#being a single mother of an eccentric theater kid is hard enough | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thedefinitionofbts · 7 years

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Crossroads Hiding the Moon

Pairings: Min Yoongi x Reader | Min Yoongi x OC

Genre: Single Dad!Yoongi, Baby!Taehyung, Angst and Fluff

Words: 8K

Description: As requested by anon: “A single dad! yoongi with a toddler? Like super angst in a way that his wife suddenly left them so he turns cold. But then someone comes into their life and his son started calling her mommy, they try to work it out for the kid. Just when everything's better, the ex wife returns and things get complicated but ends up in fluff.”

A/N: My first request! Omg, I finished this super fast because I got way too excited to do a request lol. Well, I hope you enjoy this anonie :)

Present

If there is anything Min Yoongi hates more than being late for important events, it’s driving through the rain during rush hour. He’s on his way to pick up his four year old son, Taehyung, after a long day in the studio, and maybe if Jungkook was more vocally skilled at execution or if Namjoon wasn’t so nit picky about the lyrics, he wouldn’t feel as emotionally drained while the sun was still up. But no, the overly self-confident main vocalist was too arrogant to take constructive criticism seriously, and the popular boy group’s resident genius was too much of a perfectionist to let one “lackluster” chorus slide. So here he is, sitting in the his car listening to the unrelenting raindrops splatter against his windshield, and waiting for the vehicle in front of him to stop drunkenly swerving into his lane.

Truthfully, Yoongi had been feeling rather uneasy all day. He was reluctant to send Taehyung off to daycare, not knowing if the other children would make fun of the toddler for his second hand clothing that Yoongi barely had the money to afford or his eccentric personality that is often misunderstood. Yoongi’s new job didn’t allow children to run around the studio, and it was his first big break, finally being hired by a company as established in the music industry as BigHit just when rent was due in less than 2 weeks and his bank account had been sucked dry because he insisted on buying that expensive pair of shoes for the toddler’s birthday, even if it meant he had to skip lunch each day for the next month. He had barely been scraping by before his self-composed song was selected as the winner of the online competition BigHit had held for rising producers, and it was like the heaven’s was finally listening to his silent prayers.

It’s still pouring as the traffic continues to move at a snails pace, causing Yoongi to drown in his overly worried mind once again. He was afraid Taehyung would be the last kid picked up, having to watch all the other children leave with their parents causing him to start having thoughts of Yoongi abandoning him, just like his mother did. Yoongi swallows thickly and grips the steering wheel tighter, forcing himself not to think about something he’s been trying to forget for over two years now.

When he arrives at the daycare, Yoongi sees Taehyung sitting alone by the window, shoulder slightly slump and legs that were too short to touch the ground swinging carelessly as he stared at the pellets of water trickling down the glass, blurring the view of the grey world outside. He almost looks like he was deep in thought, and it makes Yoongi wonder if Taehyung’s young mind is actually thinking about something profound or if his head was just filled with his favorite cartoons on replay.

“Ah, Mr. Min! You’re finally here.” The friendly voice of the woman in charge snaps Yoongi out of his thoughts, bringing him back to the task at hand.

Yoongi clears his throat awkwardly. “Yeah, I’m here to pick up Taehyung.”

At the sound of his name, Taehyung’s little head perks up and a boxy smile appears on his face as he turns his head to see his father standing at the doorway. And before Yoongi can call him over, the four year old was already a step ahead and had ran over to jump into his arms.

“Daddy!” He laughs, nuzzling his head into the crook of Yoongi’s neck as the older male lifts him off the ground.

“He’s been waiting for quite a while.” The lady brings up the fact that Yoongi was nearly 45 minutes late, as if it hadn’t been obvious by the room void of children except Tae. She has a smile on her face, so Yoongi assumes she doesn’t say that with ill intent but rather concern for his son who had to watch all the other kids leave with their parents.

“Sorry, Tae, this won’t happen again.” Yoongi apologizes, bouncing the little boy in his arms to get in a more comfortable position.

Taehyung shakes his head. “It’s ok, I knew you’d come.”

Yoongi reaches up and ruffles Taehyung’s fluffy hair, smiling at the little boy because his heart felt too full to describe whatever emotion he was feeling into words. If Yoongi was being really honest, the kid was the only person filling that miserable numbness he wakes up to each morning, the only person that can actually bring out a genuine smile from the depths of his being, even if he has to force himself to ignore the other person that Taehyung reminds him of. He often wonders if Taehyung hides his sadness with a childish front, but maybe that was just Yoongi overthinking again or even an effect of projecting his own mindset on the toddler. On one hand, the kid was only four years old, and yet on the other, he had already gone through so much at such a young age.

