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astarion-obsessions · 7 months

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Hold on, there is something I thought about. When Astarion approached Tav with "all his favourite lines" of flattery, leading to fake confessing his love to them, I was genuinely hurt to see that he would play with Tav's feelings like that, just for the sake of entertainment.

But now that their relationship progressed and Astarion actually confessed that he developed feelings for Tav, but still claims to not know how he would define their relationship, I get the feeling that he made the choice to fake confess beforehand for another reason than entertainment or seduction altogether. Hear me out.

Why does Astarion fake confess his love to Tav?

When I get a scene with Astarion, I always reload a thousand times to try out all the routes and see all his reactions, so what I'm about to break down will be no less than heartbreaking.

First let's take a look at what Astarion has to say. He starts the conversation with a clear goal in mind: he wants to seduce us again and he says so right away. He continues with very openly displaying his skills at charming people with honeyed words, seemingly enjoying himself while doing so. But what we have to keep in mind is that he's done that thousands and thousands of times already. I think it's safe to assume that he's perfected this mask of a smug, flirtatious man enjoying all this debauchery.

But after giving us one suggestive line after another, he does something that does not match the tone of the conversation so far: his fake love confession. I mean, just look at him.

He goes from completely exaggerated facial expressions and gestures:

When I'm with you, I feel practically alive, yet I crave only to die again with you.

To this:

I love you

We get a closeup of his face and see that he gets serious all of a sudden despite the fact that the conversation has been all fun and flirty just a moment ago. He draws his brows together, tells Tav "I love you" and then just looks at us with this serious and almost sad expression. Completely different from before when he was just toying around.

And yes, I just said he's very practiced in playing pretend, but just the difference between shallow and cheesy lines about craving to die together and their perfect body whispering temptation in contrast to a simple "I love you" and then on top of that the difference on how he conveys it - for me it just doesn't fit together, this isn’t Astarion pretending. And furthermore he gains nothing from adding this confession. The flirty lines would have been enough to seduce Tav once again and therefore ensure their attachment to him, so that his protection is granted. And that is all he wants, at least in the beginning.

But then, why would he voice this fake confession in the first place? And that's where my theory sets in. I don't think he would risk the trouble of getting more feelings involved than necessary in his "nice simple plan" - seducing Tav, sleeping with them, manipulating their feelings. For doing so, he simply wouldn't need a love confession.

With saying "How about I say those little words. Everyone's favourite" he already suggests that he's said them to a lot of people already. And this surely is a way to charm and seduce people very fast, but with Tav he doesn't need to rush. They're tied together for an indefinite amount of time, he doesn't need to seduce them in a matter of hours or days before serving them to his master. And he's already seduced Tav successfully before, so my guess is this:

My explanation for the fake confession

The real confession scene, where he admits to having started to genuinely feel something for Tav, came a bit out of nowhere for me. (And don't get me started with our options to react to his real confession. I talked about that here.) I don’t think he would just willingly tell Tav that he's grown fond of them, when a few nights before he threw the fake confession their way without giving a damn about Tav's feelings - that just felt very out of character for him in my opinion.

But what if he started to fall in love with Tav even before the fake confession? Think about it, he has slept with Tav once - successfully seduced - so all he has to do is sustain this kind of relationship. Saying all his favourite lines at Tav and trying to get them to sleep with each other for a second time would have been just that - sustaining the relationship at present. But then he says "I love you". And I say he does so purposefully. It's a test. Having someone like you enough to sleep with you is one thing. Having deep and complex feelings like love involved is something else entirely. So he tests the waters with this confession. He hides behind all of these flirtatious lines and places the confession at their end to throw a veil over its real meaning.

It may be a lie either way - saying it just for entertainment or saying it to see if Tav is open for deeper feelings - but I think he exaggerates on purpose to trigger a reaction that speaks for itself. Does Tav care about these words? Is Tav hurt to see that Astarion is apparently willing to play with their feelings like this? Or do they not care about such vanities?

I want to emphasise the fact that Astarion hasn't had the luxury to allow himself anything resembling these kinds of feelings for at least two centuries. Naturally, he would not just come around and open up his heart to Tav when all he's done until then was charming them just for his plan. He would want to reassure himself that this wouldn't turn against him if he dares to show such great vulnerability in front of anyone. He says it himself when he properly confesses that it is intimidating for him to make decisions on his own again. And confessing his feelings is exactly one of those intimidating decisions.

