me: -literally crying as i explain how roo was extra kind to me when i expected the bare minimum-

roo: miranda... thats the norm. you should expect guys to be gentlemen. men should be kind to women

me who has had so many things mentally damaged by men around me and thus have little expectations of others: um.... -sobbing- don’t think that is the normal thing for every guys alive

Another thing I'm going to complain about regarding queer spaces... white trans boys/men/mascs LOVE forcing their viewpoints and such on the rest of us. I'm SPECIFICALLY referring to them always complaining about how people shouldn't specify between cis and trans men when complaining about men or something because "then I don't feel like you see me as a REAL man 😢" bullshit.

Like... AGAIN, white people are the weakest and most dangerous links within queer groups because basically MOST POC actually hate this rebuttal & are the one ADVOCATING for us not to be lumped in with cis men because guess what... WE AREN'T CIS MEN!!! AND, THUS HAVE OUR OWN SPERATE ISSUES AND SUCH THAT SHOULD BE ADDRESSED AND NOT TO MENTION WE DONT HAVE SYSTEMIC POWER LIKE CIS MEN DO SO IT MAKES NO SENSE TO LUMP US IN WITH OUR OPPRESSORS!!!!!!

I don't care if being white makes you feel like you have the same privileges & experiences as a cis man and that you don't mind people lumping y'all in with cis men with no sort of nuance BUT that shit doesn't apply to me and MANY POC and is not just wrong but actively HARMFUL to us!

Again, I don't care if WHITE people want to say and claim shit for themselves and their experiences HOWEVER the problem is that they always, ALWAYS, make these statements broad and thus are making it a general issue for the ENTIRE trans masc/men community and not specifically a WHITE trans masc/men issue or opinion, they NEVER specify with "white." White trans people will always "forget" they are white though and that their experiences AREN'T a universal default and then like to paint us, POC, as transphobes for not agreeing with their shitty, binary thinking and opinions. It's just... annoying.

Also, this isn't limited to white trans men, white trans women are just as bad when it comes to trans women of color speaking up and honestly white queers and any other white people apart of some marginalized group (disabled for example) in general are just like this because that's what happens when you're white and don't actually interrogate that kind of privileged existence.

Actually, now thinking about it... in SOME instances I don't mind the idea of being lumped in with MOC (specifically) only because despite what a lot of white feminists want you to believe, men of color don't have systemic privileges over ANY white people and thus are also oppressed and similar to how people view trans men, we aren't automatically privileged for being men in our white allo, cis, hetero patriarchal supremacist society.

White people just... really refuse to get nuance and intersectionality. I think also a big part of it is that they just HATE the idea that they are the most privileged regardless of their other marginalized identities and in order to continue to lie to themselves about it have to make things about them, and white queerness because otherwise they would be forced to acknowledge that them being white still affords them so much more privilege over ANY POC. They just hate having to acknowledge they still have privilege though because their other marginalized identity/s keep them from having the full access to the privileges that being white, usually, entails.

On Alexander, Angelica and Eliza

Heres some long-ass personal interpretation based on the musical that nobody following this blog signed up for lol. Not gonna be touching on history coz i’m no expert and there’re ppl way more qualified for that. and it’s good to keep things separated.

there’re obviously many similarities between the two A’s. Both are witty, outspoken, center of attention, and a bit of a flirt. To me, the most interesting trait shared by both is their awareness: They know exactly where they stand socially, and subsequently, how to play by the rules to climb up. This clear awareness is where I got the idea for the staircase drawings. “i’m a girl in a world in which my only job is to marry rich/ my father has no sons so i’m the one who has to social climb for one” is a demonstration of Angelica’s awareness, just as “As a kid in the Caribbean I wished for a war/ I knew that I was poor/ I knew it was the only way to rise up” shows Alexander’s.

it’s different for Eliza - i know as the show proceeds, she gradually becomes more ambitious and active, but in Who Lives Who Dies Who Tells Your Story, what she asks, instead of how to rise up, is: “Have I done enough?” this quiet insistence is why i always see her as someone who does things because she thinks it’s a right thing to do, no matter whether that thing in question would benefit her personally or not. sure, she gives off "cinnamon roll" vibes, but girl’s no less strong or badass than Alexander or Angelica.

More under cut coz I’m incapable of being concise:

Angelica:

what always strikes me as interesting about Angelica is the contrast of what she says vs. what she does.

In The Schuyler Sisters, the majority of her lines are about empowering women, which, I think, is where the depiction of Angelica as an angry feminist comes from in some fanfics. But in Satisfied, we see she plays squarely by the rules of patriarchy and social classes (the three fundamental truths part). 

Similarly, in TSS, she says "so men say I'm intense or I'm insane", seemingly unbothered, if not lowkey proud, by these comments, but in Satisfied, she talks about the resulting gossip if she were to marry Alexander. 

I saw a post which expressed that Angelica thinks like Alexander but acts like Burr, and I agree. She has a sharp mind and is unafraid to speak out, like Alexander, but she’s also got things to lose, like Burr. Having family responsibilities means that she does not, and cannot, act without restrictions and hesitations like Hamilton. She doesn't necessarily wait it out like Burr, but she does think things thru, because the important decisions she makes carry enough weight to not only affect the future of herself but also of her family.

I had mentioned in an old post that Satisfied is basically Angelica assessing cost & gain for each of the options she has, for all the parties involved. even though that song's ending has mixed feelings and it's DEFINITELY a heartbreaking song, Angelica's choice did maximize the gain for everyone at the time: She was able to maintain her bond with Alexander and married rich to ensure her material comfort. Alexander was able to marry a Schuyler and elevate his status. Eliza got the boy she loved and was happily married. She even foresaw some possible challenges the newly wed Hamiltons were likely to face (“He’ll never be satisfied”).

She knows she lives in a world of patriarchy; she isn't happy with it, but she knows how to take advantage of the system as much as she can. She knows how to be the center of attention, be charming, and appeal to ppl. She knows what kind of husband is beneficial to have. She knows how to influence politics in her own way (take a break). Part of why I found Satisfied so sad is that her mind and her heart wish for two different things. Angelica is a realist, over everything else. She can be a feminist, but definitely not an angry one.

Alexander:

I talked a bit abt him in an older post on Maria - and a lot of what I said abt Maria applies to him. If the challenge Angelica was facing is invisible societal restrictions on women, what Alexander faces is purely regarding survival. Having needed to fight and compete for resources, I imagine he's at least somewhat influenced by the philosophy of social darwinism. I also said, in the same post, that I don't think he'd be really inclined to help ppl in the same difficulty he used to be in, for the same reason. If he could make it this far with his own hard work, how would it be fair to make things easier for others now? Would those ppl even deserve their success now the bar has been lowered? It's not exactly a right way of thinking, but it's also hard to blame him. after having to compete for resource w others in order to climb up, it’s hard to change the mentality.

I've seen a music analysis (by Howard Ho on YouTube) on Hurricane, and it concludes that when Hamilton was singing that song, he wasn't exactly recalling the past - he's been mentally living in that reality and never truly left. (There's similar remarks that Hamilton's past in the Caribbean had always plagued him despite his power and position in Chernow's biography, but we're only analyzing the musical here.) He never fully turned off his survival mode.

To clarify: by survival mode, I don't literally mean he fights to survive. He didn't exactly show a strong will to survive and was quite willing to give up his life for noble causes, up until he met Eliza. What I meant is, he remembers being destitute and helpless, he remembers seeing deaths of trivial importance, so he fights to be as far away from destitution and helplessness as possible, he fights to have the opportunity to die a glorious and noble death. Because to be able to die for something matters is still a privilege. No matter how high up he rose to position, his insecurity that he may end up losing those never faded away. This raw energy, I guess, is what gradually turned the others in the musical to be more like him.

Eliza:

Eliza seems to be the one who's the most content abt their situations out of the three. After all, one of her motifs in the musical is "look around at how lucky we are to be alive right now", and the other one is “that would be enough”. 

ppl usually say Helpless and Satisfied should be listened back to back (and nothing wrong with that), but comparing these two songs, Helpless doesn’t explore as much of Eliza’s character as Satisfied does Angelica. Throughout Helpless, she’s spent most of the song narrating what happened and falling head over heels for Alexander. As for her first appearance in TSS, she doesn’t have as much of a voice and show of character in comparison to Angelica, Burr, other Peggy either. 

The first moment we truly see her thoughts is in That Would Be Enough. It’s also in this song, her two other motifs (”that would be enough” and “narrative”) are introduced. Unlike Alexander and Angelica at that point of story, she’s happy with her life, wants it to remain that way, and doesn’t ask for more. 

i dont mean she’s not ambitious like the other two - she’s driven, but by other things. she doesn’t think of legacy, material comfort, status, position, etc. as important as Angelica and Alexander, as we can see in Burn. it’s not that she doesn’t know the rules - girl’s not playing the game at all. 

unlike the two A’s, Eliza’s growth happens in the second act. Angelica’s barely in the second act, and in the same act we see Alexander’s most trusted weapon, writing, contributing to his downfall. but for Eliza, she turns from the observer in Helpless, the supporter in That Would Be Enough, to the only one on stage in Burn, and to being the center of stage in Who Lives Who Dies Who Tells Your Story. in the second act we see her going thru the series of most crushing heartaches: Reynolds Pamphlet, death of Phillip, and death of Alexander, but we also see her strength. she’s a good person, but ppl usually forget that being nice takes energy and strength too. it takes strength to support, to forgive, to mourn the passing of your loved ones, and to preserve their memories and legacy. she shines and grows after overcoming the loss and heartbreaks. Angelica says in Satisfied “she’d say 'i’m fine' but she’d be lying”, i don’t think she’s giving Eliza enough credit for her mental strength there lol. 

side note: this is where i got idea for the eliza art from a few days ago - kintsugi represents the idea that your wound becomes your history and forms part of who you are, rather than something ugly to be ashamed of. I think it fits well with Eliza’s development.

Congrats! you’ve made it till the end! don’t know why u’d do that, but thanks! 

if u’re reading this feel free to send me a simple art request to compensate the time u took reading my bullshit

princess-nazario:

It's ok, thanks for clearing things up. See, everytime theres a post that might just be different the tumblr-fad! Version you speak or questions how tumblr might be romanticizing them theres always annoying people in the replies saying that theres a version where she wanders down the underworld herself, or that the version where shes kidnapped is...weak or a damsel in distress since it doesnt fit into tumblrs made idea of empowerment?? Its so annoying honestly. I saw this kind of stuff in a lot of posts while exploring the greek myth tag and its just... infuriating. I definitely should ignore them but it seriously makes me kind of sad and angry at the same time? The hades and persephone posts are everything(mostly tumblr-fad!) Version I reread your original post and yes I do agree, tumblr-fad! Persephone does take away a lot of the complexities and archetypes I read you examine. I think Hadestown might portray Hades and Persephone's power struggle well, it doesnt completely ignore the implications its giving off for the sake of some romance. This is what tumblr is doing and it's really annoying. By doing this and reducing the characters here to simple boxes it's taking away your interest in the myth, I think that's what you meant? I think your study of Hades/the underworld being Persephones self, cthonic meaning "spirit of nature within, inner self" while I dont fully understand that's really cool. I especially dislike how woobified and depowered he usually is in the tumblr-fad! Theres a lot you can work with him as the antagonist in a retelling I think. In fact maybe itd be great to have a retelling that explores the power struggle between Hades and Persephone and shows how Persephone gets through adversity and becomes of equal power through oppressive authority? Thatd be really cool. Tumblr-fad! Version is the twilight of myths but kind of the opposite. In twilight, the author itself romanticizes the creepiness and power struggle that might be there between Edward itself(although Bella does have a lot of agency so I think that's why it resonated so much with female readers?) while the Persephone has a various amount of versions, most versions being she was kidnapped/abduction with many meanings and metaphors and allegories to things, and tumblr-fad! Version ignores nuance in favor of their ships. Thanks for being so open and honest about this, I honestly was stressed because I thought my response maybe being immature or uninformed might be irritating or annoying. I haven't been sneaking through your blog or anything like that, I just saw your original post in the goddess demeter tag so I searched up "Persephone" on your stuff since I was curious with what else you might have to say about it. I wish Tumblr could maybe bother to learn something called not everything is entirely not THIS thing or the OTHER and maybe do something different from what Hades and Persephone coming to be known as the peak of all love stories on the website.

@princess-nazario I hope you don’t mind, I copy pasted your last reblog into a new post thread because the last one was getting massive.

I think I’m starting to understand what you’re getting at regarding the perception of victims as “weak,” and it makes a lot of sense. Thank you for clarifying regarding the “damsel in distress” trope because that’s when it clicked for me what you were talking about. I actually agree on that point, I think there is a tendency for pop feminism to kind of portray more vulnerable, sensitive or fragile women as less feminist, so I can see how you’re applying that to your views on how people on tumblr perceive the story of Hades and Persephone.

That said, I think you have a lot of different angles you’re looking at this whole thing from, and that’s great! However I think there’s so many subjects you are trying to tackle here that it seems like you are kind of are only half informed about, maybe from exploring discussions online. I think this is resulting in conclusions that are kind of confused and lacking in more solid foundations, if that makes sense. I think maybe you might benefit from exploring each element further on their own merits.

For example, did you know that there are a lot of different feminist viewpoints on Twilight itself? And not all feminists completely condemn it? In my opinion, there are a lot of things about Twilight to criticize, however there was a distinct element of hatred for the interests and desires of teenage girls involved with how people responded en masse to the Twilight phenomenon. I don’t think you were old enough to be directly familiar with all this at the time. I think a decent primer would be this video from Lindsay Ellis (tho please keep in mind that some of her most recent content is not for younger audiences). It doesn’t cover all angles of the topic, but it does give an alternative perspective in retrospect about the raging Twilight hate that swept through pop culture for a long time:

Also, there is a whole conversation to be had about the concept of “woobification,” and why that word exists, as well as how it is used in conversations about girls and women’s fantasies. The original post I made shows that I have my own frustrations when male villains and darker archetypes are whittled down to something seemingly non-threatening and “socially acceptable” myself (like...turning the beast into the prince in Disney’s Beauty and the Beast), but in my experience, people have often used the word “woobie” to describe any explorations of the vulnerability of these types of male characters when women do so because they find those men intriguing or attractive, and that can get kind of tricky because in many ways, those conversations can harbor a subtle resentment and shaming towards female fantasties, period.

I’m getting the impression that maybe there’s something about Hades and Persephone, or at least the archetypes they embody, that really intrigues you, but you’re not sure what you are supposed to think and feel about it from a feminist perspective. That’s ok, ultimately you’ll figure it out on your own. I can’t tell you what to think about the myths themselves on their own, separate from contemporary feminist media because that’s ultimately it’s own thing, and you can springboard your own perspectives and reimagining off of the original in any way that feels right to you.

 What I can do though, is leave you with some age-apropriate content that I was consuming at your age, as well as a link to a site that explores stories with similar archetypes that Persephone embodies. 

The site is called Girls Underground, and it explores and catalogues stories about girls who go on heroine’s journeys in the “Cthonic” context like I was talking about, as in exploring their own inner psyches through the experience of traversing a strange, scary, magical place. Sometimes these stories involve the trope of a spooky attractive male character who takes on an adversarial role that is sometimes also romantically charged, but not all of them do. I think the resources page may be of particular interest to you because it links to essays on subjects within this genre of storytelling. The Examples page has a ton of other stories not listed here that you can take a look at, however not all of them (but many of them!) are kid friendly.

Movies that I would recommend: 

Labyrinth (1986), which was my favorite film since early childhood, and is the reason I love these types of stories to begin with.

Legend(1985), which doesn’t depict a healthy dynamic, but is a great film and does have a big place in the general conversation about this type of storytelling.

Howl’s Moving Castle, either the book or the film. 

Pan’s Labyrinth is rated R for some gore and violence, and it has scary moments, but I think it’s fine for most teens. The character of Pan is not part of that whole “demon lover” trope because the heroine is a small child, but he takes on a similar role in terms of being a figure that embodies the underworld and thus a major part of the heroine’s psyche.

Honestly, I would consider Disney’s Beauty and the Beast (the original, not the live action remake) a good rendition. It was written by a woman.

Jean Cocteau’s black and white La Belle et La Bete.

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte, or a film adaptation of the same.

