#at this point i blatantly refuse to believe that hes actually posh | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

starpirateee · 15 days

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I saw a headcannon once that Curt and Owen both have very strong Texan and Cockney (London working class) accents respectively, but have to use toned-down generic American/British accents when on the job. Do you think you could write something of them drunk, injured, sleepy, or stressed (basically in a scenario where theyre not thinking too much about their accent) where it slips out, and either confuses or entertains the other? Thanks! (also i love your writing so much its insane :D)

I have bought into this headcanon before, both sides of it! Working class Owen is something that can be so personal, actually, and full on cowboy Curt is so goddamn fun! Certainly will be good respite from the last fic 👀

Curt was bleeding and barely capable of holding himself together. He'd forced himself to keep face, not looking down enough to be able to see it. It was bad enough that he could feel it, sticky and viscous against his hand. That alone was enough to make him feel nauseous, but he was a professional. He knew how to deal with wounds without feeling the need to pass out.

Owen did as he always did. For him, it was just another part of the job, be it his own blood or someone else's, it was all the same when it came down to it. He had been the one to patch Curt up often enough, it was practically routine. This instance was no different.

With Curt suitably positioned, leaning back against his hands, Owen found the kit he needed and got to work. Curt dug his hands into the sofa to avoid having any kind of reaction to the stitches.

"I think you're lucky..." Owen remarked, laying his hand either side of the wound. "A few inches further down and you could say goodbye to ever charming a lady to the bedroom again..."

Curt tried to huff a breath of laughter, but that did nothing for him except make everything hurt more. "Ugh, god, please don't try an' be funny, I can't handle it-!"

Owen knew that Curt had always had a certain lilt to his words, some kind of intonation lost to time, but he'd never quite heard it like that before. He said nothing, but thinking about it had made him falter. The needle slipped a little, and Curt cursed under his breath.

"Jeez, Owen, ya couldn't take it easy?" He hissed.

No, he hadn't been hearing things. Curt really had slipped into a far more prominent southern twang than was normally present in his voice. One that he never even thought he'd hear from him. "Of... Course, I'm sorry." However surprised he was by that, it didn't stop the task at hand, or the need to finish it before it became too hard to see through the blood that was pooling.

Curt raised an eyebrow. "What'cha lookin' at me like that for?"

"I knew you were a southerner, but I didn't know it was supposed to be that obvious..."

"Wha-? Oh, fuckin' hell." Disappointment and something close to annoyance lingered on his face. He sighed, brushing a hand through his hair. "Yeah, I grew up in Texas. I tell people Austin, but that's just cos it's easier than sayin' some nowhere town 'bout fifty miles out."

"What's wrong with it?"

"Huh?"

"You don't seem particularly happy about it."

"It's just, I spent weeks on tonin' this accent down so I wouldn't stand out so much when I was on the job, y'know? All that, then it just goes an' comes back when I'm not thinkin' 'bout it..."

Owen nodded, and pressed down a little harder to alleviate some of the sensation from the needle. "It's a stress response, reverting back to accents that don't take so much strain to uphold." He answered automatically, feeling Curt shift a little bit under his hand.

"Right. Yeah. Somethin' like that."

"You don't have to think about it at all— you presumably grew up sounding like that... So you're focusing on something like the pain of being shot, and suddenly-"

"I'm seventeen again, and I sure as hell sound it, too." This time, Curt did manage a chuckle that didn't seem to hurt so much. Maybe it was because Owen was almost done patching him up, and there was less cause for every alarm bell in his body to be blaring... "Yeah, that's pretty much spot on."

"Would it make you feel any better to know that I have exactly the same stress response?"

"I'm sorry, what now?"

Owen didn't elaborate. He worked on finishing up Curt's stitches, and then started cleaning the needle and packing up the kit. Completely baffled by not getting a response, Curt held up a hand to stop him before he could move away. "Woah, woah, hold on. You're tellin' me you don't sound like that either?"

"It seems we've both been lying about exactly the same thing." A soft smile crossed Owen's face, and he simply decided to discard the kit on the coffee table for the time being. He'd played right into Curt's curiosities there, he supposed, so he might as well play into them a little more...

"I wanna know now!" True to his person, Curt remained ever the curious one. He carefully replaced his shirt, and leaned forwards as much as the pain would allow. "What d'you sound like? Where are you from?"

Owen raised his hands. "Would you let me clean up before I told you that, please?"

Curt resigned with a nod, and followed Owen from the sofa with a glance as he wandered away to wash his hands of the blood that may have otherwise stained his fingertips. When he returned, he was waiting eagerly, intrigued to find out where Owen had come from and why it seemed both of them held sacred the exact same lie.

"I suppose I had the same problem as you," Owen started, as he took a seat next to Curt and shifted enough to look at him. "It was a matter of just... Wishing to be invisible among the men at the agency, and then it became something of a habit..."

"So, what about it, then? Where'd you grow up?"

"I grew up in Southwark. It's... Close enough to Peckham? You've been there."

He had. And he remembered how strong the accents were around there, too. To hear something like that coming from Owen would probably send him into shock, he supposed, especially since he was so used to what he was hearing now. He caught himself staring and shook his head. "No way..."

Owen took a breath. He had to think about dropping the accent he had now, it had become a subconscious effort to keep it up, and he hadn't actively heard his own, true voice in a long time.

"People don't— y'know— really ask for clarification when you tell 'em you're from London, so I tend not to bother givin' any better than that... Besides," he smiled, "I get foreigners thinkin' I'm right posh, and that's kinda fun, really."

Curt stared. He'd literally been gearing himself up for the sudden change, but hearing Owen sound so rough was not something he'd previously ever imagined. "Oh my god... You really never run outta ways to surprise me, huh?"

"Well, you asked..."

"Oh, and I'm not complainin'! 'S just unexpected when I've known you with that other voice for so long."

"I could say the same..."

"Why'd ya let people believe you're posh if you ain't?"

"... 'S easier. Most people just assume all of London is exactly the same, and who'm I to argue?" He leaned in a little, letting his gaze meet Curt's. "But, you wanna know the hardest part 'bout tryna keep that up?"

"Shoot."

"I used to swear like a sailor."

Curt laughed. When he realised Owen was being entirely serious, he laughed only harder. "Now that, I gotta hear!"

"Get me drunk enough, and you have yourself a deal."

#spies are forever #saf #curtwen #agent curt mega #owen carvour #void offering #star mail #tw blood #tw injury #nova's tags →#i've said it before and i'll say it again #working! class! owen! carvour!!!!#at this point i blatantly refuse to believe that hes actually posh #but again... thats the projection :)#let's get these idiots stressed and fuck around with their accents :)#btw southwark is 'suh-thuk'#don't ask... we have weird ways of pronouncing places that look like they should be pronounced completely differently

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codename-mango · 3 years

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Clarice's Story - Season 2

I recently finished Clarice's canon route in Season 2, and I'm currently replaying Season 3 to give myself a refresher on Seb and nail down the details of Clarice's story in that Season. So this will have a Part 2, but I want to write out the decisions made that ultimately led to The Least Satisfying Ending of Season 2™, and the reasons behind them that are informed by her past and personality. I know I care more about this than literally anyone, but I'm doing it anyway. So let's get started!

