#barold bluejeans
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discussion: would gale accept only getting a few decades with his partner because he’s a squishy human OR would he go the lich route a la barry bluejeans
#ramble#bg3#gale dekarios#today i realised that gale would only get 40-60 years with cyra and she’d have centuries without him and i got sad#i’m v curious what everyone else thinks???#bc on one hand he was very willing to just explode but that was probably a guilt thing?#but also i feel like. he wants to do more stuff#maybe i’m just not over barold j. bluejeans turning himself into the essence of his magic to be with his elf wife forever idk#if i had a nickel for every time i became deranged over a human wizard with a rabid elf wife with red hair#i’d have 2 nickels which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice
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Barry, trying to remind himself of who he is in yet another new clone body, as part of his meticulous decade-long plan: "yea let's go ahead and make sure you've got a night light, go swimming when you can, don't eat any fucking dairy, and even tho your mom's dead that momma's boy energy runs DEEP. Also u got hella anxiety and your wife is dead. Have fun! ✌🏻👖 Now lemme talk to the mannequin behind u and tell him I'm a criminal and we gotta break into the moon."
#taz balance#the adventure zone#barry bluejeans#if u cant tell im on the reunion tour in my relisten#and i still love barold. ofc.
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It’s me, Barold!
#taz#taz balance#taz b#taz bal#taz fanart#Barry bluejeans#ipre#ipre fanart#barold#he NEEDS HIS MULLET#PEOPLE#it is the way.#also’’ love doing disguised self portraits as fanart#secrets#the zone cast#the adventure zone#my art
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Barold Bluejeans
He loves his wife
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A comprehensive list of Lup sensations (Lupsations?) documented 24-72 hours post emerging from body regrowth chamber, dictated by Lup Taaco Bluejeans:
Wind - cold but good
Sunlight - warm, so so good. please open all of the windows, especially for naptime
Grass - noooooo nono no nope sorry it’s too much :(
Carpet - mmmmmm kind of having a bad feet time here. Socks help a lot though
Wood - rough but not bad
Glass - smooth like a shark >:)
Water - warm is good but the second it gets room temp I gotta vamoosh. It’s freezing
Soap - icky but similar to the chamber goo, so manageable
Hair - why does my own hair feel weird? what the fuck? why have I never noticed that?
Fabric - cotton and polyester is fine. Anything with lace is too itchy, which fucking sucks because all my silk shit has lace on it. velvet is now on thin fucking ice. I can forgive denim because I know it would never hurt me on purpose
Barry - literally perfect do not fucking change a thing I’m so fucking serious. Barold I swear to fuck—
Hugs - yes love ‘em hello please give me many many hugs thank you :>
Bed - good, but needs more pillows
Taako - good, but please take off the lace I’m sorry it’s itchy :(
Couch - velvet, but Barry laid a cotton sheet over it, so we’re good for now
Taako’s cats - good
Magnus’ dogs - good
Merle’s plants - Merle do not fucking bring that fern in my vicinity! I will raze it, I’ll do it!
Magic casting - tinglier than I remember? Also exhausting, imma need to hold off on magic for a bit
Soup - soup :)
Herbal Tea - good but now the sprig of rosemary feels weird in my mouth :/
Family - perfect
Home - perfect
Life - good :3
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YEAH BAROLD BOOBUES (in reference to the back folds post)
GIVE IT UP FOR BARRY BLUEJEAAAAAAAANS
[ID: a notebook sketch of Barry Bluejeans from The Adventure Zone.
He is a fat trans man with sparse body and facial hair and a mullet and square glasses. He is wearing booty jorts.
He is standing with his back to the viewer, showing off his incredible back folds and his denim-clad butt. He is looking over his shoulder with a relaxed, smug smile.
Underneath the drawing there is an audio queue that says “*CROWD ROAR*”. End description.]