Interpreting Astarion's reaction

To back up my take I want to take a closer look at Astarion's reaction when we reject him after the fake confession. After he laughs the confession off in one way or the other, he insists on having sex with you again. Here he sticks to exaggerated facial expressions and gestures, just like before with his honeyed words.

Now, as much as I relish standing around and saying all my favourite lines at you, I’d much rather we got to experience each others’ full portfolio of talents once again.

But if Tav then turns him down with saying “I don’t think I really want this”, this is his immediate reaction:

Well, well, excuse me while I die of a broken heart.

He takes a few seconds to process what Tav said, and then instantly responds with another exaggeration accompanied by fitting gesticulation, ending with a fake smile. After that he just looks at Tav for another few seconds and his demeanor changes again:

In all honesty, it's a shame. That time was special to me. I've gotten on my back ten thousand times or more, and forgotten half of them.

He loses his fake smile, averts his gaze and starts fumbling with his hands nervously. He can't hide his disappointment, but he tries to keep his face neutral - even if it doesn't work all too well. He tells us we were special before giving us a scrunched fake smile once again. It's really hard to watch…

But you… you I'll remember.

For usually being rather quick to react and respond, we can see how difficult it is for him to react to Tav in this case.

Have a fine evening, dear.

He pauses yet again, lifts his gaze to the sky and just looks so lost. Mere moments ago he was flirting and laughing, and now he seems so utterly desperate. And then, he can't even keep up his attempts of masking his sadness when his expression slips in the end and his face scrunches painfully for just a second before the whole scene ends. This really broke my heart.

Conclusion

This is definitely not the reaction of someone who was turned down for just another round of sex - even if this meant that Astarion's plan of assuring his safety didn't work out. Because then he could have just tried to get Tav to change their mind with another one of his favourite lines. Or he would have at least reacted like he does when you tell him to stay at the camp ("Oh darling, I'm hurt" which he obviously isn't). But he doesn't.

Because this is the reaction of someone who dared to get his hopes up. Someone who thought that maybe, just maybe, these unwanted, complicated feelings for Tav which had slowly crept up, nullifying his nice simple plan, could genuinely lead to a relationship he didn't know he needed so desperately. Someone who is so devastated by a rejection at this point, that he doesn't even question it. He just accepts that Tav isn't interested in sleeping with him, let alone having feelings beyond sexual desire. It's just as it always has been. It's not as if Astarion remembers anyone caring about him, so why should it be different this time…

And that's why I think this whole fake love confession was a way for Astarion to veil his growing feelings for Tav under the pretence of flirting, and had the purpose to find out if he could more or less safely confess his true feelings to Tav.

Gods, this is so heartbreaking. I need to pat Astarion's fluffy head in my dreams as a redemption.

#astarion #bg3 #bg3 astarion #baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 astarion #astarion romance #astarion romance spoilers #astarion meta #bg3 meta #bg3 spoilers #astarion x tav #astarion analysis

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eledritch · 7 months

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i just noticed that astarion has potted plants next to his tent and now i can't stop thinking about post-game (not ascended) astarion with a greenhouse full of plants...he can't ever see them in the sun, but he tends to them at night and asks them how the sunshine felt that day, and sometimes when he visits them just after sunset, he can still feel the warmth on their leaves, and in the ceramic of their pots.

he thinks it's incredibly silly and he would never tell anyone any of this, except maybe Tav, and even then he would downplay how much he loves those stupid plants and their stupid photosynthesis, but gods, he does love them.

it feels good to make other beings grow and thrive instead of wither and die, for once.

#astarion #astarion meta #bg3 #yeah i got emo about pixelated plants what're u gonna do about it

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kingthunder · 12 days

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Astarion is afraid: "He is so afraid. So, so afraid. Of everyone, besides you, who he ought to fear most." -Sceleritas Fel, about Astarion

"He is afraid. He is afraid because all he has ever known is you and me, and without us he is nothing." -Cazador Szarr, about Astarion

He wants to be safe: "I'd see how to safely keep the powers this mind flayer's worm has given me." - Astarion, wishing on the magic mirror

"I'm doing this for you, too, you know. To make sure we're both safe. Forever, for good." -Astarion, to romanced player, about Ascending

"You are safe. The winds of fate blow you to the warmest of hearths in the most cordial of inns. Your seething passions lead only to pleasure. The touch of the sun comforts your flesh, but never burns it." -Naoise Nallinto, giving Astarion a vision of his deepest desire, safety

