#being told whether we the player are in on it or regardless of if we ever even know (or if we care to pay attention)
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On the fourth day of Rust kingdoms I tuned into hJune's stream for the last hour or so and as he was ending he climbed up to the highest point in Rusty Bones and simply sat, looking over the kingdom listening to music. And whilst there's something to be said about it being the perfect representation of his character with r!june almost being some kind of guardian angel for Rusty Bones watching over and guiding them, in that moment I was hit with the strongest sense of nostalgia. Which is crazy considering at that point the server wasn't even ending, still had multiple days left and the server had only existed for a few days prior and yet I found myself moved.
Maybe it was a shared understanding with june, he wasn't saying much but I got the sense he might've been feeling something similar. Just sitting back and appreciating the moment, reflecting on the days past, and this special little server. I think there's something beautiful to the love we hold for media, or more precisely the stories told within it and the feeling of experiencing and loving something. Following a narrative with all of its twists and turns finding yourself wholly invested and endeared by its world and characters, to me this is made especially potent in real time improvised RP as you watch this whole world develop one step at a time before your very eyes. Getting to know characters as they get to know themselves, going on their journey right beside them. Following along within community, on twitter, in chats, just listening to the players discuss how much of a good time they're having, shared love and passion for something. It might just be me but that kinda thing always makes me emotional.
The medium of improvised live RP really is unique in this sense, it's hardly been a week but my heart has been stolen by the Rusty Bones cast regardless. Becoming so invested so quickly. Every character interaction building upon the last, every random throwaway line of backstory and lore slowly painting a clearer and clearer picture. Theorising and chatting with peers online and hopping between streams to see every pov. It's been beyond fun and I have to give my thanks to every single Rusty bones player for the atmosphere and community they created, they're the heart of these streams and each one played their part to perfection whether that be through in character roleplay, putting hours of time and care into contributing to the kingdom allowing everyone to play the game and enjoy it as they have or just being a good sport and bringing good vibes for a good time! Extra special thanks to Tina, Foolish, Trausi, hJune, Enevun and Dakkin who really made my pov of this event what it was.
June looking over the castle i've come to be so familiar with and hold so dear in such a short period of time it almost feels like home, for this week Rusty Bones has been my home. Somewhere comforting I could come back to reliably at the end of every day and be greeted by the kingdoms familiar faces. And though we're saying goodbye soon, even if it's a little silly I can't help but feel thankful this little week was part of my life and the joy it brought whilst it lasted.
The song June was listening to:
youtube
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Another mainstream Fallout game without mulchable human enemies. Instead, there is a tight intercommunity on a much smaller map, where the player begins in long stretches of isolation. The first NPCs the player see is through the scope of their trusty rifle, with names like Bandit and Raider. It's a Fallout game.
Do you take the shot?
#it's just that like on a meta level the newer games kind of condition you to kill whatever you come across#with no special emphasis on any kind of life. and it definitely rewards you for doing this#raiders without names. it's become mindless fodder for the player#and that's all good and well. it's a video game and the player isn't mindless at all and neither is the combat#personally i don't want to kill people and see them explode. but i understand this is part of some huge appeal#what i want is just like. a little nuance to these things. named enemies and less radiant quests and fewer things to do with more impact#it's just interesting because by the game's own rules these NPCs above should be shot on sight (this is mostly about Fallout 4)#and I'd like a game where no life should be taken automatically. where everyone has something to say or something to lose. a story that is-#being told whether we the player are in on it or regardless of if we ever even know (or if we care to pay attention)#the distinct horror where you've killed someone without considering their life. i don't want to trick the player. these NPCs won't be-#dressed in raider gear. it's just an interesting option that comes up. it's been 20 minutes. these are the first people you see.#what do you do?#and now using mutants or ghouls as a backup enemy option is just for fools. they should be treated with the same respect. you know?#it's just that this is a game about post apocalyptica. haven't we lost enough?#when do we stop burning down our world and start fixing it?#maybe it doesn't have to be mainstream. maybe it's the equivalent of a Working f4 settlement builder and we can romp around saving people.#hunting things.#the franchise business#fallout
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drug dealer!mikasa and her hood princess gf headcanons
📝: don’t y’all judge me but this been in my head all day and it’s not going nowhere so I’m sharing the delusion.
mentions of heavy drugs, violence and weapons, robbery and setups, smut warning, tribbing, gunplay, fingering, car sex, Mika being a freak
drug dealer!mikasa, who you first met while working at a gas station was so infatuated the moment she laid eyes on you. Always frequenting on your scheduled days and making more visits than the average customer.
drug dealer!mikasa, who always looked fine as hell, regardless of how she was presenting that day. Whether she in a pair of baggy joggers, band t-shirt and a pair of Nikes or tight fitting two piece skirt and tube top that revealed all of the tattoos littering her toned body. Nothing but designer and expensive shit touched her skin.
drug dealer!mikasa appeared cool as a fan but every time she entered that store, she wondered how she was going to approach a bad bitch like you..loving your various hairstyles that you switched out weekly and duck bill nails. Not to mention the gold hoops dangling from your ears, clavicle piercings and tattoos.
“Who done your arm piece? It’s beautiful.” “From the shop on 104th. The tall dude with the long hair? Him.”
drug dealer!mikasa only smirked when you brought him up because she knew him very well. “That’s my boy Eren. We used to work together.” Failing to mention that said work involved a little something on the illegal side. Something she could never give up as easily.
drug dealer!mikasa, who drove a brand new matte black Audi R8 or Benz Truck when you saw her and wore jewelry that could pay your rent always gave a vague answer when you asked her what she done for a living.
“Shit, I’m tryna get like you, pookah. What you do for work?” “Family business. Nothing major.”
drug dealer!mikasa, who lived with her uncle, a well known club owner and kingpin attended the university as a business student, put her studies to good use selling all types of drugs to her peers; from the star football player to the stuck up sorority girls. It brought her joy to see those bitches tweaking on her supply.
drug dealer!mikasa, who mainly hung out on your side of town would offer to smoke you out after your shifts as you two sat in her car. Talking about random shit and having a good time. It was one night when the two of you were chilling when you decided to ask her once more what she done while she was high.
“I already told you, I’m in the family business.” uttering as you caught a glimpse of the baby Glock tucked between her console and a dime bag right beside it.
drug dealer!mikasa knew she couldn’t keep her secret any longer and seeing the excitement in your eyes at the prospect of her being a dealer, began to spend a lot more time with you and a whole lot more money! Buying you gifts, taking you out and spending racks at the strip club with you.
drug dealer!mikasa loved having you by her side when she made her drops. Knowing that you weren’t some boujie bitch who’d be scared. Sitting pretty in her passenger seat and holding her pistol. Not to mention that having a sidekick made it easier to hit a lick. Setting men up from her uncle’s club who had been harassing girls and robbing them blind.
“That dude again? Don’t worry, we’ll take care of him. Right, baby?” “Of course, this gon’ be fun.”
drug dealer!mikasa, who didn’t even need drugs after the high of watching you get these assholes down to their underwear and then coming in for the drop. Getting turned on by watching you count your money up while the guy cried in the corner. Just having to fuck you crazy afterwards.
“Yeah, suck on that gun like you did him, baby.” That mouth is so fucking pretty..” shoving her barrel between your lips as she fingered you in the front seat. Knowing how much wetter it got that little plump pussy.
drug dealer!mikasa loved when you fed each other percs because the sex was ten times more intense. From letting your tongue piercings clash in sloppy kisses as you scissored to riding a double sided dildo for almost an hour; going back and forth to see who could come the most. Leaving the bed drenched in your puddles of squirt and silky cream.
drug dealer!mikasa dicked you down better than any man with that thick eight inch strap on. Pounding you from behind and slapping your thick ass with each stroke.
“You fucking the shit out this pussy!…oooh..” “Then come for me, gorgeous. Give me that shit.”
drug dealer!mikasa ate you out and stimulated herself with a vibrator until the two of you finally tapped out and came down from that high.
drug dealer!mikasa had never met a girl like you, knew she’d never be able to fuck with anyone else after getting a taste of you.
