hey guys wouldnt it be SO funny if it turned out i had EDS this whole time 🤔

Hello. It's been a few years since i made this blog and made my first post. I now deleted my first post bc i found it to be cringe and honestly really painful. i have grown a lot in these past years and have seemingly beat my hallucinations for now. i know that will most likely come back prob once i become a mother one day but i feel more prepared to beat them again.

Other than that i dumped and got dump by two partners, made and lost almost all my friends besides one. dont judge by like im sure many of us are im a sucker for the friends turned lovers trope and well ive been dating my best friend for almost going 2 years now. he has been super accepting, a wonderful partner and my biggest support thru it all so far. hes my only support system honestly.

i am deeply scared to make friends again after what my last friend did to me.. for years and i just let her. i cant really blame it on having low self worth either since i honestly really like myself and who i am but more so i didnt know HOW to be treated by others. let me be clear NOT how I treat others, no-no but HOW others SHOULD treat ME. isnt that nuts? you think that would be something we just have inside of us as humans (or otherwise) that we would just KNOW that. i dont FEEL like a doormat either but maybe i am. not with everyone, mind you. just like people ive grown to have developed a trusting bond in with respect packed in there like a mozzie stick, yum, ya know? i love em like chosen family and youre gonna body shame me for not being short for a woman, like what? you think i wouldve picked it out asap that chick SCREAMED pick me but i also saw her good qualities too which is why i wanted to be friends with her... i trusted her a lot. Oh well tho.

As much as it still hurts sometimes the fear is still there. i, as a woman also fear other woman. i know, i know. there is so many other wonderful women out there who would never treat me so badly but my brain is gone broken from so many traumatizing events over and over again. it irrational, i know it. its also isolating. i dont go out much at all but honestly blame the economy for that. i plan to be getting a part time job soon which you can also blame the economy for haha but also i want to meet people and have some kinda structure in my life again. hoping for friends right now is something im maybe not ready for honestly i think ill just start with talking to people again and let that be that. i hope to get some kind of a cleaning job so it will be a little to no talking to people depending on where im set up.

im just kinda scared to open myself up again to other people. online of course is different mainly besides the usual explanation but also for me, the internet is a black hole where NO ONE see the crap i shit out which includes my art i make sadly. i dont really try all like hard to make people see it anyways. i am still scared of people after all.

anyways today i have plans to hang out with my partner before he has to go to work. im hoping we can play palworld together again hehe. Other than that its house chores and back to drawing for me today. i just came out of another depressive episode recently so i have a few great messes to clean up. its a good thing i like cleaning, ya know when i dont feel like i wanna disappear. what can i say, its genetic. thanks, dad haha.

im planning to get back into my old hobbies too like live streaming. ive been live streaming all over the internet off and on since i was maybe 14. im 23 now so 10 years!!! WOWIE!! when i was growing up my family would joke around saying i need my own reality show haha. i do have a huge personality, ig but thats something im very comfortable and like about myself. bold and funny, i think!! streaming is a super relaxing thing to me. i talk to myself anyways and i always have. you dont stay this "sane" without talking to yourself to fight off the loneliness haha.

that reminds me recently my partner told me he found me to be a "increaser of morale, an inspiring person, you're motivating and you make being emotionally positive SO EASY." im still so stunned and very very VERY flattered he told me that! even if its not true im glad he feels that way bc thats a nice way to be. hes very very sweet to me.

well i could write forever right now honestly but i should probably go drink enough water to take out a house fire so i dont die of dehydration.

oh, if only. (JOKING)

quick (positive) update !