Taehyung doesn’t want to get his new shoes wet, and honestly neither does Yoongi because Gucci for kids still cost the rising producer an arm and a leg, so Yoongi offers to carry him on the condition that he holds the umbrella–“because daddy doesn’t have three arms”. And of course Taehyung doesn’t object, and so the two of them walk to Yoongi’s car that is parked a block away because street parking was much cheaper than paying for a spot in the lot.

“Daddy look, that person doesn’t have an umbrella” Yoongi’s head turns in the direction that Taehyung’s stubby finger is pointed, and low and behold he see’s you using your wallet sized purse to cover your head in a feeble attempt to remain somewhat dry as you ran towards them waiting for the light to turn green at the crosswalk.

Yoongi stands still, head positioned straight, and gaze fixed at the passing cars on the street as you reached the spot where he was standing with Taehyung, pretending like there wasn’t someone being drenched in the rain while he remained sheltered under an umbrella large enough to fit an entire family.

“Aww, you’re so sweet, thank you.” Your comment makes Yoongi’s jerk his head around and realize just what had happened. Unbeknownst to him, Taehyung had moved the umbrella in a way so that it covered your head as well, and now the three of you were in a situation Yoongi would rather not have to address at a time like this.

“You’re pretty” Taehyung says, giggling a little as he continued to look at your with wide eyes and an impossibly friendly smile.

“Tae” Yoongi mildly scolds, wondering what had gotten into his son, questioning why in the world Taehyung would take part in such an unusual act of kindness towards a stranger on the street, and it wasn’t until Yoongi’s eyes meet directly with yours that the answer to that very question became as obvious as day.

You were almost a mirror image of her.

…

Past

When he was younger, Min Yoongi was a big fan of love that was like summer rain. The kind that hits you suddenly and bursts out of your soul like the scent of earthly elements coming back to life, filling the atmosphere when a seemingly never-ending drought finally comes to an end. Blame his artistic mind and tendency to describe emotion through song, a habit of his that manifested as an interest for the arts when he was young and caused him to spend most of his time listening to music rather than playing with other kids outside. And it was precisely for that reason that Min Yoongi knew he wanted to be a composer from the moment he entered college, opting to major in music the second he got the chance to meet with his university counselor.

He didn’t care what his parents thought of it, didn’t heed the advice from his older successful businessman brother-who was always the favorite in the family-about the risks of trying to make it big in the turbulent music industry. Yoongi was a big believer in passion being the key to success, of course not without hard work and discipline, which was why he found himself in the music theater, practicing classical pieces on the grand piano without an audience, every single day of the year. Because not only was it a place he came to associate with the undying love he harbored for music and the optimistic hope he had for the future, it was also where he met Kim Chaewon for the very first time.

“You’re Min Yoongi, right?”

The silvery voice floats over to Yoongi’s ear, cutting through the musical piece he had been so thoroughly absorbed in. It was almost too cliché because Chaewon exhibited a kind of beauty that made his jaw drop the moment he lifted his gaze off the black and white keys and spotted her walking down the steps to the empty stage. Even though the performance hall was only half lit, her skin still managed to glow smoothly under the dim artificial lighting, and her eyes were large and puppy-like, kind and gentle, like warm spring zephyr.

“Yeah, I am.” Yoongi answers, eyes still fixed on the girl who is smiling at him like winter snow had just melted away after months of turning to decaying slush.

“The one the professor kept raving about in class today, right?”

“Oh, that was…” Yoongi scratches the back of his neck, reminded of how embarrassing it was for the music professor to brag about his project on sound layering. He didn’t like being the center of attention and had sunk lower in the seat when the man had mentioned his name, not that anyone could put a face to his name, or so he thought.

She giggles, light and airy, making Yoongi flush because he’s never met anyone who’s shown genuine interest in his novice work, well except for said professor who keeps praising him in front of the class.

“I forgot to mention, I’m Chaewon. You probably don’t me, but I’ve secretly been listening to you play for quite a while now and just summed up the guts to talk to you today.” Her gaze drops shyly, waiting for Yoongi to respond to her confession.

Yoongi’s at lost for words, not knowing how to respond to such a statement, especially when she’s making his heart beat a mile a minute. At the very least he’s poised enough to thank her for being a fan, which sounded really dumb stuttering out of his nervous mouth but manages to make her laugh, so it wasn’t all in vain he supposes.

Yoongi never thought about how it would feel to actually have someone support his dreams, he wasn’t looking for that kind of reassurance because he was used to being looked down upon. He was used to chasing after something that was unimaginably far away, one that makes him feel like he was running in place every day and that tomorrow would never truly arrive. It never really bothered him because his passion for music stayed true, and he was always confident that he would never stray from that path that would take him closer towards his dream, but Kim Chaewon came to him like summer rain. She was the first person to sincerely believe in him, and she did it when no one else bothered to give his music a chance, when the rest of the world was against his humble beginnings and rejected the potential of an underdog making it to the top.