#cherry’s drabbles 🍒#late post#aot x black reader#black fem reader#x black fem reader#mikasa x black reader#mikasa headcanons#mikasa smut#mikasa attack on titan#aot mikasa#mikasa aot#attack on titan mikasa#mikasa ackerman#mikasa ackerman x reader#shingeki no kyojin mikasa#wlw headcanons#wlw fiction#wlw ship#black reader insert#black reader smut#aot au#alternate universe#modern au#drugs cw#cw smut#cw violence#cw gun#cw gun violence#aot headcanons#I am so (not) sorry about this
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BOY NEXT DOOR 3 - ( c.s )
part two
summary- you and your roommates live beside a bunch of senior hockey players, one of them being the infamous team captain chris sturniolo. he’s effortlessly flirty and undeniably attractive, but he’s also a pain in your ass. you find that you have to fight between lust and hatred as you finally get to know the boy next door, whether you want to or not.
warnings- swearing, a bit of drinking
neighbor/hockey!chris x fem!reader
a/n: part three baby here we go! hope you guys enjoy!! if i forgot a tag it either wouldn’t let me or i missed it (if i missed u pls comment and i’ll fix it right up). anyways kisses for u all i hope ur having a good day, my inbox is open for anything as always MWAH
@cutenote @mattybsbitch @mattsmunch @breeloveschris @l9vesick @bb-1s-blog @sturnifyed @julessspoetry @annamcdonalds67 @beijhe @gnxosblog @braindead4l @hearts4matty @orangeypepsi @luckistar-posts @angelworldspost @ponyosturniolo @rainyenthusiastdaze @heartz4chris @sturnvvz @cupidsword @wurlibydominicfike @mattswrld @yoursopretty15 @poopydroopt @latinasforchrizz @bernardsleftbootycheek @trilliwarner
it’s been a day since the kiss, and you still haven’t told a single soul. for some reason, you’re way too scared to admit what happened to your roommates, even though you know they’d be the last to judge you for it.
and yet you just can’t, despite the fact that it’s been eating you alive for over twenty-four hours straight. saying it out loud makes it real, so you decided it was best to keep it inside.
however, you still need to give chris his jersey back, which you’ve been neglecting to do because you don’t want to see him.
or maybe because you’re scared.
it’s an involuntary thought, and it makes you angry. there’s nothing to be scared of, because he doesn’t have any power over you.
right?
you grab his jersey off the top of your dresser. it’s all clean, and it still smells like detergent from when you washed it yesterday. you’ve been putting it off all day, and it’s time for that to stop.
the sun is nearly gone, so you head down the stairs, silently thankful that ramona and cassidy are both are both runnings errands as you slip out the front door.
you’re in your comfy clothes, black sweats and baby blue hoodie that you stole from cass, and you’re immediately regretting the fact that you didn’t grab a jacket.
you hurry across the lawn, passing the cars parked in the driveway. there’s an unfamiliar red one at the end, and it almost makes you pause, but the possibility doesn’t fully connect in your mind yet.
so you head up the steps and knock on the door loudly, still very much so a woman on a mission.
it takes a moment, a long moment, before someone comes to open it for you. it’s connor, which is unfortunate, because you really weren’t prepared to speak with anyone besides the one boy you’re actually looking for.
he looks a little confused, but he smiles nonetheless. “what’s up?”
“i’m just, uh, trying to drop off chris’s jersey.” any bit of confidence you had is gone now as you choke on your words.
connor’s eyes widen a little as his grin fades, though you can tell he’s trying to play it off. “he’s a little busy right now, but i’ll get it to him.”
your eyebrows furrow as he reaches his arms out, like he’s trying to rush the process along without any more interrogation.
“busy with what?” you question, though you hand it over regardless.
he looks at you for just a half a second too long, like he’s waiting for you to piece it together, and then it clicks. chris is busy because he has a girl over, and that’s her car in the driveway.
you wish it didn’t phase you, but you can feel your face morphing into an emotion that borders disgust and anger.
“oh, i see.” is all you say, because you’re already fucking embarrassed beyond belief.
you turn and head back down the stairs, trying to ignore the way your stomach is flipping like you’re going to throw up.
connor doesn’t say anything. instead you hear the door close, and you feel completely numb as you walk back to your own porch. part of it is because of the cold, and part of it is because you feel so stupid.
you’re not sure what you were expecting, but that was exactly what you should’ve anticipated knowing chris.
you step back into the warmth of your own home, and even when you close and lock the door, a shiver chases you.
you head back up to your bedroom, kicking your shoes off by the door. you want further confirmation, so you peek through the curtains that hang over your window.
chris’s room, which is coincidentally directly across from yours, reveals nothing besides a dim light that peeks through the closed blinds.
you let the drapes fall back into place, still in shock. it was so ridiculous to believe for even a second that he was any different than he had been for the last six months.
you should’ve taken him at his word. he doesn’t date, and he’s not interested in you beyond teasing you or making you look like an idiot.
and you refuse to be taken for a fool.
you pace along the floor for a second until you decide you deserve some wine. you know there’s at least half a bottle in the fridge, and maybe it’ll help you calm the hell down.
a few minutes later you’re back upstairs, huddled up in your bed with a book you had started earlier in the day, sipping from your glass as you read.
it’s hard to fall into the fantasy world you picked out at first, but then you begin to feel your cheeks flush and your eyes are suddenly devouring the words.
you’re so enveloped in the plot, completely unaware that your roommates had gotten home until ramona walks in. it startles you, so much so that you lose your page.
she pauses to take in your state; the empty glass, the minimal leftovers in the bottle you brought with you, your droopy eyes.
“wine before 7 p.m. on the lord’s day? you’re crazy.” she jokes with a grin.
you shrug, also smiling a little bit. “felt like getting a little wild.”
mona puts a hand on her hip and nods toward the door she just entered through. “well, could i maybe convince you to take this crazy train downstairs so we can catch up on VPR? we’re like, three episodes behind now.”
you snap your book closed and roll out of bed, which you can tell by her snort looks far from graceful.
“all you had to say was VPR.”
you sit at your desk, gnawing on your bottom lip as you try to focus on the stupid online homework prompts that are due soon. the overcast afternoon light pours into your room, and you hear your phone buzz against the wood.
chris
still playing hard to get?
you roll your eyes before you can help it. the text doesn’t surprise you, because he’s been messaging you for the past few days, ever since he inevitably found out you stopped by from connor.
chris
that’s clearly a yes.
you wonder how many times he’s going to text you as you put your phone down to pull your hair out of your face, tying it up at the back of your head.
once again, you hear the device vibrate, and you flip it to glance at the screen.
chris
i can see you ignoring me you know
your eyes betray you as you glance out the window, just to find chris standing in front of his own. he’s pouting at you with his phone in his hand, hair all curly and damp like he just got out of the shower.
you stand up from your chair without a second thought and take a few steps so you can yank your curtains closed.
he might refuse to believe it, but you’re not playing hard to get. you just can’t fucking stand him.
chris
now that’s just cold
come onnnnnn princess
y/n
holy shit
do NOT call me princess
chris
you love it
y/n
i hate you
chris
if you don’t stop this i’m coming over there
y/n
i’d like to see you try asshole
chris
fine.
you pull back one curtain to call his bluff, and your heart actually drops when you see that he’s not standing there anymore. that just means he’s probably on his way over already.
you have no idea if cass or ramona are home or in their rooms or what. but you do know that you’re locking your door, and if he makes it through the house undetected he’s not getting into your room.
you sit on the edge of your bed for a moment, waiting because you don’t know what else to do with yourself. and then the knock comes, right before chris twists the handle and finds it locked.
“open up.” he demands, his gruff voice muffled through the door.
“no.”
“i’ll go downstairs and get cass if you don’t let me in.” he threatens, which doesn’t really scare you.
cassidy will kick his ass out if she realizes you don’t want him here. you’ll have to explain some things, but it’s probably time to do that anyways.
“you’re being a baby and you’re wasting your time. go home, chris.” you reiterate.
“come on, i just want to talk.” he wiggles the handle once again, like that will somehow open it.
“then call a sex addiction helpline.” you reply hotly, glaring at the slab of wood that separates you as if you can actually see him, though you’re glad you can’t.
“can you please open the door?”
“nope.”
“jesus, you’re so stubborn it’s ridiculous.” he groans, and you hear his forehead thump against the door.
he’s growing frustrated now, and even though you’re heated too, you kind of love it.
“so are you! how many times do i have to tell you to leave?” you shoot back.
it’s silent for a moment, which scares you. then you hear a small sigh.
“i didn’t think i would have to do this.”
the lock on the door begins to twist and turn rapidly, and you leap forward to grab it with your hand.
chris twists it hard and your fingers fumble to keep it jammed. your thumb is already in pain, and the harder he pushes the closer you are to failing. you’re finally forced to let go as chris comes shoving his way into your room a few seconds later.
even though he stumbles slightly, he looks so proud of himself, clutching the heavy duty paper clip he used to get inside.
“there, that’s better.” he says smugly.
you watch his eyes take in your room, covered in posters and full of random artifacts, and you hate it. for some reason, it feels deeply personal.
“holy shit, why don’t you just go home already?”
it’s impossible to keep your tone level anymore as you turn away from him.
“i’m here now, so you have to talk to me.”
“no, i really don’t.” you reply before plopping down onto your mattress, crossing your arms as you lean against the headboard.
“don’t be a brat.” chris follows your lead, even though you weren’t inviting him to join you.
he falls beside you, sprawling out on his back by your feet. his shirt raises over his sweats, exposing a bit of skin above the band of his boxers, and you have to tear your eyes away.
you can feel the warmth of his body, can smell his aftershave mixed with hints of some kind of fresh body wash, and all of it drives you crazy.
you curl your body into itself so there’s as much distance between the two of you as possible.
“why are you so mad?” chris turns his head slightly so he can look at you.
“i’m not mad, you just disgust me.”
this makes him smile. “i beg to differ, i think you like me.”
without hesitation, you extend one leg to kick him in his side. even though it’s not very forceful, he lets out a little groan of surprise, hand going to rub his hip as he frowns.
“you didn’t have to kick me, damn.”
“you deserved that.” you argue, tucking your knees back to your chest.
this time he stays silent and just looks at you. his eyes scan your face, darting down to your lips every other second, and you’re suddenly very aware of your surroundings.
“what the fuck are you staring at?” you ask in a brief moment of panic.
his eyes are so unnerving. it’s like he can see right through you.
