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patchouliauthor · 1 year

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Why Not? pt.2 Bill Hader x F!Reader

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI. Oral Sex (F receiving), Squirting, Unprotected P in V, professor!Bill, age gap.

Word Count: 3080

A/N: I’M SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG I PROCRASTINATE. Also, there’s TWO seccs scenes to make up for it. There will likely be a part 3 and maybe a part 4 because first and foremost this is for me :).

Summary: You and Bill hit it off very well in part one and decided to keep seeing each other, but one of you is very insecure about the age gap.

Your eyes opened to see the striped sunlight beams on the wall flowing in from through the window blinds. The room you were in was cluttered and you started to panic at the unfamiliarity of it. That is when you felt strong arms stir from around you and you recognized the scent of cologne and the dastardly hint of sin from the night before. You were in Bill’s arms. You wished you could smother down the smile that found its way onto your face, but there was no taming it.

You turned around in Bill’s arms and looked at his sleeping face. He furrowed his brow in his sleep, like he was focused on something. You thought he looked adorable like that. While he slept, you looked around the room that you were unfamiliar with. You had other things on your mind when you first entered.

The room had stacks and stacks of books around. It wasn’t messy, just cluttered in the same way you almost expected an eccentric academic’s room to look. It was organized chaos, which is so eerily him it almost made you chuckle. The books were an assortment of genres; creative writing, english, joke books. Of course there were joke books.

He started to stir some more as you looked around, and you turned to him and placed a kiss on the bridge of his nose. You began thinking quite filthy thoughts about that nose, but pushed them aside as you say his dark lashes flutter open, revealing his beautiful blue eyes.

“Morning.” He said in a gravelly morning voice. You felt the heat rise to your cheeks at the sound, matched with his messy brown hair and hazy, sleep-filled eyes.

“‘Morning.” You respond. He smiled and kissed you softly. You savored every second of his lips on yours. He slowly started to deepen the kiss and then suddenly pulled away.

“Would you like breakfast?” He asked. You were obviously flustered by the kiss and looked it. He tried to hold back a smirk at your appearance but did not do a great job.

“Maybe in a minute?” You whispered. He smiled a big toothy grin at you and kissed you once again. It immediately resumed the previous passion, and then continued to grow more and more desperate. You reached down to find him still naked and already very hard. You smiled into the kiss and climbed on top of him. He gasped slightly as you straddled him.

You never broke the kiss, not even when you began sliding up and down on his hard cock. You moved tantalizingly slowly, sliding up down his length while his tip rested on his stomach.

“Oh honey. Please go faster.” He said, gripping your hips hard enough to bruise but not pushing you any faster than you are going. His words spur you on and you do as he asks. Both of you moaned in unison, with him whispering dirty things in your ear as you grinded on him. You threw your head back in ecstasy.

“Hon, I need to be inside you right now.” He said, not demanding but instead just matter-of-fact. You slipped him inside you immediately. You began to bounce on him, writing your name with your hips. You could feel every vein on his cock inside your walls. He took his hands off of your hips to smack your ass, and everytime he did so it sent a surge of pleasure through you. You began to falter as you approached your climax. He noticed and immediately started rubbing lazy circles on your clit, trying to throw you headfirst into it. It worked, and you came hard all over him.

As you came down from your high, you felt him flip you over onto your stomach. You could feel the carpet under your feet as you realized you were hanging off of the bed, and you knew he was right behind you. He leaned over, pressing his chest to your back.

“Let me know when you are ready to continue.” He whispered into your ear. You smiled and gave him a weak thumbs up.

He lined himself up with your entrance and slowly pushed back into you. It took no effort at all with how wet you were. He started with slow, deep thrusts, until he built back up to a steady pace. You felt the bed moving underneath you with each push. He leaned back over you, putting his hands underneath your stomach and pushing you into him.

“You feel so good wrapped around me like this.” He whispered into your ear. He continued with his relentless thrusts and you gripped the sheets tightly. You could feel yourself climbing back up to your peak everytime he hit that spot within you. You knew you wouldn’t last much longer and you hoped he was close too.

“Bill, baby, you’re going to make me cum.” You said. He groaned at the words and picked up the pace until it was almost animalistic. The coil in your lower stomach continued to tighten until all of sudden it broke and you came undone for the second time this morning. Your release prompted his own, and he expertly pulled out and came all over your ass.

He layed back down on the bed beside you while you both caught your breath. After a few moments you looked at one another and both started giggling. Something about him made you giddy; every second spent with him made you so happy you felt like you were in a cheesy rom-com and you never wanted it to end.

“Do you want something for breakfast?” He asked.

“Sure, but I would also like to use the shower if I can. Do you have anything for me to change into?” You asked.

His eyes lit up momentarily. “Sure, I’ll grab you something.” He said as he got up and began to gather some clothes. He pulled out a university t-shirt with some gray sweatpants. You were so distracted by the idea of him in gray sweatpants that you didn't even realize what university the shirt was representing, but you didn’t care.

“I’m going to start making some pancakes.” He said as he leaned over and placed a soft kiss on your lips. He turned back and walked to the kitchen. You stood up for the first time since you got to his place last night, and you immediately noticed how wobbly you were. You said a silent prayer to whatever deity brought this man into your life.

You showered quickly as you were hoping to help him make the pancakes. You craved domestic bliss like this, and even if this didn’t last you did not want to give up an opportunity to experience it. You slipped into the clothes that he gave you and they were slightly baggy on you, and you walked into the kitchen, hair still wet but at the very least you brushed it.

He had his back to you but you could tell he was still covered in flour. He looked like he knew what he was doing, but could only do it by making a mess. He had his tongue peaking out from between his lips while he focused on the batter in the pan in front of him.

After mere seconds of deliberation you slipped behind him and wrapped your arms around him.

“How was your shower?” He asked, still concentrating hard on the pancake.

“Lonely.” You said.

He chuckled and flipped the pancake perfectly. He turned to look at you in his clothes and smiled again, but his eyes did not reflect the smile after looking at the shirt you had on and he turned his attention back to the pancake.

It was then you looked down and noticed the shirt you had on. It was for the university that you went to. Did this mean he went there? Or worse, did he teach there?

“What’s wrong Bill?” You asked timidly.

He stiffened. “Nothing.” He turned back to you and placed the pancake on a stack on the counter. He cut a piece of butter and put it on top of the pancake stack before turning with the plate and giving it to you. He smiled, but it felt forlorn.

