#anyway what else was i going to do with my 13 years of horseback riding ngl
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a very “stable” relationship - We Are The Tigers (Pt. 1, 1636 words)
pairing: evaleigh (Eva x Annleigh)
CW: horses are the main focus! otherwise, it’s just fluff! ^^
—————
“Are you sure this is okay...?”
Eva had been asking this for the past hour or so. It wasn’t unlike her to be chatty when she was nervous, but her girlfriend found this level of uncertainty rather adorable. The horseback rider was so used to being the one who needed constant reassurance. The flier was crazy smart, super talented, and generally just so charming that you couldn’t help but love her. Some days, Annleigh felt like she was just... well... Annleigh.
So, it did feel a little bit nice to get to be the confident one. Just for a little bit.
(And not at all because she liked getting the opportunity to show off for her girlfriend. Nope.)
“It’s gonna be fine!” The taller girl gave her girlfriend’s hand a squeeze as the two of them approached the large, wooden structure. Annleigh’s boots clomped along loudly, walking the familiar path. She’d attempted to offer Eva a pair, too, but the flier’s feet were much smaller than her own. Her girlfriend had just settled on her sneakers. Well, had “settled” on them after at least a forty-five minute freak out session about whether she should buy boots for the occasion. Annleigh had assured her that it wouldn’t be necessary.
“I already called Kathy and set everything up over the phone. I used to practically live here, so she trusts me to not kill you or anything. Plus, you already signed the release waiver. All we have to do is put this under the door to her office and we’ll be good to go!” Annleigh led the climatologist through the large doors, inhaling the familiar scent as she did so. Nothing like the smell of hay and manure to send you into nostalgia.
Next to her, Eva was wide-eyed. She gazed around at all the stalls with fascination, taking in all the horses. It was unfairly cute, but Annleigh had to force herself to focus. She couldn’t be distracted by her girlfriend was right now. Not when she was the one who was supposed to know what to do for once.
As they reached the office, the taller girl retrieved Eva’s waver that she’d signed last night from her pocket and slid it under the door. It was nice Kathy still trusted her so much. It had been two years since college had started, and she only got to come back to ride over the holidays. Annleigh was grateful for how hands-off her trainer was in this respect. Not that she didn’t love the woman, of course. It was just... her instructor was practically like family, after as long as she’d ridden here. The thought of introducing her to her girlfriend was almost as scary as when she’d introduced Eva to her parents.
(Of course, Eva had never made a bad impression in her life. More than anything, it would have been another ‘how’d you land such a catch’ kind of thing. Not that Annleigh didn’t think that to herself every day already.)
Beside her, her girlfriend let out a low whistle. “It’s so much bigger than I thought it was going to be. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many horses in one place...!”
Annleigh giggled, retaking Eva’s hand to lead her through the aisle. It was pretty early in the day, but the barn wasn’t too busy. A few younger kids here and there who must have been homeschooled waved in greeting to the two of them, but the arenas were both empty. That was good. Really good, actually.
As much as she tried not to show it, the equestrian was probably just as nervous as her girlfriend was. Maybe more nervous, actually. She really, really, really wanted this to go well. Eva’s interest in horses had been what the two of them had initially bonded over, back in high school. Although she’d never gotten a chance to ride growing up like Annleigh had, she was pretty sure the flier would have loved to if there’d been the option.
“And... here we are...!” Annleigh stopped in front of a stall, releasing Eva’s hand to open the feeding latch so the horse could stick his head out. The gelding, who’d been dozing towards the back wall, perked an ear up at the sound of her voice. Blinking lazily, the animal wandered over and poked his nose out, pushing Annleigh’s hand as she reached up to pet him. “Hi, buddy!” She chuckled, allowing him to sniff her hair. His breath was warm. “Okay, okay. I missed you too!”
Eva was hanging back, gazing at the horse and her girlfriend in awe. “This is your horse?”
The brunette nodded. “Mostly mine, anyway. He’s leased out right now to a few kids since we’re at college, but otherwise. Yep! This is the one!”
The gelding snorted, kicking the stall once to indicate that he was very much not receiving the ideal amount of attention. Eva jumped a bit at the loud sound. Annleigh snorted at her horse’s antics. “Goodness! Sorryyy, Mister~!” She scratched his blaze. “Where are my manners? Pegasus, this is Eva! Eva, this is Pegasus.”
Eva looked unsure of what to do, so she did a little wave in greeting. “Uhh... nice to meet you, Pegasus?” She was still gazing at him in wonder. Annleigh had to resist the urge to smile. The two of them were going to get along just fine, she could tell. The gelding loved attention, especially from people who would talk to him. It was a match made in Heaven, really.
“Here, you can come closer, if you want.” Annleigh opened the gate a little further so Pegasus could crane his neck out. She swatted him lightly as he tried to paw at the stall again. “He’s assured me that he’s going to be on his best behavior. Right, Gus?”
Pegasus gave a snort. Annleigh decided to take that as a ‘yes, Mom, of course I’ll be perfect with your girlfriend! Why would you ever worry about this?’ sort of noise. Rather than a ‘Mom, I’m going to absolutely wreck your relationship’ snort.
Please let it be the first one. Oh Lord, please let it be the first one.
The shorter girl approached cautiously, hands tucked into the pockets of the jacket she always wore. The buttons jingled a bit, metal catching the rays of light steeping in from the roof and making them sparkle. “Uhh... hey there, boy?” Eva phrased it more as a question, glancing at Annleigh for confirmation that she was approaching him correctly. The brunette had to keep herself from giggling. The whole thing was so sweet. She really didn’t deserve to know Eva Sanchez.
Pegasus, apparently, thought that he certainly did, however. He thrust his head out further, bracing his neck against the door and turning it at a ninety degree angle. It made him look like an undercooked giraffe. Eva snorted and looked at Annleigh questioningly, with a look that clearly read ‘uhhhhh.... is he supposed to be doing that?’
The rider nodded, motioning her to continue to approach him. “He’s just being silly! Keep going, you’re doing great!” With her other hand, she was digging through her pocket for her phone. She had to get a photo of this. Pegasus had always hated her Polaroid, but she’d take iPhone evidence if it meant she could film this moment. Annleigh flashed a thumbs up to Eva as the other girl reached out to pet the horse’s head.
“Oh!” The climatologist’s grin grew even larger as she stroked his nose. “He’s super soft!” She gasped lightly as he nudged her, stepping backwards a bit while Pegasus moved his lips down to nibble at her pocket. “Uhh. Whatcha doing?”
Annleigh rolled her eyes. “Gus, that is very rude.” She stopped snapping photos long enough to push his nose more forcefully away from her girlfriend’s jacket. Please, if you rip that, I will be in so much trouble—
“He thinks you might have a cookie for him. Even though he knows,” Annleigh said the second part directly to the bay, who was blinking his brown eyes innocently at her. “That he doesn’t get any until after he goes for a ride.”
The horse snorted. Pegasus had always been a little too intelligent for his own good. Annleigh could never tell exactly how much of any conversation he could understand, but it was more than enough to be a little unnerving. She glared at him to ensure another round of ‘do not mess this up for us’ was communicated. He blinked back.
... it was hard to tell if he’d gotten the message or not. Horses were hard to read.
Her girlfriend laughed, reaching up to scratch his blaze again. “Sorry, boy. I didn’t bring any treats. Plus, your mom said no.”
This did not seem to deter the gelding. Almost as soon as Annleigh had gone back to trying to film, he’d returned to his interest in Eva’s jacket. The horse seemed enchanted by her pins. As they watched, he fumbled the rainbow heart one and attempted to pull it away from her jacket, almost sending Eva toppling forward if Annie hadn’t moved forward to catch her.
“Pegasus!” She swatted him back, the bay looking entirely too pleased with himself for his own good, and moved to relatch the door. “That’s it. Five minute time out. We do not attempt to steal pins in this family!” When she closed the door, she turned back to Eva, dusting her breeches off. “Jeez, sorry about him. You go away for a few months to school and somebody forgets all their manners. I don’t know what’s up with him... he’s not usually so naughty!”
“...”
“...”
“Uh, babe, I think your horse might be homophobic.” Eva was barely containing her smile.
They both burst out laughing.
#yes the title. is just a horse pun. look it was the best i could do-#coerces you into shipping evaleigh with my intimate knowledge of horseback riding: the fic#anyway what else was i going to do with my 13 years of horseback riding ngl#anyway shoutout to the pony my friend used to have named pegasus that we called gusgus for the name#anyway i just Think That They (end sentence)#watt#we are the tigers#paige writes#watt eva#watt annleigh#eva sanchez#annleigh o'daniel#evaleigh#watt fanfic#we are the tigers fanfic#ask to tag#horse tw
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13 and/or 17 (... cowboys 🥺 pretty pls?) (but totally fine if u wanna do smthin else)
prompt list
cafune - the act of running your fingers through the hair of someone you love
cruore - it literally means “flowing blood”
It’s a warm day out, dusty and dry under an impossibly large, impossibly blue sky. Now that it’s early afternoon and the worst of the midday heat has burned off and dissipated, the town is bustling out again into the streets, in and out of shops and ducking around riders and carriages. It sure isn’t the ideal time to unleash a room’s worth of unruly children who’ve all been cooped up since lunchtime upon the town in the vague hope they’ll make it home in one piece, but in all honesty there’s no good time to do that and they’ve got to go eventually.
Ainsel will get ‘em reading and writing, but they sure as hell ain’t some kind of charitable institution for bored youths.
Opening the door on such brightness and warmth requires serious blinking and squinting and no small amount of internal sorrow as the wall of heat hits Ainsel square in the chest and invades their cool, shaded front room. Not for the first time, they consider the merits of simply opening one of the rear windows and posting the children out of it one by one; not for the first time, the idea is dismissed. The kids would enjoy it entirely too much. Said children are presently scrambling up off the floor and making a break for the door, slates and tin lunch pans hastily shoved into small satchels, baskets, or simply jammed under one arm, and Ainsel steps neatly to one side to allow them free access to the door. For all that the kids bullied Ainsel into teaching them, they sure are always glad to get out at the end of the day.
“See you on Monday, then,” Ainsel says easily. The elder Diaz boy and Mary Wilder both twist to wave at them over their shoulders, but then they’re back to corralling their littler siblings and trying to get them to hold hands nicely for the walk out of town and up to their family ranches. The other kids pay him no mind at all - just tumble out into the street and turn their faces to the sun like little sunflowers. Little Jesse Rainey turns a little circle in the dust, swirling her skirts carefully so as to show off the new printed calico to best effect; she’s a little too used to being the saloon’s darling, if you ask Ainsel, all dressed up in pink with blonde hot-ironed ringlets, but she’s also one of the brightest kids in the class at only six years old. Ainsel reckons she could be the next schoolteacher in ten years or so, if an established schoolmaster could be prevailed upon to examine her and find Ainsel’s informal schooling up to scratch.
Two of the boys have immediately begun a small scuffle, the way young boys are apparently wont to do; Ainsel sighs, and steps forward to separate them (curse all, if one of them isn’t a loose Wilder at that) - but is beaten to the punch. There’s a sharp whistle and the clink of spurs as boots go from horseback to street, and to Ainsel’s great surprise Max Wilder jumps back and sticks his hands in his pockets, looking up at the sky as his bare feet scuff at the dirty street. Were it not patently absurd, given the quantity of eye witnesses, Ainsel would say the boy was attempting to look entirely uninvolved.
Ainsel, amused, turns to raise an eyebrow at the newcomer. Will Williams catches their eye for a fraction of a second - enough for Will to roll his eyes, barely, in commiseration - and then he turns his unimpressed gaze upon the Wilder boy.
Max feigns surprise and delight well, for a nine-year-old of no particular theatrical bent; he beams at Williams with his hands tucked neatly behind his back. “Hiya, Doc,” he says through a gap-toothed smile. “How d’ya do.”
“All the better,” Will says, all dry and proper, “for knowing that you are safe at home after school and not fighting with the other boys, just like you promised me you would be. After all, we agreed on good behaviour if you were to come out to Plum Creek with me tomorrow. Didn’t we?”
Ainsel presses the knuckles of their fist to their mouth to ward off a smile as Max darts apologetically forward, spouting apologies and promises of better behaviour for ever and ever if only the Doc - that is, Mr Williams - wouldn’t tell his pa and would still take him out to the river to look for tracks. It’s more grovelling than Ainsel’s ever managed to extract from a pupil for bad behaviour, but then, Ainsel only ever promises letters and numbers, and Max seems under the impression that Williams is going to provide frogs and snakes and half a dozen other natural wonders, so.
Will scratches the back of his neck. “Well, alright,” he relents. “I - I am going to tell your pa, mind, but if he doesn’t say otherwise I don’t see why you shouldn’t come.” Max does a little victory dance and then returns to his classmates, bragging all the while about the things he’ll see out by the creek. Will himself tips his hat politely at Ainsel. “Afternoon.”
Ainsel is aware that they make Will Williams nervous. Many things do, but Ainsel reckons they do a better job of it than most folks; this is somewhat ironic, in many ways, as a fair few things make Ainsel anxious too. If they could get the measure of each other, Ainsel thinks they oughta be friends - they’d like a person to commiserate with about being thrust into a job they ain’t really qualified for, and not-a-doctor Will Williams seems like a good choice - but Williams keeps careful distance from Ainsel, even in broad daylight in a street full of children, and Ainsel ain’t hopeful. They offer a smile anyhow. “Afternoon, Williams. What can I do you for?”
Will nods gently at Miss Rainey, his own face turning gentle. “This one’s wanted at home,” he says with a smile and Jesse blushes and beams, pleased with the attention. “She’s to pick out a new ribbon at the store if she can keep tally of how much we spend and write it up neatly in the saloon books. How’s that, Miss Rainey?”
Jesse puffs up her chest with pride. “I shall have a blue ribbon like Mary Wilder’s,” she says with certainty.
Will offers Ainsel a flicker of a grin. “Jayne Rainey figures your schooling ought to be good for something,” he says, and if anyone else in the town had said it Ainsel would have winced - but Will’s got more books than clothes, same as Ainsel, so they offer a quick grin back. If only Ainsel could remember what they were doing before they woke up in Danser some years back: that way, they could say for sure if they went to college like Will, and Ainsel might feel a little less like, maybe, the local nice, nervous naturalist oughta be taking classes instead of the local amnesiac with a scary-clever horse and the books which they may or may not be qualified to own and read. Knowing that kind of thing, actually, might go a long way towards some kind of friendship with Will Williams, too.
“I figure so too,” Ainsel agrees, instead of voicing that, or anything like it. They beat down the impulse to seek answers, confess worries, force a confidence - to say hey, Williams - you wanna take a look at Edelweiss? Nah, nothing’s wrong; only, sometimes I don’t reckon she’s really a horse. You know anything about that? Only Will wouldn’t. Ainsel knows as much as they reckon they’re gonna, honestly - there was a trade, and for whatever they gave up they got Edelweiss in exchange. And maybe something else, too, but they’ll be damned if they know what.
Ainsel tries very hard to unthink that particular thought.
“Ainsel says I could keep a school,” Jesse is telling Will with pride.
“I’m sure you could,” Will replies with a little smile. Ainsel hadn’t figured Will as one for children, but then Jesse Rainey and Max Wilder are small forces of nature; if they take a liking to a person, it’s hard not to be endeared. And Jesse is the saloon proprietor’s daughter, and Will rents a room in the saloon, and Jesse is the saloon’s darling. Will shoots a glance at Ainsel. “You’re - you’re training up a replacement already?”
Ainsel inclines their head at Max Wilder, who is crouching in the dust with a stick and drawing around the hooves of Will’s square, broad-chested stock horse. Ainsel remembers Will defending his choice to Finn - Will’s horse looks more like a small draught horse than a good or fast rider, but she’s quiet and she stays still while he’s out watching animals - and indeed, though the horse is gently nosing at the boy, her hooves are staying obediently planted as he natters away at her about prints. “Should say you were, too.”
Will huffs gently at Max, who entirely fails to notice. “It was an accident. Alright, let’s get going before your parents come after me wondering where you kids are. Max, are - are you going to walk us home?”
Max bounces up, catching up the horse’s reins and bringing her over with the practised ease of anyone born and raised on the Wilder ranch. “Sure! Can I ride?”
Will carefully lifts Jesse up into the saddle. “Ladies have to ride, Max,” he corrects. “When I was little, my brother always-”
And though Will stutters into silence, Ainsel - sort of hears the rest of the story anyway. Their cards have made their way into Ainsel’s hands without them noticing and the odd paintings are switching and shifting before their eyes as they shuffle idly, and then stop. The card is of what might be a tower, and what might be a cart, and what is almost certainly a lady; the colours twist the eye and every line slides into the next until what had started as one thing is something else entirely by the end.
If you were going to play poker with these cards, you’d probably call this one the Queen of Spades.
Do not play poker with these cards.
But Ainsel looks at the cards, and the strange, illusory lines that leave only impressions, and sees with odd and abrupt clarity a young man with Will’s face but without his glasses and with a shadow of unruly stubble. He is perhaps broader than Will, too, but the resemblance is clear. And in the card, the young man grins and sweeps a small child up into a massive bear hug. He kisses the child’s hair - once plaited, Ainsel thinks, but now entirely loose and wild after a day of playing - and places them with great care and reverence on the back of a tall, thin black horse. The child, the little girl, giggles as the boy kisses her hand, says she is a princess, and runs an affectionate hand through her loose, dark hair to tidy it away before placing his hat on her head. The girl’s hands push the brim up out of her eyes - eyes which are doubtless, doubtless, Will Williams’ eyes - and Ainsel closes their own eyes, and wishes they had done so sooner.
When he opens them again, it’s just the Queen of Spades once more. Like nothing ever happened.
“Well, I, I guess you can ride behind and keep Miss Rainey steady,” Will is saying when Ainsel folds his fingers over the painted cards and looks up once more. He doesn’t seem quite so steady as he did before as he hoists Max up onto the horse’s back.
There’s no way to tell him what Ainsel knows. They wouldn’t, anyhow - Will never said, and wouldn’t thank them for disrupting the life Williams has carefully built for himself. But Ainsel would like, somehow, to communicate that Will’s big brother had seemed nice; that Will, as a kid, had seemed happy with him; that Will didn’t have to give up on his childhood and on the nice boy who had run his fingers so gently and fondly through his kid sibling’s hair, just because he’d changed over the years.
Ainsel kinda misses the memory of their own childhood, sometimes. Maybe someone had once been so affectionate with them, too.
Will catches Ainsel staring and tilts his head in query. Ainsel shakes themself and offers a small smile. “Y’all ride safe, now,” they say. “Oh, and Max Wilder - you tell your ma you’ll need shoes for the walk before the next week is out, ‘cause it’ll be getting colder and you can’t have Will Williams carting you home every day.”
“Sure will,” Max calls back, grinning and swinging his bare feet from high up on the horse’s broad, grey-dappled rear. “Bye, Ainsel!”
“Goodbye!” Jesse says, holding firm to the pommel as she shifts to look back. “I’ll show you my ribbon on Monday.”
Will just inclines his head and takes the reins in one hand.
Ainsel fidgets the cards in one hand. “Be seeing you, Williams,” they say carefully. As the party moves away, heading for the general store, the Wilder ranch, and home, Ainsel flips the top card over and over in their fingers, and hopes against hope that they wouldn’t be seeing Will Williams at all.
--
There are days, Ainsel knows, that they don’t sit fully right with Finn Holden. It’s a different kind of discomfort to wrong-footed Will Williams, but it’s there nonetheless - sometimes they catch Finn trying to look at them without looking at all, out of the corner of his eye or in a mirror or in the eyes of someone else who is looking at Ainsel, and they know that he knows that they know.
Like now: hunched over a little table in the saloon littered with glasses and an incomplete set of dominoes, just the two of them, and Finn’s looking over Ainsel’s shoulder. Ostensibly, eyeing up the liquor behind the bar; in reality, examining the back of Ainsel’s head in the smokey mirror behind the glasses. Ainsel prods the double six morosely and tries not to let it bother them. It does seem unfair, really, that Finn doesn’t bother people the way Ainsel does. That Ainsel bothers Finn, but not vise versa.
They think maybe choice comes into it. But Ainsel doesn’t even know if they made a choice, way back whenever they did whatever it was to land them in Danser Town with a horse and cards and no recollection at all of how this came to be. They might have been totally helpless to their fate, same as Finn had said he was, when Ainsel had cornered him after two weeks and demanded to know what, exactly, the fuck had happened to Finn to make him smell permanently of clay and sawn pine planks and blood.
