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nixnephili · 18 hours

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Psychological Notes - Nikolai Gogol - BSD

These are some simple notes on his psychology

I've done a little analysis on Fyodor in the past. Which you can read here:

Some S4 SPOILERS (nothing huge, tho)

HPD - Histrionic Personality Disorder.

I think anyone who is familiar with HPD can identify Nikolai with it immediately. On a more broad spectrum, he's a near embodiment of HPD.

Histrionic Personality Disorder main Symptoms:

- the constant need for attention/ attention seeking behavior (ex: mannerisms that seek attention, clothing that seeks attention, a specific way of speaking that seeks attention)

- being uncomfortable /physically uncomfortable in situations in which the individual is not the center of attention

- being overly provocative/ seductive

-displaying emotions that seem to be shallow and change rapidly/ do not remain consistent

- speaking vaguely, lacking detail

- being easily influenced by others or circumstances

Considering relationships to be much more intimate than they actually are

On that last point, it brings special attention to Nikolai and his behaviors in S4

His 'friendship' with Fyodor might very well exist only in his head. Fyodor allows him to entertain the delusion to keep him under some flimsy emotional obligation Nikolai sets up for himself. Though, as we've seen, he matches the symptoms as far as shallow and inconsistent emotions go. In one scene, he rejoices over reuniting with Fyodor, and the other, he sends him off to a very possible death.

Nikolai is very eccentric. Going out of his way for flare and drama. Although, on par with HPD, whenever his attention seeking behavior is ignored or doesn't receive the reaction he needed or expected, he either can become distressed or escalate his antics greatly.

//////////

A scene that's very memorable and relevant for Nikolai is his: "I'm completely sane" scene.

I doubt that I need to come in here and tell you that this is very unlikely to be true.

To break this down... there is the notion of "sane or Insane Homicide". That refers to circumstantial points. Sane homicide would imply an act of self-defense or perhaps an accident. The person who committed the homicide was a victim of circumstance or negligence. They had no choice, where survival came first, and they needed to protect themselves or others against another human being that was threatening the individual's life. This presents a completely sane person commuting homicide out of need for survival or prevention of harm to oneself or others.

Insane Homicide would go down the path of a crime committed more out of a 'want' than a 'need'.

Nikolai is not physically forced or obligated to commit the murders and atrocities he is responsible for. He isn't trapped or manipulated (as he hates brainwashing by default i doubt he'd allow himself to be a part of it).

Though if I were to assume, Nikolai could be experiencing a compulsion. This refers to an action that the brain feels a pressing NEED to do. If not, Nikolai may feel uncomfortable or feel physically unwell. Compulsions are most often the results of the brain's desire to cure an obsession.

If you are obsessed with germs or cleanliness, you may feel the compulsive need to wash your hands very often. The obsession causes you to be anxious and overthink -> so your brain tries to resolve that obsession every time it occurs, through that compulsion to wash up.

Nikolai is obsessed with freedom. Complete and utter freedom from the world, society, feelings, and existence. To be truly free. His brain could be trying to resolve this obsession by compulsively 'freeing' people (murdering them) from feelings and, therefore, existence. Nikolai temporarily resolves his obsession with freedom by compulsively freeing those around him. If that obsession in his mind isn't resolved, he can not function. The brain needs and wants to function, so it resolves it repeatedly. Because what resolved it once will resolve it every time. And if the obsession can't be resolved, Nikolai grows uneasy and uncomfortable.

Much like a person who can not control their own mind and life, and compulsively chooses to control other's.

#nixnephili #bungou stray dogs #bsd season 4 #bsd fanart #bsd headcanons #decay of angels #bungou stray dogs fanart #nikolai bsd #nikolai gogol #bsd nikolai #bsd nikolai gogol #gogol bsd #bungou stray dogs gogol #bsd gogol

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fadingladywhispers · 1 day

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🫀

#art #anime #bsd fanart #bungo stray dogs #bsd #bsd dostoevsky #fyodor dostoevsky #bsd gogol #fyodor dostoyevsky bsd #bungou stray dogs gogol #bungou stray dogs #bsd art #bungou stray dogs fyodor #bungo sd #gogol bsd #gogol nikolai #dostoevksy

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sillyfishies · 10 hours

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I love drawing gogol purely because of his big flowy clothing

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greendy2l · 7 months

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physically crying, mentally here

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fandoms-incorrect-quotes · 11 days

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noo guys dw he was just feeling a little silly when he committed all those murders and acts of terrorism

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venusal-tar · 7 months

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My love... please talk to me...