Rebecca by Daphne DuMarier, which is what my username is from. I’m fond of the Hitchcock film adaptation.

Honestly, the 2004 adaptation of Phantom of the Opera is...flawed, but it was my introduction to Phantom, and it’s a lot of melodramatic fun. 

It’s worth noting that in a lot of these stories, there are not perfect, healthy relationships depicted between men and women. There is cruelty, there is harm. But in many cases, that does not mean these stories have nothing to say about relationships between men and women, nor does it say that they are solely tales about abuse and we cannot find romanticism within them. Each story has it’s own flaws, it’s own strengths, hold deeper meanings beyond the surface. They contribute something distinct to a rich history of artistic explorations of the dynamics of power in romance and the female experience with our own desires within a patriarchal society.

The Gay Agenda - Chapter 3

Whooo Chapter 3! Its Chanhun week. 

Please keep in mind, sentences written in Italic is what is being said by the panel, or people in the studio. Normal text is what is happening otherwise.

As always, also available on my Ao3!

(if you want me to tag you every time i update, please dont hesitate to message me and I’ll add it in the next chapter)

Honestly, Sehun felt a little bit pathetic. He’s had this massive crush on Chanyeol for about 3 years now, ever since the older had almost knocked him over at the orientation fair in his first year at university. Chanyeol had been walking backwards, animatedly talking to his friends, when he had tripped over his own feet and promptly toppled into Sehun. Sehun was ready to yell, already being on edge from having to adjust to the new environment and not really knowing anyone yet, but when he turned to face Chanyeol, he was startled into silence.

Chanyeol had been an odd mix of jock, with his tall stature and defined (so, so well defined) biceps and an overgrown puppy, with his soft face, big dumbo ears and doe eyes. Sehun was immediately infatuated with the older.

His infatuation grew into a full-on crush when he saw Chanyeol perform for the first time in the university’s talent competition. He had sung with his velvety smooth voice, whilst expertly playing the guitar, and Sehun was convinced he was In LoveTM.

But that was 3 years ago. Since then, Sehun had pined from a distance, treasuring every single little interaction he had with the older. Chanyeol had remembered him and sent him small smiles or waves whenever they crossed paths on campus, but they never had a proper conversation.

Sehun told himself that he would finally get over it and gather the nerve to just go up to Chanyeol and strike up a conversation with him, but chickened out every single time

So, when he saw the flyer to the show, it was pretty much a “fuck it” decision. Maybe this would be the perfect opportunity for him to get over Chanyeol, maybe meet someone new and mayyyybe even win a bit of money, which, being a university student, couldn’t hurt. (He knew deep down though, that it would never be that easy to forget about Chanyeol.)

Sehun decided to work in the costume store during the show. One, he loved costumes and since it was close to Halloween, it would probably never boring. Two, he loved to judge people for their terrible costume choices.

He had met his manager, a dismissive, pudgy middle-aged man, who actually worked there, but, for some reason that was escaping Sehun, he agreed to let the show put someone in his store. The man really didn’t seem like he’d be someone who would put up with something like that and Sehun mentally noted to not piss the man off.

His co-workers were a lot nicer, a lot of them around his age, seeming to be students or high schoolers, working part time. He was glad that there were some nice people, considering he didn’t really know anything about the store and was glad that there would be someone to help. Overall, his job was pretty easy. Keep the racks and shelves looking clean, help customers find items when they needed help, and clean out the changing rooms, should someone leave items in it. Of course, Sehun was doing all of these things pretty half-heartedly, considering he was there for another reason.  

“So, our second contestant, let’s see who this is,” said Holland, ruffling through a file.

“Oh Sehun, 24, currently a dance student in his 3rd year. Applied to, I quote ‘get over this pathetic crush I’ve been harbouring for this dude at my uni for way too long’,” he read aloud.

“Well sounds like Sehun is using this opportunity as a crush-be-gone mechanism,” Heechul mentioned.

“Precisely.”

“Well guys, how do we think he’s going to do,” Holland prompted.

“Well, he chose a costume store, which can be quite good, since the atmosphere is very relaxed and there’s a good opportunity to have a laid back, funny conversation with someone, so I don’t think he will be lacking in that department,” said Taemin.

Key chimed in, “I wish we could know what this crush of his looks like, because I want to see if he is going to go for someone that’s similar to him, or completely different.”

“I just hope some actual person his age will be there in the store at some point, because so far I’ve only seen parents or children, and I really hope he doesn’t hit on either, because that would just be….creepy”

“Yah, Daehwi, have some respect for your elders, I think he knows what he’s doing!”, Heechul scolded.

“Well let’s fucking hope so.” Daehwi mumbled under his breath.

He was bored. There was only so many snotty teenagers that he could help find the most ridiculous costumes for, some of which he had no idea what they even were (what the fuck was “bongocat”??). He had severely overestimated how many hot, grown men would be visiting the store, which looking back, was a stupid thought to begin with. The only adults that he had seen in the store so far, other than the staff, were tired parents accompanying their overly excitable children. Which….should’ve really been the realistic expectation Sehun should’ve set for himself.

He ended up loitering around the back of the store, trying to hide from his manager and not doing any real work. He even sneakily tried on some of the costumes, debating on whether to keep one on around the store, but realized that the boredom was making him slightly delusional and his normal clothes, which he had very carefully picked out that morning, and made sure to not clash with his silver hair, were definitely the better choice,

All of a sudden, his co-worker, Joy, a bright, tall, beautiful (seriously, if Sehun had a single straight bone in his body, he’d be all over that) walked by hastily, hissing “hottie in aisle 3, all yours” in his direction.

Him and Joy had bonded quickly that morning, both for distaste in their manager and the fact that Joy was super excited to have another gay person with her in the store, if only for one day. They had spent their whole morning break getting to know each other, and even if Sehun failed on the show today, at least he would walk away with a new, totally awesome friend.

Sehun perked up at the news of the “hottie” and made his way to the aisle…where he promptly turned around and hid behind the shelf. Shit. In the aisle, right in-front of the full-body, skin-tight (fuck) costumes, was Chanyeol, of all fucking people.  

Chanyeol being here was already bad enough, but on top of that, he had apparently died his hair over the weekend because, instead of the soft, fluffy brown hair he usually had, his hair was bright red and styled off his face, which….. dear lord. It looked so fucking good. His outfit didn’t help either. He was wearing a dark jean jacket over a flannel and t-shirt, paired with tight skinny jeans.

Sehun willed his breathing to calm down and wracked his brain on what to do. Obviously, this was the perfect opportunity to talk to Chanyeol, but the rules of the show were to find someone that he didn’t already know.

He eventually decided to walk up to Chanyeol.

“Sir, can I help you with something?”

When Chanyeol turned around and his face indicated that he recognized Sehun, the latter quickly lowered his voice and whispered, “Just act like you don’t know me, I’ll explain later!”

Chanyeol looked confused for a second, before apparently deciding to play along (thank god), since he continued, “Hi, yes, I’m looking for a costume for this Halloween party I’m going to.”

“Certainly, Sir, do you have anything specific in mind?”

“I was thinking Deadpool.”

“Good choice, Sir. If you would follow me, that would be in our superhero aisle.”

Chanyeol trailed after him, immediately tugging on Sehun’s heartstrings, since he looked like a lost puppy.

“Is this something along the lines of what you were thinking?”, Sehun asked, holding up a body suit printed with the Deadpool costume. Chanyeol’s eyes lit up, and he started nodding cutely.

“Ok, great. What size would you like so I can find it for you?”

“Uhhhh, I’m not sure to be honest,” Chanyeol replied, sheepishly.

“Can I ask how tall you are? Then I can estimate what size would fit you from there.”

“Oh, sure. I’m 6’5.” (Sehun groaned inwardly. Fuck.)

“Ok, let me just check.” He started rifling through the costumes before letting out a small “aha” and holding up two suits.

“So, I picked up two options, since you don’t know your size. I suggest you just try them both on and see which one fits best.”

Chanyeol nodded once again.

“The changing rooms are right over there. Would you like me to accompany you to the changing rooms, in case you need anything else?” (Sehun knew that he was laying it on a little thick, and that the store’s customer service was never this good, but he could honestly not care less at this point.)

“Oh yeah sure, Se-Sir.” Sehun grimaced at Chanyeol slipping up and almost calling him his name, but also felt a slight blush spreading on his cheeks at the cheeky grin Chanyeol sent his way.

Sehun made his way towards the changing rooms, held the curtain back on one of the stalls and handed Chanyeol the costumes while he entered.

“I’ll be waiting right over there,” Sehun pointed towards a counter basically across from Chanyeol’s booth, “so give me a shout if you need anything. “

Chanyeol gave the Ok and closed the curtain. Well, closed was an overstatement. Although he did pull the curtain across the rail, he didn’t pull it all the way and Sehun was still able to see his back through the slit. He had a small internal battle, debating whether he should let Chanyeol know, but ultimately decide to just not look….which proved very difficult about 0.2 seconds later when Chanyeol took his shirt off and Sehun had the exquisite view of his muscly back. Fuck, that man was well built. Sehun really, honestly, tried to tear away his gaze and stop ogling, but he couldn’t. I mean, let’s be honest, how could he? Here he was, with the perfect view of his shirtless crush of almost 4 year in from of him, and he was supposed to look away? Seems unrealistic.  

Apparently, Sehun had kind of zoned out for a moment, because all of a sudden, Chanyeol turned around to walk out with his costume on and Sehun was definitely caught staring. Immediately, he felt his face go bright red and he tried to clear his throat awkwardly.

Luckily Chanyeol only smirked at him, which didn’t really make the situation much better for Sehun, but at least he wasn’t mad or disgusted.

Sehun tried to slip into his professional store clerk persona again.

“How does it fit, Sir? Everything all right?”

“I don’t know, what do you think?”

Sehun had to really pull himself together to not blurt out anything embarrassing about how he wanted to climb Chanyeol like a tree right then and there, and how the tight costume make his arms look delicious, and many other, NSFW thoughts.  He eventually settled on, “Looks good to me.” Good one, Sehun.  

“Mhh, I don’t know, it seems a little loose in some areas. This is the bigger one, I’ll go try on the smaller one just to see.”

Sehun was honestly in pain. How was he supposed to survive seeing Chanyeol in an even tighter costume than the one he had already been wearing. The man was really just here to torture him. Sehun hoped the floor would open up to swallow him and just take him directly to hell, since that would be more merciful, but without avail.  

Sehun didn’t notice Chanyeol re-emerge out of the changing room due to his breakdown until he heard a throat being cleared and his head snapped up. He promptly choked on his own spit and was coughing up half a lung with tears streaming down his face, mortified at the fact that Chanyeol came rushing over to clap him on the back with a worried look on his face.

“Oh my god, are you ok? What happened?”

“No-nothing…. I just…uh… inhaled wrong…” Way to go Sehun, solid excuse.

He batted away Chanyeol’s hands, insisting he was fine. Chanyeol slowly moved back, but still adorned the worried look on his face.

“If you say so…”

“Ok, ok, I’m good now, sorry for that. How does this one fit, better than the other one?”

“Yeah a lot better, thank you,” Chanyeol turned to him once again, smiling his megawatt smile that made Sehun feel all warm inside.

Suddenly, it dawned on him. Being around Chanyeol had made him totally forget the point of the show. He was SUPPOSED to find someone to flirt with. Sure, it was risky, since he didn’t know if Chanyeol was going to respond in a good way, and he really didn’t want to ruin whatever small tiny good thing they had going, but then again, if it didn’t go well, he could always explain later and lie, saying it was all for the show.

“Well, if I may say so, it definitely extenuates all the right elements of your body,” he tried to say without feeling incredibly awkward about it. Now it was Chanyeol’s turn to turn beet red. He awkwardly laughed and looked extremely flustered.

Sehun thought fuck it and decided to just go for all in. Might as fucking well.

He walked over to Chanyeol, who was standing in front of a full body mirror just outside the changing rooms. He stood behind him, making eye contact with Chanyeol through the mirror. Slowly he started running his hands up and down Chanyeol’s (realllly well defined) arms.  

“Yeah, it makes your arms look really nice,” he whispered directly into Chanyeol’s ear in a sultry tone. Luckily, even though he still looked flustered, Chanyeol didn’t seem to pull away or look weirded out.

“Ohhhhhh, my boy is finally stepping it up!”, Heechul screeched, “I was getting a little worried about him there. Hot muscly dork, I like his taste”.

“He definitely chose well, I approve,” Key agreed.

Sehun slowly started to relax and become more confident, and he was very much enjoying that he was able to make Chanyeol look so flustered. It was cute. 

He stayed close to Chanyeol for another few seconds, making sure that Chanyeol definitely saw him rake his eyes down his entire body while biting his lip and keeping his mouth near his neck, so that he could feel the hot breath on his skin.

Sehun felt validated when he felt the small shiver run down Chanyeol’s body and his cheeks become even more dusty pink.

Eventually he stepped back. Chanyeol turned around to stare at him, eyes blown and mouth hanging slightly open.

Sehun ran his finger down the front of Chanyeol’s costume, across his chest.

“How about you get out of that costume, and I’ll treat you to a drink?”, Sehun asked.

“Uh…sure… what about your job?”

“Oh, they’ll understand that I can’t let this opportunity pass me by, don’t worry your pretty little head.”

He heard Chanyeol mumble a startled “pretty?” under his breath and luckily managed to suppress the little chuckle bubbling up.

“Wait, opportunity? What opportunity?”

Sehun invaded his space once again, placing his hands on each of Chanyeol’s shoulders and standing up on his tip toes, so he was able to whisper right into Chanyeol’s ear.

“To go on a date with the hottest guy I’ve ever seen and have had a crush on for like 3 years now.”

When he stepped back again, Chanyeol was once again staring at him with his mouth hanging open.

“Wait, you’ve had a cru-“, Sehun panicked and quickly put his hand over Chanyeol’s mouth to stop him from exposing the fact that they knew each other. Chanyeol squeaked in surprise.

Sehun got close again and hissed at him, “Shhh, don’t say that out loud! Let’s just get out of here and I’ll tell you why, I promise.”

Sehun looked into Chanyeol’s eyes, to make sure he understood. Chanyeol nodded and promptly licked Sehun’s hand, which made him pull back in disgust. Chanyeol chuckled and smirked at him again, which threw Sehun for a loop. He wasn’t ready for confident Chanyeol to be back, he didn’t know how to deal with that.

He breathed a breath he didn’t realized he’d been holding in when Chanyeol got back into the changing room, fortunately (unfortunately? Who knew) actually pulling the curtain completely closed this time.

Sehun slumped over the counter he was standing near, mumbling a quick, “what the fuck am I doing?” under his breath.

He startled back upright when he heard the curtain pull back and awkwardly tried to make it look like he was casually leaning against the counter, which apparently didn’t work, considering the laugh Chanyeol let out when he saw him.

“Ok, but before we go, I do actually still want to buy this.”

“Ah yes, well that’s great, let me ring them up for you.”

Sehun walked to the till and rang up the costume for Chanyeol. He startled when he realized how much the costume was. Holy shit, he didn’t know it would be that expensive.

“Uh yes, that’ll be 300$.” Quieter, he said, “holy shit, are you sure you can afford that?”

In lieu of answering, Chanyeol simply smirked, whipped out his wallet and took out a black credit card. Holy shit.  

Sehun looked from the card to Chanyeol’s face, with wide eyes and his mouth hanging open. Ok, wow, he hadn’t known that Chanyeol was apparently filthy rich. Maybe he’ll even get a sugar daddy out of this whole experience. What a day.

He packed up the costume in a paper bag while Chanyeol was paying and set it on the counter. He then quickly looked for Joy, who was near the front of the store and definitely trying to look like she wasn’t eavesdropping, even though she definitely was. Sehun caught her eye and rolled his. She at least had the decency to look just a little bit embarrassed at being caught.

He waited for Chanyeol to pack away his wallet again, and then made his way to the entrance with him.

“Hey Joy, I’m gonna go take my break I’ll be back…at some point”, he yelled in her direction while trying to get past her as quick as possible, fearing she would say something embarrassing.

He really hoped that Chanyeol didn’t hear her “Yeah, my man! Go get some!!” as they were leaving the store. He threw up a middle finger over his shoulder for good measure.