(If Ainsel is honest with themself, they suspect that they did have a choice. They suspect they made a deal. The knowledge that their fate has been entirely self-wrought is not helpful.)
“Hey,” Finn says, looking at the table rather than Ainsel and tacking a domino on the end of the six. Is that better? Ainsel isn’t sure. “You been...well, lately?”
Ainsel regrets that Finn has cause to have concern for him. Unfortunately, there are only so many times a person can be seen screaming blue bloody murder at a horse for being a demon in passive, judgemental mostly-horse form before people start taking that person aside and asking about how things are going at home, and that number of times is one. “Grand,” Ainsel says levelly. They’re not wholly lying, either; they haven’t found themself lost and memory-less in a forest for nearly three weeks, Edelweiss hasn’t tried to bite them for their many and varied sins today, and Johnny McPherson had offered them a friendly holler across the street that had actually done disproportionate wonders for Ainsel’s mood. But, also, Finn isn’t looking at them straight. He’s looking the way that Will says you oughta, when you’re a little too close to some creature that can kill ya but hasn’t tried yet; with the kind of caution which is always recommended in old wives’ tales about ghosts and devils and the fae.
Finn nods. “Glad.” Then, abruptly, as if bored of being careful (not unlikely) Finn slumps back in his chair and eyeballs Ainsel straight on. It’s - oddly comforting, actually. “I’m sick of dominoes. We don’t even have half the damn pieces.”
They have all bar two. Ainsel sweeps the tiles together into a pile and starts dividing them into two sets of seven and a discard pile, pushing them across the sticky table with long, pale fingertips. “You want to play that Matador game Johnny was trying to teach us?”
Finn huffs. “Tryin’ is the word. If you can remember the rules, then I’m Saint Bridget. I sure as hell can’t.”
Ainsel tips their head, conceding the point. Something about sevens, and it being annoying that their set lacked the five-two; Ainsel had been a bit drunk at the time. “Well? We’ve got to play something. I ain’t gonna just sit here and talk to ya, no-one’s got that patience.”
Finn laughs, loud and inelegant, and Ainsel grins. “Aw, you ass,” he says cheerfully, spinning his glass on the table with careful flicks. “Let’s play cards or something. I’m a demon at rummy.”
“The saloon hasn’t got any cards any more, remember?” Ainsel points out.
Finn frowns. “It don’t? Why not?”
“Jesse Rainey nicked ‘em and gave out the picture cards to the other kids as favours. And, also, as a kind of basic hierarchy system, far as I can figure it.”
“Aw, hell. Why does that kid get away with everything?”
“Y’all reckon she’s cute.”
Finn grins. “She is! It’s like being mad at the kid on the Pear’s soap ads, or a gopher.” Ainsel spreads their hands - well, there you go - and Finn laughs. “Alright. You got cards, though, right?”
Ainsel rides the sudden lurch of horror at the idea of anyone else even seeing the cards, let alone using them. But - they want Finn and Will and everyone else to see them as normal folk, they gotta Be Normal. Have a normal horse, and a normal life, and normal playing cards. Any number of things can cause amnesia - hitting your head real hard because your horse, which maybe hates you, kicked you or bucked you or something. Trauma. Heatstroke. Normal shit, which ain’t magic no matter how much you side-eye it or examine it in mirrors. Finn might’ve just - imagined it, or had a vision like some religious folks do. Ainsel could have dreamed up any number of things and thought them real - what he’d seen of Will could be nothing. Probably says more about Ainsel than it does about Will anyhow.
Be Normal. Ainsel reckons they can do that. Most all other folks seem to.
Ainsel brings out their pack from the inner pocket of their duster, shakes out their wrists with a confident movement, and manages two whole shuffles before dropping most of the pack. The beautiful cards flutter and spin as if caught by some wild, summer wind and scatter over the table and floor in an unstoppable cascade. Finn tips his head back and laughs like a hyena.
“You’re the clumsiest fuckin’ card shark I ever seen,” he says delightedly.
“I am not a card shark,” Ainsel says rather absently as they scrabble to collect up the cards on the table.
Finn snorts. “I believe it! But what else you carryin’ all these damn cards all the damn day for, huh?” He gets off his chair and drops to the saloon floor, hunting down Ainsel’s precious cards before they get trampled or lost between the boards.
“I don’t know,” they bite back rather crossly; one of the cards, the Jack of Hearts, has just jumped away from Ainsel’s grasping fingers and they have to stand and lean over the table to snatch it up from Finn’s chair. Ainsel glances at it habitually as they sit back down and briefly forgets how to breathe.
The card, like every other, is not a standard face card. The young knave depicted always seems to form out of the swirling lines upside-down, no matter how Ainsel looks at the card, with an inverted heart on his chest like a drop of ruby-rich blood. And for a moment, whilst Ainsel watches, the Jack looks out at them with Finn’s eyes that are not Finn’s eyes. The heart pulses, once, and slides away and dissipates; the eyes go dark and glazed; and Ainsel is looking at a dead man in a churchyard. Some shadow oozes into the edges of the card and at the same pace blood leaks thick and dark from the man’s chest. There is no helping him; he is gone. Ainsel knows it. And then, he sits up. Abruptly, like he’s awakening from a nightmare. He inhales hugely, or tries to, as though he had been drowning, but chokes on his own blood. The man spends quite some time on all fours, coughing and retching and hacking up blood, but this slows and he sits back on his haunches to assess the pool of blood. He wipes at his chin with the back of his hand and grimaces - not with pain, more like disgust. And then he looks up - and this time, it is Finn with Finn’s eyes who is looking straight out of the card at Ainsel.
Ainsel’s fist closes around the card, barely managing to avoid crushing it. They look up in time for Finn’s head to appear in triumph over the edge of the table, clonking his temple gently against the underside as he does. Finn brandishes a handful of cards at Ainsel with a grin, and Ainsel sees him bleed out and wake up over and over in their mind.
They take the cards. Slide the pack back together. Tuck them deep down in an inner pocket.
Finn blinks at them for a moment. “So no cards today, then.”
“No,” Ainsel says shortly.
Finn nods solemnly. “You wanna talk about it?”
Absolutely fucking not. Ainsel slides the dominoes back across the table a little too violently, sending ivory tiles skittering against their empty glasses and shoves a couple Finn’s way. Finn, who is alive and well and not all that damn normal either, so damn it all; maybe no-one in this town is normal enough to start shit with Ainsel, and everyone ought to fuckin’ remember it. Ainsel fixes their gaze on the base of a glass, in whose curving reflection they can watch Finn without actually looking at him. “Come on, Saint Bridget,” they say roughly. “Double six starts.”
There is a short pause, and then Finn’s hand closes over the glass which Ainsel is using to look at Finn without looking at him, and they can’t see Finn’s reflection anymore. “Alright,” Finn says quietly. “Matador it is.”
#cowboy content (yeah!)#ainsel's creepy as hell what fun#the supernatural's creeping in chaps#or is it#i'm aiming for ambiguous truth#hope you enjoy! playing with other people's ocs is funa dn also nervewracking#*fun and#this is your captain speaking#a town called danser
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tagged by: literally no one but i wanted to do this anyway lmao ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
tagging: @justalittlemercy @capnnrogers @sargebvcky @littlelottielost
1. do you make your bed? 2 out of 7 days? and whenever people are coming over
2. what’s your favorite number? 5
3. what’s your job? i work in retail, selling shoes
4. if you could, would you go back to school? i’m hoping i can go back to school this fall actually, if i get in to the stuff i’m applying for *fingers crossed* it’d be nice to do something other than retail lol
5. can you parallel park? yikes i don’t even have a drivers license
6. a job you had which would surprise people? i strongly doubt it would surprise anyone but i worked as an ~assistant at a preschool for a while before i ventured into retail
7. do you think aliens are real? yes
8. can you drive a manual car? i mean, i still don’t have a license but yeah i can sort of drive a manual, i guess. i know how to drive, at this point it’s just a matter of me not feeling like paying for driving lessons and shit. the only cars i’ve driven are manual so yes xD
9. what’s your guilty pleasure? cheese and wine
10. tattoos? i really want one but i am indecisive af
11. favorite color? black
12. things people do that drive you crazy? showing up unannounced and spontaneous visits - like... 9 times out of 10 i want you to come over but pls let me know first so i can mentally prepare myself lmao.
13. any phobias? spiders definitely, insects in general tbh. and i have trypophobia... like i just googled the word (trypophobia) to make sure i spelled it right and i nearly fucking threw up because of the pics that came up (: (pretend that’s an upside down smiley)
14. favorite childhood sport? horseback riding (did that for 10+ years) and soccer (played soccer for 5 ish years)- both of these are still my favorite sports btw
15. do you talk to yourself? in this pandemic? oh for sure, who else am i gonna talk to? but also yeah, i live alone so yeah... it happens lmao
16. what movies do you adore? there are a handful of movies that i’ve watched a 100 times (or more) and i can still watch them without thinking they’re boring... that’s jumanji, sister act 1 and 2 and jurassic park (the first three movies, not the new ones)
17. do you like doing puzzles? i’m not sure i’ve done a puzzle since i was like 10?
18. favorite kind of music? omg please i have a different spotify playlist for each and every one of my moods. i can’t even tell you what’s my favorite... maybe slightly depressing indie music rn? idk... some days calls for metal, other days call for 90′s hip hop and rnb, you know?
19. tea or coffee? coffee!!
20. what was the first thing you remember you wanted to be when you grew up? famous lmao and now instead i’m this anxious fucking mess who’s been suck at the same ol boring job for way too long... working on it tho. slowly but surely.
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I was tagged by @cupcakecurl, thank you so much! I’ll try to remember to tag you whenever I am tagged the next time!
It’s a long post so I put it under the “keep reading” link.
1. Do you ever make your bed?
No. I have a loft bed so no one can see to there (unless someone is like 2m tall but I barely have visitors and especially not that tall people lol. Or maybe bit shorter people too but since I’m very short, I can’t see there :D) so there’s no point in making the bed. Plus I tend to sweat a lot during some nights so I like to leave the bed “open” so it can dry properly.
2. What’s your favorite number?
13. But also 23 and 123.
3. What’s your job?
Currently I’m on a sick leave but my “profession” is horse groom.
4. If you could go back to school, would you?
Ummm, I’ve been to plenty of schools but with a bit bad success... I actually love studying and learning but I don’t like schools nor going to schools. So I’m constantly wanting to learn and study but every time I’ve been accepted into a school, I have asked myself "why tf did you have to do this again when you know you hate this all???” as every time I face the same concentration problems with essays etc.
5. Can you parallel park?
Yes, but I prefer not to do that on a busy road since I start fucking up things when I feel like I have to hurry because I’m bothering other people. So only when there’s not other cars going everywhere I will do that, otherwise I’ll find another spot to park.
6. A job you had that would surprise People?
I haven’t really had that weird jobs, all of them have been about horses tbh. And I haven’t done a real job ever anyway, just work trainings and school related trainings. But I might say here that before I figured I want to work with horses, I was trying to study animal caretaking and that certain branch was focusing on farm animals. So I have actually been to a cowhouse with milk cows and I have been milking them and worked with cows and calves there a lot as it was a huge part of my school. I also know how to drive a tractor and how to reverse with a trailer attached because we did this A LOT at school and we had to do this again when I was studying in the horse school and it was one of the tests to reverse a tractor and the trailer had to go into an imagined “barn”.
7. Do you believe aliens are real?
Yes. I mean, this universe is such a huge place, why the fuck not??? I actually had this thought from a very early on that there must be life out there somewhere and I’m pretty sure they are aware of us all but let’s be honest, if you was from an another galaxy and found out there’s a this small planet with some puny people on it, would you want to get to know us? No, I don’t think so. If we have to kill each other for stupid reasons, do you really think humans would suddenly agree being friends with aliens too? So I still believe they are out there and are aware of us but don’t really bother meeting us nor even letting us know about them because humans are the most idiotic animal on this planet. If you look at all these scifi movies already (witch a few exceptions) and how we always imagine the aliens: if they are hostile, they are unintelligent, can’t talk and will make monster noises and they will look like monsters. If they are friendly, they are super intelligent, can talk or use even telepathy to talk to us and they are humanoids, never monsters. I guess we’re just so scared of them we’re obsessed with this idea and we’re scared they would be more intelligent and still hostile at the same time...
8. Can you drive a manual car?
Yup, I have only ever had a manual car and I actually have never driven an automatic car. I’ve no clue how they work :D In Finland you can choose between a driver’s licence to manual or automatic car and with manual you can drive them both, with automatic you can only drive automatic cars. (Do people say automatic car or should it be “with automatic gears”?)
9. What’s your guilty pleasure?
I was thinking about this a lot and I think I will agree with the person who tagged me and also say male/male pairings and shipping. But I don’t want to give the same answer (I think there was a really good points!) so I think I’ll go with an easier one: this doesn’t happen that often anymore but when I was still studying and working 4-5 days/week.
We were always listening to radio at work and we usually used channels with music from the 70s and 80s, maybe also 90s and sometimes even older than that. Once one of the workers left the place, we all started using other channels cos everyone was so done with that one particular radio channel :D Anyway, my guilty pleasure was that some songs sometimes stuck in my head, often from old and really popular bands that I couldn’t even link to the band itself. And I really hate earworms when they are not music I normally like to listen to, so I often get really frustrated with them and I start my hunt for the songs so I can listen to them and maybe finally remove it from my head. And here comes my guilty pleasure: reading the youtube comments to some really old songs’ music videos. They are often just so damn hilarious I was often dying from laughter when I did that! And it’s bit sad too because I would have loved to share with them other people but either they would have not understood the youtube comment humour or if I brought it up to someone who actually liked the music, they would just get offended. So I actually realize only now how often this was happening with the songs and I’ve found some really hilarious comments from there too!
I also had several songs I kinda liked to listen to when they were playing. That is something fun too because I wouldn’t say they are guilty pleasure songs but more like... just something for myself you know? I’m often really open but sometimes I like it more when I can keep things only to myself. And it somehow cheered me up when I was driving my car or working in the stable and then heard one of those “guilty pleasure” songs that I could enjoy and at the same time enjoy of the fact no one knew I was enjoying them! I guess I like it because I’m often feeling like being way too visible and I’m afraid that I give away opinions and feels without saying them aloud and what I really want to keep to myself, so that makes me feel REALLY good when I know no one can read me!
10. Tattoos?
No. And not gonna have either. I have a fear of needles and pain, I used to have one pair of earrings and even that was terrible enough. And painful.
11. Favorite color?
Orange, almost like the neon orange; electric blue, and black.
12. Things people do that piss you off?
Ohhh are we talking about pet peeves now? I usually am very calm and it’s hard to make me angry but I’d say that what REALLY pisses me off is when someone/people don’t listen to me. And I mean when they literally tell to my face they don’t care, they don’t want to hear, and that I should shut up. That is what makes me really furious even. One of those rare things that make me really feel like I need to start smashing things. Also people talking over and not listening overall is something a bit annoying but I can take it, but not when it’s intentional. Also I’m very stubborn and sometimes not getting what I want makes me angry too since I kinda got used to that as the oldest siblings, but at the same time I am aware of this and I don’t think I’m surperior or anything. Just some things I need to pay more attention to about myself.
13. Any phobias?
Fire (pyrophobia), needles and sharp objects (aichmophobia) and social anxiety (social phobia), for the starters.
14. Favorite childhood sport?
I had none. I liked badminton tho but just like... a few times in a summer and then I forgot about it again. And as a pre-teen I actually was horseback riding regularly for about half a year. Then a pony threw me down and it was my first time falling of a horse and of course I had to break my arm. Since that I have fallen just once but I don’t really like riding that much, driving is more of a my thing now.
15. Do you ever talk to yourself?
Not really, I laugh aloud more often but I don’t really talk to myself. I don’t like hearing my voice when I’m alone, it triggers my depersonalization/dissociation.
16. What movie do you adore?
Oh what movie I wouldn’t adore??? I watch so many movies and it’s almost impossible to say just one... I guess I’m gonna say my favorite one of them all: Beetlejuice by Tim Burton. I have always been really interested in all kinds of different imagines of death because I have always been a bit afraid of death and I just don’t like the thought of everything ending on that. I can basically imagine that emptiness and it’s really scary and something I don’t want to have. So I have always been really into anything that will show death as something else than emptiness or permanent. And I really love it what Burton did with Beetlejuice and I just love all the details in there! I have seen this movie millions of times and still I feel like whenever I watch it, I find something I did not see the last time because there’s just so much to see! And it’s also really funny and full of dark humour which is 110% my thing and I think that movie is a perfect example of Burton’s twisted, dark sense of humour. I feel like I understand his humour so well that every time I go to see a Burton movie in the theaters, I’m usually the only one to laugh at things I get as these weird jokes he likes to put there and everyone else is laughing at things that weren’t always even meant as that funny. It’s kinda weird, but it just shows that he’s my favorite move director for a reason :D And back to Beetlejuice (was that now the third time saying the name..?), Danny Elfman made the music to this one too and the theme is probably my favorite Danny Elfman score as well.
17. Do you like doing puzzles?
Yeah! I like both types: jigsaw puzzles and the other puzzles and I really love when video games have lots of puzzles to solve as idk, somehow I just love that :D
18. What’s your favorite kind of music?
Uh, this is gonna take a while to explain. Because it’s not that simple... I mean, in a way it is but it isn’t? :D I tend to like bands that basically are of the newer punk rock but don’t necessarily be punk itself, but they all either have roots in punk or their influences were mainly punk bands. And a while back I actually realized that most bands I listen to, actually have lots of the same bands behind there as their influences but all these bands (that I listen to) are all totally different from each other. So I like music that is based on punk rock but with a lot of new stuff added to them and I like music that is very diverse and offers a lot for the ears to hear, lots of layers and instruments etc. but so that on an album there isn’t 10 songs that are hard to tell apart ebcause they sound so alike, but more like 10 songs that are all different enough from each other but still similar enough that they sound like they belong into the same album. I’m very picky with music but the more I look back into what my music taste has been over the years, I still seem to always like the same things, and one of the things I like a lot with music is when there’s violins and/or pianos, I also like brass, but only when it’s there every now and there and not in every song. When not getting too much of something, it stays interesting, otherwise I’ll become very bored and start to look for “new” stuff to have enough stimuli.
So, many probably are already aware that my favorite band is Die Ärzte. And others, from the US: MCR, The Killers and Yellowcard. Rammstein from Germany and there’s some other German bands I might listen to too. From Finland I like bands like: Apulanta, Tehosekoitin, Klamydia, Häiriköt... And have to say here that as weird as it sounds, DÄ, MCR and Apulanta are quite different but all of them have lots of the same bands that influenced them! :D And Rammstein is probably the most different but hey, they also have punk roots! (And I like Feeling B too, btw. It’s very rare to me because I normally don’t like THAT regular punk but I really love the drums, escpecially when Schneider joined the band, and all the other instruments and the synth just made them to stand out!) And even The Killers share some influence bands with DÄ and MCR which is super interesting as there’s nothing punk in their style, but they’re still one of the most important bands from my teenage years. I was about 14 when I heard of them for the first time at school and since there was no Youtube yet, the hunt for the song, “Somebody Told Me”, was quite intense because only way to find it was to one day hear someone mention the song and band name on radio, but fortunately I did catch it! The album I found only 1-2 years later tho, when their 2nd album was released and I found both albums from a record store (R.I.P. record stores...) here.
So, that’s my favorite kind of music. Fast, interesting, lots of layers and instruments, good singing and it has to have lots of melody too. I live from songs with lots of melody.
19. Tea or coffee?
Tea, and actually the only tea I drink is Earl Greay and I drink that on a daily basis. Usually just 1 cup/day but sometimes even 2. 3 starts to have bit too much caffeine already. And from here we get to the reason I don’t drink coffee: my head can’t stand caffeine and the only time I do drink coffee is because I need caffeine aka when I drive longer distances with a car, but it causes me exessive sweating and I need to pee 24/7 and increses my panic symptoms and worsens my concentration skills so I try to avoid caffeine as much as I can. Besides, coffee tastes bad. It’s one of the best smells in the world and I HATE how it does not taste like that!!! So whenever I drink coffee, it’s not really coffee, it’s milk and sugar with a little bit of coffee in it. And ice coffee tastes better than normal coffee and I usually buy these readymade ice coffees you get in Finland cos they don’t taste like coffee. More like... milk and sugar with coffee taste lol.