“You’re going to be an amazing songwriter and producer one day.” Chaewon says to Yoongi as they walk under the cascading cherry blossoms on a warm April afternoon. The sun was warmer than normal today, and the scenery was hazy like an actual dream, only it was actually real and closer than anything else in Yoongi’s life at the time.

“I really hope so.” Yoongi sighs, reminded of all the obstacles that lie on the road ahead.

“I know you will because you’re Min Yoongi and the world deserves to be graced by your unparalleled art.”

Kim Chaewon was ethereal, because not only was her outer appearance angelic and otherworldly, her personality was just as lovely as Yoongi eventually learned over the years. And although Yoongi knew from the moment their minds clicked like that of soulmates that she was the one, it was because she stuck with him through the all-time lows, those periods when he lost the magic touch and would he hit a slump that barred him from coming up with anything good for months, that led Yoongi to love Chaewon more than that satisfying feeling of finally completing a song that conveyed exactly what he intended, more than the way rain cascades like diamond tears from the sky and ends in a passing sun shower that gives birth to a rainbow, and more than everything he thought was meaningful in life before she lit up his world.

Their love was a crystal clear story, one that wasn’t supposed to end.

…

Present

Grocery shopping is always a pain, and not entirely due to the fact that Yoongi was literally broke, but because he had to take time to consider healthy options for his growing boy. If it was just him, he would be fine shoving cheap junk down his esophagus or surviving on minimal food for most of the month, but because of Taehyung, he was forced to actually prepare meals with vegetables and make sure Tae always has his daily serving of fruits, which entailed a trip to the grocery store every weekend.

Luckily Taehyung isn’t all that picky for a four year old, but he was addicted to coke and Yoongi can do nothing but blame himself for allowing the kid to get his hands on the addictive soft drink. In his defense, he didn’t think one sip could have such a dramatic effect, but boy was he wrong.

“Coke!” Taehyung shouts, finger pointing at the 2-liter bottles of black liquid with their signature red label, lined on the shelves. His eyes were opened wide and sparkling like he just saw his first love.

“Not today, Tae” Yoongi mutters, ignoring the boy’s disappointed pout and quickly pushing the shopping cart past the soda section and heading straight towards the breakfast cereals and oatmeal.

He’s trying to decide if cereal is healthy or not. He’s heard of most types being just pure sugar, but there has to be some vitamins hidden in there, right? It was convenient that’s for sure, and Yoongi was definitely a fan of anything that required minimal preparation from box to mouth. Especially in the mornings when he would feel most groggy and not have any motivation to even think about food.

“Hi!” Yoongi hears Taehyung shout at someone walking down the isle, and at first he suspects it’s just some random person that caught his son’s attention, but as he tears his gaze away from the nutrition information printed on the cereal box, he sees someone who makes him do a double take.

The world was definitely fucking with him.

“Hey there little fella, so we meet again.” You smile at the little boy who shared his umbrella with you the other day, reaching over and patting his head as he sat in the shopping cart.

“I’m Y/N by the way, sorry I didn’t have the chance to introduce myself the other day.” You wait for the father of the little boy to look up at you.

“Min Yoongi” He responds, still avoiding eye contact.

“I see you’re taking good care of him” You hint at the box of cheerios that Yoongi was scrutinizing.

“I try” He exhales, throwing the box into the cart and preparing to walk off.

You trail after them, wanting to help out in some way because they had been so kind to you on that rainy day and the kid was the cutest little bun you had ever seen.

“Almond milk would be a good option to pair with that.” You suggest. “Calcium for strong bones.” Your voice is light and optimistic, a tone that Yoongi isn’t so happy to be met with because he’s used to being left alone and ignored.

“Are you some sort of expert?” Yoongi scoffs, mildly annoyed at the fact that you’re clearly not going away, but it’s not like he can just voice that directly.

“I’m not a certified nutritionist, but I know a few things.” You grin, flashing Yoongi a knowing look before taking them down each isle and explaining what foods are healthy as well as easy to prepare. “My sister has a son about the same age as yours, and I babysit for her the time.” You explain, trying to lighten the mood.

He’s more than reluctant at first, face remaining as stoic as ever, but Yoongi hates grocery shopping and he’s too tired to keep reading lists of nutrition information and trying to decipher the hoard of long words he doesn’t even know. So he looks at you momentarily before nodding and diverting his eyes, praying that this’ll be a one-time thing and that it ends as soon as he checks out of the store.

He didn’t welcome your friendly attitude towards him because he didn’t need another person in his life to smile at him like everything was ok, like there’s another chance for him to be happy again and have the courage to trust emotions he doesn’t think are real anymore. Not when you’re standing in front of him looking more breathtaking than anyone he’s seen in years, not when you give off such a soothing and caring aura that Yoongi wishes he hadn’t noticed, and certainly not when you remind him so much of the person he still loves no matter how hard he tries to forget.

