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#as if I'm not also Still Very Disabled lol

c6jpg · 10 months

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i do love the party select animations but i kinda hate the region backgrounds they look like those generic microsoft wallpapers from the 2000s 😭

#just saw you can disable it to get the default starry sky one i'm gonna go do that lol #it'd look just as weird but also be kinda cool if you could use namecards for the bgs #the scaling probably wouldn't line up very well but still #if anything just to give namecards another use #0.txt

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unproduciblesmackdown · 9 months

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spinning off of "winston being fantastically (literally fantastical (literally related to fantasy)) clairvoyant (he is also figuratively clear-sighted / figuratively preternaturally perceptive just like, in the show. which is where this all comes from. plus him calling himself cassandra, always seeing the future. he really has always / continued to be thusly) and taylor literally has a broadsword" type fun and games that are very loosey goosey b/c billions aus go spinning off into their own separate dimensions super easily when billions canon is so rooted in its specific Stage Settings of modern day US law n finance battles in the office, sidewalks, and eateries:

the thought of winston & tuk and winston gets to be a fairy. jokes, please. changelings are right there with the common theory of "was this to explain disabilities & go 'something could go Wrong and the baby's not a Person and get rid of that,' unlike nowadays where people do that but go 'b/c that baby's disabled'" and also one goes Thinking Emoji about how apparently New Mothers and New Brides were susceptible along with New Borns to become swapped out with a fairy and now something's wrong with them and get rid of that. had to be about Something given that people apparently did act on changeling lore and martin luther is taking a stance like yeah another thesis, it's important to kill them And okay to kill them b/c they don't even have a soul anyways. okay thanks martin luther....meanwhile also witchcraft and getting after anybody for that too. and fairies generally as Problems, the etymology going back to [fate], the range like "ooh hehe causing funny little inconveniences just because" to more so "yeah they could cause life-threatening illness for that" and "yeah they'll just kill you"....and i think fairy/fey as respective noun/adj re: being gay is of Unknown Origin, like "gay" also is. and you never know, if being fey is like, well something's not right and it's dangerous, whether this is the inspiration....though by the time this slang starts turning up, and even in the time of prior possible origins / the roots in other usages / potential inspirations, theoretical actual fairies are surely becoming more Fanciful, this being around like, the 18th century, rather than "here's martin luther telling you to immolate! that! baby!"

but that like, you can have it all ways out here. the Always Small fairies i think being a later kind of victorian deal, rather than "fairies are shapeshifters & can become animals e.g. & May have a 'tiny little inches or millimeters high mode' but that's just a mode & the fact that generally though they just look like people, maybe with some stylistic variations and tells, means watch out" and i think wings came up ever, across yknow the various centuries and regions of folklore out here lmao and possible origins / influences yet further across time & regions & cultures, but again "always small and always winged" being a very relatively modern victorian deal. but we can draw on that to be sure when, additionally, a Potential mutual [would prefer to avoid] between fairies and humans (as opposed to "if your house or some shit is on a fairy path bestie just build them another door to walk straight through cuz they're Gonna") becomes "no, fairies mostly avoid humans more than the other way around" type of imbalance of any threat means like, well hey sure, the Real Self could then become a tiny little magical guy having fun with wing designs who is shy and elusive but maybe another fun little guy can accidentally become aware but then have a secret little hidden friendship hmm....

but then also just thinking of the version where you just look exactly like everyone else and live amongst them, changeling style. and potentially don't Know you're different, or at least not Why, b/c this is a "from birth" thing like hmmm ya don't say. and the whole thread where in some folklore fairies Aren't nonhuman, the difference is only about the separate fairy Realm you live in, which is different, with like "yeah sometimes fairies come from people who died." and alongside / overlapping with everything like "yeah you could disappear for a few days to that realm and then be like 'don't wanna / can't talk about it'" and whatever all various like "watch out for the liminal and unknowingly wandering or being taken into the fairy world and Then watch out for communing with them b/c then you could be Permanently affected, or permanently continually affected or vulnerable, or just stuck there. and we wouldn't want that" like well don't let them know your name but maybe try to find out their names b/c you can get at them in turn that way, don't get in on any food, don't get in on any parties. though variations, sometimes people getting whisked away for particular tasks that apparently Only humans can do. or forever potential for helpful / sympathetic fairy interventions in life. like fairies raising humans b/c their human parents were awful

also, that some classic Tests for "is your baby a changeling?" were very like, "well i guess if we drowned or burned that person and they just died about it....our bad," in the way that like apparently the way to go could be "put them in the fire. where they'll either burn or fly out the chimney." or "start going tf beating them with objects. so that they go away" like and they never stop beating winston with hammers out here!! or the classic "idk abandon them in the forest so fairies can take them back" like well they do also like [i prefer to pretend winston doesn't exist / forget that he does] lmao. this isn't really related. just the ol "ballpeen hammers kind of goated when it comes to putting someone in a sack and beating them to death" factor out here for your local changelings

also sure thinking of like ohh watch out for winston and his gayass Realm he exists in which is wrong and not of our own and potentially will forever change you with its gayass ways. uh oh don't get corrupted into a whole other powerful magical mode of existence if you commune with him in some deep fundamental nourishing ways. oh nooo watch ouuuut....one of the "you might be a changeling if" moments being "when they think they're alone do they act up?? dance??" like yeah i'm stimming and bursting into motion and making noises and existing wrong when i think i'm alone. Old Souls (theory as well that newborn changelings were secretly elderly fairies)....existence in the Fey Realm just making you different and out of place huh. and it would just be a guy though like either [undetectable except by already trying to kill them] and/or [actually just a human, fairies are just humans, fairies b/c they're in/from the fairy realm] but uh oh don't let him corrupt you. don't go hanging out with him and talking with him and partaking in his activities and embracing his ways. you'll be changed. you'll never fit in around here and be able to do things right ever again. we'll have to start beating you with hammers. and all for what. your weird gayass little guy and a whole possible other dimension of existence? vs all This? smh

#that fey little mf. all the same glasses hoodies cargo pants winston....#winston billions #you can't go wrong. sort of semi fantastical au. or just modern day ''fairies can even be in your hedge fund office'' magical realism #not even like there's clear Powers lol like what do fairies do? well bit fuzzy on that but one things for sure:#cause problems for US!!!! like wow the way symptoms & definitions of disabilities are approached much?#you might be a fairy if....ouch i'm dead of unclear causes in 1337. Not very 1337....#winston is truly always causing problems. also learned that ''oaf'' (another word i've recently thought like ''i would just not say that''#b/c for some reason the nyt i believe described orville wingate as [still an(?)] Oaf & i was like a) huh b) excuse me) derives from fairy #as it was a term for a changeling specifically :I which juuust so happens to lead to connotations of Stupidity(tm) & Clumsiness(tm)#hmm! you do not say it!#what could changeling winston do? up for grabs. but the point is: change(ling) your life. and other fun things :)#also i think another potential fairy ability was: seeing the future as well lol. it's all coming together #seeing winston with fun bird wings b/c you've communed with him ''too much'' already. not an angel thing. a fairy thing #(sidebar abt how some Lore was that they Are an angel thing. see: influence from whole other traditions lol)#winston Becoming a bird b/c he can do things like that b/c fairies are shapeshifters. he's a pigeon =) you have a nest for him =) cooing #another parallel like ''definitely don't fuck him or you're locked in to his gay autistic realm for sure''#just like how as a theoretically real world autistic person everyone just knows winston isn't allowed to have sex #nowadays how ridiculous to imagine going: we think someone is weird & dislike their vibes; they shouldn't exist. we should ostracize them #we would never be like; some corruption has caused your child to exist wrong. basically taking your Real child away from you #or when they do tragically exist that they should be driven away to any possible extent up to ''just kill them :( sorry for You btw''#with the Possibility fairies could give you your Real Human Child back....#autistic kid? number one recommendation totally isn't ''put them in specialized abuse school where we try to banish the autism for you''

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giantkillerjack · 1 year

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I started saying things like "oh dearie me" as a joke, but of course it eventually just became a natural part of my speech

Which is frankly excellent personal character design on my part because it didn't actually make me not foul-mouthed, I just now also mix in the swearing vocabulary of a gentleman Hobbit ("SHIT! BALLS! GOLLY! FUCK!!!")

But also an unexpected lovely side effect is that now when I fuck up in a very small way, I automatically go like, "Oh my! Oh dear!! Oh, Jack, you silly goose!" Like a fussy grandmother.

And I have found that it is actively harder for my anxiety to catastrophize or contribute to negative self-talk when I mess up because there is now also a little hobbit man puttering around the scene going, "oh heavens oh golly gosh oh dear!!! ... heck!!!!!"

#original #I bring up Hobbits because I'm pretty sure this is a result of me reading a ton of Hobbit fanfiction #and because I am as a person basically a Hobbit #also to blame and by blame I mean credit is my wife who actively encourages all the ridiculous adorable things I do #I am a cartoon of a man and I'm not even a man!#but you should see her. we are a match made in .. ... well if not heaven then an animation studio lol #I still swear a lot but I found that a lot of the swearing to vent frustration is now done for more serious problems #but mixing the two styles of swearing is by far one of my favorite things that has naturally become part of my vocabulary #I'm not a man. I'm 6000 idiosyncrasies in a trench coat #and I'm extremely cute #and I'm not a woman because I'm just a little guy #although some women can be little guys if they want to be and vice versa #I also walk like my grandmother but that's because I'm disabled #I can't run very much but I do a mean putter #and I am absolutely about to offer you some food

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foone · 1 year

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I see a lot of people joking about the adhd thing of "I have a appointment/phone call at 3pm, guess I won't do anything all day!"

But no one seems to make the connection that it's a time blindness thing. One of the symptoms of ADHD is not having a good and accurate sense of time. And not doing stuff prior to an event with a hard deadline is an obvious coping mechanism for that.