“you’re pretty.” chris shrugs before averting his gaze back to the ceiling.
your face flushes, and you force yourself to remember the embarrassment from the other day, how stupid you felt after discovering that he’s still the same old player that sits beside you now.
“shouldn’t you be giving some other girl an STD or something?” you snap, and he huffs out a breathy laugh.
“first of all, i’m totally clean. and if you’d actually let me explain, you’d realize the girl that was over on sunday is just an ex fling who was picking up some old stuff.”
his clarification shocks you, though you still don’t necessarily believe it yet. he could be lying, even though it doesn’t seem like he is.
“you’re seriously telling me you weren’t hooking up with her?” you ask.
“it was strictly platonic. nothing happened.” he confirms, shifting to face you again.
chris lifts his hand to trace gentle patterns along your shins, and you don’t shy away this time. the feeling of his palms, even when separated by your leggings, is far nicer than you imagined.
“okay.” you mutter simply.
“you’ve been ignoring me the entire week and all i get is an ‘okay’?” he halts his movements so he can curl his fingers into air quotes.
“what would you like me to say?”
“an apology would be a nice start.”
you bark out a laugh. “an apology for what? for not talking to you? because i really didn’t take you for the sensitive type.”
he just shakes his head, nudging your legs with one of his knuckles lightly. “god, you and that headstrong attitude will be the death of me.”
“can’t wait.” you quip back, and now its his turn to chuckle.
silence settles over the two of you for a moment, and you’ve been far too close for too long, so you move to stand once again.
“alright, well, we talked. time for you to get lost.” you motion toward the door.
chris sits up, running a hand through his messy hair before he replies. “look, we don’t have another game until sunday, so we’re hosting at the house tomorrow. you should come.”
you raise an eyebrow and tap your chin, like you’re really contemplating. “i’ll have to think about it.”
“please? it’ll only be fun if you go.” he flashes you a charming smile, and you hate that it actually does kind of work.
“maybe i’ll make a special appearance. maybe.” you point a wary finger at him as he gets back on his feet.
“that’s what i like to hear.” chris says, making his way toward you.
you expect him to pass right by, but he lingers, like there’s something else on his mind. he stares down at you with those big blue eyes, and you can feel yourself slipping into dangerous territory.
“is there something else?” you ask softly, and the sound of your voice is maddening to him.
you don’t even try to tempt chris on purpose, he knows this, and yet everything about you is so enticing. not to mention he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about the kiss since it happened, or that pretty little mouth of yours.
but he shakes his head again, because the things he’s thinking about you so early on in this strange relationship frighten him.
“uh, no, sorry. i’ll see you tomorrow, hopefully.”
and then he blows right by you without waiting for a response, disappearing just as quickly as he arrived.
#chris sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#hockey!chris#chris sturniolo smut#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo smut#fanfic#new series#sturniolo fanfic
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𝐒𝐋𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐍 𝐁𝐎𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒.
These are just a ton of SFW/fluff head canons! More will be added when I think of them! Feel free to drop more in the comments! <3
THEO:
➸ Knows how you're feeling just by the look in your eyes.
➸ He loves cooking you authentic Italian food.
➸ Loves holding your hand and being clingy.
➸ One of his love languages is quality time.
➸ "Cara Mia"
➸ "mio Dio, sei perfetto"
➸ He is outrageously loyal to his close circle.
➸ This might be a beige flag, but it's just a thought I had. I can just imagine Theo being the type to jump scare you every chance he gets.
➸ He doesn't like to show it, but he actually really likes hanging out with the 1st and 2nd years. Especially the ones more on the mischievous side. Mainly because they remind him of him and the group when they were that age.
➸ This man would literally worship the ground you walk on if it made you happy.
=========
TOM:
➸ Loves to slow dance with you to the oldies playing on the record player.
➸ He's protective over you.
➸ His only goal with you is marriage.
➸ He loves to kiss your hands.
➸ Doesn't use social media.
➸ He definitely calls you Mrs. Riddle, and he definitely DOES NOT mean it as a joke.
➸ This man would 100% drop everything if you brought up hanging out with him. Study group with the boys? Count Tom out because Y/n wants to see him.
➸ He loves to spend time with you even if it's just sitting in the common room reading.
=========
DRACO:
➸ Loves to spoil you no matter what, one of his love languages is gift giving.
➸ When you show him what you're wearing for the day he loves to give you a twirl.
➸ He's constantly taking pictures of you and him.
➸ Bought you a promise ring made out of your birthstone.
➸ Loves sitting by the fireplace with you more than anything.
➸ Nobody else knows this, but he plays piano. Beautifully too, but he only plays for you.
➸ Even though you don't notice, he admires every little thing you do.
=========
LORENZO:
➸ Buys you flowers back to back. He keeps one for himself so he knows when yours die.
➸ Has written you countless love letters.
➸ Remembers all the little things that you told him, no matter how minor.
➸ Loves when you play with his hair.
➸ Made you take a painting class with him.
➸ This man loves every bit of you, and he just can't get enough. Even the things you don't like about yourself.
=========
BLAISE:
➸ He loves giving you the absolute princess treatment.
➸ Loves going on dates with you no matter the cost, and he plans them.
➸ After an argument he will own up to his mistakes and actually give you a genuine apology.
➸ Is always there to help you study.
➸ He lets everyone know that you're together, but keeps the relationship private.
➸ Even in a fight no matter how serious, he will never lose his cool with you. He has never once actually raised his voice at you.
=========
MATTHEO:
➸ Absolutely loves to show you off.
➸ You've heard from multiple people about how highly he talks about you when you're not around.
➸ "What are we doing this weekend?"
➸ "heyy beautiful"
➸ Love to run his hand through your hair.
➸ Regardless of time or place this man NEEDS to be have some kind of contact with you whether it's just holding your hand or a hand on your thigh.
➸ Before you two actually started dating he definitely had a crush on you first.
#draco x reader#draco lucius malfoy#hogwarts#hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry#fanfic#headcanon#slytherin boys#blaise zabini#blaise zabini x reader#fandom#slytherin fanfiction#slytherin#theo nott x y/n#theo nott x you#theo nott fic#theo nott x reader#theo nott fanfiction#theodore nott#theodore nott headcanons#theo nott headcanons#blaise zabini x you#blaise x reader#draco malfoy fanfiction#draco malfoy#draco fanfiction#draco headcanons#lorenzo berkshire#lorenzo berkshire headcanons#harry potter#slytherin pride
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Yes! Mr Murphy (Rewritten)
PART 27: RESIGNATION
Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader
Warning: Lots of Angst, Age Gap, Teacher x Student, Pregnancy Loss, Infertility
One week later
One week passed, and you finally left the hospital after missing work and school, putting you behind with the curriculum.
During this time, Emma was looking after you, calling in sick from work herself and even Nina visited you twice, once with Connie and once with Cillian, who politely waited outside.
Seeing him still bothered you, and you were not over the fact that he had slept with his assistant, who, you knew, had it out for him, and this did not make it easy on you. You were disgusted by the sheer thought of it, him pleasuring her the way he pleasured you.
You felt disgusted, and you wondered whether he enjoyed it. Did he want her? Was she better than you in bed? She was older, sure. But was she more experienced? The answer was probably yes.
After telling Emma about these thoughts, she told you to try and forget about him. Being an actor probably made him a player, and you may have dodged a bullet when he broke up with you.
“He is not worth your tears,” she reminded you before embracing you. She had been your best friend for life, and you knew she was probably right.
You had to forget about Cillian, regardless of how hard it was or how much you were still in love with him. He was twice your age as well, and he was famous, both matters which could create much trouble for you in the future.
***
While trying to forget about Cillian, you spent most of the weekend catching up on reading the play Enda Walsh had given you to prepare for, and this play, too, reminded you of Cillian.
It was one of his own, called Disco Pigs, and you knew that this was Cillian’s first ever on-stage performance after he had dropped out of law school when he was just 19 years old.
“Christ, why?” you cursed as you put the book aside for the night, and Emma, again, reminded you that this, too, would pass.
“Try not to think of him”, she told you, but this was easier said than done as you missed him a lot and wondered whether he missed you too.
***
After a while, you got some sleep, and then, the following day, you went to school early to address your dispute with James.
James, however, tried to avoid you, and it wasn’t until you asked him whether two could talk that he pulled you aside, and you had the chance to confront him.
“Save it. I won’t say anything to anyone,” James told you before you could say anything yourself. He was squirming, and his reaction surprised you.
“Great, but why the change of mind?” you asked, crossing your arms.
“Your boyfriend’s lawyer sent me a letter, but I am sure you already know that,” he told you, causing you to grin.
“No…well yes…maybe I did” You smirked while James shook his head in disbelief and told you he was embarrassed for you.
“I did see the article in the Irish Times, though,” James thus pointed out, explaining that your lover was a player, and you simply fell for his charm like a silly young girl.
“We aren’t together, James,” you felt the need to point out, but James simply shrugged it off and disappeared into the crowds. He no longer cared, and you found out later that day that he was seeing an old friend of yours.
***
Following your day at drama school, you finally went to dance school to teach the evening class. A new teacher had run the course in your absence, but you knew you could still supervise your students and review their routines even though you were not allowed to perform. You had not healed yet and were instructed to wait at least two weeks before resuming any exercise.
When you arrived at the facility, you were asked to see your employer immediately and wondered what this was all about.