20. First thing you remember wanting to be when you grow up?
Oh I think what I said was “I don’t know, probably something to do with animals.” I also am not exactly sure if I was one of those kids being like “I want to be a veterinatian!” or if I did NOT want to be a vet, and so when people would ask about being a vet then, I’d answer no, but more like just taking care of the animals. And I was not wrong, I am a qualified horse groom now.
I want to tag (what? me? tagging people? uncanny!) @stufenlosregelbar and hmmmm... @bleibimmerduselbst, since I haven’t seen this one on your blogs yet. Or at least not lately, not sure if you have already done this before and if so, I’m sorry, I normally do remember things I see but now for some reason I can’t remember that! And of course if someone out there wants to do this but hasn’t got tagged (I’d but I can’t read minds so idk who wants to be tagged I’m sorry!), then I’m also gonna tag YOU so please, steal this and tag yourself :D
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My thoughts and headcanons about Arthur and his horse, both before and after he becomes unwell. This got very long and very out of hand very quickly. I think I should've kept this for a fic, but, well:
1. Arthur takes the colt from the Adler's Ranch. He asks Mrs. Adler if she wants to keep him after all, to which she sharply replies no. Arthur keeps the Adler's horse in camp anyway; he saw Sadie sit next to him when he was grazing, brushing out his mane and tail once, too.
2. Arthur doesn't buy his own horse. Instead he catches a nice wild skewbald. He brings it back to camp. Feels like almost everyone has to comment on his choice of horse and how he'd break his neck before he can even catch up with a stagecoach he wants to rob, but well. Arthur can only shrug.
3. The filly he caught is pretty tall and has surprisingly soft gaits. Arthur never had to work with a wild horse before, but he worked with green horses enough, and it's kind of nice and a new experience, too. It takes three weeks for him to finally mount up, using a bitless bridle as the horse fusses too much otherwise and being bitless helps keep her calm and confident. Arthur finds out she's so soft in her gait it's almost like he's sitting on a sofa, and that's when he knows her name.
4. While camped in Horseshoe Overlook, Arthur takes the Adler's horse to jobs and takes Sofie in hands to hunts. She doesn't fuss too much hitched and grazing while he's out tracking, so that works. Arthur tries to be as gentle, confident and thorough as he could with her, and in a matter of weeks Sofie is used to the idea of his weight on her back and learns what Arthur means by different input of his leg or rein.
5. Sofie acts very skittish around water and refuses to cross. Arthur figures he can't force her, so maybe he should show her it can be fun. He dismounts to be on her level, gets his boots soaked, splashes water on her feet, tries to trick her into trudging deeper with sugar cubes. He ends up soaked through and through once Sofie gets the taste of splashing in the river, hitting the water surface with her hoof. After that there're no problems with crossing bodies of water; sometimes Arthur takes her the long way along the riverside just so that she can have some fun, also build her stamina up a bit.
6. Once tracking a deer that hurt its leg and was bleeding badly, Arthur runs into a pack of wolves. Sofie gets him out without so much as a wail. She still doesn't take well to the bit, and at this point Arthur's confident enough in his skill with bitless to get his point across and not hurt her by accident. After the encounter with the wolves, Arthur decides to use her for the next job. It happens sooner than he expected, as Cornwall runs them out of Valentine in a shootout.
7. Sofie proves to be very, very brave, and not too keen on trying to buck him off in danger. She has her fun, though, and Arthur lets her, as long as she isn't actively trying to make him end up on his back on the ground.
8. When Arthur is kidnapped, Sofie is very distressed. She follows the O'Driscolls, which they brush off as a horse sticking to the herd. They hitch her once they reach the hideout. She almost costs Arthur his life when he gets out of that basement. Sofie sees him and starts neighing, trotting up to him, and it's blind luck the last O'Driscoll guarding him is too surprised to alert anyone before Arthur plants a knife in his eye.
9. Sofie gets him out of there and straight to their camp. Her gallop doesn't jostle Arthur too much. Although he can't remember a thing from the road the next time he wakes up in camp, he knows Sofie got him there safe and sound.
10. Shortly after they escape to Shady Belle, Sofie's behavior changes. She's less playful on the road, seems much more careful in her stride through woods or up and down the hills and wary in general. Arthur risks the journey back to Valentine, where the stable owner seems to be the most competent veterinarian in these parts. He checks her over and promises that if something is wrong, he can't see it, and to his eye Sofie's just fine. Once he learns she's actually a broken wild horse, he brushes the matter aside completely, saying she's just getting used to her new life. It doesn't sound right to Arthur, but with no more symptoms to look into he accepts that, still keeping an eye out for any more signs.
11. After Guarma, Sofie meets him in Shady Belle. He rides her to Lakay bareback. It almost seems like her gait somehow got even softer. In camp, Charles tells him they couldn't get her to leave with them once she and other horses came home from Saint Denis.
12. Shortly after the diagnosis, when Arthur gets particularly lightheaded and Sofie balances him out from a fall, the realization hits: she's gotten more careful when she first felt he was unwell, doing her best to keep him from more harm or discomfort.
13. Arthur loses even more weight. He passes out again, but this time, his foot gets stuck in the stirrup. He visits Dr. Barnes in Saint Denis for another shot and to check the bruise on his temple. He also visits the trapper to get sheep pelt for his saddle as sitting on hard leather for too long gets unbearable and he's cold half the time he's not burning up, and the stables to buy hooded stirrups in case he black out again.
14. Arthur loses too much strength. He doesn't use the bow anymore. He still can, if not for too long, but he doesn't want to, because it makes him anxious and afraid of how weak he's becoming. The rifle in his hands is heavier than he's used to, too, but still easier to manage. He hunts and tracks on horseback now, and waiting for the game to take bait, Sofie always stands still as a statue under him. Maybe she knows if they don't catch any game, folk back in Beaver Hollow will go hungry. Maybe she doesn't. Arthur's grateful she's patient with him, staying still for hours and bearing through the sound of rifle shots with no fuss.
15. When Hamish dies, Arthur has to take a moment to decide what to do with Buell—he doesn't want to risk keeping him in camp, where anything can happen to anyone at this point. Arthur mounts Buell to ride him to Van Horn, not trusting him to not get spooked and lost in the woods here. This is also exactly when he realizes how careful and patient Sofie has been with him. Buell is quite a brute. He doesn't take easy to leg, and Arthur finds himself completely out of breath not less than two minutes later. He never uses spurs with Sofie, wanting to keep her responsive to just leg, and she always is, keeping the gait he sets for her until he asks for something else. But Buell needs constant pressure and release, and maybe every other horse except for Sofie does, too, and Arthur isn't up for that, both in physical and moral strength.
16. He leaves Buell in the hands of the stable owner, paying ahead for a year of stabling. He lets Sofie, who's gentle and careful, take him back to camp. He only has it in him to grip the horn and will himself to make it until he can pass out in his cot and not at the side of the road on the way there.
17. When Charles comes back to the peaks of Ambarino to take care of the dead, he buries Sofie's heart with Arthur.
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FILL IN THE QUESTIONS/STATEMENT AS IF YOU ARE BEING INTERVIEWED FOR AN ARTICLE AND YOU WERE YOUR MUSE
TAG 10 PEOPLE TO DO THIS MEME, (REPOST, DON’T REBLOG)
TAGGED BY: stole from @keptmanners - thanks bab!!
TAGGING: @stillgcod @morefinesse @xendure @deadmasked @mortuism (any muse you want!!) @crackinthewhip @deltarisen @deltataken @dcadrct @bowsofregret and anyone who wants to do this!
1. WHAT IS YOUR NAME? Clementine Maria Jasmine Cree.
2. WHAT IS YOUR REAL NAME? ...Clementine Maria Jasmine Cree.
3. DO YOU KNOW WHY YOU WERE CALLED THAT? Honestly, I don’t really know, I never got to ask them... and it’s not like I can ask them now.
4. ARE YOU SINGLE OR TAKEN? Heh... that’s really funny.
5. HAVE ANY ABILITIES OR POWERS? To survive and stay alive... though I’m not really sure I’d call that a power or anything. I can do parkour and morse code, if that counts.
6. STOP BEING A MARY SUE/GARY STU. … What the fuck…? Is.. that code?
7. WHAT’S YOUR EYE COLOR? Amber, but I’ve been told they look golden.
8. HOW ABOUT YOUR HAIR COLOR? Chocolate brown.
9. HAVE YOU ANY FAMILY MEMBERS? ...Yes, though they’re all dead... anyway, next question.
10. OH? WHAT ABOUT PETS? I had a goldfish named Peanut and a hamster named Hammy before all this. These days, I just have Rosie. Recently there's been a few cats that wander around the school and I like them a lot, hopefully they’ll stay a while. AJ can easier learn compassion for the weak and the small that way.
11. THAT’S COOL I GUESS, NOW TELL ME ABOUT SOMETHING YOU DON’T LIKE. Pure cruelty. People that are cruel and selfish, only using others for their own gain, or seeking destruction and violence. Yeah, there’s probably a reason behind those kinds of people are the way they are... but at the same time it doesn’t justify their actions.
12. DO YOU HAVE ANY HOBBIES/ACTIVITIES YOU LIKE DOING? I’ve always loved to sing, dance, draw and paint, but I like a lot of other things, too. I really like horseback riding and I want more than anything to see the ocean again, at least one more time.
13. EVER HURT ANYONE BEFORE? Yes, more times than I can count..
14. EVER… KILLED ANYONE BEFORE? ...Yes, many.
15. WHAT KIND OF ANIMAL ARE YOU? I’ve been told I’m like a lioness and I can honestly see it.
16. NAME YOUR WORST HABITS. I don’t know… I can be considered vengeful and I’m as stubborn as a damn mule. I can also come up with a list of swears that can make soldiers and sailors blush.
17. DO YOU LOOK UP TO ANYONE AT ALL? I used to look up to Lee... and Ava, but now... all I have to look up to is myself, I have no one else and I’ve survived this long.
18. GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL? Bisexual.
19. DO YOU GO TO SCHOOL? Not anymore.
20. DO YOU EVER WANT TO MARRY AND HAVE KIDS ONE DAY? I… I honestly really wish that was still a possibility. That’s impossible, though, these days... after everything I’ve seen with people who’re in love... why take the risk?
21. DO YOU HAVE ANY FANBOYS/FANGIRLS? HAH! That’s the funniest thing I’ve heard all day, I really doubt it.
22. WHAT ARE YOU MOST AFRAID OF? What I’ve become.
23. WHAT DO YOU USUALLY WEAR? At this point, it’s really whatever fits, honestly.
24. DO YOU LOVE SOMEONE? Yes, with all my heart.
25. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WET YOURSELF? Excuse me, yeah, uh... what the fuck?
26. WHAT CLASS ARE YOU? (HIGH CLASS, MIDDLE CLASS, LOW CLASS) I guess you can say that I was upper middle class, I think. I’ve lived in poverty for so many years now, I guess you could call it “low class”, but I call it “surviving”.
27. HOW MANY FRIENDS DO YOU HAVE? A handful and I really like them.
28. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON PIE? I’d really love to have some right about now. Especially chocolate pie... mmmm.
29. FAVORITE DRINK? Apple juice? Red wine’s really good, too.
30. WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE PLACE? Hmm.. I’d have to say the room where I first met Louis with the piano, because it gives me a sense of what the world before this was like, or the belltower... it’s the closest place I can be with the stars.
31. ARE YOU INTERESTED IN SOMEONE? …That’s none of your business!
32. WHAT’S YOUR BRA CUP SIZE AND/OR HOW BIG IS YOUR WILLY? Uh... I dunno, I just wear what fits... why do you care?
33. WOULD YOU RATHER SWIM IN THE LAKE OR THE OCEAN? I’d honestly like either one, but I would love to see the ocean again... it’s been years.
34. WHAT’S YOUR TYPE? Well… features wise… I’ve always loved lighter hair and bright eyes… And someone who’s taller than me, though, that’s not really hard, not that height really matters. As far as personality goes… Someone’s who’s smart, strong and respectful and just... someone who makes me happy and can see me beyond my shell. I want someone who stays despite what people have heard about me... to know the real me. I just want to be with someone who I can talk to about anything and who listens and who’ll love me despite everything I’ve done and make me feel loved.
35. ANY FETISHES? Fuck if I know.
36. TOP OR BOTTOM? DOMINANT OR SUBMISSIVE? I... don’t know, I... haven’t tried it. Why do you care, anyway? Quit asking perverted question, you perverted fuck!
37. CAMPING OR INDOORS? I... honestly don’t really care, not anymore.
38. ARE YOU WANTING THE QUIZ TO END? Well… I was wondering when it would, or I’d personally have to strangle you myself if you keep asking those perverted questions.
#I'M PRETTY MUCH A BADASS. ( DASH GAMES. )#YOU'RE A WEAPON GIRL &&. WEAPONS DON'T WEEP. ( HEADCANONS. )
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FTLOAP: Chapter 21: We’re Walking The Wire
Fandom: HTTYD
Theme: Hiccstrid - Medieval-style AU - Romance - Angst/Hurt/Comfort
Summary: Reduced to little more than a stable boy, Hiccup, despite his noble birth, has few prospects for more in life. But when he meets a girl who came to look at the horses, being a stable boy might not be enough anymore. Together, they have tough choices to make and great risks to navigate if they want to survive and be together.
Rating: Explicit
FF-net - AO3
Prologue; Chapter 1; Chapter 2; Chapter 3; Chapter 4; Chapter 5; Chapter 6; Chapter 7; Chapter 8; Chapter 9; Chapter 10; Chapter 11; Chapter 12; Chapter 13; Chapter 14; Interlude 1; Chapter 15; Chapter 16; Chapter 17; Chapter 18; Chapter 19; Chapter 20
Alpha/Co-author: @athingofvikings
. – * – _ . o O o . _ – * – .
AN: So, another relatively short one. I'm not sure this chapter ended up quite as I wanted it, but I thi8nk it's close. Probably... whatever... Hope you like it :)
. o O o .
It felt like flying.
The speed. The wind blowing into her face and tearing at her hair and dress. The sense of freedom.
Astrid couldn’t help the giddy laughter that bubbled up inside her and was ripped away from her mouth by the wind as it emerged. Riding like this, fast and without restraints, was amazing.
“Faster, boy!” she spurred Markor on as she heard the sound of galloping hooves far too close behind her. “They won’t get us.” She pressed her calves tighter to the gelding’s flanks, urging him to go faster as they reached a straighter part of the path that wound along Lake Vola’s shores. A few minutes later, she raised her fist in a cry of joy as they were the first to reach the agreed-upon goal – the crossroad from where the path split into several directions.
Catching her breath, she patted Markor’s neck and turned to look at where the men were fast approaching. Eret was the first, closely followed by Daniel and Hiccup who went head to head, and with Dagur being the last by far.
“I still say that’s cheating,” he complained when he finally reached them. “Astrid is far lighter than the rest of us; of course her horse is the fastest. It has less weight to carry.”
“You do know that your stallions are bigger and stronger to make up for that, right?” Astrid retorted cheerfully, gladly winding him up a bit more.
“Besides, by that logic Hiccup would be right behind her, as skinny as he is,” Eret threw in, the rush of their race painting a wide grin on his tattooed face.
Hiccup snorted. “I’m glad that Cassie is able to keep up with all your high-strung horses at all,” he replied, patting his mare affectionately. The motion made butterflies rise in Astrid’s stomach as she remembered all too well how gentle his touch could be. She was glad that the cool air and the race had made her face all red anyway, so nobody would notice her blush.
“You’re all just mean,” Dagur pouted, but joined in on the general laughter a moment later.
“Alright, to nobody’s surprise Astrid is the winner. As usual,” Daniel declared, eyes glinting. “And no, Dagur, you can’t call for a rematch, not again.” He guided Trample past them toward a narrow path that let into the nearby forest. “From here on, the path isn’t suitable for high speed anymore. I want to go to our meadow; it’s been ages since we’ve been there.”
Astrid felt a wide grin tug at her lips and saw the same expressions on Dagur’s and Eret’s faces. Their meadow was truly nothing more than that, a small meadow surrounded by miles and miles of the royal forest. And it wasn’t really their meadow either. Many a hunter or traveller used it occasionally to make camp, as Astrid’s grandfather had loosened the laws and restrictions on what had been the old king’s private hunting preserve, allowing peasantry a limited right to hunt, gather and harvest from the massive forest under supervision from the wardens. But it was a place they’d often been to when they’d been younger, when Dagur, Eret, and Snotlout had spent their summers in the castle, when life in general had been simpler. She wondered if they’d arrive and find it occupied or not; in the past, that had meant getting to share venison or rabbit and some interesting stories with her father’s subjects.
“Your wish is our command, Your Royal Highness,” she commented teasingly, implying a curtsy on horseback that made everyone chuckle. She forcefully kept herself from glancing at Hiccup as they followed Daniel onto the trail; such a formal comment usually came from him these days, after all. But nobody seemed to think anything about her adopting his attitude, and truth be told, that wasn’t why she’d said that anyway. Thinking about past years had made her fall back into old patterns as it seemed; being overly formal had been a joke to them, back then when none of that had felt real.
As the leafless branches closed above them, Astrid couldn’t help but relax somehow. The forest around them felt like a comfortable blanket in a way. The scent of earth and trees, the sounds of birds chirping, of small animals in the brushwood, and the murmuring of a distant stream. It was perfect. Peaceful. A part of her missed the rush of speed from before, but Daniel was right. This was not a good path for racing anymore; with roots and other tripping hazards of all kinds possibly lurking everywhere. Nobody wanted to lose their horse because of a broken leg, after all.
It took them over an hour of unhurried riding before they reached their goal. The meadow at the end of the winding path was even smaller than she remembered, but even though she hadn't been here in years, Astrid immediately felt a soothing sense of familiarity. There was the stream she’d heard earlier, now visible at the treeline, the stone circle in the middle that could be used as a firepit, and the bigger rocks placed around it to sit on. It was a place out of a simpler life, a life where she hadn't needed to be a noble lady all the time, much less the First Lady of the Kingdom. On that rock there, she’d once clapped along as a trio of travelling minstrels who had been camping here had sung and played music; for all that their clothes had made them of the lower sorts, travelling to entertain the peasants, they had cheered her twelve-year-old-self immensely.
For a short moment, she even mourned not having brought her bow and arrows as those memories conjured up others; of sneaking around trees and hunting down a rabbit or two to roast over the fire. She missed how the forests could provide everything one really needed. But then, with their saddlebacks packed with food, it really wasn't necessary to hunt today. And hunting just for sports had never been appealing to her.
“Oh, wow. This place really hasn't changed a bit,” Dagur noted. “Except that it used to be greener and warmer.”
“You know, that could be because it usually was at least late spring when we came here,” Eret countered dryly. Despite their words, there were fond smiles all around.
“Right. Let's see if we can start a fire,” Daniel said as he dismounted, beaming at the campsite; it was one of his favourite places, Astrid knew. “We might not need it for the food, but it certainly would help against the cold.”
They all followed his example, dismounting and taking a moment to let their legs get used to solid ground again.
“Woodpile’s empty,” Dagur noted as he stretched out his legs.
“Of course it is,” Eret replied. “The wardens wouldn’t let good firewood sit out to rot over the winter.”
Astrid ignored their banter and was about to take off Markor’s bridle and secure him to a tree, when Hiccup approached her.
“May I tend to your horse for you, Milady?” he asked after having stopped a few feet away from her – a safe distance.
“Of course. Thank you, Hiccup,” she accepted his offer – it was only appropriate, after all. Just seeing him, his warm smile, made her heart beat faster, and as always him using this form of address – that meant so much more coming from him – made her tingle all over. But at the same time, it was for once easy not to react. They would get their time, this night or maybe the next, depending on when she got the chance to again sneak away. She’d been right, treating him normal was much easier with that thought in the back of her mind.
She handed Hiccup the reins and then turned to walk over to the small stone circle, inspecting the fireplace with practised eyes. It obviously had been used occasionally, but the last time hadn’t been in weeks, as the coals were cold and the depression covered in dirt and windblown leaves. Carefully tugging her thick skirt beneath her knees, she knelt down and began to clean the place, sorting smaller twigs and dried leaves on piles for the fire later.
“Some lessons stick, I guess?” sounded Daniel’s voice to her, and she looked at where he stood a step beside her.
Astrid shrugged, wiping her forehead with the sleeve of her dress. “I guess so. Odin knows I’ve prepared enough firepits by now – you wouldn’t let me do much else, after all.”
Her brother looked a little sheepishly at that. “Well, making my baby-sister gather heavy firewood when we had enough strong arms around... didn’t seem like the logical choice,” he defended his past self.