“Bill seriously, did I do something wrong?” You asked, worried.

“No! No, it’s not that, really, it’s nothing.” He said.

You knew he was lying but decided to take it at face value. You ate together semi-silently, occasionally speaking up about plans for the day or whatever came to your minds, like your favorite flowers, which for you were dahlias. His hand remained on your thigh as you ate, and he would sometimes squeeze it to make sure you knew you were being listened to.

You laughed for a while at an impression that he did of Clint Eastwood when you noticed the clock. “Shit. I’m going to be late for work.” You said and got up hurriedly to get your clothes off of Bill’s floor. You heard him chuckle as you ran to his room.

“I’ll drive you there.” He said.

“How am I going to get home?” You asked.

“When do you get off? I’ll just pick you up and drive you home. Or wherever you want to go.” He said sheepishly.

You smiled at him and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. “I get off at eight, don’t forget.” You said.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

Work was hell. You loved this job, but the idea of Bill sitting at home waiting for you to be off work was driving you up the wall, and Vic could tell.

“Thinking about Professor Dreamy?” They asked.

“Shut up.” You replied, half joking.

“Feisty today I see. Is this because you got laid and want to do so again?” They asked, smugly.

You looked at them with wide eyes before glancing over to the people that they were actively serving at the bar.

“I am so sorry about them.” You said to the customers while they just stared dumb-founded. You eventually found it within yourself to laugh when the little mousy server you loved came up to you once again.

“Um, y/n, that man asked to be seated in your section. I can call the police if you want.” They said.

You looked over at the man they were gesturing to and saw it was Bill. You giggled as you thought about Bill being handcuffed, when suddenly it wasn’t a joke anymore but an idea you were going to save for later.

“He’s fine, go ahead and seat him.” You told the server.

The server rushed over to him and sat him down at the same booth as the fateful night you two met. You smiled as you noticed he had a bouquet of flowers for you once again.

“What are you doing here? I still have an hour left.” You said, smiling.

“I wanted to surprise my favorite waitress, and bring her a bouquet of flowers. I would have been here sooner but I had no idea where to get dahlias.” He said. You held back the urge to kiss him right then and there. You didn’t mind PDA, but with the addictive nature of this man, you knew it would be hard to stop regardless of where you were.

You smiled at him so wide you thought you must look foolish but you couldn’t help it.

“Well, what did you want to eat?” You asked.

“Oh I’ll take whatever you think is good.” He said.

You decided to be bold and you leaned in to whisper in his ear. “I can be good for you.”

You turned on your heel and left without looking back. You felt his eyes on you the whole way, and when you glanced over at Vic they gave you a thumbs up.

At the end of your shift, you clocked out and headed out to Bill’s car. He already had your favorite band playing and the car windows down. As you got in the car you gave him a quick kiss and buckled up.

“Where to, darling?” He said, and you tried not to get too flustered at the pet name.

“We can go back to mine tonight.” You said.

You gave him directions to your apartment. When he parked the car it was your turn to get out of the car at lightning speed. You practically sprinted to your door and unlocked it, so excited for the activities to come.

He walked closely behind you but when he walked in the door he did not feverishly rip your clothes off of you like you had hoped. Instead he walked around, talking about how nice it was in your apartment. As much as you agreed with him, that was not remotely what was on your mind. He sat down on your couch and you decided to offer him a drink.

“Would you like something to drink, Bill?” You said trying to not give away how desperate you were for him to fuck you on any piece of furniture that you owned.

“I’m okay honey.” He said. At his words you crossed over to the couch he was sitting on and sat next to him. You began to kiss him where his neck meets his jaw. His breath hitched as your mouth met his skin, but he stood still.

You pulled away. “Bill, seriously. What is wrong?” You asked.

“Why are you still seeing me?” He asked quietly.

The question surprised you. “What?”

“Why are you going out with me? I’m just a gross older guy, and you are so young and beautiful. You should be going out with someone your age.” He said. His words stung a little bit as he said them, and you could tell he didn’t like saying them either. He looked down at his hands on his lap.

“Bill. I’m still dating you because I really like you. I don’t care how old you are, you have no reason to be insecure.” You said.

“I know we haven’t gone out long, it’s just, I don’t want you to be doing this because you pity me.” He said.

“That’s ridiculous. I don’t like to waste my time, and I don’t think that’s what I’ve been doing with you Bill. I really like you and I want to see where this goes and it’s not because of your age or anything other than the fact that I think we really connect.” You said.

He finally looked back up at you. He smiled his beautiful toothy grin and placed one hand on your face. He slowly guided you into one of the most passionate kisses anyone has ever had. You weren’t sure how you could prove that other than that’s just how you felt about the kiss.

The kiss got more and more desperate. He began pulling on your shirt and you broke the kiss long enough to pull it off of you. You both got to work fiddling with each other’s belts until you finally got them undone and you began the heated kiss again. He slid his hand under the bra you were wearing; the same one from last night that you had to get off of his floor early today. He palmed your breast while you began pulling his pants down. Eventually you got him to take them off, as well as his boxers and shirt, leaving him in his socks. You made a mental note to tease him about fucking you in nothing but his socks but for now, joking wasn’t on your mind.

He yanked off your pants with so much force he almost yanked you right off the couch. He tore the red panties you had on and threw them somewhere in the living room before hastily attaching his lips to your aching clit. He moaned at the taste and you threw your head back in pleasure from the vibration. He began sucking at your clit vigorously and then he started pumping one finger in and out of you. It was ecstasy. He added another finger and you felt yourself slipping farther and farther away in a world of pleasure.

All of a sudden you crashed. You came hard and fast all over him, and it took a couple of seconds as you were coming down to realize you squirted all over him without warning.

“Oh my god, I am so sorry I didn’t warn you or anything.” You said frantically.

“You just squirted.” He said point blank, his eyes brimming with mischief.

“Yeah, I’ve actually never done that before. I didn’t know that I could.” You said.

“That was the hottest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.” He said, incredulously.

He stood up and as he did he picked you up bridal style, carrying you to your bedroom. It was a studio apartment so he found it with ease.

He set you down on the bed and you had about two seconds before you felt him line up with your entrance. You made eye contact with him, his pupils blown out making his eyes look black. You nodded and he slipped inside you.

“Oh, honey, you feel so good.” He groaned into your ear. He began pushing in and out of you at a fast pace.

