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dailyaudiobible · 4 years

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05/06/2020 DAB Transcript

Ruth 2:1-4:22, John 4:43-54, Psalms 105:16-36, Proverbs 14:26-27

Today is the 6th day of May welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I’m Brian it is wonderful to be here with you today as we move to the center of another of our weeks together. So, yesterday we began the book of Ruth, even as we ended the book of Judges and we talked about it being a breath of fresh air and…and it is. It's a beautiful story of character. Today we will conclude…it’s a short story…so we’ll conclude the book of Ruth today. So, we’re reading from the New Living Translation this week. Ruth chapters 2, 3, and 4.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You for Your word and we thank for this story, the book of Ruth that we have been able to enjoy over the last couple of days. We thank You for story of character and loyalty and uprightness because it's severely contrasted with what we've worked our way through in the book of Judges. And, so, we…we have this picture of what it looks like for everybody to go do what they want and over centuries what that does to people individually and collectively. And we have this picture here of uprightness, of goodness, of loyalty, of humility, of mercy, of not taking advantage. We thank You for this contrast between Judges and Ruth. We also thank You for showing us and beginning to set up the story that will lead us to King David who we will meet before too long. Thank You Father for ministering to us through Your word each and every day, giving us things to apply into our lives and hearts and to think about and to change and to repent of and to find comfort in. Like, You are constantly present and we thank You for leading us and directing us through Your word and we invite Your Holy Spirit to keep bringing up things into our hearts, into our minds, that we need to ponder, that You are leading us into as we move through this day. Come Holy Spirit we pray. In the name of Jesus, we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

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There are a number of links to stay connected to the different social media channels that we’re on. You can find those in the Community section.

There are resources in the Daily Audio Bible Shop. Check those out. We've crafted them over years to be companions on the journey through the Bible in a year. So, yeah, check out coffee that we have there, our own coffee and tea. Write down your journey. We’ve encouraged this many times because we see this precedent set in the Bible to not forget what God has done. So, we have the Daily Audio Bible journal and Blackwing pencils and all of that kind of paraphernalia, stuff that I use to journal with every day. That's there because it's so crazy how quickly we forget, you know, but when we've written things down, especially when we’ve actually written them down with our own hand in our own penmanship as bad as might be, we’re saying something, we’re witnessing, were testifying even if to our own selves God's faithfulness in our lives. And we have journals that we can refer back to. That makes a difference when things get pretty foggy out there and they do from time to time. So, yeah that's in the Daily Audio Bible Shop along with a number of other resources for this journey. So, check that out.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, I cannot thank you enough. I thank you with all of my heart. This is how the Global Campfire exists. That is…this is how we are here. Thank you for your partnership. So, there’s a link on the homepage at dailyaudiobible.com. If you’re using the app you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or the mailing address, if you prefer, is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or encouragement you can dial 877-942-4253 or just hit that Hotline button in the app, the little red button at the top and you can share from there.

And that's it for today. I'm Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hey, DABbers this is Mike In Awe in Kansas City Missouri I wanted to call in and pray against anxiety and confusion in relation to this virus. I think a lot of us have been going through it. I had a lot of anxiety at the beginning of this and I’ve really had to press into the Scriptures and pray and started ignoring all news related to it but I’m still doing my part like hand sanitizing and wearing a mask when I go to the store. Anyway, Lord, please bless the mental health of Your people Lord. Help us to increase, enjoy, in n wisdom, imagination, kindness, love, peace, purity, and patience Lord. Bless us with these things. Help us to see the truth that You are in control Lord, that You are all-powerful during this time, nothing has caught You off guard. Nothing is stronger than You Lord. Nothing can happen to us. You know us individually Lord. The Scripture say that You’ve counted the hairs on our head, and nothing will befall us, nothing will happen to us outside of Your approval. And help us to lean in on that Lord. Help Your Psalms 91 promises Lord that You will keep the us under the pinions of Your wings, metaphorically. Help us keep that in our heart Lord. Help that to resonate with us and become who we are Lord that we know that You’re our shield like David said, You’re our glory, the lifter of our head Lord. Bless us with joy abundantly during this time that we can see the trickery of the enemy and that we can rise above it in joy, that we can share Your life with others. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

Hey there DAB family this is Catherine the South African from Houston calling. I’m a little behind on my DAB listening and I had listened to April 18th today and I heard Val from Vegas. And Val am so glad to hear you, are doing so well and that everything turned out so well for you. I am thrilled to hear the joy in your voice, and you gave me so much joy. So, God bless you and I hope that’s…you just continue to get stronger and stronger. And then there was a lady called Good News Cindy I think and she called and really made me smile just thinking of all the things that she’s enjoying about COVID if there’s…if one can even look at it in that light. But it made me think about what I’m grateful for and there is so much, there is so much to be grateful for. You touched about having time to be outdoors and take…to be…take notice of things that you’d otherwise miss when you’re at work. And we’ve been spending so much time outdoors just appreciating how beautiful the area we live in is, seeing spring slowly come and…well…quite quickly in Houston, take over. But the thing that I most value is that the fact that my husband’s home. He’s been furloughed. I’m working from home part time and we just have this amazing time together and it occurred to me, the next time we’re probably gonna be sitting around, “what do you feel like doing today love” is probably going to be when we’re both retired. And, so, I encourage married copies to just love each other and just enjoy this time together because goodness knows it’ll probably be a long time before we get something like this again. I love you all so much family and I just love this podcast. Thank you, Brian, thank you everyone involved and all you listeners. I love you and pray for you.

Alicia from Pennsylvania calling. I just heard some woman talking about her daughter and I just wanted pray for them. Lord, just give that mother the words to be able to talk with her daughter. Her daughter had said that she hadn’t slept in four days and I feel like I can relate to that and just the amount of mental strain that that brings. Crying on the floor in the fetal position for an hour, like just reminds me of my teenage years. And my mother was so…I know…I know that those times weighed so heavy on my mother’s heart and that she would have done anything to help me. And I just couldn’t hear her at the time. And I want to just tell you that there’s hope. I’m medicated now for bipolar and I have never felt better emotionally and I would say the only main difference between her and me is that I have seen God work in my life and I just pray that she does experience something in her life that shows You that You are real and that You’re here in that You are with her Lord. Lord I just pray that You lift them up, just let them be able to put in Your arms all the things that they can’t explain that have happened to them. Lord just help them to put it aside and to find the silver lining and to find the love that does exist. In Your name I pray. Amen.

Hi Daily Audio Bible family this is Cindy the flute player. I’m just going to be straight up and not stay on here very long. I lost my job. I have not been able to secure employment and today I found out that I have to leave my…my home. So, I don’t have any words, but I want you to know that I appreciate this group, this family and I’m praying for you out there. Been fasting and praying and so, what’s Your reason? There must be a really strong reason why He’s put me in such a trial like this. I don’t know what needs to be cultivated or eliminated or…I don’t know…I don’t know a lot but I know that He really is our only hope. So, anyway, talk to you later. Bye.

Good morning DAB fam this is Stephen from Alabama May the 1st and I just want to make everyone…and praise God for this ministry. And I hope everyone realizes the value of this ministry, the incredible immense value from the insight that we get from Brian to just this week Miss Brown singing Mr. Rogers. I wept as well when I heard that. And Miss Brown I’ve adopted you as my third grandmother. My…my grandmothers have both passed on to heaven. And, so, I’m adopting you and I don’t know that we will ever leave this side of heaven, but I can’t wait to hug your neck in heaven. I also want to reiterate what Nicole who called in who’s gone through the incredible tragedy in her life and difficulty. I too, in the nine years I have been listening to the Daily Audio Bible, I’ve gone through…I went through about four or five years of…of failures in business. Our personal income dropped about 80% from where it once was. A couple years ago I had a virus, very similar…very, very similar to this virus that’s going around now. Caused me to have pneumonia. Never been in a hospital a day of my life. Had pneumonia. Attacked my heart. Gave me heart failure. About a year ago this month I had a pacemaker defibrillator implanted. So, through that all I was…God gave me an incredible amount of peace simply because I showed up every day and pressed play. And that’s my encouragement to you. Jesus said this life is still gonna be difficult, but if you will just show up and push play, Jesus…and Brian has done all the hard work. Just push play and let God speak. God bless. Love you.

This is an encouragement for my sister who is dealing with husband that is abusive and selfish and trying to take away the child that he said he never wanted. And I understand. I went through that myself. All I can say is that God is able to do so much more than you can ever ask, think, or imagine. After my situation was over God had provided a way for me to be the sole provider of my child and also gave me an amazing husband that I love so much. And we would never have been able to have children. So, it’s an amazing thing. God works through our trials and our battles are His battles. So, put on your armor every day. Gird your loins, expect to fight, but then just submit fully to the hand of the Lord and trust Him because He will deliver you. He is your deliverer. He loves you and your daughter beyond measure. May God bless you and keep you. May God make His face to shine upon you and give you peace. May He cover you with His pinions. May He protect you. May He give you outrageous strength and eyes to see and ears to hear above all the noise that the enemy is throwing at you. And it’s in Jesus’ precious and holy name I pray for you and ask these things. I love you. Treasured Possession.

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aftermathdb · 5 years

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DEATH BATTLE Review: Aquaman vs. Namor

Marvel and DC’s Aquatic kings of Atlantis duke it out in this Season 6 opener. Who will reign supreme, and who will end up sleeping with the fishes?- We’ll find out in the Season 6 premiere of DEATH BATTLE!

Woo hoo! It’s good to be back, folks! Man! It’s been a while. There have been a lot of changes. Like the new schedule for their podcast, the new location change of said podcast, and a whole bunch of other stuff like changing the Youtube channel name. With that said, let’s dive right into the first episode of the season.

Aquaman′s Preview.

We start off Aquaman’s lap by going over his origin story. And thanks to the new movie that’s been swimming around theaters, I’m sure we know his story by now. A good ol’ romance between the land and sea that would make one of the most remembered heroes around. The one and only, Aquaman.

With his origin story now out of the way, we can freestyle right into the powerset of the Atlantian King. And get used to those swimming, water, and ocean puns, because they’re not drowning out anytime soon.

And we even get to go over a lot of his powers about communicating to fish, though, not all of them…

(Don’t worry. Arthur got better).

And that “Clear” thing gets explained around here:

But there is one aquatic sea creature that he can’t mess around with, like his friend, Topo. Who goes from a goofy octopus to…

That.

But as it turns out, Aquaman isn’t just limited to sea life. He can also talk to birds and other less intelligent animals. And while he doesn’t have total control over humans, he can still mess with their heads and disorient them enough to win fights.

DAMN! Aquaman is scary when he wants to be!

But no true Atlantian King would be complete without his trust weapon of choice, his trident………s……… Please note the plural.

(Poseidon is in Boomstick’s hand, Neptune’s trident is in Wiz’s hand).

Aquaman also has plenty of strength feats to back him up as well. Like the time he lifted a ship comparable to the size of this thing thanks to his water magic:

And he’s got plenty more feats to back him up.

Now, blocking the Dead King’s scepter is an impressive feat. As that was the same scepter that sunk Atlantis in the first place. Since Atlantis is considered a continent, it has to be bigger than Greenland, the largest island on Earth.

Which, in simpler terms, means that the total size of Atlantis swims at about

836300 square miles! In order to sink or destroy it, the dead king Atlan would have to have managed to take down this much volume in one blow:

In order to do this, Atlan would have to have struck it with a grand total of

over 155 trillion tons of TNT! And Our boy Arthur blocked that!

But even with all of that power, Aquaman isn’t exactly invincible. He’s susceptible to dehydration, and his durability has limits (as we’ve seen with the piranha thing).

But he’s found different ways to work around that weakness. Like that one time where he used blood to refuel himself. And no, I’m not showing a screenshot for that. It might not be as bad as Elfin Lied, but I’d say that for a guy like Aquaman, one time in the blood pool is enough.

And the end line really should have been a line from Brave and the Bold. Literally any time he would shout his signature “OUTRAGEOUS!” would have been nice to hear. But we just get his word of warning from the Superman animated show instead.

Namor′s Preview.

We start off Namor’s lap by going over his origin story. And thanks to the new movie that’s been swimming around theaters, I’m sure we know his story by now. A good ol’ romance between the land and sea that would make one of the most remembered heroes around. The one and only, Namor.

Except this time, Namor would spend more time in the sea rather than on land. Basically, Aquaman is Surf and Turf, while Namor is just… Surf.

With his background out of the way, let’s delve deeper into his arsenal and powers.

(Wow… Never seen that before…)

Uh, anyways, Namor is also Marvel’s first mutant… Well, kinda. See, Namor isn’t the first mutant to be born, he was simply the first that Marvel introduced. This is because Namor is part Atlantian and part Mutant. Where the mutant part comes from is anyone’s guess, but maybe he just had an X-Gene laying around. This gene is what allows Namor to fly with those wings of his.

And Namor has plenty of other powers to fish for as well.

He can mimic marine life to copy their abilities. He can also communicate with other marine life as well, and his Atlantian education makes him a worthy heir to the throne of Atlantis.