He gets his wish: "You were patient. You cared. I feel safe with you. Seen." -Astarion, confessing his love

"This little adventure of ours has taught me that we can't let our lives be ruled by fear. Or else we never really live. I'm not afraid. Not of you, not of your darkness, and not of our future." - Astarion, to romanced Durge

#bg3 #astarion #astarion meta

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snowfolly · 7 months

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Sometimes I think about Astarion’s (10) charisma and it makes me so sad because (as a person not blessed with any sort of natural charisma whatsoever) I know how tiring and stressful it is to ‘switch on’ and play along to seem charming and make conversation with strangers in real life situations. It’s incredibly mentally draining (which in turn is physically exhausting) and Astarion has had to do this every night for 200 years.

200 years.

Putting on a mask and turning on charm-mode with strangers a handful of times a month (along with liquid courage to help) is bad enough… but every single night for 2 centuries?

He was a magistrate and definitely had the skills to deal with people, but that doesn’t mean that he had to be pleasant to them. In fact he was likely a harsh judge (going by the screenshot from Act 3 below, as well as his sentencing of the Gur which essentially got him ‘killed’), and due to some of the things he says he was likely an asshole whilst doing the judging, and possibly an insufferable asshole at that. (For example, referring to Gur people in derogatory terms in general, how he dismisses the lives of the captured gnomes in Grymforge but held the Drow (Nere’s) life in esteem etc.) (Also to be clear, none of his past remotely warrants what happens to him)

[Astarion: Mercy? Please - justice should be a harsh lesson. All the better to deter the next vagabond.]

With this lack of people pleasing skills I can only imagine how Cazador (or fucking Godey) would have tortured him for not being alluring enough when he’s first learning to navigate the absolute horror story of a reality he’d found himself thrown into. Cazador very likely didn’t choose him to be a spawn for his charisma, he chose Astarion for his looks alone and then proceeded to punish him for not having the personality to charm people efficiently, for not being agreeable or enchanting enough to garner a victim's trust to lure them back to the palace.

I think about how he would say the lines that he (very quickly) had to learn of what people wanted to hear over and over in his head, picturing how he should act, when to smile and laugh, where to touch a hand or arm when appropriate and ultimately how to use himself for seduction as he laid on the cold stone floors in the dirty kennel, staring at the dark ceiling, his new vampiric hunger insatiable as he was being starved, beaten, belittled. Hopeless.

And so he did learn, because his survival depended on it.

He survived for 200 years.

I think about all of this a lot.

#just me rambling in the night #I always get so sad when I think of his past #poor little star #astarion #astarion thoughts #astarion meta #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 spoilers #cazador szarr #long post #abuse #snowyrambles

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glitteryinknotes · 6 months

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Have you ever thought about how much of Astarion's appeal and charisma comes from Neil Newbon (his voice actor, if anyone in the community somehow doesn't know it) himself?

I think the latest find of the Baldurian community is discovering what happens after you find & approach Petras without Astarion in the team - he obviously tries to seduce you and lure you into Cazadorr's palace, repeating almost the same lines Astarion throws at Tav in the first act.

And he's so terrible at it. Like, you immediately feel something's off. Anyone with half a brain would immediately be alarmed.

It's got me thinking.

Of course Astarion's ultimate goal, as we meet him, is different - he's not trying to lead you astray at his master's command, but secure support from someone he's come to see as a powerful ally - but we still perceive him differently than this other attractive obscene seducer.

We all know Astarion is beautiful and a sexy vampire, tralalalala. Cazadorr picked his spawn all too well - none of his later slaves were as masterful "creations" as his first one. But don't forget that 100% intentional 10 charisma skill. Astarion's confident, cheeky, smooth - tongued, arogant, perfectly put together, way, way more attractive than his vampiric "siblings", he just has that special, intoxicating "something", but by right - he should not, by any means, be as charismatic as he is. We all know his terrible pick up lines, we all know how dorky and childish he can be when caught off-guard, we are aware just how borderline close to "cringe and desperate" his flirting techniques are, in the greater picture.

Yet we swoon over him because somehow this shtick works - through the sweet charisma he's technically supposed not to really have.

Where does it come from then? From Neil.

