“well, buggy fans are willing to forgive much worse behavior from other characters they ship him with, so that hasn't stopped me!”

And that’s the thing I kinda don’t like about buggy ships tbh. I don’t think I like them just because most of them are…. Extremely mean to Buggy? I never had favourite character like this. That’s why I kinda want just one person who would really liked my blorbo? Like does Buggy even has one genuine relationship rn? I was naive because I did thought of his crew as a little more genuine, and after marine ford my stupid brain did thought at least mr3 is not gonna left him the minute buggy out of picture. And Oda destroyed my hopes every single time. He’s not that unlikable in canon :(

(context)

yeah, you know, that's fair! some people like for their fave to suffer, and some want to protect them from the cruelty of the world. i'm somewhere in between, myself; i can enjoy a bit of buggy schadenfreude, but only if i feel like he really earned it, reaping what he sowed and all that.

…and tbh, i think this lack of genuine relationships is another reaping/sowing situation.

like, buggy had genuine connections in his youth and they all abandoned him (save one, but let's not get distracted by shuggy rn). is it any wonder he was disillusioned, and sought out bonds based on self-interest and false images of his own greatness?

when buggy was a moderately-sized fish in a small pond, he must have felt just as sure as you, anon, that he'd found the best possible crew this way. who needs sincerity or personal loyalty?! all you need is a badass facade and a common goal!

the downside to such superficial bonds only makes itself known when the illusion breaks down, or when it's no longer in someone's self-interest to support buggy.

Bathena, Athena, Sinkholes, and the general direction I see the rest of the season going for most of the firefam*

I'm not saying that a sinkhole is the perfect metaphor for a relapse that goes undetected for a long time only to have devastating consequences when it finally shows itself, but...it is. The road appears completely solid until it collapses under pressure, at which point the damage that has been building until that point becomes all too clear.

Alternatively, rather than representing actual drug use, the quietly crumbling street could easily be a metaphor for resolve crumbling under external pressure prior to the relapse itself. Pressure like, for instance, Athena's anguish over the rapist and Harry getting kidnapped and Bobby...not really having a clear role in those things beyond support because he isn't Harry's dad and Athena doesn't like to be vulnerable and ask for help. Bobby's initial feelings about the kidnapping in 5x03 were so uncharacteristically explosive, I can't help but think there was more to it than fear. It was a hard situation for him because Harry is his son but he also isn't and Michael became Athena's partner in helping to find their son while Bobby went back to work. And since the kidnapping, there has been no room for Bobby to air any of his feelings about it. And I'm sure he has many, but first and foremost, he wants to provide absolutely stalwart support for Athena (adfggdg...if they ever break up, love is dead to me).

I think it's possible that the real resolution to Athena's arc won't come until the end of the season when she is forced to confront, through Bobby's relapse, the damage that she does to the people around her when she preaches vulnerability to others but doesn't practice it herself. Just like the rapist's first victim was Harry and he escalated to Bobby, I think Harry's spiral will be the precursor to Bobby's much larger one, which will have much higher stakes and which will force Athena into the kind of self-reflection that she will only scratch the surface of while trying to help Harry. Bobby cannot be vulnerable in the relationship if Athena isn't and if Bobby is to survive as a former addict, vulnerability and honesty are key. He has to feel like Athena will love him at his lowest (I'm about to start quoting A Raisin in the Sun, but that might be premature...) and seeing Athena unable to do anything but lash out when she feels vulnerable probably won't give him that security.

(Imo, this could also tie in nicely to Madney - instead of lashing out, Maddie runs away when she feels vulnerable, but the theme is the same. Additionally, storytellers like to do things in threes and there hasn't been any groundwork laid for strife between Hen and Karen or Michael and David. I could be wrong about that, something could come up. But right now what I'm seeing is three specific characters who have, from day one, dealt badly with vulnerability - Athena lashes out, Maddie runs, and Buck self-flagellates. Whether it's Taylor or Eddie who helps Buck deal with his piece of this, YMMV, but given the small size of Taylor's role and the larger themes involved here, imo it's more likely that the two sets of threes are Athena/Buck/Maddie and Bobby/Eddie/Chim).

Anyway, I think this might be the episode where Bobby's relapse starts to rear its head. Just a thought based on the themes and the fact that Athena will likely start therapy next episode, so I don't know that the sinkhole is in time to be a metaphor for her (but maybe it is? I could be super wrong, I'm just spitballing. But. Maddie's breakdown happening at the start of S5, Bobby's happening in the middle directly after stress is placed on his relationship with Athena, and Buck's happening close to the end of the season, after he's been called on to sort of hold up the sky as all of his monuments to strength crumble around him...makes sense to me).