#ent’s art#taz balance#the adventure zone#the adventure zone balance#taz balance spoilers#barry bluejeans#taz barry#YEAAAAAA
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Pretty huge Doughnuts
The word count's droppin', but I'm not stoppin' - @taznovembercelebration day 15. Prompt "baby"
Read below or on Ao3. Missed yesterday's catch it here.
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“You’re doing what now?”
“Planning Lup a baby shower.”
“Lup’s pregnant?” Barry’s voice is doing something high pitched and weird and Taako’s unsure exactly what the fuck is going on, but someone’s forgotten they have like 8 PhDs.
“Wanna think that through, Barold? Do you think that maybe she might have told you if she’d cracked that one.”
Barry looks less panicked. “Yeah… fair. Uh.”
“Anyway.” Taako ploughs on valiantly, he’ll pull this one out at a later date, once Barold thinks he’s forgotten. “I’m planning a baby shower for her.”
“If she’s not pregnant…” Barry starts.
“Which she isn’t.” Taako adds, helpfully.
“Yeah. Uh. Which she isn’t.” Barry looks pale still, poor, sweet idiot. “... then why are you throwing her a baby shower?”
“It took her more than nine months to birth the thesis” Taako says, he shrugs because it’s obvious, obviously. He doesn't know why literally no one so far has understood. They're definitely the problem.
Barry’s still scrunkling his face up like Taako's being irrational. The joke's on him because Taako's never irrational.
“She’s had a tonne of appointments.”
“Uh huh.”
"She brought new life into the world."
"The necromancy thing isn't part of the main thesis after, you know, the legal issues."
“I meant the concepts, not the zombie. Anyway the university are cowards for not embracing him." Before they get into the ethics of free education after reanimation Taako diverts Barry again. "She had to do that scan.”
“What scan? Wait, Taako, do you mean the MRIs she did for the data collection?”
“Now you get it.”
“I…”
“Cha’boy found this banner.” Taako unfurls it dramatically and holds it up, it’s gold and spangly and far too much, which is, of course, the perfect amount.
“Congratulations, it’s a…” Reads Barry.
“PhD!” Taako replies. “I’m gonna write it in and add flames. It’ll be great.”
“She’ll love the flames.” Says Barry, probably trying to tactfully dissuade Taako from the rest. Optimistic fool.
“I made a game for us where we have to guess the circumference of her thesis. There's prizes.”
“Is the thesis measurement bound or unbound?” Asks Barry far too fast. Oooooh, Taako has him on board now. Suddenly he loves BaPhD showers.
“No can do, Bluejeans, you wouldn’t want to cheat, would you? Wouldn’t want to ruin Lup’s special day by making it all about winning?”
“No.” Says Barry, unconvincingly.
“No cheating, Barold!”
Barry doesn’t say anything. Taako never should have taken Bluejeans under his wing, he’s created a monster.
“What’s a baby snack?”
"Mush?"
"No, like, for this."
“Are you asking what a baby thesis would eat?” Barry sounds more delighted by the concept than he should be.
“Baby researchers, I assume.” Chews them up, spits them out, not that Taako’s bitter. He’s fine. He can come back any time. Any time the police get round to officially clearing him. Not that it’s a problem, he’s not bothered about his degree anyway. He’s peachy. It’s not weird to see Lup get her doctorate before him when they were supposed to do it together.
Barry seems to realise he’s triggered some kind of horror even though Taako's definitely doing an incredibly normal face. He's going to try sand be nice about it.
“What are PhD snacks?” He asks before Barry can say anything kind.
“Pretty huge doughnuts.” Barry replies without hesitation. Taako knew there was a reason he kept him around.
Taako makes a note in his phone. Giant doughnuts mean giant frying, mean big oil, mean big pan.
“Why’re we making big doughnuts?” Kravitz asks, cracking the door to his room.
Of course it was food discussion that summoned him from his regimented work schedule (ignoring what he needed to do because he got distracted by other things and then panic typing up everything for his deadline.) It bodes well for Taako’s ongoing wooing, the stuff about hearts and stomachs was true probably, but Taako was also hoping to make his way to Kravitz’s di…
“Taako’s throwing Lup a surprise baby shower.” Barry cuts through Taako’s wandering thoughts. “We’re planning the menu.”
