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twdgs · 2 years

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tell me uour thoughts on dp117 let rhe autism flow

YEAS okay so like to start, theres something to be said about how the tpci dub is weird w the trios relationship w eachother in like dp and ag

and specifically james and meowth towards jessie, intentionally putting conflict where there wasn’t necessarily any in the original, yknow yknow but thats always kinda been a thing.

like ok so them as a group are very different people obviously and they have different desires, usually the source for their temporary breakups see: meowth having his ideals tempted by christophers job offer, jessie tempted by her contest career, and james just . wanting things to be the same.

STARTING W JESSIE HERE BC we know she has low impulsivity kcontrol and she just kinda burns her own path no matter what, the gravity of the situation probably not even crossing her mind. she’s still in her own way kinda kind about it even though the actions were insensitive, w telling james to let meowth go, if thats what he wants. THE THREE TRY TO TRUST EACHOTHER SO MUCH that exact scenario happens multiple times, they respect the their teammates so completely that they would let them go if that was what the other wanted. maybe she believed that he wanted something else, elsewhere, the comment about like hey maybe you can go back to your home from jessie isnt very sensitive and its obviously not what James wants, but their individual needs for their own desires cloud their judgement and whatnot…

the thing that gets me about this episode is that james is just desperately trying to ignore the fact that he’s SUPER FUCKING UPSET, just trying to convince themself that he doesnt need the others to be the best a rocket agent can be when yknow. gestures. bozo

i think he just feels like he has nothing else to lose. feels like he lost his friends since god knows and teammates all in one breath, so whats it to try and stick it to em just this once and climb the metaphorical ladders without them? makes me insane bc GRHRGHHHRHHHRH he doesnt even actually think that. of course he doesnt wanna do any of it without the others, but one has to put one foot in front of the other to get through life or whatever… does it out of the guise of proving a point and almost fucking dies bc of it

and of course none of them know entirely how to deal with feelings that cant be squashed, the lingering dread of being alone, because that is one issue the three of them definitely share. they’re just deathly afraid of being alone even if its hidden under several layers of denial and anger and spite and whatever else.

THEY MISS EACHOTHER THEY MISS SHARING FOOD WITH EACHOTHER AND EXISTING WITHIN THEMSELVES AND THEY LIKE DOING IT !!!!!!! THE GRIND IS MANAGEABLE WHEN YOU HAVE PALS TO DO IT WITH!!!!!!!!! it just kills me, meowth specifically has that soft spot and its pretty deep rooted. and his doubts show up very early on, THIS FUCKING CAT MISSES HIS FRIENDS but he’s still mad at them and feels like he also has to prove something. him in particular it affects the quickest, insecurity and loneliness is just as deep rooted in him as it is in jessie, he’s just more open about it than her.

i know i havent even gotten to the obvious yet but UEGAHHHHHHHHHH!!.

and yknow the other two fucking drop it all in barely a heartbeat when they find out what james is doing. whatever they do they do as a team, even if it’s ridiculously stupid. especially if its ridiculously stupid actually

and james gets all teary eyed and sappy about it even through originally wanting to go it alone out of anger………. i cant even parse it this episode is brain melting THEY FUCK8NG PROMISE TO MEET EACHOTHER IN THE AFTERLIFE .. they sincerely believe they are about to die and jessie decides her last words would be to promise they’ll still find eachother in the lifetimes that follow. WHAT THE FUCK. WHTA THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ITS SO MUCH FOR A POKEMON EPISODE. ITS SO MUCH. its so . its not even necessarily a romantic thing but its so . you know that they mean it no matter the context…..

if one rocket dies the others do too. how poetic, surprisingly in character actually. everything these three do they do it together , when meowth comes back and inevitably saves them and they hug ndn ouhhhggghh…………………… you cant look at me and tell me they dont love eachother so fucking much. they’re literally friends…,how insane is that……. love does exist……………..

#ask #long post #anudda day anudda essay #sniffles and sobs and wails so loud i cant describe how emo this episode makes me no matter how imperfect they are #yhey find ways to forgive eachother and still decide to love every day ………………………………………..l.#hwhahhh #its cool. wuv this episode so much

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sasoriapologist · 3 years

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I'll bite. Tell me about your s/i!

