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my-bated-breath · 4 years

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On an Immensely Popular Post

Disclaimer: What I’m writing here may not be completely accurate -- like most works of art, literature, and even STEM tend to be -- and as a new fan of ATLA, a few of the metas I publish may be obsolete or unintentionally insensitive. That being said, I like to believe that I can contribute something valuable to this fandom. In all my (real) metas, I wish to be as objective as possible and not rely on my biases, fanon, or common “knowledge” that may just be misconceptions. If anyone reading this finds something to be false or contrived, I am always welcome to constructive criticism. What I am not welcome to is senseless hate or bashing.

My first experiences with the ATLA fandom begun a long, long time ago, but the most recent and powerful revival of my love for ATLA started with me actually watching the show and soon after, with me falling into the endless abyss of ATLA metas on Tumblr. Sifting through the well-written analyses and the emotion-based rants had taught me a lot about critical thinking and the power of influence, so now I’d like to present a meta that critiques an extremely popular post with over 60,000 notes. And since it’s so popular, this is the part where I must make yet another disclaimer.

Disclaimer: I hold nothing against lesbians4sokka (whose name has now been changed to comradekatara). They have the right to share what they want, but since this particular post has become so influential that it’s still being reblogged regularly to this day, I believe it is within my right to criticize it - emphasis on “criticize,” which is different from “hate.”

Now that that’s out of the way, let us begin:

Lesbians4sokka/comradekatara covers 3 main subjects in their post, which I will quote/summarize below:

(1) Ma/iko: “...the entire foundation of mai and zuko’s relationship was built on how miserable they were together, and how they would just sit there and hate the world together— letting their misery fester as they enabled each other’s depression— and I think that’s really unfortunate because they would work so well as friends if they weren’t trying to make their dumpster fire of a relationship work.”

(2) Zutara: “similarly, what makes zuko and katara’s dynamic so compelling is that they share the same flaws, only as opposed to mai’s apathy and misery, it’s katara’s rage and guilt that zuko identifies with. they both share trauma over having lost their mothers, and both in a similar way (sacrificing themselves for them) and they both cope with their grief through rage, often misplaced… katara and zuko have a deep & profound friendship, but if they were to be in a relationship, they would only bring out the absolute worst in each other thru enabling each other’s rage and emotion-driven decision making.”

(3) Z/uk/ka: this pairing makes for a healthy and wholesome relationship because throughout the boiling rock, we see that “sokka and zuko make an excellent team, as they balance each other perfectly. sokka thinks big picture, and plans ahead, but zuko will charge into situations.” They inspire each other, they trust each other unconditionally, they become more open and supportive of each other, they share a lot of common interests and narrative parallels, and in general, just make each other happy (which could work both platonically and romantically).

As for my response: I’m sure many of you are expecting me to start to save the “best for last.” That assumption would be incorrect because I actually have the least to say about point 3.

I agree that Z/uk/ka can be a good relationship. Their dynamic is funny, playful, supportive, etc. etc. (there are so many positive adjectives I could use to describe their dynamic, the list could go on forever). And they could make a great couple.

…

What, did you expect more from me? That’s it, I’m done.

I’m not here to attack Z/uk/ka as a ship, because while I can never actively ship it (I’m a sad, narrow-minded exclusive shipper, always had been and always will be) I can objectively appreciate them as one. It’s points 1 and 2 I’m more concerned about.

Now, since we’ve already begun working backward, I’ll begin my critiques on point 2: I could write extensively about the parallels between Zuko and Katara, including but not limited to shared pain and a few shared flaws - and just a few, because their weaknesses diverge in many important places. However, since I’m trying to write as objectively as possible and since Zuko-Katara parallels have already been discussed to death, my analysis will focus elsewhere.

However, something from comradekatara’s post that I would first like to address is this-

[Zuko and Katara] both cope with their grief through rage, often misplaced. in the southern raiders, they both act deeply insensitively towards sokka by acting as if his grief over his mother’s death is somehow less valid simply because he is a lot quieter in his coping mechanisms and doesn’t project his rage & guilt onto everyone else.

- or rather, the idea that Zuko and Katara’s shared pain causes them to act insensitively towards Sokka (and though the post does not mention it, Aang as well).

(Note: these points have already been covered by countless metas before mine, so you can skip/skim this section to read a newer argument in the next section.)

Even ignoring the fact that the Southern Raiders had many out of character moments, Katara’s insensitivity towards Sokka is first and foremost a reaction against his insensitivity towards her.

_____

Dialogue from Season 3, Episode 16 “The Southern Raiders”:

Aang: Um ... and what exactly do you think this will accomplish?

Katara: [Shakes her head in dismay.] Ugh, I knew you wouldn't understand. [Begins to walk away.]

Aang: Wait! Stop! I do understand. You're feeling unbelievable pain and rage. How do you think I felt about the sandbenders when they stole Appa? How do you think I felt about the Fire Nation when I found out what happened to my people?

Zuko: She needs this, Aang. This is about getting closure and justice.

Aang: I don't think so. I think it's about getting revenge.

Katara: [Angrily.] Fine, maybe it is! Maybe that's what I need! Maybe that's what he deserves!

Aang: Katara, you sound like Jet.

Katara: It's not the same! Jet attacked the innocent. This man, he's a monster.

Sokka: Katara, she was my mother, too, but I think Aang might be right.

Katara: Then you didn't love her the way I did!

Sokka: [Hurt] Katara!

_____

While I believe that Aang’s principles of forgiveness are morally sound, the way he pushes his beliefs onto Katara undermines much of her grief. At first, Aang tries to relate to Katara’s experiences by comparing them to his own, but there is a forceful connotation to his dialogue that suggests that Aang considers himself to be the moral authority compared to Katara. Hence, Aang judges Katara (“I think it’s about getting revenge”) without trying to reach out and understand her, forgoing the empathetic common ground in favor of taking on the moral high ground.

Thus, when Sokka tells Katara, “she was my mother, too, but I think Aang might be right,” Sokka is not only saying that Katara should choose forgiveness, he is implying that Aang is the ultimate moral authority on this matter and that Katara should accept that. Moreover, similarly to Aang, Sokka’s opening line, “she was my mother, too,” had the potential to establish common ground between himself and Katara, but the added “but…” places Sokka on the moral high ground against her instead. Of course, when we remember that just two lines ago Aang equates Katara to Jet, Sokka agreeing with Aang seems even more thoughtless and unsympathetic.

