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rofics · 7 years

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Hidden omega (Part 57)

Fandom: Bts (Got7 + Big Bang + B.A.P + Monsta X + Seventeen + Block B+Vixx+TVXQ+Exo) Who doesn’t love a good ensemble Pairing: Namjoon x Everybody Genre: Smut/Fluff/Angst Au: Canon / Omegaverse au Length: 5k

Chapter 1 ! Previous Chapter ! Next Chapter !

Summary: Bro date with Namjoon and Seokjin, then Daehyun and Namjoon gets it on with some smexxy time

Namjoon had started to make a normalcy with B.a.p, something that made him happy. It wasn't before he had sat down with Seokjin for lunch one evening (that the older had made for them) that he had realized just how important it was.

Seokjin was without a doubt the person who was most supportive of Namjoon being courted by everybody else. He seemed to be very invested in Namjoon happiness, but at the same time he was also the best at treating Namjoon like nothing had changed another thing that made Namjoon happy.

The older eagerly told about his time with the TVXQ members, leaving Namjoon smiling a soft smile as he rested his head on his arms while looking at his hyung. While it was clear that there was no magical waving of wand to fix all of Seokjin's issues it was also clear that he was slowly getting better and it was positively affecting his relationship with BTS as well.

There was sometimes when he looked at Taehyung and Seventeen, or he looked at Jimin and Exo (that one he kinda felt bad about, since he felt very much like he was waving an omega in front of them knowing that they couldn't have him no matter how much they wanted somebody like Jimin and needed him) he was worried that he had made the wrong choices as a leader. That he had pushed the pack apart instead of healing it.

The thing was that Namjoon knew Seventeen's feelings for Taehyung and he knew that Seokjin did as well, but he also knew that Taehyung was never going to notice it. He was never going to find it out unless told to him and nobody was going to.

But then he looked at Seokjin, at Hoseok and Jungkook saw the healing all of them was going through and how their healing was helping them become closer to their pack and strengthening their bonds. He hoped that he had made the right choice.

“Namjoon?” Seokjin looked at their leader with his head slightly cocked to the side “are you listening to me.”

A blush spread over Namjoon's cheeks, but he smiled flashing his dimples at Seokjin, making Seokjin smile as well. He was almost sure that Namjoon could get out of anything with those, it was good seeing him smile again. “I'm sorry, I was a little distracted. Do you know why Taehyung wasn't at dance practice today? I asked our manager, but he said that everything was okay and not to worry about it.”

“Maybe he finally got tired of seeing you pretending to dance,” Namjoon pouted, but Seokjin just laughed “if manager says he is okay he is okay. But if you are worried we can call Woozi?”

Namjoon shook his head. “The reason for all of this is that I want him to find himself. To show him that I trust him and we don't need to babysit him all the time. I think we treat the maknae line to much like babies sometimes. Especially in a pack it is important that you are all equal, to show that we respect them as people...” he looked at Seokjin who was still just smiling at him “which you know. Which is why you suggested it just so I had this little speech.”

Another pout from the BTS leader which caused Seokjin to laugh a little before holding a mouthful of rice up to his mouth. “Taste this. Jaejoong and I made this using a recipe we found online.” Namjoon dutifully opened his mouth accepting the food.

He still struggled eating anything with fat or to much sugar in it, his body still struggled accepting it, not just from a mental perspective. But as Doctor Choi had warned him, his body wasn't used to eating things like it and would reject it refusing to accept it was food.

When he had told Seokjin the older beta had made it his mission to make more healthy food that was a little more bland that Namjoon could eat. Which was what lead to their lunch dates every time they both had practice. It felt so much like before everything had went to shit.

“It's good, now tell me why you really called me here and asked me to take an extra 30 minutes to eat.” Namjoon couldn't stop himself from putting his hand over Seokjin's at the table when the older had put his chopsticks down.

Seokjin hesitated a second. “I am worried that you are thinking of yourself as a guest with packs instead of being courted. That you aren't focused on seeing how an everyday normalcy is with the pack. I am worried that you still think you have to pick us.” He turned his hand around so they could intertwine their fingers with each other. “Don't see as a rude thing please. I just worry about you since you care so much about us.”

At first Namjoon wanted to disagree with what was being said, he wanted to protest. It felt like it was going against his idea of acting more like he was responsible for his own life and not just... going along with things. But... maybe Seokjin was right, he hadn't even unpacked his clothes from his bag, and he still called BTS his pack... he wasn't really giving anybody a chance. His life still revolved around BTS instead of around himself. “Shouldn't you be happy about it?” Did BTS not actually want him as their packmate? As their omega shouldn't they... shouldn't Seokjin be happy about it?

But Seokjin just shook his head. “At first yeah I was happy, but I have realized something recently. We don't own you, you don't owe us anything. You owe yourself everything though. I want you to be happy. I want you to give yourself a chance to find happiness where it is, if it's with us we will all love you but if it isn't we will all still love and support you. But I also know you. Unless somebody and many times more than one person forces you to prioritize yourself, you don't do it. Since we started as idols, since you didn't present at 18 you stopped caring about yourself and put us, especially the maknae line in front of everybody.”

“So did you.” Namjoon tried to argue, he didn't like the idea that he had given up more than the rest of BTS cause it wasn't right. He had just done what anybody in his position would do.

Seokjin shrugged. “I did. We all did. But I am working on being better as well, to accept that I am important as well. That we both are. That we deserve to be happy. It's hard sometimes and I already have my pack,” he raised their intertwined fingers and kissed the top of Namjoon's hand, “I know we haven't been good at showing. I know I haven't been good at showing it, but we really care about you. “

“Everything was going terrible, I don't blame any of you for what happened. You all had issues as well and you didn't try to hurt me. It isn't you guys fault, I promise.” Seokjin wanted to argue at first. Jungkook had brought it up to him as well, how Namjoon seemed to blame himself instead of who was really to blame, but he also knew that it wasn't the time to argue it at that point. It would be more likely to end in an argument, and Seokjin didn't want to argue with him.

Even if he had gotten better, he still couldn't do confrontations, and he didn't like to talk bad about his own pack. He had talked to Yoongi only a few days before and he decided that it was better for Namjoon and Yoongi to talk everything over when they got to Japan. Maybe it was better for both of them to heal over time, at least he hoped that. God he hoped that. Why was making decisions that could have massive impact so hard? How did Namjoon do it all the time?

They said goodbye, Seokjin heading to record for his solo song and Namjoon heading home finding that he wrote better there than in the studio filled with people constantly looking him over the shoulder. Plus he wanted to work on the song he had promised for their resident bunny.

He was the first person back in the B.a.p dorm. It made him smile and then think back on the time with Seokjin, yeah it was time to stop being a guest. He grabbed both of his bags with clothes and went to the part of the closet that they had cleared for him. He put on some of the newest Big Bang album enjoying Zutter while he started putting away his clothes and other stuff he carried with him.

He couldn't stop himself from sending a picture of himself cleaning and putting things in the right order in the bathroom to Seungri with the caption 'Zutter is my new cleaning song', which earned him a giant sticker of a grinning panda. Because yes Seungri had recently found a collection of panda stickers that he now used instead of words.

Laugh a little at the older idols antics he hadn't noticed that somebody had gotten him and he almost jumped in surprise when a pair of arms wrapped around his stomach and the sugary scent of marshmallows spread around him causing him to smile as he felt a soft kiss on the back of his neck.“You are home early Daehyun.”

“So are you. Finally decided to unpack I see.” Which was surprising that Daehyun could see since he couldn't look over Namjoon's shoulder. He was to short for that instead seemed happy taking in Namjoon’s scent through his shoulder.

“Yeah it seemed like it was about time. You don't mind do you?” Had he overstepped?

Daehyun’s laugh was muffled a little by Namjoon's shoulder. “We almost did it for you, but half your clothes don't actually look like clothes so we weren't sure how to do it.”

That left Namjoon pouting. “It is fashion!”

“Overalls are not fashion.”

“Yes they are!”

Daehyun didn't answer he just laughed finally unwrapping his arms from around Namjoon’s middle raising up on his toes to kiss the other omega's cheek. “I am glad you are here actually. I wanted to talk to you alone.”

Namjoon looked a little bit confused at the omega. “Did I do something wrong?” Oh god. “I'm sorry! I am still new to being an omega, I didn't mean to hurt someone or do something wrong!”

That was not what Daehyun had expected. “Nononono! Namjoon please that was not what I meant. You haven't done anything you are a good omega, but it was about you being an omega. Since you presented so late you never had the chance to do normal omega things.”

“Like what?” Was there a rulebook for being an omega that nobody had ever given Namjoon? Like the secret book of how to put on eyeliner on yourself without looking like an idiot that was somehow also being hidden from Namjoon.

Daehyun looked a little awkward when he shifted his weight from foot to foot like he wasn't sure how to say what he wanted. “You never had time to find yourself, to explore what you like. Many times newly presented omegas will explore and find stuff together, but I don't think you have ever been with an omega alone.”

“Been with like... like sex?” Namjoon blushed, oh my god why was he blushing? HE HAD RAPPED ABOUT SEX BEFORE!? He had sex! He shouldn't be blushing! BE GONE BLUSH!

Daehyun blushed as well something he wasn't proud about either. Since he had no reason to either! They were adults! Adults having adult talks, it was something completely normal! “Yeah.”

10 points for Daehyun... not.

“I have been with Junhong, in the hospital!” Namjoon didn't know why he felt the need to defend his honor there. He just didn't want to come off like a virgin, not that there was something wrong with virgins!

Daehyun's facial expression changed almost 10 times in a few seconds, until he just sighed. “Of course you have, because Junhong makes his own rules after we told him to do something else.” Then he just shook his head laughing a little. “We should have expected it, this is partially on us, but I wasn’t trying to insult you. I wanted to offer you something.”

That got Namjoon attention as he looked at Daehyun. It was clear by the older omega’s body language that he was feeling slightly awkward about it. “Oh?” He didn’t want to push Daehyun.

“If you wanted to try out… stuff, find out what you actually like I don’t know maybe... take some time just being an omega without getting bossed around by an alpha.”

“So you wanna have sex?” Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from giggling a little at that. Nobody had yet to bring up sex like this with him.

The be honest he hadn’t really had any sex at all with B.a.p if you didn’t count that time in the hospital with Junhong. There had been a lot of kisses, hugs and cuddles. Plus one very intense snog session with Yongguk in the studio. (It might have ended with both of them out of breath and Namjoon on Yongguk’s lap. Only to be caught by a producer, who luckily laughed it off as ‘kids being kids’ which yes was weird since Yongguk at least was too old to be a kid.)

“I was going for experimenting, but yeah I guess… sex.” Daehyun had a dark blush over his cheeks clearly shy over the way he was asking.

Namjoon just smiled at him. Like he couldn’t lie and say he didn’t find Daehyun attractive, even for an idol Daehyun was attractive. Yes he wasn’t the picture perfect idol visual that people seem to love, but he was his own person. His more heavy set eyes and dark skin made him look more unique in an industry that favored copy paste plastic surgery. He was attracted to Daehyun, and the thought of being with him that way did start a fire low in his stomach. The other omega was also offering him something he hadn’t known he had missed. The chance of maybe figuring out what he liked.

