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bi-naesala · 3 years

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Failure

Fandom: Yakuza

Rating: T

Warnings: Major Character Death

Relationships: Kiryu Kazuma & Nishikiyama Akira, Kiryu Kazuma & Nishikiyama Yuko

Characters: Nishikiyama Akira, Kiryu Kazuma

Additional Tags: Hurt No Comfort, Bad Ending, Suicide, Angst, Yuko isn't directly present but she gets mentioned, Kashiwagi also appears, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence

Summary:

What if Matsushige hadn't shown up when Nishiki was about to kill himself?

(Also on AO3)

Fic under the cut

It’s raining outside, a perfect match for how Nishiki’s feeling.

His eyes are fixed to the small shrine on the table in front of him, on the name that has been engraved on it: Yuko.

He still can’t believe she’s not in this world anymore. To think that he was so hopeful about this surgery…

It’s his fault that she couldn’t make it: if he hadn’t fucked up, the doctor wouldn’t have skipped town. All because of his incompetence.

Mistakes must be punished, this is what he thinks as he reaches for the knife that he’s been keeping beside him. It’s almost like it’s calling to him, a siren chant that Nishiki can’t resist.

He unsheathes the knife, observing his sad reflection on the blade. Eh, he can almost hear Kiryu teasing him about how bad he looks…

Kiryu.

His thoughts go to him, who’s wasting away in a cell because of him. It should be the other way around.

Nishiki wanted to carve some space for himself so that he could welcome him with open arms; for once, he would’ve been the one depending on him, and not the other way around.

Not even that he was able to do right.

He’s pathetic.

What does he have left? Why should he keep wasting space and resources?

Yuko, Yumi, Kiryu… They all deserve so much more than what they’ve got. They should be in his place, while he’s dead on the ground.

Well, he’ll soon put some remedy to that at least.

In his final moment, he thinks about Kiryu, of how much he’s letting him down.

He’s in prison for a crime that he committed, and he’s not even able to make sure that he’ll be welcomed back with open arms; and yet, a malignant voice whispers to him, won’t he be welcomed back no matter what? Because Kiryu is Kiryu, while Nishiki is…

If he were the one in prison, it wouldn’t matter, because he’s not Kiryu. He doesn’t matter. For all they care, he could die without making a difference.

It’s not right…

Realizing what he’s thinking, all Nishiki can feel are guilt and shame.

Kiryu has sacrificed his freedom for him, and all he can do to repay him is to think badly of him for something that, he knows, god Nishiki knows, isn’t his fault.

Envy has always been something he’s had to deal with since the first time he and Kiryu met, but to think that after all this time he still hasn’t managed to control it, that sometimes - no, more than that - it still manages to get under his skin…

Truly shameful, and ain’t that another good reason why he shouldn’t be here anymore?

His hands are trembling as they hold the blade that will do the deed, but soon they still as a weird sense of absolute calm washes over Nishiki.

It’s like a sort of enlightenment, something that he’s never experienced until this very moment. Now, he can only lament that his mind has never been this clear before; it would’ve certainly helped way before now, but he supposes that he can’t control this kind of stuff, can’t he?

At least he knows what he has to do now, and he’ll do it, without hesitation.

It hurts way less than he thought it would. Actually, it almost feels good, because he knows he’s doing the right thing.

As his strength abandons him, he can’t help a sad smile from appearing on his face. He almost feels like crying; whether it’s from happiness or sadness, that much is unclear for his hazy mind.

There’s only one thing he can think, only a few words that ring loud enough for him to still hear them.

“Bro… Kiryu… I’m sorry…”

Kiryu betrays no emotion as he walks inside the graveyard.

Of all the things he expected to find out after being released from jail, Yuko and Nishiki having died was the last of them.

No, Nishiki didn’t just die, he committed seppuku. Those are two very different things…

Kiryu still hasn’t processed it. In prison, life was like in slow motion for him, stuck in a miserable routine, so now he’s unused to this speed.

When he got released, Kashiwagi-san came personally to greet him, saying that Kazama-san was waiting for him. It was him, while driving him to the Kazama family office, that broke him the news of Nishiki’s death. It felt like a stab in the heart.