So when Katara lashes out against Sokka, ostensibly “acting as if his grief over his mother’s death is somehow less valid simply because he is a lot quieter in his coping mechanisms and doesn’t project his rage & guilt onto everyone else,” it is important to note that Sokka undermines Katara’s louder, more visible way of grieving as well (though that discounts that for most of the show, Katara only uses her grief over her mother’s death to sympathize with others).

Moreover, Katara’s line, “then you didn't love her the way I did!” is hurtful, yes, but it is not necessarily equivalent to “you didn’t love her as much as I did.” Katara’s love for her mother is different from Sokka’s because her pain over her death is different -- after Kya’s passing, Katara had to carry the emotional burden of becoming a pseudo-mother to Sokka (see Sokka and Toph’s conversation in “The Runaway”), a burden that did not cease after she joined the GAang (see the entirety of “The Desert”). To Katara, Kya was not only her mother, but the representation of the childhood she lost and the sacrifice made to protect her life. Sokka simply does not have that same relationship with Kya.

I do not mean to say that Sokka and Aang unfairly taking on the moral authority in this situation means that this authority instead belongs to Katara (and Zuko) - “The Southern Raiders” is filled with questionable moments from all parties involved. However, TSR is an episode that delves into Katara (and Zuko)’s relationship with a mother’s sacrifice, so how Zuko and Katara respond to this specific trauma from their past does not dictate how they respond to painful circumstances in the present/future. Let’s see how this is true.

Sozin’s Comet, Part 1: The Phoenix King

No doubt Zuko and Katara felt some form of frustration upon Aang’s disappearance, so let’s see how they “[enabled] each other’s rage and emotion-driven decision making”:

Here, Katara and Zuko make a decision together that turns out to be calm, rational, and not at all emotionally-driven despite their mutual frustration and worry towards Aang.

Sozin’s Comet, Part 2: The Old Masters

Zuko holds immense pain and self-loathing over betraying Iroh, yet Zuko and Katara’s conversation does not enable/exacerbate negativity from any party involved (since Zuko often translates his grief into anger, and Katara was evidently angry at Zuko’s betrayal). Instead, their conversation is open, encouraging, and constructive.

(Note: this is where the review of points made by previous metas ends.)

Hence, to say that “[Zuko and Katara] would only bring out the absolute worst in each other [through] enabling each other’s rage and emotion-driven decision making” - when we are given in-canon examples of the opposite being true - would be a sweeping and inaccurate generalization.

But for the sake of argument let’s say that, hypothetically, Zuko and Katara’s relationship would fail because they only bring out the worst in each other. And here’s where the argument falls apart for me - Is the argument here that Zuko and Katara have an incredibly meaningful friendship yet somehow this “friendship” causes them to enable each other, thus encouraging each other’s worst flaws and regressing each other’s growth? Is a healthy friendship - much less a “deep and profound” one - not one where two individuals can learn from each other in positive ways and balance each other’s shortcomings?

Or is it something different we’re saying here? Are we saying that two individuals can have a “deep and profound” friendship and yet the moment their relationship shifts from platonic to romantic, they are terrible for each other?

While many significant platonic bonds are stunted when they become romantic, I still believe it to be common sense that some of the best romantic relationships stem from a platonic foundation. But since much of “common sense” on the internet sees that “sense” is nonsensical and “common” is a nicer way to refer to mob mentality, I have done my research to show how Zuko and Katara could have been an excellent case of a friends-to-lovers relationship.

An excerpt from my meta, “Research Shows that Zutara Would Have Been the Ideal Friends to Lovers Dynamic.” (give it a read if you want to see references to relationship-research and an overanalysis on diction/tone)

The reason why Zutara is framed as a “toxic and unhealthy” relationship is that their romance would be a classic example of the enemies-to-lovers trope, a trope which modern media has not been particularly kind to. However, when executed correctly, enemies-to-lovers can produce a healthy and loving relationship, frequently relying on friendship as an intermediate between the “enemy” and “lover” stages in the most well-executed versions of this trope. Meanwhile, the trope of friends-to-lovers is just as popular as enemies-to-lovers, though the specific dynamic required between two individuals to achieve this transition is not well-known. Recognizing this, Laura K. Guerrero and Paul A. Mongeau, both of whom are involved in relationship-related research as professors at Arizona State University, wrote a research paper on how friendships may transition into romantic relationships…

According to Guerrero and Mongeau, “...scholars have argued that intimacy is located in different types of interactions, ranging from sexual activity and physical contact to warm, cozy interactions that can occur between friends, family members, and lovers…” Guerrero and Mongeau then reference a relationship model where the initial stages (i.e. perceiving similarities, achieving rapport, and inducing self-disclosure) reflect platonic/romantic intimacy through communication while the latter stages (i.e. role-taking, achieving interpersonal role fit, and achieving dyadic crystallization) often see both individuals as achieving a higher level of intimacy that involves more self-awareness.

In the rest of my research-based meta I demonstrate how Zuko and Katara’s platonic interactions in the show fit into the stages of communicative intimacy (i.e. perceiving similarities, achieving rapport, and inducing self-disclosure) that Guerrero and Mongeau describe as being mutual between friendships and romances. As such, crossing the line between friends and more-than-friends most likely would not cause a dramatic shift in the Zutara dynamic since much of Zuko and Katara’s platonic intimacy easily translates into romantic intimacy. I’ll end off with another excerpt from my meta.

Excerpt from “Research Shows that Zutara Would Have Been the Ideal Friends to Lovers Dynamic.”

“...it would be remiss to simply dismiss the Zutara dynamic as one that would instantly become toxic should they pursue a romantic relationship.”

With that little thought in mind, let’s move onto point 3: an exploration of friendship, romance, and why toxicity is not exclusive to the latter.

Let’s start with what I agree with:

“The entire foundation of mai and zuko’s relationship was built on how miserable they were together, and how they would just sit there and hate the world together— letting their misery fester as they enabled each other’s depression...”