Since he had presented late everybody else seemed to have so much more experience than him with… everything, and he always seemed to be playing catch up. What Daehyun was offering him was a solution to that, also it did help him figure out if he had sexual chemistry with the older omega. Since if he was to join B.a.p that would probably be important.

“I would like that.” That made Daehyun relax and smile, like he had expected Namjoon to say no? Had he ever looked at himself in the mirror? Like Namjoon was going to say no to that?

“Really, god can we never do the long silence again? You got me worried that I had overstepped or something like that.” His laugh was soft, but nice as he pulled Namjoon into a hug. Maybe with other people thought it would be weird, since they basically agreed to have sex and the logical answer would be a kiss or anything like that. But a soft hug fit Daehyun, and Namjoon liked hugs.

He liked the feeling of Daehyun’s short but slightly cold body against his own, and he did get his kiss kinda. It was a shy peck placed on his cheek, but for Namjoon that still counted as a kiss!

After that they didn’t just go and fuck like bunnies, it was like they both knew that it wasn’t the right time and they didn’t have to think about it. They ended up mainly making a mess in the kitchen while trying to make some kind of food for the rest of BAP soon to arrive home, In Daehyun’s defense he wasn’t actually as much of a mess as Namjoon was but Namjoon’s ability to half blow up a kitchen when cooking trumped almost everything.

They did kinda end up with an edible meal, and all of BAP at least pretended that it was edible. It was nice of them, even if Namjoon knew the truth. When they all went to sleep that night it was with Daehyun and Namjoon cuddled up together with Junhong after 30 seconds climbing in between them because apparently ‘he refused to not be part of an omega cuddle puddle, that it was simply just rude without him’.

For other people it would probably have seemed like Junhong was being a brat or rude, but Daehyun and Namjoon just smiled as the cuddled around the way to tall omega. All three soft omega scents mixed together into one big relaxing thing that Namjoon fell asleep happily surrounded by. He fell asleep so fast that he didn’t hear Junhong speaking up. “Silly cooing alpha’s stop thinking with your dick… even if it’s a pretty dick.” Well Junhong was always gonna be Junhong.

One day past and both Daehyun and Namjoon had the day off/ Well Namjoon technically didn’t but after almost fainting at the studio because his body was still actively against him. He was nicely told he could write at home unless he wanted to be permanently benched. Which he was pretty sure was an empty threat, but god knows he wasn’t taking the chance.

They hadn’t told the rest of B.a.p about their talk, but it seemed like everybody knew something was going on. Which wasn’t hard to since every time the two omega’s looked at each other they would start to giggle and they couldn’t seem to keep their hands of each other. Even if it wasn’t in a sexual way the two omega’s just wanted to touch each other while waiting for everybody else to leave, just wanted to stay in contact.

And then the last person left, which was Jongup who didn’t seem to want to leave but had to because was dragged out by Himchan, with the comment of ‘give them some space, god you are being creepy. Silly alpha’s.’ Which did explain why Jongup was staring at them like he was ready to eat them.

Namjoon who was trying to eat a bowl of cereal while not spitting all of it out laughing, didn’t get to actually finish his food as it was taken from him with soft hands and the spoon he had been holding to his mouth was replaced with soft lips that definitely remembered to use chapstick. Something Namjoon… did not.

When their lips parted Daehyun was there right in front of him, stolen bowl of almost eaten cereal in hands. “Taste like milk, and sad healthy cereal.”

“Well… you would be worried if it didn’t.” Namjoon gave the older a quick peck again “Do you think they knew?”

“Well Youngjae half dragged Junhong to practice… so yeah I’m pretty sure they did.” Daehyun the cheeky fucker ate the last spoonful of the soggy cereal “So yeah that tasted as bad as I expected.”

A few more giggles and kisses was shared between them in the kitchen, before playful pecks and slight nips of lips started to heat up between them. It seemed that for all that they had kept it pretty chill the night before, that was no longer the case and they soon found themselves in the nest surrounded by the lingering scents of the rest of the pack members scents.

Both were half laughing and giggling as they almost took turns in pressing the other into the soft bed under them. Kisses turning french as tongues wrapped around each as the room heated up, hands got frisky and grabbed at asses thighs and everything else they could over clothes.

Starting with Daehyun’s smaller body pushing Namjoon into a pillow while teasingly nipping at his full lower lip forcing a soft moan from the younger omega, only for a few seconds later to be Namjoon on top eagerly licking into Daehyun’s mouth.

They rolled around like that until both of them felt overheated still wearing their clothes and were desperate to touch the skin under them. Daehyun who had now found a perch on top of Namjoon’s lap was the first one to pull away and throw his shirt somewhere else in the room, fiddling a bit with the bottom of Namjoon’s shirt. “Can I take it off?” He seemed hesitant, and it was the first time that an inch of seriousness came into their conversation. “You don’t have to.”

Namjoon just shook his head, he knew that being uncomfortable with your body and not wanting to show it was a common side effect of anorexia, but it was luckily a side effect that he had never had to suffer through. While he many times wish he could be more skinny or look like Jimin, he had been comfortable enough to take his shirt off. He knew that he should see it as a small miracle.

He guided Daehyun’s hands in taking his shirt off giving the older a smile. Its fine, promise.”

Daehyun bless his soul choose to trust Namjoon and threw the other omega’s shirt on the ground to join his own, and then he did something weird. He placed his hand flat on Namjoon’s chest, not holding him down but looking with his head lightly cooked as if he was thinking about something. “You almost match me.”

The comment was said with a light smile and a soft tone and as Namjoon looked at Daehyun’s hand at the place where their bare skin meet he understood what he meant. They really did match each other very well. While yes Daehyun was a little bit darker than Namjoon was, there wasn’t the big difference it was kinda nice.

Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from rolling to the side ending with Namjoon now be the one on top between Daehyun’s spread thighs. “We are pretty.” Not something he ever thought he would feel good about saying about himself, and maybe 24 hours later he would feel terrible about it, but at that moment… sharing that moment with Daehyun, it felt right… Omega’s were pretty right? And he was an omega now! Right?

Daehyun just laughed as he wrapped his arms around Namjoon’s neck with a smile. “No we are hot.” He didn’t give Namjoon time to answer as he pulled him down into a heated kiss, and the heat between them and the butterflies and Namjoon’s stomach easily made themselves known again.

Compared to many other kisses like this that Namjoon had shared with other idols. Instead of going with the idea of slowly turning Namjoon into a pile of very turned on goo, Daehyun seemed to let Namjoon control what was going on he would lightly tease Namjoon with smile bites to his lips, but mostly he would let Namjoon control the show and when the younger was lost guide him on his way.

A little more rolling around in the bed and making out until Namjoon no longer could hold back the little moans caused by their hips grinding into each other, and from his position between Daehyun’s thighs he looked down at the older slightly out of breath. “I…” he wasn’t sure what to say from there, he wanted more, but not sure how to ask for it.

“What do you want, what do you like? Is there something you want to try?” There was one thing… he bit his lip looking down at Daehyun hesitantly.

“Can I eat you out?” He needed to know if it was just Mark who had a magical ass or if it was an omega trait.

Daehyun looked at him with big eyes before he then started giggling. “That is so leader of you. You have an option to just be the person lying back and calling the shots, but no you wanna be a giver.”

Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from blushing. “I… I wanted to know if all omega’s tasted good.”

Daehyun just shrugged. “It depends. Slick is what you are talking about and it is meant to turn on and get betas and alphas in the mood to pop some babies in you. With omegas it's different since while yes we can plop some babies in each other, it’s going to take a shit ton of luck and a lot of tries but possible. Some omegas like it, some omegas… Junhong… has an obsession with it. And some omegas it doesn’t really get to. I like omegas very well… But I don’t take pleasure in eating them out, at least not more than I do alphas and betas. You are lucky.” The last part of his sentence was teasing and it was delivered with a slight nip to Namjoon’s lower lip. “But I am more than happy to let you go to town on my ass, in anyway you see fit.”

Namjoon laughed pushing Daehyun back into the soft pillows beneath him to kiss him, before he started trying to wiggle of Daehyun’s soft sleep pants. It did take a few tries until he finally managed to get Daehyun naked, mostly because the older kept teasing him by running hands over his overheated body and it turned out Namjoon had shit focus when he was turned on.

When he finally managed to get them off Daehyun he took a second to look at the body beneath him. Daehyun’s omega scent was going on full force mixed with the scent of arousal and Namjoon could see how a little bit of slick was already trailing down his thigh. Daehyun made a move to get on all fours, but Namjoon stopped him. “Like this.” He helped Dahyun place his legs over Namjoon’s shoulders giving the younger’s mouth watering look at his ass and the strong smell of slick was no longer masked.

Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from being a tease though. Remembering all the bites that Daehyun had placed on his lips he then lightly nipped at Daehyun then exposed cheek getting a surprising moan from the other omega… oh so that was a thing Daehyun was into… it was always the innocent and sweet ones?

Holding Daehyun’s legs on his shoulder he had a free view of Daehyun’s exposed backside and could see the slick escaping from his entrance Namjoon lapping it up tasting the sweet taste that was so clearly omega and nothing else.

Daehyun’s moans had turned a lot more breathy and whiny. Namjoon could feel him wiggling a little like he wasn’t happy with the teasing he was receiving, and Namjoon took mercy on him diving in for real focusing on opening the older up with his tongue, trying to remember all the different things that had made Mark go crazy.

He started out slowly, only using the tip of his tongue to tease around the edge and just dipping the tip in. Namjoon marvels in the feeling of Daehyun’s thighs tightening around his head and the high throated moans escaping from him.

When Namjoon was happy with how he had teased Daehyun open and with how he could feel the other relax, he started fucking him open with his tongue for real introducing his fingers as well focusing on the responses that the other omega was giving him. Daehyun was a vocal partner there was no doubt about it.

He was eager and happy to tell Namjoon what felt good, and when he noticed that Namjoon seemed to get extra eager after he put his hands in the younger's hair he was more than happy to give it a few extra tugs than he normally would.

With Namjoon working two fingers inside him doing his best to nail his prostate with his fingers while teasing him with his tongue. Namjoon wasn’t even sure how long time they had been like that. He felt lost in time with the taste of Daehyun on his tongue and the sound of his moans and whines in his ears.

He was so focused on his job that he didn’t even notice… or maybe he just didn’t know… all the signs that Daehyun was dangerously close. He just kept going, driving Daehyun insane until it was all over and Daehyun came with throaty moan.

Namjoon looked up surprised, tongue and lips a little sore for how long he had been eagerly eating out the other omega. His eyes were peeled open in an almost adorable way as he looked at Daehyun. “You came… Without me touching you.”

Daehyun looked worn out and was breathing heavily as he just laughed breathlessly. “If you didn’t touch me I am worried about what it was then that was just in my ass.”

“I mean I didn’t touch your…” How was he so shy about this? What the hell?

“Dick?” Daehyun assisted when Namjoon stopped half way through his sentence awkwardly.

“Yeah.”

The older just shrugged. “It’s pretty normal, we are omegas.” He smiled then, “Sex from a biological point of view is to make us have kids, if we didn’t enjoy and love things up our ass why would it make humans who didn’t know how real pregnancy works do it? That is also the reason that we have smaller dicks.” He just shrugged and then smiled wickedly. “Can I do you now?”