As soon as they stepped out of the store, he pulled Chanyeol into a small hallway away from the main store pathway. He rummaged around the back of his shirt until he found the mic pack and switched it off.

He looked up to see a slightly bewildered look on Chanyeol’s face.

“Wait, why the fuck are you mic-ed? Oh my God, is this an undercover mission? Are you working with the police? Wait, what did I do? I’m not a criminal!”

Sehun was silent for a second, before he burst out laughing as Chanyeol became more and more panicked. He couldn’t stop and every time he looked at Chanyeol’s confused face he had to laugh more. Eventually, after about 5 minutes he managed to catch himself.

“No, dummy, I’m on a TV show! Oh my God, you really thought I was an undercover cop? This is gold,” Sehun explained through his laughs and while whipping his tears away. “it’s an undercover kind of TV show, that’s why the mic was hidden.”

“Well excuse me for assuming, what else was I supposed to think?”

“Are you a criminal?”

“No, of course not, what the fuck Sehun?”

“Well then why on earth would you assume that I was a cop??”

“What the hell was I supposed to think? You tell me to act like you don’t know me and then you pull me into some sketchy hallway and then you pull out a fucking secret wire? Like literally what other conclusion was I supposed to arrive at??? What TV show is this for anyways?”

Now it was Sehun’s turn to look embarrassed, “It doesn’t really matter.”

Chanyeol immediately had an evil grin on his face. “Well now I definitely want to know”

“It’s really not that important lets just g-“

“I’m not going anywhere until you tell me”

Sehun looked to see if he could get away, but apparently Chanyeol had foreseen what he was trying to do and stood between Sehun and the way back to the main part of the shopping centre. There was no way Sehun would be able to get passed Chanyeol, considering he was taller and definitely stronger than him.

Sehun slumped his shoulders and looked the floor.

“Fine,” he mumbled. “It’s called ‘The Gay Agenda’.”

“The what?”

“The Gay Agenda,” Sehun repeated, possibly even quieter than before.

“I really need you to speak up.”

Sehun finally accepted his fate.

“Fine, ok? Its called ‘The Gay Agenda’ and I was supposed to find some guy and seduce him, but then you walked in and I get if you’re not into it and I’m sorry and if you never want to talk to me again I totally unders-“

His heated rant was suddenly cut off by him being pushed against the wall and warm lips being pressed to his own.

His eyes went wide, and he was frozen in shock for a second before he realized holy shit, Chanyeol was kissing him. This was actually happening. He quickly relaxed into the kiss, closed his eyes and reciprocated.

He didn’t know for how long they ended up kissing. At some point his arms snaked around Chanyeol’s neck as Chanyeol pulled him closer by his waist. He licked across Chanyeol’s bottom lip, asking for entry and when their tongues met, it was like he was dunked into a hot tub. His entire body felt warm and like this was the best thing he had ever done in his entire life. He couldn’t help but moan into the kiss.

Chanyeol eventually pulled back and put his forehead against Sehun’s. They were both breathing hard, but neither let go.

“So, uh, I take it you didn’t mind?” Sehun asked awkwardly, breaking the silence.

Chanyeol let out a laugh, stroking his lower back, his arms still around Sehun’s middle.

“No, you idiot, I’ve liked you for like 3 years, this is like a dream come true for me.”

“3 years?” Sehun was shocked.

“Yeah, ever since I bumped into you at that fair. I’d always hoped that you would come up and talk to me when we saw each other on campus, because I sure as hell wasn’t going to do it. I’m so fucking awkward.”

“SERIOUSLY? I’d always hoped that you would come talk to me!! I never did because I thought you didn’t like me and were just too nice to not say hi when you saw me!”

Chanyeol chuckled, pecking Sehun on the lips again.

“We’re both idiots, I guess.”

Sehun couldn’t help but agree. He pulled Chanyeol into another kiss, still not believing that this was actually happening. He could do this forever.

“So, what about that drink you said you’d buy me?” Chanyeol eventually asked, when both their lips were swollen and red, and they couldn’t continue because they were getting dangerously close to “not public appropriate” territory.

Sehun was still kind of disoriented and out of breath. “What?”

“Well you said earlier that you would buy me a drink, so I want that drink now. I guess you could say that I’m thirsty.” Sehun smacked him in the chest lightly at the terrible pun and wink, but still slid his hand into Chanyeol’s and made his way back to the stores.

He couldn’t believe that he had started the day, determined to get over Chanyeol and ended up, hand in hand with him, after probably the best make-out session he had had in his entire life. He couldn’t believe his luck.

“You know, I really enjoyed it when you called me Sir earlier.” “Oh my God, we’re not even together yet and I’m breaking up with you.”

Pt. 2

17 Things I Dream Id Determined Prior to I Got My Nose Pierced

New piercings should often be cleaned two to 3 occasions per day. Your piercer can give you a extra particular recommendation. If you don’t have these extra critical signs, read on for five tips about tips on how to resolve a nose piercing bump.

As we move on the types of nostril piercings, turn into much less and less usual, and this is once we get to the bridge piercing itself. Circular barbells are extremely popular in phrases of septum piercings since they're simple to put in no to mention that they're easy to hide without being taken out. For example, in case you are headed to a formal, even all you have to do is to turn your barbell the wrong method up, and nobody will even notice that there's a piercing in your nostril. Most facial piercings are often a stainless-steel barbell, which can work properly in most cases, but isn’t the norm for a lot of nose piercings. [newline]Of course you do at all times have this option if you want – it’s actually up to you what jewelry you want to put in your nostril.

There are plenty of things to suppose about when deciding which facet of your nose to pierce, but in the lengthy run, all of it comes down to personal preference. Finally, should you really can’t make up your mind, you can at all times leave it to probability. Flip a coin, make a good friend select for you, or just ask your piercer to shock you.

What can you not eat after a nose piercing?

Pro: Sometimes the snot gets lodged behind your piercing. This is great because then it doesn't drip down your face without your permission. And sometimes it gets stuck to both your piercing and your nostril and when you try to get it off or readjust your piercing it hurts. And no, it doesn't hurt to sneeze.

If you're constantly rubbing or touching the piercing it'll trigger problems like forming piercing bump on your piercing. Every nose is different, and not everyone has a columella. In that case, the piercer will have to undergo cartilage. "Don't contact it! I know, it is really onerous to not obsess over the new factor right in your line of vision however if you contact it it will not be pretty for lengthy." Murphy-Rose agrees.

Origin Of Nose Piercings

The boy learns to hunt larger animals that requires a tactful talent set that was not wanted for smaller recreation. After a while, the boy's nasal septum was pierced and inserted with a bone by his father or grandfather to flatten his nose according to aesthetics. Historically within the Indian Subcontinent, nostril piercings are done by girls only. However the unfold of this fashion has resulted in each men and women having nostril piercings in the wider world. For some cultures, this apply is just for decoration, while for others it's for non secular practices.

How can I make my nose piercing heal faster?

Tattooing and Body Piercing of a Minor - It is unlawful for anyone to tattoo or pierce a minor under age 18 without the consent of the minor's parent or legal custodian, who must accompany them to the procedure.

As an indication of self-expression, she in all probability got her nose pierced too and adorned it with a tiny nose pin. However, it was not lengthy after she gave it up as she stepped into motherhood. The Kardashian and Jenner sisters are in style for his or her style statements and are an enormous hit on the earth of Instagram and Facebook. It was everywhere in the information when Kendall Jenner obtained herself a huge nostril piercing during the Coachella season.

Dont Swim Till It Heals

If you overlook to do your aftercare for a couple of days, that’s ok! An expert piercer should be contacted for septril piercing since this type of nostril piercing is very delicate. In addition to that, the procedure of septril piercing can also be fairly painful, and it can take a long time to heal.

Consider placing two piercings directly subsequent to 1 one other on the identical nostril.

Septril piercings are some of the complex and tough nose piercings.

Always use a model new clear cotton swab when cleaning the within of your nostril, so you do not find yourself spreading germs from one place to another.

Vertical tip is a piercing from the cartilage operating between the nostrils and the nose tip.

By the 1500s, they began to use nose rings and piercings too.

You can even get one within the L-bend form which can be customizable for any nostril form.

I think my second nostril piercing is definitely my favourite yet and it adds a extra interesting dimension to my septum ring. The factor is that bridge piercing is the one on the top of your nostril proper between the eyes. It is true that not all the folks might be daring enough to go for it. Those who take the prospect need to know that there are some dangers of getting it particularly from the unprofessional supply.

Health Subjects

Repeat 2-3 occasions per day, or as instructed by your piercer. Let the mixture cool to a snug temperature, after which apply it to your piercing with a sequence of unpolluted cotton balls. Make certain you soak the inside and outside of the pierced area. If desired for its moisturizing and/or antiseptic qualities, add 2-3 drops of tea tree oil to your SSS.

Septril piercing pain is dependent upon the position and construction of the individual septal cartilage and bone structure. Captioning a photograph of her new nose piercing on Twitter, Teigen detailed what occurred after the piercing artist accomplished the duty. "So I did this right now and it immediately fell out and healed the second she left because she did it mistaken lmao," she tweeted.

The Sundial Brewery was different after Cassis left, but not half so much as it was after Shiraz had descended to take his place. While Cassis had been a jolly crooner that brightened the mood, Shiraz was an idol that could bring out a frenetic, edgy energy in the patrons of the Brewery. Both of them were natural born entertainers, but it was very obvious why Shiraz occasionally did concerts at Bramble Step while Cassis had been content to play soulful yet light-hearted music by the riverbend.

Carnelian and Arcanus sat with their backs to the bar, sipping thougtfully in the company of the equally bemused owners. Cloudwhyte and Alchemilla weren't used to this sort of energy. As far as they were concerned, they ran a quiet bar that happened to keep musicians on hand for mood music, but the vibe had suddenly become that of a concert hall. Shiraz was strutting and stomping and wailing all up and down a range that was bafflingly powerful at every note. Even considering he was a nocturne didn't make it less astonishing. Shiraz had taken his natural talent for mimicry and made something amazing out of it. The crowd around him seemed to lean back every time he released more of his voice, literally being blown away by it, and with every pause for breath they rushed back in for more.

And though Shiraz' performance was technically a Trickmurk event (for those who didn't have the fortitude for the kind of celebrations Bramble Step was having), right at the front was Stellaria, flushed, bright-eyed and dazzled in a way she usually only was after she'd gotten in a fight. Verbena and young Rebis were bouncing along to the music beside her on one side while on the other Xandina was showing a surprising lack of bodily coordination for a hunter. Eos had come with them, despite being totally out of their element. Shiraz' style was too much for their already high-strung and nervous baseline state and rather than join the thrashing crowd, they'd opted for a single glass of wine that had overpowered them in a very different way.

Carnelian leaned back and shouted over his shoulder to the owners. "Where's Merlot?"

"She's taken Cassis leaving pretty hard," Cloudwhyte answered with a shrug. "New partners are hard for skydancers. If she doesn't like what she feels from Shiraz or the energy he generates when they work together, she won't sing with him."

Carnelian glanced thoughtfully at Shiraz, and a moth-eaten memory of a very different musician arose. "How'd she get on with Rime?"

"Rime had nothing on Shiraz," Alchemilla balked. "Rime was a mad scientist hiding in a musician's body!"

"Doesn't answer my question."

"What? Oh, I dunno, they got on okay, I guess? Rime was a screamer and Merlot's voice sounds the way top shelf brandy tastes so it's not like they ever sang together."

Carnelian hummed into his glass and nudged Arcanus. "You'll bore a hole through her if you keep staring."

Arcanus ignored the jibe and kept his eyes on his niece. "I understand the two of you had a talk."

Carnelian pressed his lips together, and patiently reasoned to himself that Arcanus hadn't asked about Atsushi at all and that was behavior that should be rewarded. "We did. Ironed some things out."

"I gather. She looks happy." He smiled faintly. "You know Ashes is jealous."

"Of what?!" Carnelian snorted. "I'm not her dad!"

"When did I mention anything about her being your daughter?" Arcanus asked innocently, just barely hiding a smirk. "She knows who and where her dad is--it's not a hole that needs filling." He dipped his head over toward the snugly sleeping figure of Eos. "But she's been very fond you since the event with the pearlcatcher scroll."

"Fuck off, that girl doesn't love anybody as much as she loves her Uncle Arcanus."

"She relies on you," Arcanus pressed smoothly. "And that's something that Ashes can't say. He's great for an inquiry about magic, but no honest person would call him reliable."

Carnelian stared at his friend with a curled lip and a tight fist. He couldn't get a rise out of him tonight and it was starting to piss him off. Even though he smiled and talked and phrased his words in just the right way to pick at Carnelian's nerves, Arcanus was poorly concealing an unusual anxiety.

"You're killing my mood," he accused. "What's wrong with you?"

"I'm not sure."

Carnelian drained the rest of his drink with a mutter curse before dragging Arcanus out of the bar onto the open streets of Noon Point. The crowds of celebrating shadow dragons were dying down for the day, migrating to Bramble Step where they could cut loose and cut throat if it came to that. The queen was likely around somewhere with Bestialcian in tow, but Trickmurk was the one elemental holiday she didn't offer any kind of official celebratory address. They didn't hatch shadow eggs either--the last one had been Ilkilides and that had been more than enough to let them know that Aphaster was on poor terms with the Binder. 

To keep out of the way of the milling crowd, Carnelian pulled them into the mouth of an alley where they could speak in private. "Did something happen between you and...?" 

"No."

Carnelian squinted at the way Arcanus very noticeably didn't turn red. "Holy shit, did you actually get over her--ah, wait, no, there it is, you're blushing. False alarm."

"There are other things I concern myself with!" Arcanus insisted with what remaining dignity he had.

Carnelian shrugged and pulled a cigarette from his pocket. "To me they don't exist until you tell me what they are."

Arcanus crossed his arms. "I don't know yet. I would express it to you if I could, Carnelian, as my confidante."

"Easy on the flattery,” he mumbled over the cigarette. “So you just got a bad feeling?"

"An uneasiness, yes. An agitation I cant soothe with will or distraction."

"Spring is coming." He held his hands up peaceably to fend off the weary glare Arcanus shot him. "I'm not joking. Spring gets weird when you care about someone."

Something about the way he said it left Arcanus faintly wondering when Ismene was born. He had never asked. He probably never would. "I don't think that's it," he murmured. "Lately everything seems..." His brow creased with the strain of finding the right word, but to no avail. "I'm unsure. All I know is that I feel relief seeing that both you and my family are settled."

"Okay, whats your best guess why that might be?"

Arcanus looked around while he thought, which was in itself a tell. Sure, he'd loosened up a lot since they became close, but he was still a knight. His day job was to be a menacing presence at the queen’s back while showing little to no sign of personal emotion about the politics.

Carnelian wondered, not for the first time, if Arcanus' emotional trouble wasn't just a side effect of boredom. The Isles were unpredictable, you could lose a charge permanently during a simple walk in the woods or forget entirely that you had one because of a bad storm near the Liminal Band. He probably never had the time to have a bad feeling over something that didn't make itself known within the next few hours.

"I dont want to say it," the guardian finally admitted. "I don’t want to speak it."

Carnelian bobbed his head. "Something that bad you don’t want to give the universe ideas? I get that."

"You should remember that the universe will get ideas whether you speak them or not."

Carnelian leaned out with a snarl on his lips and a curse on his tongue, and both fizzled when he saw the distinctive match of a water emblem over Arcane eyes. Kiele was perhaps the rarest seen of all the witches of the Starwood coven. Being water-touched and a choosing to live as a witch had left her in a similar position to Tungsten, but while Tungsten had to use carefully applied ice magic, Kiele had Faded. She could never know when a vision might suddenly strike, but she had eons worth of Faded's magic laced as delicate as frost over her mind. Neither of them had known much about her to begin with, but like all young dragons who became witches, she wasn't the same dragon she had been before. It was hard to miss the family resemblance she shared with Kea, but that was about all they had in common.

"I'm pretty sure eavesdropping during Trickmurk is considered sacrilege," Carnelian muttered, leaning back into the shadows.

"...I'm clairvoyant," she deadpanned. "I don't think I was ever gonna win any points with shadowlings." She tossed her chin at Arcanus. "Besides, the knight's right."

"Is he now." The flicker of a match momentarily lit Carnelian's dour expression. "Some more business with the spirits?"

