#anyway. these r from yesterday
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like what was that man (jjk...s2 spoilers..)
like. really.
#this is when i fell for him. btw.#LIKE REALLY. REALLY. WHAT WAS THATTT#i kind of despised toji until that. dude. what the hell#jjk s2 spoilers#AUGHHUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HE CARED SO MUCH ABOUT HIS SON. I KNOW ITTTT AUGHHH GGGGHHH UGHHH#hes so stupid. need him.#UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAOHHJ#anyway. these r from yesterday#im. going to try and watch a few more eps today if not on the weekend lol
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pls i need to provide updates
#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year#and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire#and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f#friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl#acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what#are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and#friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me!#LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after#everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to#invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me#i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother#and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids#so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo#any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷♀️#but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd#and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk#THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date#w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a#few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay#scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK#like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl#like is that even doable#but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much#.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us#god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x#but it would be soooo funny#I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed#popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x#i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like#its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe
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The fact that the last time we heard Laudna have a conversation was episode 32. The last time we heard her voice is already so long ago. And her serious conversation with Ashton, where she wasn't her usual chipper self, was pretty much the last real conversation she's had. AHH
YEAH she didn't get any semblance of a last moment with imogen which kills me. the last thing she said was trying to offer the crown to otohan, this desperate last-ditch attempt to make it stop, to save her friends, to help her family. the last thing she did was step back into the fray to heal her friend, and she paid for it with her life
a bit of a tangent but it is generally very Ow to think about how big of a role laudna played in the ultimate survival of the rest of the party. wither and bloom postponed several death saves, including the last one for chetney which is what really made otohan take notice of her. at the end of it all she really did sacrifice herself to save all of them, even if that wasn't necessarily her conscious intention – she was acting on instinct and her instincts were selfless up to the very end
#it's so so poignant from a narrative perspective but also NOT POIGNANT ENOUGH FOR ME TO ACCEPT IT!!!#was telling lucy yesterday that i'd eagerly sacrifice all the potential juicy fallout from laudna's death if it means we get her back#which goes without saying but i'm saying it anyway#anonymous#ask#answered#critical role#cr3#nova shh#cr meta#cr spoilers#laudna cr#r: bells hells#angst tag
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twirling you very gently!! thank you for kind words auth wah :']! hoping for good things for you!! wishing you all the best forever and ever <3
thank you friend !! -auth
#ask#i think this bracket is so funny from our perspective as a system like. Esprit is our dog. I'm getting my ass kicked by yhe family pet LMAO#it actually let e-chem start working on its doodle page yesterday so hopefully we'll have that finished soon#because i cannot stress how animal like it looks I'm not being mean it is Literally Ouppy HDJSKSKD#anyways!! having fun w it all#things will not go this way in bracket 2 I'll tell you that much. pansy and i will have a large roll to play bc we r God's Special Creature#[aka. e-chem's faves FHSJSJD]
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ive involuntarily become a morning person bc i keep waking up at like 5-6am nd cant go back to sleep LOL
#i tried i guess#i feel more rested but still tired#cuz i napped from like 4:30-6? maybe yesterday after therapy nd then like 7-9 or smth idk smth jank lmao#much needed rest#then I went to sleep around 2:30 or 3am lmaooo and then i woke up on n off a few times and then woke up officially at 6:30am OK..#Lol#anyway 730 im getting up now so icN eat a small breakfast and#Possibly if i have time i will go buy a ballpoint pen bc i do not have a single black ink pen in my apt that i like atm#i like the pilot pens that r like .38 size theyre perfect but ive gone thru all of themm nd dont have a single extra one#laying around so ive been using like red or orange ink pens for my notes but i want a black pen lol#so