And Daehyun did, a few times over as the two omega’s spent hours exploring each others bodies and just have fun with each other. During that day Namjoon learned many things about his own body and enjoyed everything he learned about Daehyun’s. He learned that he himself was a screamer, he learned that omegas might have small dicks, but it was still enough to make Namjoon scream.

When the rest of B.A.P came home they found the two omegas asleep still naked freshly showered and wrapped around each other, and it left the rest of the pack members smiling at the door before Junhong was quick at joining the two omegas undressing as he entered the room always down for some naked cuddling!

I know... I am super fucking late, but I just struggled with this chapter so much and I don't know why, and when I almost had it done I lost the entire chapter cause of my google docs decided to say fuck me... Which was fun.

Other than that a little bit of a life update, I had my birthday! Which was fun I am 23 and I am starting uni again in 2 days so that will be weird. I had a minor setback with my eating disorder since I went back home, my mother makes very very greasy food and my normally vegan body simply couldn't hold it down. I had insane stomach cramps and diarrhea for over a week which coursed me to not really eat anything and then suddenly you realize 3 weeks has gone by and you sat down twice for a full meal. But I am okay now, I contacted my doctor and got the help I needed ^^

Thank everybody who are somehow still with me after this long wait and a terrible af chapter. >.<

OH! And realeased another side story, this time with a happy Seokjin before everything went down! Which is basically just a lot of Seokjin Loving!

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xiumin-on-this-shit · 7 years

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All My Idols Ch 11: Avoiding EXO

“Got7?” Bobby yells out as he stands with his back to us, facing the white board.

“Of course!” Bambam responds for the whole group.

“Is this really necessary?” I whine from my spot on the couch, unable to put up much of a protest with three guys basically wrapped around me. Suga is taking up most of the couch with his feet hanging off the edge and his head in my lap, basically sleeping thanks to me running my hands through his hair. JB is sitting on the floor with my legs over his shoulders watching Bobby be stupid with the rest of his audience. B.I has his arm wrapped around my shoulders, his hand playing with my curls absentmindedly.

“Yes, we need to keep track of who knows about you and since they always end up basically falling in love with you they become knights like the rest of us, now shush so we can figure this out,” Bobby looks away from me without another word to continue this tally. “BTS? Seventeen?”

“Yes,” Both Namjoon and Seungcheol respond with a smile in my direction.

“Monsta X?”

“Of course look how cute she is!” I roll my eyes but smile at Shownu’s cute grin.

“Who else is there that isn’t here?” Bobby glances around at the group of boys, with all of Ikon, BTS, and Got7 the small room is pretty packed. Only Seungcheol and Shownu were able to fit in, while the rest have to stay in their own dressing rooms.

“B.A.P, Day6, Infinite, Madtown, Vixx, Winner, UNIQ, Beast, Epik High and Topp Dogg. Twice want to join and so do 2pm,” Mark diligently numbers off on his fingers.

“How do 2pm know about me?” I glare at Got7, knowing it had to be them.

With my glare being too much Yugyeom caves quickly, “Sorry Noona, we were just talking about you and they over heard and saw the pictures that we have with you and yea…”

“You guys need to stop talking about me,” I tease, smiling at them to let them know I’m only joking.

“We can’t help it, you have some kind of magic spell on us!” JB says as he affectionately rubs my calf.

“Over 100 if you add in the others like Zico, Jay, Loco, Jooyoung, and CL and a few others here and there. Wow Princess, you collected a whole army.” Bobby teases as he ruffles my hair, earning a swat from his leader.

“How in the world did this happen?” I mumble to myself but the three hanging on me can easily hear. Over the last month I go from working constantly with only Big bang as my friends to becoming strangely close with this massive group of rowdy boys. Manager Unni had insisted that I continue coming to award countdowns and other shows because of all the boys, big bang included, kept begging and annoying her. I happily agreed though, these boys are amazing. But now my schedule is fully packed, I barely go home anymore; only for a few hours at most for a power nap or to pick up clothes. Sleeping has become more of a hobby, after working all night one of my oppas from big bang usually want me to come to their new apartments, since their beds are so much nicer, while they work from home.

I’m pulled out of my thoughts by a knock on the door before it cracks open and a pink head pops in with a cute smile when our eyes meet. Without a thought I’m shaking the three boys off me to jump the mini Suga that just appeared, something no one but him appreciated.

“Jihoonie!” I coo as I rest my head on his shoulder and pull him into a tight hug.

“Hello Noona!” He smiles down at me sweetly and even kisses the top of my forehead making the others groan in annoyance and disgust.

“Noona!” Kookie whines from his place on the floor. “Why don’t you ever do that when you see me?”

“Because you’re a little perv,” I stick my tongue out at him.

“So we probably shouldn’t complain either?” Jackson wiggles an eyebrow at me.

“Don’t you guys have to perform?”

Woozi snaps out of his cute mode to a more mature version of himself and looks to his leader, “That’s what I’m here for, we’re going on after this next group.”

His leader nods and stands up to come next to us, “We should get going than, Charlie, you should come watch us.”

“Of course, let’s go,” I pull the two boys out of the door, ignoring the loud protests coming from the large group of boys we are leaving behind. In the hall the rest of Seventeen greets me, I give them a big smile in return.

“I feel like I should bow like a knight every time you smile like that!” Jun coos as he places his hands on my face and squeezes my cheeks.

“Are you coming to watch us perform?” Little Channie pops up next to me and asks.

“Yea, lets go quick, you guys are going up soon!” I continue to drag Seungcheol and Woozi behind me as I do my best to navigate the halls that I’ve recently become familiar with. With some help from the trail of boys behind me we manage to make it to the stage. Glancing out to see who is still performing I want to scream as Girl generation starts Party. Though I have seen them perform this and Lion heart a few times already it’s such an amazing experience every time I watch anyone perform. I find myself following along with their moves, after watching their video so many times it’s impossible for me not to know.

“Noona,” Jeonghan yell whispers in my ear so I can hear him over the music. “If you love them so much, why do you hide whenever they walk by?”

I don’t know how to tell him that I’m avoiding everyone at SM because of Xiumin. They all know that I hide from EXO because of my bias but they still don’t know who it is thankfully, except for big bang of course. Avoiding the whole company sometimes feels a bit extreme, especially when I think about all the other great people I’m avoiding like Girls Generation, F(x) and Shinee and a bunch of other groups. But the idea of running into EXO gives me too much anxiety, not to mention I don’t know how I’m going to explain it if anyone from the company asked.

Yea, that would go great, don’t mind me just hiding under a table to avoid the man I’ve never met but am completely in love with. Why am I hiding? Well because I’m afraid that I will fan girl and scream in his face or something else really stupid. Won’t be weird at all.

Avoidance seems to be working just fine until Girls Generation starts walking off stage in our direction and I lock eyes with Taeyeon, who also happens to be my favorite. She blinks at me a few times before continuing on her way giving me one last glance before going into the maze of halls.

“I think you’re magic potion is kicking in already,” He teases as he follows the rest of the members on stage, giving me a hot smirk.

Without me noticing Taeyeon has made her way back into the back stage area alone and snuck up to stand next to me silently. Being only a few centimeters taller than me, I didn’t think I would have to look up at her but her heels give her a few extra inches that my flats don’t provide.

“Hi!” She says with a small yet nonetheless beautiful smile.

“Hi Taeyeon-ssi,” I give her a small bow.

Her smile widens at her name and she turns to face me fully, “Omo, you know who I am? That is so cool!”

I’m so taken back by her sudden happiness I don’t respond.

“I’ve heard so much about you and everyone has been talking about how you are so nice and friendly and how you are friends with almost everyone. I was worried that you didn’t like me, I mean us, because you wouldn’t talk to us. Omo, I’m so sorry I’m rambling about things you probably don’t care about. In fact you haven’t even said anything about not hating us so you still could and I’m so sorry for bothering you.” She tries to bow and walk away but I catch her by her wrists.

“Taeyeon-ssi I don’t hate you or anyone in Girls Generation, I’m actually a big fan!” I smile at her.

“Really?”

“Of course! How else would I know your dances?”

She beams at me, “I thought I saw you dancing along but I thought it was just my imagination. You have no idea how happy the girls are going to be that the princess knows our dances!”

My heart stops at the sound of my nickname, “Princess? You know about that?”

She nods, “Everyone here does, lots of people talk about how cute and nice you are. Though I wasn’t sure it was you at first, because no one really says what you look like.”

“Than how did you know it was me?”

She smiles widely, “Because I saw the way they looked at you and I can feel your warm personality. It can draw a person in.” I can’t help but feel a bit embarrassed by her compliments, a blush crosses my face and I have to look away. “You should let me borrow you for a second. I want you to meet the girls, they are going to freak out.” She pulls me gently away from the stage as I lock eyes with Jeonghan who just smiles and winks at me before waving me away. With a sigh I take his signal and let Taeyeon lead me threw the halls. Taeyeon rambles on cutely about what she has heard of me and that the girls have been wondering if I’m as nice and as cute as they say.

“You guys!” She yells as we reach their dressing room that is located in a hall I’m not familiar with. “Guess who I found!” As we enter the room all the girls turn away from their makeup mirrors and stare at me with small polite smiles on their faces.

“Who is your cute friend?” Sunny pops up out of her chair to come check me out.

“The one and only princess!” She releases my hand to do jazz hands to present me.

“Taeyeon-ssi please, you don’t have to call me that, you can call me Charlie,” I tell her again.

She shakes her head, “It’s like an unspoken rule that we must call you princess unless we are close. Once we are really close I will, but you can call me Unni!”

“Omo me too!” Sunny beams her cute smile at me.

“How in the world did Tae unni find you?” Yoona, freaking Yoona, asks with her sweet voice as she comes to stand with us, grabbing hold of my hand.

“I was watching Seventeen perform and she just came up and snatched me,” I tease Taeyeon.

“Unni! You stole her? We are going to be in so much trouble!” Sooyung joins our little group by the door as well.

“I didn’t steal her!” Taeyeon stomps her heel and pouts like a very cute child.

“Did anyone see you walk away?” Yoona asks.

I think for a second, “Jeonghan did, but knowing him, he’s probably not going to say anything to anyone.”

“So the rest are going to think you are missing?”

I nod.

“What will they do?”

I shrug, “They might be a little worried.”

“A little? You’re the princess; those boys are going to panic! I heard that last time you ended up in some boy groups room when they were changing.”

“How do you guys even know about that?”

Yuri laughs, “It’s all over. You are one of the most talked about people back here. We are the only second group from SM that have met you.”

“Second?”

“Yea, Lay said he talked to you when you first started showing up.” Seohyun explains.

“Even EXO know about me?” I can’t even try to hide my blush.

“Of course! When ever anyone mentions the princess Lay pops up and scans the crowd for you, the rest of them try to join in but it’s pretty pointless since he hasn’t told them what you really look like.” Sooyoung giggles.

“Such a good oppa,” I say mostly to myself. I can’t believe he is still hiding me from his members even if he doesn’t know why.

“Unni,” Seohyun pipes in, “You should probably bring her back before someone sets off an alarm.”

“But she just got here!” Yoona and Sunny both whine cutely.

“But what if one of those boys storms in here looking for her? We are going to be in big trouble!”

I nibble on my lip as I think back to what happen last time when I disappeared and Big bang were obviously worried. I grimace at the thought of any of my dongseangs having to explain to them that they lost me again. “I’m going to agree with Seohyun unni this time, we can play around next time when I give my oppas fair warning that I’m going to be with you. Otherwise they worry I might wander into a bad situation like last time.”