Rolling her eyes, she snorted “You know I could have done it anyway, right?”
“Yeah…” he admitted reluctantly, then tried another approach. “But on the other hand, Dagur can’t light a fire to save his life – and I have witnesses to the literal truth of that statement.”
“And neither can you,” came her deadpan retort. If he’d brought up this excuse to save his dignity, he’d failed. Because this, too, was the simple truth. With all the skills and talents her brother was blessed with, starting or taking care of a fire wasn’t one of them.
“Aaand that’s my cue,” he laughed. He turned, presumably to beckon Dagur and Eret over for their usual tour through the woods for firewood; normally it was to restock the woodpile, but today they’d need it for the fire in the first place. It might have been years, but the routine still stuck. So it somewhat surprised Astrid when she caught Daniel pausing from the corner of her eye, before he called, “Hoy, Eret, Dagur? Think you can get enough wood on your own?”
Astrid looked up, surprised, and saw Dagur and Eret share an equally puzzled look. “Sure,” came Eret’s reply a few seconds later. “Afraid you might sprain your royal ankle?”
“Haha, funny,” Daniel grumbled with no real anger. “No, I’m going to keep Astrid company.”
Eret and Dagur shared another knowing look, and Astrid noticed Eret fleetingly glance at where Hiccup was still busy tending to the horses. She suppressed a sigh. Apparently, she would have to live with Daniel being in his overprotective big brother mode for a while now. But he meant it well, she knew that, even if the thought of needing protection from Hiccup of all people was hilarious. But then, it probably was better not to be left alone with him anyway, not when they didn’t know when the others would return.
“Alright,” Eret finally shrugged. “Let’s go, Dag. Guess it’s just us and the woods.”
Dagur cackled, “Bring it!” and then followed Eret out of sight into the trees.
Suppressing an impish grin, Astrid gazed after them. She was sure that these two wouldn’t mind being alone in the forest. Not at all. Their loud bantering was audible for a little while longer, making those staying behind chuckle; even Hiccup’s laughter was audible from where he tended to Squish right now. Glancing in his direction, Astrid saw him shaking his head in amusement, but she also caught a telling smirk playing around his lips. It made her wonder whether he, too, knew.
“Okay, what is it about these firepits now?” Daniel drew her attention, critically looking down at the stone circle. “Maybe I’ll learn how to build a fire eventually…”
Chuckling, Astrid showed him how to clean out the firepit from the autumn leaves that had blown in, and how to make a shallow depression by brushing dust and ashes to the sides so the fire would be protected from the wind. Then she made him help her gather dry leaves, bark, grass, and sticks to use as tinder.
All the while, she was aware of Hiccup working close by, watching them occasionally, and eventually, he came to help too. But again, he kept a safe distance and she did the same, working all by themselves instead of as close as possible – as they probably would have done only a couple of days ago. Once more, she marvelled at how simple it suddenly was.
And it was fun. By the time a low fire was burning, her hands and knees were dirty with soil and grass stains, but she had a serene smile on her lips, feeling accomplished and free. Dreamily, she gazed into the dancing flames, watching as they slowly grew, lapping at the bigger twigs. Once Eret and Dagur came back, the fire would be ready for the bigger logs and provide a comfortable space to rest and relax in.
The touch came unexpectedly.
With a yelp, Astrid flinched as a broad hand landed on her shoulder. Out of nowhere, she thought she heard shrill laughter, smelled a wave of perfume, and the flash of memory made her tremble before her mind registered the voice.
“Hey, here’s a blanket in case you–” Daniel broke off at her reaction. His hand vanished from her shoulder, and before she’d caught herself again he was crouching in front of her. Carefully, he took her hands in his, a calming gesture. His eyes locked on hers, momentarily wide with fear, as she fought down the sense of panic. It was just Daniel. Nobody was attacking her. She was safe.
“Thanks,” she breathed, unwinding her hands from his to reach for the blanket he’d dropped into the grass beside her. Gratefully, she wrapped it around her trembling shoulders, even though she knew perfectly well that the sudden chill she felt wasn’t caused by the cool wind around them.
“I’m sorry, Astrid,” Daniel murmured, sorrow and concern in his eyes. He looked as if he wanted to say more, but Astrid waved him off.
She wanted to smile and tell him that she was fine, but her brother deserved better than that. “I know,” she whispered instead. “I’ll be all right. I’m just a little… jumpy, I guess.” she tried a weak twitch of her lips, one that wasn’t intending to hide how she felt or to placate him. They both knew better after all.
. o O o .
A little while later, the five of them sat gathered around the now brightly bristling campfire and enjoyed their well-earned meal of cheese, cold meat, sweet bread, and watered wine. Having forgone regular meals today, the long ride out here – and in Eret’s and Dagur’s case having hiked the forest, no matter how cheerful they’d been upon their return – had made them all ravenously hungry, and for several minutes, nothing could be heard but content chewing and gulping.
“Ah, being among friends like this is fantastic,” Dagur eventually commented, stretching elaborately, and then leant back against the wide stone he and Eret shared. “No doubts, no second thoughts, no need to constantly watch out for hidden insults or knives…” His voice had its usual joking swing, but there was also a more serious note in it that made him sound a little melancholically.
Absently, Astrid pondered whether to reach for another piece of bread, but deciding against it. “Now, that sounds pretty dreadful,” she teased, trying to lighten his mood. “As if you don’t have any friends at all.”
Dagur snorted. “As a matter of fact, you don’t have friends in the south. Not really. You’ve just seen how traitorous ‘loyal vassals’ can be, now imagine trying to find friends among such people. Granted, not everyone is that bad, but still…” He trailed off, kicking a pebble into the fire before Eret placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Anyway, it’s no fun at all,” he eventually continued, throwing Eret a grateful glance. “With the prospering farms and the flourishing trade with the Southern Nations, many noblemen of lower rank are gaining influence and wealth beyond their titles. The same goes for some merchants, even, and a fair few of those are marrying into the nobility.”
Eret nodded. “Without that much wealth around, rivalry isn’t that much of a problem in Eastervale, not to mention the Northern Wilderness. That’s the difference, I guess. People are… content with what they have. And the people in Westhill definitely have other problems.”
“Exactly. But around Southshore, you can’t make a single step without getting reminded of just how wealthy everyone around is; it’s all a display of silk, jewels, silver, gold... You can’t have a meal without it being doused in the most expensive imported spices, some of the latest fashions need expensive dyes, and let’s not even get started on the tea and this new imported drink, this coffee... although that last one’s Dad’s fault,” Dagur groused. “He likes it and that sets the fashion. But everyone seems to be keen on claiming as much of that wealth – and the power that comes with it – as they can. They all want to climb as high as possible, until–” He broke off, biting his lip and shaking his head.
Not for the first time, Astrid considered how much more she actually learned about the Kingdom when she was away from her governesses. To her annoyance, she wouldn’t be able to avoid them tomorrow though, as she was to at least spend one day per week being tutored. However, she didn’t expect to learn anything other than maybe another poem or possibly how to stitch a new pattern. Hearing about the Kingdom’s politics and problems was so much more interesting, even though she didn’t understand every bit.
“Well, then I hope this Lord Gregson your father choose as new Count Ravenledge proves to be the right choice,” Daniel continued, sighing. “The Gods know these people deserve a worthy leader after all they’ve been through.”
This, however, made Dagur grin. “Ulf Gregson? There’s no need to worry about him, trust me. He’s a decent man. In his case, we actually know him and don’t need to rely on second- or even third-hand reports. He might not be the most diligent man under Odin’s reign, but he’s trustworthy.”
At that, Hiccup perked his head up. “So, you’ve already chosen a successor for County Ravenledge?” he asked curiously, actually participating in the conversation for the first time, and Astrid gladly used this chance to look at him without it seeming suspicious. He looked curious, but she thought she also noticed a slight tension in his features.
“Right, you weren’t there anymore when we talked this through,” Daniel said, turning his attention to Hiccup as well. “We talked on it last night.”
“At length,” Dagur groused.
“Aye, but better to do it right than fast, brother,” Daniel said. “The longer the office is vacant, the more trouble it’ll attract – some people would do anything for a title, much less a prime one like Ravenledge – we owe it to the people there to not rush through a decision on who will rule them for the rest of his life like it was a choice of salad before the roast.”
“I see,” Hiccup nodded, frowning slightly as he returned his attention to his meal.
“I agree with Dagur,” Eret mumbled past a mouthful of bread, swallowed, and added, “I think Lord Gregson is a good choice. I mean, I would have had another suggestion… But in the end, it’s probably better to give the county to a native Southerner. And I’ve met the man a couple of times when visiting Southshore and I agree with Dag. He’s as honest a soul as they come. It just baffled me how long it actually took to decide on him. I mean, wasn’t he the first suggestion anyway? Why it took three hours to decide then is beyond me. Honestly, we could have slept so much longer instead...”
At that Dagur barked a laugh. “Politics, eh? Isn’t it a wonderful thing? But believe me, three hours is nothing. Just wait until you have to handle taxes. That can take days of barely any sleep at all.”
“Try to see it as training,” Daniel chuckled. “There will be lots of nights coming where we’ll stay up that long.” He raised a hand and started counting off on his fingers. “The common accolade tomorrow. Dagur’s accolade the day after. Midwinter. That trip to the tavern we wanted to make before I leave... Lots of nights to stay up late.”
Groaning, Eret dropped his head. “And lots of reasons to dress up too. Now, I’m twice as glad that we made this trip today. At least we have the tavern to look forward to.” He shuddered exaggeratedly, which made everyone laugh before a comfortable silence fell over the meadow.
Leaning back against the rock, Astrid gazed up at the darkening sky. Sparks of the fire occasionally rose up into the upcoming night, like fireflies, letting her mind wander. She agreed with Eret; she was incredibly glad that they’d made this trip today, that she’d decided to join the men, and that she’d made it to the stables in time to join them. Because, no matter how special this day was, compared to her usual life, the… normalcy of it all was incredibly comfortable to her.
She would gladly enjoy it all for a little while longer, just to add it to the memories from younger days. One of those hunting trips their father had taken them on when they’d been younger, or an exploration trip like those she and her brothers had made occasionally. Just being out in the forest for a couple of days, breathing freely. And preferably with only Hiccup to keep her company… A soft smile tugged at her lips at that image. Oh, what would she give for such an opportunity... But there was no way for her to do that, and such thoughts could only put him in danger.
But still...
She laid back on the stone, not worried about the decorousness of the action, and watched the clouds go by.
“We should go back,” Daniel stated after a while, reasonably yet reluctantly. “It’s getting late, and we’d better reach the road again before it gets too dark.”
Dagur grumbled, but Hiccup’s calm comment about how the horses needed at least some light to make it through the woods quickly had him up on his feet and packing up their things alongside the rest of them. Within minutes, they were ready to go.
The way back to the castle took longer than the ride out, as they went without racing each other, with everyone growing tired and the sun dimming. They all might have slept long this morning, but that didn’t mean they’d slept much. Regretfully, she accepted that she probably would need to actually stay in bed tonight.
“I kinda wish we could simply sack out here too,” Eret mumbled after they’d reached the stables and quickly tended to the horses. “Just rolling out a blanket and sleeping in the straw, without having to walk the whole way back…” His eye had a dreamy shimmer, one that Astrid could sympathise with all too well. She wanted to stay here, too...
“I don’t know.” Dagur eyed the straw critically. “Isn’t that… a bit scratchy and all?”
“Not once you put a blanket over it,” Hiccup commented, making a show of making his bed and lying down, a cheeky grin playing around his lips. “Ah, yes. Don't think I'll get up today again.”
Eret threw him a mockingly dark glare, but then chuckled and shook his head. “You really are the lucky one tonight. Until tomorrow, Hiccup. And don’t forget, we have sword training at the garrison.”
“Yeah, I'll be there,” he yawned exaggeratedly.
Daniel chuckled. “Right then. Good night, Hiccup. See you tomorrow, hopefully after a good night's rest, for once.”
“A night's rest indeed sounds good,” Astrid agreed, throwing Hiccup a quick glance. “Good night, Hiccup."
“Good night, Milady.”
Astrid turned and followed Eret out of the stables, Daniel and Dagur right behind her. She felt a little sad at the prospect of not spending this night with Hiccup again. But the short shared glance just now had been enough communication on that point; they both couldn't afford to spend yet another night awake, especially not when Hiccup had to be up and at the garrison in time to fulfil his duties as Eret's squire.
They would have to wait for a better chance, but that was all right. This day had been wonderful, but equally important to her was how interacting with Hiccup had worked out. They’d been walking a thin line between their desire to be close to each other and the demanded caution. But now that this new possibility had presented itself to them… Now, it seemed manageable, easy even.
For the moment, at least.
. o O o .
As I said, relatively short... And I told you, it would become a little calmer, right? Ah, but there are so many things in here... :| And I can't say anything... xD
Next chapter
#for the love of a princess#hiccstrid#Hiccup and Astrid#hiccstrid fanfiction#httyd#httyd fanfiction#httyd fandom#royalty au#hiccstrid royal au#medieval au#Hiccstrid Medieval AU
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15, 20, and 25?
Thanks for asking, @takethewatch! (If anyone else wants to send me some, here they are.)
15. five most influential books over your lifetime.
Oh, boy. That’s not an easy one, is it? I’ve read way too many books. XD
OK, this list has to start with the Last Herald-Mage trilogy by Mercedes Lackey. IIRC, LHM had been recommended to me by an English teacher in 8th grade, along with Anne McCaffrey’s Dragonriders of Pern series and another series that I don’t think I ever actually read? Looking back--and considering that this was in 1991/1992--those were really bold recommendation choices. LHM’s protagonist is gay, and gay couples are present in the Pern series, too (though I’m not certain I recognized them as such back then). Anyway, the point is that LHM entered my life at a time when I was totally open to whatever I was reading and would accept world-building choices without question. Vanyel loved boys? OK. *shrug* I just accepted it, lock, stock, and barrel. Sure the characters in the story gave him a hard time for it, but the author clearly thought it was OK, so clearly it was OK, and I just ran with that. And I didn’t realize until much later what a HUGE life-altering thing that was. And it happened so quietly, I didn’t even realize it had happened. Non-straight people existed, they were valid, and their stories were worth telling. I don’t even have the words to describe how utterly huge that was for 13 year old me, but IT WAS.
(Side note: There is another thing that I accepted lock, stock, and barrel from ML’s books, as well as a few others I loved with similar characters that were NOT so healthy, too: a) overworking yourself to the point of exhaustion and collapse is the sign of a hero, and b) being willing to sacrifice the things you want for the greater good/so the people around you can be happy is definitely the Way To Be. And since vet school reinforced those mindsets LIKE NOBODY’S BUSINESS, I ended up with a really significant martyr complex that I’ve only recently begun to realize within the last 5 years or so is SUPER UNHEALTHY. So... YIKES. -.-;;;)
This isn’t a book, so it might be cheating, but as far as life-altering stories go, fair game by @myrmidryad has to go on the list. First of all, it’s just flat out AMAZING (the whole series is, for that matter), and I highly recommend it. Second of all, my journey didn’t exactly parallel Courfeyrac’s in this story, but the realizations he had throughout the story struck enough chords in me that reading them helped me figure out that I was asexual, too. And that had been a realization I’d been dancing around for months, at that point, but still never seriously thought I’d land on. But after reading this fic, not only did I finally managed to land, but I managed to ground and stabilize there, as well as, start coming to terms with it. And that was just as huge as the realization I had over LHM in 8th grade--it was just that this one happened with a bang instead of a whimper. ;D
Every horse book ever written by Marguerite Henry. ^_^ I was horse-crazy as a kid and horse-crazy as a young adult and though I really can’t ride anymore because of my back, I’m still horse-crazy, now. But thanks to these books, I ended up at horseback riding camp where I met two of the best friends I’ve ever had. ^_^
Snow Dog (and many of his other dog books, but especially that one) by Jim Kjelgaard. Same basic story, here as with Marguerite Henry. I loved this book SO MUCH when I was young. I completely wore out the spine I re-read it so often. If you had told me as a child that I could only keep one book out of my (even at the time) extensive collection, it would have been this one, hands down. I don’t honestly even know why it affected me so profoundly, but it did. And it and Marguerite Henry’s books were definitely two of the influences that set me on the path to veterinary medicine, so that definitely can’t be discounted. ^_^
And... now I’m in the same position you were in @takethewatch. WHAT DO WITH 5TH SPOT. O_o;;; THERE IS TOO MUCH. But I think ultimately, it has to be Tamora Pierce’s Wild Magic and the Lioness Quartet that go here. For, ironically, wildly opposing reasons. I read Wild Magic when I was in early high school and still very deep in my horsiest horse-crazy mode. Girl who communes so deeply with horses that she practically becomes one and talk to all animals? SIGN ME THE FUCK UP. But what hit me so hard about Daine’s story and Alanna’s both was this: that scene where Daine was told that it was OK to give up her skirts, to give up the things that are considered traditionally feminine, and that Alanna flat out gave up being a girl entirely for the right to pursue her dream, because at the time, I was still very much a tomboy. I loved to dance, but that that about the only feminine thing I did. In fact, I felt SO strongly against all things feminine, that if I’d grown up now, instead of then, I might have identified as agender or nonbinary. Looking back on it, it’s also possible that that was a bit of internalized misogyny at work, maybe a little bit of bb!aro/ace me peeking up from under the covers, but I’d never really felt comfortable or interested in most things that were coded as feminine, so I don’t know. Anyway, that was thing number one: that there were heroines out there who rejected the feminine and weren’t punished for it by the story. Here’s the second: that Alanna decides in the third book that she DOES like some feminine things and even more than that, it’s OK that she likes some feminine things. She isn’t any less a warrior. She isn’t any less respected. She isn’t any less a badass. She’s still her... she just occasionally likes to wear dresses. And that was HUGE for me. That I could be a tomboy and still prefer all the scrub around in the dirt things that I did and still not be genteel and fragile and feminine... but if I wanted to wear a dress or a skirt because I liked the feel of it swirling around me... THAT WAS OK and it didn’t commit me to being a girly-girl. And that was something I desperately needed to hear at the time--that there is no wrong way to be female. You can prefer pants and still occasionally want to wear dresses and really it’s just about what makes you comfortable; it doesn’t change who you are inside, whoever that is.
20. would you rather be in Middle Earth, Narnia, Hogwarts, or somewhere else?
Between the three, I’d have to say Hogwarts, for the sole reason that I’d get to have magic and yet would still get to keep my technology, the Internet, and Broadway, too. ;D
25. could you live as a hermit?
For short periods of time, yeah, I think I could, and quite happily. I’d love to have a little cottage out somewhere in a forest clearing with lots of growing things around me, enjoying a much simpler, grounded kind of life. But ultimately, I need people, too. And all those modern conveniences I mentioned above. ^_~ So, while that life sounds HIGHLY appealing as a sabbatical from reality, I wouldn’t want it to be my everyday life. ^_^
#ask meme answers#long post#PHEW that really was longer than i expected#BUT FUN!#^_^#thanks again#takethewatch#!!#conversations through replies
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Hello, what is the name you were given at birth?
Hi there, it was Robyn.
Would people consider you more immature or mature?
Ask people.
Name the closest yellow object to you; is it something eatible?
I don’t like the color yellow so I don’t think I have anything yellow in my room at all.
Would you say most of your friends are older/younger than you?
They all used to be the same age as me (since we were classmates in high school), but my group of friends have changed and it’s mostly balanced. I have a fair share of friends who were born in 1999 and 2000, but I’ve also made upperclassmen friends over the last few months.
If you have a significant other, do you get jealous of people a lot?
Maybe not jealous but insecure, but I won’t deny that those two are very closely tied. When Gab is with other people, I always get insecure and worried that I can’t offer her anything better. I guess it all stems from a desire to want to be the best person I can be for her, which is why I’m always convinced that those people will always be better than me–in jokes, making her laugh, giving her a good time, giving her better conversation, etc.
When was the last time you went to Target? Who did you go with anyway?
I’ve never stepped foot inside a Target.
Dont you hate it when people don’t text you back at all?
Not really. It’s only a huge bother when I get ignored during an urgent matter.
What’s the most money a boyfriend or girlfriend has spent on you?
I’m not sure. It’s definitely not much, since I always tell her that I hate being spent on, and will feel bad if she even treats me to something at all. The biggest gift I’ve received from her was probably bouquets? which would be around 600-700 pesos each. I’m perfectly happy with that.
What does your 8ith text message say?
Phone doesn’t work like that.
Do you ever take pictures with family members around the holidays?