I’m not sure how necessary it is for me to elaborate on this point given that it’s already been accepted by comradekatara and perhaps 60,000+ other users on Tumblr (a gross exaggeration but this remains unimportant), but in her essay, “Zuko, Mai, and the Nature of True Intimacy,” Araeph contributes more nuance to the concept of Ma/iko and mutual misery, stating that,

Unfortunately for [Zuko and Mai’s] relationship, Mai is and will always be a pessimist—a character trait, not a character flaw, in her. The key difference lies in how Mai and Zuko use their negative feelings. When Zuko sinks into negativity, he gives up on any actions that will materially change his world for the better; Mai, on the other hand, can remain negative even at the height of her character development, and it does not impede her ability to act.

So while Mai enables Zuko’s depression, Zuko does not necessarily do the same for Mai. Nonetheless, throughout their relationship for the first half of season 3, neither of them communicate constructively or push each other to grow as people.

This may be the third disclaimer I’m making, but I first want to say I have nothing against Mai. However, I do have something against the idea that “[Mai and Zuko] would work so well as friends if they weren’t trying to make their dumpster fire of a relationship work.”

Their relationship is a dumpster fire, yes, but will the flames cease simply if the amount of intimacy in the relationship changes?

comradekatara state themselves that their entire romantic relationship is quite depressing - they are only able to connect through empty physical intimacy and mutual hatred of the world. Without that, there is little left for them to bond over. Once Zuko overcomes his conflicting morality and inaction from the first half of season 3, he becomes someone who is strongly guided by his principles and beliefs. However, for the entirety of the series, Mai is characterized by her moral apathy. To cite from Araeph again,

It is moral intimacy that is the last and worst omission for Mai and Zuko… Zuko’s struggle to find and follow his principles is the most central aspect of his character, yet it is a struggle Mai neither understands nor respects…

Lack of moral intimacy (not sharing the same core beliefs) is something that applies to both platonic and romantic bonds. Thus, just as transitioning from a meaningful friendship to a romance does not inherently create toxicity in a relationship, switching from a romance that exacerbates one (or both, depending on how you interpret it) party’s misery does not necessarily erase the preexisting negativity in a relationship - perhaps some of it may subside, sure, but as long both parties continue to fail at communicating and understanding each other, even their friendship seems bleak at best. In this case, Mai and Zuko may work well as conditional friends, or in other words, friends who are only friends when they have something to mutually be miserable over. And this tiptoes the line of speculation, but they could be a formidable political team. But unless the Ma/iko dynamic shifts drastically in the lovers-to-friends transition, I’m not sure if there’s much potential in a friendship between them.

In conclusion, there is a lot I don’t agree with from comradekatara’s post, but if there’s one takeaway I want to impart onto everyone who’s read this far, it’s this: crossing and uncrossing the line between platonic and romantic bonds is not always a transformative experience for the relationship, and the nature of human relationships is a complex spectrum -- not a light switch that can only be set between healthy and unhealthy.

Thank you all for reading!

#atla #atla meta #my bated breath analyzes #this is more pro-zukka than anti-zukka #but I will include neither in my tags #zutara #anti maiko #once again this is a critique #not a post meant to tear anyone or their views down #my bated breath's posts

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presentmic69 · 5 years

Text

Problem

Self Ship: MattLee Fandom: Saints Row Word Count: 2457 (Originally posted to AO3)

Matt had a problem.

He had tried to deny it. He had tried to ignore it. He had even tried redirecting it. But unfortunately, he couldn't make it go away. It was like an infection.

An infection in his heart.

He sighed and pushed the computer screen in front of him away. It was impossible to focus, impossible to throw himself into his work. Because across from his simulation workstation was the source of his whole problem. Tucked safely into her sim port, beautiful purple eyes closed and face pensive. Her pink-painted lips were pursed slightly. All too often, he found himself staring at her, found his thoughts travelling to her. Wondering what it would be like to kiss those lips. And it. was. a. problem.

Lee… was a problem. And he hated the fact that she was a problem, because she was too incredible to have anything negative attached to her. And really, the issue was more about him. He couldn't control his emotions, he was being… well, creepy, he figured. And if she ever noticed him staring, he was certain she'd start hating him forever. More so than she /probably/ did during their days in Steelport. Matt shook his head. The fact that she even kept him around after all of that- he just couldn’t understand it. Part of him didn’t want to understand. Knowing his luck, it was just another case of being kept until he outlived his usefulness, before being thrown in the trash.

He didn't think he could handle that again. Not from Lee. Not when he felt so… strongly for her. But as time passed, it became more and more of an issue: to the point that Kinzie and Asha were commenting on how distracted he was while working. Hell- he was sure that even /Johnny/ had noticed. And that was saying something. It was only a matter of time before everyone found him out, and that was a terrifying prospect. It would be the end to normalcy as he knew it.

He had to do something. But doing something took courage… social courage, which was the one he lacked the most.

He stood up from his chair and took off for the cargo bay. His private space, with his couch and respite area. It was the only place he felt secure enough to have a serious dialogue with himself. Afterall, nobody ever wanted to walk past and get roped into watching a whole season of Nyte Blade in one sitting. It was both a blessing and a curse. But even then, he couldn't stop thinking about her, picturing her beautiful face. He hated himself for it, and even more for being too much of a coward to admit his infatuation.

"Infatuation… no, that's not the right word." He sighed to himself. "Affection? Interest? L-"

No. The L-word was too serious. Their relationship had, up until this point, been entirely playful, banter based, with a side of… Well. “Messing around”. He would embarrass himself, scare her off. He needed inspiration.

...And that's how he found himself watching Nyte Blade confess his emotions to Marion. Matt had watched this part too many times to count, to the point where even he had forgotten. But this time it felt… different. It was hitting home a bit more than anticipated.

"Marion, ever since I met you… my soul has been aflame with desire."

"My heart… yearns for yours." Matt spoke, along with the protagonist. "I've never felt such passion, such a connection to another. Though my body may be dead, you make me feel… alive."

"Oh, Nyte Blade…"

"Please. Call me Franklin. I want to know you. All of you. And I want you to know me."