He’s also got a trident named after Neptune.

Wait for it…

(God. I love the fact that I’ve figured out my screenshot editing skills. Makes things so much easier to work with).

Anyways, Namor’s trident isn’t just a fancy fish fork, it has hydrokenisis, mystic blasts, mystic formation, and can even animate objects.

And if he needs backup, he can use his horn to… Huh? What’s that (inaudible whispering) He doesn’t use it in the fight? (Inaudible whispering) And Aquaman doesn’t even call for Topo either? (Inaudible whispering) And now you’re telling me that we need to get to the feats?

Oh………

Y’know, the fact that they didn’t go over the Island Utopia’s weight kinda shows that Namor……… Probably wasn’t going to win this. I mean, tossing a 9000 ton naval destroyer is impressive, but when compared to the 255 thousand ton ship that Aquaman threw……… It’s not exactly reassuring to the Namor fans.

But, much like DC’s Atlantian royal, Namor isn’t invincible. He also needs water. Not to survive, but to maintain mental stability. This can sometimes cause him to be the villain. Though it should be noted that this isn’t how bipolar disorder actually works.

But as long as there is water left in his body, Namor will continue to be the defender of Atlantis.

And again, we could have gotten his signature battle cry of “IMPERIOUS REX!” From the 2006 Fantastic Four show. But no. Much like Aquaman, we get a word of warning from the 90s version of the show.

The Battle Itself.

Luis is lead on this fight, with Zack, Kiid, and Kayas helping out. Aquaman will be voiced by Kaiji Tang, and Namor will be voiced by Todd Haberkorn. Jerky is the sprite artist, as per usual, Kings of the Sea by Therewolf, Chris Kokkinos lead on sound.

I should also note that instead of his usual “Alright the combatants are set! Let’s end this debate once and for all!” Wiz now says ‘Alright the combatants are set, and we’ve run the data through all possibilities!” It doesn’t have the same feel of epicness that the previous line had. Maybe they’ll change it back, or maybe it’ll take some getting used to. But at least they kept the good old line from Boomstick.

“IT’S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!”

So, with DBC’s new schedule, we didn’t actually get the full audio for the fight. Shame though. Friday was enough time to not only see the battle, but to also gather enough questions for them to answer. Also, now broadcast can’t force Achievement Hunter out of the studio anymore with the excuse of DBC since they moved. But the just of it the story of this fight is that Aquaman does a splash in the pool, and it ticks Namor off.

So they do battle underwater. I should also note that the pool says “50 ft” which implies that it’s that deep. There’s also no “FIGHT!“ Soundbite. Which takes away from the overall feel of it. I miss that announcer. Hopefully, they’ll get it back next episode. Because that sound is something that I’d use for a text alert.

They even exchange a few fisticuffs in the air before crashing onto a beach.

And we also get to see a little Easter Egg too!

(Roshi rebuilt his house. Yay! (Commentary suggests that this takes place before or during that fight though, but I like my idea better mostly because it feels better continuity-wise))

And Namor decides to bring out the big fish, by using his animation powers to summon a few rock golems to do battle with Aquaman.

But Aquaman doesn’t drown easily.

So they take the battle to the water again, where both of them call their aquatic armies to fight. But Aquaman’s army is also backed up by the Clear, so they obviously win there. So they take it even deeper where they clash.

Oh. Right. The finishing blow.

5…

4…

3…

2…

1…

(Y’know, I tried to make this a gif, but the website I used didn’t want to use videos from the website. So it’s back to using screenshots).

Well……… That’s quite the predicament you’re in, chum.

Verdict + Explanation.

Well, both were evenly matched in terms of ability. That was basically a no-brainier. Comparing abilities on their own basically means that you could essentially flip a coin to determine a winner

Namor had wing feet, but Aquaman had magical flight thanks to his trident. Neither side really held advantages in any category.

But while Namor could win in some scenarios, Aquaman had more intense abilities to win out more times than not.

Remember how Namor could match Savage Hulk?- That’s an impressive feat of strength, considering that Hulk could lift a 150 billion ton mountain. But Aquaman could stop Atlan’s Atlantis-Sinking strike. Which had over a hundred times more energy put into it. It’s not exactly a 1-1 comparison, but Aquaman has more feats that back up his own strength.

Namor once kept Utopia from falling into the ocean. Calculating it, that means that Namor managed to hold up a little over 1400 tons of TNT. While the force Aquaman stopped was nearly 200 billion times more powerful.

And when it came to speed and reaction, Namor could catch the Human Torch, who breaks the sound barrier on occasion and regularly flies 140 mph on his normal days. But Aquaman has gone toe to toe with Wonder Woman on multiple occasions. And we all know how fast she is.

Aquaman also had the edge in the whole “Controlling sea life” thing too. While Namor could communicate and command them, Aquaman could dominate their will. And giving them a Clear fueled edge-up also meant that Namor was stuck commanding regular fish while Aquaman was controlling super-fish. This not only meant that Aquaman’s aquatic telepathy was stronger, but it also meant that whatever he was commanding was also stronger.

In the end, both fighters had plenty of counters and abilities, but Aquaman’s strength, speed, and telepathy made Namor fish food.

Overall impression.

I feel a bit… Unsure about this. Not only is the “FIGHT” soundbite missing, but we didn’t get Wiz’s usual “Let’s end this debate once and for all!” line. Don’t get me wrong, this is still very well-researched, and the fight was pretty fun (When you could see it, anyways), but the voice acting was a bit……… weird. Not bad, it took some re-watching to get the feel of it, but for first-time viewers, it would feel weird.

The rock golems aren’t exactly that great-looking either. This kinda feels a bit… rushed. Like we go the unedited version instead of the more polished version. If I’m right on this, and the polished version is out by the time this goes up, then sure. Let’s go. But the overall feel of it doesn’t feel like one of Luis’ fights. More like… a rushed product. It kinda hearkens back to the old Captain America vs. Batman fight that was also filler. Maybe it’s because they said that they planned this for last season, but this doesn’t feel like a strong start.

7.0/10. It’s not a bad fight, but it’s……… Unfamiliar waters.

Next Time…

Well……… This should be a mega battle. We haven’t had a battle royale fight since… the Kanto battle royale. Should be fun, though now I have to write in every single Mega Man.

I’m thinking X might have this, if I’m not forgetting anything about the other robots. He was built to be better than classic Mega Man, so… It’s a reasonable guess. But it looks like I’m going to need to find a way to differentiate later on.

Is there a fight that you want me to review? - Send an ask/request, and I’ll look into it!

Do you want to read my fanfic based around DEATH BATTLE itself? click here!

Thank you for reading, and I hope to see you next time for…

A battle of Mega-proportions!

#Death Battle #Deathbattle #screwattack #review

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jaime-leeunsw-blog · 6 years

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Mental Health and Mindfulness Activity Research

With us deciding which activities we will be holding in our festival, I decided to do some research on how the activities we brainstormed are used to help with relieving and reducing anxiety and stress (which is very common amongst our target group: students) as well as general mental health.

Meditation:

Standard medical treatments for anxiety are anti-anxiety medications, cognitive behavioral therapy, or a combination of both.

Anxiety disorders affect about 40 million Americans.

Therapy is time-consuming and expensive.

Anti-anxiety medications work fast, but are some of the most addictive substances around and are not intended for long-term use.

Latest research shows that meditation works as well as commonly prescribed anti-anxiety medications!

A regular meditation practice not only can reduce anxiety symptoms, it also can reverse the damage caused by anxiety.

Researchers from Johns Hopkins University sifted through over 18,000 mindfulness meditation studies to determine its most effective uses. They concluded that the number one use for meditation was anxiety relief.

Other studies support that meditation benefits mental disorders of all kinds including generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety, panic disorder, agoraphobia, depression, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, binge eating disorder, bipolar disorder and addictions.

Meditation can reduce rumination, even in those with lifelong mood disorders

Meditation Balances Brain Chemicals

Meditation increases the level of GABA (gamma-aminobutyric acid), a neurotransmitter essential for feeling happy and relaxed.

Feeling anxious, easily overstimulated, and overwhelmed are common signs that you might be low in GABA.

Meditation can lift your mood by increasing levels of serotonin, another neurotransmitter vital to happiness.

Meditation also reduces cortisol, a stress hormone that, in excess, significantly contributes to anxiety, depression, sleep disorders and memory loss.

The brains of people who regularly meditate show measurable increases in the amount of gray matter, the volume of the hippocampus, and the thickness of the cortex.

Conversely, the size of the amygdala, the area of the brain region associated with fear, anxiety and stress, decreases and becomes less reactive.

Meditation increases blood flow to the brain, improves neural connections between various areas of the brain, and enhances neuroplasticity.

Painting and Drawing:

Shawn McNiff writes in Art Heals: How Creativity Cures the Soul "healing through art is one of the oldest cultural practices in every region of the world," and "Art adapts to every conceivable problem and lends its transformative, insightful, and experience-heightening powers to people in need."

Art therapy is a distinct field and art therapists are trained and educated in both art and psychology

Making art enables you to feel and express gratitude by helping you to observe and see beauty where others may not. It also gives you an outlet for expressing some of your anger and frustration, as well as your personal political and world views.

Art can help you discern feelings and express thoughts that are difficult to articulate. Engaging with the arts and creating something is a way of engaging with and being in relationship with yourself, helping you to know yourself better. The process of creating art opens channels of communication beyond those of the purely verbal, dissolving barriers caused by words or our own internal censors, helping us to see ourselves, and others, more fully and clearly. In so doing it connects us more deeply to ourselves and to each other. If you are working in class with other people the atmosphere becomes one in which there is a mutual give and take of ideas, and a spirit of generosity. The creative process helps to create new relationships and foster existing ones in a positive productive environment.

Therapeutic Photography:

Therapeutic photography involves taking, analyzing and using photos for the purpose of personal healing, growth, or understanding, whether done consciously or unconsciously. By actively constructing, exploring and reflecting on photographs by pairing it with creative writing, you are able to learn more about yourself and how you see the world.

Photography can be a form of mindfulness (or present state awareness), similar to meditation, which is proven to help people suffering from depression and anxiety. Often when you’re taking photos, you can find yourself in “flow”, which brings many health benefits similar to meditation like calming the mind and providing relief from stress.

By creating photos that you are proud of, you can start to build self-esteem. Similarly, sharing your photographs and getting positive feedback from others can help you continue to build confidence and become empowered, which can help you become more comfortable expressing your opinion, thoughts, and story with others. A 2014 study found that those who took part in creating visual art had a significant increase in psychological resiliency. The neurotransmitter dopamine can be increased through this process, which can be lacking in those suffering from depression and has been found to immediately start to help prevent depressive-like behaviours.

A person’s perspective on themselves and the world can be gradually explored and changed through the process of taking photographs, analyzing them and discussing with others. Neuroplasticity tells us that our brain has the ability to change constantly throughout our lives and grow new connections.

People are using therapeutic photography techniques to help themselves and others overcome depression, anxiety, chronic pain and much more.

Zentangle Art:

Zentangle is known to many artists and craftivistas as a way to create structured designs through drawing various patterns. Basically, it’s a specific way to draw images, most often in black pen on white paper.

Zentangle has become an international phenomenon that now has applications in stress reduction, education, therapy and even motivational training.

Zentangle itself may be relatively new, but the basic principles involved are as old as the history of art.

It includes ritual [a core practice in ancient and contemporary arts] and mirrors the symbols, designs and patterns of numerous cultures [Mayan, Maori, Celtic, and American Indian, for example] from ancient through present times. And like “doodling” it is based on a human behavior in which one refrains from planning and allows lines and shapes to unintentionally emerge.

It Teaches How to Own Mistakes: Using a pen on paper requires that you risk making mistakes; in fact, most tangle art has at least some misplaced lines which cannot be erased. Tangling teaches you how to incorporate what seem like “mistakes” into the overall pattern of the design. It’s a great metaphor for everyday life—nothing is ever perfect, but how you adjust to imperfections [mistakes or the unexpected] in life is what really matters.

It Reinforces “Aimlessness.”: Many Zentangle enthusiasts highlight the tangle doodle process as a form of mindfulness. I like to think of tangling as a form of "creative aimlessness." Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh observes that we need to cultivate aimlessness in life rather than continually striving to be “number one.” Zentangle teaches us not to rush and to take good care of ourselves in the present moment—after all, the present moment is all there is.

It’s Self-Soothing: Repetitive creative work, in and of itself, can be calming and self-soothing. In fact, some of the preliminary research on the Zentangle process indicates that engagement in the process has measurable relaxation benefits. This is particularly true if you accept this process as one with no expected outcome other than the enjoyment of putting the pen to paper and staying open to whatever emerges.

It’s Simple: Zentangle art only requires a black pen and paper; you can do it just about anywhere.

Henna Hand Tattoo:

Henna, or Mehndi, is an evergreen plant. A member of the Loosestrife family, henna originally comes from Egypt, a country that is still one of the main suppliers of the plant. The henna plant typically grows in the drier climates of India, Northern Africa, and the Middle East.

