The Devil's Earthly Nightmares
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Summary: Wake, who has a not-so-friendly rivalry with seagulls, tries to warn the others about the evil birds.
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Slate whirls around, retaining his place at the front of the group as he walks backwards and signs at the same time. ‘We’re getting close to Lurelin Village.’
A collective sigh of relief comes from the others. They’ve been hiking through Faron Woods for hours now, in all of its muggy, humid glory.
“How can you tell?” Loft asks as he rubs a mostly-dry cloth over his beetle to keep its wings from rusting.
‘I know my Hyrule like the back of my hand. Also,’ he points at the sky, where they can make out a few wheeling birds above the tropical trees. ‘There’s seagulls. They live by the sea so if you see some, you’re probably near the ocean.’
“Seagulls live wherever the hell they want,” Wake grumbles. “They could live in your house if they wanted to. You’re just lucky they don’t.” The group goes silent for a moment, and he realizes that he’s getting some weird looks. “Look, it’s true. Those beasts will be territorial wherever they please. Right now it just happens to be the ocean, so Slate’s right. I’d rather not get anywhere near seagulls but I’m willing to put up with them if I get to see the ocean again.”
‘Riiiight,’ Slate signs, drawing out the movements. ‘In any case, we should be leaving the jungle any minute now and then we’ll have a clear shot to Lurelin.’
Wake sighs, knowing that there will soon be no cover between them and the seagulls.
****
Mask is engaged in a full-on stare down with a small flock of seagulls. The birds are perched along the edge of the roof of Kiana’s house, beady eyes laser-focused on the hylians below. Most of the heroes pretend to ignore the seagulls, huddled around the cooking pot and hunched protectively over their plates of paella. Mask, however, continues to dance with danger. Spirit raises his hands and Mask looks away from the seagulls for a moment to see the other’s words.
‘All they want is your food,’ Spirit signs, then thoughtfully looks down at the shrimp on his plate. ‘Maybe they’ll leave us alone with we just give them some.’
“Absolutely not,” Wake says before they can act on that terrifyingly bad idea. “They’ll take a few fingers and your firstborn child if you let them. They’re not picky.”
One seagull lets out a keening cry that would almost sound pitiful to the untrained ear. The younger heroes look at Wake, horror plain on their faces. They look up at the seagulls, then back to Wake again.
“Don’t fall for their tricks is what I’m saying. And keep an eye on your food. They’ll steal it from clean under you once they realize you won’t give it up willingly,” the pirate warns.
They return to their dinner, extra cautious of airborne thieves.
****
Wake peeks through the blinds, shamelessly spying on the others from the safety of his inn room. Mage, Mini, and Mirror are gathered around one of the benches and watching the ocean sunset with a few… friends.
A seagull perches on Mage’s shoulder, nibbling on his dangly earrings. The man doesn’t seem bothered, instead reaching up to scratch its head with what could almost be described as a wistful expression. Mini sits cross-legged on the sandy grass, stroking a seagull that lounges catlike on his lap. Wake is pretty sure that the kid’s eyes are even larger than normal, hinting at gleeful awe. A third seagull stands a few arm-lengths away from Mirror and takes a step away every time he tries to scoot closer, hand outstretched in an attempt to placate the bird.
“Did you know that seagulls mate for life?” Mage says quietly, gently guiding his seagull away from his glasses. “Once they meet that special someone, they keep that connection forever.”
“Seagulls are incapable of love,” Wake hisses, louder than he meant to.
Mage raises an eyebrow.
Well. Wake started another rant, he might as well finish. “The only thing they are committed to is chaos. Do not trust them with your heart,” he says.
Mage nods sagely.
The seagull that Mirror has been pursuing suddenly looks up, directly at Wake. The pirate quickly ducks under the window, safely out of sight.
Wake can’t keep them all safe from the seagulls, but at least he knows better.
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