He felt like he was always meant for you, he fit just like a puzzle piece. He hit every inch of you perfectly, filling you up just right. It was almost scary how well you two fit together. You knew he had ruined you for every other person in the world; no one was going to be like him.

“Baby, I’m close.” He said after a few minutes of his dastardly pace.

“Me too.” You said.

He snaked a hand down to your clit and rubbed quick circles. He knew your body so well for only having had it all to himself once before.

You both came so fast. He pulled out and came all over your stomach.

He looked at you after a few seconds. “Where are the washcloths?” He asked, sheepishly.

You barely had the strength for words, so you pointed to the bathroom. He followed where you pointed and was back in a few moments to clean you up. After he did so he climbed into the bed next to you and wrapped his arms around you.

You could get used to this.

#bill hader #bill hader fanfiction #bill hader imagine #bill hader smut #bill hader fic #bill #hader #snl #bill snl #snl smut

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missbabyjay · 1 year

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New Beginnings - Bill Hader x f Reader

Part 1

Warnings: language! just some fluff, I'd also like to point out that Bill was never married in this dimension lmao. I'm hoping to make this a very detailed multi part fan fic. There isn't too much in this first part... i just wanted to lay out some background details for the remainder of the story! I am feeling really nervous to post this but hey! why not!

Word Count: 2.1 k

You are new to the SNL writing team and you quickly learn that it is impossible to not fall for Bill Hader at a rapid speed.

Part 2

MASTERLIST

. . .

The rain gently trickled against your window as you laid in bed, desperately trying to draw out your time soaking in the comfort of your pillows before you began your first lengthy day at SNL.

Wow. I'm really doing this.

You were nervous, and you had to admit to yourself the affect your feelings had on the motivation you so badly lacked for the day. You let out a groan, and half-heartedly threw yourself out of bed and proceeded to make your way to your washroom.

You should be excited for this.

The thoughts were rushing through your head at a pace you felt were uncontrollable, yet you continued with your morning routine. As the cold water washed over your face you felt a sense of transparency, and for the first time in the past week you felt as though this first day might not be as bad as you anticipated.

. . .

Growing up in a small town made the move to New York much more difficult. You always had an interest in writing and hoped one day you would be able to make a career out of it. Sure, you did stand up, but it wouldn't be able to pay your bills forever. You hopped between serving and bartending as it was a good way for you to make money through tips. Your family undermined your skills and that was just more of a reason for you to push yourself out of your comfort zone, and prove them wrong.

Thankfully you had spent a large chunk of time working in stand up comedy. You had travelled to many places throughout the country and wrote for not only yourself, but a handful of other amateur comedians. You lucked out while working a gig at a comedy club in New York City with a couple of your stand up buddies; John Mulaney just so happened to be at the show with the intentions of possibly scouting out a new writer for this season of SNL, as they were expecting one of the current writers to be leaving only a few months into the season.

As you finished your gig, you felt happiness wash over you. You knew that was your best gig yet. The audience had an energy unlike any other audience you had performed for.

You quickly headed to the bar afterwards, wanting to have a celebratory drink. As you stood waiting at the bar you heard your name being called from behind you, "Y/N Y/L/N?". You turned around, confused, because people didn't typically approach you after your gigs. You were still an amateur after all, and who would want to take photos with someone like yourself? But too much surprise you were face to face with one of your biggest inspirations; John Fucking Mulaney.

You felt your stomach turn while you were frozen with shock, "Y/N, right?" he spoke again with a cheeky smile, clearly recognizing your feelings of anxiousness. "Sorry, yes! That's my name! Don't wear it out!" you mentally face-palmed yourself after the words left your mouth with instant regret. But John just laughed, he was the last to judge someone with a quirky sense of humour as he was just the same.

After chatting for some time, John invited you to audition for a writing position at SNL. He enjoyed your sense of humour and thought you would be a great fit in the team, especially as he saw potential for the two of you to write together.

You could say your audition went well, as not only a week later you were contacted with the wonderful news that you were accepted on to the team. You felt so proud of yourself, knowing this is an accomplishment that many people don't get the pleasure of experiencing.

. . .

And that is how you ended up where you were on this dreary New York Monday morning.

Your apartment was small, but enough for you. As you finished getting yourself ready you quickly made a coffee, although the caffeine would most likely make you even more nervous than you already were to begin with.

I've got this. John Mulaney liked me. I wouldn't have passed the audition if they didn't like me. Snap out of this.

You were within walking distance to 30 Rock, so you began your walk embracing the cool colourless weather along the way. It's almost like nature was curing your anxious nerves. As you breathed in the cool air you felt your heart rate slow, and your mind wander to exciting thoughts, rather than nervous thoughts.

Will the members like me? I can't wait to meet some of my favourite comedians... Maybe my sketch will make it this week...

You approached 30 Rock and made your way up to the studio, not sure where to go or who to talk to. As the elevator doors opened you were met with chaos. The floor was filled with people. You assumed majority of these people were the ones working behind the scenes as you were only met with a few familiar faces. Suddenly, your eyes locked with a tall blue eyed man. Your heart rate quickly raised and goosebumps covered your body

Bill Hader. Holy Shit. He's beautiful.

He quickly rushed over to your surprise, and extended his arm to shake your hand, "My names Bill, I'm going to assume you are Y/N? John was telling me you'd be joining the team!". You quickly shook his hand, not wanting him to feel the sweat that had accumulated on your palms since you locked eyes with him. But my God, your knees nearly buckled the second you made contact almost as though you were melting to the ground.

Of course I know who he is. He's Bill Hader. Who doesn't know who he is? Holy shit we just touched.

He flashed you a nervous smile, "Here, follow me. I just saw John a few minutes ago. We'll hunt him down together" he said, followed by a cute little wink.

Just as you thought you had your nerves under control, the world around you felt as though it was spinning. You followed behind Bill through the chaos while he would glance behind him periodically to make sure you were still tagging along.

You arrived at a door that was briefly opened. Bill gently knocked and proceeded to open the door where you were met with John propped up at a desk twiddling a pen between his fingers with a concentrated look washed upon his face; "Y/N! Welcome to your first day!", he said with a big smile while wiggling his eyebrows playfully at you.

. . .

You spent your first day working alongside John, shadowing his work and learning the typical Monday schedule; everyone would settle down at a table, including the host, and sketch ideas would be thrown around. You felt quite nervous to speak up, but you and John had done some chatting beforehand and he assured you that everyone was eager to hear your ideas.