“Oh.” Says Kravitz. “For her PhD? Neat!”
-
Hey, hey, enjoyed that? Find the next prompt here!
#TAZNC#Taz november challenge#The adventure zone#TAZ Balance#Taz FIC#Noodyl Writes#Thanks for reading - truly it's been so lovely to see people enjoying
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Something short and sweet for @taznovembercelebration day 10
Day 10: sick
The Taaco twins have one cardinal rule: if you receive a text consisting of SOS and a number, you call your twin in that many minutes and give them an excuse to leave wherever they are. No questions asked.
Read it on AO3
Taako's having a nondescript night at home when his phone lights up with a text.
lupdelup
SOS 7
He waits exactly seven minutes, then calls her.
“Hello?” She should get an Oscar for that greeting alone. It's a perfect tone of slight confusion with a tinge of concern.
“Lup,” he puts on a performance of his own, making his voice sound weak and strained, “you gotta come home right now.”
“Taako? Are you okay? What's going on?”
“I'm really sick,” he lays dramatically on the couch for effect, tossing an arm over his eyes, “I haven't been able to keep anything down, and we're out of tums and tylenol.”
“Alright, it's okay.” Her voice quiets a bit through the phone as she talks to the shmuck that she was convinced to go on a date with, “I'm sorry, I gotta go. My brother-”
“He's a grown man.” The guy's voice is quiet, seeing as the phone isn't on speaker, but Taako's able to pick it out. “Sit down.” He sounds like a douche.
“Lup,” he groans, “my stomach hurts so bad, and I'm burning up. I think I need to go to the hospital.”
“He's in a really bad way,” she says to the guy, “I need to go help him.”
He can only get a vague impression of the guy grumbling, but Lup says goodbye to him and a moment later, she says into the phone, “what a fucking asshole.”
He drops the ailing brother act, “that bad, huh?”
“Ugh,” he hears her car door slam, “me telling him I needed to leave just now was the most words I've been able to say in a row all night.”
“Gross.”
“Just wait ‘til I get home, it gets worse.”
“I'll see you soon.”
“Thank youuuuu.”
They hang up, and Taako goes back to his show. About 25 minutes later, the door swings open and slams shut.
“This fucking guy-”
About a month later, Taako's home alone again while Lup's out on a date. But he isn't waiting for an SOS, because this date in particular is with one Barry Bluejeans. Lup probably wouldn't admit it, but she's been cuckoo for him from the moment she laid her eyes on him and he opened his mouth. As far as Taako's concerned, they've been going on dates for ages now, they just lied to themselves and said they were hanging out as friends. But this date is for realsies. “We said it was romantic and everything,” Lup had told him a few days prior, buzzing with excitement.
Lup said she'd be back later that night, but he's honestly not expecting to hear from her until morning. So when his phone lights up, he's confused.
lupdelup
SOS 2
Taako scoffs and goes against SOS protocol, texting her back:
🌮🔔
No
lupdelup
what?
🌮🔔
Unless you give me a reason, absolutely not
lupdelup
I thought the whole point of this system was no questions asked
🌮🔔
I've had to listen to you talk about this guy for YEARS
You get all wistful about it every single time
If you tell me he's a creep or a douche or secretly racist or something, ill call you, but im not giving you a bail out call if you're just getting all in your own head overthinking and freaking out about being on a date with THE barold bluejaens.
lupdelup
Taako please i dont know if i can do this
🌮🔔
Of course you can, you're LUP
He's lucky that you're into him and i know that he knows that
Tell you what
I'll give you an SOS 60
lupdelup
60 is so many though
🌮🔔
I'll call you in an hour. If you still want to bail, then bail. But go back to your man and enjoy it. From what I know about him, it'll be the best date you've been on in months
lupdelup
Maybe even years.
🌮🔔
I'll talk to you in an hour
lupdelup
Fine
Asshole.
