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#beth mead and viv miedema
meademalove · 3 days
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Beth, Viv, and Leah at Wimbledon, 2023.
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wosoamazing · 29 days
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Diabetes
Summary: You join arsenal and move in with Beth and Viv, you're nervous how everything will go, but ultimately it was perfect
Warnings: Diabetes, Hypoglycaemia, Glucagon shot, let me know if anything else.
A/N: Just a bit of a cute fluffy fic, I tried to get everything right medically but IDK if it is perfect. I hope you like it. If I did get something wrong let me know. Also as always happy to do part 2s if requested but pls add some detail on what you want to see.
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You were originally going to move in with Leah however the Medical Team said it would be best for you to live with two people, so you moved in with Beth and Viv, you were very nervous as to how they would perceive you, and whether they would be accommodating of your diabetes or not. You knew the medical team had discussions with them and that the club had forced them to do the emergency training for really bad lows and highs, what you didn't know was that they asked the club if they could find them some more training courses, they had done just about everyone single one, from how to use a Dexcom and an Omnipod as these were the devices you used, to how to live everyday life with diabetes. 
So when you turned up to their house you were very surprised to see some snacks sitting out on the bench, each with a piece of paper next to them, with the amount of carbs in them. They had really gone out of their way to help you settle in and make your life easier.
“Um, we have something to show you.” Beth said, kind of hesitant, you followed them over to a cupboard, “Um, it might be a little silly but this is for you,” she said as she opened the cupboard. It was empty other than some shelves, and draws, some organisation baskets, a mini fridge and a basket full of lollies. “There are some juices in there, we didn’t know what flavour you liked so we bought a pack of each, if you don’t like a flavour that's okay, we also got you these, they are all 15g of Carbs each, um but we can buy anything else you want or prefer, and um we thought you could put all of your supplies in here so they are organised and there is even a label maker so we can label the draws and stuff if you want oh and this is for you I suppose.” She said as she picked up a phone, it was a brand new iPhone 15 “it's more for the club, they were originally going to by you a android but we told them you wouldn't use it so yeah, the idea is we connect it to you sensors as like an additional deceive, so that everyone has access to your levels, so like at night we will keep it beside our bed so if anything happens we are alerted and during games the medical staff will have it and during training I think Kelly is mainly going to have it.” you nodded knowing you couldn't speak, the kindness of both women, and seeing how much they more cared and were going to 100% help you caused you to become emotional you felt a single tear roll down your face, causing the pair to pack lightly “You could have a cupboard somewhere else if you wanted or we could show you, your bedroom, it's pretty bare but we had plans to take you shopping so you could decorate it and make it your own,” another tear roll down your face, “are you okay, did I say something wrong? Did I do something wrong?” you shook your head “th-thank you” Beth pulled you in for a hug “it's nothing really” but it was something it was everything, it was perfect. You spent your day moving in. 
You set up the cupboard first, you drew a plan of where everything was going to go, detailing it before everything started to get put into the cupboard. Your plan worked very well and the cupboard was very organised and practical. Viv thought it was quite cute, she was going to like this side of you very much. Once you had set up the cupboard you got to go shopping, first you went to the homemaker centre, buying some bedspreads, pillows, and decorations from multiple different shops, to make more room in the car you had to do a pit stop at home, chucking it sll through the front door, before heading back out for lunch, it was the first time Beth and Viv had experienced eating out with Diabetes, well even just eating and diabetes. You were very well practised at it, and helped Beth and Viv learn, showing them how you did everything, you taught them how to estimate carbs, but that differently needed practise on their end, you also showed how you can either your phone or your pod controller to set up the insulin delivery and you even pricked their fingers to test their levels for fun, you liked how they weren’t over cautious about it and how they weren’t treating you differently, and also the fact that they didn’t see it as annoying, really you just liked everything about them. You then went to IKEA to get a desk, a chest of drawers and some other items for your bedroom. Once you got home you set up your room, you were putting your clothes away when you were interrupted by Beth and Viv calling you down for dinner.
“Stuffed capsicums!” You yelled as you walked into the kitchen.
“Inside voice,” “Vivvy, it’s cute, your parents told us they were one of your favourites and we thought after the lunch we had today they would be a good choice, how many do you want?”
“Two please, thank you,” “you’re welcome, if you want we can sit on the couch and watch a movie.” you nodded your head before making your way over to the couch.
-
“Come in,” Viv said after you knocked on the door, her face dropped when you opened the door and she saw your red puffy eyes, and tear stained cheeks. You had been crying because you were so relieved and happy, and you wanted to thank them again.
“Kleintje, is everything okay?” Viv asked, causing Beth to pop her head out of the bathroom mid teeth brushing, the sight of you caused her to quickly move back to the bathroom rinsing out her mouth before pulling you in for a hug.
“T-thank you, for everything, it was perfect, you didn’t have to do any of it”
“Of course Kleintje,” Viv walked over to the two of you joining in the hug.
“We want you to feel welcomed and comfortable, it is now your house too. But please if you need us for anything at all you can come wake us up, our door is always open.” 
“Figuratively, not literally” you giggled slightly at Viv’s comment.
“Let's all go to sleep. Hey. We have a big day ahead of us tomorrow” Beth said.
_____
Your second day was a training day, you Beth and Viv arrived early, as you had a few meetings, the first one was with Jonas and Kelly, about everything but also your diabetes, then the medics and some other people, Beth and Viv came with you to all of them. As you sat in the tactical session, you sipped on your apple juice popper as you listened intently, trying to ignore Beth and Steph’s talking, you were one to think tactics were a major part of the game, something else Viv would come to like. You then had a short gym session and then it was lunch, everyone was wondering what it was going to be, you already knew but decided not to tell them, you had been given the menu for the week, to select some things that you would want, so that they could make up a plate for you, ensuring they could tell you the exact amount of carbs. You walked in to find your plate sitting on the bench next to all the other food, it was a chicken burger, on wholemeal bread rather than a burger bun, you also had some snacks. There was a piece of paper next to it that had your name on it and the amount of carbs in each item, including each item of the burger. You picked up your plate and walked over to Beth, who pointed to the table she usually sat at, so you sat down there, waiting for her and others to join you, Kelly soon walked in with your kit, which you accidentally forgot at the meeting, you took it from her gratefully and she told you what would be happening in training so you had some idea of how much you needed to adjust your insulin. You picked up your phone and checked to see what it said your sugars were at, your phone said your sugars were at 90 which was perfect considering your target range was between 80-100, you were unzipping your kit when some of the team came to sit down, Beth sat next to you, Steph, Katie, and Caitlin also sat down. You pulled out your lancing device and pricked your finger, using your metre to confirm your reading before putting the units you needed for the burger into your pod controller.
“Do you mind us asking?” Katie questioned what you were doing.
“Um, I have diabetes, I was diagnosed when I was two, but it means that I have to manually control my blood sugars. My body doesn't do it at all, so I have to calculate the insulin I need for when I eat," "Right,” she nodded her head.
____
You had a few hiccups with your diabetes since living with Beth and Viv, but nothing major, however that was going to change. It was the 60th minute and you felt your body start shaking, the medics hadn’t called a paused or called you over and even thought you felt funny at half time your levels were normal, if anything slightly high, but you knew you were low, not only was your body shaking, but your brain hurt and felt foggy, you were also struggling to not fall over. You knew you needed to get off the pitch soon, before you passed out. A corner gave you the perfect opportunity to tell Beth you were low, you walked up to her, she looked at you confused and concerned.
“L-Low” you managed to say to Beth before you collapsed forward on her, she lowered you to the ground and the ref immediately blew the whistle, the medical team was on the pitch immediately, players from both teams were starting to form a huddle around you, trying to protect you from the media.
-
They were checking your sugars, as Beth got a Glucagon shot ready, she was ready to go when she got the nod of approval from the medics. Beth injected the shot into you and you were immediately rolled onto your side by the medics, waking up just moments later, in a panicked state, sitting up. 
“It’s okay, you passed out from being low, we had to give you a Glucagon, but it’s okay, you’re going to be okay.” Beth said as she rubbed your back.
“S-sta-stay?” you managed to get out eyes wide open with fear.
“Go with her, I’ll tell Jonas,” Beth nodded.
Viv met you and Beth in the medical room, she sat on a chair while Beth sat on the bed with you, you were given some gummy bears as well as an apple juice popper, to try and elevate your levels, you were still shaky and sweaty but your vision was completely clear and the medics and paramedics cleared you, which meant you didn't have to go to the hospital, but Beth and Viv had very strict instructions to take you to the hospital if certain things happened, such as seizures, loss of consciousness and others. 
“Do you want to go home now Kleintje?” you nodded as you ate a gummy bear.
_____
You were very nervous for your first camp, for how the staff would handle your diabetes but more so the team. The last game you played for Arsenal was the one you passed out during. You visited your endo after that incident and he had recommended putting tape over your sensor and pod when you played. The sensor had slightly pulled out during your arsenal game and so it wasn't actually reading your blood sugar.
It was your first training session and Beth had helped you, with the supervision of the medical team, put tape around your arms covering your sensor and pod, it was so you could get used to the feeling of it before your first game. You weren't required to have tape over your sensor and pod during training as you had frequent breaks which you could be checked during.
-
As you warmed up with Lauren Esme and Niamh, Ella and Alessia walked over to you.
“Why do you have tape on your arms?”  Ella asked. “Ella you can't just ask that” Mary said as she walked over with Beth, who had overhead the question, so she stood behind you placing her hands on your shoulders. “You don't have to tell them.” Beth whispered in your ear, you did want to tell them but you weren't sure you wanted to tell them right now.