The red-ish brown dye is made by crushing the dried leaves and then mixing the fine powder with other natural and acidic ingredients such as eucalyptus oil, lemon juice, or black tea.

Perhaps Henna's most well observed quality is it's natural cooling effect, which offers a delightful tingling sensation to the skin (similar to chewing spearmint gum and drinking cold water). Once this property was discovered, people of the desert, used henna to cool down their bodies. By making a henna paste and smearing it on themselves, they achieved an air conditioning effect.

Weaving Therapy:

Experts refer to the Relaxation Response: The rhythmic repetitive movements seem to put us in the present moment, quietening our minds that are so often full of busyness and distractions, and research shows that these repetitive movements have a powerful calming effect – both from our hands moving as well as the motion of moving our eyes from side to side.

Knitting involves a complex, bilateral and co-ordinated pattern of movements and it uses up a lot of brain capacity, which means the brain has less capacity to pay attention to other issues, so it’s a good distracting technique for people with chronic pain. And the repetitive movement involved in knitting enhances the release of serotonin, which can help people to feel calmer and happier. The rhythmic nature of the movements is calming and leads to a meditative-like state.

Besides the many physical health benefits, such as being a pain and stress reliever, knitting also connects you to a social circle and community of fellow knitters, and this is especially important in those who feel isolated, depressed, and lonely.

“Knitters produce objects that people enjoy. And knitters will tell you that just stroking their yarn cheers them up,” says a knitting devotee.

Knitting and crocheting is the one daily therapy and relaxation tool you can take anywhere with you – you get peace of mind…and a fabulous scarf!

#adad1002 #assessment3

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fashournalist · 4 years

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Regular Segment: Favorite stories [July]

I have not done this for a long time since I was not able to work from home right away when the pandemic began. [See previous segment here]. For sure, there were several interesting stories that I missed in the past four months, but I’m glad I now have access to these real-life tales.

From a 105yo gym buff, to a new compere crush, to a public marriage proposal, to a 95yo optimistic coronavirus patient, to inspiring reports on world changers, and hilarious programs, here are my favorite news items/comperes/programs/interviews/callers this month!

The Project, Three

This is a 30-min evening TV program in New Zealand with the tagline ‘News Delivered Differently’. In as much as I find monitoring TV programs difficult--and any New Zealand content harder than usual--I am amazed that the fusion of these two would turn out to be my favorite! As their tagline suggests, this show is not the usual info-overload TV bulletin. They have fun regular segments including Daily Dose, where they feature three funny random videos from the internet, Scenes of New Zealand, where they showcase interesting photos of the country, and Whip Around where they send three comperes in different attractions across NZ. Their comperes (Kanoa Lloyd, Jesse Mulligan, Jeremy Corbett and Josh Thomson) are fun and bubbly. Plus, they have rotating guest panelists, who are usually comedians. It’s just a breath of fresh air. This program has a counterpart in Australia, shown on Channel Ten. They interview many interesting people, not just politicians. Which leads me to my next item.

Interview with Shaun Robinson, CEO, Mental Health Foundation.

You can read more about this in the article entitled “Mental Health Foundation chief executive Shaun Robinson explains why bipolar disorder can be hard to see”

Before the interview, there was a report on Kanye West being diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. West broke down when he spoke about abortion during his campaign, and it was not his first public meltdown. His wife Kim Kardashian said West is a genuine person but he might say things that can get misinterpreted. Selena Gomez, Russell Brand and Mariah Carey also spoke about experiencing the same disorder. And Jimi Hendrix even wrote a song about it. Mulligan said Robinson is diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, and Robinson shared his story on how he reached out to people. Robinson said BPD is experienced differently by everyone who has it. He said for him, it was mainly depression and anxiety dispersed with occasional highs, while for others, it is more on the mania. I find it inspiring that he turned his struggles into something that can help other people. I salute all people who break the stigma on mental illnesses. He found success, he is now a CEO, and not just of any company, but of an entity that raises awareness on mental health.

Favorite host: Jesse Mulligan

He is my compere crush this month! Yes, from The Project. For sure you are not surprised. I mean, look at him, would you believe he is already 44!? In the past segment, the compere I featured was Jules Schiller of ABC Radio Adelaide because of our shared love for books and the Carpenters. Now, I’m featuring Mulligan. I don’t have much reason regarding our similarities, though, it’s just that I find him so handsome and he has an amazing personality haha. And obviously, I am just one of his several fans. Here’s a tribute written by one his stans.

Interview with Whangarei couple Lisa Grey and KJ Stowers.

This interview from The Project is about Stowers’ wedding proposal to Grey in the middle of Auckland traffic. He asked the question from a billboard!

But aside from I’m a hopeless romantic, the reason why I included this in my favorites Grey says she had a near-death experience two years ago and she thanks Jesus for saving her back then so she can reach this day. I’m amazed with how the Lord orchestrates events in our lives, as He prepares us to meet the people we have not met yet, be it future friends, future community we will help, or future partner in life. We just never know what God exactly has in store for us, all we know is that all those things to come are surely for our good. We just need to keep the faith and rely on Him, and live at the center of His will. So, uhm, Lord I am still believing for my Christ-centered marriage a decade from now (haha ehem) I used to say I will meet Mr 2024, but 2024 is too soon so let’s make it another decade haha. Anyway I might not stop talking about lovelife so let’s move on to the next item.

Interview with Gary Martin, Chief Executive, Australian Institute of Management WA.

This one is from 6PR. Its compere, Oliver Peterson, said ABC Chair Ita Buttrose has remarked that Millennials lack resilience and need hugs for reassurance. Martin said making a comment like that is not helpful and even insensitive, since people are experiencing a pandemic right now. What struck me the most was when he said “Millennials are more open to talk about their mental health problems and people confuse that with lack of resilience.” That’s very true. Isn’t it our strength that we can speak up about things that used to be hidden decades ago? There is still stigma on mental health today, but it was much worse back then. People could not speak up and had to keep it all to themselves. Just because we are open about it now does not make us lack resilience. In fact, it just shows how resilient we are because we bounce back despite all these struggles. Also, it’s just never good to generalize. There are people who lack resilience both in our and their generations. It depends on the person, not on their birth year. Anyhow, I find it interesting that the ABC has no article about this. Ha! Afraid to go against their Chair, perhaps.

News: Those with mental illness or disability are being supported by assistance dogs amid the pandemic, helping to save lives. Miracle Assistance Dogs is the only charity of its kind in NSW, but they can't keep up with demand due to the lack of resources. MAD is now calling on the Federal Government to offer a lifeline.

Interview with Josh Nanai, Jawsh685.

This is from The Project as well. Nanai, a Manaroa High student, collaborated with Jason Derulo and their song under Columbia Records was a number one hit in the UK. Derulo discovered the tune of Savage Love from Nanai's Jawsh 685 TikTok account. Nanai said he was surprised people liked the beat and people like Jennifer Lopez and Jimmy Fallon even danced to it! I was just smiling as I was monitoring this. My favorite part was when he said he has 16 friends who are proud of him, but he wants them to pursue their dreams as well. That’s a healthy friendship when you push each other up and inspire one another to make dreams happen. :)

Report on Trikes NZ

This one’s from The Project as well. Gosh! I must really love that program haha. I am touched with how Trikes NZ Manager Brian Gilbert is helping thousands of people embrace their freedom by giving mobility to those who could not walk. He has been designing custom trikes for people living with disabilities around the world. Luke Larnder, who is diagnosed with cerebral palsy, received a custom trike with the help of the Master Foundation. Dell has given Gilbert an XPS laptop for the change he is making.

Caller Russell and his dad, Vic Cornell

Last week, I monitored an emotional caller on ABC Radio Melbourne named Russell who said his father called him to say goodbye. His dad has been diagnosed with COVID-19 and is already 95yo. Russell ordered his dad to beat it. Rafael Epstein, the compere, interviewed Vic Cornell days after. Cornell urges fellow patients to fight the coronavirus. He also said he is a Carlton fan and he watched games at Princes Park. Days later, Carlton coach David Teague who gave a shout-out to Cornell! I mean it’s just touching to hear stories like this, of positivity in the midst of crisis. Vic was really ecstatic to hear the coach of his favorite team talking to him. I am really rooting for Vic to beat the disease. It is really different when you know the stories of each person, you’re reminded they are not just numbers. They are real people, someone’s loved one. I hope every case right now recovers.

105yo caller from Melrose

She said her secret is she just takes each day as it comes. It’s that simple but it hit me.

Last but not least, the 105yo gym buff!

Betty Kerr still works out each day until now. I feel embarrassed I am not working out when I am just a quarter of her age haha. As you can see, I am fond of stories involving centenarians, mostly because that is my dream for my Dad as well, that he lives for over 100 years (Amen In Jesus’ Name!)

So there, these are my favorites for July! Which one is your favorite?

Stay safe and God bless always :)

PS I sourced the photos from the articles, which are all linked here.

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brentrogers · 4 years

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Podcast: How Much Sex Is Psychologically Healthy?

If you were in a perfect relationship with your “perfect” partner, how much sex would you want? Three times a week? Once a day? Never? That number is your “magic sex number,” says today’s guest Marriage and Family Therapist Steven Ing. We all have a magic sex number, just like we all need to sleep a certain amount of hours per night and eat a certain number of calories per day to feel full. But if your magic number is far more or less than your partner’s number, there will be serious relationship problems.

How do you know what your magic sex number is? And how big of a difference can there be between partners? Tune in for an important discussion on how to have a sexually-healthy relationship.

SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW

Guest information for ‘Steven Ing- Sex Psychologically Healthy’ Podcast Episode

Steven Ing, MFT had a seriously messed up childhood. Like, mobster-father-shot-to-death-by-police messed up. So what did he do with this experience? He set out on a lifelong quest to study and better understand human behavior — why good people do bad things. He channeled this research into a Marriage & Family Therapy career with more than 30 years of clinical experience and 20 years of experience in forensic psychotherapy.

As a leading expert, author and public speaker on all matters related to sexuality and relationships, Steven is fiercely passionate about his life’s mission to shine a light on how society hasn’t even begun to really think and rationally talk about human sexuality.

Steven is a powerful ally to the LGBTQ community and a regular contributor to LGBTQ outlets such as The Rage Monthly and Adelante Magazine. His work can also be found in HuffPost, SheKnows.com and The Advocate. He was recently on the Betches SUP Podcast and is a TEDx Talk presenter, educating the masses on “Your Magic Sex Number”.

About The Psych Central Podcast Host

Gabe Howard is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives with bipolar disorder. He is the author of the popular book, Mental Illness is an Asshole and other Observations, available from Amazon; signed copies are also available directly from the author. To learn more about Gabe, please visit his website, gabehoward.com.

Computer Generated Transcript for ‘Steven Ing- Sex Psychologically Healthy’ Episode

Editor’s Note: Please be mindful that this transcript has been computer generated and therefore may contain inaccuracies and grammar errors. Thank you.

Announcer: You’re listening to the Psych Central Podcast, where guest experts in the field of psychology and mental health share thought-provoking information using plain, everyday language. Here’s your host, Gabe Howard.

Gabe Howard: Welcome to this week’s episode of the Psych Central Podcast. Calling into the show today, we have Steven Ing, who had a seriously messed up childhood. He channeled this into a marriage and family therapy career with more than 30 years of clinical experience and 20 years of experience in forensic psychotherapy. He’s a leading expert, columnist, author and public speaker, all on matters related to sexuality and relationships. He’s at TEDx Talks presenter, educating the masses on your magic sex number. Steve, welcome to the show.

Steven Ing, MFT: Hi, Gabe. It’s great to be with you today.

Gabe Howard: Steve, I first want to say that I absolutely love your bio. I think it’s important to just own things. And I like that you had a seriously messed up childhood because in many ways I feel like I had a seriously messed up childhood. And I believe a lot of our listeners are looking back on their childhood and they’re feeling the same way. And, you know, sometimes our guests, you know, they really want to tout their professional accolades, but they don’t want to tout their human experiences. So first off, kudos to you for your honesty.

Steven Ing, MFT: Oh, thanks a lot. I just think that, you know, for me, such a huge part of my motivation to help people because I know what it feels like to be in those uncomfortable family situations.

Gabe Howard: It makes perfect sense to me, and that vulnerability, I think is really important, giving that your subject matter is sexuality because people are often embarrassed to discuss sex and sexuality anyway. Now let’s talk about your TED Talk. The magic sex number. What is that all about?

Steven Ing, MFT: Basically, the idea is that we all have specific needs that we’re pretty much hardwired to have and that they aren’t subject to moral suasion or to personal appeal. Like, for example, the number of hours sleep you need to feel refreshed and also the number of calories you need per day to feel satiated. We don’t really talk about sex that way, but everyone I’ve ever interviewed and I mean, thousands of people had an answer to that question. Ideally, if you could be in your perfect relationship, that was perfect in every way. How often, ideally, would you like to have sex? And some people respond with the number at one end of the continuum and other people respond with a very different number. And that represents a range of humanity. We’re all normal and we’re all different. So we just don’t talk about this very much. We sort of presume, I think, in an egocentric way that when we fall in love with somebody, they will want us pretty much exactly the way we want them and with the frequency we want them. And that just isn’t true because of the range from one person to another can be quite serious.