The problem was, he couldn't even focus on Nyte Blade. His thoughts just kept wandering to her. Maybe he just needed to practice, instead. Matt leaped out of his seat and begun pacing back and forth. He almost tripped over his own feet making his first turn, looking around to make sure absolutely nobody had seen that. Of course, nobody had- who the hell would be down in the Cargo Bay when he was- okay, maybe he was insulting himself a little there. Matt shook his head and knelt next to the couch, reaching into the box of miscellaneous Nyte Blade memorabilia and pulled out a figurine of the Bloody Cannoness. He felt like this was sure to be the stupidest thing he’d ever done, but if he wanted to channel his inner Nyte Blade, who best to practice on than the Cannoness herself!

"Hey, do you… come here often?"

The figurine of the Bloody Cannoness he was pretending was Lee did not answer.

"You know, I think someone's liable to call the coppers on you, because looking so beautiful must be ill- no, she's already committed too many crimes for that."

He started again. Maybe pickup lines were a bad idea. Yes- absolutely. There was no way a cheesy pickup line was going to work on Lee. She’d probably heard them all a thousand times over- and probably shot everyone who even dared. Matt wasn’t sure what fate was worse- rejection, or a bullet in his brain. The bullet surely wouldn’t hurt as much, he thought to himself.

"Listen, I just wanted to say… you are beautiful, and I was thinking… maybe we could…"

Do what, exactly? Get dinner at the local space restaurant? God, this was stupid. And the Bloody Cannoness was nothing like Lee, anyway. He just needed to hype himself up. He quickly tossed the figure aside and onto the couch. Matt glanced down to make sure that said spontaneous act hadn’t broken the figurine- luckily for him it hadn’t. He picked it back up and slipped it back into the box, sliding it back under the couch. Better to be safe than sorry. Matt drew in a couple of deep breaths and closed his eyes for a few moments. NOW, he was able to hype himself up.

"Come on, you're R4GN0R0K! A cyber god, with the world, no, the universe, all at your fingertips! You can tell one woman how you feel about her, even if that woman is… you know, the most beautiful woman to ever exist, way out of your league, badass, could kill you easily…"

No! Positive thoughts. Positive thoughts, Matt. He slumped back down onto the couch, holding his head in his hands. This was a whole lot harder than he ever imagined it would be. He took another deep breath and looked up.

"I can do this. R4GN0R0K. Cyber god. I… can do this!"

He could do this. He could do this. He could do this.

He was doing it.

He jumped up off the couch and headed up to the common room where he could hear the squad's voices. Lee was at the pool table, laughing at something Johnny was doing, and he paused in the doorway, admiring the way she looked for just a moment. Spiky, colourful hair a perfect mess, a rare spark of joy in her expression. She made the ugly grey jumpsuit they all wore look like it could be on a runway model.

She looked around, saw him, and offered a smile that filled him with an emotion that made his chest feel like it would burst. Panicking a little bit at the overwhelming emotion, he rushed forward, grabbed ahold of her arm gently, and tugged her away. She seemed surprised by the sudden contact, but followed him out of the room. They stopped in the storage room, surrounded by cans of nutrient supplement.

"Matt? What's wrong?" She asked. "Emotional breakdown over Nyte Blade Season 3 Finale again, or-"

"I… I need to tell you something." He said, confidence quickly wilting as he stared her in the face. She was out of his league, and he was about to be rejected, he just knew it-

Lee had never seen Matt sound and look so panicked before. Not when she could have killed him all those years ago. Not when he found out the world had been destroyed. Not even when Zinyak had messed with him mentally with his use of the simulations. Something was up here- and she knew it. Concern coloured her expression. Even she was unable to hide it. And she was a GOD of hiding emotions away from the people closest to her.

"What's- What’s wrong?"

This was it. The end. He turned bright red.

"Lee, I… I'minlovewithyou."

Oh god. He said the L-word.

"W-What?"

She blinked at him, dumbfounded. She had heard clearly what he said- but couldn’t quite believe it. Why would /he/ of all people be saying that- be feeling that. Matt had standards, somehow. And she met none of them. Somehow.

"I'm… in love with you. I know you and I just have this banter relationship, and I know you're too good for me, and you deserve so much better than me, but I just had to say something b-because… e-ever since I met you, my soul-"

Time was slowing down for Matt and he hated it. He just had to get a few more words out- he could do it-

"Has been aflame with desire." Lee deadpanned, turning pink with what was clearly rage. "Did you just confess your love to me using a Nyte Blade quote?"

Fuck. "...I'm sorry, I panicked, and-"

"I love you too, dumbass." She said quickly, the three words that he had only ever fantasized about hearing her say. The fifth word was, however, incredibly incorrect. At least Matt thought so. Even though he absolutely was being a dumbass in the moment.

"Oh." Well, that was unexpected. "Really?"

"I was kind of under the impression you would never like me, but… yes."

"Wow." Matt was dumbfounded.

They stood there in silence for a moment. There was so much for both parties to take in. On Matt’s side- he was on cloud nine. Part of him wanted to run and scream, telling everyone all about it at the top of his lungs. But the other part was frozen still, in shock, unable to comprehend what had just happened. And Lee? She was even more in shock. Despite portraying herself as the rock-hard leader of the Saints, she was so much more complex than that deep down. And barely anyone knew it. The combination of trauma, mental illness, self-hatred and God knows what else had always led her to believe that even the likes of Matt Miller wouldn’t want anything more to do with her than a casual shag every now and then. Hell- he was the only person she had ever gotten /that/ close to. Although that was not something she was about to admit. Not just yet.

"So, what now, casanova?" Lee asked, breaking the silence.

"I… have no idea. I never actually accounted for this when I was rehearsing."

"You rehearsed this?!" She giggled. "And /that/ was the result?"

"Well, I didn't say I rehearsed it well."

Lee couldn’t help but smile. God he was adorable. Was he always this cute- or had he just somehow made himself even cuter with his shenanigans? She crossed her arms, leaning back against one of the supply closets. This whole situation sure was something to her. Matt was the first person she had ever been with; and Matt was the first person she had ever loved.

“You- did a better job than I would have.” “What do you mean-“ “I could have said something five years ago-“

Lee sighed, realizing she was just about to reveal quite a few things about herself with no warning.

“-but I didn’t. I was too scared to. But you? You bloody did it.” “You mean to say you-“ “Five years. Pathetic, I know.”