It’s pathetic, but Yoongi wants to avoid complicated shit like the plague. He doesn’t need another love story that’ll ripe his heart into tiny pieces and leave him slowly bleeding out on an empty street. He doesn’t need light that makes him believe in lies that disguise themselves as promises, and he doesn’t want to open wounds that have not and will most certainly never heal, because he knows if history repeats itself, he won’t come out of it alive the second time.

“You need help with that?” You offer, gesturing to the arm full of plastic bags Yoongi was holding as the three of you walk out of the store.

“No” He says, detached and not even bothering to spare you a glance.

Yoongi feels Taehyung tug on his pant leg, and he knows exactly what the little boy wants.

“Daddy can’t carry you now, you have to walk like a big boy.”

Taehyung whimpers, a noise that makes the hair on Yoongi’s neck stand up because he knows what’s coming next. And Yoongi curses in his head because you were still walking next to them, which Yoongi is starting to question why you hadn’t left yet because he doesn’t want you to witness what his son’s about to do next.

Taehyung starts wailing, loudly. And it sounds so sad anyone who heard his cries would think his dog had just died or something because no four year old should be able to convey emotions so depressing with just ugly sobbing over something as trivial as having to walk when he wants to be carried, but Tae manages to excel in that area and Yoongi swears the kid could grow up to be an amazing actor-but that’s besides the point right now. The sound echoes throughout the neighborhood, ricocheting off the walls of the houses lining the streets, causing passerbys to cover their ears in annoyance and Yoongi’s face to flush hotly from the growing embarrassment.

“Tae” Yoongi scolds through gritted teeth, but his harsh attitude on makes the boy cry even more. Yoongi closes his eyes and curses again, but just as he was about to bend over and attempt to lift the boy up with seven shopping bags in hand, you’ve already beat him to the catch.

“Awww, don’t cry sweetie, I’ll carry you” You’ve already lifted the toddler up into your arms, wiping his tear stained cheeks with a handkerchief from your purse. “It’s tiring to walk isn’t it?”

Taehyung nods and looks at you with puffy red eyes, but just as soon as you beam at him, his boxy smiles makes a return and it was as if he hadn’t just been bawling just a minute ago.

Yoongi sighs, making a mental note that he needs to stop spoiling Taehyung before the kid starts thinking he can always get his way.

“Don’t you have better things to do?” The question slips out of Yoongi’s mouth after another fifteen minutes of walking, but he regrets it immediately because the pregnant pause that follows starts to suffocate him and he doesn’t even have the guts to look at the flustered expression on your face.

“I-I, ummm”

Yoongi almost regrets calling you out the way he did. He wasn’t purposefully trying to make you feel uncomfortable, but his query was valid. Why were you following them home?

“I know this probably sounds crazy, but I live in the same apartment complex as you. I’ve seen the two of you around, but I-I guess I probably shouldn’t have assumed you knew me since I’ve never officially introduced myself before.”

Yoongi doesn’t know what to think. He’s now certain that the world was fucking with him because this is definitely fate throwing him some kind of curve ball that he can’t escape, or maybe it’s more like a boomerang that’s aimed towards his head.

He clears his throat. “Oh”

That’s all he says in response to your explanation. He doesn’t address the issue further, not when the rest of the walk remains shrouded in silence or when the tension between you and him is skyrocketing through the roof as Yoongi struggles with the door to the apartment complex and is unwilling to ask you to help him, only to grunt a muffled thanks when you rush to his aid with his son still in your arms, and not even when you put Taehyung back on the ground and wave good-bye to the toddler as you exit the elevator on the fifth floor.

…

Past

Chaewon informs Yoongi that she’s missed her period, and normally this wouldn’t alarm her if it weren’t for the added tenderness in her breasts and weird food cravings that she hasn’t experienced until recently or the fact that she and Yoongi had just made love for the first time right after the both of them successfully graduated from university. He had suggested using protection on that night, but Chaewon didn’t think anything unexpected would happen from one time.

Evidently, she was wrong.

“Yoongi, I’m pregnant.” Chaewon holds the pregnancy test up so Yoongi can examine the double lines that have appeared. There’s no joy in her face, no disappointment either, but rather a subtle hint of fear tainting her formerly cheerful eyes.

They weren’t married, and they didn’t have stable jobs or their lives put together. In such a situation, who wouldn’t be terrified to see those two tiny markings on such a life-altering day? Chaewon is thinking about what she’s going to say to her parents, running through all the options they have when it comes to dealing with this, and praying that maybe the test was wrong and that she was only experiencing such symptoms because of stress or a hormonal imbalance not due to the zygote now latched on to her uterine wall.