Gabe Howard: When I think about a magic sex number, the first thing that I think is how am I supposed to figure mine out?

Steven Ing, MFT: Yeah, that’s. That is really tricky. And it’s actually trickier than I even thought it might be because there’s a lot of cultural and moral interference with getting an accurate assessment. If people have an idea that there’s a right number and that number is way too low or way too high, they tend to skew their number to what they think is more acceptable or more normal. And in the same way, a lot of people are preset to self-deception because they end up coming up with a number that mentally is actually the number they’d be willing to settle for. And that’s a very different number than the number that they ideally would like to have. So for me, the question is one of sustainability. If we’re serious about getting all of our sexual needs met in one monogamous relationship, then we need to make sure that that sexual relationship is at least a fighting chance of being sustainable. And if we don’t do that, we really haven’t done our due diligence.

Gabe Howard: One of the things that I’m thinking about is when it comes right down to it. How important is our magic sex number? Because it sort of sounds like you’re making sex the end all be all of a successful relationship. Aren’t there other things more important like compatibility and values? So how important is a magic sex number?

Steven Ing, MFT: It’s a little bit like arguing, though, which organ is more important, the heart or the kidneys, because the truth is we need it all to work together for us to survive and have a happy life. And then the same way, if I have the perfect relationship, perfect in every way. But there is a significant problem. It could be something like my mate decides to engage in compulsive gambling. That alone could destroy an otherwise good relationship. So if I’m talking about sex, most of us, we don’t talk about it too much, but we have an idea in the back of our mind of what our future sex life could be like. But we don’t imagine something like what happened to one of my clients when his wife came up to him after seven years of marriage and they had two children by that time. They were a couple in their thirties, and she announced to him that she would not be having sex with him anymore. And he was shocked and didn’t know what to do about this. And for the next 40 years, they did not have sex and it ended up disastrously for both of them. But he never, ever thought that he would be in that situation. And most of us don’t. But we don’t think it through like, well, what would I do? And well, what are my sexual needs? Because if if we think about managing our sexuality intelligently and we have an idea of our magic sex number. You know, for some people, it’ll be three times a week. For some people, it’ll be once a week or less. But whatever that number is, it’s what you need to feel comfortable. Otherwise, you’re facing a catastrophic marital failure where you end up getting so frustrated that you either have an affair or get a divorce or whatever that is. We’d all like to avoid that.

Gabe Howard: The first thing I thought of as you were telling that story is 40 years of no sex. That doesn’t seem like a marriage to me. That seems like a friendship. How did they survive? Forty years in a sexless marriage?

Steven Ing, MFT: For her, her discomfort with the idea of having sex with him was not replaced with anything other than a deep dove into alcoholism. So she relied on booze to get through the rest of her life for him because of his religious upbringing. Divorce was an unacceptable option. And I live in Nevada where prostitution is legal. And he never availed himself of the services of a legal prostitute, nor did he ever have an affair. Instead, what he did is he spent the next 40 years trying desperately to take care of his sexual needs simply through masturbation. And of course, that was not a successful effort because our sexual needs are far more complex and diverse than just orgasm alone. So even if I were, let’s say, masturbating as frequently as I wanted an orgasm, that’s not going to take care of my needs for companionship, conversation, humor and play. So it just doesn’t work.

Gabe Howard: I’m starting to think about our magic sex number and I’m thinking, OK, clearly if one person is zero and you’re at one, that’s too big of a gap. But maybe if somebody was at 10 and you were at 12, that might be a gap that you could work with. All of this to say, how big of a difference between the numbers becomes significant or becomes a dealbreaker? Now, I know in the story that you just told, apparently there was no dealbreaker. But myself, and I believe many of our listeners, would probably not be willing to stay in a marriage that was sexless for 40 years. And even in that story, it did seem like the outcome was disastrous for both parties involved.

Steven Ing, MFT: So typically, a magic sex number wouldn’t be a number like 7. It would be a number like oh, from 6 to 8. And that way there’s a little bit of give and take or leeway. And what we’re talking about, of course, I hasten to say this. We’re talking about the norm. We’re not talking about, oh, if my mate is ill or has gone through a deep tragedy and I need to be there for her emotionally or she is away on a trip or something like that. We’re just talking about the day to day typical marital situation. You know, clearly if somebody says 8 and somebody else says 11, there’s quite a bit of room to work with that. But I like your example of if one of them says once a week, that’s really comfortable for me. And the other one says zero and I’m looking at a lifetime of sexless marriage, that’s really not going to work. But actually, zero is the preferred number for a definite percentage of the population. There are asexual people in our population who quite sincerely want to have companionship and they want to have marriage and all the benefits of the partnership, but they’re completely disinterested in sex. And for them, an ideal number is zero makes perfect sense. At the top end, I have had people who are happily married because they found someone who is just like them and the number, their number was four times per day.

Gabe Howard: Wow.

Steven Ing, MFT: and then they shared that number in common.

Gabe Howard: I am stunned and it.

Steven Ing, MFT: Well, it’s.

Gabe Howard: Is this atypical? I mean, this would have to be atypical.

Steven Ing, MFT: I think what we need to all remember is that human sexuality falls in virtually every aspect on a continuum. I think that’s what we’re learning more and more about sexual diversity as we as a culture get more comfortable talking about sexuality. So the old binary of hetero versus homo even that has Kinsey pointed out back in the 50s occurs on a continuum. Some of us are more or less heterosexual than the person standing next to us. And when it comes to a magic sex number, if our listeners could imagine that a bell shaped curve that includes all of humanity and that one end, let’s say the left hand side of the curve would be the asexual who prefer a number like zero. And then on the far right would be somebody who, like my client, has an extremely surprisingly high number and they’ll be in that little shaped curve. The vast majority of us somewhere in the middle.

Gabe Howard: So once the two numbers have been established and they’ve sort of figure out where they are now, the partners have to negotiate and they have to discuss sex in a meaningful way. But that’s not the easiest thing for couples to do, especially if they feel that they’re on opposite ends of the spectrum. Many couples feel that if they don’t immediately give the identical answer, there is a sex problem. And whenever there’s a sex problem, people tend to shut down and get defensive. Why is it so hard for couples to discuss sex in a meaningful way?

Steven Ing, MFT: I think part of that is because nobody around us is having this kind of a conversation. So when we’re raised in our family, our mom and dad at the breakfast table, don’t typically read a newspaper story and then start talking about sexual preferences and ideal numbers. We never hear people talking about this kind of thing in church. When we talk the little that we do about sexuality and then even in sex ed classes, the focus is mostly on anatomy and physiology, how pregnancy occurs and how to avoid t.i.’s. And it really isn’t presenting sexuality in a human context relationship. So what I like to do with my clients, I like to encourage them to think about going on a date and eventually getting to some point in the conversation. And it could be a first date for the advanced or it could be something like the third or the tenth date. But eventually most of us want to ask the other person we’re interested in, so what are you looking for in your life? Which leads to talks about being single or getting into a committed relationship. And from there it’s really easy to ask. So what do you visualize your future sex life looking like? I know that may seem intimidating to some people, but if you’re seriously thinking about partnering up in a committed long term relationship and the person you’re dating can’t talk about sexuality in a safe way, that alone for me would be a dealbreaker. Because we need to talk about this before we commit. It’s like talking about finances before we jump into a business partnership. If my prospective business partner were very shy about talking about money, I think go look for another partner. And when we’re talking about magic sex numbers, I think what I would encourage people to do in that fantasy version of a date is to introduce the topic the way I said.

Steven Ing, MFT: And then looking at the uncomfortable expression on the other person’s face to say, tell you what? Let’s each write our number down and then we can turn our napkins over at the same time and share our numbers with each other. Because you’re quite right. You know, a lot of us approach relationships from a position of neediness or loneliness. And so if she asks me what my magic sex number is, I might be very tempted to ask her, well, what’s yours? I’m going to try to guess what it is I think her ideal number is going to be, and instead just to write down what we honestly think is our true number. Flip those little cocktail napkins over and then kind of blink at each other because the numbers are going to be closer or they’re going to be far. These things don’t fall into place automatically or without some effort at laying the foundation. So finding out, you know, we all know those stories of people who got married only to find out after long after the wedding that their partner wasn’t really of the same sexual orientation they were. And part of that was failing to have the appropriate conversations and making it safe for people to disclose who they really are. And some of that’s due to family pressure, some of it’s due to the crazy personal pressure we put on ourselves and for others it’s because of our religious upbringing. But even if we’re needy and lonely, we have to admit it’s not going to do any of us any favors to get together with someone whose appetite for sex is so much different from our own.

Gabe Howard: We’re going to step away and we’ll be right back after these messages.

Sponsor Message: Hey folks, Gabe here. I host another podcast for Psych Central. It’s called Not Crazy. He hosts Not Crazy with me, Jackie Zimmerman, and it is all about navigating our lives with mental illness and mental health concerns. Listen now at Psych Central.com/NotCrazy or on your favorite podcast player.

Sponsor Message: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.com. Secure, convenient, and affordable online counseling. Our counselors are licensed, accredited professionals. Anything you share is confidential. Schedule secure video or phone sessions, plus chat and text with your therapist whenever you feel it’s needed. A month of online therapy often costs less than a single traditional face to face session. Go to BetterHelp.com/PsychCentral and experience seven days of free therapy to see if online counseling is right for you. BetterHelp.com/PsychCentral.

Gabe Howard: We’re back discussing your magic sex number with marriage and family therapist Steven Ing. One of the things that always confuses me about our society is that when it comes to marriage, sex is so important that you must only have sex with your marital partner. However, sex is so insignificant and not important that you should not make sex the basis of said marriage. It’s kind of weird, right? It’s.

Steven Ing, MFT: That’s very weird.

Gabe Howard: It’s a bit, but

Steven Ing, MFT: That’s very weird.

Gabe Howard: But, this is our system.

Steven Ing, MFT: I think intuitively, I think you’re right. I think we know that it shouldn’t be the basis because that kind of reduces us to just a sexual object alone. But to deny its importance, I think, is really to ignore a major dimension of our experience. So obviously, I’m going to have some spiritual needs and some social needs and some financial and physical needs. But it would be odd if we if we talked about sexuality as if it were the one dimension of the human experience that had no needs related to it, because that’s just not true of any other part of our lives.

Gabe Howard: When it comes to understanding sexuality and relationships, I am obviously an amateur compared to you being an expert. And that’s one of the reasons that I want to pose this question to you from. From my point of view, as goes sex as goes the quality of the marriage. How do you as an expert feel about that statement?

Steven Ing, MFT: I have to agree with it. I’ve never said that sentence, but I think that the sex life is definitely a barometer, if you will, about the health of the relationship. And that goes deeper than we might think at first blush, because even if two people are having sex daily and they both agree that that’s the right number, but one is very present and the other one is emotionally checked out. That, too, is part of their sex life. Right. So that’s a real problem because sex itself is a metaphor for how much acceptance, affirmation, approval and affection. I’m going to get in that relationship. In fact, they’re so lined up that a lot of people substitute sex for intimacy and for intimate relationships because it’s so closely mimics those emotional needs that we’re trying to get met. But once you’ve been with a person for years and years and you can tell that they’re just going through the motions and they’re not really present with you. Like one of my clients years ago, she said, well, I don’t know what he’s thinking, but I know it sure as heck isn’t about me. And she told me that with sort of an acceptance of her fate. She was an older woman, but she was accepting yet miserable, if that makes any sense.

Gabe Howard: It does.

Steven Ing, MFT: Yeah, OK. She wasn’t comfortable with that answer. So when we when we talk about sex, you know, I have to add a P.S. or some kind of a note here, because usually when we talk about sexuality in a relationship, we’re talking about intercourse. And I would argue that that is only a small part of the sexual dimension of intimacy. And I think our sexual needs are far more and diverse than that. And they include things like simply feeling safe. You know, if we don’t have our needs for sexual safety net in a relationship, it’s a disaster because everything follows from that. And if we don’t have our needs for appropriate sexual information met in a relationship, we’re not going to be able to make very intelligent choices in that relationship. So our needs are pretty diverse. And again, a problem in our culture and it’s a major, major hole in our education of the young. How am I supposed to manage my sexuality intelligently when I have no idea what my sexual needs are? In our culture, we don’t really do this. It’s a very squeamish and uncomfortable subject for most people. It’s a question. It’s not like we’re foolish or we’re stupid. It’s just that we’re uninformed and we don’t have the vocabulary. There was a philosopher, one of my favorites from the 20th century named Ludwig Wittgenstein, and he said something that really applies here. He said, if I don’t have the words to describe a thing, then I really don’t understand that thing. And I think that is more true of sexuality than anything else.