#bsd #bsd fanart #bungou stray dogs #fyodor dostoevsky #fyodor dostoevsky bsd #bsd fyodor #bsd anime #bsd manga #bungou stray dogs gogol #bungou stray dogs fyodor #fyodor bsd #fyodor #please baby please #in tears rn

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selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs · 2 months

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When you were gone

Self-Aware! BSD x SAGAU Imposter crossover

Self-Aware! Nikolai Gogol x GN! Reader

Description: You disappeared one month ago...

Warning: OOC. English is my second language.

_____

You felt so sleepy. You go to your room, yawning. Tonight, you won't have a cuddle buddy. You tried to offer some cuddles to Kolya. But he refused.

"Sorry, Birdy, but I can't cuddle with you tonight. I will practice all night for the magic show."

You just nodded and left for your room.

"Okay. Goodnight, Kolya."

Your room's door closed behind you. Gogol feels a pang of guilt. You looked so lonely. Maybe, he should go to you and cuddle?

Nikolai shook his head.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow he will bring you coffee in bed and you two will cuddle.

You will be there tomorrow.

_____

Day 1

_____

You were late for breakfast.

Too late.

Everyone already were in the dining room, eating.

Nikolai smirked at himself. Were you waiting for him to arrive with your coffee? Well, give him a minute.

He was brewing coffee. Two cups. One cup was made to be perfect for your taste.

After preparations were done, Nikolai Gogol took the tray with coffee mugs, creamer and bowl of sugar and went to your room.

He will wake you up (by starting a tickle fight). Then you two will drink coffee.

Nikolai let out a small laugh. Maybe, he will plant a kiss on your nose after coffee will be drank.

He knocked on your door. You didn't answer.

Nikolai Gogol opened the door.

You weren't in your room.

He didn't hear the sounds of running water.

And your bed was made. And cold.

Did you go on a run? Or to the market?

How long were you gone?

When you will return?

Nikolai's eyes shrank, when he noticed your phone on the bedside table.

You left it.

You always bring your phone with you.

Nikolai had a bad feeling about it.

*****

It's been hours.

And you haven't returned yet.

It's been hours.

And all of them were searching everywhere.

It's been hours.

And you were nowhere to be found.

________

Day 7

________

Week...

It has been a week since you disappeared.

Everyone were devastated.

Nikolai fell down on his bed.

He didn't care, that the blood on his clothes will dirty the covers.

Today, he was searching for you.

He was 'nicely asking' some crooks, if they dared to kidnap you.

Ougiri have never used his ability as much as before.

And he will use it even more.

You still were missing.

You still were nowhere to be found.

________

Day 14

________

Two weeks.

They have been searching for two weeks.

For two weeks they were looking under every bush, every rock.

Trying to find just one clue. One little clue.

They gathered in the dinning room.

Sitting at the table.

Your chair looked dreadfully empty.

The table was quiet.

They can't say anything.

There were no news.

No good. No bad.

Nothing.

Oda's voice broke the silence.

"Q... Are you... Do you want to say something?"

Nikolai gazed at the teen.

They were silent. But the look on their face were empty. Q opened their mouth.

"I... Nikolai-san, two weeks ago... You were the last one, who saw [Y/N], right?"

Nikolai nodded, not understanding, where Q were going to.

Q nodded and bit their lip, hugging their doll closer. Toy's colorful clothes (your present for Q) looked out of place in this situation.

"I see... Why... Why didn't you stay with them? You were always talking about wanting to stay with Guiding Light forever. What happened with that?"

Nikolai's voice were a little bit louder, that of a whisper.

"I were practicing... For a magic show..."

"Were the practice necessary? Could you practice only that day?"

That he cancelled. Because he can't waste time on anything else, beside the search.

Q's unique eyes stared directly in Nikolai's mismatched eyes.

Nikolai stay silent. He could. He could practice in the morning. He could stay with you.

Nikolai's silence were enough to answer Q's question.

They stand up, put their doll on the table and walked towards Nikolai's chair.

Q took their own chair with them.

Q put their chair near Nikolai's chair.

Q stood up on their chair. Now they were looking at sitting Nikolai from above.