“Chaewon…” Yoongi gasps, rushing over and embracing her as if he had just been gifted all the stars in the universe, embracing the feeling of excitement mixed with apprehension saturating his senses like it was the most beautiful moment in his life.

“What do we do?” She utters, so softly Yoongi has to lean down and caress her cheek, lifting her chin so he can gaze sincerely into her eyes with the utmost resolve.

“We’ll welcome our beautiful child into this world.”

…

Present

“Yoongi!”

Ok, so now Yoongi is convinced that you’re just a stalker. Like how? He had just walked out of the apartment to take a walk and clear his head after getting Taehyung to take a nap. And just as he was running through all of these album concepts in his head, you happened to spot him strolling along the sidewalk towards the park next to the apartment complex.

Yoongi’s ready to sigh wearily as he sees you walk up to him.

“I was just about to ask if you wanted to have Taehyung meet my sister’s son, Park Jimin. I’m going to babysitting him all next week and if you’re busy with work and stuff, you can drop him off at my apartment.” You smile, waiting for some kind of response from Yoongi. He was so hard to read you begin to wonder if he’s just like that because of his natural personality or if he really didn’t want to see you because there was no sign of elation or even pretend politeness on his face.

“Sure.” Yoongi doesn’t think things through before answering, and he mentally scolds himself for not considering the aftermath of taking you up on your offer, because now he’s officially caught in a relationship more intimate that he promised he would ever allow himself to be with another person. Fuck.

But the thought of not having to rush out of the BigHit building and picking Taehyung up after daycare was just too tempting, and better yet, he didn’t even have to get up an hour early to drop Taehyung off at daycare because you literally lived two floors down, and Taehyung like you for reasons Yoongi is choosing to ignore at this point because that would just twist things up more than they already are.

“Great! I guess I’ll see you Monday then!” You chirp, waving and heading back to the apartment.

…

Taehyung and Jimin get along better than two peas in a pod. Any outsider would assume they had been friends for years or were brothers from another mother. They are in fact the exact same age, give or take a month or two, and they surprisingly shared more interests than Yoongi could’ve predicted.

“How was your day?” You ask as Yoongi enters your apartment to pick up his son.

“Nothing too special.” Yoongi has a minor flashback of Jungkook stuffing a pair of chopsticks up his nose and trying to sing. It was not pretty, but it made him laugh, which is quite a difficult feat so he let it slide.

“If you don’t mind me asking, where do you work?”

“BigHit Entertainment.”

“Whoa, you produce music for Beyond the Scene?” Your eyes widen. “Their music is always topping the charts!”

“I just started, so no, none of my songs have been chart toppers quite yet.”

“But still, you have to be good if they hired you.”

“I guess” He shrugs.

“I’m a huge fan of them.” You admit, face flushing a little. “I’ve been following them since debut.”

“They do have a lot of fans.” Yoongi comments. He looks around the room, rubbing his hands together and trying to figure out a way to thank you for taking care of Taehyung all day and leaving without it seeming like he was taking advantage of your services and didn’t give a fuck about camaraderie.

“So…uh-”

Yoongi isn’t allowed to finish his attempt at more small talk before Taehyung interrupts him. “Mommy, will Jimin come back tomorrow?” Taehyung’s little head momentarily turns away from the toys splayed out on the floor and looks at you and Yoongi sitting on the couch in the living room.

You’re surprised by the four year old’s choice of words because Taehying hadn’t called you by any name other than your own all day. You’re immediate reaction is of shock, but endearment soon replaces that initial astonishment as he beams at you like a blooming flower.

Yoongi grits his teeth, body stiffening at the sound of his son voicing those syllables to a woman that is not Kim Chaewon. He feels irritated, balling his hands into fists as he tries not to drown in this pool of opposing collisions that is making his head spin. She left. But she’s his real mom. She left. But I love her.

“You’re disgusting” He spits out, getting up from the couch.

“W-what?” You utter, shaking your head and trying to digest the situation.

“I trusted you and you brainwashed him. I knew you were a monster.” Yoongi walks over in a fit of rage and grabs Taehyung’s arm forcefully, dragging the kid out of your apartment before you’re brain could even register what was going on.

Yoongi doesn’t think twice about clearing things up. There’s nothing to clear up, it was obvious you had eyes for Taehyung, and you were this creepy woman taking advantage of a little boy who’s mother you resembled so uncannily.

“Daddy, what’s wrong?” Taehyung asks the moment Yoongi slams the door.

“Tae, that lady is not your mother.”

“I know,” He answers matter-of-factly. “But she’s nice and she takes care of me, and I really like her.” His bottom lip quivers as he looks at Yoongi with puppy-eyes, wondering why his father was so angry.

