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strawberryybird · 5 years

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So whats your favorite thing about each of your fe3h favs? Anything you could just go on a long rant about for any of them? or interactions between them that you wish had happened or wanted to happen.

Waking up in the morning and going through all of the drunk blogging and “-thank-u-for-weathering-my-deep-need-to-be-liked-and-given-attention-off-main-I-guess” if this isn’t a whole mood on its own I don’t know what is. Anyways it sounds like you had fun and it was definetly fun reading everything. I hope you are feeling okay the day after everything. And to tack on a random question which fe3h character would you want to get drunk with if it was just the two of you?

Hi Hello!! thank u for enjoying my drunk blogging !!! and for the asks!!! (and the lovely comments on my fics actually hi there ur wonderful!!!) i’m currently cursing the damage i’ve done to my sleep schedule and suffering under my (truly deserved) hangover lmao ;p apologies u don’t get drunk me, only uncaffeinated hangover me, but we talk to the same degree and make the same spelling errors lol

ah yes.. im a fountain of moods (all of u still with me here are saints hhhh)

ok content time:

the second one first: i absolutely want to get drunk with ferdinand von aegir. the man’s a hop, skip and a vodka shot away from a mess. i love him. he’d be full of conversation and would buy the rounds every time as a true nobleman should !! he’d probably be really good at instigating drinking games but horrible at playing them.. i love party gay ferdie von aegir.

i’m going to LIMIT the faves i list because truly i love them all very much but i have to at least pretend i have some restraint and i don’t want to make this even More of a wall of text it’s going to become . SO

edit: ok i started writing this at like. half ten pm. when the fuck did it become monday.

edit edit: Disclaimer time: these are my conclusions and my conclusions alone. I’m not saying I’m objectively right or correct. I’m very much approaching this from an English Lit-ish point of view because that’s just how I look at a lot of media. I’m not asserting my opinions or conclusions as the only viable to interpret this media, and if anything I say offends you then I am sorry, it was not my intention but I acknowledge that I have hurt you. This is not the exhaustive list of my thoughts on the whole thing, there’s a lot more depth and detail I didn’t go in to.

My favourite thing about Edelgard is the Everything, but notably I really love her proud nature and how in VW it quite directly gets her *spoilered*, and in CF it’s integral to her success (bc it’s her own rigidity within herself that keeps her standing i think) and I Like Tragic Characters (and it’s very elinor dashwood). because it’s one of the qualities that can throw her character into a villainous light & it’s really interesting !! but at the same time.. it’s not quite ‘pride’ purely, and it’s kinda the wrong word. it’s some mixture of determined/stubbon, anger, self-reliance, and that really hard veneer of personality u develop when you’re around people who aren’t healthy for you to be around, and the very very critical need to be right about the choices you made because the weight of the consequences would kinda ruin you if you weren’t. (the dean winchester effect huh) and wrap that up together with a big scoop of ‘i believe my way is right’ (’and my way Has to be right’) and then u get a lot of what i LOVE about Edelgard’s character

My favourite thing about Dorothea is really how she was the character that Hated the war. genuinely the contrast between white clouds dorothea & timeskip dorothea Breaks My Heart EVery Time I See Her !!!!! that and Spoilers!!! (her last words in AM unrecruited is edelgards name and i literally had to stop and cry about it for five minutes.) she’s one of the characters that post-war doesn’t have a Massive political stake in the war - like there’s her anger towards the current class system (another reason i bloody love her PLEASE give me angry feminine characters) but i think it’s her bonds with edie (or byleth&whoever if recruited) that keep her actually fighting in the war & it’s kinda different and i like that (actually i think she parallels/sends up/contrasts really really nicely with mercedes in that way)

my favourite thing about Marianne is just everything. how she finds worth within herself if you play VW (and the very very harrowing hc that she didn’t if you don’t), how she’s full of a quiet rage for the crest system but you eek it out of her as you play the game. how she’s still loved by the deers despite her appalling mental health (fight me on that canon) and the game essentially has her ‘save’ herself by finding worth and life within herself. i love her so much ok. (i also love her because she committed identity theft.. she and i share a name with the second dashwood sister oho (but i don’t use that name on the internet hhh) (also because my favourite shakespeare play is king lear (no really it is), my birthday is in red wolf moon too, i used to have very long hair i wore in a plait most days for school, little 11 and 17 year old me acted Exactly like white clouds marianne did & genuinely i love marianne von edmund to pieces but God it hurts to see her in game sometimes bc her journey mirrors a lot of mine & i love this character. so much.) WOW that was a lot. am i sure im not still drunk

so claude is not only one of my favourite characters in the whole damn game, but also shares the name of one of my favourite painters so i simply have to love him ;p however i can’t give a proper opinion on him yet because i haven’t finished playing deers yet :( but !! i love how (as is with all the lords) he has a veneer of personality to him, but in contrast to Edie where it’s quite seemless with her actual personality, Claude’s veneer of personality seems very opaque and plastered on. i may or may not just be wildly imagining things but he’s a very different personality in his lower supports with Lysithea than he is in his B support with Marianne, for instance. like, i love characters that are obviously a lot more socially intelligent than i could ever be, and claude is *chef kiss* BEAUTIFUL ON EVERY LEVEL.

