SAM: you are grounded. for... til college

AWESAMKID: for til college??!?!!!

SAM: FOR TIL COLLEGE!!!!!

chaotic dinner,,

Oh yeah I did that :]

[If you take the time to like this, please take a few more seconds to reblog 👍💖]

I think dsmp fandom should take the family headcanoning as far as possible. the entire dsmp is one big and very awkward family reunion gone wrong

DSMP CHARACTER LINEUP

Shadows of every DSMP character I’ve done [so far] [closeups under cut]

LAS NEVADAS=

KINOKO KINGDOM=

CRIMEBOIS & HAPPYDUO=

PROTESILAUS & BEEDUO=

AWESAMKIDS=

[note - c!boomer has two forms btw]

bro i'm already so tired of people jumping on the awesamkids thing like. hannah and sam are siblings they are chaotic arguing siblings, boomer looks up to sam but also lowkey wants to smash, quackity is sam's business partner who yells at him sometimes. come on, y'all. not every single interaction needs to have "NEW DAD" assigned to it. i'll leave alone benchtrio because they're all actual kids that he takes a fatherly role towards sometimes, but hannah, boomer, and quackity aren't even kids so he doesn't treat them like they're his.

ok but actually I hate awesamkids sooo much like if you want a family relationship just look at Sam and hannah they're litterally the only actual sibling dynamic it's so wierd to me that people are grasping for sam to be put in yet another position of power give him more responsibility just to turn around and condemn him for not fulfilling his made up role as father of 4

so, the Witcher au, right:

sbi are a thing. and by a thing, i mean phil + techno are old, old witchers- probably school of the bear or wolf, aloof and the stuff of legends, more monster than man [or so the public says]. wilbur is the bard that they rescue- from what isn't important, just that he looks at them, black-eyed and growling, and says hey, these are my witchers now and where their company was two, it is now three and their travels are that much lighter and merrier, and much like they've heard happens elsewhere with the white wolf and his buttercup, wilbur softens their reputation and sweetens their company.

tommy is rescued from a village. there's no village to return to- they barely get there in time to rescue him and one other young man, who takes up their offer to return to the keep. tommy, however, doesn't; tommy much prefers their company, and the company of tubbo, who stays with them whilst captain [griffin school witcher who's adopted him] is off in skellige where tubbo is forbidden from going yet.

so that's our sbi.

to detour for a moment, young jack manifold has recently joined the keep with a lack of elsewhere to go. he's too old to undergo the trial of the grasses, but not too old to learn his way around the world; a young noble lady and her companion- niki and fundy, as he soon finds out- take an interest in him and soon the halls are bursting with raucous cheer. he soon finds out how exactly they came about here- niki was fed up with the poisonous dealings of the court and fundy tired of being forgotten unless he was useful as a court pawn. eret- cat school witcher who'd taken them under her wing- had proven a better home, and they would defend each other to their dying breath. [this, jack finds out with a pleasant sort of surprise after an altercation, extends to him]

nevadas, kinoko- both are kingdoms. quackity ruling over the frivolously wealthy nevadas with an offer extended to fundy as a meaningful part of it, purpled as a cat school witcher, slime as some unknown creature, and foolish in the same boat. kinoko holds karl as king and sapnap and george as his right-hand men, and tina as the kingdom's most talented mage. the tension between these kingdoms swings between "just bed each other already" and "oh good, we're about to have a war"

and sapnap, george- dream team used to be a trio of witchers, before dream was found having broken several codes as a witcher [?] and the team disbanded. all three are wolf school.

a key arc, at one point, is ranboo's arc. here, mages are attempting to replicate the trial of the grasses at older ages, on nonhumans and older boys. the witchers catch wind and have to not only dispatch that particular council + rescue ranboo, but then there's a whole arc about gaining trust because ranboo has gotten a Double Dose of Be Afraid Of Witcher because of his time under mages and as some supernatural creature

tubbo and tommy are instrumental to breaking those walls down, yes, but so are the rest of sbi and the keep because yes <3

a final arc is dream seeding unrest against the witchers that turnt him out, against the kingdoms that spurned him; all he has to do is seed the thought that a particular school or kingdom was responsible for harming and kidnapping one of the witcher's adoptees and the war would take care of itself. bench trio, however, are menaces, and this goes exactly as well as expected.

other misc. notes:

- hannah is viper school, my beloved girlboss. or cat school.

