Prompt: Ava/Beatrice + genderfluid!Ava please?
“Are you mad?” You have to force the words past the lump in your throat, not sure that you really want her to answer. But Beatrice has been quiet since you told her, and she has that faraway look in her eyes, the one she gets when she’s thinking too hard about something. There’s a book open in her lap, and you can tell, you are sure she hasn’t read a single word.
“Am I-” Beatrice looks up, looks at you for the first time since you’ve said - mumbled, nearly lost in your cup of morning tea - hey, I don’t feel like a girl sometimes, is that okay? - and frowns. “Did you forget to unload the dishwasher again?”
“Uhm. No?”
“Ate all my leftovers?”
“Nope.” To be honest, you've been tempted. The kung pao chicken Beatrice ordered last night from Aunt Fēn had smelled very very good.
“Have you taken my fleece without asking? You know, the green one with the sleeves that are too long for you and you have to roll up?”
God, you love that fleece. It's soft and cozy and above all it always smells of Beatrice, even after washing.
"It's in the closet. I know because I wanted to wear it, but then I remembered I should ask you for it first."
"Thank you, Ava." Beatrice places a piece of paper in between the pages of her book, closes it and pushes it aside. "Then why are you asking me if I'm mad?"
You frown, shaking a corner of the napkin you've been tearing apart loose from where it stuck to your finger. You expected this conversation to be hard. You had resigned yourself to it. You’re not prepared for it to be confusing.
“Beatrice.” You begin slowly, trying to pick your words with care. It isn’t easy. You’re not the kind of person that often thinks before they speak. “None of the things you’ve asked me about make you mad when I do them.”
Oh.
You blink.
Ohhhhh.
“Exactly.” Beatrice reaches across the table, squeezes your hand with a gentle smile. “So why would I be mad that you told me about yourself?”
“I don’t know.” You admit, dropping your gaze. The tea cup’s left a wet ring on the surface of the table, and you dip the tip of a finger in it, drawing lazy figure eights. “Maybe because I kind of sprang it on you? Made you fall madly in love with me then went: surprise! I’m not a girl all the time, actually.”
“Ava.” Beatrice flips your hand palm up, tracing her thumb across it until she’s resting it on top of the small knot of veins at the hinge of your wrist. Your pulse quickens, races fast enough for her to feel. “When I fell in love with you, I didn’t expect you not to change.”
“No?”
She shakes her head, still smiling.
“That would be falling in love with an idea. But we all change, we all grow. Sometimes we have parts of us we don’t discover until we’re ready, or until we reach a turning point in life. There’s no time limit on it.”
“So you’re okay with it? Even though I don’t have it all figured out, yet?” You want to explain that it feels shiny and new, but also familiar, like a pocketful of change you forgot inside an old coat only to be pleasantly surprised when you unearth it a couple seasons later. You want to tell her that some days you look at yourself in the mirror and you do see a girl, but not the kind that Sister Frances had in mind when she had refused to cut your hair as short as you’d have liked and forced you to wear dresses. That at night you lie awake till late, listening to her breathing even out as she falls asleep, and imagine the friction of your nape, shaved bare, against the cotton of the pillow.
And, sometimes, you think, maybe, you’re a fraud. “What if I’m wrong?” Your voice shakes a little. “What if it turns out this was a waste of time?”
“Getting to know yourself is never time wasted.” Beatrice lets go of your hand and comes around to your chair, sinking to her knees there. “I love you, Ava” She says and you cling to her words the same way she clings to your wrists, the two of you forming one lifeline. “Even if you eventually decide this label doesn’t fit. Even if it turns out none of them do, I love you.”
You lean down, rest your forehead against hers and it feels a bit precarious, this position, like when people refer to you as she. But Beatrice loops her arms around you, steady. Ready to catch you.
And you know that, no matter what, she always will be.
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turn to above - chapter 1 (3.4k)
Beatrice is the one who goes through the Arc. She doesn't come back the same, but that's alright.
chapter excerpt:
Ava kneels at the base of the Arc.
She holds Beatrice as carefully as she can, but no amount of care will make any difference now.
"It’s okay," Beatrice says, even though it isn’t. She lifts her hand, the tips of her fingers brushing Ava’s cheek, and Ava can feel the blood they leave there: proof that they touched.
A blue glow flickers down over them.
Is there a sun in Reya’s realm? Ava wonders suddenly. Will she be sending Beatrice somewhere dark?
"I’ll come with you, okay?" Ava promises. "We’ll go together."
Beatrice shakes her head. "They need you here."
All that’s really left is to let Beatrice go, but Ava finds that she can’t, that letting go is actually physically impossible, that she’s incapable of it.
Beatrice isn’t crying, but Ava is; it makes everything blurry, and she does her best to blink it away.
"It’s okay," Beatrice says again. It’s the last thing she says.
There’s the echo of Lilith’s footsteps as she approaches, and her presence behind Ava no longer feels like a threat. "You have to send her through." Lilith’s voice sounds flat. A sheer drop. "Ava, send her now ."
It does have to be now — Ava’s hands are warm with blood and Beatrice’s breathing is getting shallower.
"I love you," Ava tells her, but already, Beatrice’s eyes have closed.
For a moment, she looks kind of peaceful, and when Ava lifts her, she passes through the Arc so easily, drawn by something on the other side.
There's a shimmer of brilliant light before the Arc shuts off.
And then it’s just Ava and Lilith, alone in the room where they both tried to kill each other and neither of them died.
"She was still alive, right?" Ava asks. "She didn’t — she wasn’t — I didn’t wait too long, did I?"
When Lilith next speaks, she’s closer — beside Ava, as she hasn’t been in months. Maybe they’re not enemies anymore, even if they’ll never forgive each other. "She was still alive," Lilith swears. She grips Ava’s shoulder, and this time, she doesn’t leave claw marks.
Ava repeats it tonelessly: "She’s still alive."
Beatrice is still alive, still alive, still alive.
But she’s also gone.
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Chapters: 1/?
Fandom: Warrior Nun (TV), Atlantis: The Lost Empire (Disney Movies)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Sister Beatrice/Ava Silva
Characters: Ava Silva, Sister Beatrice (Warrior Nun), Preston Whitmore, Sister Lilith (Warrior Nun), Sister Camila (Warrior Nun), Shotgun Mary (Warrior Nun), Joshua Sweet, etc - Character, Ava is Milo, Bea is Kida
Additional Tags: This is a little niche tbh, Atlantis AU, Warrior Nun AU, Alternate Universe, Warrior Nun x Atlantis, archeologist Ava, warrior princess Bea, modern age Atlantis AU, different story same gist, it's Warrior Nun characters in an Atlantis story, mentions of dementia
Summary:So, this niche little fic, is going to follow archeologist Ava as she follows in the footsteps of her (maybe crazy, maybe brilliant) godfather Preston Whitmore (Atlantis original), and tries to find out more about a (glowing?) crystal found in a Scottish Loch. Spoiler: She will find so much more than that.
This will be a mix of Warrior Nun characters and also some Atlantis characters. The story obviously isn't 1:1 Atlantis, but a different spin on it and modern times as well.
Please let me know what you think of it.
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