Before the Villa

Raised by Ursula, a famous actress with Antisocial Personality Disorder. She was very loving to Clarice, but wanted her to grow a hard shell like she did.

Ursula gets a participation trophy in parenting for trying her best, but alas, Clarice has severe anxiety that she can't properly express.

Didn't have any friends before going on the show.

Clarice applied for the show with the hope of finding someone nice, though she had very low expectations. She expected all the girls (and fans) to hate her because she went in planning to be ruthless. She was very aware that her mother will be watching, and wanted to make her proud.

Day 1

Friendly to Hope right off the bat - No reason not to be, right?

"I need to look after Number 1." - Clarice isn't underhanded. She tries to be as honest as possible, and this is no exception. The girls need to know where she stands.

"I'm more the quiet and mysterious type." - Outside the Villa, Clarice is much more reserved due to her upbringing.

Picked Noah - He's handsome and doesn't try some cheesy line right off the bat.

Objected to Hope picking him immediately - First day and she's already been screwed over. Her pride is hurt, and she's not going to take this lying down.

Thought Bobby was nice, but there was blatantly no sparks there. He didn't even step forward. She gave him no illusions that she's interested, and flirted with Noah and the other boys at every opportunity. Prioritized grafting over making friends.

However, she welcomed Priya and condemned Lottie for being unnecessarily nasty.

Clarice didn't make any outright enemies except Hope for stealing Noah.

Participated in Lottie's celebration of the Moon - Strategically important to be civil with the girls of course

Day 2

Stayed friendly with Priya, and tried to be with Lottie

Confronted Priya for stealing Bobby - Yeah, she didn't like Bobby herself, but this was the second time she'd had her partner stolen. She was angry and embarrassed.

Day 3

Helped Hannah during breakfast and encouraged her to toughen up - This isn't Friend Island.

Told Rocco to pick her - It wasn't enough to steal Bobby back. She didn't even like him. But there was no chance of getting Noah back from Hope. Rocco was her real second choice on Day 1, and taking him helps her save face.

Told Hannah that Gary won't choose her - She thinks Hannah is totally naive, but has been friendly thus far and respected her couple.

Day 4

"If there's no spark, you've got problems."

Insisted Gary apologizes to Marisol

Grinded on Noah during the Slime Challenge - She's not sure if she's actually interested in him yet, or if she's just trying to piss off Hope.

Spoke up for Priya doing the same thing, and ignores Lottie

Tried to keep the peace between Lottie and Priya, and helps them resolve the issue - It's easier to live in the Villa without needless drama. Clarice's anxiety is hiked up enough as it is.

Day 5

Clarice went down to the pool alone to meet Lucas and Henrik - Why wouldn't she?

While she never cheated on Rocco, she did connect with Lucas like she never had with anyone before. She found him charming and kind and admired his humility despite his obviously posh background.

She definitely suspected Marisol and Rocco having a thing, but hoped he would talk to her about it before acting on it.

Day 6

Clarice was furious about Rocco kissing Marisol during the Kiss and Tell challenge.

She confronted Marisol afterwards, but wasn't aggressive about it. Marisol was by far the girl she's closest to in the Villa at that point. Despite feeling hurt, she wasn't about to ruin the start of a genuine friendship over a man.

Day 7

Worked with Lottie to ice out Rocco, but does agree to speak with him privately.

She was honest about why the girls were upset with him, and unleashed a bit of fury upon him.

Helped Noah win Mr. Love Island - She started to genuinely connect with him and found him very sweet, even though she thought his devotion to Hope was over the top and completely irrational.

Day 8

Extremely worried about the Mean Tweets challenge. She's had more than her fair share of Mean Tweets outside the Villa. She was worried how she came across to the public. She was even worried the producers would throw in one of her mother's.

Oh yeah, Ursula livetweets every episode.

If I had to include one of her tweets in the challenge, it would be:

"It's like Bobby isn't even trying"

She hated that Lucas went home. He was the one person besides Noah that she could see herself having feelings for.

Day 9

Confused by why Lottie wants to get with Gary, but doesn't say anything discouraging. Agrees to not pick him at the next recoupling.

Picked Noah to go on the date - They turn out to have great chemistry, and Clarice was even hopeful that she might be able to choose him at the recoupling.

Clarice fell back on picking Henrik after Hope chose Noah. She didn't see herself with any of the other OG guys.

Day 10

Clarice agreed to work with Priya on Operation Nope - She wanted to be with Noah, and this was the perfect opportunity to really crack on with him. Obviously she knew that Priya fancied him too, but may the best woman win, right?

She didn't tell anyone about ON.

She actually related to Hope acting snappy out of fear, but Hope's insistence on focusing on her rubbed Clarice the wrong way. She tried finding a common ground, and Hope ignored the gesture. She used that as (very poor) justification for...

Clarice kissed Noah. She knew they were having a moment, and went for it. She regretted it after he panicked and left.

Clarice dodged Chelsea's first hug - Why would she want a total stranger touching her without asking?? Though she sort of regrets it in hindsight, because of how close they are now.

"So he's just going to pretend he's innocent then?"

Day 11

She downplayed the severity of Lottie's kiss with Gary - "Hannah only knew him for 3 days." Besides, she's not a hypocrite who would condemn someone else for doing the same thing she did.

Said no to helping Bobby and Marisol resolve the conflicts in the Villa - She didn't trust herself to not make things worse. If things get better, then they'll get better on their own.

Brought Hope the hot chocolate - She knew she was one of the biggest reasons Hope was miserable. They didn't get along, but Clarice never did any of it to hurt Hope. That being said...

She refused to apologize - That's not the kind of woman Ursula raised. She needed to remind herself that she is her Number 1 priority.

Clarice barely interacted with Jakub. He was never her type.

She did apologize to Henrik. She had an obligation to communicate her feelings to him, and didn't. So she apologized. She told him that she fancied Noah and wanted to pursue him, and they broke up.

Bobby was the one to come comfort her and start grafting. She shut it down pretty quickly.

After Marisol asked about it, Clarice told the truth and that she wasn't interested in him. Marisol asked who she is interested in, and she told her Ibrahim just to put a stop to the conversation.

Day 12

Clarice eavesdropped on Noah's conversation with Priya. She was so excited that Noah said he had feelings for her, and that it was all worth it.

No secret of Clarice's was exposed during the Down in Dirt challenge. But if Henrik had opened hers despite her insistence not to, it would've read:

"Clarice was once escorted out of her own great-aunt's pub."