Pushed to, yes. Filipino families love their selfies and group photos.
What would you do if you found out you/your girlfriend was pregnant?
Devastated not because she’s pregnant, but because that would only mean she was with a man and did things with that man, either of which I would have never seen happening ever.
Are you physically attached to your cellphone?
You can say that, I guess. I’m always holding on to it.
Ever liked someone else's boyfriend or girlfriend?
Nope.
Who was your best friend in the fifth grade?
Angela, Marielle, Cielo, Maryrose, and Aubrey.
Do you like fried food? If so, what?
I love all the fried food. Corndogs.
Do you wear short shorts & tanktops in the summer?
Sure, but not so much outside like to school.
Would you ever date your best friend of the opposite sex?
I don’t have a boy best friend.
Would you beat up anyone at the moment, if you absolutely had the chance?
If you gave me an animal abuser or a child molester or a rapist and told me I can do absolutely anything I want with them then perhaps.
Have you ever been obsessed with someone?
That was me with Beyoncé when I was 10.
How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had in your lifetime?
Just one.
What's your best friend’s name? How long have you been best friends?
I’ve been best friends with Angela for 13 years; Gabie for 6 years.
When was the last time you rode a horse, if you've ever ridden one?
Years ago. I’m polar opposites with Gab, who goes horseback riding frequently.
Is your mother a stay-at-home mother or does she work somewhere?
She works at a 5-star hotel in the next city.
Do you know anyone who is overly flirty with people? Boy or girl?
Yup. Girls.
Have you ever had sex before?
Yes.
Is green your favorite color?
I hate green.
Have you ever thought you were gonna die?
I feel that at least ten times a month.
Are you someone who normally eats a full breakfast every single morning?
Only when my dad is here. He makes sure I have something to eat every few hours. Now that he’s in Australia for work, I’m back to skipping breakfast.
What's your favorite meal of the day?
I don’t look forward to any in particular. I always eat out of schedule as it is.
What fast food place, in your opinion, has the best french fries?
Jollibee.
Don't you just love to cuddle?
Sure, if I’m in the mood for it.
Are you constantly checking your phone to see if you have a new text?
Yes, even if my phone vibrates anyway.
Where would people most likely find you out on the weekends?
At home.
Do you have a favorite between your mom and dad?
My dad.
Do you have any siblings you're embarassed of being related to?
Nooooooo. There’s an uncle that I’m embarrassed of enough that I’ve informally disowned him as an uncle, but definitely not my siblings.
Do you like to get drunk a lot?
I mean kinda. I feel better and I get insanely better at socializing.
Do you have any sisters? If so, how many?
One.
What if the last person you spoke to told you they wanted to marry you?
We’d both start crying probably seeing as we’re both extremely emotional people.
Who was the last person you kissed and why did you kiss this person?
My girlfriend. Because she was my girlfriend and she was saying goodbye.
If the last person you texted died, how would you feel?
I hate this question.
Do you ever wish you could read people’s minds?
Yes. Some are difficult to read.
Do you have friends you can joke around or are they all serious?
I always choose friends that I can hang with for a good time.
What's your favorite thing to eat for lunch?
I don’t really have a favorite meal set for lunch; I just get whatever’s good at the moment, or whatever I’m craving.
What subject do you like better: science or social studies?
I love both.
Have you ever kissed anyone who's name started with a K?
Kristen Stewart I wish. HAHAHAHA no I haven’t.
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All odd numbers of the cute asks
Oh goodness, this is gonna be a long one but here we go!!
1. Who was the last person you held hands with? Probably one of my roommates, but not in like a walking-talking sense! It was more like she came into my room and took my hand lol
3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? A bunch of people, actually! I’m looking forward to seeing my best friend when she sleeps over this week, and I’m looking forward to seeing my mom and other best friend when I go back home in three months.
5. If you were drunk, would the person you like take care of you? Without question, although I think I’d be okay! I don’t usually get drunk, and I’m generally the friend who’s taking care of people lol. They’d probably be laughing at my ridiculousness a lot.
7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? I mean, I don’t know….. Would I like to be? Ideally, but I’m also in the middle of classes and I don’t really know how that’d work out practically.
9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Nope~ I’m really open about those kinds of things tbh.
11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? Let me go find it…. “Ohhh okay” (Sorry, I know it’s pretty unexciting)
13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? Yes yes yes yes yessssss it is the number one thing to do that calms me right down (besides hugs).
15. What good thing happened this summer? This past summer, I spent most of my time in camp and with friends, and that was super fun. I got really close with people that I didn’t expect to! Also, I moved to Israel!
17. Do you think there is life on other planets? Define life. Bacteria and other protozoic life forms, definitely. I don’t know if I totally buy into the idea of intelligent life forms on other planets and aliens like the Hollywood movies show.
19. Do you like bubble baths? I love them, but I don’t take them very often. Lush is one of my favorite stores, I love bath time products.
21. What are your bad habits? I bite my nails sometimes, but I’m trying to get over that and I’m managing it really well! I’m also a tapper, and I tend to grind my teeth/hum when I’m not paying attention. I also chew gum a lot and bite the little clip things off of mechanical pencils…..
23. Do you have trust issues? Some, yeah. Depends on with who and regarding what, though. I stopped journaling for a long while because of trust issues, but I’m super open with people and I consider everyone trustworthy until proven otherwise, in most cases!
25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? My stomach. I hate it.
27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? I wish I was more tan, but otherwise not really!
29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? Yeah.
31. Is your hair long enough for a ponytail? I refuse to cut my hair so short that it would not be. So yes, absolutely.
33. Spell your name with your chin. eliusahewv casYes, that is definitely my name. Not too far off tho!
35. Would you rather live without TV or music? TV hands down. I depend on music like you wouldn’t believe.
37. What do you say during awkward silences? Usually nothing tbh…. I’m not really the one to break them. But I usually try and do an “anyway” segway or something like that.
39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? Lush, Bath and Body Works, Barnes and Nobles, Target, Macy’s, Bloomingdales.
41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? Yes, but a limited one. Your second chance with me is usually your last, and if you hurt me again I drop you entirely. I try to keep that my policy, but there are definitely exceptions.
43. Do you smile at strangers? Absolutely. I smiled at a bunch today!
45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? Talking to my friends, and my alarm clock. Also, eventually I just get fed up with my own laziness too, so there’s that.
47. Have you ever been high? No, and I don’t plan on it.
49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out? Yes, and I really hope that they don’t. It was nothing bad, before you get any ideas! It’s just…. Something personal, if that makes sense?
51. Ever wished you were someone else? Yes, and I still do at times. That’s something I’m trying to work on.
53. Favorite makeup brand? The only brand name things of makeup I have come from Bobbi Brown, I think, so maybe I’ll default to them? Or Mac?
55. Favorite blog? I don’t really have one, honestly…. I like a lot of different bloggers and people!
57. Favorite food? Pizza, hands down.
59. First thing you ate this morning? Wacky mac. I didn’t have a very nutritional breakfast.
61. Ever been suspended/expelled? For what? Oh God no. I think I would die.
63. Ever been in love? This is a complicated question. I’ve had a lot of strong feelings for people before, but I think there’s maybe one person I would say that I’ve been in love with. We broke things off a while ago, and we’re good friends now, but I still have a lot of feelings for her.
65. Are you hungry right now? I’m so hungry tbh I’m waiting for my roommate to get out of the shower so that we can go pick up sushi.
67. Facebook or Twitter? Facebook, but simply because I don’t use my Twitter like ever.
69. Are you watching TV right now? Nope! I’m looking between this answer and the question list lol
71. Craving something? What? Sushi omg I want it so bad I’m so hungry
73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? I do, actually! I have a teddy bear that my mom gave me when I last was home, and it helps me sleep at night when I’m homesick or in a bad place. I’m a very touchy-huggy person so to me it’s a big help.
75. Favorite animal? Any form of feline. I love cats.
77. Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate all the way.
79. What color shirt are you wearing? Black, actually! It’s got a pretty blue and white pattern/design thing too!
81. Favorite TV show? Ummm probably Psych? Not sure, I have to think on this one a little more. Maybe Bones?
83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? I’ve never seen the second one, so Mean Girls?
85. Favorite character from Mean Girls? Karen. (I think? It’s been a while since I’ve watched it)
87. First person you talked to today? It was either @justanotherurl-not or @mizuritamanami but I don’t know for certain.
89. Name a person you hate? A particular girl from high school might fit this description. For her privacy, I’ll just call her Sam.
91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? At this exact moment, no.
93. How many sweatpants do you have? So many pairs omg. My high school gave them out religiously.
95. Last movie you watched? The Greatest Showman (WHICH EVERYONE SHOULD WATCH IT’S SO GOOD)
97. Favorite actor? Ummm not sure. That’s a very good question. Probably someone like Leonardo DiCaprio, or Chris Evans maybe?
99. Have any pets? No, unfortunately, but I plan on getting a cat sometime soon!
101. Do you type fast? Yeah, and I can more or less touch type now! I’ve memorized my laptop keyboard lol thanks Mavis Beacon!
103. Can you spell well? Usually I’m very good with spelling. My mom likes to joke that it’s because I read the dictionary when I was younger (which I did, so maybe she has a point).
105. Ever been to a bonfire party? The only one that might qualify I’m not going to count, so nope! Maybe someday!
107. Have you ever been on a horse? Yes, and I love horseback riding so much. I highly recommend it to anyone who hasn’t gone- it’s so relaxing and I had the best time doing it.
109. Is something irritating you right now? Someone, but yes. It’s not their fault, though, so I probably won’t say anything to them.
111. Do you have trust issues? I think this was already a question on this ask….?
113. What was your childhood nickname? It’s not really shorter than my name, but my mom used to call me her “princess ballerina.”
115. Do you play the Wii? I did, but I haven’t in four or five years, since we moved and never unpacked it.
117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? Who doesn’t?
119. Favorite book? Right now, probably The Somnabulist by Jonathan Bates, but I love almost every book I’ve read. The Eragon series is also one of my favorites, and I love classical literature, like A Tale of Two Cities and The Sun Also Rises.
121. Are you mean? I can be, if I want to or have to be. But I hate it, so I try very hard to steer clear.
123. Can you keep white shoes clean? I can’t keep any shoes clean.
125. Do you believe in true love? Yes, but I believe that it’s usually something that grows with time and isn’t just magically found.
127. What makes you happy? Music, good food, friends, a good book, a good movie, rewatching old anime series that I haven’t seen in a while, etc. Flowers, cats, pretty things. I’m a girl of simple pleasures.
129. What’s your zodiac sign? Taurus! (April 28th is my birthday!)
131. Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? This one hits a little close to home at the moment. It depends on the circumstances.
133. Favorite lyrics right now? “She’s the tear in my heart/she’s a carver/she’s a butcher with a smile/cut me farther than I’ve ever been,” -Tear in My Heart, twenty one pilots
135. Dumbest lie you ever told? I really don’t know. Maybe that I was British? but I wound up fooling the teacher for two weeks, so.
137. How tall are you? 5′4″!
139. Brunette or blonde? I’ve always wanted to be a blonde, but I have recently started liking my hair (I’m a brunette) although I definitely have a thing for blondes.
141. Night or day? Night has always been more peaceful to me, but I love the sunshine. Maybe like twilight time?
143. Are you a vegetarian? No, but I could be if I wanted to!
145. Tea or coffee? Tea is what I like better, but I definitely appreciate a good cup of coffee with plenty of milk and sugar.
147. Mars or Snickers? I had a Mars bar for the first time this year, and I definitely prefer it.
149. Do you believe in ghosts? Absolutely. I love watching all of the ghost hunting shows, even though I know they’re bullshit and I kinda believe them lol
Okay!! I made it through all of them! I hope the answers were satisfactory and thank you so much for asking, you wonderful person!!!
Ask me anything This ask list
#Anon ask#Answered#Oh goodness this was a lot!!#But I'm so flattered that you asked me#Thank you so much for the questions and I hope you're doing well!!#Sending all the best~
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Silence Watches The Mummy and The Mummy Returns – Musings, Headcanons, Criticisms, & Observations About Ardeth, Horus, and the Medjai - [Part 2 of 2]
(Continued from here.)
[12.] All the commanders were able to be in one place on short notice? How big is a region, how far apart are these tribes, and how the hell did they get there so fast? Like how did Ardeth get word to them, have them decide to join him, and then have them all travel to that central location at literally a couple days’ notice? That really does not compute, heh. Then, once there, he told them, okay now all of you line up so I can just say who you are, and then you can go back to your tribes again? I mean, if I were them, I would’ve told Ardeth to go to hell, heh. Like thanks a lot asshole, we just traveled here at the speed of light and now you’re waving and smiling to us like okay bye-bye? Jerk. XD
[13.] So lemme get this straight… The Medjai can get to all the locations in the second movie while moving slowly on horseback, but the baddies need a train and a caravan of camels and the good guys need a dirigible? Uhm… let’s talk about distances and travel times, shall we? Haha. This is another aspect of writing these kinds of stories that needs to be paid attention to. Horses do not travel at the same speeds as camels, trains, and dirigibles. Also, if they knew the legend and knew that the big showdown with the Scorpion King would only occur at the last location the bracelet showed, then why did the Medjai travel around to all the locations? Why didn’t Ardeth just wait until they found the last location (which, didn’t they already kindof know it was in Ahm Shere anyway? Ardeth said the freaking legend right in the beginning of the damn movie, heh) and then just have them travel there? Because I doubt it was a linear path. He probably had these poor people trekking all around the frackin’ desert like, “Come on Ardeth, cut to the chase already!”
[14.] Okay, I love Horus. I do. But. There is no way… that a falcon… no matter how well trained… can go back and forth between two groups of people if he doesn’t know where they’re gonna be! I mean really?! Falcons are taught to fly to specific people (and yes, they have favorites) and specific locations. So he’s used to flying to Ardeth and he’s probably been familiarized with one or two other chieftains/commanders at least if not more. Okay. That’s fine. Now… Ardeth is in one place. He gives Horus a message and sends him off. Horus is trained to fly back to the location he last saw the other person! So he would go there and give the message and then fly back to Ardeth in the last place he saw Ardeth! And when he got there, Ardeth wouldn’t be there! XD And even if he managed to find him… the next message he was given to take to the other commanders… where would he bring it? Back to where he saw them last! (facepalm) I mean he can’t anticipate where they’re going to be and you can’t talk to a falcon and tell him where to go, heh. They’re trained specifically to go to certain places and people. There is a chance that he will go back to where he saw them last and circle for a while looking for them, but if they were covering as much ground as the bracelet was showing us in the movie, I doubt Horus would circle that wide looking for these people, heh.
[15.] Ardeth’s first thought when faced with a wall of Imhotep-shaped water that could bring down the dirigible and kill him and everyone else in it was to save Horus by telling him to fly away. FEELS. I mean, I possibly also think he let him fly to show them the best way out of the canyon (because the falcon is more instinctive than humans are), since Rick watched Horus and then told Izzy the way to go based on where he flew, but still… I like to think that Ardeth was kindof telling Horus to save himself. Well I don’t like to think it, I do think it. =)
[16.] Why is Ardeth commanding the entire Medjai army at the end of the second movie? Maybe Ardeth is a regional chieftain, but when all the tribes come together, he should be outranked by the higher commanders. So it is my understanding that there are twelve tribes, each with its own commander, and then regional chieftains within each tribe. The way I write him, I’ve kindof blended chieftain with commander, largely because to me Ardeth seemed to function much more like a commander. So screw it I’m making him one as far as duties are concerned heh. But in his particular religious warrior society, I would guess that three things should be respected above all: experience, age, and religious conviction. He’s got the last one, but he’s only in his late twenties in the first movie and early to mid-thirties in the second. Some of the other chieftains looked to be 40-60 years of age. Ardeth should not be commanding the whole combined army of all the Medjai tribes against the Army of Anubis at the end of the second movie, in my opinion. I mean, he looked amazing doing it so I’m really not going to complain, but... It seems unrealistic to me based on how tribal societies and religious organizations like his should normally be run. Did his actions during the first movie make all the other chieftains/commanders think hey, this guy can really handle his shit, let’s put him in charge even though he’s 10-20 years younger than us? I mean yeah, Imhotep got out, but Ardeth & Co. successfully imprisoned him again. That probably earned him a lot of kudos with the higher Medjai. Also, perhaps because the waking of Anubis’ Army pertained also to another awakening of Imhotep, it fell within the “jurisdiction” of his region, so since he was charged with all things Imhotep, it was his deal to lead all of the Medjai to help destroy him again? But the Army of Anubis had nothing to do with Imhotep, really. It had to do with Anubis and the Scorpion King. It was just that they woke Imhotep up to kill the Scorpion King and take over the Army… which I guess is reason enough. Whose jurisdiction did the locations in the second movie fall under? Were they all in Ardeth’s region? Because… that’s a big ass region, heh. I feel like at least one other chieftain should have been involved? But then also… he introduces the twelve commanders of the tribes of the Medjai like they work for him, heh. And they listen to him! So… I mean… there either has to be something else going on with Ardeth that we just weren’t privy to, or he had a history that was never explained, or they just saw a ton of potential in him and were maybe grooming him to take a higher leadership position? I am exploring all of those options in RPs because I can. XD
[17.] Again, I love Ardeth and he looks amazing when he’s fighting, but… there’s no way he would have survived the first round of battle with Anubis’ army at the end of the second movie. He had not slept at all that night and had fought through most of it. He would be exhausted and dehydrated and probably sore as hell. As a writer, I really focus on things like this because I’ve written full-scale battles just like that, sometimes after the character have been traveling for days or weeks, haven’t slept in a while, are wounded, are sick, are suffering from exposure, etc. As a writer, you need to keep track of all that. Your characters should not be super heroes (unless, you know, they are actual legit super heroes, and then okay but… make some rules and limits on their abilities and be consistent, heh). Ardeth was a normal human being with no magical powers whatsoever. He needs to sleep. And drink water. Think about it… He went from fighting in the jungle of Ahm Shere (including his fight with Lock-Nah), to what… running out of that jungle and through the damn desert to find his people because he didn’t have his horse or camel with him and the dirigible was down and Horus was dead (nope just winged, I swear, he’s okay folks)… and then went right from that into battling Anubis’ army? Soldiers that were godlike and huge and probably really freaking strong? We never saw him sleep or eat or drink any water. I’m sorry but… as cool as Ardeth is, he would have been having some serious exhaustion and dehydration issues which would have definitely affected his ability to fight.
[18.] Why is it that Ardeth ties back his hair in the second movie almost consistently in every situation but when he’s in battle and needs it out of his face? I know why. It’s because he looks a helluva a lot sexier fighting with his hair in his face, heh. But in all seriousness, as a warrior, your life depends on you being able to see clearly and from all angles. Hair in your face could spell death for you. As a supposedly seasoned warrior, Ardeth would have always had his hair tied back when he was in battle, assuming he wasn’t ambushed and had time to think about it. And really, he should want to keep it very short. Long hair is a liability. It can get caught on equipment and weapons. Your enemy can grab hold of it. Again, I’m not gonna argue to hard because his hair is amazing, but it made no sense from a warrior’s point of view to have it down in every single fight he was in.
[19.] Ardeth cries out Horus’ name when he’s shot down and starts to run after him, as if he’s a person who can respond back to the call, and as if Ardeth can reach him. It’s an immediate and emotional response. It speaks to the level of respect he had for the bird, but also to the depth of Ardeth’s love for him. He loved that damn falcon to bits. I firmly believe that. He wasn’t just a pet… or a living, breathing messenger bag, heh… he was Ardeth’s friend. Sad as hell. I hate that scene. [Stay tuned for a one shot shortly on this blog (as soon as I get time to write it) I which I change this and have Horus reunite with Ardeth.]
[20.] Omg Ardeth, you never do a sword flourish on horseback when riding at full speed toward an army of evil god warriors, haha. Wtf happens if you drop it? Great. Now you’re unarmed. Why would you even risk it? You also would not THROW the weapon. There was no guarantee that it would fall perfectly stuck into the sand such that he could retrieve it. In a life or death fight, this is simply too reckless. The stakes were too high for heroics and badassery. He should have been trying to stay alive every bit as much as fighting Anubis’ warriors. Beyond that, these people would have really valued their swords. Metal is expensive and making weapons is not something anybody can do. It is probably very difficult and/or expensive for the Medjai to make their own swords because where are they getting the metal from? They would probably scavenge weapons from the dead or buy them from cities and towns. But there’s no way they would be throwing them like they were a dime a dozen.