It’s not surprising that Taehyung doesn’t remember his real mother. Yoongi doesn't even know if the boy is even aware of what a mother is, what a mother should do, or even what a mother even represents because he’s never been brave enough to address the events that happened when his son was barely old enough to talk. He was convinced that it would go unnoticed; that Taehyung wouldn’t think his small family of two was strange or different from the societal norm. How fucking stupid for him to think that. Like the boy wouldn’t grow up to notice everyone else had two parents when he was only left with one, or he wouldn’t wonder why other children would call one of their parents “mommy” and the other one “daddy”. Or why Yoongi couldn’t look him in the eyes and tell him how he came into this world.

He’s a fool to think everything would just magically go away, and he would never have to face his problems head on.

…

Past

“You supported my dreams back then! What? Have you changed your mind because I’m not as successful as you had hoped???” Yoongi accuses, trying to keep his voice low so he wouldn’t wake up the baby sleeping in the next room. He was angry with himself more than anything, but Chaewon’s words had hit his most vulnerable spots for weeks now and he couldn’t hold it in any longer.

“That’s when I thought you were actually going to do something with your life!”

“I am” Yoongi cries, desperately trying to stop this from turning into another full blown argument.

But Chaewon’s harsh words don’t impede. “My parents kicked me out of the house, and now you can’t even keep a roof over my head! How do you expect me to live the rest of my life like this?!”

“Chaewon” Yoongi begs, gripping onto her arm as if she was his lifeline. “I’m trying, I really am… please…” Yoongi is about to get down on his knees because he can’t let her throw him away like a piece of trash. She was the only person he had, and the past few months have been hell with him being stuck in the longest artistic slump he’s ever hit and Chaewon attempting to get any part-time job she can while still taking care of the baby after her long shifts. Yoongi knows it’s all his fault, and he knows Kim Chaewon deserves a better life, and that he has no one to blame but himself for dragging the love of his life down into this misfortunate hellhole with him because he was selfish and didn’t want to let her go.

“I was an idiot to believe an loser like you.”

And then she’s gone, leaving Yoongi in a place darker than hell.

…

Present

Yoongi doesn’t know why he’s standing outside your door, hesitating to knock and mulling over whether or not he should just run back to the elevator and pretend you never existed and hope that Taehyung forgets about you too, but his conscience is eating him alive, and his son obviously won’t let it go.

“Why can’t I go over to Y/N’s house?”

“Why can’t I play with Jimin anymore?”

“Why are you sad?”

It took him two days to weigh out his options, finally deciding that apologizing to you was easier than having to make up stupid answers for that endless string of questions that keep pouring out of Taehyung’s mouth like a faucet he can’t turn off and then constantly justifying them to not only the toddler but also to himself.

Yoongi takes a deep breath, pinches his nose bridge and lifts a finger to ring the doorbell.

“Y-Yoongi?”

“Y/N, uh, hi, ummm, so about those things I said the other day...” Yoongi takes another deep breath as you stare at him, waiting for him to finish. “I’m sorry. I overreacted.”

“It’s ok” You gently reply. “I’d react the same way if my kid did that.”

Yoongi finally has the guts to lift his eyes to trace over your calm features, and he feels like he’s foreign territory because for the first time he sees you for you and not someone else. “Do you mind if I come in?” What the hell was he saying? It’s like someone else was controlling his mouth.

“Of course.” You open the door wider, moving out of the way so the weary looking male can enter.

“She left us.” Yoongi says as you offer him a cup of freshly brewed tea. He doesn’t know why he’s being so open to you. He’s barely ever even been honest to himself, but he’s starting to convince himself that he’s willing to try sorting out a past he can’t hide from any longer because sooner or later, it’s bound to come back with a vengeance. “It was my fault for not providing her the life she deserved.”

“Min Taehyung’s mother?”

“Kim” Yoongi swallows. “Kim Taehyung.”

And maybe it’s also because you mysteriously make his exhausted heart feel like it had found light once again, beating with a kind of fervor that he was convinced had left forever.

“I can tell you loved her very much.” You whisper.

“With all my heart.”

“I’m sorry.” The words sound generic, and you honestly don’t know what else to say. You didn’t have all the details and you barely knew the man, but the shadow covering his eyes is something you desperately want to help him get rid of, and even if you can’t, you at least want to try.

…

When Yoongi’s first song for Beyond the Scene is finished and their album is finally released, BigHit decides to hold a showcase to promote their new concept, which also happens to be their transition into the next era.

“You got me tickets!?” You exclaim, eyes glittering at the yellow slip pinched between Yoongi’s fingers.

“You said you were a fan.” He shrugs.

You wrap your arms around him before your rational mind can weigh out the effects of such an action. You were clearly too excited to thank him in any other way, and you didn’t think he was the kind to oppose physical contact, that is, until you feel his body tense under your embrace. He doesn’t reciprocate the action and you suspect you’ve taken it too far too soon.