You threw some ideas out, but nothing really stuck, and that took a toll on your spirit for the week. Lorne wrapped up the jam session, and you met Bill's eyes as you looked up from your papers, you flashed him a small smile. It was almost as if he could notice the stress that had consumed you throughout the meeting. As you were grabbing your things and getting ready to meet with John in his office, you felt a hand gently placed on your shoulder; it was Bill.

"Y/N, is everything okay?", he said with great concern. What a sweet soul he has. You sighed, "Yeah, yeah, I just wish I would have been able to get a sketch into the lineup but it's okay, I guess." you said with a soft smile, "You wanna come to John's office with me?".

The two of you began walking towards John's office when Bill wrapped his arm around your shoulders and leaned in, "Seriously, don't let today get you down. You can help John and I write the Stefon sketch for this week. It'll be great". You felt like you were on a cloud. The feeling of his warm breath against your neck; the closeness shared between the two of you in that moment was never something you thought would occur.

Holy Shit. He just put his arm around me. What the fuck is going on right now... Is this really happening?

The two of you entered Johns room and from that moment on you felt a sense of relief. Being around John and Bill just felt right. You felt like a missing puzzle piece that was finally discovered; you felt like you finally found your place in the world.

The three of you chatted for awhile, getting to know each other on a deeper level. John had been working on SNL for three years at this point, and Bill had been there for six years; no wonder these two seemed so content with the regular schedule of SNL, the process was as easy as riding a bike to them. Whereas you felt the process was like a big cloud hanging over you, you were eager for Sunday to arrive already.

You told you life story to the two of them, leaving both of them to be surprised by the experiences you've had in the industry at the ripe age of 25. You felt so young and naive compared to them though. But their lack of judgement on you made you feel even more comfortable to open up to them.

. . .

The three of you finished your conversation and you said your goodbyes. As you walked down the hallway towards the elevators you felt relieved. Today went okay, maybe not exactly how you planned it would go, but it was okay. Not only did it end on a good note but you couldn't believe the instant connection you made with Bill. You tried to not be consumed in your thoughts; keeping a sense of clarity. You couldn't deny the way Bill made you feel, but it was only your first day and you needed to slow your eager thoughts down.

As you stood waiting for the elevator you heard quick paced steps behind you. You turned around and saw Bill nearly out of breath with his hands placed on his knees. "Woah there buddy, you okay?" you said followed by a few giggles, "I didn't want to miss you before you left, I was wondering if you'd maybe wanna grab a coffee and chat a bit more?" he said with almost a flustered look plastered on his face. "Yeah, sure." you managed to get out while feeling your heart rate rise.

He wants to spend one on one time with me?

Bill lead the way, flagging down a cab where he gave the address of a beloved coffee shop he would swing by before a long day at the studio. Little did you know Bill was excited to take you to one of his special places. He felt the same as you, eager to build your friendship and possibly one day be more than just friends.

The two of you conversed for a few hours. At first you felt tense, was this a date? No, no don't get ahead of yourself Y/N. Bill wanted to know everything about your upbringing. He seemed so interested in you and that made you fall for him even more.

"Do you live near by? I would love to walk you home if you don't mind", he said with a sweet, nervous smile. You felt so enamoured by the moment, "Absolutely, I would love that."

The two of you walked shoulder to shoulder through the busy streets of New York. Moments of silence would occur, but at no point did it feel awkward. It was comfortable silence. You kept catching Bill glancing down at you and you'd meet his face with a soft smile. The evening had been everything and more. And as the two of you approached your apartment complex you felt a sense of sadness. You didn't want the evening to end. You had grown so fond of him over the last few hours, your mind wondered where your relationship could possibly end up. He made you excited to be back in the office tomorrow.

"Well! Here's my stop!" you said followed with a giggle. You turned to face him and your eyes met. The both of you enjoyed it for a few moments before you smiled at Bill, "I'll see you tomorrow morning, bright and early Hader" followed by a cheeky wink. "You betcha, Y/N".

You walked into your complex, shortly arriving at your front door. You entered your living room, placed your book bag down, and plopped yourself on the couch. It was time for you to get some rest before the frantic week that laid before you.

A new beginning, I cannot wait.

#bill hader x reader #bill hader smut #bill hader imagine #bill hader #bill hader fanfic #bill snl #snl imagine #snl fan ficiton #snl fanfic #bill hader one shot

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billhader-fromtulsa · 1 year

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didn’t even think about this until now

#bill hader #barry hbo #barry berkman #barry block #snl #documentary now #the skeleton twins #saturday night live #milo dean #trainwreck #sally reed #gene cousineau #jim moss #noho hank #nohobal #barry season 4 #series finale

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thisismysecondrodeo · 2 years

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My current favorite genre of television: "Letting actors I know from their previous comedy roles ruin me emotionally"

#the Barry season 3 finale and the severance season 1 finale are some of the most intense episodes of television I've ever seen #jason sudeikis #snl #ted lasso #adam scott #parks and rec #parks and recreation #severance #bill hader #barry #barry hbo #my shit

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oldshowbiz · 3 months

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SCTV cast member Dave Thomas recalls:

"When Chevy Chase left the original SNL cast, Joe [Flaherty], John [Candy] and I auditioned for the open slot.

"Lorne came into town acting like a little prince. It was a painful audition. We did what was probably the worst improv of our lives. Bill Murray got the part.

"Afterward, Lorne told John Candy not to give up his day job. It was a joke, but John never forgot that.

"By SCTV’s second season, the sense of competition with SNL had disappeared because they’d become so big. We were only getting smaller—stations started dropping us. People were discouraged, but we kept filming. Things turned around once we made it to American networks.”

#dave thomas #snl #sctv #lorne michaels #history of canadian comedy #john candy #joe flaherty #bill murray

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wuntrum · 5 months

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collecting a type of guy

#personal #the two on the left are technically the same guy. the original #+ bill playing him in an snl skit 😭#i was wondering why some of there will be blood felt familiar. it was that skit

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marthastewieeee · 3 months

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"you're funny. I love you. you're my friend and you're making me laugh."