Clarice insisted Priya apologize and make peace with Hope, but refused to back down herself after it came out that Noah wanted to pick her.

"Priya stirring the pot and getting away with it. Can't say I disapprove."

Day 13

Clarice ate the whole cake. Canonically. I don't care, it's one of my favorite parts of the game.

Clarice coupled up with Noah at the Disaster Recoupling.

She was so excited to finally be coupled up with him. She savored every kiss and every touch. That was it for her.

Day 14

Said goodbye to Noah before sneaking off to Casa Amor

The only guy who caught her interest was Kassam, but he clearly wasn't interested, so she never acted on it.

Arjun was basically the leftovers from the other girls, and he seemed like he would be respectful of her space, so Clarice ended up with Arjun for the entirety of Casa Amor. (Even though he didn't give her nearly enough space for her liking.)

Day 15

Clarice didn't volunteer for any extra Villa vs. Villa challenges.

Clarice insisted on remaining loyal to Noah throughout CA.

She enjoyed getting closer to the girls, but was otherwise very reserved.

Day 16

Clarice indulged in Lottie's tea reading, but refused to believe it.

Clarice was shocked by the video the girls received, but still refused to believe Noah would go and sleep with another girl. He wouldn't do that to Hope, and he wouldn't do that to her.

She tried to comfort Hope the rest of the time there. Hope was obviously still upset about the Disaster Recoupling, but she appreciated that Clarice had remained loyal during CA.

Day 17

Clarice spent breakfast with Kassam. She really enjoyed it.

Clarice stuck with Noah.

Day 18

Obviously, Clarice was hurt by Noah bringing back Blake.

Ursula had this to say about Blake's "trying so hard" comment:

"The cheek of this one. Good luck with your career after this, babe."

Looking back, she regards it as karma. Something she deserved.

She didn't really know how to handle it. She kept her distance from Blake as much as possible.

Agreed with Shannon that you get what you deserve in the Villa - She thinks about this conversation often, especially after how she finished the season.

Helped the girls figure out what happened while they were away, and sort of regretted it after...

Noah went back to Hope. Clarice's grievances were ignored and criticized. She was frustrated and hurt.

Clarice saved Elijah from the dumping. She thought maybe she could start to move on from Noah with him.

She said goodbye to Priya, and sort of hated Bobby for letting her be sent home.

She had her first anxiety attack at the Villa that night. Gary and Chelsea were the only ones who knew about it, because they were the ones who stayed up with her until she calmed down.

Day 19

Confided in Chelsea and Shannon that she wished she could've been with Noah

Rather than Shannon teaching her how to read body language, Clarice challenged her to another game of 2 Truths 1 Lie, claiming Ursula raised a perfect liar. (She lost. But Shannon said she should try poker.)

Day 20

Scrambled eggs! It was the only kind Ursula could ever make.

Clarice was nervous about the arrival of Elisa and Jo. Although Jo seemed friendly enough, and Elisa was someone she briefly worked with before.

Didn't agree to talk to Ibrahim for Shannon after the double dates - Shannon needed to talk to him herself. And if he lies, why waste your time with him?

Insisted that Jo be given some space; Defended Chelsea while disagreeing with her actions

Day 21

Had to take multiple breaks from the girls day out - Good lord the fighting was exhausting and nerve-wracking

Helped Hope untangle the mess

Laughed out loud when Jo called her a people pleaser - "I might just be adopted then!"

"A people pleaser! Good on you, love!"

Legitimately almost cried when Chelsea called her amazing??? And when Hope praised her for taking the high road??? She might actually be a good person????

Got the girls to all make up

Cooked 🌟creamy garlic pasta🌟 for the group with Elijah

Started thinking she might have a chance with Noah again

Day 22

Asked Elijah to choose her at the Recoupling - Gave no promises that they'd be the next epic love story

Pining for Noah...

Day 23

Agreed to help Rahim ask Jo to be his girlfriend - Mainly for Noah's sake, because they're best friends

Went shopping with Elijah - Got Jo's nachos, chocolate, and blanked Elijah's flirtations

First pillow fort!

Grinded on Noah's lap during the Heartrate Challenge, then went to Elijah

Went to bed early

Day 24

Excited and relieved to have Lucas back!

Hugged Hannah upon her arrival - Overall, she was proud of Hannah for coming back more willing to get what she wanted.

Named the spider Todd

Reassured Lottie about Hannah

Clarice reassured Elijah after her date, but went up to the terrace and kissed Lucas.

Later at the party, she went back and slept with him. - After he came back, she thought maybe she was finally over Noah. She can be with Lucas and finally be happy in a couple. And she definitely rushed it.

Day 25

She told Elijah everything, and she felt horrible that he was more into her than she was into him.

Confessed to the girls after

Obviously bombed the Happily Ever After challenge

Clarice was left to couple up with Lucas.

Day 26

She was noticeably distant from Lucas - She wrote it off as guilt for cheating with him, though she was still happy to be coupled up with him.

Lottie's snide comments about her cheating made her distance herself from Lottie too.

Became Bra Sisters with Chelsea! And made up a handshake!

Lost the Couple Trouble challenge, so she and Lucas didn't go on the date in the Hideaway

Talking to Gary about his body image and therapy inspired her to go to therapy herself once the show was over. She really related to him when he said this:

Helped Marisol pack - Marisol was still one of her closest friends in the Villa. And she honestly thought it should've been her and Lucas going home.

Day 27

Babies? P A N I C M O D E!!

Clarice does want kids in the future, but doesn't trust herself to not fuck them up.

Very irritated by Lucas's refusal to help with the baby. It stressed her out more than it really needed to, so their unsteady relationship took a hit.

The beach break was a relief. And by the end of it, she was really happy to have made actual friends on the show.

Sent Ibrahim and Jo home - Sure, they're a better couple, but Chelsea is her emotional support bra!

Day 28

Finally got to talk to her mother. She "praised" Clarice for not letting "peer pressure" stop her from getting the guy she really wanted. (It was really a reminder that she still doesn't have him, and she should still go for him. However, what Ursula called peer pressure is what most people consider respecting relationship boundaries.)

Felt awkward talking to Lucas's family

Said no to being his girlfriend at the Final Date - They hadn't been together long enough, and his text conversation with Ursula was fine, but cryptic.

Privately relieved that Noah hadn't asked Hope to be his girlfriend yet

Day 29

Dress shopping was... An experience. She's definitely not unfamiliar with formal wear, but she spent a long time deciding who she should dress for. She ultimately chose a dress she knew Lucas would like.

Hopeless at dancing. She never got any of the steps right.

She tried to be as lighthearted with the speech as possible - She has a hard time opening up, and really, there wasn't many deep feelings to express for him.

Jumped in the pool

Sent Hannah and Elijah home - It was a tough decision, and it came down to Lottie and Gary's relationship being stronger.