OKAY SO THIS TOOK ME A FEW DAYS TO ANSWER SORRY FJGKGMF it’s bc i started writing a full entire story right here but it was just too much to unpack all at once so the general tldr rundown is her name is Mae and she was from a little craftsman/merchant village outside of Sunagakure and her family moved there when she was somewhere between 6-8 (havent decided for sure yet) bc they were never shinobi but wanted her to have the opportunity to be one if she wanted.

She’s always been an art kid with an artsy family but her interests in it are so varied and her home life was kinda chaotic that it was hard for her to sit down and just master one thing. She didn’t function very well in a school environment and i’m on the fence about whether or not I want her to not actually be a registered ninja but sent on missions anyways bc they need as many young vital bodies who have useful skills as possible or having passed but barely and at a very average age. I’m also not positive about her jutsu? I fucking suck at coming up with jutsu. I’m thinking a ninjutsu and having something to do either with some sort of cat familiar thing (kinda like w Kiba and Akamaru, I want her to have a little pet cat bc i have a little kitty who i love so dearly) or something kinda tarot card themed. I’ve also been stuck on the idea of a seamstress theme and she adds to some sort of something w that by learning some chakra thread technique from Sasori.

Speaking of him! Since I don’t think she’s graduating the academy at 8 or something like him, they meet through something regarding their families being into Art Stuff. Mae’s mom is very social and I can picture her striking up a conversation with Chiyo and offering to maybe have her and Mae make garments for their puppets if needed. And Chiyo being like “sure” and seeing that Mae is abt the same age as Sasori and being like “thank god finally i can get my grandson socialized”- Mae even as a child has always been pretty mellow and quiet and kind, if not a little bit sensitive sometimes and also not very good at socializing w other kids AT ALL kinda like he is. I could see them probably sitting in silence together a lot as kids while her mom and Chiyo talk and like, drawing or something and eventually getting comfortable enough to talk about common ground without being too intimidated by the other. As they get older they still hang out a lot when they can because it’s comfortable and they’re coming more into their own and it’s just nice. their relationship builds very slowly over time but it’s stronger than uhh. guys give me something strong to compare it to i’m brain dead rn. anyways

She’s got some traumas and issues and an ongoing struggling relationship with her mother specifically (her dad is actually really nice just emotionally unavailable, they have a much better and less turbulent relationship than Mae and her mother). She also has a little sister and a lot of extended family! I’m also again, still on the fence about her exact role in the village. I’ve also HEAVILY considered her being more someone who handles a lot of work behind the scenes and sometimes going on missions when absolutely needed. Her family struggles financially so she does what she can prolly? And I’m probably not going to make this her actual story but the idea of her, Sasori and Komushi being on a team together is very cute to me and is in my AU box for her. idk there’s a lot fjgjfkf that’s long and it’s not even getting into her struggle to find her art and why her relationship w her mom is Bad and her personality and inner conflicts and MAN I AM . JUST PIECING IT ALL TOGETHER HERE. personality tldr is mellow but passionate, kind, patient, creative, thoughtful, quiet but Knows Things, intuitive, kinda sensitive and sometimes moody and over time builds an ongoing rage bc of village corruption and how ppl treat her and the roles she’s been forced to be in and 😺 yeah. she headbutts her kitty ears on sasori sometimes :)

#she’s not rly exclusively just a s/i i want her to be like. a whole well rounded character #if u have questions u can ask #i love talking about her #i’m gonna cosplay her soon #sasori fandom is she based #sasori #naruto #naruto oc #mae tag #oc #s/i #self shipping #self shipping community #sasomae is their ship name

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wiener-blut · 6 years

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i was tagged by my bb @babypaulchen ages ago and now the time has come to finally do this shit!! i told u i was gonna do it Brig!!

rules: answer these 85 questions and tag 20 people (i wont tag anyone bc im doubting i even know 20 ppl on here lmao)