Kiryu was so cold as Kashiwagi-san kept talking, voice low, almost apologetic. There were so many things that he wanted to ask: how could it have happened? How could they have let it happen? And yet, he said nothing, knowing that if he tried to speak, he would’ve just screamed, and that wasn’t something he wanted to do at the moment.

He did make one request though: to stop by Nishiki’s grave before going to Kazama-san. He’s sure the old man has something important to tell him, but… He needs to do this first.

Kashiwagi-san looked about to try to dissuade him, but something - maybe guilt, who knows? - made him change his mind.

“Alright Kiryu, as you wish.”

Nishiki’s grave is right beside Yuko’s. At least they haven’t been separated after death, although the knowledge is little to no consolation.

As Kiryu kneels down on the ground, uncaring that he’s going to get his suit dirty, he imagines Nishiki and Yuko - a healthy Yuko - walking together, hand in hand, laughing and joking around like nothing’s wrong. Ah, what he’d give to see this…

He closes his eyes, narrowing his brow, lips quivering. He wants to say something, but he has no idea about what. What would even be appropriate in this situation? Would saying “I’m sorry” be enough?

Yes, Kiryu is sorry, so very sorry: he feels like he’s abandoned Nishiki, left him to fend alone for himself.

Had he been there with him, would things be different? Would he be alive? Would Yuko be alive? He still doesn’t know exactly how she died…

In the end, despite how much he wants to, he can’t change the past. Besides, if he hadn’t been the one going to prison, Nishiki would’ve, and who knows how that would’ve gone, not to mention that Yuko would’ve been left alone… Well, not alone, because Kiryu would’ve stuck with her of course, but he doubts the news of her brother going to jail would’ve done wonders to her health.

No matter what happened, it feels like someone would’ve been lost either way, but is it really? Was this destined to happen? Were Nishiki and Yuko to die, without any chance of changing things for themselves?

… It’s useless to wonder about these things. After all, it’s not like Kiryu can change the course of fate.

When he opens his eyes, he almost expects - hopes - to wake up, to find out that this is only a nightmare, but unfortunately that’s not the case.

It’s real. All this is real, and there’s nothing he can do to make it better.

He gets up, going first to Yuko’s grave, stretching a hand to touch the stone surface, brushing his fingers against where her name has been inscribed.

He can’t hold back a frown when he notices how dusty - and generally dirty - her grave is. He’ll bring that up to Kashiwagi-san and Kazama-san, because he finds it unacceptable.

“I’m sorry, Yuko…” he murmurs, as if the grave can hear him.

After a moment, he turns to Nishiki’s grave, managing to move the necessary steps to get closer to it. Uh, there’s dust on here too…

Is there anybody tasked to keep them clean? Apparently, no. Kiryu tries his best to remove some dust with his hand, though there’s still so much even after he’s done; he makes a mental note to bring some cleaning supplies next time he visits; if nobody wants to do it, he will.

He gently rests his forehead against the cold stone; for a moment he imagines it’s Nishiki and not just a grave.

“Nishiki… I’m…”

He’s managed to hold back until now, but he can’t anymore. He’s silent in the way he cries, mourning the loss of someone that has always been so dear to him, his friend, his bro…

“I shouldn’t have abandoned you,” he mutters, opening his eyes, staring at the stone surface. “I’m so sorry…”

The wind begins to pick up, a gentle breeze that almost caresses Kiryu’s body, making him wonder if it’s Nishiki doing this, if it’s his way to talk to him, now that he can’t anymore. Is it forgiveness, or is there something else he’s trying to tell him?

For a vain moment, he hopes that, once he opens his eyes, he’ll be greeted by Nishiki telling him this was all just a joke - a tasteless one, but a joke nonetheless.

Unfortunately - though he expected it - when he does it, he’s met by the same grave from before.

“I promise you, I’ll raise to the top,” he vows, then, brushing a hand against the stone, remembering what he and Nishiki had promised each other - it feels so long ago. “I’ll make you proud, Nishiki. I’ll do it…”

There’s nothing else for him to say, or at least there’s nothing else that he can bring himself to say, not with all the thoughts swimming inside his head. Keeping up with them is proving to be a harder task that he thought.