i’d wax lyrical about Ingrid too but honestly there’s many better people out there with the good ingrid content than i could do. shortly, i love the New Take on the pegasus knight archetype she brings, and i really like her perspective on femininity !!! she’s such a good character & she brings so much to the game and to the pegasus knight character too!!!!! she’s such a bright personality and altho i wish so many of her supports weren’t centred around make-up (hhh dorogrid fans i pray for you), i think she’s really going to pave the way for whoever’s next in that character slot. (like, you can’t tell me she’s not an offshoot of Phila from awakening lmao)

no ok i’m adding in Hubert because i love this vampire man. i really really love the devoted servant archetype and we all know i love edelgard’s tragedy. and i love hubert. so much. the way he enables edelgard in pretty much everything is just so so interesting to think about, and i love his intensity about it. he’s like the ever present reminder that edelgard’s will kinda has to work otherwise the potential consequences of her being wrong are personified in hubert imo. it’s only touched on in VW in his letter but like. god i wish we got more but it’s a wonderful starting block. i love his comic relief as well, he’s such a fun character to have !!!! and also i have so many hubert fics in my bookmarks that just Get him. i love hubert. oh i love hubert.

i’m going to cut myself off there because . that’s just a LOT.

as for characters i would sell a limb to have them talk to each other, honestly it’s Edelgard/Marianne. (and only 51% because of all the projection i have going on with those two ok don’t at me i k n o w). that support chain would be too powerful and honestly i wish they had one becuauese it would have gone so Hard about what Edelgard was doing and what Marianne thought about it, and how they connected over it & they probably would have had their supports set over cups of tea or smth .. it would have been amazing.

(but i’d rather have nothing than an awakening-level-content support where they talk about eating fucking bear meat instead of talking about how they grew to trust each other with and their ability to save the fate of the world HUH AWAKENING. (i’m salty about fredrobin forever)

also hilda/dorothea supports . we were robbed. they’re best friends and you can’t actually tell me otherwise. they run the disaster bi chat of garreg mach. honestly i just would Love a support chain for them that starts with them talking about self care routines and something really small like accessories or perfume and it goes into how self-esteem and how dorothea has to find the same worth in herself as hilda so easily can. (hilda’s the queen of self esteem she’s a babe) and in CF they could have dialogue and then we cry about it. and in SS they talk about how they both chose their place with Byleth and not at edie/claude’s side like i’m just free balling here it could be Anything and i’d love it.

also big shocker .. dorothea/marianne supports . they both hate themselves in their profile CAN THEY PLEASE CHAT.

also i accidentally fell in love with the claude/edelgard ship and i desperately need them to interact on the same level that edie and dimitri get to because.. aren’t there supposed to be three main characters huh intsys .. and like i get what the game goes for with two of the lords embroiled in a personal war against each other at the heart and the third actually finding something close to the truth because he’s not involved in age old grudge matches but at the same time That’s one of the things that really really falls flat for me in the game. dimitri’s villain is edie, edie’s villain is big dragon wife, claude’s villain is the lack of communication that everyone in fodlan suffers from apparently. lack of communication and lies. ymmv with what im saying rn but i would have preferred if all three lords had strong personal ties to each other and in Each Route it was brought up. or just snip dimitri’s dialogue out of CF because i have beef with how that WHOLE moment went down on so many accounts hhhh honestly it makes me angerey to think about lol

.. back on topic- can the lords pls talk to each other because it would be SO interesting in white clouds and i like seeing how their personality presentations clash

also . can i marry manuela yet. my crops are dying here.

.. im so sorry about this but it’s midnight and i’m too tired to edit so. have this. thank you so much for the questions!!!! very kind (and brave) of you to ask me!!!!! i had a lot of fun writing all of this & as always if anything you didn’t quite /get/ i’m happy to re-explain myself!! :)

#ask #OH HELL THIS IS A POST HUH #fe meta #i mean it's not its just me having opinions rather loudly on ur dash #also that paragraph about edelgard is pretty much what i keep in mind to write her for my rtau fic #this is LONG im SO SORRY but NOT SORRY AT ALL #ur an actual angel if u sat thru this all #anyway. thank u so much for the ask that's so kind of u and i sent this mess back out into the world #my apologies oml #ok it's gone midnight im hitting post before i chaneg my mind #kalinary

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saints-and-poets-maybe · 5 years

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Okay so y’all remember in Twilight how Bella and Edward were lab partners in biology class?

(Stay with me, I have to have some outlet for my inexplicably encyclopedic knowledge of Mormon Vampire Smut.)

That one scene established that Bella was actually a rational human being and, for a teenager and especially by Forks standards, scientifically competent, to Edward’s total disbelief.