#bill hader #fred armisen #seth meyers #snl #documentary now #saturday night live

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m0us3rat · 1 year

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happy pride month to them

#snl #saturday night live #bill hader #bill hader snl #stefon snl #seth meyers #seth meyers snl #weekend update #gay wedding #gay #pride month

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patchouliauthor · 11 months

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Why not? pt.3 | Bill Hader x F!Reader

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI. Oral sex (m and f receiving), unprotected p in v (don’t be like them), professor!Bill, age gap, pet names!!!!!!!!!, a little bit of pure torture.

Word Count: 3550

A/N: It’s finally here! This will be the last part for a while bc this was originally supposed to be a one shot BUT I hope this tides you over for a bit! <3

Summary: Summer is ending and you and Bill’s worst fears are being realized. But it’s fun!

This summer was by far the best you ever had.

Every day started by waking in Bill’s arms, either at your place or his. It was all just sex and talking; you guys connected in a way you didn’t know that you could connect with someone.

Bill was meant for you, you were sure of it. All of the other people you had been with before just prepared you to make this relationship the best it could be. He even took you to his hometown, Tulsa, Oklahoma, and drove you around to all of his favorite places from his childhood. It had been a while since he brought someone home, and his excitement showed.

The summer was ending now, and Bill spent most of his time on his laptop, configuring the online part of his courses where his students could turn in assignments and check their grades. Finding out that he worked at the same school you attended came as a shock, despite there only being one college in your town. Secretly you hoped he commuted to the community college about a half an hour out from your town, but as an alumni he couldn’t pass up the opportunity to work where he attended.

It was fine though, you could avoid the possible issues that could arise. He taught in the english department, upper level, and you already needed the english that you needed to graduate. So you could avoid each other while on campus and spend the night locked together like you did the whole summer thus far.

Your class schedule was the easiest yet, it was your last semester and you got everything incredibly challenging out of the way. And you could still work at the diner where you first met Bill. Everything was looking good for you, and you were excited about the future.

While thinking about upcoming events, your phone rang. Vic. You picked up.

“What’s up, stupid?” You said into the phone

“What’s up with you, stupid?” Vic said back.

“Nothing, I was just thinking.” You said.

“About what I need to get you for your wedding?” Vic joked.

“Shut up.” You said, but secretly the thought of marrying Bill excited you. Marriage as a concept freaked you out. The government did not have to get into your relationship, but man would it be nice to wear a pretty dress and have a party to celebrate the best man you’ve ever known.

“Maybe a toaster…” They said, continuing their joke.

“We’re not there yet, Vic.” You said, giggling.

“You might not be, but Bill? You know how quick older men are to pop the question. He’s not getting any younger.” They said. You thought about that for a moment, was that right around the corner? You hoped not, you needed to finish school and get a big girl job before you could think about affording a wedding.

“Vic.” You said, giggling through the new anxiety. “What was it you actually called about?”

“Oh yeah, I was wondering if you could take my shift tomorrow on bar, I have to go to the admissions office and fix my schedule. Apparently a bunch of schedules got messed up and the website is down because everyone has to fix them.”

“Oh shit, I didn’t hear anything about that. Were they all messed up? Should I go check mine today?” You said.

“I would if I were you, classes are starting up next week.” Vic said. “So, could you take my shift?”

“Oh. Yeah sure.” You said.

“Thanks a million babe, now go get back to Dr. Hader.” Vic said, with emphasis on your handsome professor’s name.

You laughed. “Bye Vic.” You said and then hung up.

Bill was seated in your living room, laptop open on the coffee table. He leaned over it, and you were struck with how handsome he looked like this as you walked in. Brow furrowed in concentration, hair tousled from him running his hands through it, button up shirt with the top two buttons undone, and his respectable professor glasses he wore when he worked on the laptop to protect his eyes from blue light. You could jump him right now but he seemed busy. Oh well, he could work later.

You slowly walked in and sat down, snuggling up to him.

He smiled but kept his eyes on the screen. “How are you, honey?”

You pressed a kiss to his neck. “I need to go to the registration office. Apparently a bunch of schedules are messed up.” You said against his skin.

“Do you need a ride?” He said.

You chuckled as you pulled away from him. “I think it’s best that we limit times we’re seen together on campus.”

“Why? Because it’s impossible for me to keep my hands off of you?” He said, completely nonchalant.

“That would be one reason, yes.” You said in response.

He chuckled.

“It seems like you are keeping your hands to yourself just fine right now?” You said, challenging him.

He cleared his throat and shut his laptop. Within seconds he had you pinned against the couch, attacking your neck with kisses and love bites. You giggled and gasped at the feeling.

“Are you going to keep mouthing off to me, honey?” He said against your neck.

“No sir.” You said through giggles.

He sat up, pulling you up with him.

“As much as I’d love to continue, the registration office closes in a half an hour.” He said, and you pouted a little bit. He was right, but you wished he was wrong so he could have his way with you.

“I should get going then.” You said as you got up and walked to the door, grabbing your backpack off the hook on the way. He followed you all the way there, hands on your waist and mouth on your neck.

“Hurry back.” He said, barely above a whisper.

You turned and gave him a passionate kiss before swiftly walking out the door and to your car. The quicker you get there, the quicker you get back.

“You have to take improv.” The registrar said, flustered. She ran around the room grabbing papers and scanning them.

“What?” You said.

She took a break from her running. “Improv. It’s the last class that is open and fills your final requirement. You’ll have to drop one of your classes and take improv so you can graduate on time.” She regains her composure and grabs more papers before sitting in front of the computer. “This is the last time I trust someone beneath me to run the scheduling system.” She says under her breath.

“So, there’s no other option?” You asked.

“Afraid not, now I don’t want to rush you out but I am constantly helping students with their classes and I have four more in the waiting room right now, so here.” She handed you a piece of paper. “This is your new schedule. Sorry about the inconvience, goodbye.”

You knew better than to continue, so you left, feeling slightly defeated.

Your car ride back to your apartment was filled with thoughts about school, what your new class would be like, Bill. He was waiting for you at your apartment, and after the last interaction with him left you hot and bothered, you needed to get home as soon as possible. You pressed the gas pedal a little harder, anticipation rising within you.

It took you five minutes to make the ten minute drive.

He was waiting for you on the couch with two glasses of champagne. You sat your stuff down and joined him.

“Hey honey, did you get it worked out?” He said, placing a kiss right underneath your ear.

You bit back a moan at the feeling. “Mhm. All good.” Is all you could muster up to say.