The rest pout but nod, though Seohyun is beaming at me, “You just called me unni! I’m the princess’s unni!”

“Come on Princess,” Taeyeon locks her arm with mine to lead me out of the room, “If you say anything else cute I don’t think they will let you leave.” We giggle at each other as we go down the hall, another unfamiliar way. After two turns we run into Lay and the cute unicorn beams a beautiful dimpled smile at me.

“Charlie!” The boy nearly yells as he runs to me and gives me a surprising hug.

“Ya! Lay, put our princess down!” Taeyeon protests as she slaps the younger man arm for him to release me from his grip.

“But Noona,” The unicorn boy pouts but doesn’t loosen his grip.

“I’m in the process of returning her to her knights!”

“I’m a knight!”

“Since when?”

“Since I saved her from falling! Right Charlie?” He looks down at me.

“You were the reason I was falling but I accept you as one of my knights,” I tease back.

He smirks back at his noona, “See, now I can take her the rest of the way.”

“Don’t you have to go on stage soon?” Taeyeon retorts with a pout.

“Oh yea!” He looks genially surprised by the news. “I got distracted when I saw her,” He looks over his shoulder, “I wonder where the others went.” I stiffen at the mention of the rest of EXO, something that doesn’t go unnoticed by Lay as he eyes shift to me.

“Hyung!” Chen calls from down the hall, out of my vision with Lay in the way, “What happened to you? We turned around and you were gone!” Lay is about to turn around when out’s my turn to latch on. My fingers grip his shirt like my life depended on it as I nuzzle myself closer to him, trying my best to hide under his leather jacket without much luck. Lay lets me do whatever I’m trying to do without question, just stares down at me with concern, and wraps his arms tighter around me, as if he is also trying to hide me.

“Princess?” Taeyeon asks gently, also confused and concerned. I feel her small hand on my back near Lay’s, “Princess, is something wrong?”

“She hid last time the rest of the members showed up, I don’t know why but could you go see if you can find one of her knights?” Lay requests her sweetly, I hear Taeyeon’s shoes click away. His hand begins moving in circles soothingly on my back, doing his best to get me over whatever could be wrong. I feel like an idiot doing stuff like this as if I’m a helpless baby but the idea of meeting the idol that I loved more than my oppas isn’t something I can take lightly. What if he doesn’t like me? What if he isn’t what I thought he was? What if I’m not what he thought the princess would be like? Too many questions with answers I really don’t want to find out.

“What are you doing?” Chen’s voice is closer and my grip on Lay tightens. His foots steps stop when they get to right beside me, “Who is this?”

“The princess,” Lay whispers as he continues to rock us both, but does little to calm my anxious heart.

“Really?” Chen nearly yells.

“Ya! You’re scaring her!” Lay snaps.

“Sorry,” He says in a whisper like Lay. “Is she okay?”

“I think she’s fine, it’s just when someone for EXO shows up.” Lay explains and I just feel guilty.

“Oh no, the rest are coming right behind me.” As if on cue a chorus of howls for their hyung fill the empty hall along with a yell of Chen, “Stop right there!” The howls stop and are replaced with just as loud mumbles. “Be quiet! Something is wrong with the princess.”

“The princess?” The word is repeated a dozen times before a stampeded of footsteps is coming toward us as the voices get louder. A low bear like voice catches my attention.

“She’s so little! I wanna see her, I wanna see her,” Chanyeol’s voice echoes.

“No, me first!” Baekhyun must have swatted the younger away because Chanyeol whines.

“No one will be touching her!” Lay says firmly. “Hyung.” I noticeably tense at that one word, something Lay notices.

“Should I get someone?” Suho’s warm voice responds, making me relax.

“Can you just get everyone to back up?”

“Okay guys to the end of the hall!” Suho claps his hands together like before.

“But hyung! We haven’t even gotten to see her!” Sehun whines.

“She isn’t in the mood to see that face of yours anyway!” Baekhyun teases.

“Kyungsoo can I get some help?” Suho sighs.

There is the sound of a struggle as they go down the hall but shortly followed by the sound of an amazingly familiar voice, “Charlie-ah!” Seungri’s voice calls from the same direction as EXO’s.

“Oppa!” I call out from Lay’s chest.

“Charlie-ah,” His voice is right next to me as Lay hands me over, he happily accepts. “How in the world did you end up here?” He whispers as he scoops me up and tucks my face into his chest.

“I’m sorry, I borrowed her and I was bringing her back when all of the sudden this happened, I’m so sorry princess!” Taeyeon mumbles out.

“Thank you for finding me,” Seungri bows to her and to Lay, “Thank you for taking care of her till I got here.”

“No problem, can I tell her something?” Lay asks.

“Yea, go ahead.”

I feel Lay’s hand on my back and hear him whisper, “I’ll keep your secret little Princess.” I forget about my anxiety for a minute and snap my head to look at him. He’s smirking softly as he gestures to the big cheeked man at the end of the hall standing along with the rest of his members. My eyes lock with the cute man making me squeal and tuck myself back into Seungri’s chest. I’m surprised they can’t hear my heart pounding loudly in my chest.

“Thank you again, we’ll be going,” With that Seungri speed walks down the hall past EXO back to Big bang’s dressing room. Even when we’re back safetly in the room I don’t unlatch myself from Seungri, not that he complains. I feel so stupid for acting like a big baby in front of EXO. Even Seungri’s sweet words and warm embrace can’t making me feel better.

I hope one day I’ll be able to talk to the rest of EXO like how I talk to Lay, but I have a strong feeling that won’t be happening for awhile.

Just wondering if any of you lovelies are coming to my wonderful city to see BTS next week? If yes we might run into each other!

#bts #got7 #ikon #seventeen #monsta x #exo #big bang #woozi #yixing #seungri #Suga #JB #Hanbin #Jungkook #bambam #yugyeom #chen #chanyeol #baekhyun #xiumin

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v-le · 6 years

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Kmusic: My Decade-Long Journey with Kpop

Foreword: I had been working on this post for a few weeks now, in between university and everything else. In the middle of its composition, Kim Jonghyun of SHINee passed away and shocked the world. I, too, was appalled, and I don’t think I will ever properly recover from his death. I want to dedicate this post to him. This story is about how kpop has grown with me in life. This story defines everything I have ever thought or felt about kpop and that now, very much includes Jonghyun’s passing. 수고했어, 종현아.

Book 1

I can’t really recall it, but the very first kpop song I’ve ever listened to was either “Nobody” by Wonder Girls, “Genie” by SNSD, or “Gee” by SNSD. I was about seven years old around then. My cousin had shown my sister these songs and she, too, quickly got swept into the music. For the first years of this exposure, I had heard a myriad of songs ranging from Super Junior’s “Sorry Sorry”, SHINee’s “Replay” & “Ring Ding Dong” & “Lucifer”, Taeyang’s “Wedding Dress”, Big Bang’s “Gara Gara Go”, Infinite’s “BTD” & “She’s Back”, 2NE1’s “Fire” and many many manyyyy more. These songs would waft out of my sister’s speakers whenever I was using my computer next to her’s in the computer room. And during those first years, I flat out hated these songs. I didn’t understand anything they were saying. They sounded obnoxious. And these boys that my sister was obsessed with weren’t even that good looking. I can recall that she was specifically infatuated with Donghae of SJ during that time. I can also recall going as far as to mock some of these songs, especially “She’s Back” by repeating “cheese pack” in an annoying tone back to her. Despite my detest for kpop during these several years, I unknowingly picked up a lot of knowledge on it. I could name many groups and recognize many of their songs, all from the fact that my sister played so much of it and I had seen her computer screen many times. Nonetheless, I complained to my mom, that I didn’t understand why she listened to that stuff when she couldn’t even understand it. My mom had told me that it was totally fine, it’s simply about the beat of the music, and that you didn’t have to understand it to like it. I remember feeling a little upset because she defended my sister. All in all, during these years of premature kpop exposure, I was petty, unrelenting, and simply immature. I didn’t like kpop.

Book 2

I remember for some reason, reasons unknown, one day when I was at my friend’s house in 5th grade, I decided to show my friends “Ring Ding Dong” for fun. I remember a few days before that, I had watched the “Wedding Dress” MV for the first time on my own and I cried, too. During these next months, my pettiness towards kpop began to dampen and I started to get pretty good at recognizing groups and songs, and maybe even some faces. The only issue was that I tried immensely hard, as if my life depended on it, to not let my sister see what I was up to. I knew that I would receive massive backlash from her, for being such a hypocrite. So throughout 5th grade and a little bit of 6th, I started to dip my toes in a little, into the infinitely large pool that is kpop. I slowly and secretly, grew minuscule fondness for some songs, but not enough to want to add them to my music library. I kinda liked kpop.

Book 3

In the early days of middle school, a really good friend of mine loved Super Junior to death. Another friend of mine listened to some kpop, but only a little bit here and there. One day they showed me a song from LEDApple and I can officially say that they were the first group I completely fell for. LEDApple had such a different, dynamic and unique vibe to them, that I almost felt like I had triumphed over my sister. I had found and enjoyed a group that she probably did not know at all, and their music was actually really really really good. Personal favorites include “Time’s Up” and “Someone Met By Chance”. Much later, they released “Sadness” and I was even happier with that song. I quickly learned the names of all the members and I considered them my favorite group of all time. LEDApple was my introduction into this “fangirling” gig that kpoppers lowkey highkey have to keep up with. With LEDApple, I learned:

How to memorize members

That MV meant “music video”

How to watch every single video of them that existed on youtube (although for them, it was minimal because they were so unknown)

That subbers were a thing, and for specific groups, too

How to watch variety shows of them

How to memorize birthdays

That Koreans have a different age system than internationally

That they wear excessive makeup

And much, much, much more

I would consider LEDApple to be my “first” for everything. I really did cherish them as a group, along with their music, and I slowly learned the do’s and dont’s of kpop during this phase. More than LEDApple though, I quickly became even more aware of more groups and songs, and I started to favor some more than others too. I liked kpop.

Book 4

My love for LEDApple started to dwindle as I discovered and started to really like more groups like MBLAQ, Big Bang, SHINee, SNSD, B.A.P, B1A4 and especially Infinite. I completely fell for Infinite as I listened to songs like “Paradise”, “Be Mine”, and “Can U Smile”. And yes, as I listened to more of their discography, I recognized some songs as the ones my sister had played in the past as well. Then, they released the Chaser and it was game set from there. I remember searching up Infinite’s profiles, comparing the images with their MVs and matching their names with their faces. I remember when I first saw Woohyun in Be Mine, I thought that he looked like Harry Shum Jr. AHAH how wrong I was…. I also remember struggling a little bit because the profile pictures I used were from their debut, with their slicked back hair and white button shirts and suspenders :’). Soon enough, I became very familiar with everything Infinite-related and I eventually claimed them to be my favorite group of all time (and to this day, they have remained as so). I really liked kpop.