Went up to the terrace with Noah, but she decided she was done with him leading her on, struggling to make a decision. She ended it once and for all, as opposed to sleeping with him.

Day 30

Still reeling from the night before

Helped Chelsea make breakfast - She told Chelsea that she wasn't feeling confident in her couple and their chance of winning.

Clarice and Lucas made it all the way to the end, but Noah and Hope won Love Island.

Lucas acted happy to be with Clarice until they went back to the Villa for the After Party. Then, he dumped her. - Clarice was furious, but she felt as though she absolutely deserved it.

Noah decided it would be best if they stayed away from each other.

Clarice told Hannah about what Lucas did, and Hannah promised to give him hell. That solidified their friendship for after the show.

Clarice pulled Chelsea aside, Chelsea nicked a bottle of champagne for them, and confessed everything to her. Her thing with Noah, his lingering looks, the terrace, Lucas acting for the cameras, everything.

Clarice went home with her mother. And cried almost the entire way to the airport.

After the Villa

She faced backlash for her actions in the Villa, but the Islanders she befriended came to her defense.

She had a long talk with Hope after everyone had a chance to watch the season back. It was a miracle Hope and Noah won, considering how much of his time with Clarice had been included in episodes. Hope broke up with him shortly after, and she and Clarice started to repair what they could. They agreed that they absolutely would've been friends if Clarice had made different choices. But for now, they're just being civil.

Ursula apologized for all the biting remarks about people in the Villa, except Noah and Lucas.

Clarice managed to keep her from running a full on smear campaign against them.

Clarice started therapy, and even got anti-anxiety medication.

The producers of Love Island offered her a second chance.

#litg #litg s2 #clarice figg #long post #this took forever #but it's done

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halothenthehorns · 3 years

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TLTNL- Babbity Rabbity and Her Cackling Stump

"Oh, I want this one!" Sirius said at once.

Lily couldn't help cracking up laughing, she never would have believed Sirius would get so enthusiastic about reading a children's story, but no one protested as he began.

Of all the strange things he'd heard while here, Harry decided this one had to hit his top ten. What about a crazy rabbit now? Cackling Stump? Professor Sprout had sure never mentioned that.

Sirius began, much to no one's surprise but everyone's amusement, in a highly respectable tone as if reading a letter from the Queen of England herself. Shoulders held strait and mock pushing glasses steadily into place, he had the others shoulders shaking even as he carried on like this.

A long time ago, in a far-off land, there lived a foolish king who decided that he alone should have the power of magic.

"Right, I'm sure that worked out for him," James rolled his eyes at once.

He therefore commanded the head of his army to form a Brigade of Witch-Hunters, and issued them with a pack of ferocious black hounds.

Sirius said that with a little too much pride, and Harry honestly couldn't help but smile at the display.

At the same time, the King caused proclamations to be read in every village and town across the land:

"Wanted by the King, an Instructor in Magic."

No true witch or wizard dared volunteer for the post, for they were all in hiding from the Brigade of Witch-Hunters.

"Well that plan rather backfired on him right away," Lily chuckled.

However, a cunning charlatan with no magical power saw a chance of enriching himself, and arrived at the palace, claiming to be a wizard of enormous skill. The charlatan performed a few simple tricks, which convinced the foolish King of his magical powers, and was immediately appointed Grand Sorcerer in Chief, the King's Private Magic Master.

"That's quite a title," Remus yawned. "I feel bad for the person who had to announce his entering a room."

The charlatan bade the King give him a large sack of gold, so that he might purchase wands and other magical necessities. He also requested several large rubies, to be used in the casting of curative charms, and a silver chalice or two, for the storing and maturing of potions. All these things the foolish King supplied.

James scratched at the back of his neck as he thought about it, wondering why the Muggle thought they'd use any of that, and clearly missing the snickering line about the foolish King.

"My question is, wouldn't he already have those things, being such a skilled sorcerer and all," Remus couldn't help but mock before Sirius shushed him.

The charlatan stowed the treasure safely in his own house and returned to the palace grounds. He did not know that he was being watched by an old woman who lived in a hovel on the edge of the grounds. Her name was Babbitty, and she was the washerwoman who kept the palace linens soft, fragrant and white. Peeping from behind her drying sheets, Babbitty saw the charlatan snap two twigs from one of the King's trees and disappear into the palace.

The charlatan gave one of the twigs to the King and assured him that it was a wand of tremendous power.

Here next he actually switched, to a poorly accent of a Cockney man, reminding Harry a bit of Stan now in this roll, which Harry was sure Sirius had done on purpose.

"It will only work, however," said the charlatan, "when you are worthy of it."

Every morning the charlatan and the foolish King walked out into the palace grounds, where they waved their wands and shouted nonsense at the sky. The charlatan was careful to perform more tricks, so that the King remained convinced of his Grand Sorcerer's skill, and of the power of the wands that had cost so much gold.

One morning, as the charlatan and the foolish King were twirling their twigs, and hopping in circles, and chanting meaningless rhymes, a loud cackling reached the King's ears. Babbitty the washerwoman was watching the King and the charlatan from the window of her tiny cottage, and was laughing so hard she soon sank out of sight, too weak to stand.

"I love that feeling," James's smile grew back at once, Sirius just read this with such unrestrained enjoyment, his tone promised they should all be feeling the exact same way now.

"I must look most undignified, to make the old washerwoman laugh so!" said the King.

For this he'd actually used his own voice, still in a bit more dignified tone, causing James to snort harder than ever and Remus to mutter a few big headed comments that Sirius took no notice of.

He ceased his hopping and twig twirling, and frowned.

"I really wonder how it took him so long to realize that," Lily couldn't help but agree.

"I grow weary of practice! When shall I be ready to perform real spells in front of my subjects, Sorcerer?"

The charlatan tried to soothe his pupil, assuring him that he would soon be capable of astonishing feats of magic, but Babbitty's cackling had stung the foolish King more than the charlatan knew.

"Tomorrow," said the King, "we shall invite our court to watch their King perform magic!"

The charlatan saw that the time had come to take his treasure and flee.

"Alas, Your Majesty, it is impossible! I had forgotten to tell Your Majesty that I must set out on a long journey tomorrow."

"Oh yes, slipped the mind till this very moment and all-" Remus stated in a posh voice, clearly trying to mimic Sirius who elbowed him amid more snickering.

"If you leave this palace without my permission, Sorcerer, my Brigade of Witch-Hunters will hunt you down with their hounds! Tomorrow morning you will assist me to perform magic for the benefit of my lords and ladies, and if anybody laughs at me, I shall have you beheaded!"

The King stormed back to the palace, leaving the charlatan alone and afraid. Not all his cunning could save him now, for he could not run away, nor could he help the King with magic that neither of them knew.

Seeking a vent for his fear and his anger, the charlatan approached the window of Babbitty the washerwoman. Peering inside, he saw the little old lady sitting at her table, polishing a wand. In a corner behind her, the King's sheets were washing themselves in a wooden tub.