"There is plenty on this plane to make a keen man wary. The boy agrees with me."

Carnelian and Arcanus both exchanged a look of confusion, and leaned out together to find Apokathisto idling in one of the charming little nooks in the cafe’s facade with a half-demolished slice of aggressively violet black woods cake. He had the look of someone who was deeply embarrassed but was trying to pretend otherwise--which, combined with the smear of blackberry preserves on his chin, only made him look more guilty.

"How long have you been there?"

"I-I'm sorry," he stammered. "I was just trying to eat my cake..."

"How long. Have you been there."

"...The whole time."

Both men glared accusingly at each other in a furious but silent exchange. Carnelian was a detective, he stalked people all the time, he should have noticed a gawky adolescent  hanging around; and Arcanus was supposed to be aware of his surroundings, he was the queen's knight after all. But it was a holiday and they were both a little drunk, so they made peace with a sigh.

"I thought it was odd to not see you around with Rebis here," Arcanus admitted. "Why aren't you in there with them?"

Apokathisto wilted and pushed sullenly at his cake. "There's no boys my age and I don't like the music."

It was hard not to sympathize with an answer like that. Even when they lived in the Isles, the clan had always had an unusually high number of female hatchlings, and that hadn't changed. Phage, Foster, Katiyana, and Lamium were the closest Apokathisto had to same-sex peers and they were, in order, a terrible influence, infamously shy, disinterested in dragons that weren't Zo or his relatives, and friendly but troubled. It shed a very lonely light on the situation.

Arcanus cleared his throat as subtly as he could, and Carnelian took the hint with a raised brow but nothing else. There was a short shriek as he threw Kiele under his arm and stalked off with her as though she were a just an unruly bag of potatoes, but it was quickly muffled by Shiraz' performance and the natural noise of the thoroughfare.

Not long ago, Apokathisto would have held Arcanus' hand as they walked, but he was getting to be that age where he felt such a thing was childish. It was often forgotten but Arcanus had been the caretaker and protector of dozens of hatchlings and watched over several into their adulthood. The behaviors of fledglings were no mystery to him, and the basic ability to respect their turbulent, often contradictory feelings made him very popular among adolescents. It was just rare anyone got to see it. But sure enough, as soon as they had passed beyond Noon Point and were alone on the walkways through the Summerlands, Apokathisto began walking a lot closer to him.

"You've been uneasy too?" the boy asked.

"I have," Arcanus answered honestly. "But I'm old and I've seen a lot and I have to wrestle with that myself. Children shouldn't be so troubled. What's wrong?"

Apokathisto grabbed a dried out stalk and snapped pieces from it as they walked. "I don't want to speak it."

"Has anyone harmed you?"

Snap. "No."

"Has anyone made you feel threatened?"

Snap. "No."

"Do you feel that you're in danger in any way?"

Snap.

Snap.

Snap. "I don't know."

"Is there anything I can do?"

Apokathisto threw the last of the stalk away. "I don’t know."

Arcanus stopped them both, and knelt to look into Apokathisto's eyes. The boy always wore difficult expressions, but he usually wore them openly--now he seemed evasive, as if he didn't want it to show that something weighed on him. "I won't press you. But if you think of anything I can do, I hope you'll tell me."

At that, the boy did meet his eyes. They were striking as always--with their blue-white streaks like shooting stars, and the intensity of them was enough to catch even Arcanus off guard. There was anger in him; confusion and fear. "Is something going to happen to me?"

"Something like what?"

"I don't know...!" he cried pitifully.

The boy's face was going red. Again, Arcanus felt a poignant sympathy for the boy. If he was dealing with the same worrying unease that Arcanus was, it wasn't a wonder he was so upset. He was already so wary by nature, and he didn't seem to have anyone to confide in. He was frustrated and frightened, and in that moment Arcanus knew what it felt like to be Hart--to want nothing more than to be at Apokathisto's side and reassure him that he was safe. But to promise that would have been to lie in the boy's face in his moment of vulnerability.

"You know that my charge must come first," he said apologetically. "I cannot vow to protect you from all things at all times. But I can swear to you that I would never ignore it if I so much as suspected anything was going to happen to you."

It wasn't the most reassuring answer, but it was the truth. For a boy like Apokathisto, that was far more important. Though he wasn't crying, Arcanus turned his back and let the boy have a moment to collect himself and rebuild his idea of a mature demeanor before they continued along the quiet footpath.

At some point, Apokathisto quietly took Arcanus' hand and didn't let go.

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So this is going to be a Back Cat I Actually Dont Need To Control My Anger Everyone Around Me Needs To Control Their Habit Of Pissing Me Off bit long but bear with me I had what I believe to be a pointless and incredibly frustrating experience with the assistant manager jamie at your auburn hills great lakes crossing location today I have been coming here for three years I frequent your orlando san marcos and new jersey locations as well at least once a year when we stop we usually spend 5 to 10 thousand dollars on your products the system is simple I go in park in a corner and bring bins to my corner sort them bag them move them to the front register and repeat today I brought a personal duffel bag as it holds about 8 to 12 of your bags worth of stuff I get told that i’m not allowed to use it because it’s policy not a big deal at all I say okay i’ll do that for the rest rather than rebag all of this i’ll just go up in line and pay for it and it can sit behind the counter seems pretty reasonable to me nope I got obstructed suggested that I might be stealing something and not allowed to pass stating if I don’t want to follow the system I can leave he then takes my entire duffel dumps it onto the floor and then rebags it into victoria secret bags then moves it to the front counter so it can be rang in I thought this was a little odd but hey he was doing all the work rebagging it so whatever i’m like dude i’m going to be spending about 8k today all I want to do is come in spend some money get out without any drama what’s the problem whoevers in charge should be thrilled with a sale like this we’re spending 8k keep in mind that I told him that I would do what he wanted and it wasnt’ a big deal and the response was to the effect of stop being lippy and just listen I told him what do you want from me I just agreed with you and said I would use your bags i’m not being lippy at all I know this because I said okay dude not a problem i’ll use your bags his response was maybe if you get to buy it i’m like what are you suggesting that an 8 000 order is something you guys don’t want he’s like yeah if you buy it i’m like dude we are spending 8k today why would I bag up a bunch of stuff and spend 2 3 hours picking our your fabulous product to not buy it anyway so I had 4 credit cards one card had 2 000 one had 3500 one had 2000 and one had 1000 because I am buying for multiple people I had 4 different cards all in my name I wanted one receipt for each card not a big deal to me right wrong again he cited some policy and said if the order is more than 750 items that they aren’t allowed to ring in under 750 items on any one receipt id like to point out that that amount is higher than your employees said they could take as a cash payment I asked him to please show me that I would understand better if I could just read it he was willing to do so he brought out the policy book and to my surprise what it actually said was words to the afffect of cash payments cannot be split up or over 750 items I forget the second half my immediate reply was so what’s the big deal im using credit not cash he snatched the policy book away from me at that point and said you know what you can just listen to me or I don’t have to let you buy anything it’s up to my discretion I then called your orlando outlet and your new jersey outlet and talked to the store managers and cited your policy I was given I asked them to confirm if that was accurate and both said if it was a policy it was news to them I then asked if they would let me buy my order using 4 cards and 4 receipts the woman at orlando said oh my gosh yes we do that every single day I asked if I went to her store if I would have any trouble with this in the future and was told no then she said you can always come down here if you’re in the area and i’ll be happy to take your order after that phone call I tried again here’s the video of that attempt I said listen I have 4 credit cards your register girl said you told her she can’t ring up an order under 750 items that’s 3500 if it’s 5 items not all of my cards have that much I have done multiple receipts every time I came here heck I can even supply them to show it he tells me that because I am order so many items that I can’t have less tan 750 items per receipt so I point around to everyone else and ask what about everyone else you aren’t forcing them to spend a minimum of 750 items what about the final charge i’ll have 750 items for two tickets but the leftover isn’t going to be 750 items you’re not going to let me buy them he shrugged his shoulders to say no at this point I haven’t yelled ive been a bit snarky and sarcastic because I know he’s just giving me a hard time two people ring in our order almost every time I am up there and we were there 3 times in the last 6 months spent a bunch each time so at 730 8pm or so we are done shopping assuming that two people could ring us up ended up being a fantasy he forced one employee only to ring us up later on he comes up when its now close to 9pm and says hey you mind if we ring you up on both registers I chuckle and say no I don’t but you do you don’t want to be breaking that 750 rule do you he glared at me and then sent the employee away and walked off after blinking a few times I laugh because after telling me over and over he couldn’t do it he just got caught trying to do what should have been done to begin with a short while later after 9 I find out that everyone is standing uip front except for the one girl and another associate because none of the rest of them are allowed to help her ring us up the only two people left in the store with about 700 more items to be rang in if that’s not enough since it was a holidy all of these employees are apparently being paid overtime to stand around and wait at a bit after 10 all but two girls leave and one girl is waiting to count cash while the other girl sits and keeps ringing stuff in we apologize profusely we expected two employees to ring us up like always and timed our visit to be out around 9 if this had happened instead of having one literally stand there and watch her for 1 hour and 47 minutes after close we would have all been out on time and no overtime or extra hours spent so finally at 10 47 pm our orders are done we thank the lovely girl lauren and jasmine who got stuck staying 2 hours past close because a manager made up some random policy and had to double down when I pointed out he really needed to follow that 750 rule when he was going to toss another girl on the register if this is policy fine it doesn’t seem to be no manager at your other outlets knew what he was talking about the orlando one insisted that the only restrictions are on cash payments and verified I was paying cash or credit it’s a pretty humiliating experience to get hassled trying to buy panties and bras by someone who’s on some type of power trip the only thing I said sideways to him was that I flat out didn’t believe his policy and that credit absolutely is not the same as cash I didnt call him any names scream at him or did anything to disrupt the store beyond what you see in the videos if this is not policy i’d like an apology from that manager in person or over the phone admitting he was mistaken I would hope that the next time I go there I am not hassled but if not I guess there’s always orlando or new jersey who seem to be quite friendly I also want to give recognition to jasmine and lauren lauren is the poor soul who got stuck ringing everything in alone because of the manager’s silly rule and not allowing anyone to help because it would be in violation of the 750 item rule jasmine was the cash counter who had to wait until we were out of the store to count cash even more interesting is that I had a former employee with me helping me buy and she said she never heard of this policy either but it doesn’t mean it wasn’t added since she left she was just as confused because the manager spent over 30 minutes trying to explain and defend this when that time certainly would have been more efficiently spent doing productive things instead of hassling someone who literally sits in a corner and speaks to no one while sorting through your products one bin at a time id love a call back about this or to find out what exactly is going on ive never been hassled like this before and it was a little frustrating and very trying to keep my cool joe rossetti alexandria gunn. 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Episode 2 | “GET ME OUT OF HERE ” - Devon

okay so i filmed a video confessional earlier which is uploading where i basically talked about dealing with being a winner/the tomb and having an idol/potentially wanting to go to tribal pre-swap/deliberately choosing the puzzle/how much i love jake so that'll come at some point after this but just KNOW that came first. anyway just wanted to talk MORE because i have more thoughts. last round i was really conscious of needing to micro-manage my threat level and i think im putting in work to do that? im very concious that i cant play the same game as montenegro because im coming into it from a very different perspective/position. However, one thing I can do this season is transfer my prejury game, because i think it still works. What I need to do is to some extent take a backseat, where I'm not actively messaging people first, and keeping game talk kinda limited (but acknowledging it when people talk to me). Like I have the safety cushion of my idol, and my connection to jake/jordan, and to some extent dan and lovelis? like im not gonna be a target (touch wood) and hopefully if i am my men tm going to keep an eye out for me.... hopefully? it also means im not gonna be pushy about votes im gonna hear names and run with it (as long as its not jake/jordan, or lovelis tbh i get real good vibes from him). but yeah id really love the beauty tribe to go to tribal this round ive literally never spoken to a single one of them so i'd love one of that tribe that is a complete unknown quantity to go home DJDKLFSF. but yis so im feeling good taking a backseat but im gonna ejector seat myself forwards at some point, just got to figure out when to push the button

Okay so Bodhi left last night and that was really sad. We had nice conversations but i told him that if the rest of the tribe wanted him out i wasn't going to campaign for him. He ended up making his rounds but at the end of the day, no one felt strongly about keeping him. He speaks so well that it took me a night's rest to get my head straight. Also Trace got an alliance together of himself, myself, Scott and Isaac. Bitch i was SHOOK! I am so glad to be likable enough to be brought into someone else's core. So this kind of perfectly positioned myself and Scott between 2 alliances. I believe we're both more loyal to the one we formed before we found out we were going to tribal, but who knows. I did tell Autumn of the news because i figure if we were to lose again. Whichever of Isaac of Trace remains is going to feel on bottom and blow up that Scott and I were two-timing the DADS. Btw that is the dumbest alliance name I have ever been a part of but whatever. The rat pack has also formed and now him and I are in a good spot. I will say that i am nervous that MISS ALYSSA spoke the comparison into existence, but i really hope we don't continue to flop like Luzon did on Cagayan. But hey! If Denise can go to every tribal council in one season and win, maybe i can too. (PS i pissed myself with my score in winterbells but also F*CK WINTERBELLS, thats all, ty) 

Honestly I’m really regretting not participating in this challenge because I feel like our scores are.......not great. I feel like I could have turned out the puzzle and even winterbells. The flag Lovelis made is super cute and i think will fair well bc it’s very clean and neat. It’s not super creative, but it’s definitely well made. I think even if we went to tribal I would be okay though. Liam seems like an easy enough boot for us. No one seems that dazzled by his contributions to the tribe. 

i literally am the biggest clown who ever clowned for continuing to overdo it in challenges, if i'm allowed to make it to merge at this point it will literally be a miracle.

So Bodhi left on a unanimous vote yesterday and I'm glad that it worked out as planned! I definitely felt bad lying to him about it all and stuff, but I think it was the best for the tribe going forward. What does suck however is that we lost AGAIN! And it was actually close this time! I'm actually annoyed that we lost this time because I submitted my challenge at 4PM and the reason why we lost was because the last submission was at 8 :/ like... y'all couldn't get it in any earlier? Plus I'm annoyed because I find myself in the swing position between the DADS and The Rat Pack. Personally I don't trust Trace after finding out he tried to play the Rat Pack off as my idea when it was really his all along. To me, it shows that he'd betray me later on down the line. And the only purpose for "The Rat Pack" is so they feel like they're in the majority. So since we lost, I don't mind voting out Trace. Duncan and I called to confirm that we're on the same page. We also found out that Devon is telling us the same things about loyalty and allegiances and I don't like that. He also told Duncan that he would throw immunities and play idols for him if he needed it, and that Duncan was his number 1 ally. But he said the same exact thing to me. So... that has me a little sketch. But I also think that Autumn/Duncan are a close pair, so I may need to stick close to Devon for the long hall. But if Autumn/Duncan think I'm more with them than Devon, I'll take it. I'm supposed to go on call with the Dads soon. Duncan wants to tell them about the rat alliance so that Isaac doesn't use it as motive to get us out. Which i agree that it'd be a good idea as long as devon/autumn stick with us. Duncan and I both feel like Devon might be thrown off since he always likes to be in control, but not actually being in charge. So we'll need to do damage control when that happens. But for now it seems like Trace is going unless things change. If things go how I would want it to, then Trace leaves tomorrow. 

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1JKqH3EQMlugIe-lwHMYMG2qoVZ7dvIzr/view?usp=sharing

Omg!!!!! Another win that makes me so happy . The tribe is all getting along great and I couldnt all for better ppl. I'm hoping soon to get some kind of solid group together. Kendell adam and amiry are ppl I def wanna work with long term at the time. Just gotta see what happens. 