Taako sets himself a timer for 60 human minutes and goes about his evening. When it goes off, he considers not calling and waiting to see how long it'll take her to notice. But he's a man of his word, especially for Lup, so he calls. It rings, and rings, and rings. Taako's hopeful, Lup almost always picks up SOS calls on the second ring. It rings one more time before he's sent to voicemail.
The phone beeps in his ear.
“Your call has been forwarded to our automatic voice message system. Lup Taaco isn't available right now. Leave a message after the tone.”
“Told you,” he says, and hangs up.
Lup doesn't come home until morning.
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the adventure zone is wild because in the beginning Griffin named Barry Blue jeans Barry Blue Jeans because he *refused* to call him Scarzard Hallwinter or whatever his name was in the book and his family ran with it as joke and Barold J. Bluejeans ended up being a life changing character for an immaculate story that stomps your heart out. Every goof ties into the story and it usually ends up making you cry your eyes out.
And relisting to it so wild because you realize how much has changed, how much as been around from the beginning, and it makes you wonder how much griffin actually had planned. he really pays attention to things his brother and dad dont even think about. im pretty sure he made up the Red Robe storyline halfway through but because he put so many detials into is seems like it was forshadowed from the start..
God I should relisten to TAZ again.
#the adventure zone#taz balance#barry bluejeans#the mcelroy's#lup taako#taako#merle highchurch#magnus burnsides
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taz b the first time around is like "oh shit this red robe guy is scary hope the boys can stop him" and taz b the second time is just "oh look it's my guy the nervous wreck and blushing mess barold j bluejeans. sure hope his wife's doing ok in that there umbrella"
#all intimidation is lost on me at this point that's just my boy barry#taz#taz b#taz balance#barry bluejeans
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I do be ruminating about barry bluejeans on this fine night. It is three am and my mind is full of barold. Love my boy. His name is now a verbal stim and it’s glorious
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Me, every single time I relisten to balance: I'm ready this time, I'm prepared, I won't freak out I promise.
Griffin: a pair of pants - sturdy, denim, and blue.
Me:
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2022 Fic List!
This is a compilation of all the fics I've posted on Ao3 in 2022, plus some ficlets I like that I posted here! As always, Journal Pages is still being updated but I'm not gonna put it on this list because I made it last year (I think??)
Memories, Just a Bit To the Left
Being kidnapped was, honestly, not incredibly horrible. It wasn’t a good thing, for sure, for sure, but Barry could deal with it. Was he low on hit points? Yeah, and it was shitty. Did he feel like he was going to die? Occasionally, that’s just something that happens sometimes, you know? But it wasn’t all bad. Some of the gerblins were nice. They gave him some water, kicked him around a bit more, gave him an orange that they refused to peel so Barry just kind of spat the peel out as he went. A solid three out of five stars.
But he wasn’t too worried about the whole thing. Even as low as his hit points got, he knew that Taako would come find him. It was just a matter of if he would find Barry too late.
This was for the 2021 Candlenights exchange and it is killer, I think. I really enjoyed getting to write this and explore the space of this AU.
Archaeology Excavation on My Body
“How do you always know everything?” he asked instead of rising to her bait. “That’s the secret I want to know, ma’am. You’ve got prying eyes anywhere? Listening ears?”
"I run a secret organization on the moon,” the Director said dryly. “I’ve grown accustomed to knowing both everything and absolutely nothing at the same time. If you don’t want me to know, then I won’t know. I’ll never bring it up again. I’m simply offering us a way to, uh-” she glanced at the wall. It had been twenty minutes since the Reclaimers went offline. “Pass the time. And perhaps a way to help manage your pain a little better. No one else has noticed, Angus, but you do tend to limp a bit.”
Fuck, Angus thought.
This one was a pure vent fic, but I'm glad other people could relate to it anyway! I love giving characters I like everything that's wrong with me.
Tedious Familiarity
Déjà vu. Noun. A feeling of having already experienced the present situation. A tedious familiarity.