"How reckless," Lily raised a brow. "The King's on a manhunt and she's doing that in broad daylight, after drawing attention from laughing at them."

"Lily, you're getting as bad as Remus. Enjoy the stupid story," Sirius huffed without breaking character, and Lily had to bite her lip harder than ever to stop from falling off the couch laughing.

The charlatan understood at once that Babbitty was a true witch, and that she who had given him his awful problem could also solve it.

"Crone!" roared the charlatan. "Your cackling has cost me dear! If you fail to help me, I shall denounce you as a witch, and it will be you who is torn apart by the King's hounds!"

"I'm sure if that was actually a bother to her she wouldn't be in this situation to begin with," James took his turn poking a flaw in this, but Sirius blatantly ignored him as well.

Old Babbitty smiled at the charlatan and assured him that she would do everything in her power to help.

The charlatan instructed her to conceal herself inside a bush while the King gave his magical display, and to perform the King's spells for him, without his knowledge. Babbitty agreed to the plan but asked one question.

"What, sir, if the King attempts a spell Babbitty cannot perform?"

For this, he tried to imitate Lily, which she cottoned onto at once. "You little toerag, I am not your wash woman."

"Whatever do you mean Lily?" He batted his eyes and refused to acknowledge he was doing any such thing, or change as he continued.

Lily fingered her wand and considered, but the others were just laughing too hard, and finally she gave in to take the joke.

The charlatan scoffed.

"Your magic is more than equal to that fool's imagination," he assured her, and he retired to the castle, well pleased with his own cleverness.

"Most idiots are," she still couldn't help but mutter.

The following morning all the lords and ladies of the kingdom assembled in the palace grounds.

The King climbed on to a stage in front of them, with the charlatan by his side.

"I shall firstly make this lady's hat disappear!" cried the King, pointing his twig at a noblewoman.

From inside a bush nearby, Babbitty pointed her wand at the hat and caused it to vanish.

Great was the astonishment and admiration of the crowd, and loud their applause for the jubilant King.

"Next, I shall make that horse fly!" cried the King,

"Now that's a complicated little spell, putting wings on a horse," James grinned, "or does he mean turning it into an actual fly?"

"I'm guessing your mum used different spells this King was performing," Lily asked curiously, but Sirius cut them off by pouting, "would you lot quit interrupting! I'm giving you a show over here and you lot have no appreciation."

Remus arched a curious brow at him when he told, "Sirius, I was under the impression you've been doing that over ten years now. I'm still waiting for my first intermission to take a piss."

Sirius huffed and muttered some more about ingrates before continuing louder.

pointing his twig at his own steed.

From inside the bush, Babbitty pointed her wand at the horse and it rose high into the air.

The crowd was still more thrilled and amazed,

Babbitty Rabbitty and her Cackling Stump and they roared their appreciation of their magical King.

"And now," said the King, looking all around for an idea; and the Captain of his Brigade of Witch-Hunters ran forwards.

"Your Majesty," said the Captain, "this very morning, Sabre died of eating a poisonous toadstool! Bring him back to life, Your Majesty, with your wand!"

"This one was the same though," James whispered quietly to Lily, his parents first time ever telling him everything had a limit, even magic.

And the Captain heaved on to the stage the lifeless body of the largest of the witch-hunting hounds.

The foolish King brandished his twig and pointed it at the dead dog. But inside the bush, Babbitty smiled, and did not trouble to lift her wand, for no magic can raise the dead.

When the dog did not stir, the crowd began first to whisper, and then to laugh.

"This King is of poor showman ship," Sirius couldn't help but interrupt himself this time at no lack of recovery for this. "He could have made up anything, these people have no more clue than him. He hasn't gotten that far along with his magic training yet, or the truth even."

"No one can be like you Sirius," Remus happily reminded, who preened at the snide comment and kept going.

They suspected that the King's first two feats had been mere tricks after all.

"How do you make lifting a horse a trick?" James rolled his eyes, honestly, Muggles really would believe anything.

"Why doesn't it work?" the King screamed at the charlatan, who bethought himself of the only ruse left to him.

"There, Your Majesty, there!" he shouted, pointing at the bush where Babbitty sat concealed. "I see her plain, a wicked witch who is blocking your magic with her own evil spells! Seize her, somebody, seize her!"

Babbitty fled from the bush, and the Brigade of Witch-Hunters set off in pursuit, unleashing their hounds, who bayed for Babbitty's blood.

But as she reached a low hedge, the little witch vanished from sight, and when the King, the charlatan and all the courtiers gained the other side, they found the pack of witch-hunting hounds barking and scrabbling around a bent and aged tree.

"She has turned herself into a tree!" screamed the charlatan and, dreading lest Babbitty turn back into a woman and denounce him, he added, "Cut her down, Your Majesty, that is the way to treat evil witches!"

Harry couldn't help but shake his head sadly. Though he was confident that hadn't been Babbity's actions, it still saddened him this man really went through with killing some innocent person just to save himself. Making him question more every day what exactly blurred the line between those Wizards who thought themselves better when there were Muggles who would do the same.

An axe was brought at once, and the old tree was felled to loud cheers from the courtiers and the charlatan.

However, as they were making ready to return to the palace, the sound of loud cackling stopped them in their tracks.

"Fools!" cried Babbitty's voice from the stump they had left behind. "No witch or wizard can be killed by being cut in half! Take the axe, if you do not believe me, and cut the Grand Sorcerer in two!"

The Captain of the Brigade of Witch-Hunters was eager to make the experiment, but as he raised the axe the charlatan fell to his knees, screaming for mercy and confessing all his wickedness.

"At least someone got their dues," Lily chuckled for this woman's quick thinking, not nearly as sour at Sirius anymore trying to feign her voice into the story.

As he was dragged away to the dungeons, the tree stump cackled more loudly than ever.

"By cutting a witch in half, you have unleashed a dreadful curse upon your kingdom!" It told the petrified King. "Henceforth, every stroke of harm that you inflict upon my fellow witches and wizards will feel like an axe stroke in your own side, until you will wish you could die of it!"

"I always did like this story, Babbity's a great role model," James happily agreed. She was taking this opportunity to do right by everything, instead of say, just asking for those riches again like some would have.

"What about Babbity then?" Lilly couldn't help but challenge. "If we were to have a little girl."

James hummed thoughtfully but gave nothing away.

At that, the King fell to his knees too, and told the stump that he would issue a proclamation at once, protecting all the witches and wizards of the kingdom, and allowing them to practise their magic in peace.

"Very good," said the stump, "but you have not yet made amends to Babbitty!"

"Anything, anything at all!" cried the foolish King, wringing his hands before the stump.

"You will erect a statue of Babbitty upon me, in memory of your poor washerwoman, and to remind you for ever of your own foolishness!" said the stump.