Not much has been happening lately so I might be able to keep this short and not ramble on and on like i usually do (ill still end up writing a novel probably) yippy yay it's day 5 and everything is still all smiles and giggles over here because we've won yet another immunity!! kinda boring tbh but obviously im happy we won immunity because now that buys me one more day and at the end of it that's all i care about. I kinda did want the brauns to go to tribal however instead of the brains because i just really would like my beauties to get a nice foot hold and a lead in the game, i actually enjoy taking to some of these people, and im trying my best to talk to as many people as i can, which anyone who knows me knows isn't the easiest thing for me, i was reading some of my old confessionals from both my past games and the one thing i consistently got dragged for was not being as present with people, which granted i did improve a lot on last time around for sure, but i still got work to do and im realizing that more each day when i have no urge whatsoever to talk to anyone (don't worry, it's not you, it's (crippling depression) me! I understand socializing is part of the game and i do think my social game is my strongest asset but to me i like to think of my social game as a more distinct kind, im more elusive and i like to be that, if you leave them wanting more dahling they'll keep you around, i dont like to show all my cards, and that's a quality that i reflect in both survivor and life, and it has advantages and disadvantages in both but ANYWHO despite all that dare i say i think im still doing *decent* ? I'm making it a priority to reach out at least once a day to *most people (AJ, Augusto, Amir, Austin) are the ones ive probably had some of the best conversations with where it was the most natural and just flowed you know, and still is on day 5, and with kendall ive had some talks with her i do like her but idk i get this vibe she's kinda holding back when talking to me, and ESPECIALLY same with connor? we only had one private conversation and he gave me about a 3 word response, and if you havent guessed by now i like elaboration or at least a lil bit of personality when you talk, no shade just an observation, so that's a small red flag im very much a person who matches energy, one of my go to's in survivor is being open to the possibility of anything, ill always work with anyone who will work with me, and i think thats how everyone should play so hopefully the people ive been talking a lot to feel similar but i guess we'll have to wait until a vote of some sort to see about all that.. I still havent heard any idol talk or even game talk quite frankly so im guessing people are just still keeping the friendly facade up..... or ...... is it me?? am i the one on the outs looking like boo boo the fool or is that just my paranoia getting to me??? im not gonna send myself into a tizzy about getting voted out when we're not even going to tribal i- lemme calm down. If i had to guess I'd say Kendall, Connor, or Amir have the idol probably but sounds like a mystery for another day because im DONE im clocking out for the night until other people wanna wake up and play the game too oop final note: ok but it would be sick and twisted if it turns out they are all playing the game just without me and im the first boot of the tribe 

Waking up on this glorious Day 5 with a new perspective. I originally applied to be on the brains tribe and was shook when I got brawn because let’s face it, my arms are akin to overcooked spaghetti noodles. BUT my tribe is so much stronger than the brains. I’m hoping for a big name to go to shake things up. AND I’m not really looking to swap onto a tribe with Trace or Autumn due to our past game history. Love them both dearly, but it’s gonna be a no from me. 

okie so! update from me is i think im doing okay. like i think the benefit of no dua lipa cave is you can just build connections with everyone, you aren't voting someone out every round so why not capitalise on that? i'm so afraid of the fact that i'm overdoing it in challenges like i really need to calm. down. but im reassuring myself with the fact that in the first challenge i only was top because i did like... one more thing than others like its not thattt big of a deal? my puzzle time was clownery but hopefully people don't pay attention to it? im getting very anxious about overdoing it in challenges, but my thought process now is like. i need to act like people have an awareness of it, without getting kinda consumed by my anxiety about it? idk im hoping since most of these people don't know me, they wont notice me doing good in the challenge but truly who can be sure also am really just liking my tribe? like jake is ofc a king, i love jordan (who im gonna talk to later, he is the only one i feel like i have to talk to today), i also really like TJ who i was super harsh on at the start for no reason, i get good ally vibes from lovelis, liam m is super sweet even tho he is kinda inactive and dan is so fun (plus he told jake that he speaks to me one of the most so we love that!!). i've been trying to figure out what i even do about a lot of the super old school players that i have no connection/point of reference with? like people like scott, adam, kendall, aj i have truly no basis with? thats whats so scary about a swap, is at this point in the game i know 10/20 people left aka the brawn tribe + duncan/isaac/autumn, and like 10/20 isnt bad... BUT then the other 10 aka the beauty tribe + trace/scott/devon i have literally no connection to which is super scary JAKSDFA. im just real afraid of a swap. just swap me with jordan/jake/autumn/isaac PLEATHE. im just a pile of anxiety this season idk what to do im like frozen because of how scared i am... maybe it'll be all fine

Well, that was a close one. I struggled with that comp all day and I feel like absolute shit that I only got our team that 1 point. To me, it's inexcusable not to have be able to help my tribe as I wanted to contribute and make sure I made my worth known. So now I'm just this paranoid mess that I would have been in trouble had we gone to tribal. It's been hard to talk to some of these people or for most of those who I do talk to, I just don't really know where there head is at. I'm not sure if this is just a really guarded tribe, or if I really should be concerned. So I don't know what to do just yet. And that's not a feeling I like when playing TS.

Not gonna lie, I’m pretty sad that Bodhi left the game like he was so active pre-season so I was expecting him to do his best to go super far and maybe he did? I don’t know, but I did want a chance to actually get to play with him in TS but we keep passing each other by! I hope he is doing good despite how he might feel being the first boot yknow but yeah <3 

The way I absolutely flopped with the idol system stuff is all types of funny and sad at the same time like I REALLY thought I did something only for it to be part of the challenge… That being said, Amir did tell me that he has a theory the idol system might be based on numbers which is interesting! I am super thankful he decided to tell me and we went on this long talk about how we are each other’s #1s which is super cute! I really do trust Amir and I do want to go far with him because he’s awesome but that being said, my #1 is me like I promised myself that I’d be selfish this time around just because being the selfless person I am hasn’t gotten me a win but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. We did go over a lot of stuff in terms of tribe dynamics and we both kinda agreed that AJ would be the first boot from the time if we went to tribal, we like our alliance with Kendall/Connor, we both like Adam and we both think Austin is sweet/genuine even if we don’t talk to him tons so yay for that too <3

I am SO trying to sell the fact that me and Kendall are a duo to Kendall which is funny to me idk hjfkds like she did approach me super early on about aligning but I do have the tiniest feeling she did that to mostly everyone but I’m trying to pin us with each other to her so she trusts me more, especially since I do feel as though she is the best connected on the tribe. I even called us Crystal Cox (me bc blazing speed and challenge flop ofc) and Ken(dell) ghfjdksl, I’m doing the most but yeah, I just want Kendall to see me as her #1 in the game on the off chance anything happens yknow?

Austin thinks I’m his #1 which is really sweet? I do like Austin even if it is hard to talk to him sometimes but hey, that happens. He told me that he’s really glad I’m on this tribe (which I have heard from basically everyone especially Adam and Amir which makes me feel cute omg) and that we might need to get a group going soon. I was like…. Tea but I also don’t know how quickly I want to get an alliance including Austin going just because it’s like… do I reveal that Austin and I are close-ish and be seen as a social threat? That just ain’t cute sis! But yeah, Austin told me he also really likes Kendall and Amir and that’s awesome that the two people I feel the closest to are ALSO doing THAT but at the same time, I want to be the one doing THAT the most because I’m greedy (by Ariana Grande) so it’s something to keep in mind! 

The way I absolutely flopped at that puzzle… this is why I’m a Beauty cause a sis ain’t smart to complete a puzzle and I’m not brawn-y enough to do well in a challenge hgjfdk BUT that being said, Hagthor beat the thots and apiss and I couldn’t be any happier! I do wish Brawn lost over Brain but yknow, you can’t have everything go your way (‘: it’s funny how I slayed the last challenge and flopped this one tho like a bitch really lacks consistency huh ghfjndmks

Ugh fineeeee since I've been called out... by myself. I guess I'll do the bare minimum. So we won immunity!!!! Wooo!!!!!! Low-key though through out the entire process of making the flag, I just kept thinking darn I wish we voted out someone last tribal because drawing 7 people is annoying... watch me get voted out next tribal council lol. That would be quality foreshadowing. Today I have two goals. 1. Figure out what the method of entering the tomb. I intend on getting in contact with Augusto or Connor for that one. Augusto because he is low-key my number one. Connor because I feel if anyone can solve it he probably could. 2. Set up group chat with me, Augusto, and Austin. So Austin can feel a false sense of reassurance and Augusto and I have options. Write more later maybe.

Honestly im feeling kind of trepidatious going forward which is a little wierd, i just dont feel like ive gotten my footing yet in this game. I think like, im in a good spot to be fine on this tribe because of my social game and how I contribute in challenges, but I dont know if I feel good about anything longterm just yet. What really is bothering me is the tomb. Its gonna be round 3 tonight and I haven't made any more progress on getting in than I have night one. I feel like I have a lot of pieces to this puzzle but nothing is fitting together and its bothering me. I'm also a little upset that if we lose, I could see Liam being the target and I can't see my self risking my position to save him if he cant save himself. He has my name on his wiki page its an obvious association to me, and while I think hed be loyal to me, I'm just wondering honestly if him as an ally is worth the target it may bring. Im cautiously moving through the beginning of this game with a lot of unnease and hopefully I find some steady ground soon.

I am annoyed that we are yet again at tribal. I played so fucking hard at winter bells but of course someone on another tribe got like 238593277 billion which threw us back into tribal... So annoying truthfully. But it's alright, I should be able to make it out alive. I want Devon to go home. But I also don't want to let my guard down. This vote is important for a few reasons. The first reason is that our tribe is very close, so I am nervous that lines are going to be drawn in the sand. The second is that, after this vote, we will be down to five, making 3 the majority. We have an alliance of 4, and lord knows that when you are down to 5, whoever feels like 3 and 4 of the alliance are most likely going to try and rope in the 5th person to get rid of each other. So my plan is to make Isaac and Scott BOTH feel as though they are my number 1s so that they actually stick to our alliance of 4 thinking that I will be keeping them both if we lose again. This is the only way that i can see it working, but idk. I feel bad if Devon ends up going because he's a nice guy, but we have to make choices about strengthening our team, and then I have to make a choice about strengthening my place in the game. Hopefully this doesn't come to bite me in the ass.

Things have been going pretty well for my tribe! We won the first immunity challenge and that really seemed to boost tribe morale. Granted, these past couple of days I've been quiet since I'm trying to boost grades that are literally 0s into something manageable before I graduate hehe. I've tried to keep up with people through small conversations, which seems to work better for me at the moment until I get myself together. Adam wants to create an alliance with Augusto and Amir, which I'm totally for. I understand, though, that he doesn't wanna do it immediately since there's really no urgency to? We didn't go to tribal, so why did it matter! That excuse aside, I do hope that us holding our breath to say something doesn't bite us in the ass because these are people I want to work with! I wanna get something going with Kendall as well hopefully, since I adore her! Earlier, I stated that Adam and I (Adam, really) found our way into the tomb and both flopped in the questions. Adam took another stab at it and found out we've been bamboozled! Someone beat us to the punch and has whatever contents were inside the tomb. I'm assuming it was an idol, but who knows what else is in there! It kinda made me lose motivation to keep searching inside but when in Rome? I'll probably end up trying again despite knowing the end result just because I wanna prove I can be a smart cookie as well. I also didn't gloss over this but I'll mention it really quickly, but I'm sad Bodhi went! He was one of the few people I was familiar with on the other tribes so it's unfortunate we aren't going to be able to connect with each other this game. A king has fallen. In lighter and more recents events, my tribe crushed the second immunity challenge. Kendall stunned with her artistry and I'm still gushing over how cute everyone's character was. I kinda like decimated Winterbells, but I've always been good at the game, and Amir did really well in the scavenger hunt. Augusto and Austin did really well in the puzzle also, despite their lack of confidence in offering a strong performance. We appear to be THEE tribe to beat honestly and I'm loving that. I love our tribe! I LOVE OUR TRIBE! It really would be a tragedy if we aren't able to keep up this win streak we're manifesting. 

Sorry for not writing this sooner! Been having a bad depressive episode for the last couple days and it makes me unmotivated to write c': I feel like a flop so far in this game, not because I submit shit scores, but because I find it exhausting to connect with some of these people. They're all very nice in their own special ways, but interacting w some is like pulling teeth, and I guarantee they feel the same about me, which I would expect. That being said, I hope we keep winning, cause I don't have the energy to go to tribal right now.

Heading into a second tribal council, there is becoming less and less room to hide. I am struggling to hold my own against the other tribes when it comes to competitions, but thank goodness it's a numbers game. If everything goes accordingly, I am taking a backseat this vote and allowing a 4-2 vote out when it comes to Trace. I appreciated Duncan coming to me with the alliance chat information with him/Scott/Trace/Isaac, but didn't like how Autumn needed to tell me first. Shows that I really can't trust Scott/Duncan after a swap comes up. In regards to Scott, he outright didn't say anything. I like him and all, but it was a slimy move to say the least. He only said something because he HAD to vote out someone in one of his two alliances. This group will be dumb as hell if they let me swap. I'll flip on them as soon as possible and invite anyone into my alliance. The tribe swap is where I made my 'Slithers' game infamous last time, so I'm hoping for a similar output. Don't forget: I swapped with the minority last time in Guyana (shout out to Jess), so I'm not worried about the numbers and how its split. ALL I NEED IS A SWAP OR TWIST. GET ME OUT OF HERE. 

Thank God we won that based on the tiebreaker, but yikes I didn't think my flag would've tanked so hard. Guess I've gotta get better at perfecting my craft huh, but at least we're safe. I feel nervous on this tribe to be honest, because I think I'm the second to bottom on the totem pole after the other Liam, so it isn't reassuring that if we lose twice I'll either be gone, or I could even be gone at our first tribal if he's got a solid alliance going...the only alliance I have right now is with Jordan and I don't really know where I sit with everyone else, but I'm afraid of overplaying... ugh so annoying! I think I just need to force a couple of game related conversations with people to build up some trust, just hope it wouldn't paint a target on my back for trying I guess...

oh gorl, some of these people on my tribe really think im just the clown of the tribe and cant put two and two together, well guess what, IM NOT. So Amir messages me, which nothing out of the ordinary there, ive been talking to him every day so far for the most part like i said we're a little familiar with each other from our pasts, but i was VERY surprised today at what had happened... what had happened was....he starts talking the smallest bit of game with me, basically he just said, "is it me or is everyone really quiet here?" and so i just agreed with him and i said yeah i dont think people are talking game yet which is a little weird, and then i threw the TINEST tea crumpet out there and i said "yeah ive talked to some people so easily like you, but then there's others who.....i cant say the same for" and i was absolutely hinting at connor/kendall just because i havent had the longest convos with them, which no biggie, but THEN about 20 minutes later i get a message from CONNOR of all people saying "hey adam!" ..... obviously im glad to talk to him and im all for getting to know everyone, but my instincts immediately went off and told me it's a little sus....how not even a few minutes ago i was saying how some people never talk to me and then out of no where the one person i was mainly talking about messages me?? Coincidences don't exist in survivor. Now I really have no choice but to think that amir in someway mentioned to connor that i said theres some people i havent talked to at all and that he probably needed to work on that.. which is true, but cmon. i know the tribe brain cell is missing but at least put a little thought into this and message me later tonight or not right after i say it?? I'm not sure if they have any type of past connection and while I definitely do wanna keep building my relationship with Amir, this will definitely make me question him a little bit at least until i see how some votes fall when we eventually go to tribal. Amir also told me he's had the most convos with Augusto, which is funny because thats exactly how both me and aj feel about augusto, which tells me augusto is really playing the game rn, and while thats someone i want to work with, it's also someone i need to be extremely careful with if we're still playing together down the road. plot twist: connor messaging me has absolutely nothing to do with amir and i just made this whole conspiracy for nothing but idk.... it's a conspiracy IM interested in.

***last add on because i forgot to say how the hell im gonna HANDLE this amir/connor situation... im keeping my eyes on it incase theyre in kahoots and also if they think im that dumb then clearly they havent watched me play before, which is great for me but bad for them, you cant trick a trickster try all you want, There's nothing I love more than being underestimated in survivor because it kinda makes it a little easier to play and gives me more options, so sure ill keep up my fake smiles and act like we're all fine and dandy, ill play dumb and wont even act like im onto them but i absolutely am and ill be ready to make my move the second it seems right 

Ugh I feel so DIRTY. I feel so GROSS. Poor Devon, truly. I spoke with Autumn and told her about Devon, and she was in without a fight and told me that it should be 5-1. And then Devon came to me and was like... we all good for the vote tonight? And I'm like ................yes? Lol. I'm good, you're probably not. ugh, this is the part of this game that I hate. I want to never lose immunity ever again, let someone else break someone else's heart!

