#babe so few words in your sentences are of substance but also without that connective tissue your sentences make no logical sense. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kitnita · 4 months

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wyatt johnston postgame — LAK vs DAL — 01.16.24

[um, not to make more than it maybe should but, like, have you talked to joe about, when you get put on the line that he’s kinda been on, about what it’s like to play with those guys and things like that?] a little bit. i think, um — not as much, you know, kinda like today or the past couple days but … just kinda, always? just kinda the way that those guys kind of stay tight and they’re always connected, always, um … just making small plays to each other. i feel like that’s one thing that he’s always kinda talked about, and that’s, you know, we try to take that from them, they obviously — um, you know, play really well together. um, so yeah, i just think kinda learning and then seeing them play and then, um, for me, just trying to jump in and, um, do, do the best thing to help them. [playing next to roope, just, what do you see from him and how he’s able to drive a line? he does good on the PK and powerplay too, but, how he’s able to play.] yeah, um, i mean, he’s a lot of fun to play with, he can, obviously, shoot the puck really well, um … really good vision, can make some really good plays and obviously he’s, you know, one of the fastest players in the league, so, i mean, he can really do it all, which is — you know, makes him a lot of fun to play with. and, um, yeah, i think for me it’s just … um, i mean, trying to find him, i mean, he’s pretty good at finding open spaces and he’s good at finding you when you’re in an open space. um, yeah, i mean i think overall, just a lot of fun to play with. um, yeah, obviously, you have a really special player.

#hockey #stars #dallas stars #wyatt johnston #& the rest by mention:#joe pavelski #jason robertson #roope hintz #wyatt's interviews are quite literally nothing but filler words & phrases in his beyond fried vocal fry and yet ............ i am fond #but it makes putting text on gifs of him a nightmare.#babe so few words in your sentences are of substance but also without that connective tissue your sentences make no logical sense.#ANYWAY i cannot get over this #apparently pavs & wyatt just routinely sit around and talk about how connected robo & roope are!!#they're just like me ........#z:edit

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sweethazzababy · 6 years

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Banana Boy

Plot: Harry farts too much and you get annoyed

Warnings: absolutely none

Word Count: 1.4k

A/N- i don’t really know what sparked this idea in my head, but the minute i started i ended up with this! this short one shot is purely for laughs, and something I had a lot of fun writing lmao so pls enjoy!!

“Harry?”

“Hmm?” He hums, the vibrations from his chest tingling your cheek. His eyes are focused on the television while you are drowning in pure disgust.

“What is that unearthly smell?” You scrunch your nose, eventually using your hand to block it from consuming your sinuses.

“Oops.” He lightly chuckles, eyes still trained on the screen avoiding the death glare you’re surely giving him right now. Your face twists as the smell becomes stronger, yet Harry doesn’t even seem fazed by it. And then another one hits.

“Harryyyy...” You whine loudly, pinching your nose and pushing yourself off of him to get as far away as possible.

“Hey, where you going?” Harry sadly asks with a pout. “We haven’t finished the episode yet and you movin’ around is distracting me. I need my cuddle buddy.” He pats his chest, empty of your presence.

At this point, you’re already on the other side of your king size bed with your arms crossed and your eyes pierced on the TV. You can feel his gaze on you as he sits there all lonely, wanting you back in his arms.

“No one wants their cuddle buddy to fart every fucking 2 seconds!” You fire back abruptly, scrunching your nose once more at the thought of it. Harry doesn’t fart often, but when he does, boy are they silent and deadly. It also just isn’t one or two, it’s multiple in a row and it’s absolutely disgusting.

“Hate to break it to yeh love, it’s a natural human function.” He tries to reason with you in a lighthearted mocking tone. A smirk is still on full display, knowing how you try so hard to stay annoyed, forcing your smile away—but most of the time you can’t because his cute dimples throw you off and you just end up wallowing in your own self pity, realizing you can’t stand you’re ground.

“Natural human function my ass..” You grumble lowly. “No fart like that, with that kind of smell, is natural. I don’t know what kind of substances you’re putting into your body—sir—because that is definitely not normal.” Your arms are still tightly crossed against your chest fed up.

Harry chuckles at your stubbornness. “Hmm let’s see what I ate today shall we?” Harry suggests, tapping his finger dramatically against his chin as he tries so desperately hard to remember the day’s events. “For breakfast, I had two english muffins with sugar free apricot jam. Delectable, let me tell yeh...then for lunch I demolished that cranberry walnut salad from that cafe we went to this afternoon. Also delicious, 10/10 recommend.” Harry continues, connecting his ring finger and thumb together emphasizing his approval.