(tldr; my mental health is improving, im gonna use tumblr on desktop from now on not mobile, fics are on the horizon, ic blog is still fun and i would like to keep it running, no more text post concepts, might make a little/big discord and/or amateur podcast - asking for feedback on ur interest in these)

since deleting the tumblr app my mental health is improving, and ive also started thinking about the au more every day! im getting more concept ideas for the first time in weeks and even am starting to get the motivation back to write some fics :o

because of this im gonna keep the tumblr app deleted and only use tumblr on desktop from now on - it just has more steps for me to acually go on the site by gettin out my laptop and stuff, so its no longer a default when im bored or disociating to just swipe to the app, and more of a conscious decision when i actually have things i want to post !

this is actually feeling rlly productive for the au since before i deleted the app i was worried bc i had had no concept ideas or motivation to write in weeks and even months, but now my interest and passion for it is coming back as im not so caught up in mindless scrolling and refreshing my inbox all the time

so yea ! jst letin you all know that things are good and i'll be around here again eventully prob with more ideas and energy for the au !

the ic blog is also something i still love to do and think is rlly fun so im defnitely keeping that alive ! i might still have a break from it for just abit longer but im gonna come back to it soon enough and hope some of you will enjoy it when we pick that back up again !!

another note that ive found writing out concepts just became such a chore that it sapped all my inspiration to even think of them - so in terms of text posts on this blog, i can't say for certain but at least for the foreseeable future i do not plan to write out concepts, only fics

but i still have concepts i would love to share - and the two things ive found i acually enjoy doing with concepts is either keeping them in messages with friends or even recording them in voice recordings

so i'm genuinely considering the folllowing two options for future little big concepts as i dont think posting them in text on tumbllr is working for me:

1) i create a discord server for little/big (open to anyone who wants to join) where we can throw out concepts in a more casual friendly conversational way and ppl can have more input on them because i much prefer the back n forth concepts to me just telling u things - this method is where most of my concepts come from in general from my discord with liv and bea !!

and/or

2) literally doing a rlly amateur little/big podcast HSDSHDJSD i'm not kidding honestly i much prefer talking out loud than typing (and before anyone else suggest voice to text programs i am aware of them but they just arent vibing for me) - anyway i would just voice record some ideas and post them somehow for ppl to listen jhsdksah

i know these are unorthodox but honestly its my au and this is what works best for me, i could do both honestly and will prob at least try them both

anyway let me know if anyone is interested in either of these !!

also i hope everyones been good <3 ive missed you and hope everyone is happy and having a nice june!

Group Ask 179

What is a group ask?

Previous Group Asks

AO3 Search Tutorial

Please send us an ask stating which group ask and which person you are replying to. Thank you so much in advance!

Anon 1 said: (dubcon, maybe noncon?)

hi, do you know of a fic where post-ws, bucky comes in from the cold and finds steve, & they start a relationship. but towards the end it's revealed that (the big plot twist), bucky doesn't actually feel anything for steve and is only in the relationship because he thinks he has to be like steve's bucky from before the war/feels as though he has to play the role of bucky barnes and thinks that's what that entails/or similar icr exactly. steve, who thought bucky meant it, is really hurt. thankyou

Anon sent in Out of the Dead Land by orphan_account (complete | 62,707 | E)

opaline-pixie said:

Hello. I’m looking for a story that I read years back. All I remember about it was that Bucky liked being bound up. Steve took them to a cabin and instead of bondage tape he bought vet tape because it was cheaper. That and I remember a game where he blindfolded bound Bucky and surrounded him with sex toys and Bucky had to guess what they were.

Anon 2 said:

I read this fic a while back; I remember that the summary was part of a book that Bucky had written about the accident that lost him his arm (he had a Stark prosthetic, and was touchy about people liking it)? It was an AU where Bucky and Steve were both college professors, with Steve possibly an art teacher? I think Bucky and Steve didn't get on at first? There's a scene where Steve does a painting lesson for some of the professors, and a faculty event/party towards the end? Thank you!