You did not think that you had done anything wrong but had a bad feeling in the pits of your stomach as soon as you walked into his office.
Your employer had a stern look and asked you to sit down. A small manila folder was sitting on his desk, staring at you, and you could not help but ask whether you were in trouble.
“For a matter of fact, you are,” your boss said, and your chin dropped while anxiety filled your mind.
“What did I do?” you asked, thinking that it was because you were absent for the past week.
“It came to our attention that you had an intimate relationship with one of our student’s parents,” your employer exclaimed, and you inhaled sharply. Sweat was now building up on your forehead, and your hands started to fidget nervously. You did not know how to respond, and there was silence for a long minute.
“Of course, you have nothing to say to this, do you?” your employer asked, and you told him quickly that you regretted your intimate relationship with the student’s father.
“The problem is two-fold, Miss Y/LN. Firstly, Mr Murphy has a certain standing in the community, being an actor subject to much publicity. Secondly, he is not divorced yet, and we are, as you know, an institution funded by the Catholic Church,” your employer lectured you, seeing that the academy was attached to one of the best schools in Dublin, which, of course, being in Ireland, happened to be catholic.
“I understand, and I can guarantee you that this affair was short-lived”, you reassured your employer, who handed you a three-page document entitled “Non-Disclosure Agreement”.
“That may be the case; however, we have already found a replacement teacher for you, and your services here will no longer be needed,” your boss told you, to which you shook your head.
“You can’t just fire me,” you told him, but he begged to differ.
“I can because your intimate relationship with Mr Murphy constitutes misconduct in the workplace. But, I would much rather ask you to voluntarily resign and sign this agreement which will entitle you to redundancy pay of six weeks’ worth of wages,” your boss told you while handing you a ballpoint pen.
For a minute, you considered telling him to get lost. Still, then you read the agreement, which prevented you from speaking to the press about your relationship with Cillian and prevented him from doing the same. In addition, your employer could not issue you with a bad reference because of it, which you knew he would do if you did not sign and voluntarily walked away from your job.
“You see, Miss Y/LN, neither us nor Mr Murphy has any interest in making this public,” your employer told you as you considered your options, taking your time.
“You have spoken to him?” you asked, surprised. You did not expect Cillian to take likely to such a threat.
“No, but I have spoken to his assistant about it, and she concurred”, your boss informed you, causing you to laugh.
“Of course, she concurred”, you chuckled before putting pen to taper. You knew you had no choice, and, at least this way, you were getting paid.
After signing the agreement, you packed up your things and left, tears streaming down your face. You loved teaching these excellent students you had, and now, all of this was coming to an end.
You were not even given a chance to say goodbye to your students, and, just as your boss’s secretary saw you out the door, some of the parents stared at you, being escorted out of the building like some criminal.
You wondered who did this to you, and, in the end, it did not matter. Your short-lived fling with Cillian slowly destroyed your life, and you regretted every moment.
It was your fault. Getting involved with him was wrong; now, you must face the consequences.
***
Unfortunately, you were not the only one to suffer from this, and just as the class commenced without you, the parents began to gossip while their children started to listen.
According to one of the mothers, she had been told by your employer’s secretary that you were fired because you slept with one of the parents.
“He is married too,” she whispered, causing Cillian’s wife, Lorraine, to chuckle.
“How typical of these young women. She is probably after money,” Danielle whispered without knowing who it was you had slept with.
Only Connie decided not to engage in the conversation, telling the others that she did not like to spread unsubstantiated rumours, and it was then that Danielle tried to catch her out.
“It may have been Dermont”, she teased, causing Connie to laugh.
“Uhm, if my husband could land the girls’ dance teacher, I would even go so far as to congratulate him on his achievement, but no, it is not Dermont. I am sure of it,” Connie chuckled, seeing that Danielle was trying to get under her skin.
“Maybe it was Cillian?” another one of the mothers then said, now teasing Danielle, who, too, began to laugh and brushed it off.
“Doubtful. My soon-to-be ex-husband is shagging his assistant, just as I had suspected all those years. Also, this rag of a dance teacher is not his type,” Danielle spat, and it was obvious to the other women who were present that she was still somewhat upset that her husband had moved on with his assistant.
“I suppose we will never find out, so how about we just leave it at that,” Connie said as she began to notice the children listening in; even though Nina was not nearby, she did not want this kind of gossip to be spread amongst the students.
***
Following a rather eventful and unpleasant evening at the dance academy, Nina threw her bag and shoes into the boot of her mother’s car, and it was apparent to Danielle that her daughter was angry and confused.
Danielle knew that Nina liked you and, with that in mind, tried to comfort her in the best possible way.
“It’s all right; you will get used to having someone else teach you. I know you liked Y/N, but she resigned, so there is not much you can do about it,” Danielle explained as they got into the car and drove to Cillian’s house, where Nina would stay for the next three nights.
“She did not resign. She got fired,” Nina pointed out angrily while playing around on her phone and texting you to see whether you were all right. After turning fourteen, she had recently joined Instagram and Facebook and added you as a friend across these platforms, occasionally sharing links with you to dance performances she liked.
“What makes you say that?” Danielle wondered before asking Nina to look at her and get off her phone.
“Oh god, Mum, I am not stupid. I heard the gossip,” Nina told her mother, who was worried about what she may have heard.
“So you know what happened?” she thus asked, gauging the situation.
“Yes, I know what happened, but I don’t know why,” Nina told her mother before accusing her of being the culprit. “Did you tell the academy? Because it seems like something you would do to get back at Dad. It’s just like the stupid court orders he had to get to see me,” Nina spat, telling her mother how upset she had been with these events.
“What are you talking about?” Danielle asked as she pulled the car over in shock.
“What I am talking about is that you did not like the fact that Dad was dating Y/N, so you had her fired. Because all you care about is yourself,” Nina accused, causing her mother’s chin to drop.
“Your dad was dating your dance teacher?” she asked, and Nina quickly realised she screwed up. Her mother did not know, causing Nina to curse and cover her mouth with her hands.
#cillian murphy#cillian murphy smut#cillian murphy imagine#cillian murphy x reader#cillian murphy x y/n#cillian murphy x you#cillian murphy fanfiction#cillian murphy fanfic
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so here's what we're told about the bet with satan:
god will allow whatever happens to job and his family to happen without intervention
heaven is following these orders, the terms of the permit, and will not interfere at all; whatever happens to job is in fact up to satan and hell's own actions
aziraphale considers the possibility that god does not necessarily want job and his family to suffer - or more specifically, that crowley is wrong
crowley is steadfast to the contrary, and asserts that god's will must be that the children die, and to question god is essentially to follow the same kind of fate (or as close as).
all of this is stating the fairly-obvious, i know. but i think we're possibly, once again, reading this scene and taking crowley's word for it - understandable, given that the minisode starts, and continues to be for a lot of scenes, from crowley's perspective. but there is nothing to indicate that god actively wants suffering brought on job and his family, nothing to show that that was her intent; satan seemed to initiate the bet, going by muriel's whole account, and god is letting whatever happens, happen.
because that's the thing: standing by and watching whilst hell does so is not, arguably, the right thing to do, but it is the right thing for god to do; to let her creation do what it wants. if hell chooses to go ahead with putting job and his family through hardship, then she will not - and should not - stop it. even when job is beseeching to her for answers, she does not give them; she cannot and will not get involved.
crowley and aziraphale do the right thing by putting a stop to it all, and i think that was the plan, particularly of the ineffable variety - not that crowley and aziraphale were pre-destined to stop it per se, but that all the players of her game would act on their own, and make their own choices. they would exercise their free will as they see fit, whether to cause suffering, or to prevent it. free will is not necessarily a good thing, but it is the right thing. this is the game of her own devising.
i also want to consider that this very situation may turn out to be, in part, a parallel of the fall. in the minisode, it seems that the reason why aziraphale didn't fall is because he did exactly as god intended - to act of his own free will, according to what he thought was right - but equally he would not have fallen if he had done the opposite (regardless of how he would essentially punish himself if he had told gabriel the truth). i don't think that god is in the business of punishing anyone, regardless of their motivations or moral alignment, if they are acting out of free will.
and further from this, i don't think god had a hand in the fall at all, not beyond it being - essentially - cool with her if some of her angels didn't agree with her plans for the universe. i don't think she cast them out in the way we're all imagining it to have happened. i think some of her creations acted with cruelty out of free will, and others did not. crowley obviously, more than likely anyway, belongs in the latter category. but she cannot interfere, she cannot and will not take free will away from them.
what crowley thought were her orders were unlikely to have ever been that at all. if anything - wherever crowley is or isn't placed in the narrative of the fall - i think she likely excused herself from deciding the fate of the fallen altogether, and left it to 'her people' to decide. her inaction, to allow the fall to happen, may not have been the right thing, but it ultimately the right thing for her to do. (frankly, i think we can take pontius pilate's handling of jesus' trial in Matthew as some further kind of parallel here)
then take into account aziraphale's constant rhetoric throughout s1 and s2 that humanity has a choice, that everyone has choices; i think he potentially understands god a little more than he's given credit for. and when he says that he's on god's side, specifically doesn't say heaven's, i think that's more literal than even he knows.