As he takes a few steps behind, Kiryu feels lightheaded, a very similar feeling to when he’s drunk, even though he’s sober - for now, because later he plans to get as smashed as he can. He shakes his head, trying to get it together, and he manages to succeed, at least from an outside perspective.

He feels bad about abandoning Nishiki and Yuko again, but Kiryu needs to go. He knows this was just a detour, and that he can’t stay here for too long, not when he knows there’s something Kazama-san needs to tell him.

This doesn’t mean though that he feels good as he begins to walk away, towards the parking lot where Kashiwagi-san is waiting for him.

Now that he’s seen Yuko and Nishiki’s graves, a heavy burden has settled upon his shoulders, but with it, also comes conviction.

Yes, he’ll raise to the top, just like he and Nishiki had promised to each other so long ago.

He’ll do it for them.

#akira nishikiyama #kazuma kiryu #yakuza #yakuza kiwami #rgg #my fics #mine #koi son #sorry nishiki just makes me sad

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lettersofsky · 5 years

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Gamzee Week Day 7 - New Life

@gamzeeweek Fandom: Homestuck Characters: Gamzee Makara, Eridan Ampora, Karkat Vantas

I GAVE MYSELF EMOTIONS REWRITING THIS ONE. But also hey, completely off topic but things of doing a dumb streamer AU for Gamzee<>Horuss - because I’ve decided it’s my ship now and I want it so look out for that shit I guess.

“You need to get your fucking clown shit together and come talk to us.”

“Nah, think a motherfucker should be stayin all where he is.”

“Gamzee you’re being a fucking moron, even more than you usually are.”

“I’m real certain on this though.”

“Gamzee - “

“Nah. Karkat, I know yah just wanna make shit better between me, Eribro and the rest of yah but I just ain’t seeing how ya can be. We both done things that ain’t in the ways of bein forgivin, it’s better for us ta stay here.”

“You’re just saying that because Eridan doesn’t want to risk sharing.”

“No. I’m saying that cause I’ve caused enough hurt to brothers and sisters that ain’t deserved it none and I don’t wanna do that no motherfuckin more.”

“Gamzee - “

“I ain’t gonna force no motherfucker to accept my presence when it only being distressing to them. We all went through enough of that.”

“Gamzee they’ve fucking forgiven you! How many times do I have to tell you that! Both Nepeta and the sweaty horse bastard have forgiven you and want to talk about shit!”

“I ain’t though.”

“... what?”

“I ain’t forgiven myself for the wicked harshness I’ve dealt onto them. Not at motherfuckin all.”

“...”

“It’s better if I just stay here.”

“But, this whole fucking place is a new opportunity for you fuck face. You don’t have to be alone and away from everyone anymore.”

“I’m used to loneliness Karbro, ain’t no thing to real bother a motherfucker none. ‘Sides, a motherfucker ain’t alone no more. Got Eridan, don’t I?”

“For as long as he hangs around.”

“Hey now, he comes back more than Sea-Goat-Dad did. What more could I be motherfuckin askin for?”

“... a lot Gamzee. You could be asking for a lot fucking more, you no-brained clown.”

“... it’s fine. Life’s fine right now.”

“...”

“Thank for calling a brother Karbro, nice ta be hearing ya again.”

“... yeah, yeah you too. Call me again soon ok? No more of that bullshit, nobody wants to talk to me nonsense.”

“You got it bro.”

“I mean it! You fucking better or I’m going to come over there and smack you myself.”

“I promise! Swear on a brother’s pumper.”

“... At least… tell me you’re happy before I hang up, ok?”

“... what?”

“Gog Gamzee, I still fucking care about you ok you idiot clown? Just… I just want to know that you’re happy with all of this.”

“... I gotta go Karkat, been kept too long, ‘ll be missed.”

“Gamzee don’t you fucking dare hang up now -!”

“Bye bro.”

-click-

RING

Decline.

RING

Decline.

RING

Decline.

You don’t think on your conversations with Karkat as a general rule of life, thinking on ‘em makes you sad, makes you miss things that can’t be yours anymore and maybe never motherfucking should’ve been to begin with. … You don’t think on ‘em’s the main thing, you put ‘em outta mind, outta consideration until you had to talk at him again.