Anon 3 said: (sex work, polyamory)

i’ve been looking for the fic where steve or bucky experiments in sex work and does a porny photoshoot that turns into a threesome w peggy on set for like an hour now and can’t find it. any idea?

buckycuddlebuddy and somesortofitalianroast sent in Push It by thepinupchemist (oneshot | 8,982 | E)

eclipseofparis said:

Hi! I hope you’re all doing well. I’d like to ask if you know or are familiar with this fic. It’s a time travel au (??) where Bucky as The Winter Soldier was accidentally or purposefully sent by Hydra to the 1930s? or 1940s? to kill pre-war Steve Rogers. Before Bucky went back, he told Steve abt Pierce. TFA timeline still happens and when Steve woke up to the new century, he acts all oblivious but in actuality he was plotting his revenge on Pierce. He did killed Pierce in the end I think?

Anon sent in Savage God by LenneWithMilkAndHoney, PottersPink (restricted, complete | 36,127 | M)

Anon 4 said:

i’m looking for a fic I read before, what I remember is bucky works at a company where steve is like the boss/ceo and steve is an ass and fires him one day, then later steve asks bucky if he wants to be in a D/s relationship with him and Bucky moves in to steve’s apartment? that’s all I remember, I hope it’s enough!

buckycuddlebuddy, miraishu, Anon, keepyourelectriceyeonme, wayward-lives, its-a-harlequinade and time-lord-no-more sent in Collar Full of Chemistry by 2bestfriends (complete | 188,111 | E)

Anon 5 said:

hi, I’m looking for a doc that I’m pretty sure is from Buckys pov and it has a recurring motif of a story about a woman going into a river. very literary, it’s like the type of story that has an all lowercase title. Hope that helps

Anon 6 said:

Hi! I’m looking for a WIP fic where both Bucky and Steve are princes. Steve comes to live with Bucky because Steve’s dad thinks it will help Steve learn how to be a better prince. I remember Thor working as the stables guy too. Peggy and Becca are also Bucky’s older sisters in this fic. Thanks!

Anon, emzy2 and possibleplatypus sent in Amaryllis by paperstorm (complete | 70,386 | E)

Anon 7 said:

I'm looking for a fic(probs 1 chap) that basically takes place in a nightclub or somewhere similar, and Bucky sees a girl with a pixie cut and black sparkly dress at the bar, goes to talk to her, and realizes that she is, in fact, a dude(Steve) pretty sure hes not trans,,, the do the dirty,,, pretty sure there's fanart in it too

Anon 8 said:

Hi, what’s that fic where Steve has to teach Bucky how to masturbate or at least just had to be in the same room as him? I stopped reading it a while ago and there’s a lot of works in my ao3 bookmarks that say deleted and I’m scared that’s one of them! Thank you

possibleplatypus sent in Need A Hand? by TeamDamon (complete | 14,555 | E)

keepyourelectriceyeonme sent in both fics mentioned in this post as possible answers

sleeplingsupernova said: (HTP)

We can't find this story anywhere anymore. It was an HTP where the Winter Soldier just got through a mind wipe and was still in the chair and a doctor was trying to give him a blow job and kept getting mad at him because he couldn't get hard. I remember reading it on AO3 but no matter what I try to search up I can't find it. Thank you so much!

Anon 9 said:

There was a story I read once where Bucky worked at planned parenthood and would escort women from their cars into the clinic, protecting them from the protesters? I can't find it and I was wondering if you guys know what I'm talking about? Thanks!

Anon 10 said:

im so sorry this is vague but im looking for a book with the cap quartet in sams house i believe? all i can remember is that bucky drags steve under a dining room table because hes trying to protect him when something makes a loud noise in the house, im pretty sure it was sam dropping a pan. thank you if you can think of it!

Anon 11 said:

Hey, im looking for a fic where steve is buckys neighbor and he has a little kid. Bucky also a kid, but he's older, maybe a teen. Bucky has a crush on steve and starts helping him out like driving him to work and shoveling his snow because he's struggling and always seems to be late to work. Ive tried hard to find it but i cant, please help!