[21.] Ardeth is a good leader. Seriously. Like… I can see why he was put in such a position of power at such a young age, if that’s really what happened in the whole Medjai society. Like if it was decided or voted on, I mean. He does not act impulsively, and he does not risk the lives of his men unnecessarily. When Rick lights the dynamite when the Medjai attack the camp at Hamunaptra, Ardeth immediately decides this fight is over. He made his point, and if they stay longer, a lot more lives will be lost for not much more proving of the point. At the end of the second movie, when he orders the Medjai army to fight the Army of Anubis basically to their deaths, the way he does it is to make it not sound much like an order at all. He basically just yells out that he’s fighting to the death and it’s assumed that this is an order but it sounds more like “I’m with you” than “go die,” heh. He takes the time to look at the men standing closest to him. He knows there’s no other choice for them, but he places himself on their level when he looks at them. It’s not a decision made without consideration for the value of their lives. He understands the gravity of the decision and what he’s asking them to do because he’s going to die right alongside them. It’s a small gesture that really boosts morale in the moment, even as grim as their situation was. And the cool thing about Ardeth is that he didn’t even do it for that reason, he did it because he actually cared about the people he was fighting with.
[22.] When Ardeth makes the decision to die fighting Anubis’ army, and thus makes that decision for everyone else standing there with him, what is going on in his head? I mean, there really was only one choice, given the Medjai’s conviction, and even if they had chosen to flee, I doubt they would have actually escaped. There was nowhere to run. But after making that seriously heavy decision, did he feel badly for essentially telling the whole of the Medjai to die right here and now? And what about his own life? I have always headcanoned that Ardeth assumed he would not live to be an old man. It had nothing to do with skill or luck or anything like that, but he had seen countless other Medjai fall before their natural time. Such was the nature of his calling in life. So when he decides that he is going to die fighting Anubis’ army, was he thinking… “geez, I didn’t think I’d have this much time to ponder this?” He probably expected to die young, but I bet he thought it would happen randomly, in a split-second, in the heat of battle. I don’t think he ever planned on having all that time while waiting for the army to reach them to think, “hey… this is it. I’m going to die right now.” And then, when the army is banished, he had to be thanking Allah for that, and I think he might have believed that the courage of the Medjai had been rewarded. Perhaps he or other members of the society would tell the story for years to come of the time their faith and bravery was tested… and they passed the test.
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★ fill in the questions as if you are being interviewed for an article and you were your muse.
TAGGED BY: @marching-man
TAGGING: ANYONE! EVERYONE! @viltismanedar @kwiecista @ofeire have you done this yet
1. WHAT IS YOUR NAME?
full name? Feliks Aleksander Krzysztof Łukasiewicz.
2. WHAT IS YOUR REAL NAME?
Rzeczpospolita Polska, the Republic of Poland.
3. DO YOU KNOW WHY YOU’RE CALLED THAT?
......uh, because i’m Poland? no offense but that’s a really dumb question.
4. ARE YOU SINGLE OR TAKEN?
eh... I’m in a pretty lowkey relationship right now. and even if i were single i wouldn’t go out with you.
5. WHAT ARE YOUR POWERS AND ABILITIES?
other than being immortal, you mean? hmm.... well, specific to me I’m pretty fast and super resilient. also for some reason when i work with mechanical stuff it... does weird things. like, “i think i just broke physics” things. stuff like Stepping and fast healing and picking up languages quickly, those are just regular Nation things so i don’t usually think about them.
6. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?
green. (bats eyelashes) aren’t they pretty?
7. HAVE YOU EVER DYED YOUR HAIR?
I had green-and-pink highlights during my punk phase. don’t look at me like that. everyone’s gotta have a punk phase.
8. DO YOU HAVE ANY FAMILY MEMBERS?
Nation-wise, a shit-ton of cousins and a sister. i consider my citizens family too, but other than that it’s me and my cat.
9. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?
szczesiek! he’s white and fluffy and i love him.
10. TELL ME ABOUT SOMETHING YOU DON’T LIKE.
Prussia. snakes. being cold. Prussia. people who take up a ton of space on the train. people who bring their dogs on the train. Prussia. games with too many fetch quests. did I mention Prussia yet?
11. DO YOU HAVE ANY HOBBIES OR ACTIVITIES YOU DO IN YOUR SPARE TIME?
mostly sewing or computer games. i play piano. in summer i go horseback riding a lot. also i like baths! i don’t know if that counts as a hobby but i love it. it’s really relaxing.
12. HAVE YOU EVER HURT ANYONE BEFORE?
(cheerfully) ‘course.
13. HAVE YOU EVER… KILLED ANYONE?
(still cheerfully) yep!
14. WHAT KIND OF ANIMAL ARE YOU?
like, what would i be? sometimes i think ‘cat’ and sometimes i think ‘bird’. depends on like, the alignment of the stars or something. mmm... tonight i’ll say cat.
15. NAME YOUR WORST HABITS.
i’ve been told i’m annoying but who pays attention to that shit? (laughs) no really though. i know i’m bad at reading people so i can be... pretty thoughtless. i say dumb things. ‘cause i don’t really think about how it’ll affect anyone else? normally it doesn’t bother me that much. it... makes some relationships harder than they should be though....
16. DO YOU LOOK UP TO ANYONE?
Ealga is like the mom i never had. we don’t talk very much anymore-- we’re both busy with our own stuff-- but i still admire her more than i think she knows. and my sister Magda is pretty awe-inspiring. i would cheerfully kill for her and might even consider dying for her.
17. GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?
ACE ACE BABY. my current romantic partner’s male, if you care about that stuff.
18. DO YOU GO TO SCHOOL?
i’d love to go back and get a second degree....maybe a teacher’s license actually, that would be awesome...... but no, i’m not.
19. DO YOU EVER WANT TO MARRY AND HAVE KIDS SOMEDAY?
mm. marriage for Nations is-- complicated. if i were human i might. as it stands, though, i can barely handle the responsibilities i do have, never mind a political union.
also for the record, i would be a terrible parent.
20. DO YOU HAVE ANY FANS?
uh....... my neighbour seems pretty fond of me? i guess? what does this even mean who writes these questions
21. WHAT ARE YOU MOST AFRAID OF?
i’ll admit to being scared of snakes, ‘cause everyone knows that. you must be a level 800 friend to unlock anything else.
22. WHAT DO YOU USUALLY WEAR?
i adore crop tops. my go-to street outfit is a nice soft one with jeans and boots and loads of jewelry. i have a bunch of cute sundresses too but it depends on my mood and who i’m with. some of my friends, ah-- subscribe more to human views of gender than others.
23. DO YOU LOVE SOMEONE?
(blushes and fidgets while muttering something about “too soon to talk about it”)
24. WHAT CLASS ARE YOU?
i live a generally middle-class lifestyle these days. comfortable but not super fancy.
25. HOW MANY FRIENDS DO YOU HAVE?
.....are you asking for exact numbers? because i’d have to be pretty damn pathetic to know that off the top of my head.
26. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON PIE?
pi is an outdated construct that you can’t actually work with half the time. use tau instead.
27. FAVORITE DRINK?
(cups hands around mouth and shouts) WHO WON BEST VODKA AT THE INTERNATIONAL WINE AND SPIRITS COMPETITION FIVE YEARS RUNNING, HUH IRINA? --anyway, you can’t get drunk on beer, everyone knows that.
29. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE?
Kraków, probably. it’s still really special to me.
30. ARE YOU INTERESTED IN SOMEONE?
(side-eyes) would i be in a relationship if i wasn’t?
31. WHAT’S YOUR BRA SIZE?
32AA.
32. WOULD YOU RATHER SWIM IN THE LAKE OR THE OCEAN?
i love swimming in the ocean. salt water waves are a very specific experience you just can’t replicate inland.
33. WHAT’S YOUR ‘TYPE’?
apparently snake-kissing pagan assholes. ....uh, don’t tell toris i said that, he doesn’t think the pagan thing is funny anymore
34. ANY FETISHES?
no comment.
35. TOP OR BOTTOM? DOMINANT OR SUBMISSIVE?
NO COMMENT
36. CAMPING, OR INDOORS?
(shudders) indoors indoors indoors
37. ARE YOU WAITING FOR THIS INTERVIEW TO BE OVER?
why, is it over now? are you leaving? do you need help finding the door--?
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para || Braine: A New Path, 1/04/2017
Tagging: @mr-blainderson and @squaredancing-weston
Time: Wednesday Morning, 4 January 2017
Setting: Boarding Facility (and trails), Harrod, OH
Summary: Brody and Blaine both need to get away from Lima’s crazy, so Brody takes Blaine to learn the basics of horseback riding.
Part 2
"Oh, I'm sure. I mean, he's adorable and tiny, and those type //never// wreak chaos," Brody continued to tease. He was sure that the dog would be fine for a couple hours: probably sleeping on the bed or something, in the lap of luxury that his owner had set up for him. "Well, it sounds like a good size, definitely-- less worries about crushing the poor guy with a wrong step. He certainly looks Blaine-sized anyways. I'm sure the two of you will go out in no time in matching bowties." He chuckled at the idea, then nodded. "Oh, no-- I mean, my family's had a dog. But he was just you know, one of those normal outside mutts that wandered around the ranch and chased cats and stuff. God, Bandit must have died when I was, what? Twelve?" He shook his head and shrugged. "Anyways, we didn't replace him. Four teenagers and half a dozen horses or so, didn't really have time for playing fetch, you know? Same with the cats-- they were all outdoors, and barely had names. Mostly just for pest-control. And I don't think I would've wanted a rodent-- we had enough rats running around the place." He scrunched up his face. Blaine's expression wasn't something Brody was expecting, and he felt suspicious-- did Blaine know? Well, apparently Dani knew something was going on between him and Marley, so he hadn't been as discreet as he thought with her, but they'd just been discussing Bas. He //knew// he hadn't been flaunting any sort of weird thing with him. So why was Blaine looking at him like that? Brody pushed the thought from his mind determinedly-- he did //not// want to think about people knowing his personal business, and he had to be just reading into things because he was upset about the whole situation. It was that easy. Brody scoffed at Blaine's reply, arching an eyebrow at the back of his head, "Somehow I doubt that will be too difficult," he called to the other man.
Brody smiled. "Well, next time you should. Or at least send out a text-- it's not like my holiday was that exciting. I would have come out to see. Maybe made a drinking game out of your set if I got bored," he added jokingly. His face fell a little at Blaine's admission: Brody knew about family problems, and his own was a sore spot, so he could definitely sympathize. "Third? Ouch. Okay, you realize that I now have to officially adopt you and take you out for the holidays, because that's a crap draw. Except, you know, the singing bit-- that's okay. Oh! Next year, we'll go caroling," he suggested, although that honestly sounded heinous to him-- not because he hated singing (even though he wasn't especially good), but because Brody despised the cold Ohio weather. But he'd bear it for Blaine-- or at least he would right now when he didn't actually have to do it. "I'm surprised you found someone sober enough to remember the lyrics with you," he remarked with a smirk. Brody didn't really know that song sober, and he had no idea what the crowd would have been like that night. The older man nodded along with Blaine's thoughts: it was really great to hear him sound so passionate about something like that. "Well, I guess it's one of those 'Don't quit your day job, but don't give up' kind of things, right? I mean, there's a lot of opportunities to chase a passion, if you're willing to look." He straightened up in his saddle and threw a smile over at Blaine. "Look, I know I'm not //that// old, but...dancing does have a sort of age cap on it. I know I hit my peak about ten years ago, but at least I still get to mess around now. I don't mind coaching." He shrugged; it hurt, obviously, losing his chance, but he'd had a long time to come to terms with it, and he was generally pretty happy with the way his life had gone, career-wise. He grumbled in faux disappointment, "Fine, fine-- no giant foam finger. Just the big megaphone and banner then."
Brody liked the whole nature aspect of the ride: he imagined that's what drew people to the idea of horses in the first place. It was away from the hustle and bustle and drama of real life, and you got to see things that you normally missed in the suburbs. Like a deer. Blaine's eyes were sweeping the area, possibly trying to search for anything else, and sure enough there was a second half-hidden in the brush. Brody figured that there weren't anymore besides, but hey-- two deer was something. His borrowed horse snorted, apparently bored with the cold and standing around part of the ride, and suddenly the animals sprung into action, bounding off and away from the scary humans staring at them. "And there they go," he commented with a dry laugh, before pushing his heels gently and clicking his tongue to spur the horse onward. "If I could figure out a way to get my kids to pay that kind of attention," he commented, glancing back at Blaine, "I feel like I would have a much higher GPA in my Algebra class, you know?"
"Oh of course not, they're completely perfect angels. Or at least they are in my mind, lest I leave early due to my worry," he replied, smiling. He was starting to get slightly worried, but he shook it off and continued. "For sure, though I have been extra careful with my steps lately, since he's pretty decently small right now. And you're not wrong, I've scouted some dog sized bow ties at Target. I'm beyond excited." He was trying his best to joke about it, but it was honestly an exciting prospect to Blaine to go out to a special occasion, matching bow ties and all. Blaine nodded in understanding. "Gotcha. Bandit, that sounds like a good fit from what I know about your ranch life." Which he would admit, wasn't much, but it was a nice picture; a family ranch with a dog running around. "Well, I'm sad to hear that regardless, Lula might just be the reason I got through some of the things I did, as smoothly as I did." He shrugged and smiled. "But I'm also going to assume that you had enough to keep you busy, I could see where a dog as an actual pet would be hard." He noticed Brody scrunch up his face and internally panicked for a second, but he quickly decided not to dwell on the moment and he moved one. He grinned and shook his head. "Yeah, somehow I have the same feeling." He bowed his head, hiding his blush. "Uh, yeah, I will." His blush quickly subsided as he shot Brody a look and stuck his tongue out at him. "Well, at least you've encouraged me to make sure that my set is so amazing that you can't possibly get bored." He watched Brody ramble, with a small, amused smile on his face. "Well, I don't oppose you adopting me, but I will ask that you don't add caroling for my benefit. To be honest, I hardly like caroling myself." He shivered at the thought. Walking in the cold, having only a few families actually listen and not slam the door upon arrival. Blaine glanced at Brody and grinned. "Yeah, I never said they were sober, but they managed to fight their way through it. It was a good show." He twisted in his saddle to find a position that was even slightly more comfortable than the one he was in, but it was proving a little difficult. "Exactly. I'm not aiming for the 'big shot' by any means, but I'd like to reach a bigger audience if I can. Hell, I may try YouTube or something." He finally settled, realizing that it was a lost cause and defiantly telling himself that it wasn't /that bad/. He smiled back and shrugged.
"If you say so, but I still have faith that you could if you tried. But it's great that you like coaching, at least you're not miserable, regretting your life choices." He noted the shrug, noticing that behind the tough exterior, it may bother him more than he wanted to admit. Blaine rolled his eyes. "If I get the choice, stick with the finger.
Blaine watched the deer leave, smile still in tact as he watched. He was snapped out of his trance by a laugh, and he looked back at Brody. He laughed and shrugged. "People tend to pay attention to what they havent experienced before. These kids have been sitting in these classes ranging anywhere from 9-13 years, they're over it. I, on the other hand, have only seen a deer when it was standing on the side of the road as I pass it in my car. This was new."
"Can't have that," Brody agreed, "so yeah-- definitely an angel. Yeah, but I mean, at least right now your eyes are pretty much on him all the time anyways, right? So it shouldn't be too bad until he's bigger." The older man's eyes widened in surprise. "Seriously? They really have dog bow ties?" He could see that that sounded like something Blaine would actually like, so he wanted to be supportive-- and it didn't sound awful, considering he'd be matching his owner-- but he was still floored that some person had made them in the first place and gotten a large-scale retail to sell them. Brody nodded, "Yeah, he fit in pretty well. He probably liked Jeff best if he was going to like one of us, but that's because Jeffy's butt stayed off the horses," he laughed. "Lula was your family's cocker, right?" he asked with a slight frown in thought. He honestly couldn't imagine Blaine having any problems growing up-- the guy was a human puppy, and who would kick a puppy?-- but between a rough family connection and Brody's recollection of Blaine telling him about transferring to Dalton when he was in high school, apparently it wasn't as easy as he imagined. "It's good that you had her. I guess I just didn't have it that rough growing up," he admitted. "Or if I did, I was too tunnel-visioned to notice. I pretty much had dance running in the background all the time unless I was actually doing it, so I might have missed when something important was happening." Brody had had a great childhood, as far as he remembered: not without some drama, but not like the bullying or overall angst that Spencer and some others had referred to. It was starting to make him wonder how much he was actually paying attention in school. "Yeah, I mean, the horses were pets too, so it wasn't like I didn't have anyone to bond with. Star, Bay, Oprah, Mike, St. Pauli, Max, and Chaz, and those were just the ones in high school." He laughed nostalgically, considering how he and his brothers had taken to naming the horses. He'd never really felt deprived without a dog, to be honest. "Damn straight," he laughed, nodding his head stubbornly. He could be an ass, but he knew he was better than Bas.
Brody bobbed his head in understanding, pressing his lips together. "I mean-- do you want to talk about it?" he asked. Families were tricky, and while Brody himself was never keen on discussing his problems, he could see how someone like Blaine might get something out of venting. If he wanted. Brody flashed him a grin. "Good." He leaned over his horse and pushed lightly at Blaine's shoulder, "You better." Blaine's reaction caused the older man's grin to turn impish, "See? I'm helping already," he teased. "Good-- you'll like having D as a mom. She's overprotective as hell, but she's got a cabinet full of Jack and likes Disney movies. Heck, if you tell her you're into jazz, you'll probably become her favorite kid ever. Oh, thank god," he responded with an exaggerated breath of relief. "I freaking hate the cold honestly. I mean, I can handle being out here like this--" he gestured the early morning around them, "but if I'm going to be outside, I'd rather be constantly on the move, you know? Hey, maybe instead of caroling we'll go Karaoking," he offered. "It's warmer, there's more variety in the music, and there's food." Brody laughed. "Well, that actually makes it sound way better-- I want to see your Duet with a Drunk. You could make that a regular thing and put it on YouTube with your normal sets." He leaned back slightly in his saddle, careful to keep his posture correct, because the last thing you wanted was to get caught in a bad position.
"Hey, I'm not doing so bad. I like my kids. And yeah, that would kind of suck." Brody regretted a lot of his choices in his life, but coaching dance was actually not one of them. Brody grinned again at Blaine's response. "Yes! Big Red Finger! We're number 1!"
Brody chuckled. "I was actually talking about the deer, but yeah-- you were equally enthralled, so good point. Really? You've never seen a deer just out and about?" He arched an eyebrow curiously-- he'd seen deer everywhere growing up. They were like cats in his mind-- just kept popping up in random fields like they belonged there or something. He assumed everyone had had the same experience. "We'll have to get you out here during spring and fall," he added with a smirk. "Make sure you get a full variety-- turkeys and bunnies and squirrels to go with your deer experience. You'll be a regular cub scout."
Blaine nodded and laughed. "Yeah, this is the first time that I've been away from him. So I guess we'll see. I'm putting my faith in him right now." He was bemused by Brody's surprise and he chuckled. "They do, yeah. Not too many options, but they've given me a starting place at least. It probably wouldn't be a constant thing. I'm not one of those monsters that make their dogs stay in clothing year round. But on little outings or such, it'd be cute." He grinned and laughed with Brody. "So is Jeff your...brother, I assume?" Blaine nodded and smiled at the thought of his old family pet, though sadly at the times he was referring to. He had gone through some pretty rough patches in his life, with the bullying and the constant family coldness. It had caused something of a depression in Blaine's early years, and Lula was the only thing that made him feel better. He offered Brody a weak smile. "That's good though, right? I'm glad you didn't have it rough and that you had dance to get you through things like that." He smiled a little more genuinely with a small shrug. "When I transferred to Dalton and joined the Warblers, it helped quite a bit. So it's not like my life was just all bad. Just...different." Blaine's eyes widened at the names of the horses and he tried to hold back his laughter. "Okay, /who/ came up with those names and what's the story behind them because those are fantastic."