"Ah, guess I don't blame her having one thing for herself though," Harry couldn't help but keep snickering away at this comeuppance.

The King agreed to it at once, and promised to engage the foremost sculptor in the land, and have the statue made of pure gold.

"Can't do anything halfway though," Remus chuckled.

Then the shamed King and all the noblemen and women returned to the palace, leaving the tree stump cackling behind them.

When the grounds were deserted once more, there wriggled from a hole between the roots of the tree stump a stout and whiskery old rabbit with a wand clamped between her teeth.

"She's an Animgaus," Lily said in surprise.

"Yep," the other three said at once, little smiles still in place.

"Such a silly little tail, but McGonagall actually referenced it in her lecture about Animagus', so we just had to look it up," James chuckled.

"Apparently it was one of the first and only times used in a children's tale, but then from there we really started digging into the subject, and," Sirius trailed off suggestively with an unneeded wave at himself.

Lily just kept smiling in surprise that such a thing would mean so much to one person, and Remus shaking his head affectionately at his friends all these years later still proved as much.

Babbitty hopped out of the grounds and far away, and ever after a golden statue of the washerwoman stood upon the tree stump, and no witch or wizard was ever persecuted in the kingdom again.

Albus Dumbledore on "Babbitty Rabbitty and her Cackling Stump"

Sirius couldn't stop now, and instead adopted the phony voice of Dumbledore, honestly managing quite a good impression.

The story of "Babbitty Rabbitty and her Cackling Stump" is, in many ways, the most "real" of Beedle's tales, in that the magic described in the story conforms, almost entirely, to known magical laws.

It was through this story that many of us first discovered that magic could not bring back the dead "and a great disappointment and shock it was, convinced as we had been, as young children, that our parents would be able to awaken our dead rats and cats with one wave of their wands.

Though some six centuries have elapsed since Beedle wrote this tale, and while we have devised innumerable ways of maintaining the illusion of our loved ones' continuing presence, wizards still have not found a way of reuniting body and soul once death has occurred.

Harry watched Sirius read that with a heavy burn in his throat that he'd felt every time he looked to his parents as well. He looked quickly away and adjusted his glasses, determined not to let his mind linger and dredge that up again so soon, he was going to enjoy these moments!

As the eminent wizarding philosopher Bertrand de Penses-Profondes writes in his celebrated work A Study into the Possibility of Reversing the Actual and Metaphysical Effects of Natural Death, with Particular Regard to the Reintegration of Essence and Matter:

Sirius had to stop and actually take a breath after such an exquisite title, honestly going cross eyed at the idea of that being on the spine of a book, before finishing.

"Give it up. It's never going to happen."1

Then promptly started laughing like a madman, the others not resisting joining in.

The tale of Babbitty Rabbitty does, however, give us one of the earliest literary mentions of an Animagus, for Babbitty the washerwoman is possessed of the rare magical ability to transform into an animal at will.

Animagi make up a small fraction of the wizarding population. Achieving perfect, spontaneous human to animal transformation requires much study and practice, and many witches and wizards consider that their time might be better employed in other ways. Certainly, the application of such a talent is limited unless one has a great need of disguise or concealment.

"Honestly I don't think about that part too much," James shrugged. "It's not like it comes in handy when running to spontaneously burst into a deer and keep running, then you can't shoot spells back."

"I can see the convenience for smaller animals though," Sirius corrected with a curious look. "I could fit into smaller spaces as Padfoot, duck out of the way and honestly run faster."

"I still can't believe you fools convinced the whole Order of your stupid nicknames anymore than the school, it's not like you're subtle," Lily told them affectionately.

"They'll get the joke when we tell them in a few years," James waved off.

It is for this reason that the Ministry of Magic has insisted upon a register of Animagi, for there can be no doubt that this kind of magic is of greatest use to those engaged in surreptitious, covert or even criminal activity.2

James and Sirius looked highly offended their one and only way to help their friend was deemed like this, but Remus just looked sad. His friends foolish attempt to help him turned out to be the first time in his life he'd ever felt like he wasn't bearing a curse. It's not as if he'd ever ask another wizard to try the same, to help more werewolves in this way, but was it so unreasonable to realize help was out there?

Whether there was ever a washerwoman who was able to transform into a rabbit is open to doubt; however, some magical historians have suggested that Beedle modelled Babbitty on the famous French sorceress Lisette de Lapin, who was convicted of witchcraft in Paris in 1422. To the astonishment of her Muggle guards, who were later tried for helping the witch to escape, Lisette vanished from her prison cell the night before she was due to be executed. Although it has never been proven that Lisette was an Animagus who managed to squeeze through the bars of her cell window, a large white rabbit was subsequently seen crossing the English Channel in a cauldron with a sail fitted to it, and a similar rabbit later became a trusted advisor at the court of King Henry VI.

"Oh, well that's not suspicious at all," Sirius cackled, while Lily twirled a bit of hair around and wondered why that sounded vaguely familiar. Probably something she'd blocked out from a History of Magic Essay.

The King in Beedle's story is a foolish Muggle who both covets and fears magic. He believes that he can become a wizard simply by learning incantations and waving a wand. This may have contributed to that Muggle King's reputation for mental instability.

He is completely ignorant of the true nature of magic and wizards, and therefore swallows the preposterous suggestions of both the charlatan and Babbitty. This is certainly typical of a particular type of Muggle thinking: in their ignorance, they are prepared to accept all sorts of impossibilities about magic, including the proposition that Babbitty has turned herself into a tree that can still think and talk.

"Honestly, that was the most ridiculous part," Lily agreed.

(It is worth noting at this point, however, that while Beedle uses the talking-tree device to show us how ignorant the Muggle King is, he also asks us to believe that Babbitty can talk while she is a rabbit.)

"I thought she was just curled up under the stump and changed afterwards," James said in surprise.

"Details," Sirius waved off.

This might be poetic licence, but I think it more likely that Beedle had only heard about Animagi, and never met one, for this is the only liberty that he takes with magical laws in the story. Animagi do not retain the power of human speech while in their animal form, although they keep all their human thinking and reasoning powers.

"Tragically, Sirius never did recover from his first transformation though and now retains the idiocy of a puppy," Remus sighed deeply while mock wiping a tear away.

"Don't be ridiculous Moony," James said pleasantly that did nothing to make Sirius believe defense was coming. "He's always had the attention span of a pup, now he just has a better excuse."

"I hate you all," Sirius huffed.

This, as every schoolchild knows, is the fundamental difference between being an Animagus, and Transfiguring oneself into an animal. In the case of the latter, one would become the animal entirely, with the consequence that one would know no magic, be unaware that one had ever been a wizard, and would need somebody else to Transfigure one back to one's original form.

"Why did McGonagall have to change Malfoy back from a ferret again?" Harry muttered of no one.