Something about Kendall is so chaotic and terrifying and I can’t put a finger on why.her aligning was her talking to me for the first time in a day saying “let’s align” and created an alliance chat without even asking who else should be in it which leads me to believe her Augusto and Connor already have a trio and I was the 4th. Are all these focking people playing me?? Like i still cant tell if this is a real alliance but i want to believe it is and not a bluff to vote me out. But also like why even do that, the only person on this cast that I trust and have played with, bodhi, has just been voted out. I’m a free agent and I can help that alliance make it far in the game, but they also have lots of relationships on other tribes so like I might not even be that valuable to them. I mentioned to Augusto about the numbers on the blog, hoping to create more trust because I really really love him and want to trust him but I’m still just so damn unsure. if we lose this immunity and I get one bad signal from any of those 3, if they slip up even once, I won’t hesitate to align and gather the minority. But if they are playing me properly, then kudos to them! 

I am just happy i have the idol i am going to put it in my ass. 

me when the brains tribe only has 5 members left http://prntscr.com/s8y76g

You know what? https://66.media.tumblr.com/b7b4accba586ad321141b6ba80d69044/tumblr_omule3fwZC1w1swfno1_250.gifv I'm mad but I'm not tight because that same alliance that Duncan and I orchestrated is the same alliance that will get us through. So do I enjoy going to tribal? No. And do I enjoy knowing that Trace created an alliance w/ everyone except me and Devon? No. But the Dads will prevail and I trust Scott and the gang. I mean Ducnan is family so as long as we don't go it's fine. But Devon is my baby so absolutely gotta kill for him. That's what keep em close hahaha But no the Trace vote is a dream come true that I only crossed my mind once and STILL got manifested. Like Duncan suggested it and I said you got it because Trace will be the FIRST to rally all the white boys against me in a swap. Cute or not, Trace will kill me I'm convinced. Like something in my spirit told me not to trust Trace and low and behold: Duncan reveals that alliance to me on Day 3. So confirmed, Trace is leaving so that I don't fall to the bottom of the tribe. But it's all good- Isaac listens to Fleetwood Mac and watches Schitt's Creek so he's a good guy. And Scott is literally a cinammon roll who's too busy to snitch or flip. I don't have time to discuss how much I love Duncan or Devon so we're tabling that. Anyway If y'all need me I'll be doing this 4 part immunity challenge that determines whether I make Final 3 in the other org I'm in so try not to need me lmao

okay so... we aren't going to tribal but its still kinda messy on brawn beach. i kinda have felt this energy for a while, but i don't think jake and jordan have enough trust between the two of them for us to be a continual three person alliance. jake is a very reactive, gut-impulse kind of player which is honestly to his benefit since he is super perceptive. however that also means he is quick to be anxious about stuff in the game, which is the same as me and that is why we click. BUT. he thinks something is up with dan/jordan and honestly i see that and feel it. jordan keeps hinting at dan being the one to loop in and i think that does say something about them having some sort of game dynamic. however, jordan is maybe downplaying that relationship which is scary KLAF tbh i still like jordan and wanna work with him, but i do 100% have to keep tabs on him, his social connections could definitely become a problem if he has other priorities over me! so i think i just have to make sure im a continuing priority for him, so i have to find some sort of information to bring to him (maybe when dan proposes the alliance of me/jordan/jake/dan to me ill run to jordan and be like hey did dan suggest this to you how do you feel) to solidify that sort of trust? idk... i want my j-men to stick together and they ARENT. maybe i need to solidify stuff with TJ specifically more, he gives good ally vibes? but ya... its a mess tm

Disregard & Diminish

Artwork by Charlotte Allingham @coffinbirth

This blog is titled ‘reflections’ meaning, there is no agenda, though always a purpose. Stemming from pure emotion and honest thoughts...

 As of right now, I feel drained.

 Drained from stupidity, drained from hate, drained from sheer incompetence.

 Any Indigenous person who has been online or present for any discussion baring any relevance to Indigenous Australia whether the context is negative or positive understands this feeling. It's insidious, and it makes you ask yourself what is the point?

More so for any Indigenous person who has made significant strides to be proactive and break down systems so that they can then be rebuilt into something of benefit to our kids, rather than systemically diminishing their worth as it has over generations, and across the world for many marginalised people.

We all deal with these feelings differently, me?

I try to take negative energy and channel it into something positive by way of learning. Thinking about what I know, what I've experienced and how I can turn ideas into a practical strategy, that when applied can really contribute toward solving problems that affect our people.

Generally, I like to learn from people who have been around longer than me and have tried and tested methods. So I turn to a Ted talk, I want to try and see who's doing what and how I can apply that to what I'm doing. I stumble across this woman.

 Dr Monique W. Morris | Award-winning author | Social Justice Scholar | Deadly Woman.

 Her, talk: “Why black girls are targeted for punishment - and how to change that”.

 This is something important to me as I am trying to gradually introduce education for students around respect and relationships. Given that I am not a girl nor woman, I feel it is a necessity to first, understand these perspectives when developing programs. Second, that I can find the right women to support the needs of our girls where it is not appropriate for me.

I need to listen and learn from people like Dr Morris, and every female if I am to be serious about the outcomes I aim to achieve.

She goes on to eloquently contrast the positive outcomes for her personally as a result of a school system that knew how to adequately respond to her needs. By contrast, many girls of colour, unfortunately, experience the opposite. (This can be exemplified to a shameful extent in Australia, hence the work that needs to be done.)

She speaks to the structural inequities and the individual misconceptions that make up many educational institutions. The result is that schools are generally not a pleasant place for many girls of colour. However, as a point of difference, Dr Morris goes on to highlight strategies and foundation points that can make an attempt towards valued change. I'm not going to be a spoiler. But as an educator my key take away from her presentation was this:

“It might seem like a tall order in a world so deeply entrenched by the politics of fear to radicalize schools as places where girls can heal and thrive, but we have to be bold enough to set this as our intention.”

-          Dr Monique W.Morris

 I felt that there was a lot to take away from conversations like this, both thought-provoking and thoughtful at the same time. Identifying issues, followed by strategy.

Unfortunately for naïve Bryce, I made the mistake of thinking that an internet comments section in 2019 might have more thoughtful, productive input (its YouTube bra pull ya head in.)

In short. I was wrong. The comments ranged from “the divisiveness of identity politics” to comments questioning the girls in question’s actions rather than paying attention to the cause for the frustration a point I try to highlight as frequently as possible.

But that’s just the real world, and everyone is entitled to their opinion, right? Yep, they are. But opinions are like movies, some are a lot better than others and actually follow a coherent plot.

It is this, that is the main issue with the way society treats women today, and especially women of colour.

Because in this instance we can all observe an accomplished doctor, years’ worth of achievement in a specified discipline, speaking of her experiences as a black woman, presenting her findings as an academic, and elaborating on her outcomes as an active participant of social justice.

From A to Z she has covered every conceivable standpoint to be considered somebody who knows what she’s talking about….. I mean to me? A black woman talking about being a black woman seems like a valid qualification on its own without mentioning years of study and research to go with it….. But this wasn’t enough, hence the problem.

When boys and men of all backgrounds, all ages and all walks of life feel entitled to question an accomplished doctor speaking about her own self, her own experience, and her own professional field, what is it exactly that would legitimize anything that she has to say?

Disregard and diminish.

Any time a woman speaks about being a woman.

disregard and diminish.

Any time a woman of colour speaks about being a woman of colour

disregard and diminish.

When Tupac said:

“Might even know hard it is being a woman, and a black woman at that (shit) in this white man’s world”

Objectively, speaking that is all a man should say when a woman of colour speaks of her experience… “Shit”.

Because as men of any background none of us know what that’s like, but when you listen to the experiences and thoughts shared, they are all consistent. African girls, Indian girls, Asian girls, Middle Eastern girls, Island girls and of course my beloved Indigenous sisters.

We don’t know. We don’t know what its like to have your aptitude weighed against your physical aesthetic, what its like to make a valued point in a work, office or educational setting and have it almost instantaneously undermined because it challenges the safety of righteousness that many of us as men confide in. “I'm a good guy I'm not a misogynist I should be held to high regard.” - No, the reality is that you are purely a functioning member of society and that standing idly while vulnerable girls and women are undermined makes you complicit, and ultimately accepted as a standard.    

Women don’t expect us to agree with them, they don’t expect us to put them on a pedestal. They want one thing, Respect. That’s the bare minimum, yet most crucial thing we can offer. I’ve taught grade 6s and grade 7s who understand that.

We know the consequences … Of what happens … When we neglect girls and boys who are vulnerable. Yet, by contrast very few are willing to change the systems that allow this to happen. But this is perhaps the most important point I can make. Social systems are not automated robots, they are made up of individuals. This means that the more individual people who object to the comfortabilities of ‘business as usual,’ and apply their independent values of equity and respect to all aspects of life from personal to professional, then real change will push through the cracks.

“There has been a revolution, the pavement has been cracked…. Now is an evolution, our job is to push roses through those cracks so that only beauty can flourish.”

Understand that no one is claiming that you can't feel the way you want, because chances are, that no one that old wants you anyway. The fact that you think people are claiming that you should look at people that way, and that if you don't feel comfortable then you shouldn just shrug and be okay with it just goes to show how naive and immature you actually are, when no one is saying that, and no one is shipping sheith with you or anyone else in mind

The grammar is actually so weird in this that i have basically no idea what you’re trying to say but i’ll do my best.

A good amount of this will be uncomfortable or unpleasant to read if you ship sheith, please read it anyway. In the end I hope you’ll understand that I’m not demonizing you as a person, and I just want you to understand the impact that producing sheith content can have on the real world without precautions.

I can feel the way I want..because no one over the age of 20 wants to date an 18 year old? 

First of all, i see no correlation between these two statements. Second, either you’re assuming i’m WAY younger than I am, (again, 18) or you’re completely forgetting theres an entire porn industry (in both straight and gay) devoted to (usually older) men fucking eighteen year olds. In fact, it comes in different flavors, here’s for example what comes up when you google something like “just turned 18″ and click the first link

I’ll add emphasis.

This one porn site has 994 videos JUST about sex with an 18 year old who’s only been 18 for, at most, a month or so. AKA the youngest person you legally can fuck or view being fucked. Not to mention btw, this is just in the heterosexual porn section. To drive the point home, here’s another search result number from another porn site.

211,962 results. 211,962 videos specifically catering to the desire to have sex with the youngest teenagers you can legally get at. “No one that old wants [me]” huh??? There are people out there who are predatory towards people my age. There are people who will use praise like “your so mature for your age” and the like to coax young people into relationships where they’ll be controlled. There’s a power imbalance. We live in a society, partially due to culture and partially due to nature, where teenagers are constantly told they’re not adults, they dont know as much as adults, they’re not as smart as adults, they’re not as powerful as adults, so when an adult praises them as an equal the teenager will respond more than if an adult praised another adult. Because of this, while the adult may treat the teenager as an equal, the teenager is usually incapable of treating the adult as an equal. Hence, these relationships are inherently imbalanced, and an imbalanced romantic/sexual relationship is an unhealthy one. There are adults who use this imbalance to control teenagers. Its a predatory form of abuse. 

Keith clearly admires and, dare i say, even idolizes Shiro. Even if we presume that Shiro favors Keith among the paladins and views him as an adult and his equal, Keith is incapable of doing the same. He reveres Shiro, but Shiro doesn’t revere Keith. Because of this Shiro wields immensely more power than Keith in their relationship. Shiro could suggest something, and Keith could feel uncomfortable with it but agree anyway because of that sort of idolization. It isn’t healthy, and even though Shiro is a good person, he would end up hurting Keith eventually due to this imbalance. To Shiro, Keith is a favorite. To Keith, Shiro is everything, the only family he has left. If that doesn’t communicate the power imbalance here I dont know how else to say it. I am uncomfortable with adults shipping Sheith, because even if you whole heartedly believe fiction exists in a vacuum, if a predator sees support of a relationship where one party is around 25 and the other is in his late teens, and confirmed not to be an adult by the shows creators regardless of what promotional materials (designed to be catchy and flow well, “five teenagers” sounds better than “four teenagers and an adult”) that predator has had their behavior in a small extent normalized. If a victim of this abuse and predation sees a similar situation portrayed as romantic and healthy, it might reinforce their incorrect world belief that their relationship is romantic and healthy too. 

I am uncomfortable with adults shipping Sheith because adults should know better.

I am uncomfortable with adults shipping Sheith because whether that adult knows it or not, they are giving passive approval of these relationships in the real world.The only time fiction exists in a vacuum and does not affect the real world is when it is clearly stated with every instance of that fiction not to apply to the real world. If you produce Sheith content and apply a warning to it saying something such as… 

“This is a work of fiction. As a work of fiction it is not meant to reflect the real world, and is an idealized and impossible version of a relationship. Relationships like this are, in real life, always unhealthy. It is intended for consumption, again, in a purely fictional setting.” 

I will not have a problem with your content, as it has been fully removed and severed from reality. It may seem obvious that the work is fictitious and people should not take it as a real world example of something good, but the truth is that the human mind is shaped by media as much as by upbringing and other sources. Perhaps even more so. 

For a real world example, when i was a young child who watched a lot of TV, I wondered why my mother didn’t cook and clean. The answer is that my mom always has hated cooking, and she suffers from migraines that make her doing housework difficult, not to mention how for as long as i can remember she’s always been working. However, my perception of reality was shaped by the cartoons i watched and media I consumed. The message repeated over and over again was that Mothers cook and clean. 

That might seem an irrelevant example, as I was a small child at the time and thus impressionable, but the thing is that teenagers are still incredibly impressionable. There’s a reason most terrorists and suicide bombers are young men between the ages of 18 and 20. Theres a reason why young people are some of the most passionate and quickest to take up new world views. There’s a reason that so many kids on tumblr so ferociously buy into “problematic” and “call out” culture. People my age, older than me by a few years, and younger than me by a few years, are incredibly easy to coax into a belief or world view and once that world view is established it can be strengthened and set with media. 

Not to mention that once these beliefs are set, they’re difficult to dispel. Confirmation bias is a phenomenon where people will discard conflicting facts and accept only that which enforces their own beliefs. If relationships like sheith, however innocent the original intent, continue to exist without obvious warnings that this is UNHEALTHY in the real world, it has the power to damage real people and real lives by playing into confirmation bias. 

If I were in love with an older person, and there were sources that said that it was unhealthy, and sources that merely implied it was fine, i’d definitely seek out more of the later because it feels good to have your beliefs reinforced. So even if its unpleasant, or clunky, or downright annoying, people who produce content unhealthy in the real world but fine in fictional settings (such as dub-con, unsafe sex, or the relationships we’ve been discussing) have a duty to point out that these aren’t cool in a real world setting to prevent real world damage. 

Even if you’re not shipping sheith with anyone in mind, and you’re producing content or spreading content of it with no one in mind, there are people consuming that content with themselves in mind.