“Oh um,” you were saved by Sarina calling the team over. While Sarina talked one of the medics came over to you, she handed you the phone and you saw your reading, being nodding and sticking your hand out to her, hoping that somehow in the non contact warm up the sensor had moved and that reading wasn't true, as if it was you most likely weren't going to get to do training this morning. You were handed a small container filled with 6 sour worms which told you the reading was true, you opened the container and started to eat them while Sarina kept talking.
“Why don’t we get sour worms?” Ella whined.
“Because you’re not special enough.” you inform her, causing everyone to break out into laughter.
“I like her,” Millie said as she high fived you. Sarina ignored all the commotion, she was obviously used to it and just continued talking. “Y/N could I just talk to you quickly?” she said as you and the girls started to disperse, you nodded and walked over to her.
“Sorry Sarina. I didn’t mean to-” “No, that's not what I wanted to speak about but I appreciate the apology. I wanted to talk to you about telling the girls, is it something you would like to do?”
“Um, yeah I think, I just don’t know how to tell them and like I don't want them to think of me differently”
“That's okay, I think sooner rather than later would be better, maybe today during dinner? During the announcements. Beckky could help you, or even Beth or anyone you wanted, I could even just tell them and we wouldn't need to discuss it if you wanted.”
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katiemcabeswife · 4 months
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Daddy Issues
Biv Meadema x Teen!Reader || The Christmas break was ruined by your Dad's anger issues but Beth and Viv are there to pick up the pieces of your broken heart.
4.9k words (proud ✊🏼)
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You were more than happy to be back in dreary London after the Christmas break, which was abnormal because you loved your home country and having Christmas with your family.
This Christmas had been a good one, after a couple years of cold and rainy summers, Australia had finally had a cracker of a summer and for the first time in years, the lead-up to Christmas actually felt like Christmas again.
You always loved getting to be home with your family and being able to go to the beach every day and this year was no different. Christmas day was wonderful, it started with a swim at the beach and was followed by a beautiful lunch filled with laughter and joy from friends and family.
Your relationship had always been a bit rocky. Sometimes you got on like a house fire, poking fun at your sister together and doing work around the house but other times you got on like cats and dogs. Your mum had always said that you two were too alike and that’s why you fought as much as you did. But it was also known within the four walls of your house that your Dad could be bipolar at times and had an explosive temper and should definitely be in some sort of program for his anger issues that seemed to come out of nowhere.
It was a few days after Christmas and only a few days were left before left to go back to London. You and your Dad were joking like usual and everything seemed fine, until it wasn’t.
You had some family friends over and you guys had just started a game of poker when your Dad asked you to go clean up the kitchen.
“Dad, we literally just started. I’ll do it after, don’t worry,” You weren’t facing him so you couldn’t see his unamused face and took his silence as a silent agreement.
Not even five minutes later he asked you again, “Alright. Now go do the dishes, Y/N,” He said sternly. You had an ongoing joke between the two of you where he would pretend to be stern about something and you would jokingly say ‘No’ right before getting up to go and do whatever he had asked of you. As you were still facing away from him and knew he could see you were still engaged in the game of poker, you assumed he was only joking.
“No,” You giggled slightly and so did the others around the table, “I’m almost out anyways, I’m running out of candy canes,” You joke as candy canes had been the substitution for money.
He only became more consistent with his asking and it was starting to piss you off. You weren’t very good at gambling and were trying to focus and his nagging was throwing you off.
Once you finally got out, first by the way, you were getting up to go and clean the kitchen when your Dad once again asked you to go and do exactly that, “What does it look like I’m doing?” You were fed up with his nagging and your voice portrayed that and the others around the table picked up on it.
“Someone’s mad they lose,” Your sister called out to you.
“Don’t be mad just because you lost!” Your cousin teased.
“Off you go to clean the kitchen,” One of your Dad's mates called out.
“Don’t be mad that you lost!” Your Dad called out which was the final straw for you.
“I’m not mad about losing, I’m pissed off because you’re sitting right behind me asking to clean the kitchen every 5 seconds when you can clearly see that I was in the middle of a game!” You can understand why your Mum says you and your Dad were so alike, but to be fair, he was extremely annoying with his constant nagging behind you.
After making your way inside and to the kitchen you began cleaning but were soon interrupted by your father storming into the kitchen pervaded with anger, "How fucking dare you?" You turned around and saw him making his way over to you.
You thought he was joking in the way you two had been for the past week you spent together, "What?" Your tone held an essence of humour to cover the genuine confusion.
"Get the fuck out!" Your father screamed at you.
"What!" You screamed in confusion as your entire body filled with dread and fear.
"After everything we've done for you! Get the fuck out!" You were trembling with fear when he stepped closer to you, held your arm with one hand and raised his other. You coward away from the large man you recognised as your father.
You ducked under his arm, picked up your keys and ran out of the house and towards your car. You got in and sat in silence for a moment before a wave of sadness washed over your body like a cold shower and you began to sob. You held your hands over your face and cried, you cried like you did when you were 7 years old and didn't finish your dinner because you were sick and your Dad yelled at you just like he had just now, like you did when you were 14 and stood up for your sister who was too scared to and your Dad's face was just as angry as it was a few minutes ago, just like you did when you were 16 and talked back to your Dad, fed up with his borderline misogynistic comments and you were almost as scared of him as you were right now.
You cried because you were scared your father was going to hit you. Your Dad always had a temper and exploded from time to time but never had he ever grabbed you and never had you genuinely believed he was going to hit you. Your hands were shaking and your chest hurt as you couldn't take in a full breath of air and your head was beginning to hurt from crying so hard. You were 19 years old and still crying over your Dad.
After 15 minutes of crying your heart out you started your car and went on a drive. You drove to the beach and took out the towel that was still in your car from your trip earlier that day and you walked towards the water. The waves had calmed and were no longer crashing into the shore with great force but softly rolled through the water and flattened against the sand with grace. You set down your towel and stripped from your clothes, thanking yourself for staying in your bikini all day and walked into the water.
You dove under the water and relished in the calmness and quietness you felt swimming. Once you'd swam out until you couldn't touch you moved to float on your back, closed your eyes and took a deep breath. You floated there numbly for at least 20 minutes before you got out and wrapped yourself in your towel. You sat in the sad, silent tears rolling down your cheeks as you watched the sun dip below the horizon. Once the light had been stripped from the sky you walked back to your car before the light of an ice cream shop caught your eyes.
You treated yourself to a double-scooped waffle cone and sat down outside the shop, looking over the beach you could barely make out. You knew how your Father would act if you went back home, he would ignore you, pretend you didn't exist and not talk to you until he felt better and after that time was up you would have to pretend nothing happened. You always did so because he was your father, your best friend at times and how could you not forgive him for screaming in your face?
You were grown now though and you weren't going to pretend this never happened and you decided that you weren't going to talk to him until he apologised. You knew that wasn't going to happen anytime soon so, you got out your phone and booked a flight back to London.
Once you had finished your ice cream it was well into the night and you had a flight to catch in 6 hours so you went back to pack your things.
You thought that everyone would have left by now and your family would be asleep but by the number of familiar cars littered through the street and the lights still on in your house, you knew that was not the case. You took a deep breath before walking into the house, keeping your head held high but not making eye contact with anyone. You walked straight past the living room ignoring the calls of your name and headed straight to your childhood room.
You were putting the few things that were spread around back into your suitcase when your Mum walked in, "Y/N, what happened honey?"
You tried to contain your tears as you turned to look at your Mum but as soon as you started speaking, the floodgates opened and you sobbed again, "I thought he was going to hit me," You said through the tears and your mother took you into her arms, securing your head with one hand, the other rubbing up and down your back to comfort you.
"I'm sorry, y/n/n, I'm sorry, but you know that you shouldn't push your father like that," You ripped yourself out of her hold and stared at her in betrayal, "You two are too similar, it's only a matter of time before joking become reality and laughing becomes crying. You know he has a temper, you need to be careful. I also think you should be the bigger person and apologise." She said. Whilst you didn't blame your mother for your father's actions a part of you despised how she always sat and watched you and your sister cry while he yelled at you two minutes after laughing with you.
You turned around silently zipped up your suitcase and walked to leave, "Where are you going, baby?"
You faced her with fresh tears born from anger, " I am leaving, I'm going back to London because I shouldn't have to 'be careful' around my own Dad. You know how fucked that is!? I shouldn't have to be the bigger person! He's a grown man, he needs to learn to regulate his fucking feelings and act like it!" You had never shouted at your Mum and you barely ever swore around her but you were tired of her picking your Dad's side over yours.
She tried to reach out to you but you brushed past her slightly and walked out the door. You should have been the bigger person and left silently but you heard your Dad laugh in the living so you left your suitcase at the door and walked to where your Dad sat. You walked straight up to him with a straight face, flung your middle finger into his direction and said, "Fuck you, you fucking pussy." You walked straight out the door and didn't hear a word from anyone in the house.
You spent the entire 24-hour trip back to London reflecting on the past day and what it meant for the future of the relationship with your parents. You knew your Mum just wanted to be the mediator and that your Dad was too stubborn to apologise. You also knew that you were going to stick to your word and not speak to your parents until they apologised. You also grieved the relationship with your father as you knew that it would never be the same ever again. It was one thing that he grabbed you and then he had to restrain himself from actually hitting you.
You grieved for the little girl who just wanted to please her father, who wished she was a boy because your Dad often talked about how much he wanted one. He was the reason you started football. Girls didn't really play it, it was seen as something only boys should be doing, so you cut your hair and signed up for the local club. He came to every game and cheered you on and after a good game he'd say to you, "Who needs a son when I've got you," It seemed like a nice statement but looking back on it, it really messed with you.
It was only when you moved out and overseas to play for Arsenal at 17 that you realised that your Dad really wasn't the best guy and an even worse Father. Albeit that you never said or did anything about it because you thought of all those kids whose Dad hit them or left them when they were young and reminded yourself that you were lucky.