I think it possible that in choosing to make his heroine pretend to turn into a tree, and threaten the King with pain like an axe stroke in his own side, Beedle was inspired by real magical traditions and practices. Trees with wand-quality wood have always been fiercely protected by the wandmakers who tend them, and cutting down such trees to steal them risks incurring not only the malice of the Bowtruckles3 usually nesting there, but also the ill effect of any protective curses placed around them by their owners. In Beedle's time, the Cruciatus Curse4 had not yet been made illegal by the Ministry of Magic, and could have produced precisely the sensation with which Babbitty threatens the King.

1Wizarding photographs and portraits move and (in the case of the latter) talk just like their subjects. Other rare objects, such as the Mirror of Erised, may also reveal more than a static image of a lost loved one. Ghosts are transparent, moving, talking and thinking versions of wizards and witches who wished, for whatever reason, to remain on earth.

2Professor McGonagall, Deputy Headmistress of Hogwarts, has asked me to make clear that she became an Animagus merely as a result of her extensive researches into all fields of Transfiguration, and that she has never used the ability to turn into a tabby cat for any surreptitious purpose, setting aside legitimate business on behalf of the Order of the Phoenix where secrecy and concealment were imperative.

Sirius couldn't help but burst out laughing again, and honestly the others couldn't blame him.

"Was McGonagall reading these notes over his shoulder and told him to put in that postscript, so that any mad man reading these as well would think, oh, so sorry for thinking otherwise!" Remus tried to demand while holding his sides.

"Yes," James said at once, the lot of them hardly intelligible they were giggling so hard.

3For a full description of these curious little tree-dwellers, see Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.

4The Cruciatus, Imperius and Avada Kedavra Curses were first classified as Unforgivable in 1717, with the strictest penalties attached to their use.

"Hey, I actually knew that one," James muttered, trying for a proud tone, but merely shivering all over again of all those curses had done to his family.

As intensive studies in the Department of Mysteries demonstrated as far back as 1672, wizards and witches are born, not created. While the "rogue" ability to perform magic sometimes appears in those of apparent non-magical descent (though several later studies have suggested that there will have been a witch or wizard somewhere on the family tree), Muggles cannot perform magic. The best - or worst - they could hope for are random and uncontrollable effects generated by a genuine magical wand, which, as an instrument through which magic is supposed to be channelled, sometimes holds residual power that it may discharge at odd moments. See also the notes on wandlore for "The Tale of the Three Brothers".

"Well that's done." Sirius said in just a bit of disappointment as he reluctantly handed over the last story to James.

"How come you don't do those voices all the time?" Harry couldn't help but ask with amusement. "I'd like to hear you try me, or Ron and Hermione."

Sirius eyed him critically for a moment, before clearing his throat dramatically, and instead used a high nasally voice, "sorry, best I can do is more Prongs."

James whacked him upside the head.

Sirius hardly blinked and kept going in a more normal tone, "and I've never actually heard your friends voices, but I can do some guesses-"

"That's alright," Remus waved his hands pleadingly for James to go on or they'd be here all day.

James still had to pause for a moment and get his laughter under control before he could.

#Harry Potter #fanfiction #reading the books #HP #The Life That Never Lived #Marauders #James Potter #Remus Lupin #Sirius Black #Lily Potter

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"It Was You!"

Monday 1st February 2021

Hello again everyone! Hope you've all had a brilliant weekend! Before we get into the subject of today's episode, I have some exciting news I have to share with you all. EastEnders announced over the weekend that there is to be a new character appearing on the Square! James Farrar has joined the cast of EastEnders to play the new role of Zack Hudson. What brings him to Walford remains to be seen, but the exciting news that EastEnders have shared is that there is going to be plenty of drama in store, but in typical soap style, there's always trouble waiting just round the corner. The character of Zack Hudson is to make his first appearance in March! Are you excited about the new addition to the cast/soap? I'm really excited to see what brings him to Albert Square and who of our loveable characters he'll come to be involved with! Exciting times for EastEnders that's for sure! Are you excited to see his arrival in Walford?!

Now following the episode, I'm going to start with focusing on Billy, Jay and Honey first. Billy is still struggling to come to terms with the fact that Jay and Honey are now involved romantically. I think it's fair to say that since Billy had a one night stand with Tina, it seems he has regretted it ever since. I think it's a bit like a Kat and Alfie situation, I do think Honey will always be Billy's true love. What do you guys think? He's bound to feel a little betrayed, but Jay more so than Honey I think as obviously he was the one who brought Jay up, to a certain extent, when his Dad passed away. But seeing him sulking, you just want to shake him and tell him to snap out of it! Poor Honey tries to keep the peace, explaining to him that she and Jay want to tell the children together when the time feels right. But when Billy states the fact that she is old enough to be Jay's Mum, Honey retaliates and delivers a brilliant comeback, also stating that she is in fact old enough to be Billy's daughter! Proving that simply age is just a number! Feeling a little sorry for himself, Billy eventually takes it upon himself to visit his cousin, Phil, to see if he can offer him a job. I sometimes feel that regardless of the predicament or situation Billy may be in, he always turns to his cousin for advice or for some help. In this case, it seems he no longer wants to work on his stall with Jay, so hopefully Phil can offer him a way out. But much to his disappointment, Phil reveals he has nothing for him, but doesn't hesitate to mention that he has nothing much going for him, after revealing to us that Billy is actually 60/61 years of age!! (I would never had guessed that! He looks nowhere near 60 in my opinion!) He also points out the very valid point that he and Honey haven't been married for a very long time, so why shouldn't she and Jay give it go? Jay deserves a bit of happiness just as much as Honey does! However, after his confrontation with Phil, Billy spends time with his children, Will and Janet in the Cafe. Only when they start mentioning that Jay was helping them with a game, Billy looks as if he can't hold it in any longer, and with no regard to Honey's wishes about informing the children when she's ready, out of spite, he informs the children himself. At first the children seem a little bit disheartened, as during their meal time Will lashes out at his Mother and Jay for keeping their relationship a secret, however I have to mention that I love how both Jay and Honey dealt with the children. Explaining it calmly that they shouldn't have kept it a secret and they shouldn't have found out the way they did, even Jay apologises to young Will and Janet. Honey is clearly deeply angered by Billy's actions, what is Honey going to do now?! Will she possibly stop him from seeing the kids, who knows? Could that be what leads Billy onto a downward spiral?