Anon 12 said: (sex work)

looking for this fic: steve find bucky in an alley (?) and because they used to know each other he offers bucky a place to stay, but bucky thinks thinks steve wants some sexual favour in return because he’s been doing that for a while (i think he was homeless?). steve doesn’t want any of that and takes bucky to his place, i think i remember that he was rich or that it was a penthouse or smth? anyways bucky starts trusting steve again and eventually they get together. i’m worried it’s deleted 😭

cafelesbian and its-a-harlequinade sent in tell me how to breathe in and feel no hurt* by Cafelesbian (complete | 198,037 | M) *rape/noncon

ASKS 08

rip it’s a lot of stuff, some good, some weird….

Anonymous said: do you like eating ass? I bet your booty is thicc and juicy :)

idk who would even send this but ummm I’m a bottom so yeah.. that answers that wedhfnsh have u nice day/night <3

@thesimpley2k​  said: your cc is so beautiful! and you’re a britney stan :) ily sis

thank youuuuu omg ily2 lmao I don’t voice my Britney stanness much but once B10 starts getting more hyped up I’ll be back up there! Thank you again and rip original make me MV

Anonymous said: Oof I need all of your wip hairs right now            

oof you haven’t even seen half of them sweetie ;) I have 10 wip hairs as of now so like… you’ve seen 4 on this blog through edits/playlists. the rest are on my patreon and some go on my wips section in my discord (omg shameless plug im sorry but its true)

Anonymous said: Can we gift you packs through origin?

if u want?? idrk how that works tbh ;-; if u did tho like rsdfgfbvc thank you!!! I prob will only buy packs that I can use for cc from now on tbh ;-; my computer is at that point where i need to be really picky about stuff, plus imo they arent worth it wedfgdbfn i regret buying most of the SP’s

Anonymous said: Are you posting a shorter version of the Zoey Hair as shown in your latest post because it looks amazing?!!!!!

thank you!!! That is basically what the idea of it is lmao, but I think im gonna make an accessory hair clip for it too. Not 100% sure yet tho

@agentwashsims​ said: Crying over the wip hair and the grimes reference! Okay you’re still perfect and ily that it all okay bye. 

aaah thank you! grimes is so good omg Art Angels is my favorite album but there are a lot of ongs on Visions I like as well. I like a little bit of Halfaxa toooooo

Anonymous said: Hi, would it be possible for you to just reupload the lydia hair post? As it’s marked as sensitive content, I can’t see the picture and I’d really like to be able to have a look at it before I download it.

Hi! I emailed tumblr support about it since it has been over a month since it has been up for review. Hopefully they get it worked out soon <3 there is a picture of it on my download page if you want to look at it there

Anonymous said: Hey, how do I do Patreon? I want to but i’m new to all those things of Patreon cause now I want lots of hairs that need it, and I wanna learn how can I Patreon you!

Hello! Hopefully you see this haha. Patreon is sort of like Netlfix in it is a monthly charge for goods. To get 3 cc hairs early each month, it is a $1 pledge. Higher pledges get better rewards(such as watching me work on cc, getting to vote on hair releases, and more). I think that Patreon is a great way to help support creators as long as they do it right (no exclusive CC). I really hope this helps you and thank you so much if you decide to pledge any ammount <3

Anonymous said: When are going to upload your maxis match hairlines? Like in a post

oml I am horrible lmao I deleted them and don’t seem to have them backed up, but I will maybe make more in the future?? I honestly don’t find them that usable on most hairs but everybody is different so we will see <3

Anonymous said: Is the black braided hair on your April Playlist a WIP? If not WCIF it cuz it’s gorgeous <333 Ily.

issa wip for Juneee

Anonymous said: how old are you?

18 d2f m4m

Anonymous said: What is your Origin ID?

spotharris

Anonymous said: Hey! I 🖤 ur content btw and I wanted to just like clarify something. Ur posts say u can recollect but don’t include the mesh. What does that mean exactly??? Do people still need the mesh for the recollections to show up in game?? Sorry if this is really dumb, I’m a new simblr. Thx!            

hey!! sorry for the super late reply omg, welcome to simblr!! it is kinda crazy here but hopefully u can find ur peeps and make a nice home :) anywaysssss i think u mean recoloring, which is like when people add different colors other than the 18 EA base colors. I don’t allow people to use the meshes mainly bc I know that sometimes I have to go back and update things and this way the recolors don’t have a broken mesh and require that person to redo their package.