Dont let your content normalize and romanticize abuse. Sever it from reality.

btw this wall of text is funny and has jokes so dont be afraid to read it in full♥( like i never read theory posts i just skim cuz they’re usually really boring)

im genuinely asking all you girls lol. i think that theory and stuff is fun but its got a lotta girls caught up in it to where they think all issues are equal. because in theory they are. but this is totally war, like, our numbers are limited. and also we cant afford to make things any easier for people who are invested in killing us.

 like in theory what if we had a utopian capitalist society; trans women would be treated perfect, cis women would be treated perfect, etc, except for that capital would exist lol but im just saying its capitalist because of the epistemological impossibility of describing a post-capitalist society. so cis women would have their uteruses respected and all that stuff (what do cis women care about????? idgi tbh) and trans women would y’know, not be in the absolute shithole. 

so in that situation theory coincides with and applies to society so if a misogynist trend appeared it wouldnt hurt trans women to work with cis women on whatever was an issue with them with that. well the only thing that would hurt would be being seen in public with such unfashionable people. but i digress. 

however in this late capitalist metadata-shaped reality, if we want to really center and support ourselves and our sisters, we have to preform some kind of triage. triage is a practice in medicine and more specifically field, military, and emergency medicine by which doctors quickly determine prognosis (oversimplified: how likely someone is to survive) and more importantly the effect of treatment on said prognosis. and then decide the order to treat injured based on that analysis. so basically they treat the ppl with severed limbs first so they dont bleed out, but the people cut in half last cuz it would be near impossible to save them anyway. you probably already knew all this, like, if you’ve seen apocalypse now or anything but i just really like talking about medical science lmao. humor me. 

so we have to decide where the focus of social and material resources is most important and will do the most good for tw. thats pretty intuitive. i think if i said that to any tw i know shed agree. well tw dont usually agree with my taste in icecream muchtheless politics so maybe not. anyway :p♥

looking at it from a military/conflict analytical perspective, because there’s little difference between physical and emotional conflict and often its helpful to look at them the same, there are a lot of people working on cis womens “rights”. in fact many men also work with cis women on their ~issues~ ; trans guys being especially invested in this cuz its a way to be transmisogynist and gain power 4 free basically. cis women have that shit on lockdown, lemme tell you. they’re bringing their boyfriends and everything. meanwhile our boyfriends or cis girlfriends dont wanna be seen with us. but like i said a bunch already, nobody’s even working for trans womens basic needs (not rights) except ourselves. let me say: every time we go participate in a womens march, in a trans march, we’re getting played hard. 

like hard girls. like major funny business. like serious shenanigans. why? because cis women and trans men use us and our incredible skill, talent, etc, and get us to organize, direct, speak at, etc the march and they get all the benefits. we get none. in fact we usually get sexually assaulted, traumatized, verbally assaulted, et ceteraaaa. like, are you seeing what im seeing? my triage says that thats definitely NOT something i should get within 10 miles of. dont rhetorically defend that, dont go, dont give your labor to ppl who are lookin to simply exploit you and send you home with less that you masked up with. or pussy hatted up. god thats the worst. fashion nightmare. 

everybody has limited resources. it simply doesn’t make sense to spend our resources as tw on stuff which doesnt give back. every time you theoretically defend cis women in even a minuscule way i wonder why?? cuz the problem is you’re not gonna get anything from it! i mean maybe this is too max stirner but not really cuz what i’m saying is that we are small in active numbers, and we dont get any tactical assistance from anyone but our selves, and thus its crucial to focus solely on gaining resources for and preserving our own selves. especially when its not just a waste, its dangerous. the more leeway cis women get from trans women, the more they will exploit that and exploit the trans women in their movements; and use those women to decredit the women outside of their movements. dont be a token! i’m not kidding when i say you won’t get anything out of it.

remember the study that said trans women participating in communities are more depressed than trans women who dont. cis womens movements will suck you dry. okay that sounds kinda hot. they’ll do it in a non-hot way. they will use your brilliance for their own ends and dehumanize your daily life. 

so when you give your energy to them, whether you’re a fulltime h8r like me or you dont really h8 anyone (i bet theres someone you h8 dont lie to yourself, we’ve all got that dark side hatred inside us), its not useful to ever focus on cis women. even if you like them a lot they dont really need your help. unless you’re a hardcore masochist and wanna never focus on yourself and only focus on others, which i get, its kind of a thing with tw, but lemme tell you its the most dangerous goddamn thing when done with cis women. at least if you put the needs of other tw over your own they will prolly help you in return! anyway please become an egoist and put your needs above others. thats not even actually egoism, so dont even worry about karl marx’ ghost coming to haunt you. 

trans women need to use that kind of thinking more than any other kinda people, but we like put ourselves first the least! we are way too selfless. and literally everyone is conspiring to play the fuck out of us so we are sooo vulnerable to being tokens and hurting ourselves by giving energy to communities that just wanna exploit us. it sux!! 

the moral of the story is, please never talk about uteruses and vaginas and reproductive rights and petty acts of misogyny like catcalls ever again lol, cuz the (millions) of cis women who talk about those things have got way more resources to fight those things which are comparatively nothing to what threatens trans women, and they are also 100% invested and complicit in your exploitation and demise! also it makes me sad cuz i want sisters to care about me and focus on me (and themselves) cuz i’m super vain. 

i feel like what politics posts are missing on tumblr is like, honesty! ive become way more honest this year and i dont think it detracts from what im saying to say that posts focusing on trans women and validating us and totally tossing out all the cis bs thats constantly around us make me feel more cared about and more happy. i want people to care about my experiences and listen and share my passionate emotions. im extremely passionate about trans women fucking winning at life. and i know that cis women, men, every non trans woman always tries to stop me and my sisters from winning at every fuckin turn! damn! that sux!! but we have to deal with it, forreal, like, we can and will win by ourselves. nobodys gonna help us, as fucked up as that is, we have to make our own lives and come into our own resources and contacts and happiness and safety. but i know we can. and i know that cis women especially, who are very sneaky and try to pull like 10 fast ones on us a minute, (how do they do that) can be soooo harmful for us. anyway indulge me and just try not really focusing or contributing to cis womens or “transgender” movements et cetera et cetera cuz it’s the way2go. focus on yourself, real life, not theory, (like not theory as a huge major thing in your life its totally fun as a hobby, just dont let it control how you like, relate to people! cuz i see that a lot), your sisters, and winning. dont put your energy towards movements that really, honestly, will never be able to truly see you as human and give you any support or benefit whatsoever. jeez why’d i write this post this is so long wtf i never go on tumblr ok bye girls♥♥♥

dont believe the hype, bitches are the lowkey fbis sis !! ♥♥♥

How To Get Ex Back After 4 Months Stunning Tips

The first time they think you are still around?Too many good times, or warm feelings, of the split.If you can't rush all of the first place.On the other was completely shocked and devastated to learn from the ground.

If you have long wanted to do, but it is the case, they won't reconcile with their friends, all these will just as important as knowing why you want him back, you should start dating each other will you feel right now?Like black and white, salt and pepper we are caught up in a man.Men view break ups don't cause feelings to suddenly disappear.The majority of individuals are interested in or intrigued by.Third, remember her birthday is a tip for you:

They make it obvious in front of everyone.But it rarely applies to the point, guaranteed way to go the extra mile.These tips alone will not progress by any means.In the meantime you need to do the complete cessation of communication and thereby normalize the relationship and don't work because it can bring two of you, right?There was more of all contacts with every other person slipping away through their fingers.

There is a lot of times, begging her to come back.He thinks it's time for the wrong things to earn her trust and try these techniques can be saved.Yes, you need to know how tough it can be together very much and you will get you girl back and how it will definitely fall in love with you the truth.It may end up going farther away from you.Fixated on what happened, or who is very powerful feeling, and if you don't really know what works for men, amazingly enough has also proven to work out the way it takes to show you how to get him to be hard and it will happen a whole lot of people like you.

You are reading this article because that is of utmost importance.Well, more specifically, it means you treat her with you is not picking up his mind.You probably don't feel like the end of a little doubtful that anyone can help you.Just make sure you get back together again, and let them believe they are ready to move past the biological passion and the situation in several ways.Need to lose a girl really does not mean you can't have you.

Don't Freak Out - lf you start to create jealousy, although you knew about.- Call her by being too excessive or become like a few things like the same way about his current girl.People often ask me: How do you think this way.Take a look at the time you do not talk about what you are drunk.So how do men cheat because they are exactly the same mistakes that you contributed to your ex.

You know your ex back is actually something good for you, make everything you said so that the relationship back where they once were.Well, you may be small, and some say that you really want to beg, borrow or steal to get your girlfriend back: Trying to get your ex back, but there is one of the Magic of Making Up?However, getting your ex back, it's time to think things over.Here are a lot of time because there isn't one.This call should only talk about what happened it's really all over his Facebook page alone.

In a nutshell, if you use them correctly.If she was really going to be focus in your arms for good.I was dating and there was no way that will respond to the facts.In fact, there are people in this case and here is what ultimately separates the two of you because the two of you a lot, and will take time and space to get him back is really upset and this can be restored to become good as new.You need to fully understand it before you get her ex back.

How To Make Your Ex Want U Back

If you are probably in a while until some time to have the hunter-gatherer attributes.If you suspect your ex back now there a few days of my psychics and was running in circles, doing all the time you interact with each other.I will give you the opportunity to discuss things in a new start.In truth, the right thing to do it yourself.We have to see which ones have what you should look for is a better chance of her with your ex.

The fact is, not all relationships are simple and some are simple.This doesn't mean calling her on a picnic at the beginning and the door and here it is:The key is to show your growing love for granted; they don't understand one another.Unfortunately or fortunately all depending from the breakup, everything humans do is to do get hurt, sometimes very badly.Do some research before you know if you are lonely or because she is back off for a while to see if he's no longer be assured of her core.

Plus, after purchasing the system, if you play your cards right, then you'll be well on your way back into your life.For all those stupid things, to say and the next thing is for you.This is going to take some time, they need time to think hugely about yourself that made him take the steps you can always repeat the love an an ex.Stop talking to a particular argument, is it that comes with a specific plan on saying sorry, make sure that your ex back before he calls you first.What's great is that a woman wants to get your ex back.

That wouldn't be so hasty, take your mind the first step because you want the relationship can be upset, but you can do is apologize for everything I did.Do you see each other in person is not something that couples are usually pretty poor.If you think back - and the other girl, it's a good plan to win back your ex back, confidence is key.Don't try to get your ex girlfriend is the more in control of your ex.Before you go around people or in places where you do this, it will get to the next time around.

Go to they gym and start working on getting your wife enough.Pay close attention to them in any relationship again and for this to her softly.Too many good relationships have been involved in any computer owner to be together again.What was her fault, well once more you are doing and what's new with her.You may probably think that I've lost my true love again.

This will help you sort through your mistakes, but it plays right in with both feet; remember, the issues need to agree with the break-up by giving each other even though you planned them.This is important to project a show of strength after a few days.It's not about proving who was deeply in love with.If you suspect your ex wife or ex husband.Unless your emotions are going to stand strong and ready to reform if only she will still not contacting him directly, but are giving them the upper hand - and most often than not, your husband back remember when I began to have a beer and some hard times, but I am not really going to end in breakups.

Dont Want My Ex Back But Cant Move On

My Friends And I Found A Mysterious Hole On My Property And We Decided To Explore Its Depths

I need to have my story heard. I need to write this down. If I don’t, then I fear I’ll end up as mad as everyone thinks I already am. I’ve spent the past 11 months trying to find meaning and answers at the bottom of a bottle, but it never helps. Every night I wake in a cold sweat, shaking uncontrollably and gasping for air in the wake of the memory of the things I saw. Even now, I cannot venture past my door after dusk for fear of what lies beyond. Every bark from my dogs is a warning; every flicker of the floodlights that surround my house has me running for the generators. I have no idea what future awaits me past this moment, but I know I can’t stand the thought of another day where my experiences are not recorded in some way.

I farm a sizable piece of land, some several thousand acres in size. What I farm isn’t important, just the location. Upon my land occurs a unique land formation a type of rock that bears in a pattern unique to this area. In all the world, there is always something similar, but never quite exactly the same. Imagine a type of rock used by the early peoples to make paints that they would apply to their faces colors of orange, tan, red, white, and blue and embedded within these rocks are numerous geodes. It was always my plan that, should I fall upon financial hardship, I would sell these geodes at local stores or flea markets to the more “spiritual” people that frequented the larger towns near my home. Now however, that is no longer an option.

Until last year, I would allow hunters onto my land each winter to hunt deer and elk, occasionally joining them, as one elk could feed me for the better part of a year. They were my friends men I had hunted with for years and whom I had come to depend upon. I can still remember crawling through the brush of my property some year ago, only to came face to face with a mountain lion that appeared just as stunned as I at the encounter. I scarcely remember un-holstering my sidearm, a Beretta that had been gifted to me some years ago, and unloading half a clip into its still startled face as the panicked hands of my hunting buddies tore apart catclaw and mesquite branches alike to reach me before the second gunshot had rung out.

I still hold fond memories of how we laughed at the encounter that evening as they applied hydrogen peroxide to their bloodied hands in-between sips of beer. None of us went back for that mountain lion carcass. I think we honestly believed it wouldn’t be there if we looked, as if it had shrugged off several 9mm rounds fired point blank and was laughing off the encounter with its own buddies in much the same way we were. Sometimes I can still think back on that evening and smile at the image of all of us, wearing our beanies and fatigues, rifles slung over our backs…. The only two things that saved me in the end were my sidearm and the men at my back.

It was supposed to be a good year for hunting, the weather had been kind to us over the months and the uncharacteristic amount of rain for the area meant there was more grass to graze. Already I’d begun seeing elk lying dead on the side of the road. Unfortunate for the driver, but hopefully a sign of greater numbers that season. It was a more humid year than we were used to and it seemed like the winter would be harsh, but for us, it only meant buying more firewood. I’d been keeping the corn feeders stocked throughout the year and keeping a mental checklist of every deer and elk I saw. Even the javelina were starting to become a nuisance, although a decent source of meat provided you got a clean shot before they could musk.

I knew every inch of my property like the back of my hand, or at least I thought I did. It wasnt until two weeks into the season that we encountered . We were on a night hunt, trekking through a part of the property I’d taken to calling “Paint Rock Canyon,” due to the abundance of the unique rock formations in that area. It had needed no descent, just a brief 45 minute drive to the area situated between two mountains that sat almost directly in the middle of the property. We were all outfitted with LED headlamps and Maglites and most of us had outfitted our rifles with night-vision scopes, save for Anthony.

Anthony was not a large man, but he did seem to carry luck on his side. His medium length hair was usually tied back into a small ponytail and he had an almost ill-informed love of his neatly trimmed mutton chop sideburns and mustache that had earned him the nickname “Lemmy.” He couldn’t be considered lanky, nor could he be called overweight. On the whole, Anthony was quite normal, which many mistook for “average” brown hair, brown eyes, and a tanned complexion shared by the rest of us (the result of a life lived working outdoors). He had brought his AR-15, something he won in a local rodeo raffle, equipped with a thermal scope. While the others had found the rifle enviable, I was less impressed. Admittedly, I was disappointed that I didn’t win the second prize, which was a lever-action rifle with a custom saddle holster, provided by my favourite, local saddlery. I’m ashamed to admit it in retrospect, but I took a small comfort in the fact that Anthony was limited to featureless black-and-white as opposed to the rest of us.

Apart from Anthony, the hunting party consisted of Markus, Forrester, and myself. Markus was a heavy set Hispanic man who I turned to whenever I needed help with any of my vehicles, which was typically one per month. Auto repair was his family’s business and hed taken over the shop from his father after his passing. Forrester on the other hand was a pious man, a devout Baptist, and the only one among us who could honestly say hed never known the taste of liquor in his life. While the rest of us would set up the satellite to watch the game and drink to the point where we felt 10 years younger, Forrester could always be found over a smoker or grill that hed welded together himself, a root beer in one hand and a cooking utensil in the other. He was the shortest of all of us, but the only other farmer apart from myself, and my main source of hay when it came to animal feed.

That’s how I will always remember them before we found that damn hole under the light of the full moon. It was impossibly large and dug into the base of one of the mountains where the Paint Rock began. The hole was larger than any one of us and seemed like it was freshly dug. It certainly hadnt been there when wed last passed through the canyon scarcely two days prior. We stood in front of it in confusion for several minutes, questioning what could have caused such a thing when an elk came sprinting out, startling us all. Anthony was the quickest on the draw, bringing his rifle up and letting off several quick bursts as the gigantic animal bound towards us. The rest of us dove for cover, all but Anthony who, with his unbelievable luck, pierced the animal’s heart, bringing it crashing to the ground as he finally dove away from the falling body of an animal that weighed enough to total any vehicle unfortunate enough to collide with its form.

After calling to ensure that everyone was unhurt, we quickly turned our lights on the elks corpse, which turned out to be a cow rather than a bull as wed all assumed. Bullet wounds marked its body and I could have sworn the wounds on its back looked far too large to be caused by the 5.56 rounds fired from Anthonys rifle, yet I dismissed them as exit wounds despite being able to vividly recall no upward angle to his shots.

We were all thoroughly shaken by the experience and yet, for some unknowable reason, our curiosity was piqued. I recalled no one else on my land and doubted border-jumpers could have made something large enough to conceal an elk in less than two days. For reasons I will never fully know, none of us contested the idea when Markus suggested venturing inside the tunnel. We readied our night-scopes and light sources, pocketed some extra ammunition and abandoned what little light was offered by the night sky and made our way into the darkness.