And now they were back to silence. Matt was in more shock than before. Five years ago, he was terrorizing the Boss of the Saints with whatever antics were required by the Syndicate. And /THAT/ was the point in time that Lee had fallen in love with him? That she had fallen in love at /ALL/? Matt couldn’t quite believe it. For a moment he thought that he was being pranked. But knew deep down that Lee would never be that cruel to him. This was all real. This was happening. Lee closed her eyes and smiled to herself. It was one of the most genuine smiles that had ever come out of her. And Matt couldn’t help but notice. Once again, he found himself looking at her lips. How perfect they looked when she was smiling. And knowing that he was the source of said smiles? Priceless.

He was cut off pondering by her turning and kissing him. He squeaked like a teen girl in a cheesy romance movie, astonished, and then kissed back, burying his hands in her soft hair and feeling the butterflies in his stomach explode into his throat. Her arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him in closer against her body. She found herself being pinned up again the cabinets as they kissed ever so passionately. It was like electricity was surging through their bodies. Matt was almost certain he was about to explode, but at the same time, he felt like he would phase into nothingness and fall right through her embrace. The floor spun.

Lee pulled away first. His lipstick was smeared against hers, producing purple streaks. He wondered if the same marks were on him. He decided he wouldn't mind that. Matt caught himself gazing at her- She looked like she had stars in her eyes.

"I love you." They chorused, relishing the words spoken breathless and wide-eyed. Matt giggled; Lee giggled. They kissed again, and again and again. Brief, sweet contact that was quickly becoming addictive. It was like they were teenagers again, living out what could have been had things been different.

"Yo, Boss!" A distant voice came from down the hall. "You gonna come finish getting your ass kicked, or are you a coward and terrible at pool?"

"Oh, fuck off will you, just give me a second!"

Lee rolled her eyes. Matt grinned at her. "We, uh, might want to fix up our lipstick."

"I dunno. I think I like the look." She shrugged, swiping a thumb across his bottom lip where a smear had formed. She leant in and placed her lips to his once more. This kiss felt- different to Matt. It was so much softer than any kiss they had shared before. They both closed their eyes as Lee ran her thumb along his cheek. When Lee eventually pulled back and opened her eyes, she smiled and took Matt by the hand.

"Let's make a statement."

#aj.txt #my writing #self ship #self shipping #self insert #saints row #mattlee

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shadow-light19 · 6 years

Text

Redemption and Forgiveness Chapter 1: No Music!

Summary: A Coco AU based on the deleted scene idea that Miguel needed to return the guitar to lift the curse. Miguel wants to play music but his family hates it. When he discovers Ernesto De la Cruz is his great-great-grandfather, he decides to borrow his guitar to play in the Day of the Dead Talent Show in order to prove himself as a musician. However, he did not realize that stealing the guitar would lead to him being cursed. Now he must traverse the land of the dead, with the guitar, to ask for the owner’s forgiveness.

Notes: I did not like the idea that the Rivera’s in the Land of the Dead had to smash the guitar in order to break the curse. That doesn’t make much sense to me. In a story of redemption and forgiveness, breaking a part of someone that you’re going to be forgiving them for is wonky. In this story, it will be similar to the Coco story except Miguel will need to be forgiven for taking the guitar. I will also be treating the guitar as Hector’s since Ernesto stole the guitar and thus is not the actual owner of the guitar. The beginning and some parts, later on, will be the same as the movie but a lot more will change once Miguel is cursed. This story won’t be updated that often since it takes a while to go through and put accents on everything. I don’t speak Spanish well, so I have to double check what I write to make sure it’s correct. I also listened multiple times to the quotes in the movie and added commas when Miguel pauses for a bit in his story, so some of it’s grammatically incorrect. This will be in Miguel’s POV.

Disclaimer: I do not own Coco, but I do own a copy of the DVD which I used to make the story accurate.

Miguel sat on his knees. He was in the Plaza Santa Cecilia with his shoe shining kit shining a mariachi’s shoes. Miguel's family were shoemakers and so Miguel often offered to shine shoes in order to help out. In reality, he liked the freedom he got by being allowed to stay out by himself. This wasn't the first time that Miguel worked in Plaza Santa Cecilia. He would sneak out here whenever he got the chance in order to listen to music and learn about it from musicians who were willing to chat with him. Any tips he got he saved and spent at stores or stalls for his Ernesto de la Cruz collection. Miguel sighed. He was already stressing out from the weight of his family’s expectations of him.

My family is always the worst on Días de Los Muertos. I can't even go 5 minutes without being reminded of family this and family that. I just want to play music but all I hear about is how they expect me to be like the rest of them!

“Sometimes, I think I’m cursed. ‘Cause of something that happened before I was even born. See, a long time ago, there was this family. The papa, he was a musician. He and his family would sing, and dance, and count their blessings. But he also had a dream. To play for the world. And one day, he left with his guitar and never returned.

And the mamá? She didn’t have time to cry over that walk-boy musician. After banishing all music from her life, she found a way to provide for her daughter. She rolled up her sleeves, and she learned to make shoes!

She could’ve made candy, o-o-or fireworks, or sparkly underwear for wrestlers?! But, no. She chose shoes. Then she taught her daughter to make shoes. And later, she taught her son-in-law. Then her grandkids got roped in. As her family grew, so did the business! Music had torn her family apart, but shoes, held them all together! You see, that woman? Was my great-great-grandmother, Mamá Imelda. She died way before I was born. But my family still tells her story, every year on Días de Los Muertos. The Day of the Dead! And her little girl? She’s my great-grandmother, Mamá Coco!

She calls me Julio, but actually, my name is Miguel. Mamá Coco, has trouble remembering things. But it’s good to talk to her anyway, so I pretty much tell her everything.

My abuelita? She’s Mamá Coco’s daughter. Abuelita runs our house just like Mamá Imelda did. I think we’re the only family in Mexico who hates music! And my family’s fine with that. But me? I’m not like the rest of my family! I know I’m not supposed to love music… But it’s not my fault!

It’s Ernesto De La Cruz’s, the greatest musician of all time! He started out a total nobody from Santa Cecilia, like me! But when he played music, he made people fall in love with him. He starred in movies, he had the coolest guitar, he could fly! And he wrote the best songs! But my all-time favorite, it’s Remember Me.