Can I go to the store? It's 10am and the appointment is at 3pm. How long does going to the store take? An hour? Three hours? Five hours? I DON'T KNOW!

I get anxious trying to do things before appointments because I'm aware that I don't know how long those things take, and that if I think I do, I may be very wrong. Too often I've been like "hey I can walk to the corner store and grab a drink, that'll take like 15 minutes!" and then an hour later I get back and whoops my rice has burnt.

Plus there's also the fact that ADHD people know that motivation and focus is a two-edged sword.

Like, let's say you decide to play a video game. You've got time, you can pause/save whenever, so this should be a perfect fit to make good use of your waiting-time. So you start playing and WHOOPS you get really focused for some reason today (because people with ADHD do not get to pick when their brain decides to focus) and the next time you look at the clock it's 2:49 and you haven't showered or dressed and the appointment is 30 minutes away. Fuck. (you could have set an alarm, but now you're asking people with the forgetting-things-and-time-ignoring condition to remember it set alarms)

And with motivation, it can be almost worse. Instead of playing a game, you so something useful or creative. You clean your room or fix your plumbing or write a story or draw a picture. And suddenly it's great. Your brain is firing on all cylinders. You've got all the motivation you can ask for, and you are FLYING. the ideas are brilliant, your hands are nimble, you're getting stuff done you've been putting off for weeks or months. And then the alarm goes off. Time to go to your appointment. Fuck.

You drive there, your brain still full of ideas and plans. But by the time you get back, the motivation is gone. You may still have the ideas but you don't have the drive to write them down. You can't force yourself to do it. Your sink is still in pieces. Your room is half-cleaned, and you have to shove all the sorted clothes into one big bin just so you have somewhere to sleep. You've left things half finished again, in a cycle that has been repeating your whole fucking life. It seems sometimes that nothing ever gets finished.

So next time you don't even start. There's not time. You've been burnt too many times. Why add another half-completed project to your pile of shame?

My point is that people seem to be going "lol I can't do anything all day if I have an appointment at 3pm" like this is a quirky "oh I'm so scatterbrained!" weirdness they alone have, and not a major complication of a disabling mental illness.

(and that's not even getting into the secondary effects. If you know that having an appointment ruins your whole damn day, you're going to avoid them. Even when it's things like "going to that party" or "meeting your friends for a drink/game" or "going to a movie with that cute girl from your math class". Things you should enjoy. Things that'd help you be social. Things that make you feel human.)

#ADHD

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irawhiti · 11 months

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no tagging please lol

hey so uh. a little while back i was forced to leave where i lived for my own safety due to racist violence. i'm currently homeless living in an uninsulated caravan full of holes with my parents in the middle of nowhere (literally, it's over an hour to the nearest small town and 30 people live in an entire hour radius. i'm very remote.) with no electricity, water, or plumbing. we had a generator but it's been broken for several weeks now and we have EXTREMELY limited power because of it which means we have no heating at all. on top of that, since we have no heat or plumbing, if i want to take a shower i have to pay a minimum of $30 ish for petrol and the shower cost to get a lift into the nearest town and back. i can't really wash using a basin as often as i want to because of disabilities that are severely affected by cold and i'd have to wash out in the open in a field since we have no shed to wash in which is uhh... haha not ideal lol. as you can imagine. we don't really have any neighbours (they can still see us but they're not here right now) but it's extremely paranoia inducing. it also means i have to handwash all my clothes which has been causing issues with my disabilities too.

i hate to ask but could i please get some help to buy some warm clothes and bedding or something? several people on the block have contracted hypothermia in the past week and due to where we live we get hit with antarctic storms fairly frequently. i've been trying to stay positive but i'm honestly so fucking cold and getting increasingly malnourished, like i'm australian and all my clothes are only really good to keep warm if it's above like 15c/59f. it's also just very expensive just to exist here because it costs $40 in gas to get to the closest town we can actually buy groceries from + we need to buy and scavenge firewood wherever we find it because campfires are the only way we can heat up water or cook anything right now. i've been foraging and trapping invasive animals to supplement my diet but it's really not enough and i've been getting sick from malnourishment again. we also had e-coli in the household recently and three of us have gone into hospital (including myself) in the past month and i'm kind of at my limit. since we have no power i've had to pay a stupid amount for my phone bill and data also like everything is truly so fucking expensive.

pāypāl.me/hoodypet

please specify that it's for irawhiti, this is my friend's paypal. thank you so much if you can help me at all, i'm trying to take this shit in stride but i'm kind of absolutely fucked right now as much as i hate to admit it

#i hate doing this lmfao but uh. i'm not doing too well.#i don't even have a bed #i have some fabric on a base we made up but it's not a bed and it causes a lot of pain

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sweaterkittensahoy · 1 year

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My chronic pain disabilities (hip fuckery; migraines) do not stop me from working. It doesn't mean I should treat my disabilities with less respect than disabilities that DO make it impossible to work.

When my endo pain was at its worse, I did all the things I was supposed to do--according to HR--to protect my job. I filed ADA paperwork. I communicated when I used it. I had the doctor's note. Etc.

Two days before my hysterectomy, I got a call from HR. "Oh, we're not sure we'll have work for you after you recover."

Which, first of all, is fucking illegal to say to someone who has ADA paperwork in place with you.

And, second of all, you're a fucking liar. I was the ONLY tech writer in a company of 500 people. Don't bullshit me.

I should have filed a complaint and sued the fuck out of them, but all I wanted to do was be able to possibly get out of pain and not have to worry about my paycheck after that. So, I called someone else in the company who I knew would lose his shit if I told him I'd basically just been told I had no work to do.

Two days after surgery, I had an email from HR to my personal account. Which, technically, they ALSO should not have used to contact me while on medical leave that was--like my disability paperwork--100% lined up and signed off on.

But the HR person wanted me to know that "Oh, looks like there IS work for you! Lol! Didn't know!"

This is bullshit. She was very aware.

Years later, I'm at a much better company. My supervisor, who is nothing but supportive, recently floated that it might be good to have ADA paperwork in place for my migraines because they flare during stress, which is the time I'm needed at work THE MOST.

No shit: I went into hard shutdown for about two minutes after he said it. It wasn't a threat or a dismissal of my migraines. It was him going, "Oh, hey, so no one can ever try to use them against you to say you're bad with stress, you might do this."

But all I felt was how I was absolutely fucked over by a bad company because they said, "You need to follow these legal steps," and I did, and they still tried to get around them.

So, no, I'm not dealing with getting punished if I have more than 2k in my bank account. I'm not dealing with people touching me, or my assistive devices (I don't currently use any). I can park anywhere in a lot and walk to the store entrance. But I was disabled, and I AM disabled, and I have had people try to punish me for existing in a body that just fucking HURTS because it HURTS.

It's Disability Awareness Month. I am disabled. Less so than I was ten years ago, which is a fucking stroke of luck. But also my right hip has started to go now, and who knows what the next 10 years will bring.

It's Disability Awareness Month. If someone says, "I'm disabled, and I want to talk about my experience," please pay attention and listen and learn and understand there's all sorts of ways disabled people are fighting to be treated with basic human dignity and under the basic rule of law.

#disability awareness month #disability #chronic pain #endometriosis #ada rules

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janners · 1 year

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Forgive and Forget

Ao’nung x deaf!reader

warnings : little angst, Fluff, little bit of violence

wordcount : 9.9k

a/n : writing angst is so fun, but I also can’t write fluff for shit lol. Also bolded italics are when they are using sign language and just bolded is normal talking. Also I'm not good at coming up with titles, also not sure if I like this work sooo yea.

Being born into the family of Toruk Makto brings great joy for everyone. One problem, physical disabilities. Children turn to their mothers and fathers, for their comforting words and lullabies. But for you, you could only rely on touch and vibrations as your ears have been blessed with silence. Ever since you were born, you could not hear anything but muffled noises until it developed into silence.

Jake and Neytiri were stunned not knowing how to react as the great mother gifted them a child of tìkakpam(deafness). A child brought into a world of danger and curiosity who is at a disadvantage in many aspects. They brought you to Norm hoping that there was a way to assist you in any way. Normally hearing aids would be the answer but unfortunately the anatomy of a Na’vi is much different compared to a human.

Norm promised them that he would find some sort of solution.

As the years passed, the more you grew. Most of your life was within the village. Jake and Neytiri wanted you to be safe knowing that hearing is a big part of their lives when it comes to sensing things around them. Though for you, you felt as if you were a burden. Having to constantly be with someone at all times and not being able to explore with your siblings. You understood the dangers that lurk beyond the village lines, but only once did you want to experience what others experience.

Learning also took you a little longer compared to other kids around you. You didn’t have a way of communicating with anyone until Jake remembered that sign language existed. Working with Norm, they created Na’vi sign language for you to learn. As they slowly introduced the new language to you, the more eager you were to learn. A fast learner is what they saw you as. Just within a year of practising and learning, you were amazingly advanced for your age - or at least amongst humans as Norm put it.

Being 17, you were allowed to have a bit more freedom compared to when you were younger. Even if you couldn’t go out as far as the rest, you still had certain areas you were allowed to explore. You also passed your lknimaya with little effort, just like Kiri the Ikran chose you without wanting to kill you. It seemed as though the great mother gave both you and Kiri close connections to her. Your Ikran had a deep purple colour with delicate black, yellow, and light purple accents covering its body - her name being flefle.

You had a routine that you followed everyday. Wake up, stretch, eat, then head out to do your chores. Your chores only really consisted of joining the gathering group to collect plants and fruit for the clan, as well as training under Mo’at with Kiri. Though on special days, you get to teach children sign language hoping that a second language could be learned throughout the clan. The children adored you, being gentle and patient with them and even goofing off made them love you as a teacher.

