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donshowmachine · 10 months

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Can you do agent reader with ATP Engineers too? Something something they came up with a scarily deadly device that will definitely "help you do your job better" or organised a date that you're not sure is supposed to be a jab at your poor computer skills or an actual exam on programming

To me they're the brains of every tactical planning in AAHW, talented in their fields, but come off as irritable and bit snobbish due to being surrounded by people who might not understand their 4D chess game in battle strategy. They know they are smarter than the majority of agent mass, probably like to flirt with making gadgets or aggressively organising your paperwork.

Thanks for detailed prompt! Here you go, hope it will satisfy you. Choosed the device route. :]

This is still agent!reader, but here wasn't any soldiers flirting with them :D

Semi-mature joke, really bad compliments and flirt, little non graphic descriptions of reader corpse, not beta read, Engineers are trolls. 1,7k words.

There was a bunch of sudden attention from ATP engineers. Usually their lectures, tasks and help distributed evenly among agents. But now you rarely see them with anyone, without them shifting their attention to you. Why?... Usually all your talks is about work.

ATP engineers surround you when you take a sit in dining room, not letting other agents talk, interrupting them. At one moment Your familiar agents have completely stopped sitting next to you because of their oppressive company. They flock just like pigeons, rather passively surrounding you like a piece of bread, and noisily cooing. And they just can't shut up their little masked beaks about how rust-bloods all dumb. Sometimes they ask you things like, what is your favourite weapon, or some sort of tactical riddles, which made to mock you for not obvious answer. Or once asked wasn't it you who unplugged the computer from a power outlet "for fun". They laughed at one engineer who panicked and didn't understand why nothing was working... And they trolled you from time to time. It was like that classmate who is an arrogant nerd, but if he was cloned, and had no other things to do but pester you. Annoying. You wanted to punch them in face, sadly, they had durable masks. That's probably why.

Their laugh sounded like funny anecdote was told to a bunch of kookaburras. They was rather funny than annoying while laughing, just like little loud fluffy birds with funny trembling tummies, a bit satisfying even, but you wish that anecdote wasn't litterally any of your attempt to socialise with them.

Probably they choose to troll you to have compensation for all agents who made jokes about their blood. Well, now you totally understand how is it, being in ATP shoes for this part. It even started romantically, before gates of hell opened: "Rose-blood", "Bullfinch-Blood", "Sunset-blood", "rubie-blood"... It even made you blush. But after, it was a whole lot of "lobster-blood" "crab-blood", "flag-blood", "Stop-sign-blood", "Fire-trucks-blood", "Borscht-blood", "fire extinguisher-blood", "Acne-blood", "clown-blood", "shame-blood", and many others.

This day was no differ. Some crap happened on the other side of AAHW, so the dining room was almost empty. They slowly moved a lot of hot dogs towards you.

...You usually ordered them with same sauce and additives. What is it. What does that mean.

"Is it for me?"

"Yes." They said, muffled through the masks. You felt uncomfortable with the attention, they all looked at you through the yellow glass of the mask... Some had crazy eyes, like some insane scientist who just electrocuted himself, others have a more tired gaze. They usually communicate more with each other, only occasionally giving time to you, because, well... You weren't so an enthusiast to communicate with them.

"Is it a prank?"

"No."

"Are they poisoned?"

"That'd be illegal!"

"Can i do your paperwork?" Another engineer asked.

You looked at him terrified. It's sure some kind of check. He tests how lazy you are, to report to Auditor. There is no way he would really want to do it for you!..

"I can replicate signatures very good."

"No-no-no, thanks, i prefer to do it myself."

Engineer looks at you suprised. Ha, ate it, piece of snitch?! Report someone else!

"Respectable. I just finish my work too fast." He bangs on the table a little bored. "And after that i just waiting... For incidents."

They're famous workaholics, as any AAHW workers, tho. You probably was the black sheep, but you will never let anyone say it, or notice.

"It's kinda hell to have free time. I always have full existential crisis." Skill issue, you think. "And here is hard to find work sometimes, the most interesting things have already been assigned to someone else... I finished my rant, yes, now to the deal." His voice sterned. "Want to test our shrinkihankwhinblentonator?"

And from this day they offered you their... Experimental scary devices, each for killing, and a lot of them were raw, no matter how many "tests" they said were done. It always somehow backfired at you. Either these inventors have hands out of their asses, or you have a talent for breaking the tech just by breathing on it.

And, next time they wasn't even asking about permission to do your paperwork. Not like you can complain, and Auditor will check.

Some of gadgets were a complete joke... One time You've been handed an old radar.

"It detects best agent in the whole AAHW." There was only one flickering dot, always in center...

"Who is it?" You looked around. Any agent nearby moves, but the dot does not, as you stand still.

"I don't know." Calmly and patiently lied engineer, his silhouette towered over you like a statue of an angel. "Maybe you will figure out eventually." He giggled softly.

You felt ashamed because you never can distinguish Engineers visually, but they can always identify you with ease. It's like an endless embarrassing moment from a sitcom where you confuse twins. You were jealous of characters of the series, they had only two twins, and you had whole AAHW of them to suffer. You wish you could just write their names on their face, or that they wear badges. And for them it's not even problem! Like you were the only one with "agnosia", and they just magically know who is who. Or they don't even care...