My question is, why on earth was that gem of a plot hook dropped?

Sure, we got Bella the wannabe paranormal investigator for about three chapters, but that consisted solely of late-night googling and some woefully-underappreciated mushroom ravioli before she was “unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.” No, thanks.

We could have had FOUR BOOKS of Bella the scientific skeptic, taking up a Badass Normal role in the Cullen coven to be a decent character in her own right, instead of simpering, submissive self-insert fodder. Have some plot threads that I guarantee would have improve the series 10,000%:

Option 1: Bella starting out in total disbelief, annoyance, and maybe even fear at the way Edward and his family keep things from her. Remember, the books start out establishing her as an intellectual rival, even with his improved vampire cognition, so there’s a lot of potential here. Instead of Edward just, like, outing himself and his family, she’s slowly convinced of the Masquerade as she’s bit by bit (ha) challenged by things that get harder and harder to explain through conventional means. It’s easy to still write this into a budding romance. Tell me Bella doesn’t try to get a scraping of Edward’s cold-ass, uncomfortable hands to look at under a microscope, only to find that his skin is impenetrable. Dun-dun-dunn!

Besides, the Cullens canonically know that telling her outright, or even allowing her to find out, would sentence her to death via Volturi, so there’s zero reason this should happen in half a book for both plot and practical reasons. Imagine the tension when the Cullens are scrambling to keep Bella alive without being able to tell her or warn her. That’s well within character for both parties at the beginning of the series; the Cullens are aloof and insular albeit well-meaning, and Bella is stubborn as hell with a big-ass truck.

(Fun fact: the first draft of New Moon had Bella finding out Jacob was a werewolf on the last page of the book. If you can conceivably sustain the “best friend is a furry” plot in a sequel to the “boyfriend might be a vampire?” story, you can keep the whole masquerade going for longer than 100 pages, even with an actively curious heroine.)

Eventually, after actual drama and discomfort (and possibly a breakup that’s initiated by Bella’s hurt and frustration over being lied to, instead of by Edward being an infantilizing ass), Bella’s curiosity wins out. Because of the pieces of the puzzle she’s uncovered up to that tipping point, the collapse of the Masquerade immediately puts her at risk of execution or turning--the same end result as we got in New Moon. Where this timeline differs is that her own initiative, rather than reactivity to Edward’s melodrama, got her there, and her own initiative grants her agency in the events to follow.

Option 2: Bella ends up bonding with Carlisle because none of his adopted children actually have an interest in human science or medicine. Lord knows Mr. I Love Emo Piano was too busy pining after high school students to get through medical school, so I’m sure Carlisle would have been thrilled that Bella could at all understand his work. Sure, there’s no way Bella could catch up on Carlisle’s five hundred years of medical practice, but expand on her knack for biology by giving her an interest in the mechanics of vampirism. It’s Word of Meyer that vampires are the science to werewolves’ magic; exploit that by applying Bella’s natural abilities.

This point fixes a significant proportion of the narrative issues with Breaking Dawn. In canon, Bella is a starving, terrified bystander to her own impending death by vampire fetus, and that state of affairs really leaves no option but forced envenomation and subsequent torturous transformation. But if she’d spent the last three books coming to a better understanding of how vampires work, then a) she’d probably have figured out the blood thing on her own, or failing that b) she could have developed a means to give birth without dying, or c) known enough about vampire physiology to have had advance warning on becoming Edward’s baby mama in the first place.

Regardless, any of these paths would have given her options, something Bella as a heroine was sorely lacking for the entirety of the series. Sure, there was an author-imposed “which hot boy will I pick?”, but at no point was Bella faced with a dilemma of any real meaning. In-story, she was railroaded through her own series by forces outside her control. Either preserving the Masquerade or apprenticing Bella to Carlisle would have resulted in Bella facing choices that impacted her own mortality, a theme that could have been so rich in a book about immortals pretending to be human. Instead, she never had a chance, and that’s a tragedy.

Here’s the kicker: none of those things are mutually exclusive with a Hot Vampire Boyfriend. You can have escapist paranormal romance without sacrificing the dignity and resourcefulness of your YA heroine. You can have steamy beach sex without taking away her independence or her devotion to the one she loves. And you can have a attractive, conflicted boyfriend without making him a manipulative codependent. Instead we got Vapid Mormon Bella where proximity to a cute boy liquefied her critical thinking skills and her fashion sense.

#twilight #long post #writing #bella swan

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robininthelabyrinth · 6 years

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Watching the Legends episode. Pretty good episode, for once! Still probably only a B, maybe a B+.

Rip is investigating vampires, while pretending to be Sherlock Holmes.

Poor Jax. I’m amazed he didn’t try to break up sooner. Ray, it’s very rude not to tell people about side-effects in advance.

Amaya heart-eyes Zari. Zari finally has an articulation of what we all knew she was there to do, good! Interesting to see where they for this.