So when things… happen you don’t quite realize what’s going on or why at first.

It’s just, it’s a small thing, such a small thing and you don’t know why but it feels like it’s so much more than that.

Eridan, now you ain’t blaming him none for needing to get away at all, he needs to move about himself and enjoying the feeling of water about him and you don’t blame him that none, not for the terror that grips ya each time ya wake up to just find him gone gone gone no word or indication of where or for how long just gone like HE USED TO BE, or for the way you shake and have to follow him around like some kinda pathetic woofbeast pup that ain’t knowing what to do with himself and -

…

Eridan… says goodbye one morning.

He waits until you’re awake proper and emerged from your resting nest, not quite looking at ya and acting his usual self but obvious in his inaction. You’d been surprised, mayhaps even the smallest bit worried at something being wrong but no, he only acknowledged you long enough to say he’d see you at sun’s setting before disappearing into the water and… and it was so relieving to have an idea of when he’d be returning, of when to start expecting. You weren’t so nervous that day, didn’t cast as many looks to the water as your usual and that night when you welcomed him back with purring words and your forehead to his, you felt… better about your day, like you’d actually all managed to be having gotten something done.

It becomes more frequent, more and more common until it’s routine and you can go one entire day without turning your attention towards the swell of the ocean tide seeking out white violet on the horizon. It’s good, you feel good about it, makes the times he’s away longer than a day cycle easier to deal with, knowing he’ll come back.

Eridan’s in a snarly motherfuckin mood today and you have to calm him down before he does something he’ll regret but you can’t.

You’d woken from a night terror the night before, visions of glassy blue and the sound of hollow pumper-numbing laughter pulling you from slumber long before dawn and not allowing you back to rest.

You couldn’t be the Gamzee Eridan needed today.

Fuck, you could barely handle being any Gamzee today.

How could you calm Eridan when your own pan was feeding you an endless feedback loop of the feeling of Equius’ throat choking under your command, your strong brother’s motherfuckin smile after he’d died and no no no that wasn’t fair wasn’t fair at all you’d wanted to see his smile since you pupated that wasn’t fair you didn’t want it that way no and the sound of Nepeta’s bones breaking, shattering under your clubs, his best love, his most precious and you destroyed her like she was nothing, meant nothing when she was worth so much more than you ever would be you monster -

Your chest is tight, empty even though you are trying so desperately to get air into it because no, no you need to act need to push all this down and away because Eridan needed you and if you didn’t then he’d leave and you’d be alone again and you’d already failed Karkat you couldn’t handle failing here too you just couldn’t.

But it’s hard.

It’s so hard.

Your vision’s lying to you, showing you blue and green and the brightest motherfucking red and violet violet violet and blue and purple and red and -

“Shoosh.”

Everything freezes.

You stare at Eridan, unseeing, trying to figure out what was going on.

Eridan… he had a hand on your cheek, eyes staring at you like you weren’t something he recognized and no you hated that stop it please you’re so sorry just stay, please stay you will do better you swear…

Eridan, you don’t know if he hears you or not, don’t know if you’re saying those words or if they’re just stuck in your head because you’re so absent right now it’s not fair, but he, he just paps you, shooshs you, tucks you into himself, which is hard cause you’re so much BIGGER than he is, and he keeps you.

You’re safe.

You’re fine.

You aren’t hurting no one no more.

There’s no one to pull your strings anymore.

It’s ok.

You can rest here.

You can be safe here.

You were both learning still, this place could be different, new, anything you wanted it to be if you just put your mind to it.

…

You just didn’t wanna be alone anymore. That would be more than ‘new’ enough for you.

You don’t know if Eridan got that, don’t care what kicked him into seeing you weren’t happy with the occurences of your every day life, but this… you could accept this.

You could be content with this.

…

Mayhaps even happy one day.

Yeah, yeah happy would be nice.

#Gamzee Makara #Gamzee Week 2019 #eridan ampora #karkat vantas #tw: panic attack #will gamzee ever acknowledge that the only reason eridan's behaviour changed is because karkat told him some shit?#PROBABLY NOT BUT IT'S FINE #THE CLOWN'S IN DENIAL BUT HE'S HAPPIER #Skyee Writes

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hollenius · 5 years

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I'm so so sorry but I have to: Werner for the character meme (and/or Chuck McGill, if you can't think of anything!)