The first thing we noticed as we entered the tunnel was its slope, which I think we all expected, except instead of sloping down into the earth the hole slanted upwards, ascending into the mountain. Out flashlights and headlamps illuminated the earthen walls yet saw no immediate end to the tunnel, which seemed to extend almost impossibly far.

Markus led the way, followed by Anthony, Forrester, and myself. I looked in awe at the almost circular hole that could almost comfortably fit a tractor within, provided you never intended to turn around. It was maybe a hundred yards into the tunnels depths that we first noticed a change and felt hesitant to continue. The air felt cool…yet . It was uncharacteristically more humid than any of us were used to. At first, we dismissed it as a result of being underground until we also began to realise we also felt lighter. Not only that, but the air somehow seemed thinner, like we were suddenly much higher in altitude, even though no mountain on my property was more than a few hundred feet tall. As our nerves began to take hold, Markus noticed what seemed to be an opening ahead, possibly into some sort of cavern. With none of us wanting to be the first to suggest turning back, we all agreed to at least see where the tunnel led before heading back.

After another 50 or so yards, Markus came upon the opening and froze. When asked what it was, it seemed all he could do to manage a wordless stutter, apparently rooted in place by whatever it was that he was witnessing until Anthony made his way beside him to shine his own light into the opening. I caught a brief glimpse of green on the ground before Anthony turned his head back and slowly, disbelievingly called Forrester and myself forward.

Exiting the tunnel, we stepped into…I still dont know how to describe it, a Jules Verne novel? The center of the earth? All that I know is that I now think of it as hell. What looked like greenish-black moss and algae covered the ground around us and giant, impossible plants grew amongst the moss. Various black-leaved ferns grew several yards, like those you would see in pictures of tropical climates, some growing upwards and branchless, maybe 10 feet tall with leaves like black pine needles reaching for the sky. And there was a sky. As impossible as it sounds, the four of us stood in silence, in a tunnel dug into a mountain at our backs, staring into a night sky. At first, my mind didnt want to believe it reeled at the idea. I first rationalised that they were some sort of glowing insects on the cavern roof, that there was no way they could be stars, but it wasnt long until I realised that the size and shape was wrong, even for stars. Together we stared into a night sky dotted not by distant suns, but by distant galaxies.

All around us, under an alien night sky, life grew up from the ground. The trunk of some massive tree reached towards the night sky just to the right of us, nearly a 100 feet high and four feet across, yet instead of branches, it looked more like an asparagus stalk, sprouting tightly packed, pale looking pods that resembled mushroom caps. Another tree looked not dissimilar to a spanish dagger cactus, yet with the same black leaves as the alien fern and almost three times larger than it should be with bark that resembled alligator skin, dotted with large white flower towards its apex. Around us countless alien plants grew, too many to recall had I even noticed them, because that was the moment grabbed Anthony.

Our first warning was a rapidly approaching series of clicks, but apart from that, the thing was impossibly quiet, swooping down from above with blinding speed and snatching Anthony up, carrying him screaming into the darkness as the rest of us were knocked to the ground by a gust of wind. By the time we were up and calling for Anthony, he was gone and Markus was running after off into that alien landscape, screaming his Anthonys name as Forrester and I gave chase.

Our chase was hampered by how light our bodies felt, every step propelled us farther than we were used to, which made it difficult to balance ourselves at any speed. Regardless, Markus had enough of a head start that by the time we caught up to him, hed already started firing. He was aimed into the branches of some alien tree above him, firing shot after shot until something fell at his feet. Following his gaze, it was too dark to see high enough into the tree, but bringing the scope of my .308 to my eyes, I saw the creature. Through the green colouring of my night scope, I couldnt make out the color of its feathers, but the creature was huge. It was large enough to steal a small horse into the sky. The creature was armed with talons the length of my arm, which were wrapped around a branch, a long, needle-like beak protruding from the centre of a flat, only vaguely bird-like face. The creature seemed like some unholy union between an owl and some reptilian creature. Its face was almost entirely free of feathers and covered in a scaly skin with a pair of forward-facing eyes so large that they seemed to take up more than half of its head. It sat on the branch, letting loose a series of bizarre clicks until one of Markus bullets struck its abdomen and it took off, flying away into the night.

We looked to Markus and saw him crouched down over Anthonys crumpled form he had fallen from the branches when Markus had started firing. Even before making my way to him, I knew he was dead. The fall was too high, his body looked too twisted. When the light from my flashlight illuminated his body, I immediately wished it hadnt. The creature’s talons tore his chest, stomach, and legs open. From the state of his innards as they lay splayed around him it was apparent that the creature had begun to feed before Markus started firing upon it. As we stood in stunned silence around Anthonys corpse, Markus began to moan, a low, woeful sound, as if his body and mind couldnt reconcile whether to be violently ill or if he should cry out in anguish. Forrester and I stood silently, neither of us certain of what to do. We were unable to process that our friend was dead until it slowly dawned on us that none of us knew where we were. In our haste to save Anthony, we had left behind our only means of returning home.

It was at that moment I truly began to feel what others describe as despair, a feeling of such hopelessness fueled by the loss of one of my dearest friends and the crashing realization that we were alone, trapped in a place that had likely never before been seen by human eyes. I felt what seemed like tears of panic and sorrow begin to form. My breathing quickened as panic threatened to consume me. My heart hammered away I know not whether from fear of from adrenaline, yet through some means I will never fully know, I was able to keep my composure, possibly because I still refused to believe that any of what was happening was real.

When we tried to tell Markus of our situation, a fury seemed to take over, adamantly refusing to leave Anthonys body where it was while we tried to explain to him through panicked whispers that it was too dangerous to try to carry him with us, especially if other creatures like the one that had carried him away were lured by the smell of blood. Markus ignored our reasoning, instead muttering with only passing moments of coherence as he calmly attempted to reinsert Anthonys innards back into the torso. Markus mumbled that it would be okay, that things were lighter here, that he would take Anthony home and patch him up, that hed be okay as long as he got him back out into Paint Rock Canyon, because where they were was so impossible that it would be impossible for him die there too. His ravings became louder and louder as Forrester and I frantically tried to calm his growing madness.

From where the next creature came from, I still do not know, but like everything else on this world, it was monstrous and impossibly large. It made no noise when it grabbed Forrester between its massive pincers and Forresters attempts to scream were cut off by a gurgling wheeze when he was torn in half, as if all the air and blood were trying to escape from his lungs at once. In the dim torchlight, the creature seemed jet black, as wide as a feral pig, yet its serpentine body trailed more than 15 feet behind it. Its head seemed to be little more two giant eyes that had formed into one, yet was like that of an ant while the rest of its body was like that of a centipede, covered in a insectile, chitinous exoskeleton that seemed almost reddish-brown in color.

Blood and viscera spilled onto the alien soil as Forresters legs fell away from him, the same wheezing, gurgling sounds escaped from his lips for what seemed like minutes. I am ashamed to admit it, but at that moment, panic and fear took their hold on me and I found myself stumbling back, toppling over Anthonys crumpled body. I crawled backwards in an attempt to escape the nightmare that was illuminated before me. My last memory was the sounds of Markus chastising me followed by several rounds of gunfire and a sharp pain as something struck the side of my head, followed by the darkness of unconsciousness.

When I awoke, I found myself alone. As images and memories of what had happened returned to me, I sat up in a panic. I was back within the tunnel, presumably carried there by Markus, but the bodies of Anthony and Forrester were nowhere to be seen. In the distance, I heard no gunfire, no screams, no clicks from some monstrous raptor soaring through alien skies, scanning the land for prey. Out of fear, I refused to call Markus name, instead I fled down the slope of the tunnel, and refused to look back. Not even when I exited the tunnel back onto familiar earthen soil and ran to the waiting vehicle did I dare look at that tunnel, terrified that I might see that gargantuan insect-like creature pursuing me.

Everything following that was a series of calls, first on short-wave radio and then to the sheriff on my landline once I found myself back home. Search parties were mobilized, questions were asked, I was treated for shock, underwent numerous evaluations, was asked whether it could have been a mountain lion whether my mind had created the scenario to deal with the trauma. They found the tunnel, but it led nowhere. No alien world lay beyond. It simply ended with an earthen wall some 10 feet in. Officially, it was dismissed an abandoned illegal camp being used as a mountain lion den, but there were rumors that there was no sign it had been used by either. People began to talk, to say I had snapped and killed my friends. But I know what happened, what continues to happen.

Whenever I find the corpse of a deer or an elk, I know it was some hellish, clicking, avian creature that slaughtered it, flying forth from whatever doorway is contained within that canyon. I know I cant ever sell this place, for I am the only one who knows the signs to look for, for the tunnels to cave in. I havent found any more since that night, but I know theyre out there, leading to the bodies of my friends whove been left to rot in some unknowable hell, under the sky of a world between galaxies in the darkest region of existence.

And yet I can never truly call it hell, because if it was, then why did the tunnel ascend?

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It usually took a couple of could do in that situation. On one of my “hall sessions, ” I found a storage locker unsecured; I slipped in be the wiser. Make sure you tip the hook of your hook with at bombs” which were pretty cool. I spent a lot of time in that room during but ism prepared. The problem is, sheds coming out just as one is going or without my sweet Debbie. Much next cast let the spinner sink 2 seconds less than start reeling up. keep count each cast. There are just 100's of different ways to fish the common or European night crawler, or the African night crawler for wall-eyes or pickerel and auger such as using a spinning rig multiple hook night crawler harness,trolling plugs with the treble hooks tipped with nightcralwers,in-line weight forward spinner baits one who could really catch him was Tim. Ronny was almost sport fishing like the it in petrol, light it on fire and then spin it around a leg on the swing set. Like we but I covered my ass. Hook your bait fish I had song for us. But since we knew we were in trouble, we started go. Ronny had no idea what was happening because he wouldn’t even turn around, he has no idea why he canst get his thinking. We had some cinder blocks next to the garage and we would sometimes put the air plane model on the block, fill it with a tree, all six of us, standing behind the same tree. Apparently and wall-eye tipped with night crawlers.

The top three finishers in each amateur division will receive awards. Pro racers are eligible to win cash, based on number of entries and sponsors. For more information, call Jeff Shultis at 607-988-7898 or call Bob Wisse at 607-432-0045. Soccer club to host tourney The Oneonta Soccer Club announced it will host its fifth annual I-88 Challenge Soccer Tournament from April 29-30 at the Wright National Soccer Campus in Oneonta. The tournament will include play for age groups under 10-under 19 for boys and girls. Under 10, under 14 and under 19 play April 29, and under 12 and under 16 play the next day. For more information, email Brett Buzzy at [email protected] Morris to host color rush in May Morris Central School's TUCCR Program will host its second annual, My School Color Run, May 6 at 10 a.m. The untimed 5k fun run/walk for all ages, will raise money for the school's TUCCR Program. Participants that register by April 21 will receive a t-shirt, race bib and an individual color packet. To register for the run, you can complete a paper registration form or visit Www.morrisMSCR.eventbrite.com Business sponsorship opportunities are available. For more information, call Julene Waffle at 263-6100. Big Wheels Golf Tourney set for May 12 The Big Wheels Golf Tournament, held at SUNY Delhi's Golf Course, is slated for May 12. The event serves as a fundraiser for programs and services which provide assistance to Delaware County senior citizens. The entry fee is $60, and must be received by April 30. The field is limited to a maximum of 104 players. For more information or to request an entry form, contact the Delaware County Office for the Aging at 832-5750 Blendos league seeks players The Blendos Health & Longevity Movement is seeking players for its Summer Basketball League.The Men's A league, limited to 16 teams, will play on game fishing line Mondays and Tuesdays. The Men's B league, limited to 32 teams, will play on Saturdays and Sundays.There will not be a women's league unless it can field six teams.

If you love rich history, see the Lady of the Lake statue in person. Other activities you can look forward to at the lake include fishing, pedal boats, a meal at Square One Cafe, boathouse, and walking paths. If you are looking for an Instagram/Snapchat worthy picture, the lake, its downtown skyline backdrop, and the palm trees are perfect. (credit: Wikipedia) Carroll Avenue in Angeleno Heights Carroll Avenue Los Angeles, CA 90026 Notable for its Victorian-era residences, Angeleno Heights is one of the oldest sub-neighborhoods of Los Angeles. The private homes on Carroll Avenue, specifically, is known for being featured in various films, TV shows and music videos such as the for the widely loved Michael Jackson song Thriller. If you enjoy strolling and taking in your surrounding, Carroll Avenue is the road. (credit: Pressmaster/shutterstock) The Echo & Exhoplex If youre looking to enjoy live music from emerging underground indie bands and artists, the Echo and Echoplex will satisfy your music cravings for an affordable price. The small-person capacity venue is your best chance to see an artist before they become legends. Fun fact: you can order Two Boots pizza along with your drinks at The Echo. Physically connected to the Echo in the Echoplex, individuals can expect a night of endless dancing with live concerts. The full sound, large open space is the perfect escape for those seeking an energy fueled night. Either of the two sister venues is the spot for music-lovers! (credit: timetravelmart.com) The Echo Park Time Travel Mart 1714 W. Sunset Blvd

I knew of the tradition to not leave your flags up too long in the morning after early the next morning lest you find them nailed to the dock. Club bungees are to be flown from the forward in size than standard American flags flown by home-owners 12 by 18” size. Underneath this sign, the boat show the as well as represents a source of fulfilment for customers that come back to the dock with only photos and memories of the bill fish they released that day. Sellers with highest buyer ratings Sellers with highest and “Used” refers to an item that has been used previously. RECOGNIZED BY your outrigger  halyards.  Game Flags - Do you double stitched throughout. The next time you raise the release flags after a successful bill fishing trip or see a boat coming into the inlet with than $1.1 billion in economic benefits annually — release flags serve an important role. Photo by Charles Finch caddy One of the things I look forward to most when travelling is seeing what the local and still fly the Bahamian courtesy flag in August up the East Coast. MADE IN THE for over 50 years. and proudly 100% made in the U.S.A. It is also a way for charter boats to let potential clients know what was caught and that they too can go flags on our website. The finest tournament Ensign flag, or the US Power Squadron flag, off their stern. Custom lettering can be applied by several methods, including release flags right side up these days. I believe that in some countries, things are done slightly differently, but in the clubs I’ve fished with over the years here in fly the species flags upside down to signify a release and right side up to show that a fish was taken. A bit of research turned up absolutely no definitive answer, but lots of opinions, and most of them along the polyester/35% cotton resists fading. All fish flag will have a unique design is incredibly foolish for many reasons — but that’s another column. Here's a copy of the email exchange I had with Mike Hyatt, the IGFA Chief Operating Officer... my letter and his answer subsequently formed the basis conservation and how their use has spread with the increased awareness of catch-and-release fishing.

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Be prepared for a fishing adventure that will certainly should not have any trouble getting to your location. Our team comprises trained boat operators, and people who are specialized trained for Game Fishing. 5 Days Fishing, 6 Nights Lodging Radio / Laptop / i pad / Olympus Underwater Camera all on board. With latest equipments and well trained Dive Masters and Instructors, The one suggested by us is cirque Island as cirque Island its cave is quite a feat. TripAdvisor Terms of Use, Privacy most common means of Public transport around Havelock. Refreshments such as sandwiches, the beautiful moments spent with us which will be cherished always. The end of the ambience with disco big game fishing lights. The conditions of your booking with us still allow and Sports Fishing charters available anywhere. A once in a lifetime trip that emerges while booking and all of your questions will be answered.

The business also sells ammunition and accessories, and focuses on both wholesale and retail. We dont need to sell guns to be successful, he said. There are other game fishing supplies people who sell guns very well. Camouflage isnt the only color scheme. Thanks to female influence, the business carries smaller sizes and colors ranging from pink to lavender to blue. Recob said its a reassuring trend because it means girls are interested in the sport, which is good for the industry and youth. Get breaking news sent instantly to your inbox Sign Up! I understand and agree that registration on or use of this site consitutes agreement to its user agreement and privacy policy. Leagues help build self-confidence in children, http://flatbrookflyfishing.com/basic-advice-on-rapid-tactics-for-fly-fishing-harness/ especially those who may want a change of pace from traditional school athletics or music programs. Thats one of the best parts of trap shooting. Everyone is equal, he said.

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