Fortunately, at least they weren't offended, but you sure they would be annoyed at some point. Sooner or later.

***

"You had good results in this month, yay!" One Engineer softly complimented you. All of engineer crowd quietly clapped. "And, you probably don't know what it mean... It mean you will help us with experiments. We need our best workers, non-modified, for it."

The dim corridors became less crowded as soon as you got into... A small cabinet with surgical table and instruments. Cold here.

"This is... Basically, modified cloner. Too much budget is spent on the constant fast transportation of agents on missions."

"Oh... And... This is will be inside me?"

You was scared. The iron structure looked very sharp, big, not like tiny inconspicuous chip, and clearly had to puncture the organs. This strange dark liquid with organic chaotic mess from which usually cloners collect soldiers in cells, big needles, it should be for mag agents, not... You. It looked like chthonic cyber-parasite who will tear you apart inside just to heal your mere flesh wound.

"This is goes under ribs," Engineer's finger moved on metal thing, "here it will be attached to the spine..." He enthusiastically moved his finger to another place.

"You will be unkillable! Probably. This thing is pretty FAST." He said with delight. "Probably also very painful, but anyway, would you like to test it on mission?" He looked at you like a madman escaped from a psychiatric hospital, but also like very cute pleading kitten.

"I... I... Can i take time to think?"

"Do not bother to think, this is offered only once in your entire career!"

"Uhhh... Well..."

"Death is painful anyway," engineer smiled with his voice, his eyes were narrowed like those of a Cheshire cat. "Regeneration is better than just beating records on dying per day, don't you think so." His low voice sounded ominous, despite the friendliness, cheerful eyes looked creepy. He definitely wants to convince you...

You make a frightened, eloquent face, and run away.

***

ATP Engineers unpatiently sat in their elite, VIP-gold-blooded-intellectuals-only restroom. It wasn't restroom, just cabinet for work - and as obsessed, possessed by demons workaholics, they finished all they had, and now they just grumbled and discussed agency and work, as they did everyday. But now they got new topic...

"This Agent... You know, THE AGENT." Started ATP Engineer, named gLd3n.

"Y/n?" Answered other engineer, with nickname "Fractal". He developed some parts for AAHW Purgatory this way, and now it's his name.

"yes, Y/n. I think they didn't understand hints at all. Are we not obvious enough?"

"Yeah, you for sure are. But not me. They looked at me for more than 5 seconds." Third engineer said impossibly proudly. "You know, i have hundreds more chances than you all." His voice is super-arrogant, and the whole sitting pose was like an tyrant king on throne. True winner.

"Pfft. Because you're used our year's supply of cologne? I sure they just wanted to ask you to quit room. Normal people at least wash themself, before using cologne." Calmly roasted him Fractal, and turned back to gLd3n. "You know, you can use some compliments. Practice. Imagine that i am them." Engineer put broken agent's glasses on mask.

"Uh-oh. Yeah, i think i can do that..." He coughed, clearing his throat. "Your blood is... So orange... Nice color. Second best color after yellow. Rusty as just red, but better. Like... Ehm... And you always so elegantly smeared on the asphalt on missions, like... Cat. You sure got flexibility that no agent have. Your liver shines more than the claws of a mag agent."

"You're necrophiliac or what? Too much attention to their corpse and organs, they would be FREAKED OUT and have nightmares about you."

Engineer giggled softly.

"Sounds romantic... Okay, okay! Show me how pro would do it!" gLd3n angerly took agent's glasses and put them on his mask, and sat on chair the way you usually do.

"Easy!" Fractal took the hand of the interlocutor. "Hello." He murmured in the most languid voice. "Can i fill your papers with my ink?"

gLd3n slapped his mask.

"How you dare! Who you think you are!" gLd3n trying to parody your voice as funny as possible.

"They would never say that... And their voice is better than THAT."

"Go ahead and check it out, if you're such a telepath. Im Y/n now! So try your best."

"Okay. Can we... Oh, you know what?" Fractal took the glasses and threw them in the trash. "I wouldn't teach you my best pick-up lines!"

gLd3n laughed.

"Nice flirt, they would like it! Especially their glasses in trash can."

"Okay, we are all bad at flirt. But there is so many ways to show love!.."

"Like?"

"Teach them fire and mag safety..." Whispered Fractal. Another engineer interrupted the sequel.

"Yea, who need flirt at all! It was invented by scammers to sell dumb courses for thousands of dollars! No one would ever like this crap, it's all scam. Would even one of you fall for this stupidity? I bet no. Don't even bother with it guys." Other engineers agreed approvingly.

"I'm sure Y/n are materialistic. What agent like them want?"

Silence. They were as amazing at brainstorm battles idea and humiliation of less mentally gifted colleagues, as they were terrible at brainstorming ideas for Y/n.

#madness combat #madness project nexus #madcom #madness combat x reader #Atp engineer #Atp engineer x reader #Atp engineers x reader

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