What the hell, I'm gonna do Werner AND Chuck

Werner

Fav thingabout him: He is so sweet; if I had a German uncle or grandpa or something, I'dwant him to be mine. He obviously takes his work very seriously too. He(initially) seems like a very cautious, careful sort of guy...unfortunatelythis attitude does not extend to all aspects of his life.

Least favthing: He's too sweet, dammit. His naivete and trusting nature made megenuinely angry, because I couldn't believe anyone could be so stupid aboutanything when he seemed fairly smart about everything else. I don't think youhave to be "street-smart" to understand that breaking out of an enclosedcompound without permission isn't the sort of thing you'd be allowed to getaway with. I was annoyed at how he felt like a plot device at the endthere--that he just existed to force Mike to have to kill him. It's a fault ofthe writing more than the character. Everyone could see the end coming from amile away, which is (as far as I can remember) unprecedented in the series.Even things that were heavily telegraphed and seemed obvious usually carriedsome sort of unforeseen twist, i.e. everyone thinking the lantern was going tobe involved in Chuck's death, but not knowing it was going to be a suicide. Thesecond they showed Mike building up a relationship with Werner, everyone knewexactly where it was headed. Also, this is a weird pet peeve, but I hate how healways called Mike "Michael". Bro, you've been working with him formonths, you are the only one who calls him that.

Fav line:(agh, unfortunately I can't recall any because I don't have any way ofrewatching season 4 at the moment. I love that he was courteous enough totranslate into English that he felt like he was going to throw up in the bumpyvan ride.)

brOTP: Him& Mike as cute old man drinking buddies.

OTP: Werner& his unseen wife, I guess. (That phone call before his death was so sad. I hope nothing happens to her, but this is the Breaking Bad Cinematic Universe, so bad things often happen to innocent people.)

nOTP: idk,Werner/Kai? I haven't really seen him shipped with anybody so I can't say Ihave any strong opinions on the matter.

randomheadcanon: (again, I need to rewatch all of season 4, because I remember thestory arcs, but not enough of the little details in dialogue and stuff.)

unpopularopinion: I have to admit, I don't know enough of what the popular opinions onWerner are to know what an unpopular opinion would be. I liked him, I just wishhis character arc felt less contrived and that he was treated like less of adevice. I also have seen some people in some places comparing him to Walt,which doesn't really make sense to me, because personality-wise they're justtoo far removed from each other. (Then again, people were even comparing dopeyPryce to Walter White, which was also a stretch!)

song Iassociate w/ him: I...I have no idea! Sorry. (So long, farewell, aufwiedersehen, goodbye?)

fav picture: the cute little drawings @callmcgills did of him! (Also, ugh, the shot where he is, uh, shot...is beautiful. Depressing, but cinematically beautiful. I’m not posting that here though.)

Chuck

Fav thingabout him: Honestly, as a fellow cowardly, anxiety-ridden, socially maladroit, perfectionistolder child, aspects of him are extremely relatable, frightening as that may beto admit. (My younger brother is of the slacker/moocher variety, rather thanthe con man variety, though.) I don't agree with everything he does, but I understandwhy he does it. (This is actually pretty similar to my attitude towardsSkyler's actions in Breaking Bad--I don't necessarily agree with her decisions,but I mostly understand why she acts the way she does.)

Least favthing: I think he should've been willing to at least put Jimmy on some sort ofprobationary path to HHM after he landed Sandpiper. HHM was under no obligationto hire Jimmy after he passed the bar (a lot of fandom seems to feel otherwise,which makes no sense! I don't think any other firm would've wanted to hireJimmy either!) Jimmy probably would've still managed to screw something up, butat least then if Chuck wanted to officially bar him from working for HHM forgood, Jimmy would know why, and what it was that he had done to cause that. Itdoes no good to punish someone if he doesn't even understand he's beingpunished, which is what the whole issue is in the first place with Chuck goingbehind Jimmy's back and using Howard as the perpetual bearer of bad news.