Did Nate really just “wazzup” the crew? Does he even know how out of date that is? Also, Mick is reading Dracula BEFORE they find out about the vampire plotline of the week! Which means he’s literally just reading it for fun! One of the most dense works of fiction out there! Mick <3

Why does Nate know anything about math, exactly? He was supposed to be a historian? Except they don’t care about that.

Nate says vampire. Mick: *perks up* *randomly has a stake* I carry it around my whole life! So much fic potential here... and he wears garlic <3

Nate’s accent is awful.

The gag with the smartwatch is funny.

Sara waits until AFTER mind-wiping the guy to announce that they’re going to break the law?

How did Rip get into the grave...? Though this actually supports the idea of an alternative plotline where Rip isn’t as much of a bureaucratic asshole.

Amaya: *heart-eyes Zari LIKE WHOA*

Rip always goes straight for “THIS IS THE BIG BAD IT’S SO BAD LET ME TELL YOU HOW BAD IT IS”. Always.

“The Time Bureau is too bureaucratic to understand this” = this would have been a good place to start. Unfortunately, Rip only bringing it up now - AFTER he was so pro-Bureau the last few episodes - makes it come off less as sincere and more as outright manipulative. and then he offers to call off the pursuit only AFTER Sara starts negotiating, not before? even more manipulative. He was holding that back deliberately so that he could use it as a trading tool.

Good on Mick for not trusting Rip.

Stein gets to play dress up even more in this episode. Evil ancestor, I assume.

Nate = potatoes. I dunno, guys, maybe keep the potatoes?

Yep, evil ancestor. Sir Stein, an actor AND a Renfield.

...Order of the Shrouded Compass. Okay. You know what, I’ll go with it.

I really enjoy how into the vampire hunting Mick is.

Do you think the mystic is from America because the actress couldn’t do a British accent?

RAY SUGGESTS CALLING SOMEONE??? Good lord, it’s like they actually listen to us sometimes.

Sara enjoys hitting people. Rip enjoys watching. If they didn’t have such an awful start, I’d ship ‘em.

Demon eyes - I’ve always loved that effect. Oh, interesting! Zari was the older sister.

Damien Darhk, who literally no one wants to see again. *sigh*

Okay, Sara, he’s still asleep? Literally all you need to do is, like, slit his throat? cut off his head? stab him in the heart? YOU’RE IN A ROOM FILLED WITH SHARP IMPLEMENTS. THIS WOULD TAKE YOU LESS THAN THREE SECONDS AND THEN YOU COULD GO RESCUE THE OTHERS. WHY DO YOU NOT DO THIS??? (also, Rip is ALWAYS saying “don’t worry about your own issue, worry about mine - I mean, the greater good”)

...wow, I wrote that BEFORE Rip starts defending not killing Darhk. “Personal prejudice”. Wow, Rip. You’re being a real bitch here. But at least he eventually admits he’s wrong?

(okay - how many people want to vote in Rip to be Mallus? it’s pretty typical for the obsessed hunter to be revealed as the bad guy. Though that’s probably too advanced for this show...)

Zari has even more tragic backstory. Also, her view makes no sense. He had magic powers, she didn’t? but okay, okay, whatever, grief makes things weird.

Stein is right; Jax shouldn’t be sneaking around behind his back. He should’ve just presented it to his face. What is WITH CWverse and a complete inability to tell the truth?

SERIOUSLY? No one has removed Rip’s controls over Gideon yet? NO ONE? after last season? are these people STUPID?

Mick: “told you so”

Can we all agree that Rip is being an unmitigated jerk here? He deliberately agreed with Sara in order to lull her suspicions while planning on stabbing her in the back, he gave her the captaincy only to undermine her while pretending to support her, he’s deliberately keeping them helpless using their own ship (THEIR ship - he turned it into a training ground! he turned off Gideon!) because he sees it as his own private property - he sees the Legends themselves as extensions of himself, really, “I made you I can break you”, “you disagree with me, fine, then I’m going to force you to sit in time out”, etc. He’s being a reall dick.

Obvious con going on with Zari here.

Though Eleanor being able to use the totem is...weird. I thought it was more specialized a tool than that?

At least it seems like they TRIED to do something about the secret commands, but seriously, you can’t just ask Gideon; she’s incentivizd to lie because of her programming.

I love Mick just reading the entire time. I have been there. When you’re into a book, fuck the world. Mick reaffirms himself as my favorite.

Another claims-he’s-a-God character? Really? We’re going with that again?

*laughs* Okay, Darhk’s vampire-esque rising is just too silly to take seriously. And the “who stole my watch” is funny. I would like him if he wasn’t, well, a Nazi.

Okay, the music cue and Darhk’s brand-new power set is funny. But seriously, where is the music coming from? (as in - he lost his watch. The Legends took it. Where is it now? he certainly doesn't have it. So the music can't be from the watch.) and why haven’t the Bureau picked up some anti-magic skills at this point? Especially if Rip knew about Mallus?