#a bit rambly but i know what im trying to say#extrapolate this to the flood etc and i think we have more insight into gods plan than we thought we had#that crowley did the right thing in tempting eve and giving humanity free will - i think that might have been the plan all along#good omens#god is dead theory#flashback meta#s2 meta#the fall/the great war spec
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hihihi ok. so i’m in my last of us fixation mode and i’m being extra silly about it but i NEED to know what’s ur current opinion on the last of us hbo?? also i logged onto tumblr and saw a lot of rly good points defending joel’s final choice and i remember during the last of us pt1 playthrough u had differing opinions so i wonder if u think the show’s differences affect that at all? btw i LOVE ur stuff and cannot wait until u do last of us pt 2 wehehehehe!!! anyway besides all that i just want u to know that u are one of the things in my life that makes it easier to get up in the morning
I still feel exactly the same about the final events as I always have! The show didn't change it for me, and actually being able to remove myself from being in control of the situation in the game and actually just watch the events play out in show format solidified that further. The connection I have to Joel as a player when I play the game really helps me understand his perspective more and stomach the goal a bit more easily, but without that immediate intimacy it puts into perspective for me how kinda monstrous the whole thing is from every angle. Obviously I don't ever lose that sympathy for him, and I never stop understanding why, because the whole point of the conflict is that no one is in the right. Ultimately I think the damning thing for every single person involved is that they removed Ellie's agency from the equation, and I still stand by that. They all should have talked to her. They should have told her the truth. All she wants is for her immunity to matter, and I believe that they may have been surprised at the lengths she's willing to go in order to make a difference, whether it's ultimately the right call or not.
I don't know what arguments you've seen exactly in defense of Joel's choice, but personally I don't really agree with one I see a lot and I'd expect will pop up again now that the show is over, which is the whole "well who's to say a vaccine would have worked anyway?????" angle. I think, while reasonable from a meta standpoint, completely ignores the intended framing of the story in order to more conveniently justify a protagonist that the story through its entire runtime is trying to tell you is a little bit of a piece of shit. It's pretty clear and safe to assume that the ultimate intent here is that... yes, the vaccine WOULD have worked. Maybe not in the sweeping way they hoped, but Ellie's sacrifice absolutely would have done something. The whole moral dilemma of the situation really does not make any sense unless you give them that as fact imo.
So then, assuming that is true, you have to wrestle with the idea that Joel is willing to take down the entirety of humanity for Ellie. And not really for Ellie, because none of this is what Ellie wanted. The game AND the show QUITE LITERALLY SPELL OUT for us that Ellie really really really does not want to go back to Jackson without finishing what they started, regardless of the cost. Joel's reasons for saving Ellie, while understandable, are ultimately selfish and rooted in his own trauma and having just seen the light at the end of his grieving over Sarah. Again, incredibly sympathetic, but it's selfish. I know we like to joke as much, but Ellie IS NOT his daughter. They share a similar bond after everything they go through, but by the end of the game you can already feel Ellie pulling away from that notion because she's starting to realize Joel doesn't have the same commitment to the idea of her immunity being meaningful as she does, they're only a few miles away and he's already asking her to give up and go back to Jackson with him.
Then, of course, I think what ultimately damns Joel in my eyes on a poetic/storytelling level is his decision to lie to Ellie after it's all over. That's the nail in the coffin for me. It would be one thing if he said "they were going to kill you on that operating table without even telling you what was going on and I couldn't let them do that", but instead he lies to her to make sure she's still able to see him as the father he desperately wants to be again. It doesn't change anything. He tells her her worst fear has come to pass: her immunity, this unexplainable thing that has taken so many of her loved ones from her, is completely useless. Not only that, but now even more people are dead. Including Marlene, who's known her since birth. The only thing his lie changes is the fact that he's responsible for it all.
Anyway, part of what I love most about The Last of Us Part II is how it follows up on these threads and you may be pleased to know that I actually just started streaming the game last night after the HBO finale premiered cause I was so pumped up I couldn't wait any longer haha. So you'll be seeing VODs for that soon :)
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34 and obikin for the fic list! 👀👀👀
Thank you for this prompt!
from this prompt list
34. meeting at a masquerade ball au (760 words)
Someone had allowed the event planner to hire a quartet of jizz-wailers for the masquerade. The off-key kloo horn player was adding to the headache that Obi-Wan’s elaborate suit and matching mask had brought on at the beginning of the night. The only upside to the mask Obi-Wan had been required to don for it was that it hid his facial expressions. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to hide his distaste for the worst of the songs otherwise.
The mask otherwise was nothing but a hindrance. The Order had sent him because they’d gotten a tip that there would be an illicit deal taking place during the ball: that the Zygerrians were selling force sensitives to the Neimoidians. For what purpose was unknown, and Obi-Wan was tasked with stopping the deal and gathering information. He had his suspicions on which Trade Federation and Zygerrian representatives would be here, but it was difficult to identify anyone with the ornate masks and disguises every being in the room wore.
Obi-Wan was startled out of his perusal of the dance floor – he’d been tracking three different Zygerrians on the floor, and he was about to rule out one of them as his mark - by someone bumping into his elbow and spilling their drink on him.
“So sorry, I didn’t see you there. Here, let me help you clean up.” Before Obi-Wan could say anything the stranger had looped their arm through his and was pulling Obi-Wan toward the freshers.
“I’m quite alright,” Obi-Wan protested, “It’s just white wine, I can just grab a napkin here to clean it up.”
“Kriff,” the stranger muttered. “I knew I should have grabbed a different drink.”
Obi-Wan narrowed his eyes and dug his heels in. Regardless, the other man kept dragging him. Unwilling to cause a scene, Obi-Wan gave in and followed. When they made it through the fresher door the stranger took off his blue and green mask, covered in large feathers, and revealed his face.
“Again, I’m so sorry Master Kenobi, but I’ve got important information for you.” Earnest blue eyes met his and Obi-Wan swallowed back the biting retort he’d been prepared to reply with.
“I’m afraid you have me at a disadvantage,” he said instead. The stranger bit their plush lip, drawing in Obi-Wan’s eyes, while they debated whether to reveal their identity or not.
“Knight Anakin Skywalker,” the man said finally, offering his hand out for Obi-Wan to shake. Instead, he grasped his fingers gently and bent down to press a soft kiss to the back of Anakin’s hand. “I – I’m a shadow from the Tatoo system. I’ve been tracking the Zygerrians you’re here for.”
Obi-Wan pushed his own mask up so he could speak to Anakin face to face. It was a relief to have another Jedi here. Normally this mission would have been assigned to a Master with a senior Padawan, or two Knights, but with rising tensions throughout the galaxy the Jedi were spread thin.
“Pleased to meet you Anakin,” he said warmly. “People might start to notice if we hide in the fresher for too long, why don’t you fill me in on the dance floor?”
Anakin smiled and put his mask back on before looping an arm through Obi-Wan’s. “I’ll follow your lead, Master.”
On the dance floor, Obi-Wan drew Anakin close and guided him into a simple dance step. Anakin followed his lead easily. They spun around the floor and Anakin pointed out the Zyerrian he’d followed across two systems, and told Obi-Wan what he’d learned about the trafficking operation. They had some time until the handoff, and Obi-Wan decided to keep them on the dance floor and wait for the mark to leave before they followed.
Tipping his face down, Anakin whispered into Obi-Wan’s ear. “What do you say after we kick some slaver ass and free some force sensitives, you give me a ride on your ship after?” He let one of his hands slide down Obi-Wan’s chest, making his intentions clear.
Obi-Wan pulled back slightly to get a better look at Anakin. “Surely they teach shadows how to flirt better than that?”
Anakin shrugged. “It’s working, isn’t it?”
“Force help me, it is. Though you could have gotten what you wanted without opening your mouth.” Anakin smirked at him and started to say something. “Don’t say anything,” Obi-Wan said exasperatedly.
Anakin wiggled his eyebrows and pulled Obi-Wan off the floor. “Come on,” he said excitedly, “it’s go time. We can talk about what to do with my mouth after we take care of this.”
#by take care of this anakin does mean murder the zygerrian and the buyer#i'm thinking he was found and trained by a jedi shadow#and the order has him remain a shadow so they can turn a blind eye to some of his methods that the senate wouldn't approve of#i.e. light saber first ask questions never when he's taking down hutts and slavers regardless of their ties to republic commerce#obi-wan is a little bit horrified and a lot turned on by how ruthlessly efficient anakin is#and they manage to save the force sensitives that were being sold ofc#obikin#prompt fill
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Hello grizz!! Your world-building and storytelling really inspire me in riptide, and as an aspiring dm I have but one question!!
How did you prompt the players to write their pc's backstories at the very beginning? Since they're all super interconnected with locations and actual people from their backstories, were those connections planned from the very beginning and did the players know about it??
I guess my point is that I want to write a campaign that has similarly linked characters, but I don't know how I should go about it. Write a story first and blend PC backstories into it, or make players write backstories and write the story around that?
(I'm not sure if this is like secret dm and player behind the curtain info that you can't share and in case it is that's fine, thank you for still taking the time to read this haha :]!! )
There isnt a right way, but I think after you DM for a while, youll learn what works for you and your table.