— what was your last…

1. drink: peach flavoured ice tea 2. phone call: my mom bc i asked her if shes interested in some hyacinth bulbs for her garden since the ones that stood in my room decayed 3. text message: to my cousin, setting a time where we can call and chat 4. song you listened to: actual surprise - its not Rammstein *ooohs and aaahs fly through the crowd* it was “The Schuyler Sisters” from Hamilton 5. time you cried: yesterday bc i had the worst fucking headache ever and i was being a whiny bitch

— have you ever…

6. dated someone twice: nope 7. kissed someone and regretted it: uhh no? 8. been cheated on: no 9. lost someone special: yes 10. been depressed: yes 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: yes, multiple times and ive come to the conclusion that throwing up makes me feel better afterwards like im back to being able to actually perveice my environment again lmao

— fave colours

12. black 13. pastel pink 14. actually i kinda love all colours idk

— in the last year have you…

15. made new friends: yes! 16. fallen out of love: no 17. laughed until you cried: yes, multiple times, good 18. found out someone was talking about you: like uh shittalking? idk so i guess not 19. met someone who changed you: uhhh kinda? 20. found out who your friends are: um well i found out that my friends are good friends and that i love them and that i dont want to miss any of them 21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list: what? u can “kiss” someone on facebook? lmao i didnt take a look on facebook for literally years .......man i had a massive brainlag here. i thought u can now “kiss” ppl on facebook like u can “poke” ppl on facebook and it didnt come to my mind this could mean “irl” lmao bury me IF it means irl tho, then yes

— general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl: pff idk man who the fuck still uses that shithole of a site anyways

23. do you have any pets: no but i had a super cute and fluffy bunny and i still miss him and think about him everyday also i plan on having half a farm and half a zoo in the future

24. do you want to change your name: not anymore; i used to hate my name bc its so outdated and the only answer i ever got on introducing myself was “hey my grandma has the same name isnt that funny” but then more and more people told me my name was pretty and unique and well now that im older (sounds like im 40 lmao) im even kinda fond of it

25. what did you do for your last birthday: umm uhh i guess i was studying for my exams lol but i remember my gf cooking an amazing dinner for me 💖

26. what time did you wake up today: uhhhhhh smth around 9am i think

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: actually sleeping for once bc that headache knocked me out completely

28. what is something you can’t wait for: fucking going to fucking Hamburg in fucking five fucking days

30. what are you listening to right now: the birds chirping outside

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom: yes i had a classmate named Tom........he was a bit strange tho.......

32. something that’s getting on your nerves: i cant think of anything rn

33. most visited website: Tumblr and Youtube

34. hair colour: natural? blonde / current? dyed it pink two weeks ago

35. long or short hair: long ass hair and i mean, literally, they reach all the way down to my hips

36. do you have a crush on someone: ohhhahahaha so, so many, one - and maybe the king of em all - being Christoph Schneider (not obvious at all cough cough)

37. what do you like about yourself: uhhhhhhhhhhh.........;;;;; i guess... uh... *insert more unintelligent noises* maybe my legs?

38. want any piercings: no, except for maybe some on my ear

39. blood type: 0 positive, i think

40. nicknames: Lily

41. relationship status: super duper gay af with @haifisch-ohne-traenen

42. sign: officially capricorn (i like to say “the last capricorn” bc it sounds like “the last unicorn” and well my birthday is on the last day that still counts as capricorn), but honestly im more of an aquarius

43. pronouns: she/her

44. fave tv show: i recently watched Grimm and the story was okay but the cast was like super adorable and i fell in love with every single one of them

45. tattoos: none. YET. i have plans for so much i just am very bad at deciding

46. right or left handed: right handed 47: ever had surgery: okay, small story time. there are these childrens books by german illustrator and author “Janosch” in which a tiger and a bear are best friends and i used to love those books. so once, tiger got ill (his stripes slipped out of place) and he needed to see the doctor. and the exact line was “soothing small shot, blue dream, surgery over, noticed nothing, tiger healthy”. and i once was in the hospital bc there was something wrong my nose (i dont remember what it was tho) and so they anaesthetized me (and my fav stuffie which i brough with me for mental support) and afterwards i told everyone of my “blue dream” and everyone was like ????? wtf kid bc they didnt know what i was talking about and it was just some months ago when i finally found out that a narcosis isnt called a “blue dream” and that i just knew this bc of this books which i adored and tbh i was like MY WHOLE LIFE IS A LIE “BLUE DREAM” IS AN ADORABLE TERM FOR IT 48. piercings: none 49. sport: i did ballet for 15 years and i still love to dance around the house and the mother of my best friend once called me cute bc i cant stand still and always spin around or stretch my toes while lifting my leg or do some pliés and tbh i wasnt even aware of that