Barry Bluejeans woke up in a cave, fresh out of a pod filled with green goop, and saddled with an unsettling feeling that he had been here before. If you had asked forty-year-old Barry if he would follow instructions left by a talking coin, he probably would have asked you what type of drugs you were on. But, y’know, fifty… two? Fifty-one? How old was he? Fifty-two sounded right. But, y’know, fifty-two years old Barry didn’t really have that many other places to turn, so this couldn't be all that bad.
Barold my beloved!! I love any take on Barry's years alone and I thought I'd give myself a stab at it! Or several stabs, if we're going by death count. I really like how this one came out!!
Heart-Shaped Stickers
A collection of my blupjeans week prompts for 2022!
As seen on the tin sldkfsd.
Keep Your Friends Close (And the Lich Who Gives You Cryptic Advice Closer)
“There’s a lot you don’t know and I can’t tell you yet,” the Red Robe said. “And I’m genuinely sorry about that, Magnus, but right now, from the Bureau’s perspective, I’m not the good one.”
“From your perspective?” Magnus asked.
“From my- I…” he stopped again, contemplating, as if no one had ever asked him this question before. "I try to be, I think."
AKA: Magnus has questions and no one from the Bureau is giving him answers. He goes looking for the one person who will.
This baby is my pride and joy of this year, I think. It has always taken me Ages to write any chaptered fic but I'm very very proud of this one.
Autumn-Themed Notebook
Prompt fills for TAZ November Celebration 2022.
Again, as seen on the tin!
Now onto the Tumblr Ficlets!!
This list would not be complete without this ficlet about Magnus, Carey, and Killian discussing Magnus's top surgery or this one about a heart-shaped locket Barry picked up. Some other favorites from this year include:
Voidfished Taako interacting with Red Robe Lup and Barry (x)
June/The Temporal Chalice finding Barry's worst memory (x)
Merle and Hekuba talking post Story and Song (x)
Lucretia and Magnus talking about emotions and the stars (x)
Lucretia discovering the umbrastaff broke early (x)
Barry and Lucretia forming a truce to fuck over Governer Kalen (x)
Lucretia trying to discover who's stealing from the Fantasy Costco (x)
Taako taking the fall for all of Lup's deaths (x)
The Starblaster Crew stealing Magnus's shirts while he's dead (x)
Taako, Kravitz, and the mafia - Werewolf edition! (x1, x2, x3)
I gotta stop there or else this will go on forever sldfksdf. Let me know if you have any particular favorites from what I've written this year :D! It'd mean the world to me. My writing tag is #ise cube writing as always and my ao3 is IntrovertedHappiness if you wanna go check me out there!
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im playing baldurs gate as barold jarold bluejeans and its funny because the npcs try to flirt with him and hes just like
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ID: A digital comic. First image is of Magnus, Taako, Lup, Lucretia, and Merle resting on a mall bench with a bunch of shopping bags. Magnus and Lucretia sitting opposite their companions. They all look in various degrees of bored and tiredness. Merle, a dwarf man, is asleep. Magnus, a human man, rests his head on his arms as his hands. Taako, an elven man in a wizard hat and a hoodie, mutters, "Who's great idea was it to give the van keys to Barold and Capt'n Port? It's gonna take like, two hours to track them down." Lup, holding a cellphone in one hand, raises her other hand to her face and shouts, "BLUE!" into the air. The second image shows a zoomed-out view of the group in the center of the busy mall. The following panel shows the same view, now with a word bubble from somewhere on the second floor, a responding "JEANS!" The third image zooms back in on the crew, all looking puzzled about the shouting, save Merle, who is still asleep. End ID.
it's their version of marco polo
@blupjeansweek beginnith! it's not midnight for me so this counts for day 1 prompt: bluejeans
#blupjeansweek#blupjeansweek2022#blupjeans#the adventure zone#my art#taz#taz balance#herbgerbart#okay time for sleeps#ipre#taako#lup#barry bluejeans#magnus burnsides#lucretia#davenport
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