You can have your players make their characters, and then build a world around them, or you can build a world and then have your players make characters in the world. Regardless, I recommend making your players build their characters together or at least have a session 0 where everyone agrees on what they want out of the game and other table rules. It helps so that you dont have characters who dont get along, which can end up in players not having fun. You can also look up character building questionnaires to send to your players, that will help them flesh out the characters, and give you stuff you can use in the game. Important family member NPCs for example, or greatest fears for another.
In Riptide I didnt have a world built when we started, so there wasnt a story there. The concept of pirates vs navy isn’t original, it was just a starting point and gave the world a cohesive theme. I built small adventures and conflicts, and how the players reacted in character was how the story was told. Now, however, theres a lot more fleshed out, which means the world is going to change, whether they have a hand in it or not, and the story will be the characters perspective and lives throughout the ever changing world. The heaviest theme of the story right now is choice. Whose ideals will win? Whose choices will be remembered?
Id really suggest having a concept and an overarching plot at least so that you can integrate your players into it quicker and easier. An overarching plot might look like world alternating NPC motivations, like coming up with an antagonists plan long before the players are introduced, and have that plan effect the players directly, no matter what their backstory is.
For example, if you had a world that was in endless war fought by orphans raised to be genetic super soldiers, your players would have a jumping off point to write their characters. Your first few sessions might be exploring the live of these young soldiers, and then you throw the ultra plot twist at them like all of a sudden the world powers declare peace as long as all the super soldiers are eradicated, and then what was going to be a campaign of fighting war for the world or something, is now a campaign about being on the run from the world that created the characters. Not saying this idea is good, its just a silly idea to give quick example.
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i want to talk about something with Astarion that i think is important to how i read his story but also maybe kind of a touchy thing, which is how a positive relationship (whether friend or romance) with him can start: him attempting to drink the player character's blood while they sleep.
at that point in the story, Astarion has not told them anything about his vampirism or need to drink blood (even though they may suspect), and he attempts to feed on them while they sleep so they remain unaware of this. in his origin route, he can even do this successfully and feed on other companions while they sleep without them knowing.
the alternate way this can happen is Astarion eventually confessing to the player in the camp that he's a vampire, and at that point the player can offer that he drink from them.
so, the glaring thing to me about the first option where he approaches the player to drink at night is that, when looking at Astarion's vampirism as a physical manifestation or symbol of his trauma (see this post), it feels impossible not to address this as something nonconsensual that he specifically tries to hide from the player character.
i think there's a lot of ways someone can read this, but after turning this over in my head for a while now, i think the way i read it is: regardless of whether he confesses he's a vampire first or the player catches him trying to feed from them, this event is the perspective shift that changes things for him.
Astarion at this point has had his perspective warped by years, literal centuries, of Cazador and the other spawn being his only context. his baseline for interacting with other people is them, and the victims he lures to their deaths. in Astarion's origin route you learn that the first night, he has a nightmare of Cazador and his rules. Astarion then realizes that if he can walk in the sun, maybe he's free from Cazador's influence too, and he decides to test this by breaking Cazador's rule to never feed on thinking creatures.
from this perspective, Astarion is only thinking about himself and testing the limits of his new freedom. he doesn't think about the person he drinks from expect to select the most appealing one (which is always the player in his non-origin route). he also does not think of this as a problem, except in that he has to keep it a secret because people tend to not like vampires (or want to stake them). this is just how vampirism works. vampires feed on people and they generally don't like this, he's a vampire, therefore he doesn't want people he has to rely on for help/protection to know, but he needs to feed, so this is just what has to happen.
however, after he feeds from the player with their permission the first night, if he continues to feed on them, it's because they tell him he has permission to. and if you play as the dark urge and romance him while resisting the urge, there's a dialogue option on the night durge attempts to kill him where he scolds them and says "we ask before we bite."
notably, the main other times he bites people are if he uses the vampire bite in battle (against enemies the party is killing anyway) or to turn the player into a vampire (which he also only does with their permission).
so something here has changed. first, he realizes that he's no longer under Cazador's control thanks to the tadpole. then, he realizes that the world and context Cazador created, his only reference point for his vampirism up to this moment, is not the only way to be a vampire. not only can he do things without Cazador's control, but he can also choose different things -- like asking permission before feeding from someone (at least someone he likes and/or isn't going to murder in battle anyway).
tl;dr: imo, the nighttime-sneaking-up-on-the-player scene (and the confession where the player can give him permission to drink from them) is a perspective change, where Astarion goes from Cazador's perspective of how vampires are (monsters, to be brief) to his realization that there are alternate ways to be and he can choose (or not) to find one of those alternate ways.
#astarion#meta#thanks for coming to my ted talk i rewrote this so many times#this is mostly for myself to sort out some thoughts and help inform my fic writing#but im always open to hear other thoughts too :)
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So, not gonna lie, I’m having trouble understanding this arc and what story the cast is telling, I’m hoping you can help me understand a little bit, are the gods good or bad? Should we be against them? Or is it a thing of “even the gods can make mistakes, their not above criticism and analyzation. And this is humanizing them.” I don’t know, I’m confused.
Hi anon,
If I may, you cannot know the exact story that’s being told by an ongoing improvised show until it completes, and stories for adults often do not have a clear good/bad split but rather encourage you to draw your own conclusions. As a result, I think it is impossible to answer the question that was asked, but I can try to provide some insight.
In Exandria, there are both good and neutral-aligned gods (Prime Deities) and evil-aligned gods (Betrayer Gods), and these gods explicitly oppose each other; they have only rarely come together as when, along with the primordial titans (post-Schism, loosely allied with the Betrayer Gods) they sealed Predathos. The Ruby Vanguard is against all of the gods, whether Prime or Betrayer, and in favor of Predathos. In the past, most heroic characters we’ve seen have been affiliated with either the Prime Deities or with entities who are neither, and most villainous characters we’ve seen in the past that were associated with a god were associated with Betrayer Gods.
During this arc, we’ve seen a lot of people’s opinions on the gods, and we’ve seen the actions of various people, affiliated and unaffiliated, with the gods. But we’ve actually only quite briefly seen the gods themselves, during FCG’s two castings of Commune, and the Dawnfather’s visitation upon Deanna. So, in the interest of guiding people towards developing their own conclusion on the gods: Would you form an opinion based solely on the opinion others have about something? Or would you take into account their biases, their reputations, and the structures of their arguments, and if possible, go straight to the source?
The Ruby Vanguard and Paragon’s Call, as well as people who have found meaning in Ludinus’s speech, have fallen into three broad categories:
Some, like Tuldus or the people of Hearthdell, have suffered at the hands of those who worship the gods. Whether this is the will of the gods or not is unconfirmed.
Some, like Liliana Temult, and possibly Ludinus Da’Leth, have suffered in life in general, and see this as a failure of the gods. This in fact touches on the question of theodicy (“if there is a god, why does evil exist/occur”) which has been a core question of religious philosophy in the real world for at least four millennia. I do not think we are going to be the ones to answer that definitively.
Some, like the various underlings at the Tishtan site, are merely apathetic. The gods don’t mean anything, good or bad, to them, and they are getting paid to help build and protect the key, so who really cares what happens.
The player characters we’ve seen this campaign have, with the occasional exception of Imogen (whose opinions fall weakly towards the middle category), either been in favor of the gods; apathetic but have not been given any incentive towards releasing Predathos; or apathetic/neutral but have suffered at the hands of those who worship Predathos. Indeed, one can argue that everyone except Deanna and FRIDA have suffered in some way at the hands of those who worship Predathos by being teleported at random. Certainly all of Bells Hells has by being attacked and in some cases murdered.
Now: I think that the point of this exercise is to help you make your own decisions, but I’ll reveal my bias. I think the most consistent message of this arc is what Ashton, Orym, and Laudna have been saying the entire time: regardless of whether the gods are good or not, as individual entities or as a greater system of power, people have always had free will. And regardless of whether the gods are good or not, Ludinus, Otohan, and other members of the Ruby Vanguard have slaughtered innocent bystanders without a second thought. I think the most important takeaway is that the primary source of both good and evil in the world of Exandria is, and always has been, mortals. The gods of the story are real within the story, but from the perspective of an outside viewer? This seems almost purely metaphorical to me. If things are less than ideal - if parts of complex systems have at times perpetuated harm, perhaps - should we introduce an unknown force with its own unknown potential to do harm to destroy them? Or should we work to address the issues within the existing system and at the very least gather considerably more information before asking something that might be even worse to rescue us?
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Thoughts on Kris x Ralsei, continued
(this is a continuation of my first post on this subject, creatively titled Thoughts on Kris x Ralsei. The parts all build upon each other, so it's best to read from the beginning. Here's a little TOC so you can get up to speed:
Part 1: And They Lived Happily Ever After
Part 1.5: I Believe Your Choices DO Matter
Part 2: A Pair of Star-Cross'd Lovers <- (You Are Here!)
Part 2.5: In Another World, We Could Have Been (Just) Friends
(Future parts to be added as they are written))
(Please be aware that this series will go over topics including coercion, non-consentual romance, and an observation pertaining to potential incestual undertones. If any of this makes you uncomfortable in any way, please proceed with caution. Thank you)
Part 2: A Pair of Star-Cross'd Lovers
Kris Dreemurr is doomed the instant the player assumes control of them.
If Undertale is a game about how your choices can affect the world, then Deltarune is about how sometimes, your choices mean absolutely nothing. Fate grinds on, irrespective of your wishes. Onward you march, towards your ultimate destiny.