But now, after 2 years of living by yourself and a therapy session here and there you realised that just because other kids had it worse didn't mean that what you went through was ok or that you didn't deserve to be treated the way you were.
When you landed and got your luggage it was 8 in the morning and you felt your phone buzzing in your hand. Beth was calling you and you weren't sure if you should answer but you knew she would worry if you didn't so you headed to the nearest bathroom and answered her Facetime, "Hey, Beffy," Your voice was a little hoarse from crying and you hoped Beth wouldn't pick up on how red your eyes were.
Beth smiled at you, "Hey chicky," She must have noticed that you were hiding in a bathroom, "What you doing?" She questioned.
"Umm," You hesitated, "I'm in the bathroom... In the airport," You said sheepishly.
Beth's smile dropped and her face took up a concerned look, "Why are you at the airport? Which one?"
You picked at your nails, anxious to tell her where you were and scared she would ask why, "London," You almost whispered.
"Oh," She looked really concerned now, "Do you want me to come pick you up?"
You shook your head quickly not wanting to be a nuisance, "It's alright thank you, I've ordered an Uber," You smiled slightly at the thoughtfulness of your friend.
"Well, why don't you come over for breakfast. I want to hear all about your holiday and I can even get Vivi to make the special waffles you like?" She was so hopeful you couldn't deny her offer and you really wanted Viv's special waffles.
"Yeah ok, I'll be there around 9? Is that alright?" Anxiety pulled at your chest at the thought of telling her and Viv about what happened with your Dad.
"Perfect, I'll see you soon, chicky!" You smiled and hung up the phone. You walked out of the cubicle and splashed water on your face to try and even out your breathing.
"Fucking idiot."
Thanking the Uber you rushed up the stairs towards Viv and Beht's place eager to fill your hungry stomach although once you'd got to the door you hesitated to knock. You checked your eyes in your phone camera and concluded that you could blame the slight redness and puffiness from sleeping and hayfever (it seemed you had hayfever all the time and the girls always made fun of your sneezes and even kept count, each time urging you to beat your 'high score').
You took a deep breath to release the hold anxiety seemed to have on your heart before knocking on the door. You instantly heard Myle and Rona barking and the sound and smiled, now excited to play with the puppies.
"Y/N/N! Oh, my little chicky," You were immediately wrapped in a hug from the girl and whilst reciprocating it you felt the urge to cry taking over you once again but you had cried enough for a long time and told yourself to suck it up.
"Hi, Beffy," Your voice was muffled from you pressing it into the crook of Beth's neck.
Beth waited for you to release the hug (she seemed to have a sense of when people needed a hug) and when you did she took your face between her hands, "How have you been, y/n/n?" She asked worriedly.
You smiled sadly at her, "I'm alright, thanks, how are you?"
Beth didn't seem convinced but knew you were aware you could talk to her at any time and if you weren't ready, she would wait, "I am even better now that you are here!" She exclaimed before taking your suitcase in one hand and your hand in her other and dragged you into the house, "Oh, Vivi! I've just gotten a very special delivery!" She turned back and winked at you but continued to lead you to the kitchen.
"Y/N/N!" Viv said with mock enthusiasm, trying to match Beth's with great difficulty with it being early in the morning.
You met her in the middle and gave her a hug, knowing she was joking and that she wasn't a morning person, "Hi, Vivi," You greeted.
Once you broke out of the hug you sheepishly looked to the waffle machine and back to Viv who caught on to your looks, "They'll be 'bout 2 minutes. I know two fluffy little girls who would love to see you," She egged on and you quickly went to find the puppies.
Once you spotted them you dropped to your knees and soon you had two dogs jumping on you and licking your face, "Hello Miss Rona and hello Miss Myle! How are we today my girls!" You spoke in a baby voice and continued to talk to the dogs as if they were such, oblivious to the conversation happening in the kitchen.
"Is she alright? She looks like she's been crying. And wasn't she supposed to come back in another 4 days?" Viv questioned.
Beth sighed and wrapped her arms around her girlfriend, "I don't know what's up but she definitely has been crying and I bet that would explain why she's back so early. When I called she looked like she'd only just stopped crying, I don't know what happened," She looked desperately at Viv. Beth and Viv were unofficially your step-in parents whilst you were in London or wherever you travelled with Arsenal. Beth was a second Mum to you and she took her role very seriously, always checking if you'd had a good sleep and what you had for dinner and if neither of you had plans she would always invite you over for dinner and a movie.
Viv was your unofficial 'Dad' as you'd claimed and would come over to your apartment to fix anything that needed to be done and give you piggyback rides when you were 'too tired' to walk, "Do you want to ask after breakfast? I don't want her to feel overwhelmed, maybe I'll take Myle and Rona for a walk and you could talk to her then?"
Beth nodded, "Yeah alright, I'll do that," She agreed with a sad face.
Viv noticed the look and hugged her again, "She'll be alright, she's with us now, yeah?"
"I just worry about her when she goes home. I miss her as well," She took a deep breath and put on a brave face when you walked in with Rona and Myle on her heels.
"Umm, I think the waffles are done?" You pointed to the waffle iron that was lightly smoking.
Viv rushed over and took out the waffles that were only slightly burned around the edges, "Crispy edges give them more flavour," she told you when she put them in front of you.
You looked up at her in amusement, "Of course, Vivi," You joked while adding your choice of toppings.
You, Beth and Viv conversed lightly over breakfast about your trip home and what you got up to whilst in Australia. You told them what you did with a smile on your face but they both noticed how it didn't stretch as far as usual and how you talked as if your parents hadn't been there at all albeit you staying in their house.
"Right, y/n/n you can go get yourself sorted in the spare room. You are staying tonight," Beth ordered jokingly to which you smiled and nodded in agreement, not really wanting to be alone for another night, "Vivi's gonna walk the puppies and I'll clean up." She clapped her hands and everyone spread off to their 'assignments'.
As Viv was a very clean cook Beth's cleaning was more or less tidying and she quickly joined you in the spare bedroom, "Hey chicken," She spoke softly when she walked in and noticed you staring at the wall looking crestfallen.
You smiled as brightly as you could, "Hi Beffy, sorry I got distracted. I'm a little bit jet-lagged," You waved off, "Do you need help cleaning the kitchen?"
Beth joined you on the bed, "It's all sorted don't worry sweetheart. How you feeling?" She questioned looking you deep in the eyes.
Her stare was so loving and concerned that it made that stupid feeling of crying come back, "I'm fine? You?" Your voice was slightly off as you had a lump in your throat but tried to play it off.
Beth sighed as she didn't want to press you but had to know what was going on with you, "Chick..." She spoke softly and you had to turn your head so she wouldn't see your eyes filling with tears.
She placed a hand on your shoulder and rubbed it gently and you couldn't hold it anymore, your hands came to cover your face and you brought your knees up to your chest and sobbed loudly.
"Oh, honey, no," Beth hated seeing anyone cry but you had a special place in her heart which hurt her even more. She moved your head to be on her shoulder and your legs to lay across her own. She rocked slightly and continued to rub your back. You were hysterical at this point, the comfort Beth was bringing you reminded you of your mother which reminded you of her taking your father's side which brought on another loud sob from deep in your chest.
Beth had to lift your head from her neck to make sure you could get enough oxygen and wouldn't pass out, "Honey, I know it's hard but I need you to take a deep breath for me please," She grabbed your water bottle from the nightstand and gave it to you and you clung to it like a lifeline.
You truly were trying to calm yourself but you couldn't stop crying and you couldn't get enough air to your lungs which was starting to hurt and you began to cough and gag. "Lovely, what's going on?" Beth was extremely concerned you were going to pass out.
After another minute of coughing and gagging you managed to get enough air into your lungs and nestled your head back into Beth's neck and she took your body back into her arms, "I thought he was going to hit me," You cried out as if the words caused you physical pain.
Beth was shell-shocked from the words that came out of your mouth but quickly recovered to comfort you. "Your dad?" She questioned as you had confided in her before about his temper.
You nodded and whimpered slightly as you had calmed down and were no longer audibly sobbing, "And mum," The thought of your mother made you sob again and it took you another minute to rein it back in all whilst Beth sat there patiently waiting for you to talk.
You managed a deep breath and Beth wiped your face free of tears although they were quickly replaced with new ones, "My dad got really angry and then he grabbed my arm and he had his fist up," You cried, "I thought he was going to hit me!" You sobbed.
Beth shook her head and cooed, "Did he?"
You shook your head and Beth relaxed slightly, "And then mum said- she said that I should know better than to push his buttons and that I needed to be careful and that I should apologise!" You weren't the only one who was angry now but Beth had to contain hers to continue to comfort you.
Beth shook her head, "That's not ok, y/n/n, it's not and I am so sorry you had to go through that and I'm glad that you told me, thank you for trusting me,"
You nodded sadly, "I love you Beffy," And you collapsed into her hold and cried silently as she rocked you.
"I love you too, chick, did you leave straight after that?" She questioned wanting to get a better idea of how quickly you left.
She felt you shake your head 'no', "I drove off to the beach and then got myself an ice cream and booked the flight. And once I got home, that's when mum said all that stuff but I'd already packed my bag so I went to leave but my dad was in the living room and he was laughing. I don't know what he was laughing at but it made me so angry so I went and called him a 'fucking pussy'," You both giggled slightly at it, you weren't known to swear and it always sounded weird coming from your mouth.
"I'm proud of you, sweets," Beth kissed the top of your head.
You nodded into her chest, "Thank you, for being here for me" You spoke quietly. Beth continued to rock you and had to look to the ceiling to stop herself from crying. She looked down when she heard quiet snoring coming from you and laid you down against the pillow and laughed quietly at you hugging your water bottle.
She had walked into the kitchen before she started crying. She didn't know how long she'd been standing there crying until two sets of paws jumped at her thighs and when she looked up she saw Viv's concerned face.