“Good. Now can we get back to where we were?” He said, taking a sip of his champagne. You mirrored his action, taking a significantly larger swig of yours. You knew your eyes speaked for themselves, but you also knew how much he wanted to hear you say the words. Consent was the bare minimum, which you both knew, but with him it was also incredibly sexy.

“Yes, sir.” You said.

He took your champagne and set it on the coffee table. He slowly leaned you back until you hit the soft couch cushions. He placed soft and sweet kisses all over your face and neck before slipping your shirt off of you. He then placed kisses on your chest, one on each breast, and in a swift motion he undid your bra from underneath you. He began sucking on your right nipple, while flicking your left. You threw your head back in pleasure, back arching off the couch.

“Ah ah ah.” He reprimanded and pressed you back down against the couch. “Stay put pretty girl while I take care of you.” He said.

Your eyes rolled back into your head at the feeling of his mouth on you paired with his pretty words.

“What do you say, honey?” He said.

“Yes, sir.” You whispered.

He stopped himself from moving down further.

“Speak up darling, I couldn’t hear you.”

“Yes, sir.” You said again, louder.

“That’s better” He said, smiling. The bastard was enjoying this.

This was different than how he normally treated you. Typically the talking was him worshipping you, talking about how beautiful you are, being starstruck at how you look spread out before him. Tonight it was all of that, but with a hint of pure torture. You didn’t mind.

He slipped your pants and underwear off in one go, immediately pressing his lips to your core. He himself moaned at the feeling of his mouth on you, and the vibrations ripped through you, adding to your pleasure.

He continued to eat you out expertly and you began to inch closer and closer to your release, which anymore you were certain only Bill could get you to.

Your legs wrapped around Bill’s head, squeezing. You thought for sure he would scold you but he couldn’t bring his lips from you to do so. He just wrapped one arm around your left leg and the other hand pushed one finger into you and curled to hit your favorite spot. You almost screamed at the feeling. He pushed another finger in, still latched on to your clit with his mouth.

You quickly came all over him and he detached from you, smiling.

You smiled back at him and pulled him into a sweet kiss, and you tasted yourself all over his mouth. He deepended the kiss and pulled you as close to him as he could. He grabbed you and pulled you down onto his lap. You immediately soaked through his pants and felt his hard member up against you.

You kept kissing him, rocking against his clothed cock, until he couldn’t stand it and he yanked his pants down to around his knees. He looked into your eyes, asking you for consent. You nodded and his slipped inside you. It shocked you again how perfect he fit inside of you.

You bounced on him and he latched his mouth to your breast. You moaned at his mouth on you and his eyes looking up into yours. He was so perfect to you.

He spoke against your skin. “My pretty pretty girl.” He whispered. You couldn’t control yourself from grinding down on him the hardest that you could. He whimpered and tried to cover it up with a groan. You began to write your name with your hips and Bill’s eyes rolled back and he leaned his head against the couch.

“You are going to make me cum, honey.” He said.

You were close too, so you kissed him and placed his hand on your clit. He took your cue and rubbed vigoursly, making you immediately come and moan into his mouth. Hearing you finish made Bill follow you, shooting his hot seed into you.

“Shit.” He said, and quickly pulled out.

It took you a few moments to realize what happened.

“Bill, Bill, honey. It’s okay.” You said, trying to comfort him.

“I’m so sorry Y/N. I didn’t mean to. You felt so good and I forgot.” He said, guilt apparent in his eyes.

“Bill. Seriously, it’s okay. I’m okay.” You said. He calmed down after reassurance.

He smiled and picked you up and carried you to the bathroom. He started running some warm water and helped you get into the tub. You needed all the help you could get with how shaky your legs were. You soaked in the bathtub while he cleaned the living room up. When you were done, the bed was ready and you laid down just to fall asleep immediately.

~ After a week, your classes were beginning. You went to your last class of the day, improv. It was in the english building, and it took you a considerable amount of effort to not find Bill’s office. It was sort of a fantasy to give him head from under his desk, and maybe you’d get that chance someday, but today you were going to be late to class.

You walked into the lecture hall and there were only a few seats left. One in the back beside a jock and one in the front completely alone. You knew you learned better in the back; you didn’t like all of that attention on you. But would you rather sit next to some random guy or alone? You decided to go with the back row seat.

You knew almost nothing about this class, just what the registrar wrote on your new schedule, which was the room number and the building but that’s about it. With how busy you and Bill had both been, you hadn’t even asked him about which professor taught this course. With all of the issues plaguing the schools scheduling, it wouldn’t shock you if he didn’t know the answer to that either.

“Hey.” The jock next to you said. “We’re probably going to be sitting next to each other for the semester so I wanted to introduce myself. I’m Carson.”

“Nice to meet you.” You said with a small smile. You began to get your notebook out of your backpack when he continued to speak to you.

“Don’t you work at Bobby’s Diner? Me and my boys love to eat there.” He asked.

“I do.” You said.

“I knew I recognized you. Hey do you maybe want to…” He trailed off as the professor entered the room and loudly said “Hello class!”

Oh no.

Oh god please no.

The professor stood about six feet tall, with dark hair and light eyes. He was the most handsome man you had ever seen.

Bill.

“I’m excited to get started but today we have to do the introduction stuff first. I have copies of the syllabus to pass out, could I have a volunteer to help me out?”

Carson next to you shot up. “I got you Dr. H.”

He looked up to the back row. “Thank y-” He stopped abruptly as his eyes wandered to you next to his volunteer. You were sure your face mimicked the shocked and mildly terrified reaction that donned your handsome professor.

“Carson.” The jock next to you finished for him.

“Yes. Thank you Carson.” He said, eyes barely able to tear away from your horrified expression.

The rest of the class went so incredibly slowly. He did not look at you one time until the very end.

“I’m busy all day today, but my office hours are at the top of your syllabus, as well as the room number.” He looked at you. “Room 109 if you need anything. But please email me first, I have a life.” He said and the class giggled. You thought about all of the people in here, surely some of them wanted to get a piece of your professor. Hell, you did. It did make you a little jealous, but you knew you got to have him all to yourself.

The class ended and people began to shuffle out. Before you could leave to head to room 109, Carson stopped you.

“Hey, I didn’t get to finish earlier. I was wondering if you’d like to grab dinner sometime. Maybe we could practice our improv skills together.” He asked.

“Oh. Um, I’m pretty busy with work and classes but I’ll definitely let you know.” You said and smiled as you began to head for the door.