Unfortunately, the one day you decided to go against your parents' rules was the day you’d get caught by uniltìrantokxolo'. It all started with Tuk complaining that Lo’ak wouldn’t take her with him to explore the forest. Tuk had ran up to you as you were weaving some baskets, she quickly signed “Lo’ak is being a meanie, he won’t take me with him to the forest with the others. Can you please tell him that he has to take me!”

You give her a small smile in amusement knowing how Lo’ak and Tuk are half the time. You put the half done basket done to sign back “TukTuk, you know it isn’t very safe in the forest especially when you are still my little baby sister” she could only pout knowing that you are right but she tried asking you once more “Please y/n, I’ll be safe I swear on Eywa plus Lo’ak is strong enough to protect us and if not then he must suck as a warrior” You huffed in delight, you told Tuk to stay put as you went to go talk to Lo’ak about it.

Walking towards him seeing as he is ready to go to the labs before embarking on his adventure with Kiri. You quickly clap to grab his attention, he turns to the noise - once he saw you he could only sigh, especially with Tuk trailing behind you. You gave him a head tilt with a knowing look, he could only roll his eyes knowing what this was about.

“Tuk what did I tell you about telling y/n?”

Tuk stuck her tongue out to Lo’ak hoping it would offend him. He scrunched his nose at her giving a disgruntled look. You walked in front of him, giving him a flick on his forehead and making sharp gestures after. “Are you trying to go exploring again? You know how father reacts when you do things like this especially sa’nok when you bring Spider with you”

He gave you a deadpanned look since his conversation happens every time he tries to go out and explore. “How come you don’t tell Kiri this?” feeling a little insulted (sarcastically) when you only talked to him about this. “Kiri knows her limits unlike your skxawng ass”

He could only make a mocking face with his mouth imitating your words. You rolled your eyes at him now. You turn to Kiri hoping that they’ll be safe. “Are you guys going to stay in the areas we are allowed to and not go to the prohibited areas?” Kiri gives a curt nod “I’ll try to, you know how Lo’ak gets' ' Before she finished her sentence an idea popped into her mind. “Why don’t you come with us for once?!” You only sigh. “Sempu and Sa’nok would not like that you know, I think you forgot about my rules that they’ve set for me”

Lo’ak watching the interaction between you two made him throw his hands in the air in exasperation. “Eywa, just come with us for once and not be a stick in the mud Tsmuke” You gave him an irritated look when he signed “stick in the mud” but he wasn’t wrong.

Tuk suddenly jumped up from her spot just now forming what they had said.

“Lo’ak pleeaasse convince y/n to come with us, that way she won’t have to worry about me”

He only groaned just wanting to leave now. “Just come with us y/n, just this one time before Tuk keeps complaining?” You gave him an unsure look knowing how your parents would react to you being out of the safety zones of the village. But you thought, only one time couldn’t hurt what’s the worst that could happen, right? Finally you gave in, Lo’ak content and Tuk cheering. You all walk off towards the lab to grab Spider - your relationship with Spider isn’t very existent since you don’t see him very often.

As you enter the lab, Lo’ak and Kiri go their own way as you head towards Norm and Max. Giving a quick hello to them, you walk closer to them curious on what they’re working on. Taking a closer look, you gave Norm a knowing glance, he had been working on a hearing aid equipped for Na’vi ears. You tap his shoulder “Uncle Norm, I have told you already that you do not need to do this for me. I feel bad that you are taking your time on just this.” Norm turns to you with a bleak look on his face. “Don’t feel bad, I want this for you, I want you to be able to experience what we hear in your beautiful home plus you are my niece, of course I would do this for you.”

Just before you could respond back, Tuk drags you away to the entrance doors. Waving Norm bye before Tuk could drag you any further. Going out you see the three of them waiting for you and Tuk. “Hello Spider” he gave you a small smile before signing "Hi” back. He didn’t mind you either, although he didn’t know much about you it seemed as though you didn’t judge him for what he is and he appreciated it. All of you were now venturing off into the dense forest. You follow closely behind Kiri as you weren’t as familiar to the paths like the rest. You snap your fingers to grab Lo’aks attention once more, “Where are we even going?” Giving you a mischievous grin he said “A surprise” which could only mean bad things knowing how he is.

Continuing to walk through the plants for a couple more minutes before Lo’ak made everyone stop. You bump into Kiri’s back giving her a questioning stare, she gestured you to crouch down to the ground. You weren’t as to why, you turned to see what Lo’ak was doing, making us stop suddenly. He was looking in a certain direction, you followed his gaze just to fall on an old abandoned shack. Oh no, the shack we’re not allowed to come to. You waddled over to Lo’ak giving him a slap on his back. “Are you crazy?” You made hurried movements with your hands to show that you were annoyed with him. “This area is prohibited to all of us”

He gave you an annoyed glance before talking with Spider. You threw your head back while plopping down onto the dirt below you. You signed to Kiri that this was a dumb idea. She could only agree. Just before you guys decided to leave, your brother found tracks in the mud. They were fairly large considering that it was a boot mark. “You don’t think it is uniltìrantokx do you?” Giving them a worried look while pulling Tuk closer to your body. Their ears folded down seeing as it may be the only thing that made those marks. Lo’ak quickly communicated to our father about our findings.

He gestured to all of us to go quickly and quietly back to the village. “Lo’ak is it Skypeople?”

He nods briefly, you felt upset at yourself for allowing this to happen. You hold Tuk and Kiris hands as you try to navigate back home. Abruptly Tuk was stolen out of your grasp by a dreamwalker. You tried reaching out to her desperately wanting to pull her back before another dreamwalker pulled you by your kuru. You let out a strangled noise, panic coursing through your body from the sudden shock. They kicked your legs to make you kneel, you see they rest being captured the same being done to them.

You watch as they start talking, not understanding a word coming from their mouths. Lo’ak talking as well and making a vulgar gesture to the uniltìrantokx. You couldn’t focus well, your breathing uneven, pupils shrinking in fear.

“Hey shut that girl up, her breathing is too loud for me to hear this boy”

“Got it colonel”

Someone grabbed your cheeks harshly making you look at them. They were spewing words out as if they were yelling. You panic more seeing that they were angry with you, not being able to respond. You close your eyes, shaking your head vigorously.

“LET HER GO YOU ASSHOLES, SHE’S DEAF SHE CAN’T UNDERSTAND YOU”

The grip on your face loosened, your panicked state still present. Your eyes shift to Lo’ak as he gestured to you to calm down. You tried to slow your breathing down as you continued to witness the interactions between your siblings and the dreamwalkers. As time passed it grew dark, waiting for your family to come help you all. You glance over to Tuk making sure she was okay, her ears suddenly perked. Watching as the rest of them seem alerted by something.

It was a blur really, you were on the ground, next thing you knew an arrow shot across hitting one of the avatars. Guns started shooting near you, the one time you were glad not to hear those scary machines. Not knowing what to do, Lo’ak ran to grab you off the ground. Finally reaching the dense trees and bushes for cover, he asked if you were okay. “I’m okay, are you alright though?” He gave you a small nod. Only a minute later everyone else had found the two of you. Relief washes over Jake and Neytiri's faces seeing everyone was unscathed.

It seemed as though they had gotten rid of all the uniltìrantokx. Your mother came to you with a worried look pulling you into a quick embrace before pulling back to give a stern face. “You were not allowed to be here, you were to stay in the village” You could only give her a downcasted face as you were in the wrong. Neytiri sighs knowing how hard this must’ve been on you. Giving you one more quick hug before following everyone else back home.

Raids continued for another week until the tawtute eventually left Pandora once more. Unfortunately, your father wanted to leave for both our and the clan's safety. It was like another nightmare, the only home you knew was now being left behind. You weren’t as upset compared to your siblings but it still hurt knowing that you had to leave everything behind.

Jake stepped down from the role of Olo’eyktan with a solemn look. Everyone slowly mounted their Ikrans preparing to take off. There wasn’t much to take with you unlike Tuk and her toys and trinkets. She was always able to lift the mood somehow. You put the rest of her things on your Ikran before seating yourself on Flefle. Your father had given a signal to finally take off, taking one last look at the people and the forest. You thought about many things while flying during the long hours. How will I nag Norm now? Will the reef people accept a Na’vi like you? Would you be outcasted? How will you be able to feel vibrations on sand or water? It has troubled you greatly not knowing if you will be able to feel vibrations.

After a couple more more hours you start to watch as the dark blue slowly turns into beautiful crystalline water. You admire the colourful coral decorating the reef before spotting Na’vi with a much lighter skin tone. You follow your father and the rest on to a small clearing on the sand to land. As you land, Na’vi starts to slowly surround your family with curious and questioning gazes. Jumping off your Ikran, you walk closer to Neteyam grabbing his arm. Two boys emerged from the crowd looking at your family. They walk around to the back studying your bodies.

You felt a lingering stare coming from behind. You look over your shoulder to catch the taller boy studying you the most. He realised you had caught him and averted his gaze to his friend beside him. He started talking but you couldn’t make out what they were saying. You turn to Neteyam asking what they were talking about, he told you not to worry too much about it. Giving him an unsure look you look back to your parents conversing with two other Na’vi. The Tsahik swiftly made her way towards you, she circled you and grabbed your tail while having an unimpressed look. You took your tail out of her grasp giving her a furrowed glance. She only looked at you with a squinted look before heading towards Lo’ak.

First impressions weren’t exactly the best, especially with your reaction. They had accepted your request of Uturu much to their dismay. Their daughter Tsireya, as Lo’ak told you, guided you all to your Mauri. You made them go ahead as you still needed to grab the last items from your Ikran. You wondered what Tuk had packed as it was heavy. Tossing things over your shoulder and carrying another on your back, you started to walk to catch up to your family. The boy from earlier saw you struggle, he tried calling you but no reply. Is she ignoring me on purpose? He gave up, annoyed with you not responding to him. Back with you, you finally caught up with your siblings. Settling into the Mauri you observe your brothers and sisters jumping into the water. You turn to your parents with doe eyes, wanting to join your siblings. They give each other a glance.

