fics? They're very creative!
This is a very funny question for me to receive, because the answer... varies. Prior to getting an AO3 account, I only really titled my fics if I had a good idea for a title; AO3 requires every piece to be titled, though, and a lot of them... did not come easily.
I have the easiest time with Whumptobers, as I just title those based on the prompt. Otherwise, I have to come up with the titles myself, and it's usually the first thing I think of that sounds good enough. I have two pieces titled "i don't even know" and "dormmates (idk what to call this)" respectively purely bc I couldn't think of a title for them, and then I have pieces where the title is some low-meaning jargon that vibed like "it's snow problem!" "tiny steps in the night" "eggs for one" and so on. So more often than not I'm scrambling to figure out some kind of title to satisfy AO3 and then leaving the piece untitled on tumblr bc it doesn't need one.
When it comes to naming AUs... yeah, that varies too. I had a lot of trouble coming up with a name for the Between AU because a lot of what I was coming up with (Bergen Branch, Bergen Brothers, etc) either felt misleading, incomplete, or didn't fit the tone quite right. So even though "Between AU" makes no reference to the fact that Branch gets to be Bergen royalty, it still works with Branch's character arcs in that AU as being caught between different worlds. Some of my AU titles end up being more literal or descriptive (Undead Acrobat, PN Rapids AU), and some get to be a little more poetic (Pearl & Seaglass, The River Runs Deep).
There is one series where I spent a lot of time figuring out titles; in fact, just a few weeks ago I had a category two brainrot event that witnessed me going through all the ice and ice-related Wikipedia articles + a thesaurus shifting some of the titles in If We're All for One World (the title of which is literally just a lyric from the show's theme song, lmao). And the names from that series don't all fit a cohesive theme! I just put them together based on the other pieces they could be themed with, and based on what served the story best! I do have a series where all the names follow a theme (Buried Beneath), but it's a loose theme of "earth-related" lmao.
tl;dr I pick names based on what works for the fic itself, but sometimes I just throw words together until I get something that sounds vaguely fitting, and sometimes the fic is part of a series where the titles have some kind of theme, but even then it tends to be loosey-goosey.
#ask zaz#i...#i don't think this helped#thank you for the compliment!!#but some of my titles really are just. words i threw together#sometimes a title simply comes to me like a fairy in the night#sometimes i have to think about it#and sometimes it's a whumptober piece so instead of naming the piece based on the content i reverse the process and use the title#to help me figure out what i want to write for the prompt#so yeah my final answer is: it varies#and if ''it varies'' isn't an essential part of the creative process#then what the fuck am i doing /lh
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i need everyone to know that every single time byan engages in their favourite hobby of shitting on a certain cowboy, i'm writing it with these images staring me down from the back of my mind
#an insight into my creative process#it's about as chaotic as you'd expect#some part of my brain is always thinking about Him#and it's entirely byan's fault. it's an odd and vicious cycle.#did this all come back to mind bc ptd came to the top of my playlist? that's none of ur business (yes)#okok i just needed to shitpost again now i'm gonna see about finishing these describe me asks tonight#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ OOC ⋮ DON’T @ ME.
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yoo congrats on completing the writing for the fic :) hope the editing n stuff goes well
Thank you! I'm about 20 pages into editing (out of 57), and so far it is going well--granted I don't usually do a lot of editing in the first place, but even so.
I've been working on it in pieces for about 2 weeks, so it's interesting to go back and see how it all places together! Though we'll see if it holds once it gets to the more intense parts. Wish me luck y'all--new fic coming at you sometime later today!!
#quil's queries#dizzeners#i thought it might take the better part of the day to edit but so far it's alright#granted. like I said. maybe it's because this is the first half-ish#and the second will be harder#but! i think it'll be alright#i freak out a lot but that's just part of my creative process
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