You decided to share a passing glance with Bill just to find him already looking at you. When you made eye contact, he quickly turned to his stack of papers. Something about the interaction caught you off guard, but you continued to the first floor to find his office.

His office was tucked away in the corner by a staircase no one used. It was the furthest from both the elevators and the main staircase, so it had much more privacy. He left it locked, so you waited outside of it for him to come down. When he did, he saw you and rushed to unlock the door and usher you inside of it.

The room did not look too different than his bedroom, filled with stacks of books. He also had one picture frame on his desk, which he pushed over as you walked in.

“What are you doing here? I thought we had to limit our time together on campus?” He asked, setting his papers on his desk.

“I think we can’t really avoid that now, can we?” You said. “What are we going to do? I need this class to graduate.”

“You’re going to take the class and we are going to be mature adults about it.” He said, not looking at you.

His lack of eye contact worried you. “Is everything okay?” “Are you going to have a study date with Carson?” He said.

You laughed out loud. “No, probably not. I happen to have the best study partner around.” You said. He chuckled a bit and finally looked at you. After looking at him for a few seconds, you reached behind you and locked his door.

“What are you doing?” He said, knowing fully what you were doing.

“Sit down.” You ordered him. The idea that this fantasy of yours could potentially play out was making you desparate to touch him, despite how you wanted to appear.

He followed your orders, smirking all the way. He sat behind his big oak desk, eagerly waiting your next move.

You slowly walked over to him, setting your backpack down along the way. When you reached him, you gave him a chaste kiss and began pulling down his pants. You pulled them down to his ankles and began to palm his massive cock through his underwear, which was beginning to form a tent. Maybe he thought about this just as much as you had.

You got on your knees in front of him and pulled his boxers down. His eyes watched you all the way, pupils blown out in lust.

You took his dick in your hand and marveled at the size of it. He was way bigger than anyone else you’ve ever been with, and you knew he knew how to use it.

You placed a kiss to the tip, tasting the salty pre-cum that was forming, before slowly taking him in your mouth. He was so big that you had to use your hand to pleasure the remaining inches you couldn’t fit.

He tried and failed to groan quietly. You kept working him at a torturous pace.

“Honey, if you want to do anything else, you need to get that mouth off of me soon.” He breathily said.

You pulled off of him with a pop. “I want to taste you. All of you.” You said before returning your mouth to him and pumping him harder.

“Oh god.” He groaned and then placed one hand in your hair. He didn’t shove your head down, but just pulled your hair back into a ponytail to keep it out of the way. You felt yourself getting wetter and wetter but you knew you wouldn’t be getting that sort of treatment until later tonight.

He restrained himself from fucking your mouth, and you kept working at him until he started to twitch and you knew he was close.

You pulled off of him just to say. “Come for me professor.”

He groaned and you placed your mouth on him to collect all of his load that coated the inside of your mouth and throat. The taste of him was indescribable.

You pulled off of him and began straightening yourself up. After he collected himself, he too straightened up and grabbed your backpack off the floor. You had a shift at the diner you were going to be late for.

He placed a kiss to your forehead. You both knew you had a lot to work out, but you knew that this relationship was too good to throw in the towel. You’d work it out, you always do.

He smiled at you before unlocking his door. He whispered in your ear before you left.

“I’ll pay you back tonight.”

#bill hader #bill hader fanfiction #bill hader imagine #bill hader smut #bill #snl #snl smut #bill snl #barry #professor #why not

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missbabyjay · 1 year

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youtube

THE WAY HE DOES SETH’S VOICE IS HILARIOUS 😭. The Vinny sketches are so good lmao

#bill hader #snl bill hader #bill snl #prime snl #SNL #SNL season 34 #seth rogen #i love bill hader #Youtube

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always-rolling-my-eyes · 5 months

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Confirmed: Monologue Song (Taylor’s Version) is coming

#taylor swift #bill hader #golden globes 2024 #golden globes #snl #saturday night live #monologue song

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topperscumslut · 1 year

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Flip the Script (NSFW)

Summary: Bill punishes you after you make him break character during a sketch

Time: roughly sometime from 2008-2010

Content/warning: smut, porn with a plot, unedited stoned writing, fingering, oral (fem receiving), spanking, vaginal sex, protected sex, choking, breast worshipping, brat kink, praise kink, begging kink, male moaning, public sex

Word Count: 1.8k

It was your favorite night of the week - Saturday night. It wasn’t that you had a crazy party to go to, well, not until after work at least. It was that you had the best job in the world, working for Saturday Night Live with your steady boyfriend Bill and your castmates who were like family to you. Tonight, you and John had something special planned.

Mulaney was always making Hader laugh by switching his lines in Weekend Update with Stefon, but this time John had let you take the reigns. You were newer to writing but he coached you through it, and with a little help from Andy Samberg, you had a sketch that was sure to send your boyfriend into hysterics.

You felt a little bad at first, you didn’t want to upset or embarrass Bill, but John reassured you he did it all the time and he wasn’t upset. He was right, you thought, and what should I be scared about? Even if Bill was mad, he would never hurt me… unless I wanted him to.

Now, it was finally the night of the show and you, John, and Andy, couldn’t contain your giggles about the switched lines you were unexpectedly springing onto Bill later tonight. You made your way over to your boyfriend’s makeup chair where he was getting ready for the show, already in his game show host character suit, and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek.

“Hey, love bug!” he wrapped you up in his arm, “I’m so excited to be performing the first sketch you’ve ever written tonight! That’s huge!”

You giggled at how enthusiastic Bill got over you, you really were extremely lucky. “I gotta admit, I do have a few little surprises planned…”

Bill’s eyes widen.

“You better not make me break up there!”

“Aww, whatcha gonna do about it Hader, punish me?”

This makes his eyes widen even more, before he collects himself and pulls you in closer, whispering in your ear.

“That’s exactly what I’ll do.”

You attempt to control the arousal now pooling between your legs from the rasp in his voice, and see how much you can get away with teasing him.

“Oh noooo, I’m so scared!” you chuckled, giving your lover a snarky wink.

“You’re scared? I have no idea what I’m gonna have to say out there!”

You roll your eyes with affection and place your hand on his neck, “babe, it’s not that bad, I swear. I love you, and I know you’re going to crush it.”

Bill plants a kiss on your cheek. “I love you too.”

The two of you pull yourselves together from the dishevel of the sexual tension, and continue getting ready for the night before exchanging a quick peck right before the start of the show.