...what the fuck. What...the...fuck? If Rip has a time freezing device, why doesn’t he use it more? or ever? or anything? Though the “I’m going to walk slow” thing obviously backfires. If you know you have a time limit, then seriously, just shoot the guy?

Interesting, Darhk remembers everything, even post mind-wipe.

Why couldn’t Zari pull the totem back earlier in the fight? If this was meant to be a reclaiming moment, it was a bit too understated. Though I approve of her doing it to defend Amaya (at least obliquely).

Dead Time Bureau agents. Lovely. Rip, you’re the WORST leader. Ever. Everyone who follows you is just a pawn to you, aren’t they?

Amaya: *EVEN MORE HEART EYES TO ZARI*

Amaya, Zari is 1000% a step up from Nate.

Rip doesn’t care about the dead agents. Sara has a good point about how Rip goes rogue all the time from everyone who ever trusted him.

Hahahahahahahahahaha, Rip creates a legal system and is surprised that it applies to him. Oh, sweet justice. He always did think he was above the rules - from the very first introduction scene of season 1, when the Time Masters literally designed an entire plan that counted on Rip breaking the rules and being a selfish asshole. That was literally the plot of season 1 - “let’s assume Rip will do this breaking the rules thing”. At that time, it seemed like his justification was his grief over his family - understandable! even I thought it was understandable - but the more we see of him, the more we see that it’s not. If only this show goes in full-fledged into making this Rip’s character arc, rather than just his characterization, that would be cool.

Now if only the Flash would realize this whole “law” thing applies to everyone...

Though seriously, they just undermined it. If the other Director approved the mission, the blame falls in part on him. He who authorizes can’t suddenly blame he who suggested. That’s not how responsibility works!

Oh, well. It was a decent attempt at a moral.

Though I don’t really like how Sara characterized it as being “cold”? It’s just...law.

#lot liveblog

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revjess-flradio · 7 years

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The Top Ten Bad Horror Movies That I Love

Not ranked in terms of love, just listed.

10. Stay Alive: The Director’s Cut (2006)

This movie is not good. Not good at all. It’s a cheesy as shit, supernatural horror movie that was pushed heavily by Game Informer, simply due to its plot. The film tells the story of a video game (that is basically a Resident Evil/Doom clone on PS2) that kills you in real life if you die in-game. Few things are redeemable in this film. The biggest names in it are a post-puberty, mid-Malcolm Frankie Muniz and one of the McPoyle Brothers. The rest of the crew is just sort of there. It’s worth seeing once for sure, simply for the novelty of it. I think I love it because I watched it so much when it came out. I searched through so many Exchanges, Blockbusters, and Wal-Marts trying to find it. When I finally did, I wore the DVD out.

9. Thir13en Ghosts (2003)

This big budget horror movie, inspired by William Castle, was the first from Dark Castle Pictures. It had a decent team of producers, including super-producer Joel Silver.

It tells the story of a family who moves into a futuristic house after inheriting it from a sketchy uncle. Everything seems cool at first, but, SURPRISE! There’s a gaggle of ghosts in the basement. What follows is a ridiculous haunted house movie with some decent effects and a decent cast (Tony Shaloub, Matthew Lillard, F. Murray Abraham, etc), but also insanely stupid writing. My dad and I watched this movie once together. My sister and I watched it about 20 times in 3 months. They had a special feature on the DVD that was individual stories about each ghost, and we had each one memorized. If you’re looking for a fun time with a bad film, you really can’t go wrong with this one.

8. Bride of Chucky (1998)

This movie is, without a doubt, the beginning of the end for Chucky. Admittedly, all of the Chucky movies are stupid. Yet, this one has something about it. At least, they were smart enough to go with horror-comedy with this one. I was 5 years old when this came out and I fucking loved it.

Chucky is back, baby, and ready to walk down the aisle. Along the way, two teenagers in the same situation get taken hostage by the two dolls, and what follows is a stupid, plot-hole filled, campy mess. But, goddamn, it’s entertaining.

Going back a few years later, it’s clear that I was an idiot as a kid. The whole movie is stupid, but hey, at least it’s funny. That is the one thing it has going for it (well, that and seeing Jennifer Tilly in leather outfits). It gets bonus points for the first Chucky kill, in which Chucky takes out a guy who is, in no way whatsoever, a Marilyn Manson ripoff.

7. Snoop Dogg’s Hood of Horror (2006)

Hey, kids? You like Snoop Dogg? You like Tales From The Crypt? Well, you’ll dig Hood of Horror. This anthology film tells three stories in the Hood of Horror, each one hosted by Da Cribkeeper himself, Snoop D-O-Double G.

Each story has an urban take on common horror movie tropes, which, admittedly, is an interesting concept. It also has a decent cast of “anything for a paycheck” actors like Ernie Hudson, Jason Alexander, and Danny Trejo. However, it is not good. It was released by Xenon Pictures, who I’ve only ever seen one other movie from which was TV: The Movie (from the other Jackass guys that aren’t Johnny Knoxville and Bam Margera), which I absolutely hated. But, something about this one really stuck with me. It’s stupid for sure, but man, it’s a lot of fun.