Gabe Howard: It’s very fascinating to me that anybody would be uncomfortable discussing sexuality, considering how it permeates our culture, we use sexuality to sell gum, but we’re uncomfortable discussing what makes us happy sexually, even in the context of committed relationships, in the context of marriage. We’re uncomfortable about this, but there will absolutely be a woman in a bathing suit holding gum, telling you how, if your breath smells good, your chances of a sexual encounter increase.

Steven Ing, MFT: Right.

Gabe Howard: But talking one on one with a potential sex partner becomes very embarrassing. And it’s fascinating. It’s absolutely fascinating to me. And I imagine, again, as somebody who has studied this for 30 years, it’s got to be fascinating to you as well.

Steven Ing, MFT: Well, one of the things I’ve been just delighted to do is in my last public speaking event was with the American Advertising Federation, and they were just a great audience and very aware of the phenomenon you were just talking about in terms of selling gum. And that’s we reviewed advertising history. You see that advertisements involving sexuality are almost always about titillation. The pretty girl, the arousing moment, the suggestive comments or look. But when you get past titillation and I think titillation is great and I’m not against titillation, I think it’s an important part of our sexuality. But until we actually cross over to including the conversation on intimacy and what it would take for us to feel safe with each other, I don’t think we really understand sexuality. And I think it may be because we’re just simply not ready for it culturally. But I think as individuals, again, the people listening to this, they can get there. It’s just embracing the idea that I need to and want to learn to manage my sexuality intelligently, whether I’m committed to a monogamous lifestyle or I’m really into casual hookups or something in between. I want to do it intelligently and then to begin having conversations with intelligent people who are respectful and can listen to you without judging you. I think that’s really how we get smarter with each other is having these kinds of conversations like the one you and I are having, Gabe.

Gabe Howard: Steven, I really appreciate you talking to me and the audience about this, and I hope that more people will have conversations with their spouses and their partners about the type of sex that makes them happy and get all on the same page, because I think ultimately sex is great, right? It’s something that we biologically crave. It’s something that we’re all doing. And I feel that that can only be enhanced by having these conversations with the people that we’re having sex with.

Steven Ing, MFT: Yeah. Or the people were thinking about making lifelong commitments to. And I think it’s such an important conversation to have to accept that none of us are really very good at it. When we get started and to be patient with yourself, to let yourself take a little time, even if it’s just sharing a magazine or newspaper article or paragraph with someone and discussing that. So it’s not really about you and the here and now, but it’s about someone else just kind of getting your brain going into working on that I think would be enormously profitable for everybody out there who is a sexual being. Oh yeah, that’s everybody.

Gabe Howard: Steve, thank you so much for being on the show. Where can audience members find you? What’s your Web site?

Steven Ing, MFT: Super easy if they can spell my last name, I N G. It’s StevenIng.com. So if they just go to Steven with a V, StevenIng.com, they will find out more about me than they ever wish they knew.

Gabe Howard: Steve, thank you so much for your candid talk about sex and sexuality, it’s necessary and it’s needed, and I appreciate having you on the show. And listen up, everybody. I have a personal favor to ask all of you. Wherever you downloaded this podcast, rank us. Use your words and tell people why to tune in. It absolutely helps. Share us on social media. Email us to your friends. And we have a private Facebook group. Just go to PsychCentral.com/FBShow and sign up. You can suggest topics and get show details before everybody else. And finally, remember, you can get one week of free, convenient, affordable, private online counseling anytime, anywhere simply by visiting you. BetterHelp.com/PsychCentral. We’ll see everyone next week.

Announcer: You’ve been listening to The Psych Central Podcast. Want your audience to be wowed at your next event? Feature an appearance and LIVE RECORDING of the Psych Central Podcast right from your stage! For more details, or to book an event, please email us at [email protected]. Previous episodes can be found at PsychCentral.com/Show or on your favorite podcast player. Psych Central is the internet’s oldest and largest independent mental health website run by mental health professionals. Overseen by Dr. John Grohol, Psych Central offers trusted resources and quizzes to help answer your questions about mental health, personality, psychotherapy, and more. Please visit us today at PsychCentral.com. To learn more about our host, Gabe Howard, please visit his website at gabehoward.com. Thank you for listening and please share with your friends, family, and followers.

Podcast: How Much Sex Is Psychologically Healthy? syndicated from

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positivepsychologyinterventions · 4 years

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Podcast: How Much Sex Is Psychologically Healthy?

How do you know what your magic sex number is? And how big of a difference can there be between partners? Tune in for an important discussion on how to have a sexually-healthy relationship.

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Guest information for ‘Steven Ing- Sex Psychologically Healthy’ Podcast Episode

About The Psych Central Podcast Host

Computer Generated Transcript for ‘Steven Ing- Sex Psychologically Healthy’ Episode

Editor’s Note: Please be mindful that this transcript has been computer generated and therefore may contain inaccuracies and grammar errors. Thank you.

Steven Ing, MFT: Hi, Gabe. It’s great to be with you today.

Gabe Howard: When I think about a magic sex number, the first thing that I think is how am I supposed to figure mine out?

Gabe Howard: Wow.

Steven Ing, MFT: and then they shared that number in common.

Gabe Howard: I am stunned and it.

Steven Ing, MFT: Well, it’s.

Gabe Howard: Is this atypical? I mean, this would have to be atypical.

Gabe Howard: We’re going to step away and we’ll be right back after these messages.

Steven Ing, MFT: That’s very weird.

Gabe Howard: It’s a bit, but

Steven Ing, MFT: That’s very weird.

Gabe Howard: But, this is our system.

Gabe Howard: It does.

Steven Ing, MFT: Right.

Gabe Howard: Steve, thank you so much for being on the show. Where can audience members find you? What’s your Web site?

from World of Psychology https://ift.tt/2XXNK8Q via IFTTT

#IFTTT #World of Psychology

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erraticfairy · 4 years

Text

Podcast: How Much Sex Is Psychologically Healthy?

How do you know what your magic sex number is? And how big of a difference can there be between partners? Tune in for an important discussion on how to have a sexually-healthy relationship.

SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW

Guest information for ‘Steven Ing- Sex Psychologically Healthy’ Podcast Episode

About The Psych Central Podcast Host

Computer Generated Transcript for ‘Steven Ing- Sex Psychologically Healthy’ Episode

Editor’s Note: Please be mindful that this transcript has been computer generated and therefore may contain inaccuracies and grammar errors. Thank you.

Steven Ing, MFT: Hi, Gabe. It’s great to be with you today.

Gabe Howard: When I think about a magic sex number, the first thing that I think is how am I supposed to figure mine out?

Gabe Howard: Wow.

Steven Ing, MFT: and then they shared that number in common.

Gabe Howard: I am stunned and it.

Steven Ing, MFT: Well, it’s.

Gabe Howard: Is this atypical? I mean, this would have to be atypical.

Gabe Howard: We’re going to step away and we’ll be right back after these messages.

Steven Ing, MFT: That’s very weird.

Gabe Howard: It’s a bit, but

Steven Ing, MFT: That’s very weird.

Gabe Howard: But, this is our system.

Gabe Howard: It does.

Steven Ing, MFT: Right.

Gabe Howard: Steve, thank you so much for being on the show. Where can audience members find you? What’s your Web site?

from World of Psychology https://ift.tt/2XXNK8Q via theshiningmind.com

#World of Psychology #child psychology

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edsenger · 5 years

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2018 Top 10 Best Kept Secret Patient Leaders

There are thousands of Patient Leaders working day in and day out to educate, raise awareness and support their patient community. The WEGO Health Awards give us the chance to recognize Patient Leaders across all condition areas and platforms, to ultimately find the top Patient Leaders in each space.

To recognize the Patient Leaders community members endorsed, we’ve compiled the Top 10 Patient Leaders in each category. The Internet is a vast place, making it nearly impossible to find all of the amazing content that exists. For the Best Kept Secret category, we turn to the Patient Leader Network for recommendations of who we should be following in hopes of shining a light on the hidden gems of the online health community. Take a moment to follow these inspirational leaders and you’ll quickly realize why they’re a Top 10 Best Kept Secret…

Amber Wallace

Ostomy Patient Leader

Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

“Sup Ya’ll? I’m Amber! I have Crohn’s disease, and had a complete colectomy. I now live life with an ostomy bag, and a HUGE SMILE. I desire to use humor and lightheartedness to help educate and encourage other Ostomates. I want my YouTube channel, and other social media platforms to be a place where patients can not only learn, but be encouraged to live their life to the fullest. Life without a colon, and with a bag is pretty rad, and I like showing people that! I love Jesus, people, and queso dip. Check me out on Social Media at “Ostomy Diaries.” Connect with the 2018 WEGO Health Awards, Best Kept Secret winner Amber.

Kate Weldon Leblanc

Infertility Patient Leader

Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

Kate Weldon LeBlanc, BSW, MPA has been the Executive Director of RESOLVE New England (RNE) since January 2015. RNE is the leading voice and progressive driving force connecting the New England community on the many paths to parenthood. Kate has a strong personal and professional commitment to infertility. Prior to her arrival at RNE, she worked for the Center for Early Relationship Support of Jewish Family & Children’s Service, the Child Advocacy and Government Relations departments of Boston Children’s Hospital, and the Massachusetts Legislature. Kate holds a Bachelor’s of Social Work from Skidmore College and a Master’s of Public Affairs from the University of Massachusetts Boston. Learn more about Kate and RESOLVE New England’s mission.

Mike Durbin

Diabetes Patient Leader

Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

“I was diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure in December 2008 at the age of 24. I was also misdiagnosed with type 2 diabetes at that time when what I actually live with is a form of type 1 diabetes called LADA. I began my blog, My Diabetic Heart, at first as a way to document and process what I was going through, and later continued to write in hopes that it would help someone else going through the same thing to not feel so alone. Nearly 10 years later, I’m still sharing my story because it has touched and inspired people to strive to make the most of their health and life. I live by my mantra, “A Little Heart Can Do Big Things”, and hope to impart that message to everyone.” Connect with Mike.

Bev Late

Chronic Illness Patient Leader

Twitter | Instagram

“I’ve struggled with my health for years but my advocacy on a personal level is pretty new. In 2014, I shared my recent bipolar diagnosis on Facebook. My passion then grew stronger and louder. In 2016, I started a mental health advocacy project, involving a blog, social media & public speaking. In July 2017, I had a virus that triggered chronic pain which hasn’t ever left. Since, I was diagnosed with both fibromyalgia and endometriosis. I took a break from advocacy, but in May I came back bigger than before with a broader focus: chronic illness. I’m currently advocating with Instagram and in-person networking/volunteering while building a website and outreach plan behind-the-scenes. Do you advocate for both a chronic illness and mental health? Connect with Bev.

Dale Reardon

Disabilities Patient Leader

Facebook | Twitter

“I am blind (Charlie is my seeing-eye dog) & from Australia. I want to help people with disabilities worldwide. I have created the My Disability Matters Club to provide a safe, respectful & tolerant online social community for the disability sector – but not for just PWDs, also friends, family, carers & businesses. Other social networks such as Facebook & Twitter have bullying, trolling & harassment towards PWDs & disability issues – MDM is providing a safe alternative to let you leave FB. I want to spread the message of equality, diversity & respect for all PWDs. MDM is in need of publicity, sponsorship, promotion & investment to help thousands more so please endorse/support MDM today.” Learn more about MDM.

Kelby | Peachy Pains

Autoimmune Patient Leader

Twitter | Instagram

Kelby is an ambitious autoimmune advocate who is passionate about Health Public Policy. In 2008 she had to shut down the doors to her thriving event planning business because she was denied health insurance because of her pre-existing condition – Ankylosing Spondylitis (a form of autoimmune arthritis). “This nomination means so much to me because I love spreading awareness about autoimmune diseases, not only through patient organizations, but personally too. I love cheering on other fellow advocates and patients alike in their successes – everything from recovering from surgery, to achieving wellness goals, to having their Representative sign onto a bill.” Follow Kelby.

Whitney Carter

Chronic Illness Patient Leader

Facebook | Instagram

“My life changed in 2011 when I was diagnosed with Lupus at the age of 14. I was later diagnosed with CNS Lupus, meaning that my own body was attacking my central nervous system. I was immediately started on Plasmapheresis followed by Cytoxan and Rituxan, chemotherapy drugs typically used in cancer patients. Due to treatments and cognitive issues, I had to stop high school. Later, I was also diagnosed with Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS), Epilepsy, CSF Leaks, and Autoimmune Autonomic Ganglionopathy. These diseases have changed my life, but they have also given me a passion for patient advocacy. Some ways I advocate are through my blog, instagram, facebook page, and support groups.” Click here to see Whitney’s nominee profile.

Mila Clarke Buckley

Diabetes Patient Leader

Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

“One day, I wasn’t feeling too well. That day turned into weeks, and then into months. I finally took myself to the doctor to get a good answer. I neglected myself for a long time – something I should never have done. In just a moment, it felt like the world stopped. I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. I searched for resources online, but I discovered that there weren’t many people my age writing about how they deal with having type 2 diabetes, so I decided to share my experience and my progress and help others deal with a life-changing diagnosis and change a long-existing stigma about this chronic illness.” Connect with Mila.