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Glazed stuff from last time
#dirt stuff#was mostly disappointed by this batch but WHATEVER. My mom likes them.#my faves r the green mug the crater mug and the vase. It’s my first base lol#class yesterday did not go great I had a migraine and didn’t manage to throw anything. I got to talk to the girl from my last class which w#s nice. she seems really nice#VASE not base#anyway Idk how to befriend people?? I am very socially inept. yesss. Anyway look at my things#ALSO there is a mug that I forgot to pick up and a bowl that looks cool but has a ton of pinholing in the bottom. F
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pokes at the readers of my fic. comment something
#lucky.pdf#got like 13 kudos today and yet naught a single comment. unless one of the ones that r in my head as being from yesterday were actually#after the kudos email goes out#anyways. how am i supposed to know if ppl notice my subtleties if they dont comment about them... smh#(also as a note i dont actually mind if u dont comment much i am also kind of shit at commenting. its more a collective thing yk)#<- i say this like the fic isnt being read primarily by randos on ao3. which is why i feel fine making this post lmfao#fr those of you unaware i posted somethin yesterday in a new fandom. scarey
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gmoooorniiiinggggg. sleep was noooot kind to meeeeee
#'hey remember that issue u dug up yesterday? cool. ignore this comedically large hammer rq'#everyday i go ':] oh well it wasnt That bad; ican barely remember what happened!' <- girlie why thefuck do u think that is...#anyway atleast my dreamself retained Some agency from Being An Adult bc they just fucking left and got a snack. thank god. good 4 u.#\o/ we r gaining Self Respect!!!!! astounding!!!#anyway its not even 6 yet but thaaasts cool. ive done worse.#piktalk
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Man I want nothing more than all of my s/is to meet each other because the conversations would be insane 😂💖💖💖 Specifically rn I'm thinking about my Sonic s/i and Crash Bandicoot s/i meeting, of course both of them serve (and date) an evil scientist hell bent on world domination, but the DIFFERENCE in how they see their evil hubbies couldnt be more night and day 😂💖💖
#agent ramirez like 'ohhh the doctor is the most intelligent man on earth and he's soooo hot and id do anything for him 🥴💘💘'#and r. marie just goes 'i threw cortex out a window the other day. when he finaly found his way back to the castle we made out for 2 hours'#and agent ramirez is like 😧#hrnsjxhhdnfj anyways i gotta get ready for work now 😂 wish me luck i think i got mild whiplash from the turbulence yesterday✌️#ruby rambles#🍒🤖: modify and sever#🍒🧠: evil does it better#💜: the man of my schemes#💜: what your evil built in me
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ok ok FINEE ill make a g*ojo girlie anything for pookie i GUESS!! <3
#leg.txt#*personal#said with pure love of course hehe <3 anyway!! guess who is FINALLY watching j*jk !!!!!!!!#IM SLOW AS SNAILS BUT MY SIB AND I BINGE WATCHED FIVE OR SIX EPS STRAIGHT (when i left off i was on ep2??)#i think it was like 2ish and then i went to my room to sleep and like GOOOJOO i would give my kidney for him im so serious#minako my t*oji girlie your brother is so important to MEE#anyway onto the g*ojo girlie mins future sister in law NDHNKJHDN#trying to think of her thing i mean f*lemeth/m*orrigan d*ragon age's abilities but make it j*jk would be fun?#or biomancy maybe? i was playing r*ogue trader and the p*syker powers would be a neat concept?#that or technomancy?? could be fun??????#if i went the flem/mori route making her mom be sort of like flem where she takes the bodies of her daughters to keep her immortality HMM#anyway all this to say besties I SEE THE VISION NOW i did before but i am PERCEIVING for realsies this time!!!!!!!#i am thinkin that whatever i dont choose i may give to a possible n*anami girlie and minako becomes a full time t*oji girlie <3#t*oji AND ch*oso for minako <3 VERY excited to develop her and her relationships with her men!! peachy keen dream babiee!!!! 🌸💕#sorry besties about all of the asterisks jnsahd i was like YEESH on having this in the tags :') anyway i hope yall are well !!!!!!!!#off to the r*ogue trader brainworms bc HEHHEHE my girlie finally met love of her life h*einrix and HES SO!!!!!!!!#ill do a whole worms for brains yelling sesh about him later bc AHHHHHHH i would also give my kidney for him im so serious *wheeze*#hes known her for five minutes hes giggling twirling hair and giving her gifts yesterday i was SHRIEKING AT FOUR AM!!!!!!!!!#its been fun giving my brain a break from the w*itcher braiworms to prevent my burnout while i brainstorm the ye olde fic <3
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the forest looks like heaven today i woke up feeling the heaviest weight at the top of my heart