Book 5

This book becomes a little hard to explain, simply because I feel like my emotions seemed to be mundane externally, but inside, I know that they were deep with a sort of affection that words can never fully explain. My love for Infinite was immense, driven, and completely pure. I did not have a favorite member, because no really, I just couldn’t choose one. All their songs were absolutely amazing; Infinite taught me how to fall in love with even the non-title track songs. Their entire discography is the only discography of any artists that I know like the back of my hand. Their choreography was always on point; they prided in being 99.9% synchronized with knife-like moves. I really, truly thought that they were all handsome in their own, unique way. Their personalities were genuine and interactions were always hilarious and the brotherhood between the boys ran as deep as blood. Their early days were the brightest ones that I can recall, and I am so grateful to have watched them develop since. They were extremely relevant within the industry, and “The Chaser” lifted them to even newer heights. I clearly remember their 2nd anniversary as well. I remember thinking to myself, that they were “SO YOUNG!!”, with Sungjong being just 18 years old at that time (which is exactly how old I am now, YIKES). Awaiting a comeback after The Chaser era was definitely an eventful one because I was so expectant and excited and it was the first (of many) that I experienced as a full-fledged fan. It took them nearly a year, but they eventually returned with “Man in Love”, and then “Destiny” immediately afterwards, and then on November 11th, 2013, I had the miraculous blessing to see them live in concert. It was my first concert ever and it was during their first world tour, as mere 3-year idols. 2013 was a year of big feats for Infinite and it all really was just a blessing. A mere five months later, I would again, see them, at the LA Kpop Festival on April 12th, 2014. Boy, was it a time to be alive as an Inspirit. During these few years, everything I did, in my life, really did revolve around them. My school projects, artwork, everything, had to relate to Infinite somehow. I made poems about them, I had collected a total of 24 posters of them on my wall, and I had also racked up physical copies of their albums, my first one being Infinitize on July 29th of 2012. When they posted fan events like the Infinite Love Letter Contest, and when the members used Google+ and when every little thing happened, I was there, and I was supporting them endlessly. As I transitioned into high school, Infinite released more and more things, and my love for them never dwindled, even for a second. When I went through rough times, in all the ways imaginable, Infinite was always there. In the beginning, I had made folders for photos of each member, otps, and the complete group on my computer. I even named the OT7 pictures folder “What I Live For ~”. My passwords all had to do with Infinite. I named all my devices like my computer and such “IFNT7”. The phrase “My love is Infinite” was my favorite of all time. Just the sight of some colors translated into Infinite to me. Every. Little. Thing. My heart belonged to Infinite more than ever. I loved and cherished them, and still do (but maybe not as blatantly), with a burning passion. And not just them, but I really did like other groups like ZE:A and T-ARA to name a few, during these times, but Infinite truly meant the world to me. I loved kpop, especially Infinite.

Book 6

During those fangirl days, I was not completely blinded by love to a point where I was oblivious to the future; rather, I was apprehensive in a way in which I knew that when I got “older”, I “wouldn’t love them as much”. I didn’t doubt that I wouldn’t stop listening to kpop, but I knew that i couldn’t be a diehard fangirl forever. And so, around 2015 ish is when school started to kick my butt, and i really did completely disconnect. Disclaimer though: I was still endlessly thankful for and in love with Infinite. I was so proud of them no matter what, and I supported them from the sidelines with a burning heart. In fact, despite the fact that the amount of attention I dedicated to them decreased, my love for them grew nonetheless. I was so so so thankful that they were just alive, whole, and still doing music. Together. However, I was physically and mentally incapable of keeping up to date with everything, not only Infinite-related, but kpop-related, during that time. I had realized that this was probably time to prioritize things in my life, and not feel so obliged to the whole kpop thing anymore. And so, with Infinite, I tried my best, but of course I did not try hard enough. I did enough to keep up with kpop releases and such, but that was about it. I had no time for shows and small activities and interviews, and all the things that I was an expert on in the past. I no longer had time to check thru all the infinite tumblr blogs I had bookmarked. Instead, I began to turn to the simpler things, as in the music. I realized that if there was one thing that was worthy of putting effort into, it was the music. I began to only care about the music that the kpop industry was churning out. And let me just say, that during this time was probably the beginning of the death of 2nd generation kpop as well. I started to dislike the style of music that Kpop was turning towards, and I noticed how saturated it was with random groups that couldn’t even leave a mark. I also noticed its immense rise in overall popularity: Kpop was becoming more and more mainstream at a rapid rate, and I was having none of it. Instead, I began to venture into k-indie, acoustic, soul, and simply put, healing songs. I turned to artists like Eddy Kim, Davichi, Baek Jiyoung, Kim Feel, Echae En Route, Roy Kim (one my truest loves), Ggotjam Project, Clazziquai Project, Urban Zakapa, Kassy, Fromm, and many, many, many more. I have had the blessing to watch these almost-nobody artists grow, release more music, gain a tad bit more recognition, and simply become even more amazing than they already were back when I discovered them at their early stages. (Sam Kim would debut later, in 2016, and blow me away as well. In fact, all the Antenna Angels). The music from these artists, kept me alive in a similar, yet different way, than Infinite had in years past. I didn’t need to know their faces or ages or personalities or honestly, anything, about them, to feel instantaneously better. These artists and their songs were healing, in a way where the only thing that truly mattered, was their voice.

A quick story about Kim Feel, who has come to be my all time favorite artist whom I would die for: I came across a song from Younha called 없어, and it blew me away. It was gorgeous. A hip hop duo, named Elupant featured in this song and I simply became aware of their name through this track. A few months later, Elupant would release the single Crater featuring. Kim Feel. I gave the song a chance because I vaguely knew of them, and I was once again, blown away. I did not know who this vocalist, Kim Feel, was, but I knew that he was indescribably amazing at singing, and something about his voice was just so different. For months, I wouldn’t even know what Kim Feel looked like. I barely knew that he was a singer because I had only seen his name from that one song, and his WIkipedia page didn’t even exist at that time. Then, in mid-June of 2015, I saw somewhere on Facebook that Kim Feel was releasing his first mini album, and that’s when I finally got some decent exposure to him. I finally saw what he looked like, how he placed second on SSK5, and how he had released several singles here and there in the past. His mini album, Feel Free, was everything I didn’t know I wanted, and I loved it to death. Later, he would go on to perform on Immortal Songs 2 and literally make me cry ugly tears from just one performance. Kim Feel is an artist that I got to know and fall in love solely through his voice and music and nothing else. That is the true beauty about singer-songwriters. He is an absolutely amazing artist and has come to be my most cherished one. Unfortunately, he is currently serving in the army right now, but my soul will always belong to Kim Feel and his music.

I didn’t really like kpop anymore.

Book 7

I want this part of my story to simply be about my current thoughts on kpop, in this moment in time, over a decade after first being exposed to this entire culture. In this book, I will pick apart the sort of darker sides in the Korean pop music industry, which are easily overlooked amidst the fervor of fans and idols and flashing lights. This is a perspective that I have come to hone throughout years of observance and trials and growth, and simply maturing into an adult alongside the ever-changing industry itself. My view of kpop has come to change in a way in which I no longer support several aspects of it. There are simply things that go on within the industry that I want nothing to deal with. Things that I have may have enjoyed in the past are now things that I do not need in my life any longer. Please remember that kpop goes beyond music and idols. It is a lifestyle. For many people, it is a way of living about their daily lives: listening to their favorite group’s music, watching countless videos and shows of them, keeping up with their daily whereabouts and activities, knowing their birthdays and family members and personal details, and simply associating themselves with their favorite group in any way possible, as much as possible. For many kpop fans, it goes beyond liking a group’s music: it is liking their looks, personalities, habits, style, affiliations, it is liking everything. It is true that this isn’t the case for nearly every fan in kpop, but I think it is safe to say that it is a common practice amongst many kpop fans. People come to live for these groups, but of course, there is nothing wrong with that. No one knows how to breathe and wake up every day and live for a kpop group better than I do. But I want to make one very important point clear: Kpop is a market and everything is a concept. Now, let me elaborate a little bit more.

1) It is a factory.

I do not recall it being this bad in the past, but nowadays, I can say for sure that groups are debuting left and right, nonstop, almost every week, or even every day. It’s just too much. Too saturated. Talent is exploited.

2) Most of these kids lack talent.

I know that every single new rookie isn’t completely talent-less, but in such a relentless industry, and especially nowadays with the sheer amount of people trying to break through, all these girls and boys look the exact same to me. Long ago, I gave up on getting into and keeping track of rookies. I decided that they I preferred my golden groups, the ones that defined that my own kpop era, and that they were the only ones I really had time for anyway. I am not saying this applies to all of them, because of course there are always exceptions. Take the latest show, The UNIT, for example. These people are supposed to be already debuted idols, looking for another shot at fame. Yet, the most jarring thing I noticed, especially with the females, is that they can’t even sing. Is that not a basic? These girls were out there on stage belting flat notes left and right and it was atrocious. It blew my mind, because even on P101, trainees who haven’t even had “experience” like those idols had, could sing significantly better. I don’t remember when the standard to become an idol dropped so low, but it is outright disappointing to me. For me personally, a nice face or some cool dance moves or a wholesome personality is not going to make you worthy of being an idol. You have to be a performer. And if you can’t even accomplish the basics, as in pull off the right notes, then why even try?

3) There is a lack of self-expression.

This is something that could be argued from several angles, and I am glad to agree that the stereotype has been changing more and more these days, towards a better direction. But if we are to speak straight from the debut days of Boyfriend or Infinite, or even SNSD for example, then the story is a little bit less complicated. It is simple: many of these groups are forced to do things that they do not necessarily want to or choose to do. Although it varies, almost every aspect of these people’s lives is controlled by their companies. The songs they sing, the dances that they dance to, the clothes they wear, the places they go to, the food they eat, the people they have to meet, and sometimes, even the things they say. These are very frequently not 100% under the artists’ complete control. And that is simply… pretty hard to grasp, but certainly true in most situations. Hence the “everything is a concept”. Because it really is. Many of the things that these artists do are a part of a concept that they must pull off, an image that they must present to the public, whether that is their true self or not, little do we ever know. Hoya’s talk about his departure from Infinite and Woollim does a really good job of exposing this sort of culture that goes on behind the scenes. Of course, nowadays at least, many artists are receiving more musical freedom and even the opportunity to partake in the very creation and composition of their own music.

4) Kpop idols are HUMAN.

This is one that I want to emphasize as if my life depends on it. Time and time again, I think the fact that kpop idols are human is something that people seem to completely disregard. I have never seen a fanbase as cruel and scrutinizing as the kpop fanbase. It almost downright scares me. Sasaeng fans are a reality that I wish did not exist, because they are just so rude, inconsiderate, and intense. Those manic, excessive fans really make me fear for idols’ wellbeing. Furthermore, there are so, so, soooo many incidents in which a Korean artist would do this or do that or say this or that and the situation is completely, totally, blown out of proportion. I have read articles about complaints that made absolutely no sense. I want to make this clear: Nobody's perfect, and neither are kpop stars. They will make mistakes, more than once if anything. But how, in the world, in any universe, does that give people permission to write hate comments at them? To bash on every little thing about them? To write petitions for them to leave their respective groups completely? Why do people think that is okay? Why do people not understand that, just like you and me, and anyone else, kpop stars have feelings. Is that so hard to believe? That no matter how small of a word or phrase you use to hurt them, you are instilling hate regardless. And that is not okay. It is never okay. Because they are human. The world, fans, no one, will never really know what is going on in an idol’s life. I do not want to make this part solely about Kim Jonghyun, but I think it is only right to mention him here. It was stated time and time again that Jonghyun was suffering from severe depression, to an extent where he took his own life. And the entire kpop world fell into complete shambles since then. Does this make it more transparent for everyone? That hate comments, that inner feelings and emotions, that all of these things are very real aspects of idols’ lives. It is so extremely hard, for me personally, to watch these idols become decreased to shoddy titles and names over the smallest of incidents. The hate needs to stop. Kpop idols are humans. Please.