Triage Cancer

Cancer Patient Leaders

Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

Triage Cancer is a national, nonprofit organization that provides education on the practical and legal issues that may impact individuals diagnosed with cancer and their caregivers, through events, materials, and resources. Cancer care is expensive and those costs pose a serious challenge to those diagnosed with cancer and their families. Educating people about their rights and options under the law (e.g., access to reasonable accommodations, paid leave options, disability insurance benefits, health insurance options, health insurance appeals, etc.) may assist in mitigating financial toxicity. Ultimately, Triage Cancer helps people move beyond diagnosis. Learn more about Triage Cancer.

Asha Brown

Diabetes Patient Leader

Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

Asha Brown is the Founder and Executive Director of We Are Diabetes, where she works with families, patients, and health professionals across the USA. She uses her personal experiences with ED-DMT1 to offer hope and support to those still struggling. She also establishes relationships with eating disorder treatment programs and diabetes organizations across the county to help connect people to appropriate care. Asha has presented at NEDA, AADE, and JDRF, among others. We Are Diabetes has been recognized as a national support resource by the American Academy of Diabetes Educators and the National Eating Disorder Association. Connect with Asha and learn more about We Are Diabetes.

Well, we’re glad the secret is out because these Patient Leaders are too tremendous not to share!

Looking for new Patient Leader inspiration on Instagram? Follow the Top 10 Best In Show: Instagram

The post 2018 Top 10 Best Kept Secret Patient Leaders appeared first on WEGO Health.

2018 Top 10 Best Kept Secret Patient Leaders published first on https://brightendentalhouston.weebly.com/

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lauramalchowblog · 5 years

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2018 Top 10 Best Kept Secret Patient Leaders

Amber Wallace

Ostomy Patient Leader

Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

Kate Weldon Leblanc

Infertility Patient Leader

Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

Mike Durbin

Diabetes Patient Leader

Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

Bev Late

Chronic Illness Patient Leader

Twitter | Instagram

Dale Reardon

Disabilities Patient Leader

Facebook | Twitter

Kelby | Peachy Pains

Autoimmune Patient Leader

Twitter | Instagram

Whitney Carter

Chronic Illness Patient Leader

Facebook | Instagram

Mila Clarke Buckley

Diabetes Patient Leader

Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

Triage Cancer

Cancer Patient Leaders

Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

Asha Brown

Diabetes Patient Leader

Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

Well, we’re glad the secret is out because these Patient Leaders are too tremendous not to share!

Looking for new Patient Leader inspiration on Instagram? Follow the Top 10 Best In Show: Instagram

The post 2018 Top 10 Best Kept Secret Patient Leaders appeared first on WEGO Health.

2018 Top 10 Best Kept Secret Patient Leaders published first on https://venabeahan.tumblr.com

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jesseneufeld · 5 years

Text

2018 Top 10 Best Kept Secret Patient Leaders

Amber Wallace

Ostomy Patient Leader

Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

Kate Weldon Leblanc

Infertility Patient Leader

Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

Mike Durbin

Diabetes Patient Leader

Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

Bev Late

Chronic Illness Patient Leader

Twitter | Instagram

Dale Reardon

Disabilities Patient Leader

Facebook | Twitter

Kelby | Peachy Pains

Autoimmune Patient Leader

Twitter | Instagram

Whitney Carter

Chronic Illness Patient Leader

Facebook | Instagram

Mila Clarke Buckley

Diabetes Patient Leader

Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

Triage Cancer

Cancer Patient Leaders

Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

Asha Brown

Diabetes Patient Leader

Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

Well, we’re glad the secret is out because these Patient Leaders are too tremendous not to share!

Looking for new Patient Leader inspiration on Instagram? Follow the Top 10 Best In Show: Instagram

The post 2018 Top 10 Best Kept Secret Patient Leaders appeared first on WEGO Health.

2018 Top 10 Best Kept Secret Patient Leaders published first on https://drugaddictionsrehab.tumblr.com/

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djsamaha-blog · 7 years

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Gallatin, Tennessee: The Town That Rose Above Tragedy to Become the Nicest Place in America

Reader's Digest Gallatin, Tennessee Is the Reader's Digest Nicest Place in America 2017 The inspiring story of the kind and caring people of Gallatin, Tennessee. April 6, 2016, James Spray, a white police officer in Gallatin, Tennessee, responded to a call about an eviction going bad. When he got out of the car, he encountered Laronda Sweatt, an African American woman, who was coming at him with a battle axe. He drew his gun as he backed up, shouting at her to drop the weapon. She continued to advance. He continued to retreat until stumbling into another squad car that had pulled up behind him. Back against a wall, he shot twice. She went down. It all happened in 11 seconds. Just 20 months after protests erupted in Ferguson, Missouri over the killing of an unarmed African American man by police, what seemed at first like a similar injustice threatened to tear Gallatin apart. The small city of 40,000 was one of the last to integrate in the South and some of its African American residents, 15 percent of the population, have memories of those dark days. Leaders in the African American community recall a tense mood of sadness, anger, confusion, and questions. They immediately started pressing the police department and city government for answers. “We wanted to know everything from A-to-Z: what happened, why it happened, could it have been avoided, did the officer act improperly and if so what would the consequence be?” said Pastor Derrick Jackson, who leads Gallatin’s First Baptist Church, an African American congregation founded over 150 years ago by an ex-slave. “And we weren’t going to accept what occurred without investigating it ourselves.”

What the investigation revealed is that Gallatin is not like Ferguson. Fast action by the town’s police chief, its mayor and other leaders like Jackson turned what could have been a protest into a prayer vigil. Gallatin considered the incident “prayerfully and proactively,” said Jackson. Nearly 100 residents and community leaders met in July to be together and to pray. Here’s the question: With racial tensions in America higher than they’ve been in decades, with civility in our public square in retreat, how? What makes Gallatin different? The answer stems from the full story of Gallatin, a story that has been years in the making and will restore your faith in America. Gallatin—a town of Southern charm, a town of giving and charity, a town of faith, prayer and an earnest desire to do better—is our Nicest Place in America for 2017. The choir of the First Baptist Church, which was formed more than 150 years ago.

The Story of Gallatin

Founded in 1802, Gallatin is a farm-community-turned-suburb nestled against Old Hickory Lake in the Cumberland River valley. Subdivisions now bloom where crops once grew, ringing an old town square dignified by stately brick buildings and a regal county courthouse. Twenty years ago, it was a sleepy community of under 10,000 residents and downtown businesses worked hard to stay afloat. Now, nearing 40,000, Gallatin’s 30-minute proximity to booming Nashville has given the town new life. Investors have moved in to develop downtown commercial real estate. Houses are springing up almost as fast as people from all over the country can move into them, and a hip new coffee shop in one of the town square’s premier buildings, just renovated to accommodate a wide range of new commercial enterprises, is a symbol of what’s become of this former small town. (Don’t miss these 21 small towns, which are some of the nicest places to visit in the country.)

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Like many towns of its size in the South, smiling and waving to passersby and rolling out the welcome mat to strangers is par for the course. But that’s just a small part of what makes Gallatin the Nicest Place in America. Today, Gallatin is fairly diverse, with about three quarters of the population white, about 15 percent African American, and the rest of mix of Latino, Romanian and Sudanese, the latter a community welcomed in the 1990s when Gallatin High was one of the only in the country to accept the refugees as students, many of them older and lacking in English skills. Fred Bailey (seated) feels the love from Children Are People students.

New People, New Ideas

“Back in the day when I was coming up, it was a ‘know your place’ kinda thing,” said Fred Bailey, the head of a local nonprofit that helps disadvantaged children learn life skills. Bailey grew up as one of 15 children, his parents sharecroppers. He was born blind but went undiagnosed until the third grade. After a career at General Electric and as a wrestling coach, Bailey went on to found Children Are People, which has helped over 600 local children learn to work hard and build their personal characters. “Now you’ve got people moving in here from New York, California, everywhere,” Bailey said, “and they exemplify Martin Luther King’s attitude: judge someone by their character. Gallatin is about that now.” Sons and daughters of the town are making an impact, too. Perhaps none more important than Police Chief Don Bandy. A turning point for Gallatin was 2011, when Bandy was named chief. He replaced a predecessor who believed in policing by numbers and who stepped down shrouded in scandal and under investigation by state authorities. Velma Brinkley, an African American activist and historian, recalls inviting patrol officers to the ribbon cutting for a new business her god-daughter was opening. She was floored when not only did they show up but Bandy came as well. They celebrated the opening of a new hair salon together. “Years past, I would not have invited the police to anything, not to mention to a ribbon-cutting,” said Brinkley. Bandy is hesitant to criticize his predecessor but has a different way of doing things. His strategy is to have his force get to know everyone in the community. “When you make yourself friendly, you have a better chance of making a friend,” he said. “You have to go across the aisle and say, I want you to be part of us and I want to be a part of what you’re doing.” Bandy has his officers attend dozens of local events, and he is adding more every year. When tensions spiked, Mayor Paige Brown, Pastor Derrick Jackson, and Chief Don Bandy (from left) kept the peace.

Tragedy Shows the True Grit of Gallatin

Police work in Gallatin is not all cookouts and basketball games. Sometimes it’s difficult moments, like when Officer James Spray pulled up in his squad car to the house of Laronda Sweatt on April 6, 2016.

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Following the shooting, residents, leaders, and activists were on edge, saddened and angered by the death. The local district attorney immediately opened an investigation. “I called the D.A. and said I wanted to release the video,” Bandy recalled. “He said he wanted to do a press conference and I said, ‘this town can’t wait for that.’” The day following the shooting, Bandy called on the mayor, Paige Brown, and leaders in the African American community to view the footage. He told them that as soon as they saw it, he was going to release it to the public. The raw footage is disturbing and hard to watch. Because it’s from a body cam, it is from your point of view. The 11 heart-pounding seconds have been watched over 100,000 times on YouTube alone. For a community like Gallatin, for America as a whole, there are questions we are still seeking to answer about the injustice of poverty and the difficulty of getting good treatment to mental illness for everyone who needs it. Laronda Sweatt, who had been a nurse and was “the best mother,” according to her daughter, suffered from bipolar disorder and was on medication. But the video and evidence gathered in an investigation following the shooting clearly showed that, in that moment, the police officer served to the best of his ability. Gallatin residents and community leaders, white and African American, who viewed the video all told Reader’s Digest the same thing: the loss of life was heartbreaking, but the police officer did what he had to do in that moment.

The loss of life was heartbreaking, but the police officer did what he had to do in that moment.

What seemed like it might have been an injustice was merely tragedy. In responding to the local district attorney’s decision to not press charges, Chief Bandy channeled the sentiments of the town in The Tennessean, “You still have a family that has lost a loved one you’ve got a police officer that has taken a life in his line of duty. It’s a very tragic and unfortunate incident.” Then the town leaders did the only thing that made sense to them. They had a prayer vigil in the square. Nearly 100 residents, including 20 police officers and nine pastors, five white and four black, gathered to talk and to pray. “Over the last few days, we’ve seen some tragic events unfold that simply devastated us,” said Tiffany Hammock, a Gallatin resident. “As I look into this crowd tonight, I am reminded that we are all called to be builders of our community. We have to start with respect. We all may be different, but we all feel the same—that we need to unite to make our communities safe and productive.” Chief Bandy also spoke. “We’re trying. Are we perfect? No, we’re not. But God has his hand on us, and we’ve got God-fearing people here,” he said. It’s a time and an event that all remember as bringing the town closer together. It was both a symbol of how far Gallatin has come as well as a catalyst for more progress.

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“The prayer vigil brought a sense of peace to the community,” said Onnessia Head, a school teacher in Gallatin and an African American who is also active in the nonprofit community. “Seeing the cam footage, you put yourself in the position of the police officer. You feel for both sides.” In Gallatin, there’s a well-maintained church on every block. Prayer is how this community heals. Recently, Bandy was even asked to preach an hour at one of the African American churches. “There was never a little blue book that told me what steps to take,” said Bandy. “We’re servants and should have a servant’s attitude. That’s what Gshaod asked in the Bible. We’re here to work for these people.” Sounds good, but it’s not just talk. “He’s a product of the community and that makes a difference,” said Head, the school teacher. “His kids go to school with my kids.” Newcomers and natives worked together to revitalize the town square. Clay Haynes (seated) and (from left), Onnessia Head, Velma Brinkley, P.J. Davis.