“Should we let her? I think it is safe enough in the reef to let her go, right?”

Neytiri took his words and contemplated whether to let you go or not. She did not want you getting hurt while wandering off but she also wanted to grant you freedom. She looked to where you were standing still waiting on their answer, she gave you a small smile.

“You may join them”

You gave her a toothy smile before joining your brothers and sisters. At the edge of the dock, you stare at the water, enamoured by its beauty. Lo’ak swam to you, “Are you allowed to come?” Smiling at him you nod. A small distance away, Tsireya asked Neteyam a question that she had in her mind since you guys got here.

“How do you all know sign language so well?”

Neteyam spun to face her, his mouth shaped as an O forgetting that they do not know about y/n.

“Our sister cannot hear you see, so we all learned sign language together to be able to talk with each other”

Her eyes widened with the fact that you were deaf but also impressed with their language skills. Of course Ao’nung could not hear Neteyam talk about you, too busy with daydreaming while waiting for everyone to join.

You dip your feet into the warm water before slowly emerging the rest of your body into the ocean. The water was soothing, helping with the aching muscles you had. You follow Lo’ak to join the others. As everyone emerged into the ocean, it was like a whole new world beneath the surface. You wandered off on our own just like Kiri, you admired every little detail of the coral and other aquatic plants surrounding you. Small unique looking fish started to swim around you. A look of amazement graced your features from the colourful fish and their behaviour. Eyes following their movement before they swam away.

It seemed as though your brothers could not hold their breaths for much longer. They all surfaced not seeing me or Kiri with them. Ao’nung ducked back into the water, he saw you far from the group swimming by yourself. He couldn’t help but see a breathtaking scene before him. You spun around to see where the others were, instead you met the boy's eyes. Feeling a little flustered you sent him a small wave, but all he returned was nothing while he went back up to the surface. Ears folding down, you felt a little dejected from the actions but focused back on the different world around you.

You had gotten out of the water much sooner than the others. A cut was on your arm from the corals being too immersed with your surroundings. Heading to the healing Mauri, you took quiet steps to the entrance, knocking on the side to grab the Tsahik’s attention. She looked up seeing you with blood running down your arm. Waving you over to sit, you were quick to sign an apology. Ronal looked at you with an odd expression. “You know sign?” Giving a curt nod, “I was born with tìkakpam” Eyes widening for a second before coming closer to you to inspect your cut. Placing a paste of mixed plants and herbs onto your arm before wrapping it with leaves. “Do not get this wet until the cut has been sealed” You smile “Irayo” You stood up to leave until you felt a hold on your hand, it was the Tsahik. Ronal had some remorse towards the girl despite their differences. “How would you feel about teaching the young children sign language? I heard from your mother that you did some teaching but I did not know what it was until now.”

You felt the tight feeling in your chest loosen a tiny bit. “I would love to.” To your surprise the Tsahik gave you a smile who was now shooing you off to continue your exploring. You felt a bit down due to not being able to swim for the time being but you shook the feeling off, striding to the shore. You slowly walk while water rises to tickle your feet, from a distance you see the same boy from earlier throwing spears into the sand. You walk towards him, you grab a stick from the sand and gently tap the tree near you. Ao’nung was slightly startled, missing his target. He turned to prepare to cuss someone out but immediately stopped as his eyes landed on you.

Eyes curving into a moon shape as you smiled and waved at him. There was a slight flutter in his chest seeing you. He wasn’t sure why he was feeling this way, he barely knew you.

“What are you doing here?”

You squint at his moving mouth, you picked up on what he said. “I was just walking until I stumbled upon you throwing the spears” He tilted his head, not understanding why you were using that language. Seeing his confused face, you completely forgot that he must’ve not heard about you. You quickly sign once more “oh sorry, I don't know if anyone told you but I am deaf” You gave him a gummy smile, he felt a bit guilty not knowing especially when he had tried calling out to you a few times. He walked closer to you, “I’m sorry, I haven’t introduced myself properly yet, I am Ao’nung” You look up to meet his gaze, he was quite tall for his age. “Nice to meet you Ao’nung, My name is y/n.” Y/n? A pretty name. He had thought.

You spent the rest of your time with Ao’nung. He’s shown you most of the island and told you about some traditions they do. You guys compare your traditions, competing with which is better. Some small banter here and there. Walking along the docks you spot these adorable creatures in the water. “What kind of creatures are those?” Your eyes glimmered in admiration. A small chuckle escaped Ao’nung’s lips, “These are called Ilu, very kind creatures they are.” Smile widening, you look into his eyes asking if it was okay to touch them just with your face. To him, you looked like an overexcited child receiving their first spear, he could only grin at the sight. He gave you the go ahead with a small nod. The Ilu swam up closer to the dock as you crouched down and reached your hand out.

It felt much more different from what you expected. The Ilu were very smooth and slippery, slightly rubbery. Your tail swinging back and forth, you look back up to Ao’nung with a determined face. “Can you teach me to ride one?” He gave you a surprised look, “Well I planned on teaching you all the next morning…” You stood swiftly grabbing both his hands, your face full of eagerness. He couldn’t resist and gave in. “Fine, but you better show off how good of a teacher I am tomorrow when I teach your siblings” You throw your hands up, victorious in convincing him. Immediately your mood dampened, you looked down to your arm, ah the cut. “Sorry Ao’nung, It seems that I’ve forgotten about my injury. I cannot get it wet.” Your face is apologetic.

Studying his face, he appeared a little disappointed. “It’s alright, once your arm is healed up I will teach you then.” Giving you a gentle smile. Alas, someone saw the scene, that person being Tsireya. She was ecstatic seeing her brother having a soft spot for you. Tsireya then saw you guys part ways for the day, just as you went out of view she ran up to her brother with the widest grin.

“You like her don’t you!?”

He was stunned by the sudden appearance of his younger sister. Heat filled his cheeks swatting his sister away.

“W-what are you talking about? Me, liking her? That is nonsense.”

Tsireya put her hand on her hip giving him the most unbelieving look she could give him.

“Your cheeks say otherwise brother”

“Bah, this is none of your business anyways. Plus I could say the same when you were looking at the forest boy”

A smug expression replacing his flustered one. Tsireya now he one who is flustered from the sudden mention of the one brother. She smacked his arm as hard as she could.

“OW, you did not have to hit me that hard women”

She could only roll her eyes. They both head on back to their Mauri constantly bickering along the way.

The felt someone shaking you gently, you awaken rubbing your eyes and letting out a long yawn. You turn to see who woke you, your mother. She ushered you over to eat, you took a seat beside Tuk who was munching away. You ruffle her braids while signing good morning. Neytiri gently tapped the floor grabbing your attention, feeling the small vibrations you lift your head. Your mother signed about the talk you had with Ronal. “I heard that you are to teach the young ones sign?” You give her a soft smile, “Yes, the Tsahik assigned me to be a teacher after hearing that I was a teacher back home. I am quite excited” Neytiri huffed out air in content seeing her daughter settling well to the changes. “I hope you are ready then, the Tsahik told me to tell you to meet her at her Mauri today after you finish eating” Nodding, your attention back on eating thrilled for today’s events.

You wave your mother off as you head to the Mauri with a little skip to your walk. Finally reaching your destination, you see the Tsahik patiently waiting for your arrival. As you greet her, Ronal’s face softens from her usual hardened look. “Are you ready for your first day?” You nod energetically, excited to see what it was like to teach metkayina children. Both of you reach a small secluded area, just before you could take another step you spot a boy about your age waiting there. “This is Fänau, he will help you with the young as they are only beginners, he will translate for them.” You open your mouth in understanding. “The parents should come in a few minutes to drop their children off, have fun” Giving you one last smile she waves you off.

You walk to Fänau wanting to introduce yourself and get to know him a bit better before lessons start. “Hello, my name is y/n I hope we can work well together” You give him a kind smile. “I am Fänau as Tsahik mentioned, I am excited to work with you.”

Ao’nung was doing his morning chores. As he was carrying some baskets before he spotted his mother and you walking together. Suspicious, he followed behind them to see what they were doing. They stopped in a small area, he squinted his eyes to see what his mother was saying. First day? For what? Then he spotted Fänau, watching you two interact made him feel irritated. His mood was now spoiled, walking away with tight fists.

The first lesson was amazing, the children were amazing despite only knowing a few basic signs. You were radiating happiness as you passed a few members of the clan, you couldn't even be bothered by the stares you were getting. Walking to the shore, you remembered that your siblings were learning to ride Ilus today. Increasing your speed you finally spot them in the water getting ready to ride. You crouch to sit and watch them learn since your cut hasn’t fully healed yet.

Neteyam noticed your figure from a distance, he waves nice and high. Seeing you wave back made him chuckle. Ao’nung took a glimpse of you, you really were pretty in the sun. He felt a nudge in his side, turning just to see Lo’ak giving him a death stare.

“Stop ogling my sister fish lips”

“Who said I was looking at your sister?”

He looked away immediately trying to shield faint blush. Lo’ak gave him a dirty look not believing what he’s seeing right now. He slowly walks to Tsireya still giving Ao’nung a warning look. You continue to watch your siblings learn, chuckling to yourself as you saw Lo’ak fall off his Ilu. But your gaze trailed to Ao’nung who was also laughing, who knew one could look nice when they are laughing like that. Waving your hands frantically trying to wave those thoughts away. You must’ve thought you were crazy for thinking that way.