6. Rob Zombie’s Halloween II: Unrated Director’s Cut (2009)

Once again, I’m going with the Director’s Cut because it is a better film. However, this does not make it good.

As much as I love Rob Zombie’s movies, there’s no denying that the sequel to the 2007 Halloween reimagining is definitely his worst one. He decided to add a lot of symbolism and hidden themes to a slasher film. They are certainly interesting, for sure, and it’s the reason I love it. But, there’s no denying that Rob Zombie cannot write dialogue to save his life. By focusing on the symbolism and less on the brutality that the first one was chock full of, it made the film suffer as a whole and it doesn’t feel like a sequel. If anything, it feels like some kind of weird arthouse version of Michael Myers. However, when the kills finally do happen, they are the standard brutality we have grown to expect from Rob Zombie. Plus, it seems that Rob Zombie shot his symbolism wad with his 2012 film, Lords of Salem. His latest film, 31 (2016), brought us back to brutal sadistic violence that he became known for with his Firefly family movies. Still, it’s worth seeing once.

5. Tusk (2014)

As a Kevin Smith fan, I love this movie. As a movie fan, I can admit that it is terrible.

The film inspired by a phony classified ad was made for a small budget and made less than 2/3 of its budget back at the box office. I saw it at an evening showing, the day it opened, with my wife…..and no one else. Not one single soul was in the theater besides us.

It tells the story of a podcaster who goes up to Canada and gets turned into a walrus by Michael Parks. Need I say more? Add a ridiculous Johnny Depp cameo, and you got a movie. If you don’t listen to any Smodcast network podcasts, you won’t get the movie or any of the inside jokes it contains and you aren’t expected to. You will probably hate the movie, to be honest. But, that’s okay. My wife hated it because she thought it was supposed to be serious. Then, she heard the podcast during the credits and she loved it.

4. Vampire’s Kiss (1987)

Here’s a shocker. There’s a Nic Cage film on this list that isn’t The Wicker Man (2006).

Vampire’s Kiss tells the story of a big shot at a publishing company who has a night with a neck biter and slowly goes insane, believing he is one of the undead. It is an attempt at psychological horror, but it ended up being an unintentional black comedy and it is the performance that should’ve won Cage the oscar.

This movie is campy, overacting gold. Nic Cave doesn’t chew the scenery. He rips it’s heart out, drinks the blood, cooks it up and swallows it whole. The whole movie is just him trying to one up his overacting in the previous scene. It is glorious. The movie is fucking awful, but it is glorious. Buy this movie, now. Don’t hesitate. It’s perfect for a group watch.

3. My Name Is Bruce (2007)

Bruce Campbell is a gift from the heavens. The man saved the world from the Deadite plague, not only in modern times, but in the middle ages. That being said, this movie is beyond B movie status. It was made for 1.5 million, grossed just under 200 grand at the box office, and was doomed from the get go, due to the extremely polarizing fan potential.

Bruce Campbell is recruited by a small town to fight a killer demigod who is threatening their small town utopia. It’s a super meta, super cheesy, fan service comedy horror movie that is by no means a good film.

If you don’t like Bruce Campbell, which makes you a terrorist in my book, you will not like this movie. However, since I view him as the 10th World Wonder, I fucking love this movie. It’s Bruce Campbell. Enough said.

2. Knock Knock (2015)

Keanu Reeves has such a strange film career. This is probably the best example. As much as I love Eli Roth, there’s no denying that this movie is terrible.

A devoted husband and father gets stuck in the fight for his life after he bangs two flight attendants and they decided to kill him. Along the way, we get to see so much overacting that Nic Cage would be so proud.

Keanu Reeves is the reason I love this movie. Specifically, the climax, in which he delivers a monologue in an attempt to defend himself. IT WAS FREE FUCKING PIZZA!

1. Freddy VS Jason (2003)

I fucking love this movie. As a kid, I had the entire NOES collection and had watched all the FT13s multiple times. When this was finally released in my 4th grade year, it was like Christmas. Looking back, yes, it is bad. Really bad. But, man, I love it.

The nu metal soundtrack, the one liners, the clearly-a-Jason Mewes-ripoff stoner character, the stupid fights, the thrown together story. My god, it’s fucking brilliant.

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silvorefrost · 7 years

Text

10o character devolpment stuffs

Part 1: The Basics

(WITH MY OC ENDY WHO IS IN MY ICON)

1. What is your full name?

Edward Moreno Fisbach 2.Where and when were you born?

The end, Mincraftia on August 20th 3. Who are/were your parents? (Know their names, occupations, personalities, etc.)

Well i originaly thought my dad was Erebus Fisbach but i found out my father is really Erebus's brother Morpheus Fisbach.

My mom is Nyx Fisbach 4. Do you have any siblings? What are/were they like?