Charity and Creative Kindness

In addition to Children Are People, Gallatin is a hub of nonprofit and charity work. The town is home to a Shalom Zone, one of 200 in the world and the largest, both by number of organizations served and physical size. The Shalom Zone’s mission is to provide below-market rent for nonprofit offices and meeting spaces. Gallatin’s Shalom Zone is located in what once was a high school reserved for African Americans only. The building no longer served a purpose following forced desegregation in 1971. Gallatin was one of the last places in America to integrate. Where there were once classrooms and teachers’ lounges for a separated and subjugated population now are modestly renovated suites for non-profit workers, volunteers and those they serve. “We acquired this school from the county 10 years ago for $1,” said P.J. Davis, the Shalom Zone’s executive director. “We do career development, we have a mentoring program and we’re a catalyst for other nonprofits in the area. We have 130 on our roster.” A small corner suite serves as the modest headquarters of the Sudanese Youth Connection, an organization that helps the Sudanese community in Gallatin acclimate and get education. Its founder, Tut Rut, has been a Tennessee resident since 1995 when he fled government-sponsored violence in his village. Beneath a poster of Martin Luther King and a small sign that says “Peace,” Rut recalled how attackers burned villagers alive and bayonetted the elders. Gallatin has welcomed the Sudanese. “I’m so blessed,” he said. “The town is very good for us. I don’t see any kind of discrimination. We feel like this is our home now.” Residents who want to help come and go freely. One, Laura Riley, a transplant from New York who was born in Puerto Rico, is working on helping the local Hispanic community. “I wanted to start conversations about a couple of things very important to me,” she said. “Education, nutrition, physical fitness and citizenship.”

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Soon, the Shalom Zone will be able to welcome even more charity under its roof. Only part of the school has been rehabilitated. Studies are now being done on which parts of the building to invest in next. Davis walks the halls with pride, showing off the server room and new linoleum floors in a recently finished suite. A transplant from Akron, Ohio, Davis has pride for the town and how it’s changing. “We’re seeing generational change. The generations are slowly changing,” she said. A local teen generated nationwide media coverage last year when she raised thousands of dollars to make the Christmas wish of a mentally challenged child in the area come true. Gabby Howell, 12, suffers from a rare disease that has limited her capacities and gives her seizures. When asked what she wanted for Christmas, she said, “A real school bus.” Jessi Smith, a student at Gallatin High and a former student of Amy Howell’s, Gabby’s mom, got wind of this and Operation Christmas Bus was born. She raised money to buy an old bus that was rusting out in the woods. Then, with the help of her fellow students as well as folks around town, she renovated it into a playroom and hangout spot that any kid would love. On Christmas Eve, the bus was towed to the Howell’s rural home, with Santa Claus at the wheel. Gabby ran to Santa, saying through tears, “I love you, Santa.” Gabby Howell (in front of the bus), Amy Howell (seated, below) and Jessi Smith (seated, on the bus) with the Operation Christmas Bus crew The teens visit the bus regularly, checking in on things that need fixing, improvements that can be made, and spending time playing with Gabby. “It was just so sweet,” said Gabby’s mother. “To see that they want to give back like that—they don’t want to do it for the glory. They want to do it because they love you.” (Read up on 21 other random acts of kindness that will truly warm your heart.) This is all part of the new Gallatin, according to Mayor Brown, who nominated Gallatin for Nicest Place in America. Acts of kindness are the norm, she says. For instance, when a beloved local pastor was stricken with cancer, residents raised thousands of dollars. When area charities need transportation, a local business owner lends them the busses he rents to Nashville stars. Today, Gallatin is a community that everyone takes pride in like never before. Police Chief Bandy has spent his whole life in Gallatin and he worries every day about living up to the pride of his neighbors. “Being a part of this community, growing up in it, I don’t want to let the citizens down,” he said. With Gallatin and its new wave, “it’s like night and day,” said Pastor Jackson, adding, “the beauty about Gallatin is that there is an attempt to do what others feel is impossible.” Bill Hangley contributed to the reporting of this story. Read more at Reader's Digest

http://www.successwize.com/?p=2110

#culture #inspiration #inspiringstories #nicest

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positivepsychologyinterventions · 5 years

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Podcast: Being a Professional Musician with Bipolar Disorder

There are a huge number of individuals with mental illnesses who have successful, fulfilling careers, despite the setbacks of their illnesses. In this episode, we’re joined by Erika Nielsen, a professional cellist, who shares the story of her diagnosis, the changes she had to make in her life, what it was like “coming out” as having bipolar disorder, and much more.

Subscribe to Our Show! And Remember to Review Us!

About Our Guest

Erika Nielsen is a Canadian cellist, writer, and artist based in Toronto. Erika has a multi-faceted career as a chamber musician, collaborative artist, orchestral player and educator, with a musicianship that spans from Baroque and Classical traditions to contemporary and popular genres. She has performed with artists such as Kanye West and Johnny Reid, and is a graduate of The Glenn Gould School and Queen’s University.

Erika is the author of new bestselling memoir and self-care manual SOUND MIND: My Bipolar Journey from Chaos to Composure (Trigger Publishing, 2019) which is #1 on Amazon in its category. She is also a visual artist; a blog contributor to BPhope.com and Psychology Today, and is also the author of wellness and mental health blog soundmindbook.com. A passionate educator, she maintains a busy private studio and is on faculty at National Music Camp of Canada. Erika lives in Toronto with her husband. You can find her at celloerika.com, and on Instagram and Twitter @celloerika #cellistartistwriter

CELLIST SHOW TRANSCRIPT

Editor’s Note: Please be mindful that this transcript has been computer generated and therefore may contain inaccuracies and grammar errors. Thank you.

Narrator 1: Welcome to the Psych Central show, where each episode presents an in-depth look at issues from the field of psychology and mental health – with host Gabe Howard and co-host Vincent M. Wales.

Gabe Howard: Hello, everyone, and welcome to this week’s episode of the Psych Central Show Podcast. My name is Gabe Howard and I’m here with my fellow host Vincent M. Wales and today Vince and I will be talking to Erika Nielsen who is the author of Sound Mind: My Bipolar Journey from Chaos to Composure. She is a professional cellist and a writer who lives in Toronto which is in Canada. Erika welcome to the show.

Erika Nielsen: Thank you so much Gabe and Vin. It’s such an honor to be here.

Gabe Howard: Well we are glad to have you, thank you.

Vincent M. Wales: We’re glad to have you. So, Erika, first I want to say that, holy cow, I envy you for being a professional musician. That had been a dream of mine is as a young man and didn’t quite hit it.

Erika Nielsen: You know I think that’s like the common story for so many people but you know so, and then some of us we’re able to stick with it and that’s what I do for a living.

Vincent M. Wales: Yeah.

Gabe Howard: Well it’s very cool.

Vincent M. Wales: And so you were in your late 20s when you were diagnosed as bipolar, correct?

Erika Nielsen: So I was diagnosed in my late 20s and it seems to be a pretty common story for those with bipolar disorder to be diagnosed in their late 20s.

Vincent M. Wales: So I assume that by the time you were diagnosed you were well into your musical career? Is that right?

Erika Nielsen: Yes I was. So in Sound Mind, which is a unique book in that it’s both a part memoir and a part self care manual. The first section tells my story about growing up in a musical household, becoming a professional musician, a professional cellist, and along the way I share the symptoms I had that led to my diagnosis of Type 1 bipolar disorder. In the second section of sound mind, I outline all of the habits I had to change, the self care steps and the tools I used to achieve stability.

Gabe Howard: Well that is really very cool. You know obviously we don’t want you to read the book on the show because we only have you know 20 some minutes. But what were some of the symptoms that that led to your diagnosis?

Erika Nielsen: Well a bipolar disorder often first present as major depression in for example teenagers. I think I can look back and even see symptoms within my childhood in terms of not sleeping well, and a kind of aggression that I would that I would hold in. I had tumultuous teen depression. On the outside I was cheerful and bubbly and artistic and outgoing but behind closed doors my self-worth felt like zero. I was very very depressed I felt wretched and worthless and that I didn’t deserve my talent or my privileges. I very sadly culminated in a suicide attempt and I was suicidal for a long time and at the time the people around me, my family, my community, would tell me oh yep you’re perfectly normal. Normal ups and downs, this is what teenagers experience and I believed. But you know I had this haunting suspicion for years I mean a decade leading up to my into my real diagnosis that there was something more going on. I just I just knew in my heart like you know it’s not normal to want to take your own life. It’s not normal to be this depressed. Now I’m telling you the symptoms I noticed when I was growing up were depressive symptoms that’s all I notice. So fast forward for my teen years, throughout my 20s I had always seen a therapist because again I suspected that the symptoms I experienced as a teenager with depression there was something more to it. It wasn’t quite right. So I saw a therapist throughout my 20s thinking I was just taking care of my childhood issues and getting ready for a normal adulthood. And you know and then I got married at age 27 and a month after my wedding I was just totally high as a kite. You know my career was locked in. I was starting a new chapter you know I kept trying to come clean my house and I would, and I decided you know what I am going to find out once and for all what those teen depressions were all about. I’m going to go to the doctor. I’m going to get myself a professional diagnosis and a psychiatric analysis and they’re going to pat me on the back. Tell me what my family and everyone had told me for years that I’m completely normal or I have a very boring condition like mild social anxiety or 21st century syndrome. And I’m going to walk out of there feeling amazing. Well spoiler alert, that’s not what happened when I got that psychiatric assessment.

Gabe Howard: You know it’s interesting what you said that the depression you realized was abnormal but it sounds like you didn’t notice the mania at all and that’s very common. Mania feels good. You know speaking as a fellow person who lives with bipolar disorder it’s like I feel great. Yeah. I’m gonna run to the doctor because I feel great that that doesn’t.

Erika Nielsen: I know I know. Like I had no idea what mania was. I think that’s a really common story. I thought I was just me and what being awesome me was. It meant I felt amazing most the time and I’d like the creative ideas because I’m a musician I’m an artist. I like to write that’s who I am. I don’t really sleep all that well. Closing my eyes and feeling like I’m watching TV channels flicker and with background music that’s what sleeping feels like to me. I don’t know any different and am I hypersexual? Absolutely! I’m there off of this and that guy. And so my symptoms of mania they were presented to me as symptoms and it was complete news to me. It was the shock of my life when the psychiatrist suggested that at least a few periods of my life were actually manic episodes and not just me being me.

Vincent M. Wales: How did you react to that? What did you say to the doctors? No, no, it was just me?

Erika Nielsen: I was in complete disbelief denial without even knowing it. I already had stigma towards mental illness the day that I was diagnosed with a mental illness. My stigma came up. The image that came to mind was vagrant people on the street, teens yelling at each other, homeless people. It was really really I’m ashamed to say what I thought bipolar was and I had to do a lot of research to learn about this condition that I was told I had. It took me a long time to come to terms with what bipolar disorder was and learning about it.

Gabe Howard: It’s a lot to take in for anybody.

Erika Nielsen: All of a sudden I went from being a wildly successful professional cellist and teacher and artist and I thought my life was rocking. I was a newlywed and all of a sudden I became a person with a mental illness. Overnight.

Vincent M. Wales: That has to be shocking. Yes. Getting back to the musical aspect of your life. A lot of creative people, whether it’s in music or writing or what have you, have been known to or at least were believed to have been mentally ill in some capacity. Do you feel there’s any connection with your creativity and your mental illness?

Erika Nielsen: I want to answer that in kind of two ways. As I mentioned before so when I was first diagnosed and learning about mania I assumed that my mania was the essence of what made me who I was as an artist. And that mania was solely responsible for my creative spirit and my flights of ideas. I was resistant to taking medication because I remembered feeling flattened when back in my teens I had taken some SSRI for depression and that made me feel really really flat. And I assumed that that would happen to me again if I treated bipolar disorder. But when I understood the severity of my manic episodes I was more interested in achieving stability. So after a few years of patient trial and error and finding the right medication combination I just discovered, here’s the drum roll, when I am having manic symptoms I feel more creative and like my most amazing self in the spinning wheel of fabulousness that I experience but that isn’t really the case. I think I’m being more creative and expressive. But in reality my thoughts are racing so fast I can’t articulate them well or complete them. I’m too frenetic to complete the task they start and I do not accomplish more. And with very few exceptions I’m not a better version of myself. It just feels that way and I came up with this sentence that I think really sums up mania and the illusion that it is: mania masquerades as creativity in the same way that lust masquerades as true lasting love. It’s the chemical reaction within our brain and it’s a subjective illusion.

Vincent M. Wales: That’s fantastic.

Erika Nielsen: I realized I am just as creative when I am stable because that is who I am. I am a creative artistic colorful person and now that I’ve treated my condition I am able to actually complete the tasks and ideas that I start and I can follow my projects to fruition.

Gabe Howard: And isn’t that really the key? I know what you mean about getting all of those great ideas at 3:00 in the morning about thinking of a billion ways to solve all of my problems, your problems, the world’s problems. I have even thrown in some of Vince’s problems but I have absolutely no ability to take it from idea to fruition. It’s you know let’s talk about being a cellist for a moment. Would you say that it was difficult to practice when you were a manic? Because I imagine I’m just I’m just going by a stereotype here to be a professional cellist you probably practiced hours a day.

Erika Nielsen: Oh yeah absolutely hours a day and no doubt bipolar affected my playing as a musician.

Gabe Howard: Yeah I can’t imagine sitting still for hours a day to accomplish anything during both major depression and or a major hypomanic or manic episode so that in and of itself should prove to all of our listeners that yeah, yeah, mania is not awesome. We’re going to step away to hear from our sponsor and we’ll be right back.