Fav line:"Because if there's one thing kids love, it's local printjournalism."

brOTP: lmao Chuck is bros with nobody except his space blanket, and his ol'sipping-scotch-and-chortling companion Howard, before that relationship gotdestroyed...

OTP: ...althoughI must also confess a SHAMEFUL desire to ship Chuck/Howard, because it's gotsuch a messed up power dynamic, because they've known each other for at least18 years, because Howard's clearly still so much in awe of Chuck (which Chuckprobably enjoys), and because neither of them seems to have any other friendsor close relationships. (Are we ever going to learn what's up with Howard'swedding ring? Even my mom thinks Howard is gay at this point! And what's upwith papa Hamlin? Did he die? Retire?) Canon-wise, I'm actually really curiousabout Chuck & Rebecca's relationship, because I have to wonder what it washe did that caused her to divorce him, but not bear any particular grudge oranimus towards him afterwards. He was clearly really upset about the divorce,but doesn't bear any ill-will towards her either. She doesn't appear to enteredinto any new relationship after the divorce either. It's all very mysterious.

nOTP: I can'ttell if this person was serious or not, but I swear I remember seeing someonepropose some theory that Kim had fucked Chuck at some point, and that's gonnaget a BIG NO from me.

randomheadcanon: oh god I've got like five hundred of them at this point. Themassive infodump that was Chuck's obituary in the season 4 premiere contributedto a lot of them, I think. I imagine Chuck's freshman year of college, at age14, was absolute hell for him. He was so proud to get accepted to an Ivy Leagueschool, but had been upset it wasn't a more prestigious one, like Harvard,Yale, or Princeton. (He had applied to them and had a few interviews, but unbeknownstto him, he had been heavily penalized in their byzantine admissions proceduresbecause, despite his sterling academic record, they didn’t find him outgoing or athleticenough.) His parents put him on the train to Philadelphia by himself, with afew suitcases, a map, and $50. He had no problems getting to the university,but was pretty overwhelmed right off the bat by the fact that everyone else wasolder and wealthier than him; he had dealt with this to some extent in high school, butnot to this degree (I headcanon his fictional alma mater, Francis Xavier HighSchool, as a typical Jesuit all-boys preparatory school that draws heavily fromupper-middle-class suburban families). Here he was, a literal child, thrustinto the adult world, and the world of the elites, at that. He probably feltself-conscious about things he hadn't even realized he could feelself-conscious about before, and spent at least a couple nights sobbing intohis pillow, and praying that his roommate couldn't hear him. He made a coupledesperate attempts to fit in, with a relatively low level of success (e.g. goingto a party and trying to impress people there by playing piano, only to get abeer spilled on him instead), before deciding it wasn't worth it and he wouldthrow himself singlemindedly into his classes and extracurriculars. He had hisfirst-ever panic attack sometime during his first semester, and wound up at thecampus doctor's office because he had convinced himself he was having a heart attack.On being told he was physically fine, he was indignant, but all the same, henever told his family about the incident, or anyone else either. Somewherearound this time, he also gets a letter from his parents, telling him he'sgoing to be a big brother in a few months, and won't this be exciting for him?(He wants to tell them his life is too exciting for him as it is, but saysnothing, instead writing back that he is sure having a younger sibling to helplook after will be the greatest experience of his life. He almost convinceshimself that he means it.)

unpopularopinion: I DON'T HATE CHUCK. (The most unpopular opinion of all!) He's myfavorite character on the show, with the obvious disclaimer that saying acharacter is my favorite doesn't mean I approve of all the character's actions,etc. Also, I know he's just a fictional character, but I'm still pissed offabout people celebrating that he killed himself & saying they hope it waspainful & stuff like that. Like, how much of an asshole do you have to be?What a horrible thing to say.

song Iassociate w/ him: Burning Down The House j/k, probably Faure's Sicilienne,because I too, cannot play it on piano without screwing up

fav picture: Not a picture, but I can’t resist.

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douxreviews · 5 years

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Outlander - ‘Man of Worth’ Review

"You dinna ken how worthy you are."

If I'm very very quiet, I swear I can hear the collective Outlander fandom starting to panic as droughtlander sets in.