50. vacation: uh...i love? lmao

51. trainers: umm like my shoes? mostly wearing my black doc martens

— more general

52. eating: i love me some good salad with tomatoes, mozzarella and tuna but ngl a pizza margherita could beat that salad any time. or a nice ragout fin. or mac’n’cheese. i love food in general, okay

53. drinking: i’d kill for a tequila rn. but like non-alcoholic beverage - plain water, yes thank u

54. i’m about to watch: some movie with my gf which we havent decided on yet

55. waiting for: my gf to return home from work so i can smooch her pretty face

56. want: to cuddle honestly

57. get married: since its legal in germany for some months now... idk tbh, its not smth i debate about on a daily basis

58. career: um i have a vague plan for becoming a speech pathologist but yea... its very vague

— which is better

59. hugs or kisses: hugs

60. lips or eyes: gotta say eyes

61. shorter or taller: i dont care actually

62. older or younger: um sweats loudly...... older (fun fact i recently calculated the average age of my celebrity crushes....yes i was bored.... and it resulted in 50.... well.....)

63. nice arms or stomach: arms, fucc me up

64. hookup or relationships: relationships

65. troublemaker or hesitant: me? kinda both

— have you ever

66. kissed a stranger: no 67. drank hard liquor: yes 68. turned someone down: not really?

69. sex on first date: nope

70: broken someone’s heart: probably

71. had your heart broken: uh yea...kinda

72. been arrested: no

73. cried when someone died: yes, im a whiny bitch so i cry easily

74. fallen for a friend: yeah binch im dating that lovely ho right now... im gonna leave Brig’s answer here bc its perf and same here

— do you believe in

75. yourself: ugh

76. miracles: i want to

77. love at first sight: no

78. santa claus: i want to lol but no

79. angels: fuck yes

— misc

80. eye colour: blue-gray-green-ish mud 81. best friend’s name: Dana

82. favourite movie: so? much? i cant decide, really

83. favourite actor: Tom Hiddleston, i love this british dork, lemme tell u

84. favourite cartoon: phuh, idk i dont really watch cartoons

85. favourite teacher’s name: SWEATS LOUDLY AND AGGRESIVELY i had two massive teacher crushes back in my school days and that makes me a bit biased but im gonna say Herr Wolf was a great teacher bc he always said “hey, astronomy’s a minor subject, the test won’t be hard and i wont give u homework, u guys concentrate on math, german and english” and tbh we need more teachers like that

#tag thing #aaaa god that was so fun but a bit time consuming tbh lol

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atlasira · 4 years

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tell me about your litg mcs!!!

omg an anon ksjadjkd wait okay lemme get my Thoughts together

well the route im playing rn, my mc is one of my more developed ones, even though she still barely is!!!

(yikes did that even make sense damn off to a bad start jdskjfka) what i mean is i still havent really fleshed her out yet, but shes already more uhhh Solid(?) in my head than most of the other mcs ive played.

this^^^ is kemi! short for kemara, but she wants everyone to call her kemi. its the kind of nickname where youll be like “wait your name’s not actually kemi??” like 5 years after knowing her bc literally everyone just calls her kemi

havent worked out a last name yet and im still deciding on a nationality. im really still working out the kinks

shes a model and product ambassador. shes has 2 IGs,

one for business where she posts about products with you know those “use my code for a 10% discount^^” type descriptions. she mostly models makeup

the other for personal use, friends, family, and etc.