As they finish up their lessons, Kiri makes her way to you with a content smile. “The ocean is so beautiful” You smile agreeing with Kiri, the only thing missing is hearing the water and waves. How you wish you could hear it. Everyone had dispersed doing their own things, except you and Kiri. You stayed where you guys were, admiring the nature around you while Kiri was admiring the sand in the water. You caught a glimpse of figures moving from the corner of your eye. It was Ao’nung and a few other boys talking to Kiri. Your head tilted to the side wondering what they needed Kiri for. Brows furrowing see the discomfort on your sister's face. Standing from the sand, you walk over and grab Kiri’s hand and look towards Ao’nung. “Is there something you need from Kiri?” Ao’nung faltered seeing you appear beside Kiri.

Instead of him signing to you he talks once more to Kiri. You catch the word freak coming from his mouth. You give him a hurt expression, you press your hand against his chest to put space between him and your sister. Just before you could say anything else Lo’ak comes onto the scene taking your hand away from Ao’nung. Neteyam then came along to relieve the tension between the two boys. Only a second later, literally a second, a fight broke out. While Kiri was laughing, you had a horrified expression on your face. You walk up to Ao’nung pulling on his tail to get him off your brother. In a blink of an eye, you felt pressure against your check making you fall back.

Everyone froze in place. First person to move was Kiri helping you off the ground asking if you were okay. You didn’t reply, you only looked at Ao’nung with a crestfallen look taking over your features. Before more punches could break out, your fathers came to the scene quickly pulling everyone apart. Ao’nung tried reaching out to you before being pulled away by his father. Your father left you with Ronal to help the bruise that is forming on your cheek. “Thank you for the paste Tsahik '' She shook her head, “You do not need to thank me, I swear to eywa if my son does something like this again so help me” You chuckle quietly seeing Ronal worked up over her son. “Also there is no need to call me Tsahik, just call me Ronal '' Her face is gentle as she continues to rub paste on your cheek. You were beaming now being on a first name basis with the Tsahik.

As the sun sets and the moon rises, you carefully take off the leaves surrounding your arm. The cut was finally sealed up, a smile graced your features knowing you can go into the water once more. The smile faded watching your brothers and sisters come into the Mauri with both annoyed and upset looks. “What is wrong? Did something happen again?” Neteyam could only sigh, “Ao’nung took Lo’ak outside the reef and basically left him for dead” Your expression etched into anger, not knowing why Ao’nung would do this. Kiri looked a little surprised as it was rare for you to get mad.

Standing up with anger radiating off your body, you stride towards Ao’nungs Mauri tail whipping around in frustration. Reaching the entrance you give the Olo’eyktan and Ronal a quick greeting. You didn’t meet the eyes of Ao’nung as you signed to Ronal. “I'm sorry to disturb you Ronal, but may I talk to your son” She took in your stiff posture and expression, the corner of her mouth perking up a little before giving you a brief nod. She found it quite amusing that her son was about to earn another lecture from someone else, especially from you.

Ao’nung hesitated with following you out, not ready for what you have to say. Finding a small spot on the sand you finally turn to meet his nervous gaze. Your stern face changed to sorrow. “Why?” He knew exactly what you were talking about but like a skxawng he played dumb. “What do you mean?” Frustration growing once more, you punch his chest. “You first called us freaks and then left my brother to die outside the reef” Your gestures were sharp and quick showing your bitterness. He only looked down knowing what he did was extremely wrong. You huff air from your nose in disbelief, you thought he was nice but you thought wrong. You made him look at you once more. “Not only that, if my siblings are freaks, then what am I? I have the same features of those tawtute and I cannot hear. Does that make me a monstrosity compared to everyone else?”

Not once did Ao’nung feel that way. You were one of the most gorgeous Na’vi he’s ever seen. He wished he could say those to you but he was still silent. Tears well up in your eyes, your head hung low. “To think that one person wouldn’t judge me apart from my family. I really thought we could’ve been friends Ao’nung maybe even a little bit more than that” Again silence, you took it as a sign that Ao’nung wouldn’t change. Ao’nung was frozen in place, not being able to comprehend what you signed. You wanted something more? Just as he lifted his head to look at you, your body was already walking away from his figure. He wanted to reach out, he really did, but he stayed in place not wanting to make matters worse.

You make it back to the Mauri and sit right beside your mom. Head leaning into her side, tears now falling freely accompanied with small sniffles. Neytiri wanted to ask what had happened but thought it was best to comfort her daughter with her warm touch. She brought you closer into her body as you continued to cry quietly. Neytiri started to hum your waytelem hoping you could feel the vibrations from her chest. The soft murmurs from your mothers body calmed you, you felt your body slowly falling into slumber. In time you fall asleep completely, Neytiri picks up your small figure and puts you onto your mat and gently drapes a thin cover over you.

Jake looked at Neytiri with a concerned look. They knew that moving somewhere away from the forest would come with difficulties. It was a small given that the children would be seen differently due to their different appearances. He contacted Norm and asked about his little project for you. His throat felt parched hearing that Norm had almost figured it out. Norm mentioned that in another week or two it could be ready for use. Jake sighed in relief, you would finally be able to experience the sounds of their stunning world. Looking over to your peaceful frame, he could only worry because you were his first daughter and he knows how much you’ve been through.

Days have passed, you’ve gone everyday to teach the children along with your new friend Fänau. You have also been ignoring Ao’nung because you weren’t ready to face him. Ever since that day, you haven’t really given yourself the time to learn how to ride and explore more of the ocean. Fänau was walking by your side after finishing the lesson for today. You turn to him with a cheeky smile, “Have you gotten the chance to talk with Zoprrì?” giving him a small nudge with your hip. His face flushed with purple and gave you a small smack on your arm. “Do not tease me. I tried but I fumbled over my words and ran” Fänau buried his face in his hands in embarrassment. You bring your hand up to his shoulder for comfort. “You still have lots of time, he will definitely see how awesome you are Fänau” You give him your widest smile with a small thumbs up. He could only release a small laugh at your silly gestures.

It was his turn to give you a teasing smile. “How’s Ao’nung?” You give him a deadpan expression. “You know damn well how he is, I did not rant to you two days ago just for you to ask that dumb question” He chuckled, “He is like a lovesick puppy, he keeps trying to find you” You roll your eyes as you cross your arms, then releasing with sharp movements. “Lovesick? Lovesick my ass, if he really did then he would not have called us freaks' ' Fänau found it amusing when you started ranting, but he knows that you would not budge from the idea of avoiding Ao’nung. “He is going to keep trying to talk to you until you finally give in” Eyes squinting at him, you slowly sign “I won’t give in, watch me” He pursed his lips then released a long sigh. “You will, I know you are still upset with him but you will have to talk with him eventually especially when you live here now” Your ears face down, he was right but Ao’nung did not deserve your friendship right now. Both of you continue to walk discussing random topics.

Ao’nung once again had gone in search of you. He desperately wanted to apologise, he did not want to lose you. He searched throughout the village but you made no appearance. Realisation took over his features that you must’ve been teaching right now during this time. Walking to the area, he thought of many ways to somehow start the conversation once he finally has the chance. Just on time, the lesson had just finished but he paused his movements. He saw you walk away with Fänau. Twinge of jealousy pricks his heart seeing the two side by side. Instead of walking away, he followed the two of you making sure not to make a sound. He was too far to see what you were discussing with him, he moved in closer hiding behind the trees. He read your movements and got to the part where you mentioned him calling you freaks. Guilt washed over his body, it was his fault for saying those foul things.

He studied your expression, it was full of annoyance and a tinge of sadness. Ao’nung did not want you to feel upset with him. An idea popped into his head, gifts. Remembering that his sister was skilled in making accessories. Leaving the scene, he ran with determination towards his family Mauri. Today was an off day for them, entering the Mauri he spots his sister already working on some small trinkets and bracelets.

“Tsireya?”

She looked up from her work seeing her brother standing awfully awkwardly.

“Did you need something Ao’nung?”

He wasn’t sure why he was feeling shy for asking a small favour from his younger sister. Fiddling with his fingers he opened his mouth just to close it again. He felt frustrated with himself for not being able to get the words out. He let out a groan, looking straight at Tsireya once more before he blurted out.

“Can you help me make stuff for Y/n…”

Her eyes were blown wide before she beamed with delight. Scrambling up to stand, she ran up to her brother pulling him towards her working area. Tsireya pushed down on his shoulders forcing him to sit, but did it a bit too hard making him fall hard on his butt. He let out a small yelp, giving his sister a stunned look. Letting out a small sorry before she sat next to him with a look of curiosity.

“What exactly did you want to make for her? A charm? Bracelet? A beautiful top? Hair decor? Cute trinkets?”

He cut her off by smacking his hand on her mouth to stop her from rambling. She was getting too excited for his liking. Pinching his nose bridge he came up with an idea.

“I was hoping to give her a variety of things until she finally lets me talk to her. I thought we would start with an accessory for her ears seeing she has a hole in her ear”

Tisreya looked at her brother full of admiration. She was grateful that you were able to change Ao’nungs foul behaviour. She shuffled closer to Ao’nung showing him a variety of pieces that they could use to start this earring. He knew that you usually wore feathers but they didn’t really have those. Some scales caught his eye, they were shiny and in the light they reflected with a beautiful orange and yellow colour.

“Do you think I could mend these together and shape it?”

He picked the scales up showing them to Tsireya. She squinted her eyes while staring at the scales in thought. A solid nod, he exhaled not knowing he was holding his breath for her approval. Hours went by as Ao’nung was a bit difficult to teach especially when snarky remarks were being tossed back and forth. Tsireya constantly smacks his hand when he does something wrong after being told repeatedly not to do that. Or he groans in frustration while dropping the earring flopping backwards onto his back. Tsireya could only give him apathetic looks. Through all of that they finally finish the set of earrings made for you. They both release a sigh of content before falling back at the same time.