If you've ever watched any of Neil's streams, you'll quickly notice how much of a driven, confident and charismatic person he is. All in good taste, without ever coming across as full of himself. A genuinely amazing, passionate, incredibly talented and accomplished, but still kind and generous, beautiful human being. And all of those qualities - the best, healthiest kind of charisma - transfer to Astarion through the top - notch voice acting.

Imagine for a second what might have been if Astarion was voiced by someone still incredibly talented, with a great and fitting voice, but simply slightly less charismatic, a different kind of personality breathing life into him in the recording booth and in motion capture. Would we still get the same kind of character we've all come to adore so much? Would he be as convincing?

I don't have an answer to that - just something to ponder.

But I think that's also proof that some characters require an actor who becomes irreplacable in the role, just that one specific, one-of-a-kind type of person who will bring them to life exactly as they're meant to be. And we're so lucky Larian found Neil for Astarion, and Astarion found Neil.

#baldur's gate astarion #astarion #baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 astarion #baldurs gate astarion #bg3 #bg3 astarion #astarion bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #astarion meta #baldur's gate 3 meta #baldur's gate 3 neil newbon #neil newbon

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graveyard-cuddles · 2 months

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I'm thinking about Astarion again and how actually amazing it is that he managed to hold onto as much of himself as he did after having had everything about his identity and sense of self systematically stripped away from him. And how it's even more incredible he managed to do so without even getting to look at himself at all in all that time.

We know his trauma cut him off from his ability to trance and therefore his ability to recall memories from before he was turned. What must it be like to have nothing? Not even happy memories to look back on? A spawn. A dead thing to be used as his master sees fit. Tortured by Cazador and Godey. Starved to the point of constant hunger pain. Forced to use his body and sexuality to seduce people who sometimes not only disgusted him but who would sometimes even hurt him...AND through all of this, this whole nightmare, he can't even see his own face. Even his own perception of himself is stolen from him.

I've gone through some horribly low points in life. Points where I've felt like I was literally losing my mind or about to end it all. And sometimes in those moments, I just had to stare at myself in the mirror, look myself in the eye and literally talk myself down. There have been times where my mental state was so bad and my perception of reality so warped I HAD to look at my own reflection in the mirror to remind myself I was still real.

Astarion remembers so little of his face that he can't remember if he ever had a mole on his cheek or not. He can't remember the color of his own EYES. For as much as fans talk about the angst of him not being able to remember his own eyes I don't know if any of us could even imagine forgetting oneself so completely that such a defining physical characteristic is lost to memory. It's difficult to imagine as beings with limited lifespans. And imagine the added torment of being forced to use your looks to survive all while never being able to actually see yourself. (This is why I can't help but feel a bit annoyed when people say things like "Well it's a GOOD thing he can't see himself, can you imagine how annoying he would be?" Like sorry you find 'petty vanity' annoying, it still doesn't mean he deserved to have his sense of self-perception stripped away).

So much of him was killed in the process over those two hundred years of abuse and neglect in order to survive. I think it's fair to say Astarion likely wasn't a saint before he was turned by Cazador but we do know at one point there WAS a kind, sympathetic part of himself that took pity on that young man he spared. A part that I'm sure had to be killed in order for Astarion to survive and remain sane. And in ALL that time there was never once any moment where he could look at himself in the mirror and tell himself that he was still himself.

He lost everything, even the memory of his own eye color. But he wouldn't allow himself to be lost completely. He still talked back. Still screamed the loudest when tortured. Still held onto his anger, his rage his burning desire for revenge. And when he gets the opportunity to take his freedom he fucking LEAPS for it. He is so bound and determined to STAY free once he is free he would literally rather die than go back to Cazador. He's a survivor above all else and I love him so much.

#bg3 #astarion #astarion ancunin #astarion meta

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myers-meadow · 2 months

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Something about how readily Astarion calls Tav 'his favourite' is heartbreaking.

When under Cazador's thumb, he never was the favourite. He didn't get to stay in the nice bedroom, or have his hunger sated. He always had to fight for every crumb he got, even amongst the other spawn. All those 200 years he spent wishing to be the favourite, to not have to fight so hard, to have space to breathe, to have that position over others... Sure, he wished for freedom and revenge too, but I imagine that felt much too far away.

So now he assures Tav that they are his favourite, time and again... Because in his mind, how else would they know they're special to him, that they don't have to worry or suffer the way he did?

It's sad how deep his past still affects him, even if he's killed Cazador.