Anonymous said: whose ur fave member of lOoNa

my rankings as of right now: Kim Lip, Go Won, Olivia Hye, JinSoul, HyunJin, Chuu, HeeJin, Choerry, HeeJin, HaSeul, ViVi, and then YeoJin

also omfg if u have jinsoul/kim lip/choerry limited edition mix&match photocard and would like to gift me it then umm PLEASE they are impossible to find and i need for my collection ;-;

@disneynsims​ said: I am also a massive Britney Spears fan, and I have to say I appreciate you naming your hairs after her songs. I do make one small request, that a hair eventually be named after one of her best bonus tracks, “Up n’ Down”.

omg Up N’ Down is one of my least favorites on femme fatale grfbg but thank you!! I don’t really name hairs after her songs anymore :(

@issharky​ said: you’ve improved so much over the time! ive been following (on tsr and tumblr since i joined) since like 2016! ♥ still love your blog!            

ygvhbjn i didnt have a tsr but go awf lmao thank you!!! i was a mess in 2016 and a lil of 2017 <3

Anonymous said: Ur such a babe austin            

thx for sending this @dogsill​ ur a babe too 😘

Anonymous said: Discord? Patreon? And this are how a good simblr die

oof discord is literally like a groupchat thing but go off also patreon makes it so i release 3 hairs a month when before it was like 1 or 2 so ummm

Anonymous said: I have recently downloaded blender to make cc hairs, but I can’t zoom in, rotate, or do anything basically. Do you know of any tutorials that explain how to use it well/ in detail? (I have a windows laptop). Anyway, I recently discovered your hairs and I am in love!! Thank you for making so many beautiful pieces of cc!

urgg i really wish i could make video tutorials and stuff for blender and hairs :( I have tried about 3 or 4 times to record/stream and it is so laggy and just pure shit on stream and twitch. I kind of just learned stuff as i went in blender but a must have is a mouse of some kind, otherwise it is 10x harder

@alexschmidt629 said: Hey! I hope you’re doing a bit better than the last time you made your last post! I’m sorry to hear about all of that, being a senior is so difficult and college stuff is even more difficult. I hope you’re doing better!

thank you! I’m doing a bit better now :)

Anonymous said: holy shit it sounds like everything that literally could’ve gone wrong did. wishing u love and luck bb. and also i think its absolutely FINE that u put ur stuff up on patreon early, it’s still free in the end!! its just a choice to actually compensate cc creators for all that they do for us. god that person was just so rude and im kinda surprised at how kindly you took it. props to u xx 

yeah dsgf everything kinda went shitty the past few months but hopefully it all turns itself around :) and I try not to pick at any rude anons/asks in general bc I feel like by doing that it just causes more attention on the issue and more people/trolls want to jump on the band wagon. Thank you!!

Anonymous said: Oh honey, you need prayers and I wish you the best of luck with fasts, college, moving, and the rest of your life. Stay strong hon you got this!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

thank you <3

Anonymous said: hi is there a version off the Ella hair that has a bun in the back or am I crazy? probs crazy honestly, but thx for answering

I think you are thinking of my Maja hair? It has a different bottom but it has those same bangs! It is here

it's theory anon,hi!!how are YOU?i'm really good rn thanks:)) thank you for your kindness again,i'm really happy i could somehow help to help you feel even a tiny bit better and hope you're doing well now,too(and it's ok to not rest on your day off but it's also ok to do so if that's what you feel is right for you atm!).about the mf(ilm), i thought the same thing, it felt like a parallel universe type of story!i also really love plotlines about friendship, (again cont.i'll try to be briefer!)

(i’m so sorry i wrote a rly long reply so i’m gonna put this under read more !!)