He lived the kind of life you’d dream about! Until 1942, when he was crushed by a giant bell. I wanna be just like him. Sometimes, I look at De La Cruz and get this feeling, like we’re connected somehow! Like if he could play music, maybe someday, ah-ah-I could too! If it wasn’t for my family.”

Miguel’s shoulders slumped and he stared at the man’s shoes in sadness.

I don't know how much longer I can take this.

“Aye-aye-aye muchacho! I asked for a shoe shine! Not your life’s story.” The mariachi said exasperatedly.

“O-o-oh yeah. Sorry!” Miguel quickly grabs two brushes and starts brushing his left shoe. The man begins to play his guitar.

“It’s just that I can’t really talk about any of this at home, so…”

The man looked down at him.

“Look.” Miguel obeyed.

“If I were you? I’d march right up to my family and say, ‘Hey! I’m a musician! Deal with it!’” The man made motions with his hands while he talked.

Miguel chuckles, “I could never say that.” He went back to brushing.

If you knew how scary my Abuelita can be, you’d understand why I never say anything.

The man looked at him again.

“You are a musician, no?”

Miguel frowned, “I don’t know, I mean… I only really play for myself.”

He had taught himself how to play guitar by watching videos of de la Cruz and listening to records. It took him forever to make a guitar too! But now he could at least practice playing.

“Ahhh. Did de la Cruz, become the best musician by hiding his sweet, sweet skills? No! He walked out onto that plaza, and he played out loud! Oh, mira, mira. They’re setting up for tonight! The music competition for Día de Muertos. You wanna be like your hero? You should sign up!?”

Miguel looks at the poster that was being hung up on the plaza stage, then goes back to shining the man’s shoes. He’d seen the poster before. They did it every year, after all, but he had never been able to attend and he had never thought about playing in it.

“Uh-uh. My family would freak!”

Abuelito would sic la chancla on me for sure. My parents would yell and the rest of the family would probably hate me.

“Look, if you’re too scared, then well, have fun making shoes.”

Miguel cringed.

“Come on, what did De La Cruz always say?”

“S-seize your moment?”

The man looks at his guitar, then back to Miguel.

“Show me what you got, muchacho.” He hands it over.

Miguel stares at it, dumbfounded.

No way! Does he really want to hear me play?

“I’ll be your first audience.” He encouraged.

Miguel took it from him and held it with reverence. This was his dream. A real audience to play for. He looked at the man again, as though making sure it was alright. The man smiled and nodded. Miguel smiled in disbelief, but just as he was about to strum the guitar,

“MIGUEL!”

Miguel gasped in horror, shoved the guitar into the man’s hands, and turned around. His abuelita was storming towards him, with his cousin Rosá and Tío Berto following close behind. Rosá and Tío Berto were carrying cempasúchil (pronounced sem-pah-sue-chill) flowers and baskets.

“Abuelita!” Miguel gave her a sheepish wave at being caught.

Oh no... What are they doing here? Abuelita never come by the plaza! I'm so dead!

“What are you doing here?!” Abuelita cried out.

“Umm, uh-uh-ahhh.” Miguel hurriedly packs up his shoe shining gear.

Abuelita notices the mariachi and glares at him, taking her sandal off as she continues walking forward.

“You leave my grandson alone!” She smacks him with the shoe, knocking his sombrero over his face in the process.

Oh no. Please don't make a scene!

The man fixed his sombrero.

“Doña, please! I was just getting a shine!”

Abuelita jabs the shoe in his face. Miguel was horrified.

“I know your tricks, mariachi! What did he say to you?” Her face softened as she looked at Miguel.

Miguel panicked.

“He was just showing me his guitar!”

Shoot! I shouldn't have said that.

His family gasped in shock.

“Shame on you!” Tío Berto glared at him from a couple feet away.

Abuelita advanced on the man, chancla still in his face. The man backed up on the bench he was sitting on. He was standing now and had his hands up in surrender. Miguel couldn’t do anything to stop her tirade against the musician and was just regretting coming to the plaza in the first place.

“My grandson is a sweet little angelito, perrito, cielito.” She looks back tenderly at Miguel, who is nervously smiling at her.

It turned into shock when abuelita shoved la chancla further at the man and he fell off the bench.

“He wants no part of your music, mariachi. You keep away from him!”

Now you know why I never said anything.

The man scrambles to back up, grabbing his guitar and sombrero with a yelp and runs off. Abuelita puts her sandal back on.

“Aye, pobrecito! Oh, estás bien mijo.” She smothers Miguel in a hug.

After kissing his head a couple times, she grabs his shoulders and pulls him back enough to see his face. Miguel is gasping from lack of oxygen.

“You know better than to be here in this place!”

Her face pinches in sternness, “You will come home, now!”

Miguel watches her walk off in despair. Tío Berto gives him a stern glare before following abuelita and Rosá turns on one leg, sends a mocking smirk, and turns again to follow as well.

Stupid Rosá. Of course, she doesn't get caught being rude.

Miguel sighed. He slung the shoe shining kit’s strap over his head but as he is leaving, he notices some flyers for the talent show. He had never given it much thought before but that mariachi's suggestion replays in his mind.

Maybe I can sneak out to play. Or maybe I can convince Mamá or Papá to let me go watch?

When he sees no one from his family is looking, he grabs one and stuffs it in the kit. He takes off after them.

“How many times have we told you, the plaza is crawling with Mariachis!”

“Yes, Tío Berto.” Miguel monotonously replied.

Maybe if you just let me be happy you wouldn't find me to be such a bother.

As they are walking, they passed by an old blue truck filled with cempasúchiles. Dante, a stray dog that Miguel looks after, sees the family pass by.

“Arf!” He smiles and chases after Miguel. Dánte starts to run around Miguel. Miguel tries to shoo Dante away.

Can today get any worse?

“No, no, no, no!” He tells him quietly.

“Hah! Go away! You, go!” Abuelita takes her sandal off again and starts swinging it at Dánte.

Dánte managed to dodge every swing, before running off into the nearest ally way.

“It’s just Dante!” Miguel tried to assure her.

It doesn’t stop Abuelita from throwing her shoe after Dánte.

“Yelp!” The shoe hit its mark.

Miguel winced at the sound.

I hope he's okay.

“Never name a street dog! They’ll follow you forever. Now, go get my shoe.”