Blaine's smile faltered slightly at the question. He knew that he could trust Brody and confide in him, but it was a lot, and something that even Blaine had been avoiding working through because he thought that he didn't need to. So he just let out a shaky laugh and shook his head, trying to play it off. "I don't want to bore you with that, Brodes. Besides, there's not really too much to tell." At Brody's remarks, Blaine just rolled his eyes with a smile, bringing his hand up to scratch the back of his neck, something that had become a nervous tick for him of sorts. It had been a little over a year since he had heard anyone actually /want/ to hear his music, and he had started getting set in his quiet, hermit ways. So hearing Brody talk like that made him slightly uncomfortable, but in a good way. A way that he could get used to. "Well, it's a good thing that I love Jazz, then. I love being the favorite child." Not that he ever had been, but he liked the prospect. Blaine nodded in understanding. "Yeah, no I completely understand. While I'm not outdoors just all the time, when I am, I'm usually running or being active in some way. I hate just standing out in the cold though. So yes, karaoke sounds like the much better option here." Blaine looked thoughtful for a moment and nodded. "You may be on to something there, my friend. Bring your camera whenever you come to a show; I'm depending on you to catch these moments. So that means no Red Finger." Blaine smiled softly at him and nodded. "I like my kids too, even if I want to stab myself in the eye sometimes. It's good to know that if music doesn't pan out, I'll have them."
Blaine shook his head, shrugging. "It's kind of surprising too, because we lived in a rather large out kind of just on the edge of the woods. Granted, I spent most of my time studying music, watching musicals, writing music, dancing; so I didn't really notice when Bambi showed up in the backyard. Thankfully there were no hunters involved." Blaine shot a pointed look in Brody's direction, but chuckled. "As long as I get one of those cool sashes and your provide me with patches, we can do that."
"Well, better his first time being a couple hours out here then waiting till eight hours of the first day of classes, right?" Brody agreed. "I'm sure he'll be fine. Man, well, I mean, really?” The concept floored him for a second, but when Blaine reminded him about literal dog outfits that he’d seen himself, his mind relented on his skepticism, filling in with his own experiences. “Yeah, I guess I can think of worse things to do with your dog. I once saw a poor German Shepherd in a tutu, so I hardly think a little bowtie every now and again is anything cruel. And if you added a little sweater vest for Christmas, I’m sure no one would blame you,” he added, cocking a half grin. Brody nodded. “Oh, yeah-- younger brother. Kind of a puppy, like you, though he’s about 28 now. I’ve got two older ones too, Mark and Bob. But they’re all back home in Cali, you know? Don’t come out here that often.” Scratch that; his family had never come out to see him, but Brody didn’t want people to notice things like that if he could help it, so he smiled when he talked about his family and played the words easy. His past was too complicated for the water cooler, and he preferred to keep those cards close to the chest. Blaine looked a little sad at reminiscing his old dog, and Brody wondered how rough it must have been to lose her-- Blaine already seemed ridiculously attached to this one. If kid-Blaine was using her as a living diary, so-to-speak, he was probably felt like he’d lost his best friend. “Yeah, I mean, I’m not the guy that goes searching out drama, so I’m glad I missed it. But, you know...” he faltered, feeling guilty that he couldn’t really empathize with his friend and coworker. He wished the guy had just had an easier time and therefore could empathize with him. When Blaine perked up at the mention of Dalton, Brody smiled. “They really were something for you, weren’t they?” he asked, recalling their earlier conversation about Blaine’s desire to teach there. If Brody were guessing, he’d say that place seemed more like home than Blaine’s home had. “I bet they’ll be lucky to have you-- when you get to transfer, I mean,” he added. “Do you still keep in touch with any of those guys?” Brody outright laughed at Blaine’s reaction to his childhood horses. He didn’t blame the guy-- they were arguably pretty amusing names, although they definitely fit. “Oh man, we all did, pretty much. I mean, Oprah was Jeffy’s-- he said it was because she was nice and listened to him, but honestly I think it was because she was black and kind of chubby, but that sounds ridiculously racist and I’d rather you didn’t repeat that. Um, Bay and Star were Mark’s, which are actually pretty stupid names if you know anything about horses. Delilah, for example--” he leaned over and pointed to his mare “--is a bay quarterhorse. Bay just is a shade of brown. And that white stripe on her head? Hers is called an ‘irregular blaze’ technically. A star is what they call it when it’s just kind of a white dot on their forehead. Because Mark’s dull as dishwater,” he laughed. “Uh, Mike and St. Pauli are alcohol brand names, so you can tell where Bob’s mind was at, even in middle school. Max and Chaz are mine-- they just honestly seemed like decent names. Plus when I got mad at them I could call them Maximillian and Charlotte Ann, which somehow sounds more serious? I don’t know,” he shook his head-- Brody wasn’t really that original at naming his own things. His truck was Trixie, for pete’s sake.
Brody understood the value of secrets-- there were a lot of reasons not to talk about things, after all. And while he and Blaine were friends (or at least friendly), Brody certainly wasn’t the guy’s confidant. So how badly the guy was trying to play off his past wasn’t Brody’s business-- he just nodded in understanding, respecting his coworker’s privacy. “Yeah, just, you know, if you want to vent about boring stuff,” he followed up, leaving the door open without forcing Blaine anywhere near it. He hunched a bit in the saddle, rolling his eyes, but Blaine’s smile didn’t look overly uncomfortable about the idea of Brody seeing him perform-- although if the guy forgot to text him, the older man wouldn’t hold it against him. Some hobbies were better kept separated from work. Brody himself laughed, “See? You fit in already. Well, just don’t be too good-- you might end up replacing me as her favorite guy period, and then where would I be? That’s my True Love right there. You just stay the favorite son, and we’ll be good. I’ll teach you to ride a bike and everything. And hey, look! I’m already putting you on your first horse-- I’ve totally got the hang of this.” He laughed and smiled. “Okay, good-- we’re on the same page. We’ll find a winter-themed karaoke night and go there for the holidays.” Brody wrinkled his nose, “What? You’re putting me behind the lens? You know those people can’t talk, Blaine? Ruins the quality. You would silence me just for YouTube hits? Who’s going to make the weird whooping noises for you?” He put on a faux pout, although he would definitely help Blaine if he could. “Hey, though-- I could put you in touch with the AV kid that set up my channel, if you want. I mean, mine is really simple, but the quality’s got a draw.” Brody laughed. “Yeah, they can be a handful, but would you really get so frustrated you’d want to damage your most potent weapons? I think that’s a horrible thing to threaten Blaine,” he teased lightly.
“Well, at least you were doing something constructive,” Brody consoled him. “And anyways-- deer kind of all look the same, so you can just take that image right there--” he gestured to the empty field “-superimpose it in your backyard, and bam-- exact same idea.” He gave a dry laugh, “Yeah, well, you won’t see them on these trails either-- too many people potentially wandering around, plus it would spook the horses. There’s better areas, I’m sure. I mean, I don’t waste my time, since I can barely hit the broad side of a barn with a shot, but I hear the kids talk.” His face broke into a smirk at Blaine’s expression, but he nodded, “Absolutely-- we’ll have a ceremony every time you get a new one. With cookies and punch.”
Blaine looked thoughtful, figuring that Brody had a point. “Yeah, I guess that’s true; this way he can work up to it. Though I feel that would work better if I was actually going to be gone from home the next couple of days as well.” He couldn’t help but laugh at the thought of a German Shepherd in a tutu. But then he thought about how sad the poor thing must have looked and he quieted down. “Yeah, tutus are a bit much. There’s accessorizing and then there’s overkill. A Christmas vest would be cute, I’ll have to keep an eye out for those this year.” Blaine grinned as he heard that Brody had a puppy in the family. “Well, I guess that means that my ‘puppy’ charm won’t work on you, if you’re used to it.” Blaine nodded in understanding, adding a sigh. “I know how that goes. Well, obviously, not to the same extent, they actually live in Ohio, but even then, they don’t visit too often.” He glanced over at Brody, giving him a small smile. “I’m sorry they don’t get to visit much. It must suck to be so far away from them.”
He tried to hide his smile as Brody tried to relate to him. He appreciated the attempt, and he would always be grateful for it. Blaine’s life was far from the worst life to possibly live, but he knew he had struggles that were kind of difficult for people to either relate to or understand, and he never held it against them, the few people that he did open up to. He let his smile shine through though when the other asked about Dalton. “They were my family when I desperately needed one, student and teacher alike. It’s where I was able to actively express myself without having to worry about what was waiting around the corner.” Blaine’s smile faded slightly at Brody’s remarks at transferring. He had really started to love McKinley as well, and the friends he was able to establish there. While Dalton had been his home back then, he was starting to see McKinley as his home now. “If I transfer, anyways. Though I wouldn’t say that. I think I’m a good teacher, but I don’t know if I’d be able to keep up with Dalton’s curriculum,” he said, playing it off as much as he could. “You mean, aside from Bas? Every now and then, yeah. There are a couple who stayed around the area that I need to get in touch with again. It’s been ages.” Blaine watched Brody ramble through the list of names and how they came to be and laughed. “Your family sounds amazing. I also support your names; who doesn’t want to use Maximillian in an angry voice?”
Blaine pulled his lips up into a tight smile, genuine but distant. “Thank you, I’ll keep that in mind.” He had had a sudden urge to talk about everything but he kept it to himself. This day was a day to forget and relax, not pull up all the dark clouds that rested in his memory. He knew he wasn’t opposed to telling Brody and letting him in, but it just wasn’t the time. He snorted, listening as Brody rambled on, taking the true role of his adoptive father. “I solemnly swear not to steal your one true love. I’m okay with staying the favorite son. And yes, you’re the best dad ever. I’ll get you a mug and everything.” Blaine shook his head with a smile. “Deal, Christmas Karaoke it is then.” He shot the older male a strange look. “Hopefully no one, I’m hoping for genuine cheers. And you would have the most important job! Making sure that any great moment is captured for the world to see? Your role is almost more crucial than mine.” Blaine looked at him puzzled for a moment. “You have a channel? What do you use it for?” he asked out of genuine curiosity. He chuckled and shook his head. “No, I guess I wouldn’t.”
Blaine smiled and nodded, looking back out into the field. “Yeah, I guess that’ll have to do. I’m glad I won’t have to really worry about hunters here though. I don’t think my little heart could handle it.” Blaine grinned back, giving a short nod in approval. “Good, I expect the good kind as well. A 25 year old man getting his boy scout badges is a special occasion that deserves to be celebrated.”
Brody shrugged-- consistency would make for better routine, yeah. “I mean, you can keep coming up here, I don’t mind the company. But I think you’ll be sore enough tomorrow, so maybe not,” he offered dubiously-- Blaine didn’t seem to want to be far from Bing regardless, and riding wasn’t something you just started as a daily thing randomly. Blaine’s laugh at the poor dog’s misfortune caused Brody to crack a grin as well, although it really had been an unsettling thing to witness. “Well, it’ll make for a worthwhile Christmas card next year, that’s for sure,” he agreed. The older man bobbed his head, heart hurting as he thought about his baby brother back home. “I hope so-- I mean, it Jeffy called me up and asked for something, I’d still probably come running today, so not sure what that says about my resistance.” Literally-- Brody would jump off a cliff if Jeff would ask for it. But really, if any of his family was desperate enough to talk to him by now (besides his mom), he’d probably do anything. Brody’s brow furrowed unhappily at Blaine’s reveal-- what kind of asshole family lived in the same state and still wouldn’t see their kid? Especially if their kid was Blaine? “Well, I wouldn’t worry about it. Me and Dani make enough trouble over the holidays to set off a National response.” He bit his lip. “Yeah, well, I mean, between kids and jobs, life just happens. And, I mean, my mom calls all the time--” every one or two Fridays at dinner, like clockwork “-- so it’s not that big of a deal.”
Brody smiled at Blaine’s brightening when the subject of his old school came up. “That’s pretty amazing: I mean, not a lot of people have that, you know? Especially not through school.” The older man’s lips twitched a little at the amendment. “If? You don’t think you’ll get in?” Or maybe he’d actually like to stay? Brody knew public school had a lot of pitfalls, and McKinley probably more than most, but he really did like the new teacher, and would be glad to see him stick around for a while. “I mean, you handled it just fine as a student. I doubt you’d be any less capable as a teacher. Probably overqualified, since you know the place so well.” He flashed a grin in encouragement. Brody wished Bas’ name would stop coming up-- it kept bringing him up short, causing a sort of stutter to the conversation, that, while miniscule externally, felt jarring in his head. “Bas? Sebastian went to Dalton?” he echoed. He’d known the guy went to a private school growing up, but considering his law degree was from New York and his family from France, an Ohio-based school seemed a little baffling. Brody let out a chuckle. “Well, we all definitely had our quirks. I feel for our mom, really. Right though? I always liked a good normal name that can be put to good use.”
Blaine’s response felt honest, but also effectively closing the conversation, so Brody respectfully dropped it. Like he’d said-- he just wanted to put it out. Just in case. The older teacher grinned in amusement. “Good to hear-- you know how hard those things are to come by? I mean, favorite sons are a little tricky as well, but True Love-- I mean, that only happens with most protagonists of every tv show. Very rare. Oh goodie! I do love a good mug.” He laughed at the idea of Christmas Karaoke, “It’s a deal. No one? Well that’s just disappointing. I mean genuine cheers come come from anyone, but who will be so supportive that they’ll bring out foam fingers and overly dramatic applause?” he told Blaine, a faux serious expression on his face. “Oh yeah-- TitanicTexting-11? The AV Club set it up for me as my little texting box for my kids who can’t follow the No Phones in Class rule,” Brody revealed with a grin. “We mess around with the audio and do that weird silhouette thing for the faces, and then just mishmash a recording of all the texts I catch them sending that I force them to read in my little Confessional Box in the back of the class. It’s got a pretty decent subscription, just because kids like to laugh at each other.” Brody smirked triumphantly. “Exactly. You’ll just have to find something else to stab in frustration.”
Brody raised an eyebrow,” Because you’d be afraid of getting shot or because you don’t want to think about them getting shot?” he asked. “Seriously; we’re going to have to really expand on what sort of knowledge is expected of you. Like the Drinking Game badge, and the 100 Papers Graded in One Night badge,” he added with a laugh.
Blaine smirked at his friend and nodded a little, the stiffness in his legs already at the forefront of his mind. "Yeah, I think I'd probably refrain from riding again right off the bat. But we could still come give you company. As long as you don't go galloping off into he distance, we could always walk beside you. Or if you needed to work in the barn, I could come hang out, give you someone to talk to lest you become a crazy horse man." His grin didn't falter; he truly wouldn't mind coming and spending time with his friend. Especially when it seemed as though he was pushing the other two away. Blaine nodded, running through possible Christmas card ideas in his head. "You know, I think you're right. I'll send the first draft to you for approval." Blaine glanced over as Brody talked about his brother, sensing that something may be burrowed under the surface, but he refrained from asking further. "Well, it sounds as though he has you wrapped around his finger. He's lucky to have that." Blaine shook his head, a grin toying at his lips. "I can't wait to experience it then." He looked off into the distance as he nodded in understanding, though a tiny bubble of sad jealousy was bubbling within him. Blaine didn't even have he reassurance that it was his family's life that was keeping them from contact from him.
Blaine bobbed his head, still beaming. He knew how fortunate he was to be placed in a private school that not only had a zero-tolerance bullying policy, but was also filling with genuine and loving people that wanted to see him go far. "I'm not much for God, but that school was the closest I've gotten to believing he might actually exist." He knew that might sound strange, and he wasn't meaning to put his previous school on such a pedastal, but he had a lot of gratitude towards it, and he wasn't sure he'd ever be able to show it. Which may be another reason he didn't want to transfer; he didn't want to disappoint the school he came from. He looked at Brody thoughtfully as he shrugged his shoulders. "I don't really know," he smiled briefly, "though you may have a point; I think the fact that I went to school there would work in my favor. I just don't know. I graduated 7 years ago, there's no telling how it's evolved since then." Blaine was taken aback when Brody seemed to go into something of a trance. When his friend asked his question, a wave of realization washed over him. He spoke slowly. "He did, yeah. He was actually the first friend I made there, if you can believe that. Turns out he's not as big of a douchebag that he likes to let people believe he is." He observed Brody and continued carefully. "Is...is everything alright between you two?" Behind his perfect poker face, he knew the true answer, but he needed to attempt to get Brody's side of it. Blaine chuckled and shook his head. "Your mother must be one tough lady to deal with four boys with 'quirks'."
Blaine laughed outright. "Believe me, I know exactly how hard they are to get." He had to bite his tongue to refrain from being even more of a downer, to admit that it didn't take but five seconds for his father to choose a favorite son. He once again rolled his eyes, this time with affection at his friend. "I guess when you put it that way. Just start it off a little more subtly." His eyes grew in wonder as Brody explained his channel. He felt confident enough to raise his hands from the reigns and clap slowly before grasping them again. "That is absolutely genius and I'm going to need to watch those as soon as possible. If you take submissions, I'll give you some that my students sent; you can just grab volunteers for those, I guess." He stuck his tongue out at the other in mock defeat. "I can probably think of a few people, if I really set my mind to it." Blaine sighed with a small shrug. "Both I guess. Neither are particularly pleasant thoughts to me." Blaine just looked bemused at Brody. "Tell you what. Send me a list and I'll get started. Though I must tell you that I already have those two done."
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Chapter 13: Unlucky for some, fairly insignificant for others
Rules: https://dontfindyourcenter.tumblr.com/post/177027661290/rules
Previous: https://dontfindyourcenter.tumblr.com/post/177702645195/chapter-twelve-in-which-i-accidentally-do-three
Well, here we are on Ula’ula Island! First stop: Malie Gardens.
...I wrote quite a bit here, but I’ve deleted it because the most noteworthy thing that happened is that I spent three full minutes debating with myself as to whether Wash the toucannon should learn Screech instead of keep the moves he already had. In the end, I settled on “yes”. Groundbreaking.
Back out I go then, and just outside the gardens, my Rotodex introduces me to Professor Samson Oak. Honestly, I’d forgotten how much of this game it just being introduced to recurring characters? Anyway, Samson doesn’t really have a purpose in the whole game, but I do kind of like that he raises the implication that there are people with regional variants in Alola too. I wonder if Alolan Brock can open his eyes?
I meet up with Lillie outside Malie Library, where we’re met by everyone’s favourite flirt, Hapu. She tells my that my progress “must be pleasing to the tapu,” and if that’s not a fun Alolan way of telling me I’m God’s Gift, I don’t know what is. Unfortunately, this is the point where she gets distracted by Lillie, who will remain the main target of her affection until the end of the game. “My Mudsdale is sturdy as all get-out - she can easily carry two,” Hapu tells Lillie, before patting the Mudsdale’s flank and invitingly fluttering her eyelashes. Why didn’t I get the offer of a horseback ride into the sunset, Hapu?
Lillie and I then go into the library proper, where Lillie fails to find the book she wants until Trial Captain Acerola wanders up and says “Is this what you’re looking for, Princess?” Jesus, Lillie, leave some lesbians for the rest of us, would ya?
I stick around for a little while, but it couldn’t be more obvious that I’m a third wheel, and Lillie soon pointedly reminds me that I’ve got a trial to be getting along to. That’s told me.
Before I do go down route 10 for the next trial, though, it’s time to cause an argument outside the Recycling Plant to the north. See, a kid dressed like an ace trainer standing next to some heavy machinery points out that it’s probably not great that an eleven-year-old child is wandering around the restricted area of a recycling plant without supervision in the middle of the night. The janitor standing next to him hears this, though, and scolds the ace trainer for being so inhospitable, before trying to attack me with sentient slime.
I’m able to beat his alolan muk with just a couple of bonemarangs from Donna, though, and that’s when I find out the rest of the story. It turns out it’s a classic cats-in-the-cradle situation. See, the janitor is the ace trainer’s father, and he’s annoyed that his son gave up on his island challenge when he was younger instead of carrying on fighting even when the going got tough. That IS what cats in the cradle was about, right? I never listened to that song the whole way through. Anyway, inspired by his father’s words, the ace trainer decides to fight me too, and sends out his alolan grimer.
And hot damn, this guy’s actually pretty good! First of all, when Donna’s move misses her target, the grimer takes her out of action by hitting her with a Knock Off attack which (thank my lucky stars) leaves her with exactly 1 HP. Then, as I’m switching her out for Nina, he uses Poison Fang to badly poison her, and then uses minimize for the next few turns in a row until none of my moves are hitting him and Nina’s nearly been knocked out by the poison damage.
It could be looking pretty bleak at this point, but then I remember that I don’t actually have to hit him to do damage. Enter Wash, who uses Beak Blast. Although that doesn’t hit the target either, the grimer attacks Wash while he’s charging up the attack, and since Beak Blast involves heating up the user’s beak, the grimer ends up with a burn. For the rest of the battle, all I have to do is switch Digit Al the magneton and wait for the fire damage to kill the grimer off. Problem solved.