Viv dropped the leads on the kitchen counter and gently took hold of Beth's arms, "What's happened? Where's y/n?" She questioned quickly.
Beth sobbed quietly, "She- and her dad- oh and then her mum-," She couldn't get a full sentence out so after holding her in her arms to calm her down, Viv gave her a glass of water.
They had moved to the couch which was where Beth explained the whole story to Viv who was extremely concerned, "And she was crying so hard she was coughing and gagging. Vivi, I was so scared she'd pass out and oh her little face! I don't know how I kept it together!" She outraged quietly, acknowledging the fact that you were asleep down the hall.
Viv once again held Beth, just like she had you, "I can't believe it. I've met him and he seemed lovely. I mean I know they didn't always get along but I never thought it was that bad," She spoke in disbelief.
Beth nodded and was significantly more calm than she had been previously, "She's sleeping now. God, she must be exhausted. I feel so bad for her, my poor little chicken," Beth pouted at the thought of your sad face.
"I know, love, but she's here now, right? She is safe and she's sleeping, it'll be ok," Viv consoled.
"Yeah," Beth nodded dejectedly.
Once you woke up you checked your phone and realised you'd slept for 5 hours but it felt like you could sleep for an eternity. You didn't feel up to talking to the girls yet so you opened your phone and scrolled through Instagram for a while. Most of the Arsenal girls had posted photo dumps of the year and you smiled every time you saw yourself in one and when you saw the girl's comments. Beth and Viv's photo dumps warmed your heart. You appeared in almost all of the photos and laughed when you saw Katie's comment.
katie_mccabe11 might aswell adopt y/n/n now, hey?
You felt so loved and warmed that you decided to post your own.
yourusername
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yourusername eternally grateful for my girls, i love you all ❤️ happy new year!
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kyracooneyx awe stop it you sap 🤭
alannakennedy love ya darls 🩷
leahwilliamsonn my favourite chick 🐥
bethmead_ love you chicken ❤️
Once you had plucked up the energy to head outside you were met with Viv and Beth tucked under a blanket with Netflix loaded on the screen in front of them and a variety of your favourite snacks on the table.
"Hey, y/n/n," Viv noticed you first and Beth quirked up at the sound of your name.
You were standing sheepishly in the hall with one of your pant legs pushed up to your knee, your hair a mess and your water bottle between your arms. Beth cooed at the sight of you, "Come over here chick," She moved over so you would sit between her and Viv.
"Any movie suggestions?" Viv asked teasingly, knowing which movie you would want to watch.
You smiled at her and leaned against Beth, "Grown Ups?" You offered and Viv snickered at the choice, it being your go-to movie.
"Of course," She put it on and whilst you could recite the entire movie off by heart you were still upset that you missed most of it but blamed Beth running her hands through your hair and Viv rubbing your lower legs for putting you to sleep, somewhere where you felt safe, warm and loved.
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delfiore · 4 months
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—DO YOU THINK I HAVE FORGOTTEN ABOUT YOU?
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pairing: leah williamson x reader
synopsis: in the end, what is meant to be will always be. or; leah struggles after the break up.
word count: 4.5k
a/n: this is a continuation of LIKE REAL PEOPLE DO. i just have to make things angsty i’m sry, if i don’t i start gnawing at the bars of my enclosure but worry not, this will turn fluffy in the end :)
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EIGHT. Paris.
It took about 45 mins for Leah to decide that she longer wanted to be in this damned opera house.
The red carpet was exhausting enough, but she powered through it, familiar faces like Amelia DiMoldenberg’s making it barely enough to get through.
The dinner had gone into an intermission, and she had a moment to relax from the cameras, being sat at a table not far from the stage. Ever since she first attended the GQ Men of the Year Dinner a few years ago, it had created a lot of buzz around her every year, fans speculating whether she would come again, donning outfits so foreign on her body. Back then, she still had a support system that she looked forward to coming home to. Now, maybe the only positive to this night was that, whatever happened, she would eventually get to go home and sleep by the end of it.
She had to tilt her head all the way up to get a full glimpse of the ceiling. The Royal Opera House wasn’t the oldest building erected in London by far, but it was one of most interesting to look at, if she wasn’t so in love with her club and the look of the Emirates that was. It was grandiose, regal and typical of Baroque architecture, the concave ceiling arching over her, stretching all the way back to the five balconies—generously lit and horse-shoe-shaped seating areas—stacked on top of each other. It looked a little bit like the Théâtre du Châtelet in Paris that she got to see when she attended the Ballon d’Or for the first time a couple of years ago. A lot of things can change in two years, and Leah wasn’t sure whether it was for the better or not.
Her agent caught her in the middle of her admiring when he gave her shoulder a light tap, telling her that she was expected at the after-party too. Great, another two hours she’d have to endure as people praise her name for achievements unworthy of praise, just because she was Leah Williamson, captain of the Lionesses. But whatever else he said after that, Leah didn’t register, because her eyes had found a familiar frame standing a few tables away.
You looked dashing in your black nighttime attire, which sparkled every time the limelight happened to sweep past you. A gentle smile adorned your face as you conversed your heart away with a couple of actors whose names were lost on her. When you put your hand on one of them and laughed, your eyed darted over to her for a split second.
Only when those actors had left, did she even think of approaching you, but her feet were planted on the ground.
One, two, three, she counted in her head. One, two, three; come on, Leah . . .
“Hi, you!” There was a residual cheerfulness from your previous conversation in your voice. “It’s been a while.”
“Yeah,” she tried to chuckle away her nerves, wiping the sweat in her hands on her pant legs. “You been okay?”
“Yeah,” you said it so softly that she almost missed it, if she wasn’t watching your lips. “Are you? Beth says you don’t come around her place anymore.”
“You still talk to Beth?”
“Yeah, she’s my friend, Lee. I . . . hope you don’t mind.”
“No! No, that’s . . . it’s great.” Leah said quickly.
You had smiled at her gratefully, and grasped her hand. “It’s good seeing you again.”
“You too.” She had said, robotically, before deciding against it. “Hey, don’t be a stranger, alright?”
You smiled again. This time, you brought her into your chest and wrapped your arms around her neck. “You first,” you said with a glint in your eyes, then you disappeared into the crowd.
And for a few brief moments, Leah Williamson didn’t think about how exhausted she was, only about how much she has missed being held by you. After all, it had been almost two years since she and you broke up, and maybe Leah was never able to move on like she had promised you.
How could she?
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NINE. Be My Mistake.
She hated the feeling afterwards. She hated herself for having initiated it, for chasing after the girl like a hungry wolf in that nightclub. Now, Leah couldn’t bear the feeling of her lanky arms and sweaty skin touching her, like the intimacy was warranted, like she had somehow earned it.
Leah knew it was begrudging of her to shove the girl’s arm away so heartlessly and move upright to the edge of the bed, but she didn’t care. She couldn’t bring herself to be intimate with someone else, not yet. Not when every time she felt her skin she imagined yours, soft and scented with your familiar smell; every time she closed her eyes she saw your face like a ghost, refusing to leave her psyche; every time she opened her mouth to let out a noise of pleasure, it took everything in her to hold herself back from uttering Y/N, Y/N, Y/N.
The girl was confused but she was still, no doubt trying to decipher the sudden shift in Leah’s demeanor. She hated her stillness, the way her eyes watched her frame like she was a wounded animal in its enclosure.
“Please leave,” Leah said quietly, begging.
Silence.
“I don’t know what you’re going through, but if . . . you need someone—”
“Thank you, Delaney.” She gritted her teeth. “Please get out.”
Tonight, it was Delaney with the fiery red hair and dimples peppered over her cheekbones. A few nights ago, it was Lisa-Mae with the sultry brown eyes and unforgettable plump lips. Then there might have been an Erin and Hailey and Polly and maybe even a Daniela from when she visited Keira in Barcelona. She hated that she somehow remembered all of their names and kept count. Body upon body, yet she could not forget the one body she was using them all to forget about.
She couldn’t turn to alcohol, couldn’t smoke or do hard drugs because they would affect her performance on the pitch, but God knows she was thinking about it constantly. Anything to take this pain away for a moment, lest she turns into the starving wolf and goes out to hunt at night again. If only the press caught on to what she was doing.
Righteous Lioness turned starving wolf the moment the loneliness becomes a little too much to bare.
But she knew you wouldn’t have judged her. No, you would wrap her in your arms and let her scream, cry, do whatever she wanted to rid herself of the torment. She remembered all the nights you spent on the bathroom floor with her as she battled through her endometriosis, and how you would hold her like the world was about to collapse outside the window.
Leah was on the bathroom floor again, but she was alone this time, and the floor tiles felt colder and harsher than she had remembered.
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TEN. Tonight (I Wish I Was Your Boy).
The feeling she got when the three whistles finally blew came to Leah quite rarely. It was one of elation and immense joy that the result of the game was finalized, because she had known half an hour ago that Arsenal would bring home the crucial three points from the match.
She brought her fists in the air as she made her rounds, patting her teammates on the back and shaking hands with opponents. She found Kyra and hoisted her in the air with a tight hug, as her younger teammate managed to score and assist today.
“Thank you, Leah.” Kyra giggled, as she was put down. “Is Y/N here?”
Leah’s smile remained, but she scrunched her eyebrows. “How did you hear about that?”
“How could I not? Y/N Y/L/N, coming to watch us play. I won’t be surprised if social media was buzzing about that rather than the actual match.”
If Kyra knew, that meant the entire team knew. She would endure the endless teasing if it meant getting to see you again, though.
Leah had found where you were sitting right from the start, in the VIP box where her friends and family sat, the usual spot you occupied when you were still together. Back then, she would watch you jog down the stairs with a blinding grin on your face, hop over the barricade and pull her into a bone-crushing hug. It could be a sold-out Emirates Stadium, but the only thing she wanted to watch was you. She still wanted to.