5) The exhaustive work schedules.

This basically stems from the whole humanizing kpop idols thing. But I absolutely despise of the fact that is it common for idols to faint on stage, become hospitalized for over-exhaustion, or take breaks to recover. I have one simple question: Why do we have to work them until they reach that point? Are their bodies and capabilities expendable objects or something? Why is it okay? Why is it common for crying out loud? These people are literally worked to their limit, for several weeks on end. Once again, I’d like to point out that they are not invincible gods with undying strength. They are humans. There just has to be something done about the ridiculous work schedules that these people have to deal with. It just is not okay.

6) Companies are milking fans for their money.

This one is a big statement. It is not necessarily completely true for every single company, but it is definitely not wrong in any way at all. Think about why a company would start up a group in the first place. To give these hard working people a chance in the limelight out of generosity because they totally deserve it? No, of course not lol. There is a win-win situation within a lot of these groups, or at least the more successful ones. They earn lots and lots of money, a large portion of which goes straight to company, while also becoming famous and etc etc everything else they’ve always wanted. But companies are playing a game at the same time, marketing these groups to any extent possible. Ever wonder why groups frequently venture into the Japanese market? Ever wonder why groups have to release 4952548 different versions of one simple album (which is totally a newer-generation-of-kpop trend. groups in the past never did this)? Ever wonder why Lee Soo Man purposely created a multicultural group when it probably would’ve been much easier to just make a purely Korean one? Everything in the kpop industry, and I mean everything comes down to money. That is the reality of it. It is a market.

6) The music no longer sounds like kpop to me.

With the massive rise to global stardom that a lot of current day groups have acquired has come the musical shift into which, in my opinion, the overall sound of kpop is very much more westernized. Many groups are following the trend of releasing music that is edm, trap, tropical house, dupstep, etc -oriented. And for me, I’m not digging it. I fell in love with kpop because of sounds like Big Bang’s and Infinite’s older music. But now, the music is so completely different. A lot of these songs honestly just sound like something I would hear playing on the American radio. Which may just be the goal anyway. But for me, if kpop just sounds like everything else now, why would I listen to it? I originally liked it because it was different, and didn’t sound like everything else I was already hearing. But now it just does. Sigh.

7) There has been a complete generation shift.

This is something that I talk about extensively to my friends and peers. I’d like to say that it is something that I am very passionate about. There isn’t a day in which a part of me isn’t internally mourning about the death of my kpop generation. I think the generational shift becomes more and more apparent as time goes by: look at the groups that were active 5 years ago, and compare them to now. Are any of them even the same? Probably not. And that sort of reality pains me a lot. I understand that it’s simply about growth, getting over it, and moving on. But I’ll always reminisce from time to time. Here are the groups that defined my generation of kpop, and what happened to them:

Big Bang: indefinite hiatus (TOP is in the army, w/ the others well on their way)

SHINee: active (this one breaks my heart even more because not only did I constantly commend SHINee for staying whole and active, despite their apparent downfall in popularity and relevance, I was just always thankful for their undying perseverance as an older generation group. The loss of Jonghyun completely broke my heart because it was a reality I never wanted to believe in. I’m still in shock and it really does hurt to think how SHINee’s name will now forever go down in tragedy rather than legendary)

SNSD: indefinite hiatus (this one is a little hazy. It has been stated that the name of SNSD lives on, despite the members being in different companies. A sliver of hope remains for them)

2NE1: disbanded (first they lost Minzy, and then they completely fell apart)

LEDApple: disbanded (or at least i think so?? The members moved around all over the place and I’m pretty sure no one is left)

2PM: indefinite hiatus (Taec is in the army, while the others are doing their own thang for now. I have faith that they’ll return as 6 one day, though. Fight on, 2PM <3)

B1A4: active (i got to see them in feb, too, bless up)

ZE:A: indefinite hiatus (all the members are in separate companies. Minwoo & Taeheon returned from the army already while Kwanghee, Heechul, and Siwan are currently serving. The rest have been doing their own things as well. In fact, Kevin resides in Australia now. They have stated several times that despite being in different places and companies, the group has not officially disbanded yet. It warms my heart to think that there is still hope for them.)

U-KISS: active (they lost Kevin and AJ and Dongho in the year past and I know they’re still managing to stay alive with the addition of Jun as well)

Teen Top: hiatus (L.Joe was caught up in some messy legal stuff with his company and seemed to have left the industry as a whole in a rather ugly way… it definitely hurt to watch this pan out in the way that it did… nonetheless, Teen Top is basically still irrelevant anyway, despite the multiple comebacks they’ve had in years past.)

4Minute: disbanded (;__;)

Super Junior: active (this is such a blessing, honestly, to have Super Junior alive and active, despite alllllll the shit they’ve been through these past years. I know they’re definitely on the older side, but these guys are absolute legends and it makes me so happy to see them still together, even if just partially)

f(x): indefinite hiatus (their last release was in 2015 which means it’s almost been 3 freaking years since we last saw them active as 4, after Sulli’s departure. Wow… I really do hope to see them soon)

Apink: active (but barely relevant…They were also once 7, until Yookyung left in 2012, I believe.)

Girls Day: active (but not as relevant as they were before, either. Their recent, occasional releases have been decent, but not good enough to be big. They also technically lost a member before, too.)

BEAST: active as Highlight (They lost Hyunseung, and then they all left Cube. Miraculously, these boys kept themselves afloat and even established their own label together, as five. I am honestly so happy for what they have accomplished and even though it sucks that we’ll never hear the name BEAST in same way or affiliation anymore, these five guys are still going strong. I think they proved to me that they really do enjoy being idols, which is kinda rare considering how long they’ve been active in the industry)

VIXX: active (and probably one of the most relevant idols out of this list)

Miss A: disbanded (it was unclear for a while, but also pretty obvious because each member went their separate way. But JYP recently declared their disbandment official)

Sistar: disbanded (they were active for exactly 7 years, debuting and disbanding on the same exact day. This one definitely hurt)

BAP: active (they took a long hiatus somewhere in between, but it was well-deserved considering how ridiculously active they were back then. They still come back quite often nowadays, but it is unfortunately safe to say that they no longer leave the same impact as they did years before)

KARA: disbanded (despite adding Youngji after Nicole and Jiyoung left, they couldn’t last long enough. this one also hurt because of how spot-on their music always was for me.)

MBLAQ: indefinite hiatus (the name itself still lives on, and they never officially declared disbandment. but MBLAQ is probably one of the only groups that will go down in pure tragedy in my heart because I really did, truly, love them to death at one point. The departure of Lee Joon and Thunder threw this group into shambles and they barely managed to come back once as a trio, until their company disintegrated before our eyes and screwed them over even more. These boys used to be top of the top, dominating the industry in every way possible, musically and in variety shows, too. But lately, in fact, not even that recently, G.O. had taken to his personal social media to reveal the mistreatment and basically the complete shit they had to go through as idols. He was utterly traumatized by his experiences in the industry, to a point where he never wanted to sing again. But he talked about how the other 2 members gave him strength, as well as the few fans that were left to support him. MBLAQ literally dissolved into ashes right before my eyes, yet no one, and I mean no one, has been talking about this. They honestly just went through so much and have lost a lot as well. It hurt so bad to watch such an amazing group fall apart so fast, without even making a sound. Fuck the industry.)

Wonder Girls: disbanded (these legendary girls first faced the departure of Sun, and then Sohee. Sunmi was added into the mix after a very long hiatus, but they lasted for about 2 years until they officially disbanded)

T-Ara: indefinite hiatus (this group has faced a ferocious path of ups and downs. First with Hwayoung, and her departure, then with Areum and her departure as well, and then the very sudden departure of Soyeon and Boram. The four remaining members have decided to not renew their contracts with their current agency, but it is unclear if T-Ara still really exists at all at this point.)

Block B: active (and thankfully pretty relevant, I think)

Boyfriend: hiatus (Donghyun is on the Unit right now. I know they haven’t been super active in the past years, but when they tried, it was lackluster. They’ve definitely lost a lot of the momentum they once had years ago :( )

After School: indefinite hiatus (so many members have “graduated” in the past years, that only five are left now. I honestly can’t recall the last time they released music, but I can tell it’s been a very long time…)

CN Blue: active (but unfortunately very irrelevant anyway. They celebrated their 8th anniversary recently though! Congrats (: )

Rainbow: disbanded (so so so sad…)

Infinite: active (bless the heavens. Hoya’s departure shattered my world and I was admittedly a sobbing mess for several days on end. But their impending comeback is going to warm my heart and ears, I just know it. It’s been a good one whole year and a third since I last saw them come back. I have definitely missed their once steadfast presence. Welcome back, my loves <3 )

Welp, that was quite refreshing, to take a quick peek at the histories of these groups that once defined my middle school years. It definitely hurts to count how many times I had to write “disbanded” or “indefinite hiatus” because of how unclear and shaky a lot of these groups’ futures look. It has been pretty obvious for a while, that with the progressive crumbling of this once sturdy, strong, and seemingly invincible gang of groups, a new era of groups has been ushered in to take center stage and render the rest of the once-legends weak and irrelevant. Groups that used to make headlines on the daily basis and smash charts consistently are now barely hanging onto existence in the industry. It is quite painful to watch. There are many times where I just want to go back to those days where the names and faces and songs that were “mainstream” were the ones that I could actually recognize and enjoy. Now, it is quite the opposite. Adieu, my generation of kpop.

I just really don’t like kpop anymore. (but I still like Korean music! :) )

#kmusic #kpop #korean pop music #the untold story #this took a really time tbh #but it has been on my mind a lot #maybe this is like my final farewell to my once beloved kpop days aha #it will always hold a special place in my heart #but ive just kinda moved on from that phase #it's just not the same #but at least infinite is coming back!!#(:

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rofics · 7 years

Text

Hidden Omega (Part 51)

Chapter 1 ! Previous Chapter ! Next Chapter !

Summary:

Namjoon and Jongup spend some time together, get their hair dyed and Namjoon find Yongguk in a position he didn’t expect

When Namjoon came back to the B.a.p dorm he didn’t expect anybody to be there. He had left his studio after sending a text to Hakyeon to reschedule with Jungkook and quickly catch him up on what happened with Jiyong so he knew what was wrong if Jungkook was acting weirdly. At first he wanted to write to Jungkook himself, but he was worried that he might just make Jungkook’s guilt worse and that it was better for him to be told by the Vixx leader face to face.

The dorm was dark and dormant when he arrived, but that was okay as Namjoon yawned lightly. Doctor Choi had warned him that he in general would feel tired a lot more after starting practice and gym again, and that it was better for him to listen to his body and actually sleep.

That was how Namjoon ended up napping on the couch, untold hours later when he woke up to a strong thigh under his face. A soft hand is petting his hair while the scent of bergamot filled his nose in soft waves of calmness. “Jongup?” Namjoon mumbled sleepily.