After opening with one of your skits with Amy, Bill is up. John flashes you a mischievous grin and you feel your stomach churn from adrenaline.

Only a few seconds in, you’re getting the tiniest smile out of Bill, him shooting you a look as he sees his opening line is changed. By two minutes in, he can hardly keep it together as his lips grow into a goofy smile and he’s nearly doubling over with laughter.

You lock eyes with him as he starts to calm down from his laughing fit, mouthing “good boy,” which causes him to squirm in an attempt to fight back both the laughter and the sudden tent growing in his pants.

By the end of the sketch, you and John are laughing your asses off and Bill is red as a tomato, playfully flipping the two of you off as he walks backstage.

He takes you into his arms and places a chaste kiss on your lips, pinning your hands behind your back when you try to hold his face. “I don't know whether to be more proud of you for your writing or annoyed at you for embarrassing me.”

You kiss him back with a small laugh. “I’d stick with proud.”

He leans down and whispers in your ear, “let’s just hope you decide it’s worth it after tonight.”

Chills run down your spine in lust and anticipation as Bill kisses your cheek and walks away. The rest of the night goes by smoothly, act after act, just as planned. At the end of the show, you and the rest of the crew all join the stage to say your goodbyes, before gathering together to clock out and head to the cast after party.

Bill’s already teasing you in the back of the taxi, kissing your neck with his fingers in your hair, and rubbing his hands up and down your thighs.Your purple cocktail dress barely covers you, and your beloved boyfriend can’t keep his eyes off of your body.

When you make it to the nice Mexican restaurant the party is at, you greet the cast, hugging an already tipsy Kristen and fist bumping Andy. You and Bill go sit down with Seth and Jason and make small talk while waiting for your food after ordering. In the middle of the conversation, you feel Bill feel his way up your leg, making his way from your knee nearly to where your legs meet. He pretends to nod along to something Jason said, but then turns and nods to you to ask for consent, to which you nod back.

Before you know, Bill has his right hand in your panties, massaging your clit while you fight to hold back your moans.

“You doing ok, (Y/N)?” Seth asks.

“Y-yeah, just, a little, um buzzed.”

Bill laughs, shaking his head with affection, “my little lightweight.” He shoots you a devilish glance, knowing damn well the real reason isn’t the alcohol in your system.

Right as you start to speak up again, Bill gently sticks one finger inside of you, causing you to gasp. You collect yourself as quickly as possible, trying not to let on to what was happening under the table.

Bill suddenly stops, abruptly stepping up from the table, announcing he’s going to use the restroom, leaving you with the guys to pretend like nothing had happened. Within five minutes, the three of you had diverged, still waiting for your food, splitting apart and joking with your coworkers when you get a text from Bill.

Meet me in the closet by the kitchen.

You bite your cheek, exhilaration flooding your body. No one will notice if both of you are gone for a couple minutes, right? You excuse yourself, walking to the hallway and right past the bathrooms, over to a large closet across from the kitchen.

You open the door and Bill beckons you in, shirt already unbuttoned, before pulling you in for a passionate kiss.

“Did you think it was funny making me break out there, doll?” he asks, fingers brushing your chin. He kisses you again before you can answer.

Between heavy breaths, you try to talk some reason into things. “Bill, we can’t do this here, someone could catch us. What if our friends-“

“What? What if our friends what? You can make me break character on live television, but are scared of all our friends knowing what a good little slut you are for me?”

Your breath catches in your throat, unable to speak. Bill starts to kiss up and down your body and you surrender to the sensation as he engulfs his face in your breasts, slipping off your dress to expose you to his touch and sucking and licking them while praising you. Telling you what a good girl you are, what beautiful tits you have for him. He leaves dozens of hickeys on your chest before making his way down to your bikini line.

Bill starts to kiss around the bottom of your pelvis, making you whine and beg for him. He finally gives in, holding you up against the wall before removing your lacy panties and sticking his face between your legs. Your knees start to give out as you moan and gasp his name, Bill licking up and down your folds and sucking teasingly on your clit. He inserts two fingers into you, curling them around your g spot, before pulling out as he feels you start to clench.

“Damnit Bill!”

He chuckles a little and looks you up and down, “told you there’d be consequences.”

Bill starts to undress, throwing his clothes recklessly onto the floor. He pulls out and slides on a condom, before lifting you up onto the wall again and making you beg before sliding into you. He steadies himself by placing his hands above your head before starting to pump into you as a familiar Arctic Monkeys tune plays through the restaurant stereo.

“Holy fuck, Bill! Harder!”

At this point, you don’t really care who hears. All you care about is your desperate need to cum. Most of the cast is probably enjoying their dinner anyway, none the wiser to you and Bill being gone.

You gasp in pleasure and pain as Bill raises his hand and spanks you while thrusting in you. “Such a good little fucking brat. Taking it so well.”

You start to feel him throb inside of you and his dominant demeanor falls from his face as his head tilts back and his eyes roll back in pleasure, lip quivering. You can tell he’s getting close and clench your walls on him, eliciting a deep groan.

Bill’s speed increases as he muffles his moans into your neck, so close to release. You feel your orgasm approaching as well and dig your nails into his back as he pumps into you. You throw your head back, nearly hitting the wall before Bill’s hand secures you, as he fills you completely and the tingling pleasure overtakes your whole body. You swear you see stars as Bill pushes you over the edge, hand wrapped gently but firmly around your throat.

Bill reaches his high at the same time, pulling you into him for an intimate kiss, hands fondling your body. He pulls out of you before planting a kiss on the top of your head and helping you get dressed, adjusting the collar of his shirt as the two of you make your way back to the party.

“You did such a good job, babygirl,” he whispers to you with a kiss as you join the rest of the guests.

“(Y/N)!” Kristen calls to you. “Where the hell have you been? Your quesadilla is getting cold!” She gasps in surprise and amusement as her eyes draw to your neck and chest, noticing your hickeys.

“Damn, why do I never get that treatment when I make you break?” John chuckles.

Bill turns beet red again, laughing awkwardly with the group while helping you to your chair. After a long night of laughs, food, and drinks, you and Bill finally make it home, changing into your pajamas and holding each other until morning, excited to spend your day off together repeating the night before.

#bill hader #bill hader x reader #bill hader smut #bill hader fanfic #snl #saturday night live #smut #saturday night live after party #andy samberg #john mulaney

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