You slowly start unravel your arms. “S-sorry” But before you can take a step back; Yoongi grabs your arm and pulls you back into a tight hug.

“Why?” He smiles, patting you on the back and making you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

He even starts inviting you over for dinner on nights he was motivated enough to cook a special meal for Taehyung, claiming to “not want to have to deal with too many leftovers”. But you kind of knew he purposefully prepared a meal for three, because he always made three of everything, no more, no less.

“So who’s your favorite member?” He asks, picking up a piece of beef and putting it into Taehyung’s steaming rice bowl.

“Of Beyond the Scene?” Hm...” You ponder over the difficult answer. “I know there are only four of them, but this is the hardest question I’ve ever been asked.”

Yoongi chuckles. “They're not even similar. Why is it so hard?”

“Well, they’re all super talented and good looking!” You defend. “And each of them adds something new to the table.”

“True” He nods. “But if you knew what they were really like…”

“I know they’re complete dorks.” You roll your eyes.

“Oh yeah, I almost forgot about the million videos they’ve put up online of them doing nothing but messing around. Sometimes I question why they have so many fans.”

“It’s partially because of their music, and the fact that they’re so real.” You explain. “But back to your question, I think my bias has to be Hoseok. He’s literally a ball of sunshine. Or maybe Namjoon because he’s so smart.”

“Hoseok and Namjoon?” Yoongi cocks a brow. “I would’ve taken you to be more of a Seokjin fan.”

“Why’s that?”

“His face is attractive?” Yoongi makes an I-don’t-know gesture.

You shake your head. “Who’s your favorite then?”

“Jungkook” Yoongi replies. “I didn’t like him at first, but I’ve grown used to his playful antics.”

“That youngest? You clearly have a soft spot for the young ones.” You laugh, peering over at Taehyung who had no idea what you guys were talking about.

…

On the day of the showcase, you’re more anxious than you’ve ever been. Out of all the years you been a fan, you never imagined you would one day come across the opportunity to see your favorite idols live. It was the most amazing feeling ever, and it was all thanks to Min Yoongi.

The songs they performed were amazing, and although it was different from their usual sound, you could somehow tell Yoongi was the mastermind behind all of the pieces. There was just something about the emotions conveyed by the beat and lyrics that spoke to you on a deeper level than any of their previous songs. Maybe it was because you had caught a glimpse of the man behind the music on a personal level beforehand or maybe he was just a skilled enough artist to create such beautiful tunes.

“Daddy, I need to pee” Taehyung whines as the third song ends and the members had stopped to introduce themselves one by one.

“Ok, we’ll find you a bathroom.” Yoongi responds. He turns to you. “I’ll be right back.

You nod, eyes still fixed on the four idols on stage.

The quiet that hits Yoongi is a striking contrast to the raucous arena, as the large doors slam shut. He’s casually looking around to find a bathroom when his gaze lands on someone that makes his heart skip several beats. This can’t be real.

And Yoongi thinks it might be his imagination because there’s no way Kim Chaewon was standing ten feet in front of him just as he exits the auditorium with Taehyung following closely behind. His body freezes up, and his throat is constricting to the point where he can’t tell if he’s still breathing.

“Yoongi”

The voice is just as familiar as it sounded two years ago.

“Chaewon?”

“Congratulations on all of this” She gestures at the crowd of screaming fangirls and flashing stage lights across the heavy metal doors.

“H-How did you…? W-Why…?” He can’t even form a coherent question because his brain had stopped functioning normally.

“I can recognize your music from anywhere.” She says, flashing Yoongi a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes.

Yoongi can feel Taehyung’s grip on the hem of his pant leg as he hides behind his father, looking at the women curiously. “I don’t doubt that, but…”

“Is that…?” She ignores his state of shock and bends over to wave at Taehyung. “Tae!” She beams.

“H-Hi” The little boy responds shyly, clearly not recognizing the women the way she expected him to.

“He’s grown up so well” She sighs, straightening up once again. “If you’re not busy, would you like to grab a cup of coffee with me? So we can, I don’t know, chat?”

Yoongi hesitates. He wants to reject her offer because he knows you’re still waiting for him in the crowd, but he can’t get himself to say no, not when he clearly still has feelings for the woman who left him years ago and is now suddenly back within reach.

…

“She came back.” Yoongi says. “I’m sorry I left without telling you.”

“Oh, Chaewon, right?” You swallow, trying not to make things awkward between the two of you. “It’s totally fine. She must’ve been really happy to see you and Tae.”

Yoongi nods, eyes still trained at the ground. He was standing outside your doorway late at night, wanting to make sure you got home safely after he had left the showcase so unexpectedly.