Narrator 2: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.com, secure, convenient and affordable online counselling. All counselors are licensed, accredited professionals. Anything you share is confidential. Schedule secure video or phone sessions, plus chat and text with your therapist whenever you feel it’s needed. A month of online therapy often costs less than a single traditional face-to-face session. Go to BetterHelp.com/PsychCentral and experience seven days of free therapy to see if online counselling is right for you. BetterHelp.com/PsychCentral.

Vincent M. Wales: Welcome back everyone. We’re here with Erika Nielsen, author of Sound Mind: My Bipolar Journey from Chaos to Composure.

Erika Nielsen: When I was living with untreated bipolar disorder before I knew I had it I suffered from major performance anxiety, destructive and ruminating thoughts, mostly about my worthiness and ability. I was experiencing auditory hallucinations and blacking out. I was experiencing problems focusing, suicidal thoughts, and extreme impatience and irritability. I’d be practicing along intensely focused on what I was doing and there’s a scene in my book where my spouse comes over and he basically whispers I poured your tea and I go What do you what are you doing here? I am pretty much just lose it. This irritability was constant for me and then sleeping poorly made all of the above symptom even worse. And vice versa so I thought all of this was just a part of being a performer and an artist and having an artistic personality or I thought it was a sign that if I got performance anxiety maybe I didn’t deserve to be a musician or maybe I shouldn’t be a musician. I didn’t even realize how exhausting it was to live in my brain until I finally got my diagnosis and found the right treatment. And interestingly, as we know, people with bipolar disorder often also suffer from comorbid disorders like major anxiety or ADHD, and I suffered from both of those. So I was working extremely hard all the time to cope with and hide my symptoms so I’m incredibly relieved that I found an accurate diagnosis and amazingly treating my bipolar also treated the symptoms that affected my playing. And now I can perform better than I ever thought possible. I can perform with more focus and ease than ever and allow my true abilities to shine. I still feel nervousness and excitement when I perform. But now it’s in proportion and manageable and I can sometimes even use it to my advantage. My thoughts are now organized and non-toxic. It’s almost like someone turned the volume dial down 40 percent to a tolerable level. So I’m no longer scattered. I can focus and little things don’t distract or bother me anymore. Gabe, you were talking about you know thinking about the 5 million ways to solve all the world’s problems at 3:00 in the morning and that’s dialing it all down to maybe thinking of three ways to solve the world’s problems and then being able to execute it.

Gabe Howard: Right. Exactly. Exactly. There’s a quote that I really love and it has absolutely nothing to do with bipolar disorder but I’ve applied it because you know that’s what I do. And it’s never let perfection get in the way of progress.

Erika Nielsen: I love that quote again.

Gabe Howard: Yeah. And it’s one of the things that I always had a really really hard time with. Once I got treated, once I found coping mechanisms, and once I got better. Yeah. When I look at them objectively when I look at plans that I have are they perfect? No but they’re in the world. Every article that I have ever written, it’s not perfect. I go back and read them and I find a comma that’s out of place or I’m like you know I wish I would have been a little articulate over here or I read the comments section I was like you’re right, I should just on and on and on and on and on. But because I was able to get treated all of these articles are out in the world to be discussed and to gain value and whatever that value is is up to the reader. And that’s what I’ve learned as well. Before I got treatment they were all in my head just up there.

Erika Nielsen: Yep. Right. Not getting out there and not seeing any readers. That’s Gabe. That’s one of my absolute favorite quotes. I also reframe it to be perfection is the enemy of great.

Gabe Howard: Yes. Yes. I love that. I love that a lot. I want to switch gears for a moment and one of the examples that I always use in every speech that I give about living with bipolar disorder is you know I take medication for bipolar disorder and I tell people that you know it’s there are side effects. There’s most commonly sexual side effects. There’s other types of side effects and I say, you know I had to find the right medication that worked for me and I always say for example one of my medications gives me a slight tremor but hey I’m not a professional musician so I don’t care. Well I’m now talking to somebody who lives with bipolar disorder who is a professional musician. Was this difficult for you? Because a slight tremor is very common in many of the bipolar medications.

Erika Nielsen: That’s a great question, Gabe. As I mentioned it took me two years to find the right medication that works for me. The right cocktail as some people call it. And for some people, they’re still on that path and it’s taken them even longer so it took me two years and I’m not the medication I take is not free of side effects but it has side effects that I can live with as a professional musician. I’m very fortunate that I do not have a tremor and it allows me to get the rest I need. I can sleep sometimes upwards of nine to 10 hours. And as a freelancer I recognize I’m extremely fortunate that I can schedule my activities around my need for the sleep that my medication gives me. I say gives me, I don’t say my medication makes me sleep for too long, my medication gives me the sleep that I need to repair my brain and I recognize that other people have a nine to five job. They need to be up at seven. They need to be in their office by eight thirty. I don’t have to do that so I can. For example, I don’t schedule any private lessons or rehearsals before 10:00 in the morning just so I have time to take my time in the morning and be at my freshest and I often perform late in the concerts that I play. So for example last week I was performing a concert of the music of Prince’s Purple Rain. And this week it was a baroque concert with music for harpsichord and Elton John’s Greatest Hits. Well, all those concerts ran very late so I made sure to not schedule anything first thing in the morning so that I could get the rest that I need to help treat my condition.

Gabe Howard: Very cool.

Vincent M. Wales: Let me just jump back to stigma. You said that when you were diagnosed you just had this automatic stigma that popped up. How did that change and when did it change?

Erika Nielsen: When I was first diagnosed with bipolar disorder I wanted to learn as much as I possibly could about the condition and I recommend this for anyone who is diagnosed with any mental health condition or mental illness. Learn as much as you possibly can about it. It sounds obvious but I think there’s still a lot of people out there that just go to the doctor and seek treatment without really learning about what’s going on for them. I read a kind of how to guide written by doctors and I also read personal accounts, books about people who live with bipolar disorder. One of my favorite is actually a graphic memoir. Its illustrations written by a cartoonist written by Ellen Forney called Marbles: Mania, Depression, Michelangelo, and Me and reading that book was so monumental in making me feel like I wasn’t alone because I think feeling isolation is really really dangerous and is really really hard.

Gabe Howard: Yeah it feels so lonely.

Erika Nielsen: Yes. So as I mentioned I when I was first slammed with this diagnosis my own stigmas came up around it. And as I learned more about the condition and I learned about famous figures who suffered from it especially other artists and writers and musicians and I learned how common it was so the more knowledge I armed myself with the more my own stigmas melted away and stigma is so tough. My heart is just so full of compassion now for others who have mental health conditions like mine. I saw someone the other week on the subway and he was clearly psychotic. He was having a really rough day and I just I just felt for him. I kind of smiled and nodded and I said I hope you take good care. I know how many of us there are out there. I know stigma is still prevalent. You know while we’re starting to have conversations about depression, anxiety, and self care and it’s becoming conversational I think the two biggies bipolar and schizophrenia a lot of people aren’t ready to touch yet. And I’m hoping to help change that. I also want to talk a little bit about other stigmas towards self care, rest, getting sleep you need. I came from a workaholic environment. And when I was taking a moment of rest or break any moment like that I meant made me feel like I was being lazy and self-indulgent and not productive. And I made myself physically sick with gastric reflux disease and digestive issues and I wreaked havoc on my mental health from being a workaholic. And now that I’ve had to treat my chronic stress and chronic workaholism to treat my bipolar disorder I had to rethink my whole schedule and the whole way I approach my work life and I got to tell you guys, Gabe and Vin, I am so over chronic frantic busyness. And what I’ve discovered is it’s still possible. I have a very full schedule but I’ve put changes in place to make sure I’m not racing from one thing to the next which just exacerbates my condition. There’s also a huge stigma out there against getting adequate sleep and prioritizing sleep. We also all know someone who brags about how little sleep they get. Or they think they can function on just a few hours like sleeping more somehow means you’re not being productive. I completely disagree. I can get so much more done now that I’m fully rested my brain can actually repair and heal itself. So the opposite is absolutely true. The more rested I am the more productive I am in my waking hours.

Gabe Howard: I love that you have just listed like five of the top ten Psych Central Show Podcasts that Vince and I have done. We talk about sleep hygiene all the time we talk about this idea that people have with self care being somehow you know bad sleep being lazy on and on. You just you really covered a lot of myths that the the people who are “mentally healthy” in society just believe and if you’d believe it we’d all should be working 16 hour days getting four hours of sleep a night never doing anything for ourselves and being at somebody else’s beck and call 24/7 all for minimum wage. And that sounds nuts when you say it that way but you’re right people believe these things in the abstract.

Erika Nielsen: Oh I know.

Gabe Howard: It’s fascinating to me so thank you.

Erika Nielsen: It’s totally fascinating to me too. And something really cool is as I have come out with my condition with my book all about it which includes the self care steps that I took towards stability. A lot of friends and family have been reading the book and they’re noticing that the self care steps I took are useful for them or for their friends who have anxiety or for the other friend who has schizophrenia. These self care that we need as people with mental health conditions, everybody can benefit from following them.

Gabe Howard: I know imagine that. Imagine that everybody has a brain that everybody should take care of. Wow. I wonder if other people know about this.

Erika Nielsen: I mean North American workaholism is I think is making us all sick.

Gabe Howard: I completely agree.

Vincent M. Wales: I agree, too. One of the things that you didn’t specifically mention, at least I don’t think you did is that it’s hard to go through this all on your own. We do need a support network so I know you’re married. Tell me about the role your spouse has played in supporting you throughout all this.

Erika Nielsen: I’d love to. I’ve got to say to those who are newly diagnosed I think finding support is essential. Not everybody has a supportive spouse like I do and I’ll get to that in a second. But finding that support network even if and I know many people with an undiagnosed mental health condition may have even pushed away some or all of your close support network. I know I found tremendous peer support in the support groups I joined when I was first diagnosed and I still regularly seek peer support from the Toronto bipolar disorder meetup group. I talk about support groups in my book Sound Mind and something that’s great to remember is that even if I don’t feel like going to my support group, I know that I might be a support for someone else. And we actually need each other. So my spouse is absolutely my rock. He is, you could say opposites attract. You know I’m a bubbly outgoing person and he’s always been kind of quieter and more reserved and we balance each other out that way. I realize how incredibly lucky I am to have a supportive partner when I am experiencing symptoms. He can help me by sort of mirroring back me what it is he is noticing. So if I’m experiencing a mood episode usually I’m pretty good at knowing what’s going on but sometimes he can really see it too and he can relate that to me. I’m noticing that today you’ve repotted all of our plants and you’ve been listening to this Brian Wilson record on repeat about eight times in a row while talking non-stop. Have you noticed that? And I can say, yes I’ve noticed that. And then together we can take action and to treat my symptoms that they come up. He’s supports me and that he’s on board as my team mate and we treat my bipolar as a team and when it’s go time, when I’m really unwell, we’re in it together and I know how lucky I am to have someone who’s willing to do that.

Gabe Howard: That’s great. So tell us where can we find your book.

Erika Nielsen: You can find my book, for American listeners, it’s available on Amazon.com and Barnes and Noble for Canadian listeners it’s on Amazon.ca, Indigo or Chapter.

Gabe Howard: Awesome. Do you have a website that people can find just you personally? I believe you have a blog, yes?

Erika Nielsen: Yes. So my blog is SoundMindBook.com and articles there have also been published for bphope.com and soon will be also published for Psychology Today magazine. And if you want to know a bit more about me as a professional cellist and educator you can check out, one word, CelloErika.com and I can be found under the handle @CelloErika on Instagram and Twitter.

Gabe Howard: Well thank you again Erika for being here and thank you everyone else for tuning in. We really appreciate it. And remember you can get one week of free, convenient, affordable, private online counselling anytime anywhere simply by visiting BetterHelp.com/PsychCentral. We’ll see everybody next week.

Narrator 1: Thank you for listening to the Psych Central Show. Please rate, review, and subscribe on iTunes or wherever you found this podcast. We encourage you to share our show on social media and with friends and family. Previous episodes can be found at PsychCentral.com/show. PsychCentral.com is the internet’s oldest and largest independent mental health website. Psych Central is overseen by Dr. John Grohol, a mental health expert and one of the pioneering leaders in online mental health. Our host, Gabe Howard, is an award-winning writer and speaker who travels nationally. You can find more information on Gabe at GabeHoward.com. Our co-host, Vincent M. Wales, is a trained suicide prevention crisis counselor and author of several award-winning speculative fiction novels. You can learn more about Vincent at VincentMWales.com. If you have feedback about the show, please email [email protected].

About The Psych Central Show Podcast Hosts

Gabe Howard is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives with bipolar and anxiety disorders. He is also one of the co-hosts of the popular show, A Bipolar, a Schizophrenic, and a Podcast. As a speaker, he travels nationally and is available to make your event stand out. To work with Gabe, please visit his website, gabehoward.com.

Vincent M. Wales is a former suicide prevention counselor who lives with persistent depressive disorder. He is also the author of several award-winning novels and creator of the costumed hero, Dynamistress. Visit his websites at www.vincentmwales.com and www.dynamistress.com.

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