after love island, she’ll still do this bc she genuinely enjoys her work, but she’ll also consider going into youtube. i havent decided if she’d be more into doing vlogs, like j*nna m*rbles and g*bbie hanna type of content, or if she’ll do videos like b*iley sarian and l*ndsay ellis where its moreso Discussion based. idk

most of my mcs are on the younger side/closer to my age (my last mc, Luna, was a 21 year old lets player), but kemi is more around like 25 years old? shes more mature than i usually play and is more confident in herself

shes goes after what she wants and kisses people shes not coupled up with and talked to lurik without waking everybody up and etc. shes owns up to these too bc shes just really assured in her decisions

shes more grounded than i usually play too. if it was a spectrum between lottie with her supernatural stuff & marisol with her “practical”ness, kemi would be closer to marisol’s side.

i remember when chelsea comes into the villa, she can say to mc “you seem more of the glass of champagne type” and kemi like totally is. shes all Champagne and Fancy Restaurants and Suits and loves being spoiled

which is why when lucas came into the villa she was like immediately drawn to him, and then the more she heard him speak and talk about boat rowing and romantic dinners and diamonds she almost fell in love on the spot

theyre both a little bougie lol

(this reminded me that lucas is so “Posh” that when someone joked about him giving a girl diamonds on the first date he literally was like “oh thats so last year, ____ shines much brighter” or smthg idek what rock he said im so broke my mind just tuned it out but that scene was so funny lmao)

this is also why its so shocking when she starts catching feelings for gary. hes like the exact opposite of the type she usually goes for. hes such a Bro (or a “Lad” or whatever UK people say) and he hangs out at bars drinking beers with the guys and talks nonstop about cranes and bulldozers and is like “who needs fancy stuff im all ~naturale~” and things like that. he legit wasnt even on her radar until later in the season. i knew this was gonna happen, but i wanted her to Develop first. i tried to play the character basically

idk how im gonna play all this out when lucas comes back in the villa tho like thats gonna be Wild. her & gary will have smthg close to solid by then, and like at the worst possible time the guy she first liked who checked all her boxes is gonna come back thirstier than ever. like thats gonna be Smthg alright lol idek what im thinking kemi would do

my other developed mc from my all time favorite playthrough is named Willow. it was a “loyal since day 1″ bobby route. she was a 22 year old drummer that played in a band her & her old high school friends created that got kinda big in her hometown. i have a lot more on her, but its like 2am here and im getting sleepy. so yeah thats one of my mcs right now!!!

#asks #anon #babbles #ive never written abt my litg mcs before omg #this was nice to just like air out my thoughts on her rn #im gonna reach the beginning of casa amor in a few days and ohhhmyygodddd i hate that segment #its just so LONG #and im focused on gary and lucas rn im not even THINKING bout Those Other Boys uuuugggghhhh

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rhinointherain · 4 years

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26-8-2020

the high hasn’t really hit me yet (its been a few minutes so yeah kind of weird, longer than usual probably, but also not that weird for me bc both i and a***** have noticed that it takes a lot longer for weed to affect me than it does for the average person, i think it is starting to kick in anyway), but i wanted to say first of all that earlier today even though i hadnt smoked at all i noticed myself having some thoughts on the similar type of abstract ideas that i get while high and thinking I should journal them, i didnt because i’m starting to come down firmer on the decision that i will only make any of these types of entries after having smoked at least once that “day” (as in since waking up in the morning, not like a 24 hour period), considering i did smoke twice yesterday and not being a very little physically active person it might have to do with thc still being in my body, but it also might be that doing these journal entries has made me more eager and better equipped to engage with those abstract ideas which i think is cool (although it is important to ask the question of whether it actually has made any tangible difference in how and why i interact with those ideas or whether i just want there to be one), but it also might be that i was reading that terence mckenna book