Q clenched their fists.

"If you stayed with [Y/N]… No one would be able to kidnap them..."

Q screamed.

"It was your fault!" Q's fist was small, but, the hit was painful. Nikolai covered his bruised nose.

Q were yelling, while Dazai was dragging them away. It was hard, because Q tried to get away from his hold and hit Nikolai again.

"If you stayed with [Y/N] they won't disappear! Don't you dare to say, that you cared about them! You never cared about them! You will never care about anyone! You will kill anyone, who came close to you! That was your plan, right? To get rid of [Y/N]? Did their love disgust you that much?!"

Dazai, with Chuuya's help, finally managed to drag Q to their room, locking the door.

And Nikolai was standing here. Unmoving.

"Коля... Как ты?"¹ Fyodor's voice sounded soft.

Nikolai swallowed and shook his head.

"I... I need to go..."

Before Nikolai could go away, Fyodor grabbed his shoulder.

"Коля, ты не виноват. В ситуации виноват только тот ублюдок, который похитил [Т/И]. Все мы знаем, что ты бы никогда и пальчем не тронул [Т/И]. Не вини себя."²

Nikolai didn't say anything.

Without looking at Fyodor, Nikolai returned to his room.

It wasn't true! He could never hate you! He likes you! You are his Birdy.

And you were still missing.

He loves loving you!

He didn't want to hurt you.

He missed you.

But, what if... Q were right?

What if he was the reason, why you were gone?

______

Day 21

_____

Nikolai's body was shaking. He was crying. There was no hope. There was no you. There was no clue.

Ever since Q accused him, everyone were checking on him. Everyone were worried about each other. And about you.

Nikolai tears start flowing again.

Maybe, it really was his fault that you were gone? If he stayed with you... No one could take you away...

Another cry filled the room.

"Пташка... Пташка моя... Мені так шкода... Будь ласка... Повернися... Я люблю тебе..."³

Nikolai whispered.

"Я люблю тебе..."⁴

And no one answered his call.

_________

Day 30

_____

Chew. Swallow.

Bite again.

Chew. Swallow.

Bite.

Chew.

Swallow.

Bite.

Nikolai blinked as he pulled his fingers from his mouth.

The teacup.

Nikolai took it.

Blow.

Sip.

Blow.

Sip.

Go through the motions.

Nikolai closed his eyes.

For now, that's all he needed to do.

Go through the motions.

Breakfast is over.

Put dishes into the sink.

Go to the living room.

Learn, where to go today.

Search for you.

Repeat and repeat.

_________

Earlier that day, the portal appeared in the barn.

And you finally returned home.

________

Two weeks later

________

Nikolai was sitting near your bed, holding your hand. You were shaking. You had another nightmare.

He squeezed your hand, trying to make you feel better.

"It's okay, [Y/N]. It's okay. You are home." whispered Nikolai. You swallow your tears. Nikolai carefully brushed your tears away.

"I was so scared... I missed you..." whimpered you. You wanted a hug, you wanted to be near someone.

Like he was reading your mind, Nikolai hugged you. He whispered into the tip of your head.

"Nothing will ever hurt you, Birdy. I will never leave you ever again. I promise."

You stay silent, resting your head on Nikolai's chest.

Kolya carefully pet your head.

'Ніщо тобі не зашкодить, Пташко. Я обіцяю. І я подбаю про те, щоб вони заплатили за кожну сльозу, за кожну краплю крові. Я їм покажу.'⁵ thought Nikolai Gogol, hugging you closer.

Maybe, that way, he will have the smallest chance to be forgiven. For being the reason why you were kidnapped.

________

¹Russian. "Kolya, are you alright?"

²Russian. "Kolya, it's not your fault. The bastard, who kidnapped [Y/N] are the only one to blame. All of us know, that you would lay a finger on [Y/N]. Don't blame yourself."

³Ukrainian. "Birdy... My Birdy... I am so sorry... Please... Come back... I love you..."

⁴ Ukrainian. "I love you..."

⁵ Ukrainian. 'Nothing will hurt you, Birdy. I promise. And I will make sure, that they will pay for every tear, for every drop of blood. I will show them.'

_____

Tag list: @withered-blossoms , @myluckymoon @cocodrilofeliz @c4xcocoa @vvyeislazzy @whisperingwinters