#Astarion #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 spoilers #baldurs gate #Astarion Meta #Astarion ancunin #Astarion spoilers #astarion romance #astarion bg3

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shadowstarion · 2 months

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i see a lot of talk about astarion not actually fitting into the roles people in the fandom put on him, and i definitely think that’s right! minthara is the leather-clad bad boy type, wyll is the romantic prince charming, halsin is the tender sex god, gortash is the hate-to-love-him sexy antagonist, so on and so on.

but i think that’s entirely what makes astarion and his characterization, especially early game, so interesting. before he opens up and we really get to know him, astarion CAN be all of those things. he pins you down at knifepoint, woos you with sweet talk, feeds from you then fucks you to show his gratitude, reveals his shady past full of atrocities and torment.

we have to prove to him that we don’t want the bad boy, the prince, the sex god, the villain— we have to show him that we want astarion, wholly and entirely, whatever that may be. of course, after 200 years, those masks aren’t easy to strip away. so what we get is a combination of all of the above; he’s a bit devious toward everyone but us, he calls us darling and so many other sweet, precious things, he’s eventually able to make love to us in a way that’s so beautifully intimate, he still has that bit of danger and brutality that keeps us glad he’s on our side.

astarion is learning who he is just as much as we are, and when he can’t figure it out? it’s up to us to guide him, to choose what traits and behaviors to encourage, to help him form the identity and sense of self he’s been so deprived of. in a spawn ending, that ends up being a sweet, still-healing man experiencing love and basking it for the first time, led by our gentle hand and unconditional love for him.

in an ascended ending…? his ascension and the way he acts afterwards are directly our fault moreso than his. that ending reveals what astarion truly is more than anything else— a reflection of what he thinks we wanted him to be, what we supported, what we loved. if we lead him to believe that we wanted the bad boy, the brat prince, the rough addictive sex, the villain we can never escape, that’s exactly what we’ll get.

#astarion #bg3 #astarion meta #astarion headcanons #ascended astarion #spawn astarion #writing

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dragon--sage · 3 months

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okay i know astarion can potentially drain the mc to the point of death if they allow him to drink from them... BUT the persuasion check they have to pass to convince astarion to stop is only 5.

yeah it's higher than say a 2 but i still think this number is CRAZY LOW for a vampiric spawn who has been starved for centuries and has subsisted solely on the blood of vermin ever since he was turned. like this was his FIRST drink of PEOPLE blood, and all mc has to do basically is ask him nicely to stop. sorry to the people who failed the check OBVIOUSLY and this isn't saying it's not fucked up that he killed some of y'all (or that i wouldn't be annoyed if i ever fail and he kills my mc lmao). i'm just saying.. it's a REALLY low number for someone who's been starved and abused for so long, and is driven out of their mind w/ painful cravings every second of the day.

honestly i feel like it speaks to the little crack in astarion's emotional armor, and the tiny kernel of goodness beneath it that cazador couldn't crush.

#astarion #cazador #astarion meta #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 spoilers #the pale elf has me in a CHOKEHOLD

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syn0vial · 7 months

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thinking about how you'll gain approval with astarion if you let the goblins slaughter the tieflings, but he'll be more tense/nervous during the subsequent romance scene and will even try to sneak away in the middle of the night instead of staying with you until morning like he does if you save the tieflings instead.

also thinking about how he'll disapprove in act II if you choose to defend isobel, even though not doing so leads to everyone in the inn turning undead and trying to kill you, losing your parties several key allies in the process.

and thinking about how astarion encourages you at multiple points to seize control over the netherbrain and become the absolute, but if you actually go through with it, astarion becomes your thrall along with the rest of the party. and, if you followed his approval in your previous choices as well, there will be no good-aligned non-thrall allies left alive to save him.

completely unknowingly, astarion will encourage decisions that will inevitably place him into the same shitty situation he was in before he was freed by mindflayers: as the mind-controlled thrall of a violent, power-hungry tyrant

#your portrait is in the dictionary‚ astarion #right next to the entry for ''self-sabotage''#astarion #astarion meta #baldur's gate 3

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wingsy-keeper-of-songs · 1 month

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Sometimes I think people need a few more lessons in media literacy before they engage with something that deals with sexual trauma/abuse. I see takes like "wait, did Cazador actually sexually abuse Astarion and the other spawn? Omg it's just so ambiguous idk!"