“You plan to do this how often Ao’nung?”

“...every night”

She sits up so quickly, almost giving herself whiplash. Looking at Ao’nung with a gaping mouth and furrowed look.

“AND YOU SAID YOU DIDN’T LIKE HER”

“WHAT DOES MAKING STUFF FOR HER MAKE YOU THINK I LIKE HER?”

Tsireya looked at him like he was crazy. She threw her hands up in exasperation while huffing out.

“HAH, YOU’RE BASICALLY COURTING HER YOU SKXAWNG”

He choked on his words, courting? He gave his sister a flabbergasted expression.

“I’m leaving, I can't stand this conversation anymore. I need to go drop the earrings off”

Tsireya mocked him as he walked away heading towards your family's Mauri. As he’s walking, he looks down to the earrings in his hands. Thoughts run through his mind, Will she like them? Will she throw it away? Will she wear it? Distracted by his thoughts he didn’t realise that he had reached the Mauri. He started fidgeting with his creation worried that you may be there. Just before he took another step, Neteyam had stepped out of the Mauri. He turned his head, catching Ao’nung in his line of vision. His once relaxed face turned stiff. Ao’nung grew nervous seeing your brother walk slowly towards him.

“What are you doing here Ao’nung”

His voice is firm and demanding.

“I was uh, was wondering if I could give this to y/n?”

He held out his hand to reveal the delicate handcraft. Neteyam looked puzzled, not understanding why. He could see some flaws in his craft as he tried to shape it into a feather look and the weaving looked a little messy. He gently took the earrings from Ao’nungs hand making sure to handle it carefully. Ao’nung shoulders dropped in relief that Neteyam accepted his request.

“I cannot assure you that she will forgive you with this”

Ao’nungs expression grew grim.

“I know, but I will keep trying”

Neteyam looked at him with a pleased face. He was glad that someone was willing to try for you. Many men in their past clan didn’t make many advances towards you due to your deafness. Seeing that there was someone here making an effort provided him some peace. He bids Ao’nung off, entering the Mauri he trudged to your hunched over figure. He taps his foot beside you, catching your attention. “A certain boy came by '' Your ears pointed down, turning away from him, focusing back on your basket weaving. He sighed, he went and sat in front of you. “You know you cannot avoid him forever. I know he said some upsetting things but all of us have now become a bit acquainted for the most part” You stop your moving hands, lifting your head to meet his stare. “Yes you guys have but not me. I am not ready to face him yet.” Neteyam pursed his lips, he took one of your hands and placed the earrings gently in your palm. “He came by to give you these, you can tell he made them” You bring your hands closer to your body, studying the accessory. The beautiful colours resembled your actual feathered earrings except these were shiny and reflective. You noticed the small cravings on the side trying to resemble the feather details. Your lips curled into a faint smile.

Neteyam noticed and smiled, he gave you a small ruffle on your head before heading out once more. As he left, you got up from your spot and walked over to your space. You had a small trinket box where you stashed away your things. Carefully placing the earrings into the box, you look at it once more before closing. You pondered why he had given you a set of earrings. Continuing your basket weaving, you stayed in thought about the different possibilities on why until the sky grew dark.

As a few more days passed, everyday Neteyam or Lo’ak would give you something made by Ao’nung much to Lo’aks dismay. Each item was beautifully made even though there are some small mistakes you can spot out. The other day, Neteyam had brought in a delicate top covered in intricate designs. Tsireya definitely helped him with that. Your mother had told you that there was a big celebration tonight and wanted you to join. She knew you weren’t big on these types of things but thought it would be nice for you to join in one every once in a while.

The celebration was nearing, you thought long and hard about what you should wear. You look towards the collection of accessories that Ao’nung gifted you. You missed Ao’nung, but you were scared to approach him. You took this chance to wear everything he made for you as a sign of forgiveness. Putting on the bracelets, the earrings, neck pieces, and the beautiful top. Lo’ak had walked in to grab something but saw you wearing Ao’nungs “ugly” creations. He gave you a furrowed look with his eyes peering at you. “You’re really gonna wear his things?” He saw you give him a brief nod. He could only sigh, “If he tries anything tonight don’t hesitate to grab me okay?” Smiling, you gave him another nod for reassurance.

Heading to the main gathering area, you feel deep vibrations under your feet as you come closer to the celebration. You see bright lights from the fires illuminating the entire ground accompanied by the shining moon. You move your head to see your father talking to somebody, they turned their head a bit and you realised that it was Norm. You missed him dearly, you carefully snuck up behind him before jumping on his back. You felt his body jolt, he turned to see your extremely happy face. He gave you a tight embrace before pulling away. Your face changed from happy to confused. “How come you are here uncle?” Seeing those words he gave you a toothy smile. “I finally figured out the hearing aid situation” Eyes widening with tears slowly forming on your bottom lashes. “This isn’t a joke is it?” He gave you another smile while shaking his head. You jumped into his arms once more as tears were finally released from your eyes.

“Do you want to test them right now, see if you can hear the music?” You nod vigorously as you wipe your tears away. Norm carefully picked up the wooden box and opened them to reveal the small hearing aids. He gently placed them into your ears adjusting the sizing to fit. Putting on the lowest level of volume, he turns them on. You weren’t sure how to react, emotions were everywhere. Ears twitching to the small sounds around you, the people chatting, the crackling of the fire, the booming music. Tears welled in your eyes once more, you turned to Norm, ramming into him giving him another hug as your cry in his chest.

“How do you feel kiddo?”

Your eyes widened at his voice, “I can hear you, I can actually hear you” He chuckled lightly as tears threatened his vision as well. You quickly turn to your father, you run to him and grab his arms. “Sempu try talking”

“Nga yawne lu oer Ma’ite”

His voice sounded more fatherly than you thought it was. Deep voice with raspy undertones. You lean into his body, overwhelmed with joy. You grab the rest of your siblings and your mother to hear all their voices. As a family you shared your tears of happiness, you finally felt normal.

Ao’nung and Tsireya arrived late due to Ao’nung worrying too much about his appearance and Tsireya constantly reassured him that he looked fine. As they joined the clan they head towards their parents first notifying their presence. He noticed his mother with a smile on her face while looking in a certain direction. He followed her gaze stopping on you, you were dancing with your younger sister Tuk. His eyes open like saucers seeing you decorated with all his creations. Purple hues appear on his cheeks and ears as he continues watching you dance with such positive energy radiating from you. Tsireya smirked, elbowing his ribs.

“Go. Ask her to dance with you”

He swallows his saliva in nervousness. He couldn’t take his eyes off you.

“Do you think she’ll say yes?”

Tsireya laughs lightly.

“I’m sure she will, plus she’s wearing all your things”

Ao’nung begins walking towards your dancing frame. His cheeks still warm as he watches you dance with such grace and freedom. As he got closer, you noticed him coming to you. You stopped dancing and signed to Tuk to go to Kiri. Once he was standing right in front of you he couldn’t muster a single word. You watched as he stood silent, you were hoping he would say something but nothing came out. A small pang of disappointment filled your chest. You turn to walk away until his hand grabs your arm. You move your head slightly just to see him out of the corner of your eye. “Would you like to dance with me?” Eyes widening from the question. You give him a shy nod trying to avoid his gaze. He guided you near the centre, softly grabbing your other hand. You felt weird being in the middle of everything, you kind of wish you were back dancing on the sidelines.

Ao’nung sensed your slight discomfort, so he decided to dance first. He did a couple moves here and there, a few being a little silly to make you more comfortable. You finally are confident enough to start dancing as well. You moved swiftly and rhythmically to the beat. Ao’nungs movement falters, watching you fall into the music once more. He was slightly confused not knowing how you knew the rhythm so easily. But he forgot about it immediately as you grabbed his hand pulling him closer to you.

From afar both pairs of parents watch as their children enjoy their night. Neytiri settled beside Ronal while watching her son and her own daughter dance together. “They seem good,” Ronal smiled, agreeing with Neytiri.

“Your daughter is a very bright girl despite the difficulties she faces”

Neytiri watched you with a gentle expression.

“She is isn’t she”

An idea surfaced in Ronals mind, she was sure it would stun Neytiri.

“How would you feel about me teaching her the ways of a healer? I know my daughter is the next Tsahik but I think it would be good if y/n learned about healing”

She whips her head to face Ronal with shock. Neytiri knew you weren’t much of a hunter or warrior so healing made sense.

“You would do that for her?”

Ronal nods.

“Anything for a future daughter”

Ronal hid her laughter seeing Neytiris reaction. Both mothers had become close over the couple weeks. The celebration had slowed down, everyone settling into chatting amongst themselves while their children ran around. Few decide to eat niktsyey as well and enjoy their drinks. You and Ao’nung decided to settle down as well, sitting with the rest of the chaotic group. Ao’nung sat close to you but without Lo’ak giving him the dirty eye. He shifted a tiny bit closer to you just to get on Lo’aks nerves. As for you, you were fidgeting with your fingers while watching the children play with each other. A small group of children you recognised as some of your students. They pulled your arms wanting you to play with them. You sign to Ao’nung quickly saying you’d be back before getting dragged away by the kids.

He watches you as you run around with the children chasing you and one on your back. Ao’nung felt as if he was on cloud nine just observing you getting along with the kids so well. He knew you would make a great mother someday. Rotxo nudged him teasingly.

“You definitely like her, can’t deny it now”

He swats Rotxos hand away, giving him a small hum. Not once has he taken his eyes off you, you looked amazing in his crafts and he felt proud. Lo’ak had thrown a pebble at his head but he didn’t even notice, too entranced with his sister. You finally wave to the children off before sitting beside Ao’nung once more. The rest of the night was filled with talking and laughter especially because of Lo’aks and Ao’nungs bickering with each other. You haven’t told Ao’nung about your new hearing aids, wanting to wait to be alone to finally have an actual conversation with each other. But throughout the night you kept increasing the volume as you get used to the sounds. You heard what Ao’nung sounded like but not clearly due to the other chatter around you.