*by Fallout Boy

rant ramble

I haven’t rambled in a while, mostly because I turned off the “anon” feature on my tumblr.   People don’t want to send me a note and call me an asshole anymore now they can’t hide their identities from the world.  Anywho, I don’t even know where to start with this, I just have so much shit on my mind, I don’t know where to begin.   I have had the shittiest few weeks and I am walking that fine line of losing my shit on someone.   I am stuck on a fucking train once more, and I swear to fuck there is a women clipping her nails on this train.   HER FUCKING NAILS!!  I already told her to stop, because no one else has to balls to do it.   I asked her if she was homeless, because that could be the only possible reason she is clipping her nails on the fucking train.   My stupid rental car wouldn’t start this morning.   Yeah, I am driving a rental….I got rear ended on Easter weekend, so yeah Jesus and I have something in common: our easters kinda sucked.  But yeah, I got rear ended by this Mad Max looking motherfucker truck.   Fun time.   And because it was the holiday, my insurance and the renal car agency had a failure in communication, by that I mean my insurance company never told them I was coming.   So after a few hours of playing it cool I finally got a rental while my car is getting fixed.   A fucking honda civic, like fuck me.  As I told a few others I feel like a white teenage girl driving this piece of shit, I can’t even.  But I am waiting to get my car fixed, and for whatever reason the part is on back order so I am stuck driving this piece of shit for who knows how long.   Civic Nation is a horrible place, and I hate it here and yeah. I am sore.  I am working on my basement, turning it into a finished display of awesomeness and I am doing this all by myself.   I am pretty handy, I like you to know.   I am not just a pretty-ish face, I know what the fuck I am doing.   And between that and the accident, I am sore which makes me, well, more “charming” than usual. Oh, when I say “charming” I mean “smartass”. For the record, little miss nail salon is still clipping her nails.  I swear to god, if she takes off her socks and shoes and starts clipping her toenails I will go ballistic   No question, I will go ballistic on her and possibly beat her with her own shoe..

So, my threshold for stupidity is at an all time low… I can’t really deal with it.  And when I say stupidity i mean people, family, work, drama, people, the fucking works.  Speaking of work, it has been stupidly busy.  Like really really really busy.  I have been dealing with lawyers all week, and you know what? Lawyers are assholes.  Some of you may laugh at the irony of that statement, but seriously they are.   I wonder what those fellows are saying about my chaming self.   Also speaking of work, I had this more fucktarded conversation yesterday.  So we have an in-house courier to take shit around to other offices and whatnot so we don’t have to pay for a service.   I had a cheque that needed delivered and I called the courier guy to my office to pick it up and take it a few blocks away.   I said to the guy “better watch it, it’s pretty torrential out there” and he looks at me with a blank stare then said “what?”.  I replied with “it’s storming out there, we are haveing torrential rain outside”, whch he comes back at me with “Oooh, gotcha… I just never heard torrential used in that way before”.   Its at that point in time I do a double face palm and rub my face letting out a long ass sigh.  Maybe I have lived with my head up my ass for most of my life, but I want to know what other use of “torrential” he has heard.   Torrential level cheese on my nachos, please? Fuck, can you imagine? I could use that right now.