Miguel huffed and walked into the alley. Now that Abuelita was gone Dante came scurrying out from the street back into the alley.

“Woof!” Dante jumped and knocked Miguel over.

Miguel smiled and laughed as Dante stood on his stomach licking his face.

“I’m glad you’re okay Dante. Have you seen Abuelita’s sandal?”

Dante barked and retrieved the sandal from around the corner. He brought the slobbered shoe to Miguel and sat.

“Good boy, Dante! I owe you a treat later kay? See ya, Dante!” Miguel grabbed the shoe and ran back to his family.

#Coco #coco fanfiction #coco fandom #coco fic #miguel #abuelita #elena rivera #rosa rivera #dante #mama imelda #mama coco #coco au

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"Firth Idaho Cheap car insurance quotes zip 83236

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1) I'm looking to buy a car soon after I pass my driving test in 2 weeks. I'm 20, I'll be turning 21 in November. I seen that the insurance price for a 17-20 year old is around 2400 and the price for a 21-24 year old is around 2000. If I were to get insurance 2 months before my 21st birthday, would I be able to pay 2 monthly rates of the 17-20 year old price and then convert onto the 21-24 year old price? Or am I stuck with the 20 year old price for one year? 2) If I were to set the voluntary excess to a higher amount to get a lower premium, would I be able to change the voluntary excess when I renew my car insurance? Or is it possible to change it every month if I chose to pay monthly? Thanks.""

""New driver, car, insurance etc..?""

I've started saving for my first car, driving lessons and tests, and obviously insurance. Any tips on choosing a car, and a teacher? How much would it cost, roughly? Detailed answers really appreciated, thankyou x""

How much do you pay for car insurance per year?

i pay $3000 a year on car insurance, im 22, female, 3 points on my license and drive a v8 mustang, red. progressive. NJ HOW MUCH DO YOU PAY? please put everything i put above, but for you, survey for college class. thanks for helping!""

Please help! I'm looking for an affordable health coverage plan (not Healthy N.Y. or any medicaid programs-

I don't qualify for these programs.. As I make too much-but not enough to afford health insurance. My husband takes meds. everyday 3times daily. I'm getting quite scared. Can anyone help!! Thank you!

How much would car insurance be for me?

Does anybody know how much (on average) car insurance is for an 18 year old with no accidents/tickets? I'm thinking about getting my first car by Dec. 2012 (or maybe early 2013). Of course it will be a used car (probably a sedan from somewhere between 2005 - present) since it's my first car (idk if that matters w/ the insurance, i think it does)

What is the average cost for home owners insurance in illinois?

I'm trying to get average cost of insurance for the south and southwest suburban areas of the chicago area.

Can an insurance company pull up police records?

Can an insurance company pull up police records on me without my consent?

What can I do about car insurance from another state? PLEASE HELP!?

Okay basically here's the story. I'm 19, I live with my parents in Wisconsin but I'm trying to move back to Pennsylvania with my aunt and uncle. However I'm not in school at the moment. Apparently if I moved to PA, I'd have to pay 278 dollars more a month through Geico because I'd be living in a different state. I already have a job set up there and all so they could obviously see my paycheck is not from Wisconsin so I can't just lie or something lol. I really know nothing about insurance and how I can work this out without paying that much more. Can anyone help me with other options I could have?""

Do you need insurance for motorcycle if under 21?

i just passed my course and the coach I had told us that you are not required to have insurance if your 21 or over and wear a helmet so I asked her what about people under 21, she said it didnt say anything in the papers so she doesnt know.. i was wondering if any of you know if it is legal not to have insurance. im 18, live in florida, and wear a helmet, thanks!""

""Insurance group 19, how much does it cost?""

its a mercedes gl 320, diesel. How mcuh does insurance group 19 cost?""

Can taking drivers ed save my parents money on car insurance?

i need to know how much, if any, people save on average""

How much is insurance?

So.. I turn 16 real soon, and found a 2003 Mercury Marauder for sale, it was cheap. How much would insurance be? I'm a boy if that helps, its a 4.6 liter V8, a Mustang Cobra engine. Please, I have to hurry for it!!""

How much will car insurance cost me for a 2000 - 2005 Acura RSX?

I'm 18 years old, I live in California, and I've had a car accident in the rain in November 2013. Any guess of how much it would cost me? Not planning to get the Type-S. Thank You! Note: I'm looking for a old (year 2000 - 2005) type of sport car. If insurance will cost me high for this Acura RSX, may you give me any suggestions of which car you'd recommend me getting?""

How Much Would A 17 Year Old With A G2 Pay For Insurance For A 1995 Geo Metro Hatchback in Toronto?

Im planning on getting my first car but the insurance is holding me back. Please Help.What Company do you suggest? Maybe you know someone with the same car and around the same age.

Should we have socialist car insurance?

Is it unfair that people pay different amounts for their car insurance? Doesthis constitute discrimination against people who have to pay more? Should we socialise it so that we all pay the same rate? Why or why not? :-)

How much is car insurance for a range rover a month?

I'm almost 16 and I wanted to know how much is car insurance for a Range Rover HSE, since that's the car i want.""

I cancel my car insurance because I sold my car.?

I was told by the car insurance company that I have my car insurance that I would have a laspe in my insurance. I was also told that I would not be able to purchase insurance with another company. Why is this? Why should I keep my insurance if I don't have a car and won't be purchasing one for awhile?

Do I need car insurance ?

Ok so u just got my learners permit today and my mom said she's pretty sure I don't need car insurance that I'm automatically covered since I'm a minor and can only drive in the car when they are in it so am I covered I live in Tampa Florida if that matters I just want to start driving immediately but dad says I need to make sure I'm under his policy so I can drive

What's the cheapest 1 day car insurance?

How much does your car insurance cost? (teens)?

Adults may answer too. Answer how old you are, what kind of coverage you have and with who and what you drive and how much your insurance is :) I'm 16 and I only have basic liability with geico and I drive a 99 saturn sc2 and I think my monthly bill is around $60""

Which cars tend to provide the most affordable insurance rates?

Compacts & small sedans that provide the lowest monthly auto insurance rates.

What is the cheapest car insurance?