“Hi! Great game today.” You didn’t hug her, but did something far worse. You swung your arm and gave her bicep a quick pat, like a friend would.
“Thanks,” she said. “Should have scored that header though.”
“Hey, don’t put yourself down like that. You were great.” Somehow, your words made her feel worse about herself, and she just wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out again. They felt patronizing.
Not far away, Beth’s joyful laughter cut through her sulking. Turning to look at the woman, she saw Beth wrapping her arms tightly around Viv’s neck and the Dutch spinning her around gleefully. Viv had managed to score a hat-trick today—her first since returning from her ACL injury—and even if she didn’t celebrate such an important feat, she would be dragged into one because her girlfriend definitely wouldn’t leave it alone.
It reminded her of when she would come home and celebrate her wins with you. She didn’t need any fancy parties or lavish gifts, just being in your company was more than enough. You would always end up buying her gifts though. “Just because”, you would say, the I love you going unspoken, but she knew it was there. She could always feel it hanging in the silence, in the spaces in your home, even when you were half a world away filming. She could always feel it, like a hearth, a palpable warmth flickering in her chest.
It made her envious watching Beth and Viv that they had what she once did.
“Y/N! You made it!” Beth’s voice tore Leah from her thoughts.
Despite her sentimental predicament, a chuckle made its way onto her lips as she watched you embrace Beth like two schoolgirls finally united again after the summer holidays.
“How long are you staying in London?” Beth asked.
“I don’t know, really,” you replied. “I’m doing a thing with Stella McCartney, so it might take a while.”
Leah couldn’t help but perk up at that. She could feel Viv glancing at her from the corner of her eyes.
“No way! Look at ya. Moving on to the fashion world already!” Beth exclaimed and gave your shoulder a light shove.
Only when you and Beth had walked away happily chatting did Vivianne elbow her gently.
“They seem happy,” the Dutch said.
“Yeah,” Leah pursed her lips. “That’s good.”
“And you? Are you happy?”
Leah knew that the both of them knew she wasn’t, but that wasn’t the right answer. She would not admit to something that she has been working for two years to get over, because it would mean that her woes were all for nothing.
“I am,” she nodded. “I’m glad they’re happy.”
If anything, Leah still loved you enough to admit that.
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ELEVEN. Me.
Leah didn’t sleep much these days. She never really did—adrenaline being her biggest enemy—but she would find herself crying in frustration at four in the morning, unable to fall asleep.
It would be during those torturous hours that she would reminisce on the conversation in which she pulled the plug on your relationship.
It was a slippery slope of miscommunication, both of you were to blame, but she was the one who decided to run away instead of trying to work it out. She still kept the ring in a drawer somewhere, but the memory of your rejection made it to painful to look at.
In hindsight, she could have said it a bit differently, but she was close to exploding the previous days that all of it came flooding out of her.
She replayed the conversation often, like a broken record in her head, swapping out things that she could have said or you could have said that would have lead to a different outcome, maybe one in which she wasn’t so miserable two years on.
It was 1:43am, and she was wide awake yet again. You’d always had an irregular sleep pattern, and she wondered whether you were awake too.
She knew it was a mistake, and that she would regret it in the morning, but she texted you anyway.
hey are u awake?
Slamming her phone on the other side of the bed, Leah curled in on herself, burying her face in the pillows trying not to cry. If she hadn’t looked up in time, she would almost miss the incoming call on her screen. It was you.
“Hey,” she picked up after sniffling her tears away.
“Hey, you,” your voice was soft and lulling. “What an odd time for a footballer to be awake. Shouldn’t you be getting your beauty sleep?”
This made her chuckle. “If I did get all of my beauty sleep, you lot would have no chance.”
“Watch out, everyone. Leah Williamson’s ego is inflating, try not get crushed by it.”
As Leah’s laughter died down, she felt an awkwardness settled over the line. A silence once so comfortable now felt forced, straining under the pull between what once was and the ruins of it. The heavy weight of unspoken words curled on the tip of her tongue, the broken record of her mistake playing ever louder in her head.
“I didn’t expect to hear from you,” you finally broke the silence, your voice teetering between caution and curiosity.
“Yeah, well, insomnia makes one do questionable things.”
Leah wondered if she had accidentally revealed too much, and whether it was appropriate to do so. You two weren’t intimate anymore, you were barely friends nowadays, the finest thread of your acquaintance lied solely on your hangouts with Beth. How strange it was, you were half of her soul. Now you were almost like passersby on the street.
“Is everything okay?” You asked, a sense of concern in your tone.
“Um,” she hummed, trying to pull herself together. “Not really. I-I haven’t been doing too well.”
“Leah,” you said. “I-I know we’re not as close as we were before, but I wasn’t lying when I said I still want us to be friendly at least. I’m here for you. You know that, right?”
“I know.” She said, her voice wavering. She wouldn’t be able to hide her feelings from you, never you. “I know. I’m sorry I didn’t reach out sooner.”
“It’s okay, Lee. It hurt me a lot, not gonna lie, but I understand where you were coming from.”
Leah couldn’t hold it in anymore, and squeezed her eyes shut, her tears wetting the pillow she lay on. “I can’t be your friend, Y/N. I can’t just pretend like the last five years didn’t happen.”
There was a brief silence once more before you spoke. “I know. Might be selfish of me to wish things were different.”
“Then I’m selfish too,” she said, almost a whisper.
There was a pause, in which Leah bit the inside of her cheeks so hard they might start bleeding.
“Are you coming to Beth’s thing on Friday?” You asked.
“I think I’m expected to be there. Why?”
“Good, I’ll be there too. We’ll talk then.”
“Okay,” Leah said dumbly.
“Now, go to sleep.”
She giggled. “You first.”
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TWELVE. Sincerity Is Scary.
Leah’s teammates have teased her many times throughout the evening, stating her unnecessary brooding was actually unnecessary this time and that she should liven up. She really couldn’t. Just thinking about seeing you again tonight made her want to have a heart attack and end her misery right there.
But the moment she heard your voice as you stepped into Beth and Viv’s house, a bottle of wine in hand and a bright smile on your lips, Leah felt her anxiety dissipate into oblivion, scolding herself for ever feeling nervous.
After all, it was you.
She waited patiently with a soft smile, her arms folded behind her back as she waited for all the girls to swoon over you. She had all night to keep you company, she was in no rush.
“Hey,” you found her after all the canoodling. Extending an arm, you awaited a hug which she gladly accepted.
“Hi,” she offered to take your jacket and hung it on the rack by the door. “You got here alright?”
“Man, the traffic at rush hour,” you sighed exasperatedly. “That’s the one thing I’ll never get used to. Almost makes me miss you being my personal chauffeur.”
She laughed. “That’s the only thing I was good for, was it?”
You narrowed your eyes at her teasingly. “Not just that.”
Leah wasn’t sure what you meant entirely with We’ll talk then, but seeing as she was the one who stupidly broke up with you, the balls were entirely in your court. She was just happy you were still willing to talk to her after she called you at 2am to blabber her insomniac nonsense.
She wasn’t courageous enough to sit directly next to you at the dinner table, but rather took the seat next to Katie who sat in front of you. Courage wasn’t something Leah felt much lately, and it took seeing you again for her to admit that. Perhaps she was never brave, but you always made her feel like it anyway.
Everyone loved you, the movie star that graced her team’s humble dinner. She couldn’t help but watch in awe as you managed to charm the pants off of everyone at the table with your witty remarks and crazy anecdotes. You had a presence that made everyone want to be your friend; it made her uncharacteristically shy at trying to get you to notice her, that she resorted to watching you from afar. And the few times you would make eye-contact with her, she could only look away, bashful that she had been caught staring, as her courage dwindling with each gaze.
Later in the night, when everyone was scattered around the house chatting, she found you sitting alone on the patio. Upon closer look, she could make out a smaller, fluffy unit in the form of Myle, Beth and Viv’s little pup, prancing around in front of you, waiting for you to throw the tennis ball in your hand.
The constant sound of the girls’ conversations died down the moment she stepped out in the backyard, now lit with rows of incandescent lights overhead. Myle barked once with excitement as she spotted Leah approaching.
“I think she wants you to throw it,” you handed her the ball.
She grinned and took it. “No one beats Auntie Leah.”
Little Myle was quick to launch herself across the yard on a mission to retrieve her precious artifact.
“I wanted a dog really bad, the first year we started dating.” You said, pulling your knees to your chest as a gust of wind pulled at your hair. “I wanted a little corgi or an Italian greyhound. I spent hours looking for one to adopt and researched food, bills, insurance and stuff.”
“Why didn’t you get one?” Leah asked.
“We haven’t even moved in together at that point. Plus, I was still bouncing around, you knew that.”
She did. You were shooting a movie in Canada the few first months you and her started talking. Then, you were hopping around Spain, Portugal and various parts of the UK for another project. It wasn’t ideal, but still much closer than Canada. You would fly out every other weekend to watch her play, and she would do the same and visit you on-set, moving most things aside for a couple days with you.
“I would have loved a dog, I don’t know about you.”
“I’m sure you would have. You’d probably love it more than me,” you laughed.
“No,” Leah shook her head softly. “Never.”
Summer was approaching. She could feel it in the mildness despite the breeze. For a while, the soft murmur of the wind caressing the trees was all she could hear, and Myle’s occasional huff as she impatiently waited for the ball to be tossed again.
You both sat there watching her, fantasizing of a different life, a dream that never materialized, another fragment of memories again tainted by what-ifs. Leah bit her lip, trying to calm her spiraling thoughts. She felt her courage slipping away again.
“I’m sorry I called you the other day,” she pursed her lips. “That wasn’t very appropriate. I should have asked to talk to you properly.”
“Don’t worry. Wasn’t the worst thing you could’ve done.” She heard you chuckle next to her. “I’ve had some time to think about us. Admittedly, I didn’t want to think about it at all the first few months, but my therapist told me I had to face it one way or another.”