My guy. My dude. My brother in Lathander. What the fuck do you think the line "he said my screams sounded sweetest" meant?

#i mean i can understand that some nuance flies over some heads #especially if they aren't victims themselves or if they've never watched a single episode of Law and Order SVU #but for fucks sake #its spelled out for you right there #Cazador has a rape room for fuck's sakes #like how much more evidence of 'he also abused his spawn' do you need?#bg3 #astarion meta #cazador

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astarion-obsessions · 6 months

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I think not enough people understand that Astarion doesn't want you to be his main or only source of blood. This even stands in direct contrast to what he really wants to achieve with biting Tav. Let me explain.

Why Astarion doesn't want you to be his blood bag

Let me start with explaining how I approached this topic. First of all, when I triggered the bite scene in my playthrough, I obviously let Astarion drink from my Tav. But then I got curious. What happens when I don't stop him? He's said I could trust him just a moment ago, didn't he? So I did just that, I trusted him literally with my life.

Aaaand... he killed me. Well. What did I expect from a vampire, really. But that he actually drained me dry broke my heart. I really wanted to trust him, to reach out and show him that I didn't judge him for what he was and so on. I was really disappointed in him and couldn't quite grasp why he would do this. Was it a conscious decision? Did he lose control? Surely he would apologise and explain everything to me once someone resurrected me, returning the trust I was giving him the night prior, right?... right?

Of course not. The dialogue after him killing Tav was... at least as disappointing as him killing Tav in the first place. He shows his usual attitude, apologises half-heartedly and then just keeps going on with talking about draining the occasional bandit. He even snaps when you mention the topic of him feeding after that with something like "I already apologised, what more do you want?".

There's no real regret, no emotions. He simply doesn't care.

We know that he didn't care in the beginning, he tells us as much when he confesses his unwanted, growing feelings towards Tav in act 2. But still the whole bite scene didn't sit right with me until…

The Nightmare

I randomly stumbled upon a clip of Astarion having a nightmare, so I researched about it and even started an Astarion run to experience it myself. So, if you play as Astarion, at the second long rest of act 1 he has a nightmare about Cazador, in which he recites the rules that defined how Astarion and the other spawn had to live:

First, thou shalt not drink of the blood of thinking creatures.

Second, thou shalt obey me in all things.

Third, thou shalt not leave my side unless directed.

Fourth, thou shalt know that thou art mine.

However Astarion reacts to this dream, he jolts awake afterwards and instinctively panics that he needs to find a way back to his master as soon as possible. His eyes set on his companions, who are sleeping / meditating peacefully around the fire, and then a thought passes his mind.

He could try to break one of Cazador's rules right then and there. He's able to stand in the sun, to bathe in running water, so maybe…

And that's why he decides to bite a companion. Astarion wakes up utterly terrified of what his master will do to him if he doesn't return to him in an instant - and he knows all too well what kind of horrors would await him if he so much as dares to think about rebelling again (read about that here) - so he is in desperate need of confirmation that he is now able to withstand and actively break the rules that have dominated his life for two centuries.

He needs to know that he is able to drink the blood of a thinking creature. And there they are. His clueless companions served on a silver platter. It's like an invitation to him, to test his boundaries. And who would be more fitting than the good hearted leader of the party Astarion wanted to (or already has) seduce(d) anyway?

This piece of information shed a whole new light on the bite scene. But let's look a bit closer at that.

The Bite Night

The very first thing Tav registers about what's going on with Astarion that night is him baring his fangs right above us, about to sink them into our flesh. He pulls back as soon as we open our eyes, retreating immediately until there's a safe distance between him and Tav.

This may be the first time Tav gets to know that Astarion is a vampire, so he gets defensive and tells us that he's never killed a person for food, only animals. But then, instead of letting the idea of feeding on Tav go, he insists that animals aren't enough.

But it's not enough. Not if I have to fight. I feel so weak.

If I just had a little blood, I could think clearer. Fight better. Please.

Then he goes on, literally pleading to get what he wants while putting on a sad expression in the end, even averting his gaze.

And if we now have in mind that he just woke up from a nightmare about Cazador, feeling powerless and in desperate need of even a glimpse of hope that he might escape Cazador's cruel grip, his lines make a lot of sense. He's veiling the truth, of course, but not all of what he says is a lie.