I'm not mad at this finale. Not one bit. It may not have been as epic in scale as some others but it tied some things up and set some things up and delivered some exceptionally beautiful moments. I cant really imagine a better end for the season we got. Plus I now know exactly how I feel about Roger. Wins all around.

I haven't gone into it yet because I'm not sure how historically accurate it is but who ever was in charge of set design for the Mohawk village should get a raise just based on how beautiful it is. Everytime we're there I am taken aback by both the details and scale. Too bad we probably won't be seeing it for a while, if ever again.

How sad for Otter Tooth that he traveled all the way back in time to deliever a warning that he thought would save a people and a culture and they didn't even believe him. I mean, I'm not saying that running around inciting war dances and shoving scalps in peoples faces was the tact he should have taken but man. He and Geillis should start a a club in the afterlife. Maybe they already have.

The raid was an outright disaster and from what we know of people shunned by their tribes, the Native American woman that helped them isn't going to have a very happy life. I felt like Claire and Jamie should've offered for her to come back to the ridge. Or at least let her have the stone she was so desperate for. But hey, maybe they looked for her off camera and she was too good at hide and seek to be found.

The fight to get back to the river was exciting. It had me on the edge of my seat while Jamie's skill as a warrior and fighter kicked in Claire took down whoever got in her path (all while practically carrying Roger's useless body, but whatever). But it was for naught. They were severely outnumbered and surrounded and out of options. I find it hard to swallow that the Mohawk would hold on to Roger so stubbornly since he spent so much time disappointing them but can we give that Chief some kind of award for the amazing deal he struck for himself. He traded an injured fourth string nobody for an all-star that got through the spirit tunnel on his first try. Wow. Bargain master of the year.

I've stayed pretty on the fence with Ian. I liked him, I laughed at how naive and adorable he was. I even like his dog. But he was expendable as far as I was concerned. Then he traded himself to save Roger so that his uncle wouldn't have to. He even refused to run away and begged Jamie not to make him a liar. He stayed determined to honor his word and got himself expended and suddenly I miss him. Jamie is right. He really is a man worth very much. I suppose it would be silly to expect anything less. Ian has spent most of his life looking up to and emulating one of the most honorable people to exist. Of course he would have it coming out of his ears and his admiration for Native Americans has been set up from the jump. Out of everyone he could make a place for himself here. He found his clan. The whole goodbye amalgation ripped my guts out, Claire. Ian and Claire, Ian and Jamie. Even the fakeout Claire and Jamie goodbye was well done even though I was pretty sure what Ian was going to do from the second he decided it. You could feel that patented Jamie and Claire fire between them. It was beautiful and romantic and full of anguish and thankfully short lived. The emotional strikes just kept coming. Very well done all around. But that look of elation when Ian was accepted as a mohawk was worth the price of admission. He was so so happy. So I'm happy for him. It's as close to a happy ending as any other character has gotten.

Bye, Ian. I'll miss you more than I thought. Come visit soon.

And the there's Roger. I'm happy for Bree and all but I feel like she could do better. Way better. It's like when your friend gets together with their ex for the 300th time... Fine, I accept this. I knew it was coming but it's still very dumb. It's not that he's a bad person or that he hasn't been through a terrible ordeal. And hey, he did show up fir her at that the end. He's just such a whiner. He didn't even seem particularly grateful to be saved. Just slumped over and rolling his eyes and helping not at all during the attempted escape to the river but then had buckets of energy to throw into his fists at Jamie. And during his tantrum, he took no responsibility for leaving Bree alone in the freaking 18th century and only seemed to show emotion about it when he realized he couldn't cart her back through the stones to yell at her some more. Give it a rest, Rog everyone has been through terrible things. Hell, as far as Roger knows Ian just put his life in the hands of men that will be kicking the crap out of him for no reason for the rest of his life. He couldn't even mutter a 'thanks, bro'??

Bree was attacked by Bonnet? OMG, he totally forced me to sail up the coast with him. Guys a monster!!

I did very much like all the character beats sprinkled throughout that confrontation in the woods. Jamie took everything that Roger dished out because he was wrong for beating him in the first place but he wasn't so sorry that he could hide his anger that Roger didn't stick around to protect his daughter from Bonnet. It was written all over Claire's face that she was desperate for him to be the kind of husband for her daughter that Jamie is but was trying very hard to be understanding and calm.