As everyone slowly starts to head back to their Mauris, you took Ao’nungs hand and guide him to the shoreline. He was a little confused but followed you anyway. As you reach the shore, gently bring him down to sit with you. You make your body face him, you look into his ocean eyes that are shining in the moonlight. “I forgive you” You watch as his eyes widen and a smile settles on his lips. “You do?” Giving him a gummy smile you nod briefly. His expression dropped just a little, “I’m sorry for saying those cruel things, and for not saying anything. I don’t think you’re a freak, you are unique and beautiful. I’m sorry for making fun of your siblings as well, the silent treatment was well deserved for me.” Grabbing his hand, you give him a look of compassion. “All is forgiven and forgotten okay? It is alright now” Giving him a wide grin you quickly sign, “Can you say my name with your actual voice?” Ao’nung gave you a puzzled expression but went along.

“Y/n?”

Your smile widened, eyes turning in crescent moon shapes. “You have a lovely voice” He blinked a few times not understanding how you heard him. Seeing him confused you exhale in amusement. You slowly remove the headpiece that was covering the hearing aids. You turn your head to the side to show him the small device. Ao’nung tilted his head still confused on what the device has to do with your hearing, especially when he doesn’t understand tawtute machinery. You chuckle at his expression, “My uncle made this device to help me hear, it took many long years to perfect for me. But I can finally hear everything… even you.” Ao’nung felt his cheeks and ears warm up from your comment from earlier about liking his voice. His tail wagging unintentionally behind him.

“No wonder you were dancing beautifully to the music”

This time your cheeks were set aflame hearing his gentle voice and compliment. You buried your face in the palms of your hands feeling embarrassed. As you try to avoid his gaze, he feels happy knowing he had an effect on you. He gently caresses your hands, bringing them down to his lap. Ao’nung gazes into your golden eyes that seem to light up in the dark. Studying your face, the glowing specks, your unique striping and your soft lips. Mustering up his courage, he slowly leans in, inching closer and closer to your face. Your eyes flutter closed anticipating the possible kiss. Feeling his hand on the side of your cheek, the soft touch of his lips finally connect with yours. The kiss was gentle yet passionate under the moonlight. The nervous feeling in your system vanished as the kiss lasted longer. Pulling away to catch your breaths, you look into each other’s eyes before breaking out into quiet laughter. Purple hues still visible on your cheeks.

Sitting together in silence, bodies facing the ocean with your tails entangled. Listening to the waves crashing against each other, and the animals chittering through the night. Head resting against his shoulder and his head resting on top of yours. You felt at peace slowly dozing off to the sounds of Ao’nungs breathing. Ao’nung peaked at your face, a small smile forming on his lips thinking, how did I get so lucky?

Years passed, you became an experienced healer assisting Tsireya with her continued Tsahik studies. As well as continuing teaching the small children sign. Ao’nung became a strong warrior, earning multiple markings. Not only that, you became mates. Ever since that night, both of you were inseparable. Ronal adored you, more than Ao’nung or so he said. Your brothers also become strong warriors within the clan. Lo’ak followed the Metkayinas ways as Neteyam continued the Omatikaya ways. Kiri and Tuk both joined the gathering groups although Tuk was training to be a warrior. Ao’nung was also able to finally give you those Ilu lessons which went wonderfully apart from distracting each other. As Fänau, he finally got together with Zoprrì. Both of you were still close friends, much to Ao’nungs disagreement. Everything was finally in place.

#aonung x reader #sully family x reader #aonung #tsireya #loak sully #neteyam sully #kiri sully #tuktirey #jake sully #neytiri #ronal #tonowari #avatar the way of water #avatar 2 #aonung x you #aonung x y/n #aonung x sully!reader

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latenightdaydreams · 2 months

Note

Very specific request but König finding gn!reader (who was unambiguously his lover) who was presumed dead in a nursing home. Crippled and scarred, maybe they were also part of the military, but your body was never recovered after the mission. Yet here you are, sitting in some nursing home with a book in your lap and a blanket around your shoulders, looking so much paler and thinner than he remembers. Maybe they wanted to wait until they were strong enough to actually go see him in person themselves, or maybe they're struggling with their self image now. Just headcanons on how he and reader would deal with it, if you want more angst maybe reader is also disabled now, unable to walk without crutches, or developed a chronic illness. I'm just such a sucker for this type of hurt comfort.

🥹As someone who uses arm crutches, this story was close to home lol. Thank you for your request and I hope you enjoy🥰

Finding You (g/n)

Fluff and angst (slightly)

Master List

>cw: internalized ablism, disability

1.3k word count

Today was just like any other day at the nursing home. You sit in a vintage arm chair with a pale blue crochet blanket around your shoulders, donated from a local artist, you took it as soon as you saw it in the pile. The shade of blue reminding you of König’s eyes.

You miss him, crave him, but you aren’t ready for him to see you. Not like this. Physical therapy has only been helping but only so much, your body still looks wasted away. A deep scar cutting across the left side of your face now, making you feel hideous. You don’t resemble the person König fell in love with and you’re scared that if he sees you, he will fall out of love.

You drop your eyes from the window to your book. You struggle to stay focused on the words when all you want to do is see, even talk to, König. The months have been lonely, your depression only getting worse. Next to you, resting on the chair, are your new arm crutches you’ve been getting use to walking with since your spinal injury. You glare at them with distain for a while before looking back out the window, remembering life before the incident.

The common room is quiet as most people are outside today to enjoy the warm weather. You wish to be outside, but you still feel a level of embarrassment having to use crutches now to walk. You never knew how hard internalized ableism could affect you until you became disabled.

König walks up the stairs and opens the door to the nursing home. He sees a young woman sitting at the front desk and she greets him warmly.

“Hallo, I’m here looking for y/n.” He gives her your full name.

“You’re their first visitor! I’m sure they will be so excited.” She stands and gestures for you to follow her to where you are.

She walks him through long hallways full of rooms, finally he arrives at the end of a hallway with large windows illuminating the room, the walls painted a pale yellow, making the area bright and cheerful. She points to you.

König stares, not recognizing you at first. You’re small, your skin pale and your hair grown out. You haven’t noticed him, dissociating and looking out the window instead. König thanks the woman and begins to slowly approach you. His eyes gleaming with love as he looks over your fragile body.

“Schatz?” König speaks softly to not startle you. He notices the crutches next to you on the chair.

You turn your head to look at him head on. Your eyes widen with surprise to see him. A wave of emotions rushes over you as you realize he is really here. You don’t respond, just stare. You watch as König kneels in front of you and slowly pulls off his mask. His cheeks are red and there’s a small smile on his lips.

“Schatz?” König slowly moves his hand and rests it on your thigh. He has missed how you feel.

“König…” Your voice shaky as you’re overcome with emotions.

Hearing your voice makes his small smile grow, his eyes study your face. Dark circles under your eyes and a deep sadness fills them. A small frown on the edges of your lips. A new scar on your face, he wonders what happened, but won’t ask right now. No matter what, you’re still the most stunning human he has ever laid eyes on.

“I’ve missed you.” His grip slightly tightens.

“I’ve missed you too.” You move your book to the side on the chair, your hand finding his.

“I’ve been looking everywhere for you.” He grasps your hand in his, bringing it up to his lips to kiss. “Why didn’t you call? Write? Something?”

König doesn’t mean to talk about such heavy topics right now, but he is just so full of heart-ache. Life without you has felt so empty.

“I wanted to heal, get better.” You look into his eyes scared of rejection.

“I could help you heal Schatz.”

“I didn’t want you to see me like this…” Your voice cracks as you talk, you drop your gaze to your lap.

He squeezes your hands slightly; he is aware of how much you’ve changed. Not just physically changed, but probably also mental.

“You know that I love you no matter what, right y/n? You’re my light.” König has felt rejected, learning that you were alive yet never tried to reach out to him.

Your frown deepens at his words, tears building up in your eyes. A heavy feeling of guilt and regret washes over you.

“I’m sorry…”

König gently grabs your chin and turns your face to him. “Don’t be sorry. I’m just glad to see you’re alive.”

He looks at you for a while before leaning in and kissing your lips softly. You kiss back and move your free hand to cup his face. You didn’t realize how much you missed him, his touch, until right now; you’ve been suppressing your feelings for so long.

Just then a nurse comes into the room and approaches the both of you. She smiles warmly and places her hand on the back of your chair.

“Today is a beautiful day, you haven’t been out in a while y/n. Why not show your guest around the garden?”

“That sounds like a good idea,” König excitedly agrees. He stands up and reaches his hand out to you.

You let out a deep sigh, not really wanting to do anything. Yet, you grab his hand and stand up, your legs wobble slightly. König notices and quickly wraps an arm around your waist and holds you close. You feel so much lighter in his arms. Holding you steadily, he reaches down and grabs your crutches.

“You need these, right?” He asks in a soft voice as he hands them to you.

You nod and grab them from him. You slip your arms in and stand with them. König softly steps back and lets you stand by yourself. He watches the way you stand and how you rest on your crutches.

You both walk out of the room and to the back door to enter the garden. König walks at a slow pace to keep up with you. His eyes on you the whole time to make sure you don’t fall or need his help in some way. You feel self-conscious as he looks at you, you know it isn’t with malice, yet you can’t help how you feel.

Stepping outside the warm sun hits your skin and you squint your eyes. König just smiles, taking in how precious you are to him. Seeing how far you’ve come in your healing journey makes him proud, he’s always known you were a strong person. He just wishes he could have helped you along the way.