He indeed feels weak - powerless in fact - so drinking Tav's blood (the blood of a thinking creature) could prove that he may have regained a bit of power over himself, which had been exclusively reserved for Cazador the last 200 years. This would absolutely make him feel stronger, more confident than he's felt for a long, long time.

And he indeed could think clearer after tasting Tav's blood, because this would bring clarity to the question if he is now able to break Cazador's rules on purpose and therefore give him information to work with when he needs to think about what to do next.

Right after this, we get the chance to push into Astarion's mind, and if we do this, we can see what he thinks about.

His mind opens up, revealing cracked and quivering memories. At their heart, you see dark eyes, commanding you to feed.

You open your mouth and bite down. Not into a tender neck, but in the twisting body of a rat - the only thing your master lets you eat.

He recalls the memory of how his master used to force him to eat disgusting vermin. As his memory is told, we can clearly see how deeply this affects him, for he can't keep up his walls of defensiveness and detachment. They just crack, crumble and reveal his misery clearly for Tav to observe. When we ask him about it directly afterwards, he first seems to search for a way out - a witty remark, anything - but gives up almost immediately. And he looks and sounds just completely defeated and tired, confirming what Tav just saw in his mind.

He goes on with talking about trust. I think here he's seeing a chance to gain Tav's sympathy. If he already reveals such delicate information about his past, he can as well make use of it. So he appeals to Tav's understanding, offering us that this past is the reason for him only trusting Tav slowly. But then he immediately adds that now he trusts Tav, and that in return Tav can trust him, too.

What he does here is displaying himself as pitiful, gaining Tav's sympathy, then seemingly going out of his way and saying that despite all he does trust Tav, which puts Tav in the position to follow suit with returning the trust… which Astarion definitely lied about on his part. But that's what he does. Manipulating.

If we then respond with "You tried to bite me. How can I trust you?" instead of assuring us of his trustworthiness with more manipulation, he gets frustrated.

Because we don't have a choice! Not if we're going to save ourselves from these worms.

But he goes on with masking his reasons, even if he gave us a hint right in the beginning of act 1 when we picked him up, where he said that he would rather control the tadpole instead of removing it. If we play as Astarion, it gets clear pretty fast that he holds onto the tadpole, because it seems to be the only thing that had been able to "save" him from Cazador whilst no one and nothing else even attempted to help him for two centuries. Of course he would not want to get rid of the tadpole just like that. But he says so nonetheless to align with Tav's goals and display himself as useful.

And then he does something interesting.

I need you alive. You need me strong.

Please. Only be a taste, I swear. I'll be well, you'll be fine, and everything can go back to normal.

In the beginning of this conversation he mentioned he needed the blood to fight better. Now he takes up on this by saying that Tav needs him strong, hinting on him getting stronger after having a taste of Tav's blood. And then he promises that after this "everything can go back to normal", which right now means Astarion feeding on animals again.

A few things about this are odd.

Firstly, "only be a taste". Everyone, literally everyone has heard about the insatiable hunger of vampires. So how is it supposed to work that Astarion gets stronger from just a taste of Tav's blood? For how long? A few hours? Not nearly long enough to pose a real advantage, eh? For me this makes no sense. And if we think about his true intentions - wanting to find out if he can break Cazador's rule - just a taste would be absolutely enough. (And after he bites Tav without killing them, he even says that he needs something more filling!)

Secondly, if Astarion really wanted to become stronger with the help of Tav's blood, why would he promise to go back to normal afterwards? He just offered Tav a stronger companion but then immediately nullified this argument by literally saying that this will be a one time arrangement.

Thirdly, he subtly offers a bargain. "You give me your blood, I will be a stronger fighter for you." He did so in the beginning as well, repeating it with different words. And it fits his character very well to do so, because for all he knows everything comes with a price. He almost gets beaten to death and Cazador mercifully comes to his rescue? The price is a never ending life of torment and abuse. Astarion helps a potential victim for Cazador to flee? The price is a year of starvation, locked up in a dusty and dark tomb without knowing if it will ever find an end. Mindflayers rescued him from Cazador, (passively) granting him to possibly be free of him at last? The price is becoming a tentacled monster in the end.

If we then allow him to bite us, he's visibly surprised about our graciousness, but of course doesn't let this chance slip and suggests getting comfortable instantly. Then he finally gets to sink his teeth into Tav's neck. This part of the scene can more or less be viewed from both sides - Astarion's and Tav's.