Leah held her breath. This was the part where you tell her that you’d moved on and that she should stop pestering you. One of her knees started bouncing up and down as she waited for you to talk.
“I had to face the fact that you’re the love of my life, and that night I met you and we danced to Hozier together—on the first night we met no less—was the second best night of my life. The best was when you told me you loved me. And the worst night of my life was when you broke up with me.”
“I’m sorry,” Leah whispered, feeling her throat tighten at your confession.
“No,” you said, moving closer. “I don’t regret it. I wasn’t ready when you proposed, and that was my truth. But Leah, I’d be lying if I said that I’d be okay with letting you go again.”
“I should’ve talked to you about marriage before I asked you to marry me. It wasn’t fair on you.” Leah offered you a tearful smile.
“I want to try again. I would do it again for you.” You reached out and wiped away the tears that had silently rolled down her cheeks as she listened to you.
“I thought I’d lost my chance,” she said. “I thought you’d moved on.”
“Oh, baby,” your thumb brushed over her cheek softly. “How could you think I’d ever be able to forget about you?”
She let out a soft cry of relief. Her heart was pounding in her chest, and there was only one thing she thought of doing.
So she leaned in, never minding her wet cheeks. The last thing she saw was you closing your eyes too.
“Oh—sorry!”
The two of you jumped apart at the voice behind you. Leah turned around with a visible scowl on her face, seeing Beth grimace sheepishly as she called for Myle.
“It’s her dinner time. Come, little one, you hungry?” Beth attempted to explain herself, as Myle sprinted inside. “Alright then. As you were.”
The moment the door closed, you burst into laughter, making her break out of her frown and smile with you. “I can’t believe that just happened,” you said, laughing into her shoulder.
“I’m going to kill her,” she shook her head and placed a chaste kiss on your cheek.
She didn’t mind it too much, because she got to take you home later and make up for the last two years until the early hours of the morning. You and her would laugh about it years later.
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THIRTEEN. About You.
Your lover never backed down from a challenge.
That was her way, and that was what made her one of the best in her sport, her unrelenting spirit.
Yet, her legs felt like they would turn to jelly the moment she laid her eyes on you at the end of the aisle, umber dirt covered in white rose petals. She felt like drowning in her emotions which had all risen to the surface, and the waves would only plunge her further into itself until she was completely immobilized by it. But she knew once she was able to pull herself together and walk to you on the other end of that path, heaven would be waiting for her.
The officiate went on and on about love, life, and promises of forever, but she had made that promise to you long before this day. She kissed you fervently the moment she was able to.
It only seemed fitting that the first chapter of your story began with a dance, and the most important one to also end with a dance. She offered you a hand, and you gladly took it, a childish giggle bubbling in your throat. The song you danced to the first night you met rang out in the venue, a soft and folksy tune the backdrop of your falling in love.
“It’s not so bad, is it?” She said with a teasing grin.
You gazed into her eyes like they held the world. You had no idea that her heart beat for you, how her soul yearned for yours, how her life will not forever be intertwined with yours.
You closed your eyes and hummed, swaying with her slowly, just like you’d practiced at home a couple of weeks ago, only that instead of the four walls of your shared home baring witness to this dance, it was all your friends and families.
Memories of the first night you met, and the one in which she promised you her heart bubbled as she saw the serene look in your face. You both have come so far.
You placed your head on her chest for all to see, the way you do when you are tired after long hours of work in front of the camera, when all you wanted was the magic and warmth of her company.
Leah smiled; she couldn’t stop smiling. She smiled and smiled until her cheeks ached, even beyond then, until forever.
“No,” you mumbled. “Not bad at all.”
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a/n: happy holidays to everyone :)
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Text
ill call your mom
trigger warnings - lots of mentions of suicide and the thoughts od doing, bad mental health. please dont read if you feel you cant handle this.
AN: this was written in one siting, not the best just me getting my own feelings out in a fic of some sort
Happiness.  
You're not sure the last time you felt true happiness, maybe when you signed for arsenal when you were 10, maybe when you made your senior debut 7 years later or maybe when you were first called up to England, but you weren't happy now, you hadn't felt true happiness in such a long time that you're not sure what it feels like. You weren't sad either though, you were just empty, disconnected from the world, your family, your teammates.  
You think it's how you've ended up here, curled up in your wardrobe, pills in front of you, you're not entirely sure what pills you've even picked up, you just grabbed every single one in the medicine cupboard that Beth and Viv had been stocking up for you since your injury.  
Your injury.  
It had come at the worst possible time, you were on your way to winning the wsl with Arsenal, on the form of your life, the world cup was just round the corner and everything you'd worked so tirelessly for had come crushing down from a movement you'd done thousands of times in your career.  
You think of that day now as you swallow the pills, you think of the days leading up to it, how you hadn't been feeling quite right, Jonas wanted you to come off minutes before the injury you'd refused and then there was the pop followed by an indescribable pain, pain you'd never felt before and then nothing. You knew as it happened that your world Cup dreams were over, your season was over, everything was over.  
You think of the days after, when you couldn't get out of bed, you couldn't cry, you couldn't feel anything, you haven't felt anything since your mind constantly frozen on that night, on the movement of your knee, one movement that had ruined everything.  
Football was your lifeline, it was all you had ever known, growing up in sporty family you'd been kicking a ball since you could stand, joining a team when you were just 5 year, up until that night there hadn't been a day go past when you hadn't kicked a ball or been out on the grass doing some kind of training drill. When you were being bullied as kid, football was how you coped with it all, when the shouting and slamming doors got too much you had football and when you needed football the most you didn't have it, you didn't have an escape.  
You were struggling to breathe now, gasping for air you couldn't breathe, and you didn't care, you were content with dying, leaving everything behind, your teammates, football that was really all you had, you wondered if anyone would truly care, if your death would leave them unsettled you think your teammates would be upset but you didn't think your death would life altering for them, they only care because they have to, because your their teammate and they have to care to some extent.  
You were losing consciousness now, you hadn't expected for it to happen this quickly for the side effects of the pills you'd taken to work this fast, as you faded in and out of consciousness you felt nothing but relief, it was a feeling you'd been craving for since your injury, previously you thought youd feel relief when you stepped on the pitch for the first time since the injury, except you hadn't felt anything, not relief or joy instead it was almost like a chore being subbed on, two years after you'd first tore your acl, two years of hell, two years begging to run again, two years of wanting nothing more than to be on a pitch again, yet you felt nothing as you high fived Leah letting you onto the field again, both sets of fans applauding your return back. it was like your injury had stripped everything good about you away from you, turning you into the silhouette of the girl you used to be.  
in hindsight you should've known that Viv would come knocking when you didn't show up for dinner forgetting she owned a key to your apartment, you should've realised that when you ignored your teammates numerous calls and texts that they would come running, always wanting to help the people they loved most.  
You could hear distant banging, desperate pounding at your door, then the click of a lock, your lock, then the shouts of your teammates screaming your name, the urgency in their voices becoming clearer. 
You're not sure how they knew that something was seriously wrong, maybe it was instinct or the way your bathroom had been torn apart, the beer bottles that were scattered around your living room or maybe it was your silence.  
You should feel someone shaking you, this wasn't death, you could feel the floor of your wardrobe, the clothes hanging up above you, you weren't meant to be back here.  
You were supposed to be dead.  
You could hear someone screaming at you begging you to open your eyes. 
“Oh god y/n wake up for me” 
They were crying and shouting for help, shaking your fragile body, you wish that they would stop and shut up for one second, but you couldn't speak, you couldn't move, you were just led there, listening to their desperate cries for help.  
You wish you had taken more at that second; you didn't want to have to deal with your teammates finding out, talking about your feelings, you didn't want that, you wanted to be dead there was nothing more you wanted at that moment.  
.........................................................................................................................
You woke up to beeping, loud harsh beeps, wires wrapped around your body, you wished you were mistaken, you wished so desperately that this was some kind of afterlife and not a hospital.  
A hospital meant you were still alive and still breathing.  
It meant it hadn't worked.  
Youd failed. Failed at something else again.  
You couldn't even kill yourself right.   
“Hiya y/n” You heard Viv whisper out.  
Slowly you opened your eyes, you noticed the bodies of your teammates laid out on chairs, each with the same concerned facial expressions, they smiled up at you. You turned your focus to Viv, she was sitting next to you holding your hand, you realised, she gave you a sympathetic look, you could see the worry in her eyes, she'd always been a worrier, always wanting to make sure the people she loved most were okay.  
“Why am I not dead.” 
You croak out, wincing as you do so your throat hurting. 
your words hung in the air for a few minutes, none of your teammates quite sure how to respond to such a question. In their minds the answer was easy, you weren't ready to die, you had a life worth living for, you were the most loving, thoughtful person, they knew how could someone so young and ‘innocent’ want to not be here anymore, not want to do life anymore.  
It was Katie who spoke first, her accent thicker than normal, her face full of worry.  
“Because you have a life here with us kiddo, life is so much more than what you may think it is, you still have so much left to do before you leave y/n.” 
You're not sure why or how but her words bring you to tears, she hadn't said anything groundbreaking, yet here you were moved to tears for the first time in two years, you hadn't cried since the night of your injury.  
You can feel Viv rubbing your back as you continue to let out tears, you're sobbing now, everything that had happened to you in the past two years coming out, everything the club psychologist had tried to get you out was spilling out of you, the thoughts of your teammates witnessing this sent you into another set of tears, you didn't want them to see you like this, you were a mess, you didn't want them knowing just how much you were struggling.  
Viv seemed to have sensed this as she forced everyone out of your hospital room leaving just you and her.  
She didn't say anything at first, she just continued rubbing your back, whispering soft Dutch words to you in hopes to calm you down slightly, remembering when you had a Panick attack before you made your debut that speaking in her native language had help you to calm down.  