#yesterday on the study they said they were dating two others and it was going well and i cant imagine fucking you but#you have great tits. they got upset at me not inviting them to a party. my research partner told me to write a 1000 word essay on why they#should come. they spoke about how much they wanted theiir ex and they wouldnt tell me much about who theyre dating bc#they thought i still had feelings for them which. god. theyre right but the assumption is so arrogant#the streams r rly beautiful im walking to a date and shes gorgeous and some of my friends know her but i look#exactly like ive slept on my friends floor for the past few days so . aaa anyway#god after that whole call i just felt so deflated like i felt over it but now its all . back. like seeing them being happy w smn else#inflicts active misery upon me which means ii think im becoming a worse person bc of them. i called my friend and i just . idk i walked home#i kept wanting to weep but . woah the sun is so pretty#there are petals and dandelion seeds floating in the air#med school students walking to their lectures#she does biochem btw. the person im meeting now#there are two butterflies dancing together. i cant make this shit up the past few days have looked like actual heaven#ive spent them being on survival mode and not even bc of my studies like ok focus on log functions while the person kn the screen#tells u abt how if her ex were to call shed fold immediately and the new girl is a singer and its going well and maybe ill tell you#more abt it in a few months. SO YOU KNOW IT HURTS ! SO WHY WOULD YOU TELL ME YOUD MAKE OUT W ME AT THE CLUB WHY WOULD U FALL ASLEEP NEXT TO#ME WITHOUT CLOTHES ON ! WHY WOULD YOU CARESS YOUR OWN SKIN LOOKING AT ME IN THE MIRROR !!!!#anyway im like . sane.#i just . felt like it was over#i realised i kept seeing ppl who i thought were more attractive etc etc than her bc i needed to prove to myself#that im attractive enough to be liked or that i can be liked at all and a part of me wanted to prove it to them too#its just a horrible mindset to have and yh not only do they not care but they also bring out the worst in me actively like . I DONT KNOW#BUT THEN WHO ELSE KNOWS THAT THE GOLDEN HOURS IN TEHRAN ARE PINK AND LILAC WHO GOES TO TECHNO RAVES AT THE BASE OF DAMAVAND#WHO CAN PIN YOU AGAINST A WALL LIKE THEM !!!#anyway#standing up it just feels so#exhausting#like this the most exhausted ive felt from all this ever
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#again this is all my fault i had a week to do this i just can’t seem to do any work unless the deadline is within like . 24 hours#otherwise i can’t get myself to focus or care#thanks brain.#the film one will be easy though i can bullshit it bc my profs give out B+ as the highest grade apparently so i should stop writing A papers#for them and just get the same grade for less work . unfortunately i love writing papers (even though i hate it) and can never actually#like phone in a paper like even when i try to i end ip getting into it by the end#i’m so bad at just being like yeah let’s write a B paper. i canyyyyttttyt ! which is so annoying bc i’ll get a B in this class anyways bc#it’s 300 ppl and they don’t read the papers they just give everyone a B+ so WHY DO I BOTHER#praying that for the first time in my life i write a mid paper on purpose and it takes an hour or so#then i can focus the next 12 hours on the paper i both want and need to do well on#well maybe not NEED like i’d prob get an A in the class if i got a B+ or even a B maybe on the final#but it’s my last class ever (transferring😬) with my favorite professor in the world . i have never gotten below an A- from him on a paper#and that was only in my first class w him like i’ve gotten all As since so i NEEEEED to go out w a bang. seriously. i like him too much not#to!!! it’s also a topic i’m rly interested in except also i still don’t actually know my thesis. i just have 20 pages of brainstorming and#research. don’t know what i’m doing w it yet tho#agggggghh#so mad at myself — went to bed at 7 FUCKING PM by accident bc i hadn’t slept in 40 hours and forgot to set an alarm for like 6 to try and#make up for all the work i didn’t do yesterday so now here we r. aaaagggggggh#sorry for the personal vent in the tags but this is my blog i can vent if i want to (to the tune of that one song)#i’m actually insane why am i subjecting myself to this. and even worse why am i (ADHD#depression insane) transferring to one of the like 20 schools in america that’s more academically demanding than the one i’m at rn. why am#i making things worse for myself.#except blah blah blah not really i’m fine academically and honestly except for finals (which is always just a procrastination issue w me)#cld provably use smth a little more demanding at times like i need classes hard enough to actually convince my brain that i need to do yhe#readings lolll like i genuinely always Want to do them bc they’re things i am honestly super interested in i just a) am so bad at focusing#and b) am Disturbingly good at bullshitting like i typically am one of the most talkative ppl in classes despite doing 1/2 or less of the#readings.. and like not even to get a participation grade. just bc i can skim it and immediately have things to say ab it#that’s why i won a like national award in high school for a paper on a book i didn’t actually read😬 except i had WANTED! to read it!#that’s the issue like. if u know u can bullshit something how do u get ur adhd brain to get the message that u actually want to read it#raAaagh ok personal rambling over o know it’s prob annoying bc like i Do do well in school n i am grateful i just wish i was healthier ab it
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...