2. friendship is beautiful and i feel oftentimes underappreciated(but not mx!there they go again being amazing) so i love the concept. personally i like not knowing what exactly the producers were thinking because having my own interpretation of something and seeing other ppl have their own fills me with wonder,like,that's art!so many people think so many different things and no one's wrong i love it!!your thoughts about them appreciating everything they've done so far,you're absolutely right(cont) 3. i hope they are able to bc everything's so hectic for the.i get lost just looking at their official schedule,i don't know how they do it but i also hope they are aware of all these things bc those are all mindblowingly huge accomplishments in my opinion and i just want them to feel like their hard work is worth it,yknow?(is this comprehensible?)and i know they feel pressure because as you said the business is nasty but yea i hope at the end of the day they can feel like (cont.???again 4. everything they've put so much of themselves into is worth it,i love their energy and fierce determination and i just don't want them to lose it but maybe as you said feel less pressured..but then the only way would realistically be to make sure they get awarded in the Real World so we're all doing our best in the system&hating it as you said:/ they just mean so much to so many people i want them to feel that too!i try to contain myself but here i go again! sorry it's so long AND i have more(con 5. also!thank you for your big reply and sharing your thoughts i mostly just agreed with (but you're right so what else can i do),i don't have mbb friends to vent to and fanperson(is there a gender neutral term for fanboy/fangirl?) over mx with and this is really nice and fulfilling(again,if i'm boring you,you can just delete the messages and not reply!) so THANKS!it's great to strive to be a better person but i feel like one(you) should also acknowledge the good things they're already doing(cont?) 6. you showed such pure kindness and really melted someone's(my) heart and that's a Big Deal!djkghddgwe can agree that we both inspired each other :') also please i feel like you're such a wonderful soul and you really deserve every bit of gratitude and appreciation i managed to express(i feel a lot moreprobably) so!yeah!reminder that you're lovely and deserve to be appreciated and i'm also very,very happy you're here!you made my day brighter for the 2nd time now wow!thanks! i hope you and(cont.:() 7. your gorgeous heart are taking good care and enjoying your day/night! and this cb!i really like it i haven't had time to listen to the entire album but jealousy!is a bop honestly it's my type of jam and the choreo is stunning and so are their voices!iwas so skeptical about the lyrics(they could've been like hero or stuck and those made me a bit >:/ honestly) but i really should've known they wouldn't fail me in any way ever!i can't wait to hear the rest of the songs i hope you enjoy them too!bye