He begins to feed on Tav and after a bit we can decide to interrupt him, but have to pass an ability check first. This repeats a second time when playing Tav, and even if it's only one AC when we play Astarion and decide to bite a companion, it still aligns, showing that Astarion seemingly loses himself in the taste of Tav's blood - which is very likely because (as he later tells us) we were the first humanoid he's ever fed on, so it's imaginable that Tav's blood must be tasting almost divine to him.

This theory is supported by his actions after we fail the first AC or just let him continue. He grabs the back of Tav's head to pull them towards himself, emphasising on how greedy he is sucking the blood out of Tav. The camera even uses the exact same angles before failing or skipping the first AC and after, so the comparison is easy and the difference is clear:

If we then fail or skip the next AC, Astarion just drains us dry… And it gets even better after the bite night.

The Morning After

When Tav gets revived and then talks to Astarion, he is visibly surprised to see us, after he left the dead body of Tav behind with saying "Oh no, something terrible has happened". Sure Astarion, something…

All of this happens when Astarion still doesn't care for Tav. He reacts with panic when we confront him with the fact that he literally killed us, and just manages to get his expression under control after a few seconds. I mean, just look at him:

'Killed' feels like a strong word. Not many corpses have your vigour.

He definitely knows what he's done, and that 'killed' is indeed the right word for it, he is just very very bad at coping with guilt (which is amazingly analysed by thelikesoffinn - definitely read this, you'll understand Astarion so much better after this).

He instantly lays the focus on our codependency again, that we need each other and so on. If we question why we should keep him around, he answers with:

A strong, well-fed vampire? I'm a powerful weapon - you'd be a fool to toss me aside now.

With mentioning this, he wants to make sure that Tav will let him stay by their side and therefore grant him protection.

But more importantly he continues:

Anyway, last night was an aberration. It will never happen again.

He doesn't even start with something like "Next time I'll be more careful" or anything similar. He straight up says that it will never happen again. Period. If we then ask who he will feed on next time he gets hungry, he presents the idea of feeding on villains and bandits "who need killing anyway". And this is exactly what he wants. This even shows in his reaction to Tav's response to his suggestion.

If we agree and therefore allow him to feed on our enemies ("Sounds good. Glad we could agree"), this is how he reacts:

As am I. I'm starting to feel a little peckish already.

This itself doesn't sound all too enthusiastic, but we get his approval up, which definitely shows that he very much likes that Tav agreed.

On the contrary, if we suggest he can feed on Tav, ignoring his will wish to feed on villains ("Look, I'm not against you feeding on me, but only if we talk about it first"), this is his reaction:

Of course! This sounds eminently reasonable.

I shall wait patiently until you suggest we… dine together.

Doesn't sound too bad either, eh? But we don't get his approval. He doesn't disapprove, of course, because this is still a thousand times better than what he had until then, but still not what he really wants…

So, what does all of this mean for the initial question?

Conclusion

The crucial point here is what it means for Astarion to feed on Tav. The only things he remembers since Cazador turned him, are being relentlessly dominated and horrifyingly abused. The things Astarion wants the most are to be safe and to finally have control over himself again.

He bit Tav for the sole purpose of finding out if he can be free of Cazador's rules. So why would he jump right into being dependent on Tav? He suggests to feed on villains, because then he is free of anyone's mercy. He doesn't need to rely on Tav to graciously allow him to get a drop of blood. He can do this himself now.

This is such an important step for his character growth, to find the way to his autonomy again, so if we only allow him to feed on Tav, it instantly sets him back into old habits of bowing to his masters words - or in this case Tav's. Because it's all hes been doing for the last two centuries of his life.

So, as much as the thought of the self-sacrificing offer to be his personal blood bag may seem romantic or whatever, it's actually the exact opposite, trapping Astarion in what he desperately tries to escape from. The restrictions that come with someone dominating him mentally and physically. And as I mentioned earlier, he doesn't believe in the goodness of people. For him every "kind" act has a price and he likes to know what he has to pay, so he wouldn't even want to just drink Tav's blood without Tav getting anything out of it. He would most certainly expect Tav one day to come around with something he doesn't want to give or do, so he wants to control such situations beforehand.

All he wants is to make his own decisions and be free in every way possible…

So please just let him drain some bandits, will ya?

#astarion #bg3 astarion #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 astarion #astarion meta #astarion analysis #sorry for that shitty thumbnail but i couldn't resist

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