You walk with your crutches, one foot at a time, making sure to not rush yourself and allowing your body to move at a pace it’s comfortable with. The pain from moving already starting to kick in, and it’s written on your face.

“Do you need any help Schatz?”

“No, I’m okay.” You lie not wanting to push König away by asking for support.

König nods, seeing a bench in the distance he begins to slowly guide you there with a hand on your back, not meaning to over step but he sees you struggling and wants to help. Once there, he puts his hands around your waist to help you sit. There are so many things he wants to ask you, but he doesn’t want to overwhelm you. Instead, he simply wraps his arm around you and pulls you close to him. He kisses the top of your head.

“Would you come home?”

“I- I need to heal still.”

“I can hire a nurse for you, you know money isn’t an issue Schatz. I can take time off work as well.”

“I don’t want to be a burden-”

“You are never a burden. Never.” His voice stern but he isn’t angry. “You’re more important than stupid paper work. Please, come home to me.”

You look up at him with teary eyes and just slowly nod your head. You thought when König saw your crutches, your scar, your frail state, he would fall out of love. He would be… disgusted. But no, his love has proven to be unconditional.

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your-absent-father · 2 months

Text

Children in writing: my personal pet peeves

Okay, some might know that I work as an elementary school aid, done it on and off since I was 19, so I have the credits lol. Last december I even got my trade school papers for it. I preface this this way bwcause I have worked with shitton of kids, and will in a future. My background also means that I am very quick to notice when people don't interact with kids that much.

Even the savant syndrome kid is still a kid

One thing that annoys the hell out of me is when the 8 year old smart kid character acts like a 32 year old with all the emotional cababilities it entails. Yes, some kids have an higher intelligence, emotional or otherwise, but in the core of them, they are a kid. They get temper tantrums, they are in awe of new discoveries, they love to play in their own way.

For example, the class I'm in now, we have a kid I will call James. James is raised by his grandparents and it shows in everything he does. He is an old soul, always getting striaght As and almost helping the adults in conflicts. James also giggles as I race with him during recess, he sulks like a kid after not getting what he wanted and laughs really hard at fart jokes. He is 8 even if he has an emotional intelligence of an older kid.

Children are sponges, in bad and good

Speaking of James, he is a great example of children being sponges. This 8 year old, he uses terms like "gosh darn it" or "welp, it is what it is", terms I could see his farmer grandpa using. When he is stressed, he poses like a 73 year old looking at a broken tracktor. You can see his grandpa in him clearly.

I want to say it because a lot of people only write like "I am bad because my dad was bad" characters, even though it isn't that simple moat of the time, and children being sponges could be used in so many different ways, and not just bad.

Kids knowing big words doesn't always mean they are smart

This adds into the "kids are sponges" segment. Lot of kids, especially now, pick up different words, some very difficult, but they themselves don't know what they mean. Just today I had to explain what a dictator meant to a kid talking about North Korea. (That is an other thing too I like to add: kids try to explain with their own understandkng of the world what things they don't understand are)

Children's are adults in progress

Thus is a thing that peeves me the most of all, because a lot of people think children are thing entire different entity than adults. I like to explain it in videogame logic, like as a kid you are doing the first levels and progressing trough. You still the same character at the core of it, you just leveled up and got new tricks up your sleeve. Children are humans, they aren't that difficult to comprehend.

kids with disabilities have presonalities

Omg I am such a passionate person towards this, especially because I am specialized in special ed. It annoys me in no end when a special ed kid's presonality is "ehh they are disabled?". Every single special ed kid I have been with have different personalities and likes and dislikes, if they can't show it to you themselves. I don't think I have met two disabled kids (nor adults) with same personalities, even if they have exact same disability.

In the class I am in now, James's best friend is this kid named Jackie. I don't know Jackie's diagnosis but she can't walk straight, and uses multiple walking aids when her legs hurt too bad. She can't talk very well, struggling with her speak. Still, those things weren't the first thing I'd use to describe her. I'd describe her as a dramaqueen, always ready to complain about something, i'd describe her as a sporty, always running after her friends, even if she is much slower than others. I'd describe her as kindhearted, and clingy as she is always ready for a hug. Her disability is n intergal part of her but not everything.

I could complain about this all day. I have worked with kids and adults with disabilities and they have all been do different from each other (like able bodied people). Maybe another post lol.

Okay rant over.

Tldr: Chldren are humans too. Lol

#writing advice #writeblr #eve rambles #wip #writing kids #writing

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banquetwriter · 1 month

Text

୨୧ invisible scars ୨୧

this was the request sent via DM: 1.fluff

2. Johnnie Guilbert

Hey! I love your writing and I was hoping if you could do one about Johnnie Guilbert x reader where the reader has hyperesthesia and they are feeling sad because of how people don't understand her and take her condition seriously and Johnnie comforts her? It would mean a lot to me since I have struggled with hyperesthesia. Thank you for your time! xx @tacuuuu

pairing: Johnnie Guilbert ♡︎ Reader

warnings: ୭̥⋆*｡ Jake being a dick lol, mentions of pain, reader being sad

summary: ʚ Johnnie defends your invisible illness ʚ

Words: 950

An: so sorry I have been sucking lately I'm literally dying lol, also there is very little online for hyperesthesia so I did my very best haha 🖤

Your whole body was riddled with the feeling of pins and needles. It was numb with pain, the occasional burning sensation coming in waves across your body. It was the third and last day of Coachella weekend two, and your body was wrecked.

You had more caffeine and boos than your body could handle. It was about 2:30 and it was time to start getting ready and pregame. Your muscles felt like they were guitar strings that had been played too much.

You took a deep sigh tightening the snuggly soft blanket you had wrapped yourself in. You sat not listening to the conversations around you. “Y/n!!” Tara shrieked looking at you. You reluctantly moved your head up to look at her. She was halfway done with her makeup already and had her hands placed on her hips.

“I'm sorry Tara but I'm probably not going to go tonight. I will just crash into Airbnb,” you mumbled with a sorry expression. “Y/nnnnn!” she whined, turning around to keep getting ready. “I know I know, I’m sorry Tara.” you apologized flopping back on the couch.

Suddenly you heard the door open, you peeked out of your blanket to see Jake and Johnie walking through the door. A small part of you was so relieved to see Johnnie. You knew he would understand like he always does.

He is always there for you, his touch seemingly a remedy for your pain. You sit up and pout watching Johnnie move his way to you. Jake opens the fridge and pulls out a drink. “Hey, sweetheart,” Johnnie mumbles, wrapping his arms around you.

You sink into his touch, feeling your nervous system calm down. “Bad pain day?” he asks as you close your eyes. You take a deep breath milking this moment in. “Yeah, not sure what brought it on,” you mumbled, Johnnie kissed your forehead humming against your skin.

You opened your eyes and smiled at your boyfriend. You took in his outfit. God, he looked so damn fine. “Shit, you're looking like a smoke show,” you remark, eyeing him up and down. He rolls his eyes with a grin.

Jake walks over to the two of you while wiggling his hips back and forth. “You two crazy cats ready to have one hell of a last day?” he asks while taking a sip from his drink. “Oh, I'm not going anymore,” Johnnie says nonchalantly. Both you and Jake snap your heads towards him.

“No way Jose!” Jake says, putting his hand on his chest in shock. “What?” you ask, pulling away from Johnnie’s arms slightly. “You're in pain. You need to be taken care of today. I'm not just gonna leave you.” he said, meeting your eyes.

“Nuh-uh, you're joining us!” Jake yelled out looking at Johnnie. “Johnnie, don't ditch them!” you whisper screamed. “Y/n you're having a bad day I'm gonna be here for you,” he promised.

Your heart swelled with adoration at his words, an equal part of guilt. Your worst fear was coming true. You were dragging others down with your disability. “Dude y/n says it's fine! Just come get drunk.” Jake says encouragingly.

“No dude,” Johnnie says calmly, just shaking his head. You felt a little awkward sitting there now. You had never ever wanted to make other people suffer from what you go through. Your heart clenched with anxiety.

“Jesus Johnnie it's not even that bad. Y/n still does stuff all the time! They went on a run the other day!” Jake moaned dramatically, bending his knees for emphasis. You cringed at his words. While it was true some days you had energy others you certainly did not and this was one of those days.

Before you could defend yourself Johnnie was quick to step up. “Dude that's not how it fucking works. Not everyone's issues are visible, you know that. They are at real risk with their blood pressure being so high. So no I'm not going I'm going to stay and take care of my girlfriend ok?” Johnnie says, his eyes open wide with anger.

Jake had looked like a kicked puppy. He looked over at you with a small sad smile. You had almost forgotten you were there for a second, finding it hard to believe anyone as incredible as Johnnie would defend you like that.

“Hey um, I'm sorry y/n I swear I didn't mean it like that. It's totally ok if you need rest some days, I was being a little bit of an idiot.” Jake sheepishly admits. You open your mouth to speak but no sound comes out. You shoot a quick glance at Johnnie before you look back at Jake.

You take a deep sigh before calming him down. “Don't worry man. If I could change it I would,” you mutter before standing up and making your way to your ‘bedroom’.

You sink into your bed, no longer feeling the comforting touch of Johnnie. And thankfully it wasn't long before he walked into the room. You didn't turn to look at him at all, you just let him walk over to the bed.

You hear shuffling for a minute before the bed dips down with his weight. His arms wrap around your torso pulling you into him. You let your eyes close as his comfort slowly dulls the numbness in your body.

“Thank you,” you mumble against the pillow. “Of course,” he says softly. “You will never be too sick for me. I'm always right here,” he mumbled a second later. Neither of you moved, but you could swear when you were having a better you would tell him how greatful you were.

#jake and johnnie #johnnie guilbert #johnnie guilbert fluff #johnnie guilbert x reader #johnnie guilbert x you #johnnie x you #johnnie guilbert angst #johnnie x reader

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