“Yongguk said it was best to let you sleep. He went back to the studio and the rest is still busy for today.” Namjoon opened his eyes tiredly looking up at the blonde alpha who was smiling shyly down at him. “I just meant to put a pillow under your head so you wouldn’t hurt your neck, but you seemed to sleep more calmly with people around you.”

Not for the first time Namjoon thought that the universe had been very random when it assigned B.a.p with sub genders. The shy, sweet and tiny dancer Jongup was an alpha while way way to tall and teasing Junhong an omega. Peaceful and nice Himchan who would have done much better as an omega was an beta, but then in the end did it really matter? Everybody seemed happy in their sub gender.

“Thank you. I struggle with sleeping alone… abandonment issues… I have gotten used to sleeping near alphas. That is why I left last night… I’m sorry.”

Jongup just bopped his nose with a thing finger. “It’s okay, it wasn’t like you left me alone I had Youngjae.” Both smiled at each other, Jongup shyly and Namjoon sleepily until Jongup spoke up. “Since we are alone, do you wanna spend some time together?” His voice was a little hesitant like he wasn’t sure that it was something Namjoon wanted to.

Namjoon smiled at him eyes closed, content with how Jongup was petting him softly. Namjoon had ever really seen himself as somebody who needed physical contact, but the more he settled into his omeganess and embraced how everybody seemed to be happy to give it to him, the more content he became. And Jongup was really good at petting his touch was hard enough to scratch his scalp, but still soft enough to not hurt him. “I would like to.”

Jongup pulled up a strand of his galaxy dyed hair. “I need to go and got my roots bleached, and you desperately either need the color pulled out or a new dye job… Wanna go?”

That made Namjoon wake up. He hadn’t been feeling lately his roots were showing and the color had paled badly. Already before he went to the hospital he had needed a dye job badly and this seemed to be the cue to do it. Forcing himself to sit up and let the alpha’s hand leave his hair. “Good idea.” He smiled widely, he loved the feeling of new dyed hair.

Also… he kinda needed a new start like that. For him dye jobs were a new start, it was something that he always felt better after a while. Yes this was not approved by his stylist so this was even better. “Can we go now?” He was eager.

Jongup laughed a little. “Yes, I have already booked a time for me, and if we ask nicely they will have time for you as well! Do you want the same color again, it was pretty on you.”

Namjoon just shook his head. “I liked the galaxy, but I want a new start… if that’s okay?”

The younger just laughed. “As long as it isn’t your debut hair style I will support you in anything. Because that was tragic and not the good kind of tragic.” Jongup was already up gathering his things. He hated going and getting his hair dyed alone, but the rest had went when he had been a baby and stayed to sleep instead because he was tired.

Both idols were eager to reach the salon, hoods up as the walked the cold winter streets huddled together to fight the cold. Jongup looked over at his companion who was lightly humming along to last years Big Bang song they both listened to in their shared headphones.

He had been the one most hesitant to agree with the courting of Namjoon. It wasn’t because he had any negative thoughts about the newly presented omega, but it was in his nature to be hesitant and a little shy. He had met and talked with Namjoon before, but he wasn’t a close personal friend with him like Junhong, Yongguk, and Himchan were.

They hadn’t pressure him or anything like that, they had brought it up and asked his opinion about it. Had he said no, nobody would have even questioned it they would have accepted his opinion and choice.

But he hadn’t said no, he had agreed to trying it out. There were multiple reasons for that. While yes they were balanced in subgenders he also wanted to give it a chance that Namjoon would fit with them. He knew that he as a person would be a good fit and while they might not ‘need’ him, he could do well with them. And then he wanted to do right by Namjoon, the older idol had always been kind to him and around him. He deserved a lot better than the hand he had been dealt and that better could be them.

The thing was that Jongup hadn’t expected to ever be like this, with Namjoon next to him softly humming along to loser. The alpha was pretty sure that was why they all wanted Namjoon to at least consider them. After he went to Got7 first they almost expected him to stay. Not because he was mean or anything like that, but because Namjoon was now an omega who had gone through way too much shit.

It wasn’t wrong or unthinkable that he very likely could have stayed with Got7, they were the ones that he had spent the most time with. There was a very real chance that Namjoon even if it wasn’t the right pack for him would stay since his omega would be desperate to belong.

A small smile formed on Jongup’s lips as he looked at Namjoon almost falling over his own long legs and he couldn’t stop himself from reaching out to grab Namjoon’s much bigger hand intertwining his fingers with the omegas.

All that didn’t matter and maybe they shouldn’t have doubted that Namjoon would give chances to everybody. He was committed to his words, and while Jongup hoped that Namjoon would choose them, He had a feeling that even if he didn’t he would still help them in ways he couldn’t describe, but hopefully he picked them he would be good with them.

Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from giggling a little at the mid thought facial expression Jongup was wearing flashing his dimples to the young a light blush spreading on his cheeks as Namjoon just thought ‘he is cute like this’.

He had expected Jongup to lead him to a stylist at his company or something like that. But instead he had lead Namjoon to a smaller salon not far from the dorm. The salon was almost empty other than an older lady sitting in a corner with dye in her hair and an alpha in his late twenties standing at the desk texting.

At the sight at the green haired alpha Jongup let go of Namjoon’s hand to instantly yell out. “Hyuuuuung!” The older male only just managed to step out from behind his desk before Jongup had jumped him arms and legs wrapped around him. “Jongup-ah? You are early!”

The male was not somebody Namjoon had ever seen before clearly not an idol or anything like that. He was tall reaching Namjoon in height if not more and a cat like build with a soft mouth in an easy smile. The scent of what he was almost sure was cherry coke, his arms were wrapped right under Jongup’s bum to make sure the younger alpha didn’t tumble to the ground.

Namjoon didn’t need to be able to see Jongup’s face to know that the younger was grinning like a hyena. “Namjoon woke up earlier than I expected!” He jumped down and pointed towards Namjoon eagerly, “Joonie this is Minsoo! He is my brother!”

Namjoon didn’t actually know that Jongup had siblings, but then again he should have expected it. It was very unlikely to not have any siblings, packs needed to have a lot of kids just to replace themselves. The South Korean government was pushing for more to insure that the population wouldn’t stop growing like it had in countries like Japan. Namjoon personally wasn’t close to any of his pack siblings, it wasn’t that he didn’t like them or there were bad blood between them, it was simply normal to grow apart.

When he thought about it made sense from a biological part, as you tested new packs and joined your own it would be way too much social overload if you had to be close to your siblings and their packs as well. Then starting to know you packmates family packs. So many people!

But saying that, there were still people like Jongup who stayed close to a few of their siblings, and seeing Minsoo’s fond look at the younger alpha it was clear that he also adored his younger brother. “Oh, from BTS right? I like your guys music a lot, one of my mates is a massive fan. I heard you presented as an omega you are looking healthier than the pictures she showed us.”

Namjoon couldn’t help but blush a little at the comment, sometimes when he meet people it was still hard for him to understand that they ‘knew’ him that they were invested in his health and wellbeing. Also they didn’t have that many alpha fans so it was nice, he smiled as wide as he could to the male dimples popping, “Thank you, it’s nice to meet some of Jongup’s family.”

Jongup smiled at Namjoon, he liked how Namjoon was always nice to people and he was also very likeable especially by people older than him. It had to be a leader thing Yongguk was the same. “We are courting him now!” He on purpose hadn’t told his brother about it before, he didn’t want to talk about just for it to never happen.

Minsoo cocked his head slightly to the side. “I think you guys have a thing for tall omegas. I’m for you guys, but Namjoon if this one tells you that playing World of Warcraft for 12 hours straight is normal he is lying, and the rest of the pack is way too soft on him.”

Minsoo was not allowed to speak any more as Jongup, having to go to the tip of his toes to reach, covered Minsoo’s mouth. “No they love me and respect my life choices. Don’t listen to him Namjoon! He is a dirty liar! EEEEW! YOU LICKED ME!”

Namjoon had to cover his mouth to try and hold in his giggle. He was right Jongup was cute cute little alpha. “I will keep that in mind.” Jongup pouted and it made both Namjoon and his brother laugh just causing him to pout more.

“See if I ever introduce you to my friends again!”

“So you are going to leave your hair and your friends hair to stylists who care more for the look than the health of it?” Minsoo raised a green eyebrow, and that was when Namjoon noticed that his green hair is kept in a loose braid on his back looked very… healthy. Something you rarely saw in the idol industry. Now that he thought about it, all of B.a.p were blonde, but their hair was actually healthy. Namjoon now started to understand why Jongup had taken him here.

“Do you do all of the guys hair?”

Minsoo nodded already pushing an eager Jongup into a chair. “Yeah, started with just doing this ones, but as the pack formed I couldn’t let my brothers mates destroy their hair and go bald now could I? It would make him very sad.”

“Ery sad.” Jongup mumbled, having stolen a lollipop from the desk before sitting in his chair, cheek now puffed out like a squirrel. “We even got management to offer him a stylist job but he doesn’t want it!”

The older brother just laughed lightly while checking the ends of Jongup’s hair. “I like my place here, and you guys coming to me gives you a little bit of free space as well. Plus I want nothing to do with idol life. I seen how they treated you guys. I don’t need that.”

Jongup clearly tried to pout, but the lollipop in his mouth made it impossible for him so he just bloated up his cheeks more in his best squirrel way. “Do you have time to dye Namjoon’s hair as well?”

“Of course, I expected you to bring somebody. You have the same inability to go anywhere alone like a small puppy,” Minsoo had moved over to mix up some bleach, “let me put this in the baby’s hair and then we can look at yours.”

“I’m not a baby! It’s not my fault everybody is stupidly tall!” But his voice was still light, showing that he wasn’t actually mad.

As Minsoo spread the bleach over the roots of Jongup’s hair making light comments about it’s condition and small talk while doing it. Namjoon was happy just sitting in his own chair watching the two brothers. It was kinda cute how Minsoo babied his younger brother.

When the green haired hairdresser finished covering Jongup’s roots, he went over to Namjoon. “What do you want to do? A complete change or a redye?”

Namjoon perched his lips thinking. “I… I kinda want a new start, but I also really like this color I think it fits me.”

Minsoo was rubbing Namjoon’s ends between his fingers. “What about grape? It would look good with your skintone. I have been trying to convince Daehyun to get that color forever. It would be close to what you have now, but still different enough that it would be a new change.”

He didn’t have to think much about it as he nodded. “Yeah… I would like that.” He trusted this guy if he said it would look good on him, plus Jongup was nodding eagerly along clearly having faith in his brother.

When the dye was in their hair and both were set to wait while Minsoo went to the older lady fixing up her hair. Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from reaching over to hold Jongup’s hand it always surprised him when people did nice things like this for him.

Jongup smiled at him lollipop long gone as he instead of taking Namjoon’s hand instead played with his fingers as Namjoon smiled at him. “Thank you for taking me here, it means a lot to me. I know we don’t know each other that well.”

Jongup cocked his head a little to the side. “That is one of the reasons I asked you to join me here. I wanted us to spend some time together. I don’t spend days in a studio hiding from the world like you guys do, and I doubt you want to join me in the dance studio. So I wanted to find something we both either had to do or wanted to do. So I came up with this,” he shrugged a little, “I hoped you would like it.”