Eventually your sobbing eased off and all that could be heard was your heavy breathing.  
“What happened y/n?”  
You're not sure how to answer that question truth to be told you didn't know, you remember grabbing the pills and swallowing them, but you don't remember what had switched that evening why you'd decided to go through with it.  
You had thought of doing it before, but you were always too scared to actually follow through, you'd written notes, gathered the supplies but you'd never put the plan into place before and you're not sure why you decided that today you would actually follow through.  
“I don't know” 
She just shakes her head in response.  
“You do sweetheart, you don't just try to kill yourself” 
You nod in agreement, she's right someone doesn't just do it, there has to be things leading up to it, you're just not sure why tonight, what had happened today that left you so ready to leave  
“I've been thinking about it for a while Vivi just today I actually tried I don't know I'm sorry.” 
“You don't have to say sorry kiddo, your still here and that's what matters the most to me, to us, were going to help you through this alright darling, I love you so much.” 
She says removing her hands of your back and going in for a hug, kissing your head as she does so.  
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vivstenius · 27 days
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mighty north london
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hi18364 · 2 months
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midfielders room
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“Jill, I really have to go or we will be found out.” “10 more minutes, then I'll let you go." I look at her eyes I say, "Okay." 
 
10 minutes later 
 
"Jill, I'm serious. I have to go." hugging her one last time then I open the door and step out I hear another door open up looking over and I look the person in the eye we both look shocked then the door down the hall open and out walks Beth mead 
 
She is coming out of Viv's room. I’m now standing in the hall with Beth Mead, my England teammate, and Ellie Carpenter. Beth goes to the elevator with her head down, and so does Ellie. I walk to the stairs and quickly go back to my room. getting in bed and go to sleep. 
 
Next day 
 
I'm sitting in the hall eating when Beth sits next to me "So tell me, y/n, why were you in a certain Dutch midfielder's room last night?" 
 
I looked around us, and the hole table was looking at us. "Ok, I'll tell you if you tell me why you came out of Viv's room." 
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woso-fan13 · 7 months
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Whumptober 2023: 1 (Arsenal)
No. 1: “But now this room is spinning while I’m trying just to fill in all the gaps.”
Safety Net | Swooning | “How many fingers am I holding up?”
You had laughed at the viral video of Sam hip checking a pitch invader, the move being such a classic Sam move that you didn’t even think about the possibility that something bad could have happened. It seemed so unlikely that someone would manage to make it past security, onto the pitch, and then over to the players just to harm one of them. 
But it happened. It was the 86th minute and you had just assisted Beth with an absolute banger. You were resting your hands on your head, not paying attention as you tried to force air back into your lungs before the game restarted. 
You weren’t paying attention to much of what was happening, only noticing when you heard multiple players- teammates and opponents alike- shouting your name in a panic. You looked up to see a very large- very scary- man charging towards you. You did what most teenage girls would do in your position and froze. 
He rams into you, knocking the two of you to the ground forcefully. His tackle was definitely more American football style than the type of football you usually played. 
You lay on the ground, this man who is easily a foot taller than you and double your weight crushing you. You can’t scream, can’t move, you’re just paralyzed with fear. 
In a recurring theme, Sam Kerr decides to handle the situation herself. You can finally take a breath- shallow and shuddering- as you watch your opponent pull this beast of a man off of you and stand over him. Your panicked eyes manage to find security, making their way over, but that’s the last thing you see before you’re enveloped into a hug and your vision is obscured by someone’s body. 
Viv. Viv was safe. So you latched on to Viv, your fingers gripping into her jersey as you shoved your face into her neck. You were spiraling and Viv was your safety net. 
The next little while is a blur, but you remember getting taken to the side of the pitch. When Viv tried to push you into someone else’s hold, you freaked out. Sobbing, you clung tighter to her, begging her not to leave. Leah was shocked that you wouldn’t move into her embrace, she knew that you trusted her. Trying to help you out, she unlatches your hands and tries to pull you into her arms. 
You become dead weight, sobs breaking through your hyperventilation. Jonas took pity on you, telling Viv she could be subbed out to stay with you. The woman quickly picked you up off the ground, carrying you back through the tunnel and into the locker room. 
She sat on the bench in front of your locker, cradling you in her lap. She rocked gently, speaking quietly to you in Dutch. You couldn’t understand her, but the process and the soothing tone calmed you and you were able to regain control of your breathing. Even as your sobs slowed and eventually stopped, Viv kept up the calming repetition. By the time you had finally calmed down enough that Viv was no longer afraid that you were going to make yourself sick, you were slumped into her, your exhaustion clear. 
Explaining everything to you before she makes any move, Viv manages to rinse you off in a shower and get you dressed in a sweatsuit. She has you sitting in between her legs as she brushes your hair out when the locker room door opens. 
It was quiet, something that was a rarity for the team. Everyone was in shock still, the previous events having shaken everyone up. You huddled closer to Viv as everyone entered. Realistically, you knew that they would never hurt you- the whole team had become older sisters to you. But still, the nagging thought in the back of your mind was that he might be there, coming for you. 
Everyone’s gaze was sympathetic as they looked at you, giving you a wide berth. You sat still for the next while, watching as everyone went to shower and put on clean clothes. No one approached you until Viv gestured to Leah and Beth to come over. The two women walked slowly, not wanting to spook you. Beth moves to sit next to Viv and Leah crouches in front of you. You can hear Viv whispering something to Beth, but you can’t make out what she’s saying. 
“Schatje,” Viv says, getting your attention, “I need to go shower. You’re going to stay right here with Beth and Leah, and I will be back as soon as I can.”
Partway through her sentence- when you realized that she would be leaving- you turned your body enough to cling to her again. You wiggle as close as you can to her, tears beginning to flow again. 
“I know it’s going to be hard, but you’re going to be okay. I just need 10 minutes, I can leave a timer on my phone. After that, you’re coming home with Beth and I and we can cuddle for the rest of the night,” Viv had hoped that the promise of a quick reunification and snuggles would be enough to convince you to let go. 
It wasn’t. You began sobbing harder, your cries becoming more frantic as you felt someone else rest a hand on your back. You squirmed, trying to get away from the other person while staying as close to Viv as you possibly could. Your panic only heightened when you heard Beth whisper, “just go,” to Viv. 
You began hyperventilating, pleading with Viv to stay between breaths. She couldn’t leave, you needed her. 
You felt her shift under you, and you felt another pair of arms wrap around you from the back. It was awkward, but you were transferred into Beth’s arms, your back to her chest. Her grip around you was tight, her hug keeping your arms down at your side. 
You’re fully panicking at this point, and it only increases when you see Viv stand up and walk away. As soon as the door shuts behind her, you become inconsolable. 
Leah resumes her position in front of you, very carefully moving her hands towards you. She makes sure that you see her, that you’re aware of her presence, before she puts her hands on either side of your face. Still, you flinch. 
She angles your head so that you’re looking directly at her, panic also evident in her eyes. This was a situation that no one had seen before, the team’s happy-go-lucky little sister was broken. 
“You’re alright, Love, you’re going to be okay. Viv’ll be back as soon as she can, and then we’ll get you home. No one in this room is going to let anything else happen to you, you’re safe,” Leah continues to speak calmly and reassuringly to you, still holding your head so you’re forced to look at her. 
Your eyes are wide, frantically searching the room for any possible threats. After about five minutes of Leah reassuring you and Beth holding you tightly, you finally make eye contact with Leah. Both women breathe a sigh of relief. It might be small, but it’s an improvement. 
A few minutes after that, your breathing becomes somewhat more controlled. You’re sobbing and your breath is hitching as you choke and cough around your sobs, trying to catch your breath. But you weren’t actively having a panic attack, which, again, is an improvement. 
Leah, feeling bold, moves one hand to smooth back your hair. When she feels you lean every so slightly into the touch, she continues stroking your hair. You were coming back to them, albeit slowly. 
You’re so distracted by looking at Leah as she guides you through your breathing that you don’t notice the door open. You’re not even aware as a figure approaches, fully trusting Leah and Beth to keep you safe. You only notice as this person sits beside you and rests a hand on your leg. 
Viv. Viv is safe. Again, you throw yourself at her, almost knocking her off the bench. The only difference this time is that your legs are still in Beth’s lap, and Leah still had a hand resting on the back of your head. 
Viv hugs you tightly. She would never admit it, but she hadn’t wanted to separate from you either. Realistically, she knew you were safe and that you would be okay with your teammates. But, still, a little part of her didn’t want to let go and give anything else the chance to hurt you. She could feel your hands gripping into her shirt, clutching like you were afraid she would disappear. She held you just as tightly. 
After you have calmed down from your reunification, Beth and Leah slowly remove themselves. The three women hear as you whimper slightly at the loss, Beth and Leah having to hold back smiles. Instead, they gather all of their belongings, shoving them into bags as quickly as they can. Beth grabs Viv’s bag and Leah grabs yours, and the two return to you in about a minute. 
It would take some time, but the three women would eventually coax you out to the car, Viv settling in the back seat with you. The other two sat in the front, almost constantly staring back at you in the mirror. 
The drive was short, and you pulled up to a familiar house. Viv steps out of the car, pulling you into her arms. The simple act of getting you away from the stadium had allowed you to calm considerably, and you were no longer crying. Your breathing was steady and slow, your eyes blinking heavily as both physical and emotional exhaustion consumed you. But you knew you were going to be taken inside and snuggled between all of the women. Everyone already knew that Leah would be staying, the woman already having invited herself over. And tomorrow, though you didn’t know it, the rest of the team would be showing up with breakfast. With your support system, you would be okay. 