Biologicaly wise i have my brother Nether and my sis....oh...right shes....more actualy my cousin now....uh...nonno i have my sister portia! im not letting some dumb thing get in my way of calling my sister my sister =3=

then considerd theres my big sibs, dank~! owo their so cool ;;w;;

5. Where do you live now, and with whom? Describe the place and the person/people.

um i basicly live with my boyfreind meme! its a nice medium sized house~! with a nice front yard too~!

and as for meme hes just...so wonderful. he helps me so much even when he has problems of his own....hes as sweet as the cookies he loves to eat~! 6. What is your occupation?

ummm general dragon king of the end 7. Write a full physical description of yourself. You might want to consider factors such as: height, weight, race, hair and eye color, style of dress, and any tattoos, scars, or distinguishing marks.

ugh do i have to? huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhh ok okok

im 6ft 2 with messy black hair and tan skin. i have amethyst color eyes and black birthmarks on my skin. i have 2 purple dragons horns, wings and a tail. i usualy have black clawed hands but sometimes those are hard to work with bleh. um im an enderdragon. um i really just kinda wear anything and my weights kinda in the....200 300 range? im pretty chubby nowadays especialy with lkhslkdhf yeah 8. To which social class do you belong?

i guess.....im rich? i think? i dunno dude im a freakin dragon 9. Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses?

mmmmmmmmmm...i care too much pfft. and uh well physical weakness right now is im pregnant pfft 10. Are you right- or left-handed?

left handed 11. What does your voice sound like?

uhhhh kinda between tenor and base i guess i dunno 12. What words and/or phrases do you use very frequently?

oh dear and i love you 13. What do you have in your pockets?

ummmm my 3ds....my wallet...uhhh....mmm my truck keys. OO! A COOKIE! 14. Do you have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics?

umm i have a habit of saying umm alot obviously and i stutter when im nervous and ill also play with my tail when im nervous.

i also sometimes need to chew on a block of wood

Part 2: Growing Up

15. How would you describe your childhood in general?

shitty

16. What is your earliest memory?

seeing my moms eyes

17. How much schooling have you had?

LMAO 18. Did you enjoy school?

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHHA 19. Where did you learn most of your skills and other abilities?

my mom and my "dad" or shitface mcgee as everyone calls him

20. While growing up, did you have any role models? If so, describe them.

my mom 21. While growing up, how did you get along with the other members of your family?

nether and i....we kinda had a rocky relationship... 22. As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?

free

23. As a child, what were your favorite activities?

i liked looking for gems. when i could sneak away it was so fun~! 24. As a child, what kinds of personality traits did you display?

reckless. courageous. caring. 25. As a child, were you popular? Who were your friends, and what were they like?

............

26. When and with whom was your first kiss?

................................................... 27. Are you a virgin? If not, when and with whom did you lose your virginity?

............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

28. If you are a supernatural being (i.e. mage, werewolf, vampire), tell the story of how you became what you are or first learned of your own abilities. If you are just a normal human, describe any influences in your past that led you to do the things you do today.

dude i was just born this way

Part 3: Past Influences

29. What do you consider the most important event of your life so far?

finaly kicking erebus ass 30. Who has had the most influence on you?

..............

31. What do you consider your greatest achievement?

beating erebus

32. What is your greatest regret?

.............(tears up) 33. What is the most evil thing you have ever done?

(sobbing) 34. Do you have a criminal record of any kind?

(more crying) 35. When was the time you were the most frightened?

.....................st op...... 36. What is the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to you?

(sniffles) um......i ripped my pants once. 37. If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be, and why?

(crys more) 38. What is your best memory?

(still crying) 39. What is your worst memory?

(full on bawling)

Part 4: Beliefs And Opinions-----AFTER 40 MINUTES---

40. Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic?

(wipes face) uhhh i try to be optimistic.... 41. What is your greatest fear?

being alone. 42. What are your religious views?

nothing really. 43. What are your political views?

umm dont really care all i know is that trump guy is bad news and i wanna eat him. 44. What are your views on sex?

(face turns bright purple) uHHHH I-ITS O-OK I G-GUESS LKHLKDHG 45. Are you able to kill? Under what circumstances do you find killing to be acceptable or unacceptable?

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i dont like it unless someoen deserves it 46. In your opinion, what is the most evil thing any human being could do?

.......kill a child..... 47. Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love?

y-yeah! actualy i do. 48. What do you believe makes a successful life?

ummmmm i dont know haha 49. How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings (i.e. do you hide your true self from others, and in what way)?

.................... 50. Do you have any biases or prejudices?

what no that stuffs stupid.

51. Is there anything you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances? Why do you refuse to do it?

kill a child. becuase ive already done enough damage.

52. Who or what, if anything, would you die for (or otherwise go to extremes for)?

meme and everyone else i love. if i had to give my life up for them id do it.