The second thing I want to mention is Gray and Whitney. After receiving a message from Gray, informing her that she can take the afternoon off from looking after the kids, something tells me that Whitney isn't feeling all that good about having her afternoon off. It's blatantly obvious that it's Gray's retaliating after she denied his advances. Something doesn't sit right with Whitney. Anyway, later on in the episode, Karen makes a visit to the Minute Mart, and the first thing I have mention about that is new look and refurbishment that shop has had! Personally, I think it looks really pretty, really modern! Of course I can't stand Suki, but I love it when soaps revamp well known businesses and properties, I think it makes it more realistic, interesting and of course keeping with the times. I hate to say it but I always hated the sharp green colour of the Minute Mart, of course it had been iconic and that way for years and years, but I feel it was outdated. I love the look of the new Minute Mart, what do you think?! Apart from it's new look, I have to say the new prices are extortionate! As Karen enters the shop and acknowledges the new style of the shop, she's shocked at the prices of the new stock Suki has ordered in store, £4.20 for nuggets, well specifically "Southern Fried Chicken Bites" - I felt this scene was a really enjoyable scene, very relatable! However, when Whitney enters the shop and notices Karen buying "Posh Nuggets" shall we call them, Karen reveals to her that Gray has asked her to look after the kids, making Whitney think even more that Gray is doing it just spite her! She decides to confront her employer, and of course he acts all sweet and innocent, claiming that something came up and he didn't want to mess her around. I fully believe he was just doing it to get back at her for rejecting him the previous day. I believe there is going to be a rumour however that perhaps Whitney and Kush are going to start having feelings towards each other? I'm unsure whether that's true, but I'm sure it's something that will not make Gray happy! What do you guys think?!

The third thing I'd like to mention is regarding Chelsea and Lucas. Over the past couple of episodes, we've been let to believe that Chelsea hasn't really forgiven her Father as we initially thought. Although her big secret hasn't been yet revealed, it's still clear to tell that she's up to something to get revenge on her Dad. From what I gather, it looks as if Chelsea is involved with some kind of group or gang who smuggle drugs, how she got involved with them remains unknown, however she has slowly been trying to worm her Father in on her dirty work. Lucas has been noticing his daughter's suspicious behaviour, but when she proposed the idea of going away to Ibiza for a while, just the two of them, Lucas knows that something isn't right. In this episode, Chelsea is voicing how excited she is to be going on holiday with her Dad after such a long a time, she mentions that he deserves it after everything he's been through. Interestingly, Lucas asks his daughter to accompany him to church before they make their departure, but he's make sure that his visit is strictly urgent and it simply cannot wait! Chelsea seems to reluctant to go, but eventually agree to keep her Father happy. Once they arrive, Lucas begins to pray, Chelsea on the other hand appears very bored, almost as if she doesn't want to be there. Suddenly, whilst her Father is mid-prayer, her mobile phone starts to ring aloud, even thought Chelsea is extremely apologetic, straight away you can see the annoyance on Lucas's face. It's clear he's feeling disappointed in his daughter for having mobile phone on and on loud whilst visiting the church. As Lucas continues to pray, Chelsea makes a comment for her Dad to pray for the exit row whilst their on the plane, but Lucas refuses to see the funny side of her comment. This is where the anger first appears in Lucas since his return, he turns to his daughter and questions whether she's trying to be funny. Then, without a warning, he grabs his daughter's arm with the firm grip and drags her towards the stand of the church, pretty much forcing her to pray alongside him. The look in Chelsea's eyes for a slight moment is fear, for a small moment, she feared her Father. Eventually after Lucas finishes his prayer, he apologises to his daughter for acting abruptly, but then he interestingly drops the bombshell that, regardless of his daughter buying flights to Ibiza, he's unable to go as the conditions to his license stops him from going abroad, plus he doesn't even have his passport as he had to hand it in to the police. This information appears to really crush Chelsea, but she eventually comes to understand and states that they don't need t go on a holiday, as long as their together, nothing else matters. Something tells me that Chelsea is more annoyed that her plan isn't going to work, maybe she's going to have to find another way to get revenge on her Dad? What do you guys think?!

Finally, we have to focus on Max and Sharon don't we?! During Ian's illness and attack, Max has managed to build up his suspicion on who could be behind his attack and why he was feeling so ill afterwards. He notices that from across the Square, Bobby is talking to the police. As he confronts the teenager, Bobby informs him that there is still no sign of Ian. It's almost as if he's completely vanished as there appears to be no activity on his mobile phone or his bank card. This seems to make Max even more suspicious to Ian's disappearance. Meanwhile, he notices Mick and Linda enjoying time with Ollie as they wonder through the gardens, as he approaches Linda she questions him whether he's close to finding out who really attacked Ian so they can clear Tina's name, interestingly Max informs her that he is working on it. Later on in the episode, Linda takes a visit to Sharon, as they discuss Ian's disappearance, Sharon claims that just because she's his wife, people are quick to assume that she knows more than she's letting on, but she promises her friend that she doesn't know any more than anyone else. Of course, Linda believes her friend, I mean, why wouldn't she? But then she drops the bombshell to her that Max is close to finding out the truth in the hope to clear Tina's name. This seems to catch Sharon's ears loud and clear, and later on she takes it upon herself to give Max a visit as she grabs the opportunity to deliver his vegetables for the restaurant. It's then that Max informs her that Ian went to the doctors and the he went with him for some tests before he disappeared, this seems to really shock Sharon. I think for a split second she thought he knew it was her who was behind his attack, however when she asks what his results showed, he can't seem to answer the question. I'm guessing as he simply doesn't know! But this seems to relax Sharon that maybe he doesn't know for sure, but when she questions him why he's so desperate to clear Tina's name, it becomes clear to her that he's simply only doing it for Linda. She toys with him, informing that no matter what he does to win Linda back, her heart will always belong to Mick. Much later, as everyone gathers in the Vic - Mick, Linda, Dotty, Vinny, Max - Kathy rushes in with a handful of "Missing" posters of Ian, desperate to hang them up to gain public attention and knowledge of her son's whereabouts. As she does so, even though Sharon tries to keep things civil, informing her that they all want to find Ian, Kathy once again is cold with Sharon claiming that she's simply after his money and the pub and doesn't care in the slightest of him being found or not! Everyone in the pub watches and listens to Kathy's outburst, Linda tries to defend her best mate, but then surprisingly Max speaks up "She wants him back! -" ... almost looking as if he's actually sticking up for her, Sharon thanks him for his kind words, but then what happens next shocks everyone to the core as Max continues to speak ... "Just so she can finish him off!" ... Everyone's faces drop at this allegation!! In front of everyone in the Vic, with Sharon stood behind the bar with a face of pure fear, Max finally confronts her, "It wasn't Tina who attacked Ian ... It was you!"

Ooooo I have to say what a brilliant cliff-hanger to end on! I'm really excited to see what's going to happen next, will people believe Max? Or will Sharon be able to convince the locals that he's lying? I'm really eager to find out how people are going to react. I do believe that people like Kathy and Dotty will believe Max's story, but this is where people may start to choose sides. Sharon or Max?! What do you think? Thank you all so much for reading, I apologise for it being such a late post! Thank you all for your on-going support, please feel free to leave a comment or a message, I'd love to hear your thoughts! Thanks again everyone and enjoy the rest of your evening. I'll be back very soon! Love you all xXx

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