This concept features heavilly in a lot of RPGs - the idea that the protagonist is the "chosen one" who will save the world, which due to the constrains of narrative and gaming, is what ends up happening 95% of the time. Much like the Knight and Princess dynamic I discussed in the previous part, this trope is so heavily ingrained in the gaming psyche that we do tend to accept it when it happens,as part and parcel of the RPG experience.
This very familiar setup is where Kris and Susie find themselves upon meeting Ralsei, who waxes lyrical about the very Non-Specific-and-Light-on-Any-Identifying-Details Legend. They are told that the balance of light and dark is being disrupted and a "terrible calamity (will) occur", are shown some apocalyptic imagery, three heroes who are identified by their race/species (and not their name - a detail which may become important later on), who will stop something nefariously dubbed the "Angel's Heaven". It is Prophecy 101, the most barebones framing for a quest you can imagine... but hey, the game needs a hook, doesn't it? Some grand stakes to get the ball rolling.
And so, the roles are doled out: Kris is the human, the unwavering leader; Susie is the no-nonsense contrarian who doesn't really care much for concepts of fate and determinism, and Ralsei is the exposition fairy, doing his best to keep his comrades on the path he has set out for them.
Ok, cool. But where does Kralsei fit into this? Well, in Part 1 and 1.5 of this series of posts, I brought up how Deltarune goes to great lengths to bring the idea of this pairing to prominence... but I didn't really talk about why the game is doing this. And the answer is, because it ties in with Deltarune's central theme of destiny and determinism. Or to put it another way:
Your Choices Don't Matter.
And here, you might protest. Because surely when the game says that, it's only refering to Kris's choices, right? We, as players, can choose from different dialogue options, we can choose to FIGHT or SPARE our adversaries. More fundamentally, we are the ones in control of Kris's movements and actions, while they are almost entirely powerless to fight our influence (note how I say almost - this will be important later).
But think for a moment about the choices we are given as players, and ask yourself - what meaningfully changes as a result of our actions? In Chapter 1, it doesn't matter whether we fight or spare anyone, they'll all return regardless in Chapter 2, with a single line of dialogue added as a handwave to explain why. And while Chapter 2 gives us a little more say in this - we can lose potential recruits to Castle Town by fighting rather than sparing, and they won't turn up in Ralsei's dark world at the end - the main points of the story do not meaningfully change to reflect this.
(there are, of course, things that we CAN do to change things in a pretty big way *coughSnowgravecough* but given that the means to achieve this are rather well-hidden, and it involves doing some very, VERY messed up things in pursuit of it, we can consider it an exception that proves the rule - technically your choices CAN have consequences, but those consequences are so horrific that you're probably better off not choosing in the first place.)
Okay, sure, you say. But this doesn't apply to the interpersonal relationships in Deltarune, now does it? If we don't want Kralsei to happen, then we simply don't choose any of the options that hint at it. That much must be in our power, surely?
To which I have one riposte: the Acid Tunnel of Love.
Brief overview of this sequence: Kris and Ralsei are tasked with "distracting" Queen while Susie and Berdly go to rescue Noelle. Literally on the next screen, the only way to proceed is across a giant river of acid, atop a swan pedallo, while soft carnival-style music plays in the background. Partway through, Ralsei has a heart-to-heart with Kris/the player, Rouxls Kaard does what he does best, and a photo may or may not be taken at the end.
You don't get to choose not to do this (unless you do that other thing which we're not discussing here). This just happens. And it's difficult to get away from the fact that this entire scenario is dripping with romantic undertones, especially when it's contrasted directly afterwards with Susie and Noelle's equally-romantically-charged Rescue and Ferris Wheel ride.
But then, perhaps it's a parody. A funny contrivance that sends up the absurdity of Kralsei by comparing it to a romantic pairing with actual weight, Suselle. But there are two problems with this; the first is that if we write off this scene as parody, then we must also do the same with the ferris wheel, because they both operate under the same logic - they're both based on a massive contrivance.
The second problem is that Ralsei doesn't seem to have got that memo. And no matter how you respond to his questions, the scene will end with his admiration for Kris strengthened. There is NO dialogue option you can select which will dissuade him from his feelings.
Exhibit A: calling Ralsei a lackey will have him cheerfully exclaim "Ooh, I've never been somebody's lackey before!" (because he's a darkner, that's literally what he was designed to be).
Exhibit B: saying "It's strange" has Ralsei write off his question as, erm, "sarcasm". Which would perhaps be read as a rebuttal, except that his understanding of social situations is so minimal that he might genuinely believe he's committed a serious faux pas here, rather than interpret the response as a rejection. It also doesn't change his follow-up response, either.
Exhibit C: Saying nothing when he says "it's good that you're you" has him laugh at how "Kris-like" not saying anything is, before saying that he "[likes] you-like things".
Cue Ralsei haters throwing their hands up in exasperation.
Contrast again with Susie and Noelle's scene. Here, too, we're presented with options to influence how things will happen. But the crucial difference is, we have absolutely zero sway over Susie, and she will always choose to say and do her own things. Here, too, we are powerless to intervene, but in a more direct way, whereas with Kralsei, even though we CAN choose an option, none of them make a difference to the scene or its outcome. This serves to show just how much agency Susie actually possesses, and is a stark contrast to Kris's severe lack of agency... as well as our own.
What does that mean, exactly? Well, consider this: Susie is free to make her own decisions, up to and including choosing NOT to pursue Noelle romantically. Kris, on the other hand, has no such freedom, and thus cannot choose to opt out of entering into a relationship with Ralsei. And, as I have alluded to a few times, neither can we, despite what our own feelings on the situation might be.
And thus we come to the title of this part - Kris and Ralsei are Star-Crossed. No reference to this line is made in Deltarune as of present, but it has numerous connotations which I believe are relevant to these two characters. Firstly, the idea that their connection is destined to occur - it's written in the stars, woven into the game's literal architecture. As such, there is nothing that anyone can do to stop it from happening - not Ralsei, who probably would be quite thrilled with it, not the player, who try as they might cannot influence it either way, and certainly not Kris, who is almost entirely unable to voice their own desires. We are each as powerless as each other in this instance.
Secondly, the idea that this destined relationship, no matter what form it might take, is doomed to end in tragedy. From the reaction to the various teas, we can infer that Kris is lukewarm on Ralsei at best (this may change as future chapters are released, but it's not exactly a ringing endorsement). And as time goes on, it becomes increasingly apparent that Ralsei is likely labouring under a false notion of who Kris actually is, and has fallen for the idea of Kris that he has conjured up in his own head, rather than the genuine article.
But the problem is more fundamental still, for if we understand the prophecy correctly, light and dark must be in balance - they cannot mix. That means no new dark fountains, which means that Ralsei can never manifest anywhere as a darkner once the events of the game are concluded. This would of course preclude any sort of interpersonal connection, romantic or otherwise. The best that could be hoped for in such a scenario is that Ralsei returns to whichever object he represents in the light world and Kris keeps him around as a memento.
This all assumes a great deal, of course - Kris's stance on Ralsei may well change, and for all we know Ralsei is more than likely very aware that we exist separately from Kris, as evidenced by his clandestine conversations with Kris while we see what Susie's up to. Additionally, it is entirely possible that Ralsei has instead fallen for US through Kris, which presents... additional complications. More on that later.
All of this leads us back to the central conceit of Deltarune: Our choices do not matter. Nothing we say, nothing we do, can change what is going to happen. We don't know exactly where this is going to go, whether they will fall into a full-on romance, or if they become something more akin to queerplatonic partners, or good friends, or something like siblings, or perhaps even mortal enemies. But one thing is for sure - Deltarune is going to continue cramming Kralsei down our throats, whether we like it or not.
...okay, think I best stop there for now. And look, I know I haven't really gone too much into the why of all this just yet. But patience - much of the past few essays have been establishing the groundwork - the what and the how, if you like. I'n Part 3, I'll attempt to go over what I believe the Narrative (i.e. the game) is trying to accomplish with Kralsei - what it's trying to say about games, stories, romance, and how we can be manipulated into endorsing a potentially problematic relationship, irrespective of the wishes of the vessel we control.
Thanks for reading!
#writing#essay#Deltarune#fan theory#Kris dreemurr#Ralsei#Kralsei#Krisei#kris x ralsei#destiny#Narrative#acid tunnel of love#your choices don't matter#Suselle mention#cw potential noncon#thoughts
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If you're down for a bit of sads, how about Guild!MC jokingly made a bet with Ulbert for Demiurge's hand in marriage and Demi remembered but she didn't?
A/N: So many intriguing ideas for this one... X3 I love the thought of it. So full of angst and miscommunication! ♥
“Marriage for NPCs aren't a thing,” Demiurge recalled his Creator saying to her.
“Yeah? But the devs could implement it at some point! I mean, c'mon! They just allowed for player characters to marry one another, and for Guild NPCs to be allowed into dungeons.” She smirked. “You know it's coming.”
Ulbert stifled a laugh. “Fine then. If you lose this PVP fight, you'll have to marry my creation then. And don't divorce him either. You have to stay married to him. How does that sound?”
“Don't threaten me with a good time,” she joked.
That was seemingly so long ago.
Regardless, Demiurge recalled it all perfectly. But, nothing seemed to come of it. Whether that was because of these 'devs' or because of other reasons, Demiurge wasn't sure.