Part 5: Relationships With Others

53. In general, how do you treat others (politely, rudely, by keeping them at a distance, etc.)? Does your treatment of them change depending on how well you know them, and if so, how?

i try to be nice to everyone. 54. Who is the most important person in your life, and why?

uhhh thats meme. well and my kids of course! 55. Who is the person you respect the most, and why?

uh thats a tie between my mom and my big sibs and my other dad sky! my mom well pfttt is my mom and dad well hes just so smart. but my big sibs. well their just so great! their so supportive and theyve been through so much! their so caring their just always there. their just (tears up)...god their so cool.

56. Who are your friends? Do you have a best friend? Describe these people.

oh! ah my freinds are nonny, brynjar, miss loca, uhh dylan...jack....and alot of others! 57. Do you have a spouse or significant other? If so, describe this person.

ah meme. hehe. hes so sweet and supportive and even if hes done something bad he tries his best to make up for it and he tries to learn from his mistake. hes so great. (smiles happily and closes eyes) hes my rainbow watermelon. and ill do anything to help him and keep him safe.

also his chub and eyes are just the best and they make me squeal becuase holy shit

58. Have you ever been in love? If so, describe what happened.

............................

59. What do you look for in a potential lover?

i dont wanna answer this.

60. How close are you to your family?

pretty close! 61. Have you started your own family? If so, describe them. If not, do you want to? Why or why not?

yeah i have 5 kids! one on the way! (rests hand on stomach) about 2 and a half months along. 2 of them are all grown up. aaron and asher. um...then theres kira and nile...their.....currently missing......but um then theres haku! hes techincaly 5. he um was born unsualy so really hes actualy only like 6 months old its a really long story. and then there kiddo number 6... their names going to be dakota. i cant wait to meet them

62. Who would you turn to if you were in desperate need of help?

mom or my big sibs. or nether. or meme. really anyone i care about. my other dad sky, definietly. hes so spportive!

63. Do you trust anyone to protect you? Who, and why?

nether meme and my big sibs honestly. lord have mercy on anyone who goes up against those 3 64. If you died or went missing, who would miss you?

alot of people i guess.

65. Who is the person you despise the most, and why?

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA erebus my uncle 66. Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict?

avoid

67. Do you tend to take on leadership roles in social situations?

im a king i have to 68. Do you like interacting with large groups of people? Why or why not?

not exactly cuz my anxiety acts up but i have to do it anyway 69. Do you care what others think of you?

yes and no its complicated

Part 6: Likes And Dislikes

70. What is/are your favorite hobbies and pastimes?

POKEMON B O I 71. What is your most treasured possession?

a purple seashell and a plushie off myself that meme made me 72. What is your favorite color?

B O I 73. What is your favorite food?

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm bacon

74. What, if anything, do you like to read?

ye! i like to read all sorts of things 75. What is your idea of good entertainment (consider music, movies, art, etc.)?

POK E M O N 76. Do you smoke, drink, or use drugs? If so, why? Do you want to quit?

i did smoke but i had to quit . and why did i do it? it helped with my anixiety 77. How do you spend a typical Saturday night?

watchin gyoutube 78. What makes you laugh?

funny cat videos 79. What, if anything, shocks or offends you?

mm racist and homophobic transphobics assholes 80. What would you do if you had insomnia and had to find something to do to amuse yourself?

pokemon how man times do i have to say it? that or anime 81. How do you deal with streSS?

i dont pfft 82. Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan?

No idea. 83. What are your pet peeves?

i dont know???

Part 7: Self Images And Etc.

84. Describe the routine of a normal day for you. How do you feel when this routine is disrupted?

mm wake up eat watch meme play games nap wake up eat snuggle with meme play video games the sleep and disrupted i dont care

85. What is your greatest strength as a person?

hardheadnes i guess 86. What is your greatest weakness?

alot of things 87. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

everything 88. Are you generally introverted or extroverted?

dont know

89. Are you generally organized or messy?

messy im a damn dragon cmon.

90. Name three things you consider yourself to be very good at, and three things you consider yourself to be very bad at.

good

--------------

taking care of kids, giving snuggles and cooking.

bad

-------------------------

you dont need to know pffttt

91. Do you like yourself?

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAHHHHHAHAHHAHHAHHAHHAHAH no 92. What are your reasons for being an adventurer (or doing the strange and heroic things that RPG characters do)? Are your real reasons for doing this different than the ones you tell people in public? (If so, detail both sets of reasons…)

wut

93. What goal do you most want to accomplish in your lifetime?

i dont know.

94. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

proably living with meme and our child 95. If you could choose, how would you want to die?

drowning.

96. If you knew you were going to die in 24 hours, name three things you would do in the time you had left.

ummmm the first thing i'd do is hard to explain but the second is say all my good byes. and uhh....i dont wanna say the last one.

97. What is the one thing for which you would most like to be remembered after your death?

that i was nice

98. What three words best describe your personality?

loving

depressed

paranoid

99. What three words would others probably use to describe you?

...................... 100. If you could, what advice would you, the player, give to your character

endy plz calm it ok dude

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