- awesamkids is sam, a crane witcher, having a reputation for adopting. sam nook [thank you river] is his creation and the family's secret. tommy is the newest addition in all but formality [because sam knows better than to dispute sbi's claim on him but offers an informal place anyways.]

- badlands is a collection of mages, mercenaries, and witchers who would all kill and die for one another. punz is a cat school witcher who was purpled's mentor and brother in arms, bad + skeppy are a witcher + mage pair [bad the mage and skeppy the crane witcher], callahan the [redacted]

- i'm forgetting something. i have no clue what tho but i imagine i'll add on

- OH YES eret has been involved in several political assassinations. they don't talk about those anymore

Yeah awesamkids is cute I guess but the dynamics are just wrong. You think hannah has a father-daughter dynamic with Sam? Have you even seen their interactions? At best it’s a sibling dynamic but not everything has to be family. people can be friends to care about each other.

also, bommer and Sam’s dynamic is obviously an “old friends who haven’t seen each other in ages” dynamic. how did you people get a father-son dynamic

also also, apparently cc!sam doesn’t like awesamkids so do what you will with that info. Focus on the already existing familial relationships with c!sam

i think like. earlier on before Big csam The Warden Man stuff was going on awesamkids was decent with like other characters. but now. yikes..

ok going on a side note here but like there’s this comic au on Instagram that irks me for.. reasons. but LITERALLY TODAY they were like”yep I made awesamdad canon in my au” and it’s like. WHY. the au isn’t really set in the dsmp but it has the general people in it as characters which like- isn’t bad necessarily. except. i know. a lot of it is based on how they see. the dsmp characters. and it BOTHERS ME. because they made MY BOY DREAM the villain for some reason??? like this isn’t a dsmp au why are u making him the villain wtf????? like clearly they were like Oh my Tommy centric au will have Dream as the Bad Guy because that’s necessary apparently. and I was thinking ok so I GUESS they’re making it based off how dsmp characters align. but here they are. Sam as a sweet dad. And they have SCHLATT too as a cool friend like. oh my god. THEY JUST DONT LIKE DREAM I GUESS????GRRR BARK BENCHERS BEMCEHRS WHY god. okay. like really think about it. how many aus have you maybe seen where there’s like the dsmp characters but in a non dsmp sheeting with no dsmp themes. if it’s themed around sbi/bench boys— how often is dream the villain? and now a au like that but themed around dteam instead? idk about you but I’ve seen a TON of dream/dteam villains in sbi centric stories. and maybe that’s bc they always get more attention and I’ve never seen as many dteam centric aus?? but I cannot think of a single dteam au where sbi was the villains. especially not Just Cuz. GAAA

OK SORRY I GOT LIKE SO SIDELINED THETE I kinda ranted there sorry sorry I’ve been thinking about this for. months… SPRRY agh AGH ok I’m… Notmal. i am Normal. everything’s good.

IF YOURE GOING TO MAKE A FUN AU MAKE IT CONSISTENT SO YOURE NOT JUST VILLIANIZING A REAL LIFE FUCKING PERSON

I TOTALLY GET U ANON weirdchamp weirdchamp weirdchamp benchers are gonna bench

awesamkid,,,,

"I don't know. I feel like that's weird. I feel like it's weird to...arrange some sort of family endeavor on the SMP. Pretty weirdchamp, to be honest with you."

- Sam on the awesamkids dynamic

it's funny that there are still ppl like "oooou awesamkids :D" when the guy it's literally named after said he thinks it's kinda weird and he doesn't really like it