Now that he had his own voice, he felt he could bring it up to her. Find the moment to ask.
Maybe she could easily explain a few things. She seemed to be excited about the thought before...
The moment she showed up, the devil bowed. “My Lady, I was wondering if you could spare me a moment of your time?”
“Sure,” she said with a smile. “What do you need, Demi?”
He fixed his tie, wondering how to properly bring up the past that only he seemed to be focusing on. “Mm, I was curious—do you recall the moment Lord Ulbert asked you to marry me?”
The expression she made alone prompted the devil to nearly panic. It was mostly confusion, as though he was making it up.
“Marry you...?” She tried to recall what he was even talking about. It didn't help her memory was always garbage to begin with. Something somebody just told her could easily go in one ear and then out the other. “I'm.. I'm afraid I don't remember anything like that.”
Demiurge's chest tightened. That wasn't the answer he was hoping for...
“Are you certain? You were told to do so if you lost in a PVP match of some sort. Did you actually win that?”
“PVP match?” Again, she tried to remember what it was Demiurge was even talking about. “There were always so many of those, Demi. You'd have to be more specific.”
“What about the marriage to NPCs?” He was grabbing ant anything he could, trying to hope it wasn't just some dream of his.
She shrugged. “I mean, we could marry other players, but there was never any talk about marriage to an NPC.” She laughed. “I wouldn't doubt I was hoping for it, as I am such a weirdo with people in game. I wanted something that wouldn't mind my crazy ass.”
Hearing her say such things, Demiurge stifled a sound of upset. “So you don't remember the talk at all...?”
She shook her head. “I'm sorry. Maybe you're just remembering it wrong?”
That thought hurt him worse than anything. He wanted to believe he had the most brilliant mind in all of Nazarick. To have a Supreme Being say he might be misremembering something was painful.
Seeing the agony on his face, she gently rubbed his upper arm. “Hey, don't get so upset. We all have memory problems now and again. Goodness knows I'm awful at it myself. You could tell me something right now, and I'm sure I'd forget it in a few seconds.”
He wasn't sure what to say to that. The devil merely nodded.
“Anyways, glad we could have this chat. I'll catch you later, okay?” And with that, she continued onward through the tomb's halls.
She doesn't remember... Demiurge thought, pain striking his dead heart. It's as though someone stole her memories on purpose... He looked down at the floor, shaking his head. But who would do such a thing?
#i wanna marry an NPC in game so bad#gimmie gimmie#love it#demiurge#demiurge x mc#demiurge x reader#overlord#demiurge drabble#demiurge snippet#mod answers#anon
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thoughts on Art/Tashi in Challengers
a really common take i've seen put forth a lot is that Art is fundamentally a submissive character- capable of being sly and manipulative, sure, but generally passive and docile, waiting to receive whatever Tashi or Patrick have to dish out for him.
my take on the Art - Tashi relationship is a bit different. in that i don't really view their marriage as one where Art is slavishly devoted to Tashi while she feels free to do whatever the hell she wants- or to extract whatever submission, labor, or humility she feels she needs from him.
first of all, we are told early on in the film that while Art and Patrick are both from extremely wealthy families- tennis is generally a sport in which only the wealthy or well-connected have the opportunities to go pro- Tashi is not. we don't have any evidence that Tashi grew up in poverty, and this seems unlikely, but i think it's safe to assume she is from, at most, a middle class background in which tennis was likely considered an expensive extracurricular- and then career- for which sacrifices had to be made by the family as a whole.
when we first meet Tashi, she is riding high on her first big wave of sponsorships and brand deals. all of these deals are likely contingent on her continued success as a tennis player. we then discover that early into her time at Stanford- likely during the first semester, as she and Patrick weren't long-distance for more than several months- Tashi is severely injured and her tennis career grinds to a halt.
it's actually not clear whether or not she actually got a degree from Stanford, either- as she ruefully remarks later in life, hitting a ball with a racquet turned out to be the only thing she was good at. it is very possible Tashi dropped out of Stanford following her injury. but regardless, this injury changed the entire trajectory of her life. all that money from those brand deals didn't vanish overnight, of course, but I doubt it was something Tashi could comfortably live on for the rest of her life.
we then learn that Tashi was engaged to Art in 2011. at this point Tashi is around 23 years old. their daughter Lily looks to be around 5 in 2019, when Tashi is around 31. Tashi was married and had a child relatively young, especially for a (former) professional athlete. now, i'm certainly not implying she was coerced into a relationship with Art, or that she primarily married Art for financial security. but I do think many viewers prescribe a very calculated attitude to Tashi, while portraying Art as well-meaning but clueless.
Art and Tashi got together when she seems to have been emerging from a period of serious depression and emotional turmoil, with a veiled joke/reference to her having considered suicide. almost immediately upon reconnecting, Art offers for her to take on a (likely paid) position as his coach. whatever Tashi was making as a hitting partner for other young tennis players is likely not much. for Art, the proposal of a business relationship and a sexual/romantic one was one and the same. the same night he offers Tashi a job, they also ignite a romantic relationship.
in the present day of the film, i've commonly seen people describe the marriage as one where Tashi completely dominates Art, emotionally manipulating and negging him into continuing his tennis career despite his doubts and exhaustion, and stepping out on him with other men whenever she feels like. but we also see that Art craves this dynamic. when Tashi does restrain herself from criticizing him, he grows frustrated and begins to demand she show her affection- and in Art's mind, Tashi's affection means her anger and contempt.
when Tashi asks Art if he needs her to threaten to leave him if he doesn't win, i never took that as a serious, vindictive threat on her part. she sounds world weary and exhausted by his emotional whiplash between reluctant competitor and insecure manchild. i don't actually think Tashi would have left him. i do think, however, that had they never reconnected with Patrick, Art might himself have asked her for a divorce. it's not just that he can know longer give Tashi the experience of vicariously living through his career. she can no longer coach/mother him effectively, in his view.
Tashi does just about everything Art asks her to in the film. she is the one who expresses caution and reluctance when he eagerly asks her to first become his coach. she is the one who tirelessly works to keep him competing. when he asks her if she can quit, she doesn't vocally protest and is more so exhausted by nothing she says being enough for his ego. that isn't to say she is this cheery, humble little wife toiling without a voice of her own, but that I don't actually think the power dynamic is as uneven, with Tashi holding all the cards, as people make it out to be.
that's not to say Tashi doesn't hold any power or dominance in the relationship. absolutely she does. she knows Art will always find her attractive, always want her approval, always be at least a little in love with her. but it's also power that Art persuaded her to take in the first place, and power she accesses through her marriage to him, and to me that's a core theme of the movie. Tashi is not some helpless little girl who stumbled into a wealthy marriage. she's intelligent, ferocious, and demanding. but she never would have found Art appealing in the first place had he not also had that same potential.
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Genshin Impact Sagau AU!
Iconic Updates AU!
In most of these AUs we have statues or other icons of the ‘Creator’ aka the player.
For this AU I propose that every time that the game is updated or any data packs are downloaded, any representations of the player would change once it’s down downloading.
Acolytes assume that you change it personally.
From head to toe any image of you would look exactly like how you look at that time. (You can choose if there’s a glow up or pose change if you want to.)
For the Normal Sagau AU!
Regardless of how much the player has changed since originally downloading the game the characters will have near perfect knowledge of what they look like.
Once the player is transported to Teyvat an arms race begins.
Or, well. A fashion race.
Every. Single. Day. You won’t be without an array of outfits presented to you in hopes of the various icon of your image changing to fit them.
(If anyone chooses to write this they can choose whether they want to updates to happen automatically, not at all which means that icons don’t change either, or having whatever device you played the game on with you so you have the ability to choose.)
Whenever you choose to wear anything, from a pin with a symbol on it to full regalia, if it is from a specific place then they will celebrate and brag about being the creator’s favorite.
Best to switch things up if you don’t want fights to happen.
For the Imposter AU!
If somehow they still don’t recognize that you are the true creator.
Then they’re idiots. Even more so than usual.
For this section let’s assume an update was just released so there will be some time before the next.
Regardless of where you start out people will assume that you’re copying the creator and trying to scam people.
The fake creator (if you chose to have one) has told the people that whatever clothes appear on any icons or statues would be clothes they wish to be made for them and it was a test to see if they were devoted enough.
As people had gotten much better at designing and quickly making clothes there had been cases of particularly talented tailors dressing up someone similar to the creator to pretend to be them.
Due to this you would at most be taken to prison, fined or sentenced to jail if you had attempted to trick people and unless you do something major you wouldn’t be hunted down.
If the fake is somehow able to sense that you are the real one they will immediately have you hunted down and killed in some secluded area.
From here you can choose if you want it to go the killed then revealed route or if the statues change to reflect you and then they realize.
Or if no one realizes then you can dress yourself up put on some makeup and have the reveal be absolutely hilarious.
Well that’s it for this post and send me asks or tag me if you have any questions about this AU.
If you wish to use this idea feel free to use it and don’t forget to tag me!
#genshin impact#sagau cult au#genshin au#Iconic Updates AU#self aware genshin#sagau impostor au#genshin imposter au#Hope everyone liked it#I posted this when the tags dying so no one sees it#But if you do feel free to use or ask about it#yandere genshin impact#genshin x reader
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