While Ian was busy becoming a man and Roger was busy deciding what kind of man he wants to be, Murtagh and Jocasta had a slumber party. Possibly manh. The writers have been pandering to an eventual coupling since these two got on screen together and I am here for it. They did the whole thing so well, too. Even though I been waiting for them to get together i was still somehow taken by surprise when it happened. I love love love them together so much. Both opinionated and stubborn and crotchety and passionate. I loved every second of it. I loved that neither one would back down even though their words were obviously hitting nerves left and right. And the whole thing was bookended by food. At the start, they were sharing dinner and the next thing I know, hes asking her to skip breakfast. It felt like a glimpse of a domesticated life that Murtagh could've had. Or maybe symbolic of the life that Jocasta is putting in jeopardy. Or maybe they were just meals and I am seriously over reaching. It wouldn't be a finale review if I didn't make at least one mountain out of a molehill.

As Outlander finales go, this was tame as a kitten. Sure Jamie's been put in charge of getting rid of his godfather but investing in even the idea that anything could ever truly come between them is laughable. Their loyalty has been tested worse than this. It just wouldn't be believable to me for that bond to fall apart now. And now that Aunt Jocasta is on board (I think?) the rest should be cake.

It hit the beats I needed it to. There have been stronger finales to be sure but I don't how this particular season could've been tied up better.

3.5 out of 4 ominous stone necklaces.

Bits and pieces

Jamie's instincts are still so keen that he can feel the presence of other people in the woods. Once an outlaw...

Do we understand why Otter Tooth helped Claire find Jamie after that storm earlier in the season? Are they cosmically connected?

I felt a pang of sadness for the time. Ian keeps racking up people that he will probably never see again or ever get to say goodbye to. His parents, siblings, Fergus, Murtagh, Bree. It's practically never ending. He did get to say goodbye to Jamie and Claire though.

Where did Ian get the Mohawk version of Rosetta Stone??

I wonder if I will view Ian differently when I inevitable rewatch these past seasons he was in given my new found respect and love for the character.

I wonder if Father Alexander participated in the spirit tunnel??

All Roger and Bree do is flirt and argue and somehow I hate them for it. So far Murtagh and Jocasta have followed their example but somehow I'm fully on board. What gives??

Oh, and Bree had her baby. I wonder who his godfather will be. Who is Germain's for that matter??

Murtagh certainly has a type. As far as we know hes only been serious about two people in his life. Sisters that heavily favor each other. Interesting.

I was bumming a little that we didn't get to see Jamie's relief and reaction to the knowledge that Bree forgave him. But it kind of all read in the reunion. There was an ease to the family dynamic even though crap news was getting delivered.

No Fergus. No Marsali. Did they make it to the ridge? Is the pig still alive? Is Fergus a wanted man?

Murtagh: "Thank you for the roast. It's been a long time since I had a meal this fine. " Jocasta: "I imagine it's better than whatever they were serving in the jail at Wilmington." Murtagh: "News travels fast." HA.

Jamie: "I will come back to you Sassenach."

Ian: "You once said you wished me to become a man of worth." Jamie: "You dinna ken how worthy you are." I'm not crying, you're crying.

Jocasta: "How does it taste?" Murtagh: "Like home." Jocasta: "Whiskeys hard to come by in the new world." Murtagh: "Aye and I canna drink that horse phish they call rum." Hahahaha.

Jocasta: "I'm an old woman now, my wars are behind me and you should put yours behind you as well."

Roger: "Having me beaten almost to death and sold into slavery seemed a trifle extreme even for a woman with her temper."

Jamie: "You cost me a lad that I love and my daughter doesn't need a coward. I'd rather her hate me than for you to break her heart again. So make up your mind." Roger: "I need some time." Claire: "If you need time you should take it because this is our daughter so you better be sure." Would you rather face Jamie and Claire or a tribe of angry Mohawk Native Americans???

Laure Mack

#Outlander #Claire Beauchamp #Claire Fraser #Jamie Fraser #Outlander Reviews #Doux Reviews #TV Reviews

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