#sometimes u have a day thats just so. i cant even. its seems 2023 is my year of rage#directionless rage. i guess im mad at me but instead of being directed inward it just goes out into empty space#im just fucking. im at my saturation point#its a good thing i stopped taking measurements yesterday and went to the store tomorrow bc im so fucking#mostly bc i noticed a problem with the code for a paper that is fucking less than a day away from being locked in on acceptance#and now its like fucking i have to go through and change a lot and im also less than 48hrs away from another massive project starting#that will occupy my whole fucking waking nightmare of a life. so its a good thing im level headed. its a good thing i can accept my fuck#ups with honestly. bc im so fucking. ive had it. im up to fucking here with everything and i just want it to be done#im fucking full of bitterness and black bile and i want to break things. and whose fault is it? fucking mine#bc im too fucking exhausted constantly all the time to fucking pay attention to what im doing and notic that a fucking function isnt#working properly. fuck u fuck u fuck u. so what r we gonna do abt it?#idk well see what my boss says. i already texted her that news and its good bc at least i caught it but god its so fucking irritating#god. will i b told off for this? maybe. i probably deserve it. haha if so that will send me for an absolute tailspin. i cannot stand to#feel ive done something wrong. even when i kno i have. last time i had a total freakout meltdown and made v bad choices and that wasnt even#this bad. so its a good thing im currently fairly stable bc the desire to make bad choices is very strong#im just so sick and tired of everything and i want to let things implode bc im vindictive against myself. but we must not do that we must#be reasonable. so idk we may have to withdraw the paper. whatever i dont give a fuck. itll get accepted elsewhere. i dont fucking care#leave me alone to dissolve into the dirt and set my data ablaze to be helpful to no one. erase my Prospective impack. i don't fucking care#anyway today sucked. i might have to stay up all night trying to fix this. ensuring that i fuck up the start of the looming project yayyyyy#i hate it here. i stopped having fun over a year ago#itll b fine. im just fucking. im full im impotent rage#unrelated
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okay ngl i kind of really like the idea of arya and edric dayne as a pairing
#<<<< this user needs to reread the books yesterday and barely remembers ANYTHING from them#but yeah ive been seeing some of those two n...... cute...........#tbqh i never really got into g/ndrya#like i have nothing against them theyre objectively fine!! im just not invested#anyway i really want to reread the sansa and arya chapters cause those r my girls but i do want to reread the whole thing
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JS PATISSERIE 23.08 OPEN !! ♡
#kim jiseong#tan#PLEASE pretend that i posted this yesterday..thanks#bet u all thought ud have to wait until taehoon millie joint birth to see a tan edit from me ...#anyways i hope u all feel like cheesecake . happy belated birthday js ig rolling my eyes#thank u eri for assisting me as always . nd for putting up w me when i started looking at cakes#*mine#anyways all the cakes(+) r taken from star//bucks online menus i am stealing from corporations today
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this CANNOT continue 😐👎 (waking up crying every second morning or so)
#for a while now i've woken up with a wet pillow n face & a pounding headache every like. 2 or 3 days bc i was crying in my sleep and idk how#to prevent it or what's even causing it someone HELP this needs to stop.. + on top of that i woke up with a nosebleed this morning like#okay. @ body why r you insistent on battling me even when i'm supposed to be resting 🧐🤨#i'm also bruising more easily AND the indents u get on ur skin from prolonged contact with smth like sleep creases on ur face or the lines#ur socks make on ur legs are appearing quicker and lasting longer. like yesterday i was texting my mom that i'd be home later irt the train#situations & i was supporting my phone with my pinky finger and when i was done there was literally an imprint of the phone on my finger#when i'd only been holding it for like 45 seconds.........#r.txt#anyway goodd morninggg everyone ❣ i'm not concerned abt this at all 💪<- if i say that enough times maybe it comes true peace n love 🙏🙏🙏
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