“Hey, no hard feelings.” You console him, despite your own voice cracking ever so slightly. You had waited for him for hours after the showcase, but he didn’t need to know that.

“You didn’t wait for me for too long did you?”

4 hours.

“No, of course not.” You pretend to make it sound absurd, shaking your head and waving it off like it was no big deal. “I figured something must have come up.”

Yoongi nods.

“So umm, good-night?” You speak after a long drawn out silence.

“Yeah. Good-night.”

…

Yoongi can’t fall asleep that night, and it’s not because he’s thinking about Kim Chaewon coming back into his life and throwing him in complicated shit again, surprisingly, he’s more concerned about you and what you are to him, because he already knows what Chaewon is, more or less. But you on the other hand, you were still shrouded in a misty veil, one created by life’s endless intersections and obstacles. And the universe wasn’t going to give him a break anytime soon, but maybe that’s exactly what he needed to find the right path.

His thoughts flash back to what Chaewon had said to him at the coffee shop.

“We do stupid things when we’re young, but that doesn’t mean what we had wasn’t love.”

Yoongi stares off into the distance, not knowing why her words were not affecting him the way he expected them to.

“Keyword, had”

“Yoongi, I made a mistake. I still have feelings for you, and I know you do too because otherwise you wouldn’t be here right now.”

He nods slowly, absorbing the honeyed words that were seeping out of the woman’s mouth, and making him really consider the exact thing she was saying.

It was nothing short of the truth, he loved Kim Chaewon and undoubtedly still does. But he has always loved her because he thought she loved him for him, plain and unadorned, when in reality, she was always more in love with his music than anything. And don’t get him wrong, he knows that anyone who has the capacity to love and appreciate his music has to have that special connection with his innermost self, but that holds true for any fan and the musician they look up to. And it took the event of her coming back after he had finally found success to make him realize she was only a crossroad and not the moon itself. Because what happens when Yoongi stops composing one day, what will transpire when he’s too old to produce songs and create the art that she loved him for, will she leave again?

Yoongi’s not about to find out.

…

You don’t see Yoongi for a couple of days, and you knew exactly why. It didn’t make you feel any better knowing the reason, but there was that annoying nagging feeling tugging at your heart that you’ve convinced yourself isn’t categorized as jealously, disappointment, or longing. Stop being absurd.

Yoongi is not yours, he never was and never will be. Was it really that hard to accept the fact that he couldn’t fall in love with you when he was still in love with another woman? Yes. No. Does it make it any more justifiable that he maybe would’ve given you a chance had that woman no returned? Yes. No.

“Wake up, Y/N.” You mutter to yourself as you take the elevator down to grab a package that had arrived.

“Looks like I beat you to the chase.” The familiar voice startles you, almost causing you to drop the house keys your were twirling in your fingers.

“Oh, Yoongi” You gasp, clutching your chest like he almost gave you a heart attack.

“I was just about to look for you.” He bites his lower lip, preparing to say something he’s been running through in his head for the past few days.

“Is something wrong?”

“Life is full of crossroads...” Yoongi swallows, wanting to make this whole speech poetic, but he’s too nervous to function for reasons he’s fully aware of but does not have control over. He hasn’t confessed to anyone in a long time, and even then, he’s only every done it once in his life, to that other woman he’s slowly started to place in another section of his heart to make room center stage for you. “Ah, fuck it.” He mutters. “I’ve made mistakes in the past because I used to be the kind of person to be consumed by people the same way I’m consumed by my passions. I tend to place people on the wrong pedestal, and I have a hard time letting go of first loves. But if you are willing, I want to try for us, because I think I’ve finally found the moon after passing many crossroads.”

There’s a long pause because your mind is blank and your heart is racing. You continue to stare at the man standing awkwardly in front of you, gripping onto the box that had just been delivered as if he was the mail carrier, and you don’t think anything can be more endearing than this.

“But umm, if you’re not down, it’s totally ok too. I know this is strange and sudden, and I’m totally just freaking you out right now because. Aw, fuck.” Yoongi’s eyes squeeze close and he tilts his head up.

Scratch that. Said man all choked up as he’s trying to confess despite his debilitating nerves is something even more endearing.

“I’m totally down.” You respond, trying to hold in a laugh as you take the box away from him. “So I’m your moon? Is this going to be Beyond the Scene’s next album concept? Or did you just run out of real ideas.” You playfully nudge him in the arm.

Yoongi smiles, gummy and jubilant, and the universe shimmering within his eyes at that moment is, without a doubt, even more breathtaking than his music.

...

#bts fanfic #bangtan bookclub #btswriters #sfwbangtan #armiesnet #bts scenarios #yoongi scenarios #yoongi fanfic #bts angst #bts fluff #i hope this is okay!#or at least close to what you had in mind #truthfully i suck at love triangles lol #thank you for the request!#requested

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