28 yr old. Just need a car that runs for two years. I want to insure it the bare minimum for the cheapest price. What car is the cheapest to insure? Lets say I bought a 95 civic dx, what company is the cheapest to get insurance from? anecdotal experience is fine. Thanks""

Bmw 1992 insurance cost?

what is the insurance cost for 1992 bmw 352i???

Firth Idaho Cheap car insurance quotes zip 83236

Cheapest insurance in Kansas?

Insurance policy that's actually affordable?

I'm 18 and I have a 2006 mitsubishi GS that I have financed. It's value is around 10,000. All the policies I've checked out are over 300 a month. That's ridiculous, I have great grades and no traffic violations what's the deal!!""

Health insurance for 18 year old?

I'm 18 years old. I am moving to California June 1st. I currently have a state insurance, but I wanted to know how I could get a new insurance when I arrive to California. Is there one for minorities such as myself? I am going to be living by myself so I'm not sure how to go about this. I have no money whatsoever, and will be working a minimum wage job. Please help, thank you.""

If you have fully comp insurance & drive somebody elses car & have a bump will it cover damage?

my daughter lent her car to her cousin who has fully comp of her own but she crashed the car will her insurance pay for damage??????????

""New Driver, Buying Used Car, How much is monthly insurance?""

18 years of age, recently got my license more than a month ago. Looking into this 2003 Ford Taurus I found at a dealership (4 door).... Parents are saying insurance will cost around $300 a month! excluding the car payment which will be around $200 a month. For some reason, I don't believe them what so ever with the cost of the insurance. I do have to get full coverage insurance. But thats just ridiculous. New drivers, how much do you pay for insurance. Only answer if your on your own plan.""

Does AAA have good auto insurance?

Can I go on my boyfriends health insurance florida?

I am living with my boyfriend for a year can I go on his health insurance

What is the cheapest car insurance?

I passed my driving licence in August 2012 and i want a small cheap car?

How am I supposed to afford car insurance?

I'm driving uninsured right now because for me to get car insurance is $900 every six months. That would crush me financially right now. Between rent and gas, and what little Starbucks pretends to pay me, not to mention food (and sometimes that's one meal a day, and even then it may be stealing expired sandwiches and pastries from the garbage can at Starbucks). So, it's utterly naive of the government to think of driving as a luxury , when in reality- when you have to travel 20 miles a day to get to work at Starbucks- walking is unrealistic. The bus routes do not go by there, by the way. How the hell do they expect a 24-year old man to afford car insurance, when he has to work to earn the money to pay for it, and he has to drive to work, and in order to drive he has to drive illegally?! The @#*%ing system is completely screwed up if you ask me. Don't get me started on how the hell I'm supposed to afford gas these days, either.""

My first car.. What is the best and cheap on insurance?

im saving up for a car, but this will be the first car i buy. Does anyone know what car is relatively smart, and cheap on insurance for a UK full license? thank you""

Auto Insurance Help....?

I need insurance on my car, and i don't fully own it, my name is on the title and i finaced it so i have a lien on it....i'm only 20 so full coverage is pretty expensive! would it be possible for my dad to be able to add me to his policy?""

I Had A Crash Can Anyone Recommend A Cheap Car Insurer?

Whilst learning to drive I took out learners insurance on my own car which meant I could drive around with someone who was over 21 and had been driving for atleast three years.. During the period of learning I had crash which I was liable for. I am 20 years old and will trun 21 in January. I have now passed my test and am looking to insure my car, can anyone recommend a good cheap insurance company? Thanks""

""Car insurance quote when being out of the country for 4 years, lost no claims bonus?""

anyone got experience of trying to get reasonable car insurance - with full no claims in this country and new zealand, im being penalised for being out of the country and being treated as new driver, anyone got any answers or any insurance companies i could try who would be sympathetic""

Best non-owner liability coverage insurance?

What is the best non-owner liability coverage insurance in New York ?

How long can I drive my car with out insurance?

I am buying a used car that isn't from a dealership. How long can I drive the car before needing to buy car insurance?

Will insurance pay for an insured car that's borrowed and driven by an uninsured driver?

well, it's a brand new car that belong to my father, i borrowed it and got in an accident because i slip off the road, the car is totaled and im really worried about the coverage. my dad has Infinity-insurance, so yes the car is insured however i do not have any kind of auto-insurance at all nor am i listed in my father's policy. will my father's insurance pays for the car?( if possible, please answer it base on Infinity-insurance)""

Will my car insurance be invalidated?

Phoned my car insurance company today to report a minor bump. The guy asked if I had any points on my license and I told him that yes I have 3 points for speeding. He said that they had no record of this. I don't know why they have no record of this but that's not really the point. Will they try to claim that my insurance is invalid? If they do try this will I be able to claim a refund as I will have been paying them money for literally nothing for the past four years?

Car insurance after customization?

If I put a body kit, new wheels, etc... onto my car will it affect insurance? Do I need to let them know? Before? What about the warranty, I have bumper to bumper warranty.""

What insurance can i get ? need advise?

i am 17 years old and i got a truck and im going to get my license in a few days how can i get insurance for my truck and what will be the cheapest price ? i need advise on what i should do and how i should get insurance like should i get it under my dads insurance or how ?

Average cost for an fr 44 in Florida?

I just trying to determine what the average cost for an fr 44 is in Florida after a dui

Cheap car with cheap insurance?

Im 18 and Ive just passed my driving test and im looking for a good car for around 2500. The cars with cheap insurance are more expensive and the cheap cars have a relatively high insurance cost. The budget for the insurance is not set but I don't want to pay a ridiculous price. Any suggestions on a perfect car which is in my budget but with a low insurance cost? P.S. I understand because im young the insurance will be expensive but if anyone has any advice on how to get cheaper insurance please let me know.

Insurance on 06 sti I need to know?

What is the averge insurance coat for an 06 sti

Any reccomendations for a good dental insurance??

i have health insurance through my job, but they do not offer dental.""

""If your auto insurance expires today, do you get a grace period?""

If so, how long is the grace period?""

How much will I pay for car insurance as a 17 year old in CA?

I am a 17 year old girl, who is going 2 get a nissan versa. I make about $600.00 a month at my job. My parents said they would get me the car. I have to make monthly payments, which would be $250. They have really good credit. How much would insurance cost? What is the best deal I can get? What company should I go to?""

Firth Idaho Cheap car insurance quotes zip 83236

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