Anyways,  usually I hide it pretty well most days, my prickish nature/anger for stupidity, but as you see I am having a little trouble with it. Or maybe I am not, I dunno.  I have been called sweet, or a sweetie, once or twice in my life… and you know what? I am.  I’m so sweet like a nice bon bon.   But I am also a fucking prick. I am quite the sarcastic bastard.   I guess is its the Hyde to the sweetie Jekyll, maybe it;s a gemini thing… I dunno.  I hide it on here for the most part, I think there are times it slips through.   Do you know how many posts a day I like and write a comment on to reblog but instead of hitting sent I just cancel?  A lot. Why do I delete them? Well, I fear I may get some stupid PM or whatever wishing cancer on me (yeah, that happened).   I think people take this shit way to seriously, and fine do that.   But you need to chill the fuck out at the same time, you know? And while we are on the stuff that annoys me on tumblr, inspirational quotes bug me.   There I said it, and please don’t get offended because I don’t like them..  Don’t get me wrong, there are some I like, they aren’t all fucking poppycock or anything, but yeah… they bug me.   Maybe it’s because I think people post them to get likes rather than actually believe what the quote is saying. We all post shit for the likes, so don’t tell me you don’t It’s like on facebook, someone makes a post bout thee most lovingest spouse and how they are lucky they are to have him or her.   You know they are just typing that shit either a) convince others they are the happinest couple in the world or b) convince themself they are that happy.   When I was with my ex, back when we actually spoke hahah fuck, anyways, back when we actually spoke I asked her if we are weird because we say Happy BDay and Valentines to each other face to face and not facebook to facebook.   I honestly started to think maybe I am the odd one, then I deleted facebook and all was right in the world once more.   Those posts on facebook, I dunno, they didn’t feel genuine.   And that’s the vibe I get from some of the shit people post,  It just leaves a bad taste in my mouth and I am like ugh.   And then I write comment or something and stare at it and then cancel.   Maybe there are posts out there that I just don’t cancel? Maybe there are posts out there where I really am an asshole and the anons were right? I think some of you take your blog way too seriously, and yeah.  I dunno, maybe I am the weird one, maybe I don’t take my blog seriously enough? Maybe my “How I Tumblr” jokes are spot on? As in, I have no clue what i’m doing. Things that make you go hmmmm.  Oh, while we are talking about the inspirational stuff, if you see one that is a quote from “anonymous” well, that’s me.   I said all of those.   I am not one to seek fame and glory, because I don’t need it, but I need to bring it up.  Why? Well, some of you are throwing around my wisdom all willy nilly and shit.   

So the other day someone was ranting to me about tumblr and I was like YES!! Okay, that is a lie, there were two separate people ranting to me about tumblr and I was like YES!! EXACTLY!!  And I brought up my scenario about something and what pissed me off.   Then I explain what pissed me off more, and that was the fact I noticed the thing that pissed me off in the first place..   I hated myself for noticing this little, I dunno what to call it, quirk? This little quirk that I see.  Noticing the quirk pissed me off more than the quirk itself.   In fact, the fact I was pissed off at the quirk pisses me off now.  It’s stupid and I hate myself for hating it so much..   I am not going to get into what the quirk is but I noticed the same thing on twitter when I was on there and it just got stupid and I quit that.   By the way, everything that happens here with cliques and crushes and Doms and subs, that’s all on twitter.  I think cliques and shit like that is worse over there.   They have theme days over on twitter, where someone will come up with a start of a joke like, I dunno let;s just use “yo momma”.  So one person will send a message, or a group of people will send a message and say at 7pm EST you will start using the “yo mama” joke format and tweet shit.   Me being me I was like “yeah no” and shit just went down hill from there.   I got blackballed for not being a fucking lemming.  My twitter was HungoverLawyer.  Oh, you may have seen me reblogging a tumblr called HungoverLawyer, that’s me in case you haven’t figured it out.   Follow it, you can be one of the 10 who are, it’s an elite club.   I actually have another blog I created but I never ever used yet called Bubba-Answers-Stuff.   Basically that blog I answer others peoples questions they get asked them.   One day I was browsing my feed and I saw someone answer an anon and, well, I personally felt I could answer it better.   That answer was mediocre at best, imo.   But, it was around the time I got the cancer remarks in my inbox so I just put it on the backburner.  Maybe I will start it up, why not right? Anyways, I quit twitter over the stupidity that was over there.   The stupidity outweighed the fun.  Tumblr is pretty fucking dumb, but not nearly as dumb as twitter was. I am not going to quit tumblr, not that any of you are worried or anything, if you are well… that is pretty sweet actually.  If you are not worried, well, that’s okay… I will just cross you off my Christmas card list, so fuck you.  I kid, I kid.  You are still on the list, fuck.   I am an asshole with a heart of gold.  Did I mention I am really sweet? So, yeah, I ain’t leaving tumblr.   You’re kinda stuck with me, at least for the time being. I just dislike when a distraction is no longer a fun distraction. I don’t know why shit bugs me but it does. Maybe it is me taking this way too seriously. Maybe I’m the fucking problem? Holy shit. I just had a fucking ephiphany, wow.  I am not bitching about you, I am bitching about myself? whoa, fuck.  Nah, am fine.  You are all good.  Cept the fucktard who used to send me rude anons, you can choke on a bag of dicks.    Maybe I just need a stiff drink.   I have pizza waiting for me when I get home, and a couch.   Seriously, I am going to get undressed and eat pizza on my couch in my underwear.    Soak that in, ladies.   I know, my nipples are hard at the thought also. Anywho, I am at my station.