((actually it was all three of these reasons and also the infinite reaches of every other infinite reason that put me in this specific “multiverse”/version of existence, those three were just the main ones i at first subconsciously perceived to be important enough to type and then after typing them consciously evaluated to be important enough that i would not delete them and instead elaborate on them further. but i feel like I’ve discussed this enough by now that this is readily apparent)

what were those abstract thoughts i wanted to write down is another question because when i decided not to write them down i thought ok well then ill be sure to remember what they were and pick up my phone and write all this immediately after i smoke but the problem is that it takes a little while to type it all up and i forgot them before i had finished writing all that introduction

i should explain better the path that my thoughts have been taking from my mind to their final written form so far in these journal entries but first i want to talk about something else

which is that

(include something explaining why you feel the need to inject these sad excuses of teenage tumblr poetry in between the actual interesting shit you usually like to focus on in these entries)

okay do i still want to write about what i was about to say? also maybe it would be more productive to wait until sober to explain the processes in which these entries are formatted

yeah i do bc one of the reasons i do these lame ones is that they can act for me as a healthy emotional release okay so anyway i wanna be, and this is coming straight from the pathos slash animalistic sensory-propelled part of my brain not anywhere near the rational thought-propelled one, i right now wanna be like a a girl in a movie or story about some like lame emo dude who smokes cigarettes and the movie is just a bunch of slow panning over like a rainy city and theres shoegaze in the background (im thinking about like lost in translation or something BUT EXCEPT the dude isnt bill murray the dudes like a young guy who only someone like me would find attractive (but there are a lot of people like me) who like reads proust or some shit i dont know) and MANIC PIXIE DREAM GIRL fuck that’s what i’m trying to say i didn’t actually need to type all this shit i just forgot that that term existed for a sec well anyway yeah thats what i want to be, seeing as this concept and the importance of attaining it as a woman has been drilled into my head by media which my brain had been heavily impressed with during its most impressionable ages (that being my adolescence), where and how did that impression happen ie was it absorbed into the deep subconscious reaches and now resides with the animal/sensory part of my brain who has classed the desire to fulfill this idealized image as a sensory/survival need, or does it come in from the opposite side and instead its like a desire that comes from higher conscious and or subconscious cognitive understanding formed from the human brains complex analysis of every input it gets through the web of social norms and evaluations and memories and everything that makes up what the brain understands everything to be. how are the two even different. they arent because nothing is different everything is just one infinity inside of itself and i write this same thought down a lot because of its essentiality but i havent been conveying it in a well thought out enough way for sober me to fully grasp its importance. eventually i should dedicate more effort to this particular idea but thats a big undertaking and i have been too lazy to attempt it so far

fuck like i just want the guy to be like standing by himself at the weird french new wave club or something thinking about how disconnected he is from society or whatever the fuck and then he sees me whos like 100 lbs and i have an unconventional haircut and either im like dancing uninhibitedly (representing the innocent and childlike perspective our jaded protagonist needs to offset his disillusionment with society) or im also standing all alone smoking a cig and maybe even reading like [first 20th century philosopher that comes up under suggested results when you type proust’s name into google] ha ha ha im so funny do you see what im doing here im deconstructing the stereotypical indie movie that people on the internet make fun of because genuinely liking it had become too mainstream im sure no one has ever thought of this before as a comedic bit anyway i had this whole other thing about it too like she goes in his car with him and they smoke and exchange like 4 sentences but u can still tell shes the perfect for him bc shes sexy and has pink hair or something i dont know anyway i was just thinking about how i wanna be that.

like wouldnt it be nice to not actually have any thoughts in your head your whole job is to be pretty but not know that youre pretty because apparently you dont fit the societal convention of beauty except you pretty much do in every way except that you like have green eyes instead of blue and you dont wear high heels or something and thats all you have to do you only exist to fulfill some dudes fantasy and if you fulfill that fantasy you’ve reached the ultimate purpose in life and don’t have to worry about accomplishing anything else or pleasing anyone else, maybe thats why some people become super religious because isn’t it pretty much the same exact concept like your ultimate goal is to become jesus’s manic pixie dream girl, or buddha’s maybe i don’t know i am embarrassingly uninformed about eastern religions

i’m already not really very high anymore that’s disappointing bc i finally actually took a bong rip by myself in what felt like the correct way to do it eg it didnt make me cough but i guess it wasn’t the correct way after all i guess me not coughing just meant i didnt get enough in my lungs godsh damn it

#journal #aug 2020 #🌿

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