hi theory anon, it's nice to hear from u again ! firstly, i am so sorry for the slow reply to this ! but im rly glad to know that u are doing good :-) i'm doing ok too thank u !! how are u ? kfjjfdsjfdf sorry that u had to read my tags but thank u for saying that !! i just feel so guilty when i do nothing bc im absolutely terrified of time passing too quickly ? just the thought of letting a few minutes go to waste is overwhelming ? even though i know it's not rational to think like this but ??? theres just this constant feeling that im running out of time so i try to get rid of it by always doing smth ?? and feel bad when i dont ? idk ?? but anyway im working on it and ill be ok ! sorry..not to be dramatic and tmi and all that kjdfdj istg this blog gives me too much freedom to say...too much :( (hope the internet folks that collect metadata never read the garbage i write bc..yikes they aren't gonna hav the best time) anyway..yea. what a paragraph to start off this reply :( sorry for the honesty and saying so much all the time btw :( not that being honest is necessarily a bad thing but ! idk every time i write smth i suddenly feel extra self conscious and feel like deleting it bc im rly embarrassed and always end up having big regret later when i reread anything ive typed up !! but i just keep writing them anyway bc...idk ?? i'd rly hate it if someone got discouraged from sharing their thoughts/worries/feelings which i think is a rly important human thing :( so  yea im rly embarrassed w anything i write but i'll keep doing it anyway bc i'm all for that kind of stuff and sometimes i know its not easy and it takes someone a lot to share that and its a good thing and i dont ever want anyone to feel discouraged from doing that ! anyway i just felt like i rly needed to say all of this..but pls dont feel obliged to reply to this mess !! anyway back to mx ! you are right :( i also hope mx feel like what they've done is worth smth w/e their definition or standard of that is :( like.. all of the hard work they've put into being mx it certainly means so much to fans but i hope all the hard work they've put into being mx also means smth to them at the end of the day and they are happy w what they're doing and what they've achieved so far :( and yes we'd love mx to always be rewarded in the real world :( though we love them and we want to get them a win, i know that everyone has their commitments, means and different circumstances and we can only do so much :( but even if u think its just a small contribution, everything adds up and counts and i know that all mbb hav contributed in some way in helping them get another win for this cb ! there are some mbb who can't buy albums or streaming passes and things and i hope they don't feel bad for this :( even if all you can do is watch the mv once or twice, even if you could only vote, i hope you know that it all counts and matters !! abt mx's schedule, i get tired just by looking at their weekly one idk how they can even put up w it all ?? after this they'll hav their japanese album and things and then they'll have their concerts and on top of all that apparently [some of them are also studying] ????? they are so hardworking :( HOW do they do it !! just..thinking abt their schedule is overwhelming !!! also pls dont think that you're boring me or anything like that :( im so thankful for any msg i receive and the fact that u actually took the time to type out smth to send to me ?? im so grateful ?? u are never boring !! honestly even if u sent me a stainless steel dishwasher manual w the page length of like..23 bibles, i'd still love u for it and i'd prob read all of it :( btw thank u sm for saying all those kind things !!! receiving kindness for the 3rd time is rly !!!!!!! and once again i've done nothing to deserve it :( i dont even know what i can say to you that will ever be enough to thank u again or to top what u hav already said ! if there was like a...maslows hierarchy of kindness of smth, ur at the very top of that triangle and anything i say will never be as kind as what you have said !! for you, i can agree that we both inspired each other :-) but really thank u so much from the bottom of my heart :( i hope you know how kind and lovely u are too ! if nobody told u this today, i wanted to say that im rly grateful to know u and i'm happy that you're here !! thank u again for being so kind and thoughtful and for making me smile !! :( same, i havent properly listened to the whole album either bc ive just been letting it stream in the background (but i dont count that as a proper listen unless i listen w headphones tbh) ill give it a good listen one day ! also im a repeat 1 kind of garbage person until i feel the need to listen to a new song ?? and rn jealousy to me is a song that gets better w every listen ??? shes too powerful atm :( one day ill listen to another song but today is not that day ! Actually.....I think jealousy is my fav mx song ???? before this cb i didnt hav a fav bc i couldnt pick the song i liked most out of blue moon/blind/fighter/incomparable. i was just gonna base it off the one w the most play count out of those 4 but now i know its jealousy ! what are ur fav mx songs ?? btw i know im always saying that anything mx releases is always a masterpiece no matter what, but in all seriousness its ok if u didn't like smth they released. i don't think it makes u any less of a mbb if u didn't enjoy a certain release or if u only liked one aspect of a thing but not so much the rest of the thing. anyway not to sound so...stale and commonplace but for lack of a better word/sentence, at the end of the day your own reactions and feelings to a piece of art like music...it's all just subjective isnt it ?? not liking that thing doesnt mean that its not a masterpiece or its any less of a masterpiece to someone else either so !! it's ok !! anyway this is rly....ive written a lot and its all over the place and incoherent probably :( i'm sorry !! feel free to reply whenever u feel like it, or no pressure on never replying at all btw ! also feel free to disagree w anything i say ! thank u sm for talking to me abt mx bc ive also got no mbb friends so !!! thank you :( theres so many times where i rly want to start a conversation w someone but im too scared and also i've got no clue abt how to initiate conversation ! and the times when i do manage to...i get stuck on how to keep the conversation going ? but when i figure smth out then im coming for u @ friendship !! i hope u had a good weekend and that you got some rest and that ur doing ok wherever u are !! until next time, take care ❤️❤️❤️