“If you had asked me to join you in the dance studio I would have agreed, I might not love dance and am not amazingly good at it, but it is something that matters a lot to you so I would do it for you, but yeah I needed this. I kinda hated how my hair looked.” Namjoon giggled a little as Jongup followed the lines on his palm… it tickled.

“To be nice I want to say that it looked pretty, but we both know that would be a lie.” Jongup joined Namjoon in giggling. While Namjoon normally struggled with alphas, especially the first few times, but there seemed to be no problems with Jongup he hadn’t even flinched once as he was now exploring the visible bones in his wrist. Instead his inner omega keened under the younger alpha’s touch.

Their serene silence was broken as Namjoon’s phone went off. He had forgotten to mute it after messaging Hakyeon earlier, the tone also known as the first few tones from death march indicated that it was Seungri. Three quick texts after each other made Namjoon grip for the phone with his free hand only to be greeted with 2 different pictures of Seungri’s face and the question was which one was better.

While Jongup clearly hadn’t tried to look at his phone, it was almost impossible to miss when he maximized the pictures, and it was clear that he wanted to ask a question, but wasn’t sure how to so instead he just looked at Namjoon.

The older omega gave Jongup a soft smile. “You can ask questions it’s okay.” He knew that it was normal to be curious! It was Big Bang, a group most idol groups looked up to not only for their success, but the fact that next year they would be celebrating 10 years together without anybody leaving. Something that almost no groups ever reached. He knew that Jongup would have to be curious after he texted B.a.p that Jiyong had been by his studio.

Jongup looked relieved like he could finally say all the thought he had thought about. “What are the like? As people?”

For people who weren’t idols it might seem like a weird question, but for Namjoon it made sense without a question. Many idols put on a character or a mask when showing to the public. It wasn’t to lie about who you were, but to hope that you might survive with your mental state intact. He thought over the question, it was valid and it made him think, how were the really? His first instinct was to say… nice, but that might not cover it.

“Seungri-hyung is nothing like I expected. He still has the variety personality energetic and stuff like that. He is the type to split everything up to 10 different texts instead of one big one, but he is also weirdly serious in ways that he hides. He runs so many different things that isn’t just being an idol. It is clear that it is really hurting him that he isn’t allowed or given the chance to do music like the rest are. So he bottles it all up and does his best to succeed in other areas as to prove that he is worth something. He is disturbingly good at noticing if something is wrong, not just in voice, but if I am feeling bad but try to hide it he still guesses it. His scent is candy apples. A weird combination of his soft side as a soft alpha and the sourness of apples that is his alpha and personality.” Namjoon bit his lip a little absentmindedly, it was the best way he could describe Seungri.

“Daesung-hyung is actually just like his screen personality for the main point. Other than he has an addiction to those big homemade emojis and seems to be able to have conversations only in those. I didn’t expect him to be so… omega. I don’t mean that in a bad way! He is just so… soft and nice, when I talk with him on the phone he seems to be able to diffuse a mood with just a word. He is kind and tiny! He is so short in person, so is Jiyong-hyung! I know that there were a lot of talk about the fact that their official height was a lie and even with big insoles they were still really short, but I never expected it to be like this!” Jongup was just looking at Namjoon with eager eyes taking everything in.

“I haven’t talked to TOP-sunbaenim, but I talked to Jiyong-hyung today, he is… scary. No scary isn’t the right word intimidating. He seems to be able to swap on and off the G Dragon persona. He is a lot nicer when he is just being himself, very insightful as well, and he seems to even after all the success still feels like he has to prove something. But he is clearly also very protective of his pack. It is clear that they mean more than everything to him and he would burn down to world for them. Oh and his scent is this sweet chili soup. It his the creaminess of delicious jigae that make your tastebuds drool and want to be near it, but then there is the sharpness of chili to keep you aware that he could and would fuck you up.” Namjoon perched his lips again thinking of the last Big Bang member not sure how he would describe Youngbae.

“Youngbae-hyung is different. I can’t explain it but he has this calming effect on me. Not just him as a person but his scent. Out of the scent dolls I have, his calms me the most. When he speaks and explains stuff it is like it puts a calming filter over the chaos of a mind.” He got frustrated a little, because Namjoon was good with words. It was one of the few things he was actually good at! But why was it that on this topic, explaining people he seemed to fail? He couldn’t explain his inner omega’s reaction to Youngbae.

Luckily Jongup who had presented more than two weeks ago was there to help. “That is not abnormal. There are people who are able to calm people by either their scent or speech pattern, it is an ability to feel if people are unstable. Jaehyo from Block B is an omega like that. Yixing is an beta like that.”

That made Namjoon look at him with gaping mouth. “Yixing?”

Jongup laughed softly. “You never noticed before? I have even see him doing it with you. I can’t even remember the award show, but you had to do a speech in English and you were slowly looking like you were falling apart. We were actually talking about who should help you since no one from BTS looked to be doing anything, he put a hand on your shoulder and you relaxed instantly without even talking with each other.”

Now that Jongup was saying it Namjoon could remember it. Back then he had really just set it as oh my god physical contact from somebody oh my god, please tell me Got7 is coming home soon because I am actually on my way to a mental break down. But then he remembered Yixing’s scent of Chamomile in the air. Oh god Jongup was right. “Are there other idols like that?” Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from asking, he had never even thought about it before.

Jongup looked to be thinking for a moment before he spoke up. “There are a lot. Krystal from F(x), Kikwang from Beast, uhm… either Kibum or Henry from Super Junior don’t quote me on that one, Chanwoo from iKon, the tiny one with the abs from Astro. Not the tiny young one but the tiny older one. There are probably more, but that is the one I can remember from the top of my head. I never knew Taeyang was one, but then again it isn’t often you see them interact with non YG groups.”

Namjoon thought about it for a second, he didn’t really know any of the mentioned people very well. The closets he knew was Chanwoo but after his… issues… with Bobby he had stayed away from the rest of iKon and winner. “Well the more you know it seems!”

The rest of their hair dye trip went fairly well. They had light chats about everything from Jongup’s excitement of the new World of Warcraft expansion and something about escaping from the ‘garrison hell’ whatever that meant to talk about Namjoon’s failure at learning dance routines.

They left the salon, where Namjoon did get a hug from a very happy Minsoo who seemed very happy with how Namjoon’s hair had turned out. Namjoon had to agree after a blow dry his hair fell in soft purple grape strands around his face, complementing his skin tone while making him look a lot softer than normal… something that he really liked. He also received a strict order on what hair products to used after being told that their should be enough at the B.a.p dorm for him so not to worry about.

Jongup looked nice as well with his roots dyed and hair fluffy after a blow dry, even though Namjoon had to admit he was weak for the blonde hair dark roots that he sported before. The full blond made him look a lot softer.

As they went back to the dorm again with their hands locked in each other, Namjoon was absentmindedly texting as Himchan trying to figure out if everybody was home, and if they needed to pick food up or anything like that. A text came back to Namjoon that if they could pick up Yongguk in the studio instead, since the silly goose had his phone muted AGAIN, it would be nice, problem was that the studio was in the other end and Jongup was already yawning even if he was trying to hide it from Namjoon trying is best to be alphaish.

Namjoon just giggled and stopped them leaning over and kissing Jongup on the forehead. “Go home you had dance all of today. I just need to quickly grab Yongguk.”

“You don’t want me to go with you?” Jongup couldn’t hide the second yawn as he pouted

Namjoon shook his head. “I don’t think I can carry you home when you fall asleep. Go home nap or help the rest with the food there isn’t that long to the studio and somebody has to pick up your dear leader,”

For a second it looked like Jongup wanted protest, but he just sighed before perching his lips weirdly. “I want a real kiss first then.”

Alpha’s had no right to be that cute and Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from blushing a little as he bowed down to press a swift kiss to the youngers chapped lips. Jongup didn’t seem happy at how fast the kiss was. “I want an actual real kiss when you guys get back.”

“If you are still awake when I get back then okay.” Namjoon teased, but it seemed to settle Jongup as he just stuck his tongue out before turning to walk the last 150 meters home calling behind him.

“Be careful! Don’t get kitty-napped!”

Namjoon didn’t answer him, just giggled a little making his way to the studio. The air was cold and he had to hide his hands in his hoodie missing Jongup’s warm hand in his own. But his pace was quick so it didn’t take him long to get to the building and finding the studio he had hid in with Yongguk and other people many times before.

As he opened the door he dropped his phone that he had been clutching as he looked into the room.“YONGGUK!?”

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So I have decided since a lot of you don't know that much about B.a.p I would do a quick recap of important things.

B.a.p also known as Best Absolute Perfect or as I call them. The group with the standing record of how many members they can kill in MV's

Debuted in 2012 same year as Exo and were originally actually seen as the real competition to Exo going against each other for Rookie of the year (Which they both lost fun fact).

In late 2013 they filed a lawsuit against their company after getting treated like shit, like... SM are almost angels compared to how B.a.p were treated. The reason they waited so long was that they wanted Zelo to reach 18 so they could all join in the lawsuit and not leave Zelo to still be under company control.

Lawsuit lasted for 9-10 months in which they lost almost all of their popularity (Before the lawsuit they were just if not more popular than Exo) and are to this day still fighting to regain that momentum.

They are well known for often switching up their music style and their mv's can be very grim and deep sometimes.

Things important to know about some of the members referenced to in the story.

Last year Yongguk went on a hiatus due to mental health issues

Netizens has always treated Himchan (The visual) like shit and there has been petitions to remove him from b.a.p due to his weight (Being to high), and at some point his weight was so low many actual fans got worried.

Daehyun get's shit for being dark skinned.

Junhong was known as the original golden maknae also nicknamed '15 year old genius' originally training with YG. He is a very skilled dancer, rapper and helps with the producing/writing... oh and he is a giant.

Music I would recommend:

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8Pwejfz0rI">Warrior!</a> Their debut song, and to this day my favorite B.a.p song... In this story they are all blonde in tribute to this all blonde debut.

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zRzl1d5vNU">One shot!</a> The original kpop video where members kill's members, to this day I'm still not sure of the storyline... if you get it please explain it to me.

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7VEZuvy0-cc">Skydive</a> 10 minute mv / short film, everybody looks good and B.a.p serving up some more angst and dark concept.

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ku_FYERiHC8">Wake me up</a> A social commentary on the current state of the world, extremely diverse mv.

And if you have spotify, Dystopia from the Rose mini album it's b track, but it's amazing

Authors note:

So yeah... I hope you guys liked that...

So I have a few little things I want to say here. If you want more Hidden Omega verse, I have released a few stories in my break.

You want more Vixx and Jungkook including finally a smut scene between Wonshik and Jungkook, I wrote an 8k story for that HERE I hope you guys like it... I liked it.

I wrote the third chapter of my SHINee story in the Hidden Omega verse, this time with Minho focus, which can be found HERE!

I wrote the third chapter of my why sm is the devil story, which is basically a compilation of all the ways SM Fucked over their groups, this time with focus on Kris and Tao can be found HERE!

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Okay I am done pimping my own stories out now, I hope you guys are still willing to read after this break and I hope you liked this chapter <3

Chapter 1 ! Previous Chapter ! Next Chapter !

#Bts #bangtan #B.a.p #Namjoon #Jongup #Bts fluff #B.a.p fluff #Omega verse #Omega Namjoon #Rap Monster #Namjoon fluff #Namjoon angst #Yongguk

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