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dutchmeadema95 · 10 days
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Repost because TikTok deleted the original sound on Jen's TikTok
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stargirlsfc · 2 months
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viv trying to close beth's jacket lol
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meademalove · 1 day
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No one has ever gayed like they gay 👀😅❤️
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onna0 · 6 months
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why am i crying 😭
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katiemcabeswife · 5 months
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'Transferring to Lesbianism'
Biv Meadema x Platonic Fem!Reader
Guys are cunts so you're 'transferring to lesbianism'.
Warnings: Guys are cunts, drinking, crying, swearing
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You were upset, angry and scared. You’d been on a date with Nate, a guy who you’d met at a party and hung out with multiple times before, when he started making sexist ‘jokes’ and exclaiming his bewilderment on how popular women’s sport has become, claiming that ‘the game is a joke’ now that women were getting popular.
So you left.
You had talked about him to your friends, you had talked to him about your friends and about your passion for football and at the time he sounded genuinely interested. He was even supposed to come to your next game and to hear him pull a complete 360 made you question whether he had been faking it the whole time you had spent together.
It was well into the night and you didn't feel comfortable getting the bus, you'd had a few drinks so you couldn't drive and you didn't trust getting an Uber alone. While there were definitely other (better) options, you started walking home.
You lived in a good neighbourhood but you did have to go through some sketchy ones to get to your house so you kept your keys tight between your fingers. You could see a figure ahead of you but you tried to be optimistic and hoped they would leave you alone and let you walk right past them
Optimism is stupid.
"Hello there," A male voice called out before you could fully pass it. You ignored the man and gripped your keys tighter.
"I'm talking to you, pretty," Your brain melted when you remembered you were wearing a shirt that accentuated your boobs.
"Sorry, my dad's waiting on me, gotta hurry," You replied shakily and picked up your pace.
But of course, boys just don't know when to give up.
"I'm sure he won't mind you being a few minutes late." He was now walking backward in front of you.
"He has a temper." You stopped once you noticed his feet weren't moving as you hadn't dared to look him in the eyes.
"Well I could deal with-"
"Listen could you kindly fuck off?" You cut him off before trying to storm past him. He grabbed your arm. You were already angry and you just wanted to get home and cry.
He pivoted you towards himself, still gripping your arm and you took the opportunity to kick him in the dick. While he fell to the floor like a pussy and called you a bitch, you ran off.
You were well away from the guy and gave up on saving your tears until you got home. Your eyes were drawn to an orange light illuminating the puddles on the floor. A bottle of something couldn't hurt.
You were now sitting in a well-lit park and sipping on your bottle of something, crying. You looked around for a second before realising you were familiar with the park. Your drunken mind loved chatting, everyone knew it, especially your teammates.
"VIV!" You screamed when she picked up your call.
"Y/N, why are you yelling when it's so late?" Viv spoke quietly and you could hear the muffled sound of some movie playing in the background.
"I'M LITERALLY IN THE PARK RIGHT NOW!" You were so excited and you had to chat to someone about it.
"Are you alone?" Viv asked before you could hear keys rattling and her saying something to someone.
"Yes, but it's so nice. Boys aren't nice. Boys are-are cunts. I'm going to transfer to lesbianism." You gruffled and Viv had to try hard to not laugh.
"Where are you?"
"I'M IN THE PARK!" You exclaimed excitedly.
"Which one, hun," Viv desperately sighed.
"The one that's right 'round the corner of your house! That's why I called you silly!" You laughed before crying out when you spilled your bottle of something.
"Can you wait there for me? Go stand near the street, near the bus stop and I'll be there in 2 minutes. Ok?" She was definitely in the car.
"Are you coming to hang out with me!"
"Yeah! So you gotta go to the bus stop so I can find you quick," She was right around the corner now and she had her thumb in between her teeth, scared about the state she was about to find you in.
"OMG! I literally see you!" Viv pulled over and hopped out of the car.
"Hey, what are you doing here, Y/N?" She pulled the bottle out of your hands and put it in the bin before taking your shoulders between her hands.
"Well I was on a date with Nate and then he started being all sexist and cocky and cunty so I left but I had already had a few drinks and I didn't want to catch the bus or get an Uber because they scare me. So I started walking home but then this guy came up to me and started talking to me and wouldn't leave me alone and then he grabbed me and it really hurt! So I kicked him in the balls and ran off and I was just so sad! So I went and got myself a drink and then I saw the park, where we are literally standing right now, and I was like OMG! Viv and Beth live around here, maybe if I wait I might get to see them and then I got impatient so I called you and now here we are!" You were huffing and puffing at this point before you started crying again.
Viv was quick to pull you into a hug, "Hey, it's alright. Maybe you should come with me and you can stay with me and Beth? Yeah?"
"Oh, I would really like that," You muffled into her shoulder. Viv helped you into the car before taking off. The drive was only 2 minutes but you had a lot to say. Especially about 'transferring to lesbianism'.
"OK, let's get you inside and to bed shall we?" Viv asked as you were walking up the front steps.
"But I want to hang out," You whined.
"What if we go and get brunch tomorrow?"
"Oh, I would really like that," You were in the door now and Beth was waiting for you in the kitchen. You broke out from Viv's hold and pounced on Beth, "Beffy! Guess what!"
"What?" She spoke gently and stroked your head that was resting on her chest, sharing a worried glance with Viv who looked deeply concerned.
"Guys are cunts so I'm transferring to lesbianism to be with you guys and like the rest of the team!" You were so sleepy and so sad, Beth lightly rocking you and petting your hair was helping you calm down.
"That's great?" She shook her head confusingly towards Viv, "Let's get you to bed now though,"
"Oh, I would really like that," The girls had you drink a glass of water and got you changed into some of their clothes before tucking you in for the night.
“Can we go to the park tomorrow?” You asked Beth who was sitting next to you on the guest bed, Viv watching with a small smile from the door.
“Of course, now off to sleep, you,” She kissed your forehead and you giggled.
The girls left the room and walked to the kitchen, “What on earth happened?” Beth whisper- yelled.
“Something about Nate being sexist and then a random guy wouldn’t leave her alone and grabbed her arm, she kicked him the balls and then she went and got a bottle of rum before drinking it in the park around the corner,” Viv nodded lightly at Beth who looked like she was about to cry.
“Poor baby,” Beth sympathised.
Viv laughed a little, “And then she was going on about ‘transferring to lesbianism’.”
Beth joined in, “I think she told me that?” The pair laughed before Viv took Beth into her arms.
“Let’s get to bed?” She questioned and Beth agreed.
~
When you woke up, it took a while for your eyes to adjust to the light and for the memories from last night to flood your brain. You let out a whimper due to the pain behind your eyes and the awful night you had.
When your eyes adjusted as much as possible you lifted your head from the pillow and realised that you were at Beth and Viv's house. You sighed and pulled yourself from the comfort of the bed toward the kitchen where you could hear the girls chatting.
"Hey, Y/N/N, how're you feeling?" Beth asked pushing over a coffee and bottle of Advil.
"I'm sad and my head hurts." You pouted slightly before downing a couple of the pills.
Viv pulled you into a side hug, "Well, why don't we go to brunch?"
You rubbed your hands over your face and nodded, "Yeah, that would be nice,".
The girls gave you some clothes so you could properly wash off last night in the shower and get back into some clean clothes. The drive was silent bar the low volume of the radio and you all silently exited the car before entering the cafe.
It was only after discussing what everyone was going to get and then ordering that someone brought up last night, "Y/N, do you wanna talk about last night?" Beth asked shyly.
You down from the two girls sitting across from you and fiddled with your fingers, "I'm just sick of men and how they're still stuck in the 60s. I hate how people view women and how they treat them and I'm sick of people treating women's sport as inferior to men's. I don't even know why! Why are women subservient to men? I don't get it and I'm sick of it! Men genuinely believe that their greatest achievement is to be born men and then believe all the toxic ideas about what men are. Because they are utter losers, any time a woman does something considered masculine, they feel threatened and they believe genuinely that by being verbally abusive they are 'just being men'." You were deeply disturbed by the matter, so much so that you were crying in public. You rarely cry period, so crying in public shocked the couple.
Viv moved to sit next to you and hugged you, you burying your head into her neck, "Men are just insecure that women are doing better than them, they don't know how to act so they lash out. You're right, it's not good enough but you can't force people to change their views," She started before Beth took off where Viv left off.
"But you are changing people's perspectives! With your YouTube and the interviews you do, I've read the comments. Hundreds of girls are saying how you changed their brother's and dads' views on women's sports. I've even gotten some DM's asking me to thank you for it. You are doing everything you can and you are doing wonderfully, Y/N." She was holding your hand and now you were properly sobbing, gaining a few stares from other customers.
"You are doing great, Y/N and I know that I and all of the other girls on the team are so proud of you and you inspire us to do better and to advocate even harder. You should be so, genuinely proud of how well you are doing. You should also ever let anyone, especially a man tear you down." Viv was lightly patting your head.
You lifted your head from the crook of Viv's neck and took a deep breath. You had a drink of water and wiped your eyes, "Thank you guys," Your voice was quiet and still had a deep sadness to it.
"Anytime, Schatje," Viv comforted.
"Um, I have two breakfast sandwiches and one avocado sourbread?" A waitress approached your table, breaking the sadness/tension bubble that surrounded it.
"Yeah, that's us. Thank you." Beth took the plates and gave them to their respectful owners. Once the waitress had walked away Beth swallowed and turned to you with a smirk on her face, "So, Y/N, how's 'transferring to lesbianism' going?" Viv joined Beth in laughing and you looked at the two in utter confusion.
"Excuse me?"
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sleepdepriveddee · 6 months
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Anna Margaretha Marina Astrid 'Vivianne' Miedema is back! She's back! And she can smile!
🥹❤️‍🩹🐐
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katelynnwrites · 8 months
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not viv demanding a mic and following it up with a very extended answer 🤣
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chrlvctius · 7 months
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want what they have ☹️💗
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