“Aanndd for dinner, we ate grilled honey lime chicken, some roasted broccoli, and sweet potato. Cooked by muah.” He says, pointing to himself with such pride his eyes glow. After listing off his meals of the day, he looks at you with a cheeky smile curving his lips. You, however, don’t give in. He just finds this quick little banter amusing while you’re suffocating from his deadly farts. Not funny.

“All healthy and well balanced, my love.” He adds, trying to win you over.

“You didn’t have any snacks in between meals hmm?” You counter, your competitiveness taking over because of your desire to desperately win this battle.

“If I recall correctly, I had a banana before I went to the gym early this morning before breakfast—great source of fiber,” He adds trying to prove to you that his farts are indeed normal, because in his mind, anything healthy won’t make you gassy. “And then I had another banana an hour or two before we went to lunch, and then I had a half of another banana after dinner.” Harry’s eyebrows furrow together as he glances out into space trying to retrieve the memory of the previous hours of the day.

A corner of your mouth lifts into a slight smirk realizing you finally discovered the culprit of the God awful, unknown gases coming from this boys ass.

“What?” He asks lowly and his smile disappearing as he’s noticing the deviousness behind your smirk.

A breathy chuckle slips from your lips, and now you’re the one who’s amused, at the sight of Harry sitting helplessly and completely out of the loop on the other end of the bed. This time, his arms are crossed with a pouty lip.

Before you have the chance to answer, he lets out yet another fart only this one is extremely loud. His cheeks heat up quickly, embarrassed. You burst into laughter, the situation no longer grossing you out purely because he has no clue why his digestive system is acting up, but you do. He’s getting frustrated, brows pulling together and his fingers picking at his lip.

“Damn H-Harry control it...please!” You find it difficult to get a sentence out as you laugh so extremely hard you could pee yourself. But still, Harry is just slumped in his side of the bed, as his eyes squint at you.

“You’re a jerk.” Harry states, shaking his head with his tongue poking at the inside of his cheek in disapproval, as his eyes shift back to the TV. Only now, a small smirk ghosts over his features because he can only go so long without laughing along with you. Your laugh is one of the most contagious he’s ever heard and holding his in might make him explode.

“Bananas, Harry.” You say after calming down a bit. His head snaps to look at you, and his face twists in confusion.

“ Pardon?” His tone lifts when he hears your random declaration.

The expression on his face is just too priceless and giggles start erupting from your lips in hysterics. “B-banan—“ A giggle cuts you off from your own words. “Bananas!”

Still not understanding what you’re trying to say—because in fact to him, you look like a complete and utter mental person spewing out random words—he raising a skeptical brow wondering what has taken over you. “I think you have gone bananas babe, because I haven’t got a clue what you’re talking about...” He mumbles, taking the opportunity to use clever play-on-words, but it only makes you laugh harder.

“Why did you eat so many bananas today?” You manage to ask between your fit of giggles. Harry has always loved bananas, his passion for the fruit is extremely funny. But today, his dose was a bit too much and you are positive that is the reason why he can’t stop farting. At this point, you’re surprised he hasn’t turned into one.

“I like bananas Y/N. Nothin’ wrong with that’ “ He defends himself, his face flushed.

“Okay, but Harry maybe you like bananas toooo much...” You trail off, hinting at your reasoning. He just looks at you with a blank stare, still not understanding.

“What are you goin’ on about?” He exasperates, peering at you. All of the sudden, his eyes green irises widen at the realization. “Are you implying that my love for bananas is causing me to fart too much?”

You hold in your laugh, and just nod with amusement. Harry immediately rolls his eyes as he gives you a lopsided smirk.

“Sorry darling, but you’re gonna have to deal with it because there is no way I am giving up bananas.” He states matter-of-factly. “Now please get back over here, I miss you.” His eyes sparkle as he gazes at you lovingly from the otherside of the bed. Giving in, you crawl your way back into his strong arms with your head resting in the crook of his neck.

After a few minutes of peace and quite, with hum of Friends in the background, Harry shifts to get up from the bed.

“What are you doing?” You whine since you just got comfortable laying on his chest.

“I, am going to get myself a banana, because I want one, and you are not going to stop me.” Harry cheekily remarks, a goofy grin plastered on his face. You giggle rolling your eyes, and watch him approach the door.

When he steps forward to open the bedroom door to make his way to the kitchen yet another fart comes out of his ass.

“Harryyyy!” You groan, digging your face into your pillow and you just hear him cackle walking out of the room.

Such a banana boy.

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