The janitor is just a little bit too smug about his child’s pet goo getting beaten up so badly. “
Tell you what though; seeing a grimer being used that well didn’t half make me miss Jabba. Rest in peace, lil’ buddy.
Right - now it’s time for route 10. And I soon run into a bit of good news; when Hedwig beats the poliwhirl of a rugged firefighter near the start of the route, he evolves into a Decidueye two levels earlier than I was expecting him to. Hooray! The best bit about this is that he now has markings around his eyes that look an awful lot like Harry Potter glasses, and you know who else wore those? Harry Potter, from the Harry Potter books! That’s where Hedwig’s name came from! It all feels very neat.
Before I know it, I’ve beaten all the trainers from route 10 apart from the two Team Skull Grunts right at the end. Well, ok… and one other. See, there are two people on the route who look like trainers, but won’t battle with me when we make eye contact. From memory, I can remember that one of these two will heal my pokemon, while the other is a trainer who will only battle me when I’ve beaten all the other trainers on the route. But I can’t remember for sure which is which, and I care too much about my rules to take the gamble. Bah.
Oh well - time to stop these two Skull Grunts from harassing an inanimate object. They don’t take kindly to me interrupting them angry-dancing at the bus stop, and send out a golbat (who loses to Digit Al) and then a raticate (who loses to Mr. Nancy). Well, that didn’t take too long!
Now, I could take the bus up to the trial site and finish off the chapter with a good old-fashioned totem battle… but it’s chapter thirteen, and while I’m not usually superstitious, my last two totem battles have been too brutal for me to take any chances. Guess this is just a short chapter today! Oh well!
End of chapter 13.
#ula'ula island#no Center challenge#suicide run challenge#Pokemon sun and moon#Pokemon moon#alola#malie gardens#cats in the cradle
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Bachelor Recap - Arie Wk.4
Hello all,
Sorry for the delay on the recap. School was busy today. Lame.
Anyways, we're off to Lake Tahoe, where there's wood paneling, taxidermy and Arie driving up in a red bronco without the top. I (and Kendall) am swooning. Let's head off to the dates...
1v1 w/Seinne
We're taking Seinne on a fishing boat on Lake Tahoe? Last time I saw a boat on Lake Tahoe, this happened. I'm a little worried for Seinne, but fortunately for her it's only parasailing. After this adventurous outing, Seinne mentions to Arie that she "needs to let go and go where the wind takes her". Just like parasailing! Oh the metaphor!
She also is worried that her heart is "too guarded." Every person in the history of this show has used the metaphor of a "guarded heart." This is getting boring. You can't parasail through life with a guarded heart, Sienne.
For dinner, we're off to Hard Rock Cafe. Was Planet Hollywood not available?
After a deep (for Bachelor purposes) conversation, Sienne and Arie come across the truth that "love is hard." And maybe that's why she has a guarded heart and is struggling to let go and let love take the wheel of her love journey. This may have been the 1st stanza from the song the band played after dinner.
Group Date w/Hiking
It seems every season the producers subject the ladies to something gross. Last season, ladies vying for Nick had to shovel cow manure. This year they get to pee in canteens and eat worms. True Love!
Arie pretends to drink his own pee (it's only apple juice) and then dares the ladies to do the same. Jacqueline is going to do it, until Arie stops her. Holy hell, Jacqueline! Kendall, also mentions she would be game to do the same. Ewwwwwwwww! Kendall proceeds to eat worms with Arie and then kiss him, with no tequila involved. This is awful.
At drinks later, we've got our first Cardigan Alert of the night! The more Kendall speaks to Arie about taxidermy and how awesome the date was, the angrier my wife gets. For those keeping score at home, things that piss off my wife the most:
Tom Brady
Kendall and Arie talking about taxidermy
Outdoor temperature not in the 65-75 degree range
58. Child hunger
Back at the lodge, Tia is drunk and Krystal is playing emotional mind games with Arie. Obviously, manipulating Arie is not that hard to do, but Krystal is trying to drive a wedge between him and the others.
After her convo with Arie, Tia and Caroline correctly sleuth out that Krystal is talking bad about them (not snitching, btw, because Arie was present for Caroline and Tia's joke in the hot spring). Tia is able to rebound and get some tongue-time with Arie and ultimately the group date rose.
1v1 Date w/Bekah M
Ok, a 14 year age difference is a big deal. I get that. But so is a 13 year age difference. Maquel is 23, already divorced once, yet we only talk about how young Bekah is. Now, that may have something to do with her easily being able to be an undercover cop in a middle school drug sting, but it's not fair to come down on Bekah for the age gap and not Maquel.
Bekah and Arie go horseback riding. No mucking stables or shoeing a horse, so Bekah gets off pretty easy on this one. Their equine trek takes them to a hot tub. Once inside, Bekah remarks how much chemistry the two of them have. I guess. Sure. But, to be fair, it's impossible to not have chemistry with another person in a hot tub. Throw me in there with anyone, say Tonya Harding for example, and there'd be chemistry all over the place.
NO, I haven't thought about that. Now, Katrina Witt...that's another story.
Ahem. Where was I? Oh yeah, it's time for some dinner at another beautiful Hard Rock Cafe lodge. We've got our 2nd Cardigan Alert of the night! There are some interesting things that did happen during the dinner:
Arie finds out that Bekah is 22. Kinda struggles to wrap his grey-haired head around it.
Bekah says she's casually dated guys in their 30s. WHEN?! In high school? Was it your teacher?
Bekah mentions that she "can see the wheels turning in your head" to Arie. Which is not hard to see at all. Like, it's not like reading Tolstoy. He's pretty easy to digest.
This all leads to Bekah getting a rose and more age gap discussion next week.
Rose Ceremony
It's Krystal vs Everyone Else.
No cocktail reception necessary as Arie is ready to make his decision. Oh the drama!
Krystal's doesn't think that there's enough drama and asks to speak with Arie as he's pensively smelling the first rose before giving it away. Tia may have given herself whiplash as she whipped her head around as soon as Krystal asked to talk with Arie. Some more emotional manipulation later, and they're both back.
Btw, loved the ladies immediately sitting down once Arie and Krystal left. I'm only standing in these heels for Arie, not Krystal's bullshit.
Krystal stays (boo). Caroline leaves (BOOO), as does Brittany who got about 3 seconds of air time total the past two weeks.
Stray Thoughts
The survival guide teaches the girls how to find worms and tell them to pee in a canteen. He then declares them ready to go hiking in the wilderness. Ummmmm....sure.
Not sure I've seen a sole tattoo on the back of the upper arm before. Tia is the best.
Is Maquel gone for good? Like, could you give us a more clear explanation than what we got, Arie?
The wolf howl sound effect for every time Krystal went off alone with Arie was great.
More Krystal: "I come across as flawless." Ugh.
Chelsea's Krystal impression is not good. There might be a montage of the ladies doing her voice at the Women Tell All episode.
"Glam shaming"? C'mon, Mariq! The #metoo movement has no room for such triviality.
See you all next week, for hopefully a more interesting episode. Any thoughts, please respond
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'The Bachelor' finale recap: Pretty sure Nick and Vanessa hate each other and Rachel’s season is already a train wreck
What even HAPPENED last night?!
It’s here. It’s finally here. We made it through an entire season of The Bachelor and have arrived at the finale — a sporting event as important as the Super Bowl, the World Series, the Masters, the U.S. Open, the Kentucky Derby, and the NBA Finals all rolled into one. We are so close (hopefully) to never again having to watch Nick Viall’s “handsome software salesman” face on our TVs every Monday night.
Oh, wait, except that we will see his face. Because this professional Bachelor is going on ABC’s Dancing With The Stars starting next week, since he can no longer be the Bachelor. I mean, he could, but sweet Jesus, it’d be a bad look if he went home without putting a ring on someone’s finger. I’m almost 100 percent sure it’s going to be Vanessa’s. She’s the image rehab he desperately needs: She’s his age, beautiful, and has a Big Heart, as evidenced by her job as a special needs teacher.
ANYWAY, HERE WE GO! BUCKLE UP, BECAUSE THIS SEASON IS ABOUT TO COMMENCE AND WE ARE ABOUT TO FIND OUR WINNER!
We start with Chris “Crest White Strips” Harrison on a live set. He’s having an absolute ball in the spotlight. This dude gets, like, three moments a season to really shine, and the shiniest is the live “After The Final Rose” show that airs post-finale, when he gets to ask the newly betrothed how happy they are to be, well, trothed.
He keeps telling us that “SOMETHING THAT HAS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE IN BACHELOR HISTORY IS GOING TO OCCUR ON THIS STAGE LATER!”
And I’m like, what could it be? Do they interview the winner about her career aspirations? Do we get to have a meaningful conversation about the construct of reality TV and what we, as a society, expect from women and men in terms of modern day relationship?
I’m not holding my breath.
IT’S OFF TO FINLAND AGAIN, HERE WE GO
We’re still in goddamn Finland. Like, I knew we were gonna be, but then we keep going back to this beautiful, arctic wasteland and I’m like “Oh, my God, we’re really still here.”
You know who else is here? Nick’s entire family. They all flew to the Arctic Circle for this, including his little sister Bella. This 11-year-old has been on TV due to this stupid show so often that I am close to calling child services and being like, “Yo, is it healthy for a kid to grow up thinking you find True Love by going on The Bachelor and getting your heart publicly broken?”
Anyway, Raven shows up and they all start drinking, obviously. She already met his family when they went to his hometown of Waukesha, Wis., so she’s like hey guys, good to see you in Finland (which, to be fair, seems a lot like Wisconsin). Nick’s mom Mary takes a huge swig of wine as she gives Raven some side eye.
“It’s been emotional,” Mary says. “The other times were hard on him, we got to witness that. It wasn’t easy.”
This beautiful lady is turning 58. Happy Bday Mom. #family
A post shared by Nick Viall (@nickviall) on Nov 27, 2016 at 3:42pm PST
I’m like — hey, maybe you should’ve told your son not to become a professional Bachelor. Maybe you should’ve staged an intervention. Maybe this is all your fault, Mom.
Nick’s parents say they like Raven, but you can tell that they’re actually like, eh.
There are dead animal skins hanging on the walls and covering all the furniture. ABC clearly rented out some AirBnB in suburban Finland and the producers were like, “just throw some roadkill on it, it’ll fool everyone into thinking we’re way deeper in the woods than we actually are.”
VANESSA MEETS THE FAM AND NO ONE CAN STOP CRYING
Nick’s family won’t shut up about Nick’s track record of failing on this show, and we’re like we get it, he’s fucked this up before.
Vanessa sticks the landing when she meets his family. She hits a home run. She scores a touchdown. She says all the right things and has Nicks’ mom crying within five minutes. Then she talks to his dad, and they both just start weeping.
This is very informative. It turns out that Nick’s incessant crying throughout the whole season is genetic. Over three seasons of this, the Viall family has now shed more tears on TV more than any other family in America, including the Kardashians, who’ve been on the air for approximately 15,000 seasons.
Nick’s dad is like, “Son, I hope this woman doesn’t leave you high and dry” (I’m paraphrasing, here). Basically: His family is terrified that their son is going to get humiliated again. They want him to be happy, yes, but they probably also don’t want to have to go back to Wisconsin and be like, “Yeah, our son is the worst reality TV star in the history of the genre. Does anyone have any software they need him to sell?”
VANESSA’S FINAL DATE
❄️ ❄️ #thebachelorfinale
A post shared by bachelorabc (@bachelorabc) on Mar 13, 2017 at 6:01pm PDT
Wow, I can’t believe we have to watch them hang out with each other again. Can’t we just find out who wins?
Vanessa and Nick go on a horseback riding date and Nick says, “Give it a little squeeze with your thighs, you know how to do that.” Go Nick. Congrats on the sex.
They ride up to this hut and Santa opens the door. Yeah, that Santa. The Santa. Mr. Claus. Apparently he lives there. Here he is, The Bachelor’s Finnish Santa, coming to murder you in your sleep:
Nightmare fuel.
I’m Jewish, so I really want Vanessa to mess with Santa and be like, "Look, I'm Jewish, and — you're not real." But Vanessa isn’t Jewish, so that wouldn’t be kosher. Also, this isn’t the time for jokes, it’s a time to be earnest and in love.
Santa gives Vanessa a present meant to represent fertility, which isn’t presumptuous at all. Then Vanessa and Nick sit by a fire and drink out of quaint wooden mugs. She doesn’t seem super sold on the whole “getting engaged” thing, because she spends the rest of the date berating Nick and telling him she can’t believe he’s still messing around with another woman.
I’m like: I’m sorry, have you seen this show before? Do you really not know how this works?
“When I’ve been with you I’ve only thought of you,” Nick says, in an attempt to reassure her. I start slow clapping. That is an incredible move. To tell someone that you’re sleeping with other people, but that you don’t think about those other people when you’re sleeping with the person you’re talking to?
Genius. Filed away.
RAVEN’S LAST DATE AND OH MY GOD PUPPIES
Nick and Raven go skating, which is a call-back to their first date at the roller rink. The song “Kiss Me” plays over the montage again, which leads me to believe the producers paid out the ass for the rights to it and they really want to make sure they get their money’s worth.
❄️⛸⛸❄️ #thebachelorfinale
A post shared by bachelorabc (@bachelorabc) on Mar 13, 2017 at 6:10pm PDT
The date is good. So good, in fact, that we know Raven is being set up for heartbreak. She keeps talking about how much she loves Nick and how ready she is to get married (you know some producer was like, hey, if you say this, you’ll be doing the opposite of what the other woman did, so — you should say it).
They’re trying to mess with us — Vanessa has cold feet! Look how happy Raven is! But we, my friends, know better. We know that this is a red herring and that Raven will soon be crying in a limo.
We are not even fooled when Nick brings out three of the cutest damn husky puppies I’ve ever seen in my life. I gasp and start Googling places to adopt dogs in New York City.
PUPPIES.@BachelorABC #TheBachelorFinale http://pic.twitter.com/gjUEn1OgWx
— Good Morning America (@GMA) March 14, 2017
These very good dogs are the best moment of the whole season.
MOMENT OF TRUTH
I have to tell you a secret. I’m, like, pretty sure Vanessa wins. I know this because Liz Plank, who’s a part of our Vox Media Bachelor recap show First Impressions, is from Montreal and her hairdresser lives down the street from Vanessa. And Liz told me that her hairdresser told her that Vanessa won.
Even so, I’m nervous.
Neil Lane, the diamond guy, shows up. Nick has hung out with him so many times over the course of this show that he's probably gonna make him a groomsman if he ever actually gets himself to an altar.
Nick is a mess. He says he identifies more with the woman he’s sending home than the one who wins, because he’s always the dude who gets sent home.
“I just know this sucks,” he says.
RAVEN WALKS THE PLANK
The cruelest thing this show does is make the person about to get dumped tell the person who’s about to dump them that she loves him, one last time. Raven says how ready she is to get married, and she brings up her dad again.
Nick is a mess. He’s crying. Raven starts to realize this is not her Fairytale Ending. The moment the final contestant realizes she’s getting booted is like when fans realized the Warriors or the Falcons really were blowing those leads.
She clams up. Raven is the most stoic loser in Bachelor history. She doesn’t really even cry in the limo. But she does say, through elegant tears, “Is it just that no one can feel that way about me?”
ARGGHHH! NOO, RAVEN! IT’S NOT YOU! IT’S THIS STUPID SHOW! You are going to be just fine. In three months you will have half a million Instagram followers and you’ll be able to have multiple orgasms with multiple different guys. This is for the best. By losing, you, my dear, have won.
HAPPILY EVER AFTER
If this doesn’t work out, Nick is saying, it’d be “a waste of tears, a waste of broken hearts.” He could be a country singer if he ever runs out of reality TV show steam.
Vanessa enters the room, and he tells her he fell in love with her at the second rose ceremony.
“Every moment since then, I’ve been falling more and more in love with you,” he says. “Plenty of times I’ve tried to fight it. I don’t want to fight it any more.”
He swept me off my feet...literally! Love, love, love you! @nickviall ❤️
A post shared by VanessaGrimaldi (@vanessagrimaldi30) on Mar 13, 2017 at 8:41pm PDT
I have to tell you guys something. It’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to me. But I’m actually tearing up at the finale of The Bachelor. Vanessa and Nick are both crying, he’s proposing, she’s accepting, and for maybe two nanoseconds this all feels genuine.
Then Nick is like, I got one more question for you: “Will you accept this rose?”
And I immediately snap out of it and return to my natural cynical state. This is cheesy garbage. I give the relationship six months.
AFTER THE FINAL ROSE
We’re back at the live show with Chris “Time to Shine” Harrison, and Nick gets trotted out first. He looks pretty miserable. Then Raven shows up. She’s wearing her best “fuck you” dress — this slinky black silk number — and I’m here for it.
Sorry, wait, one sec, this is completely irrelevant but I just have to show you this picture of Chris Harrison with Santa.
I was trying to think of what major holiday this day reminds me of... but nothing came to mind. #TheBachelor finale is tonight!
A post shared by Chris Harrison (@chrisbharrison) on Mar 13, 2017 at 7:09am PDT
Aren’t you glad you saw that?
Anyway, Raven is very classy and says she does think Nick and Vanessa will get married, though she doesn’t give them a rousing endorsement. Then Chris asks her to go on Bachelor in Paradise this summer, and she accepts, so we have that to look forward to.
VANESSA AND NICK HATE EACH OTHER, I’M PRETTY SURE
Vanessa comes out first, and she spends about 10 minutes telling Chris how hard it’s been to be in a secret relationship and watch Nick make out with other women on TV. They all say this after every season, but Vanessa is really leaning into it. She admits that maybe she should’ve watched the show for a full season before committing to go on it and I’m like “Wait. HOLD THE PHONE, WHAT!? YOU ACTUALLY DIDN’T KNOW HOW THIS WORKS?”
Here is a live look at me watching this right now:
My mind is blown. This explains so much. But also, on an early date, Vanessa told Nick that she watched him on the show for two seasons, which is why she went on to try to date him. So she’s lying somewhere. Either she didn’t watch the show and said she did, or did watch the show and is now saying she didn’t.
But all this pales in comparison to the horrible second hand embarrassment I feel watching Nick and Vanessa try to convince America they love each other.
Chris is like, "Congrats on your engagement!" And they’re essentially like, "Thank you, Chris, we are both completely miserable and realize all of this was a terrible mistake, but we are so locked in now that there’s really nothing we can do about it! Hahahah! Isn’t that just so too bad! Look at us, holding hands! We have our hands on each other’s thighs because we’re just so, so happy! Hahahaha! Oh, my God, please make it all stop.”
One of my roommates comes into the room, looks at the TV, and goes, “This is wack.” Then he leaves.
Vanessa sounds really miserable to be in a relationship with. Everything is about communicating, and speaking her mind. That’s all great, but at a certain point, you want to live rather than talk about living.
Holy shit she said yes!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️. It's been a journey Bachelor National!! @vanessagrimaldi30 I love you!! #thebachelor
A post shared by Nick Viall (@nickviall) on Mar 13, 2017 at 8:07pm PDT
Vanessa and Nick’s celebratory Instagram captions are pretty bland for two people desperately in love. I made merciless fun of Jordan Rodgers after he won last season because he ripped off inspirational posters on Instagram, but at least he leaned into it. Vanessa doesn’t even say “I love you” in her “I won” Instagram. She just wrote “love, love, love you!” Which is what you write when you’re about to break up with someone. The “I” in “I love you” is crucial.
RACHEL’S BACHELORETTE SEASON BEGINS
Rachel shows up. She’s all we have left. If The Apprentice gave us Trump as president, I am hopeful that The Bachelorette might give us Rachel. She's a lawyer and doesn’t appear to be a garbage can of a person the way our current commander-in-chief is. Rachel 2020.
Chris Harrison finally reveals the curveball he’s had up his sleeve this whole time: Rachel’s season is starting right now. He brings out three dudes who will be on her season. She looks pretty shook, but she’s rolling with it. I think it’s mean to spring this on her, but then again, The Bachelor franchise isn’t known for being kind.
The first guy we meet is Demario, who shows up with a ring, which seems like a lot. But he’s handsome and charming.
Then they bring out some white asshole named Blake who goes, “I’m ready to go black, and I’m not going back.”
Oh God, you guys. I’m realizing that the racism — both low-key and probably blatant — on Rachel’s season is going to be out of control. We’ll have all these white dudes with trendy haircuts who think they’re #woke but really aren’t. I’m on my couch with my fleece pulled up over my head and my shoulders up around my ears just thinking about it.
Rachel handles this whole thing with grace. She is too good for us and America doesn’t deserve her. But, boy, am I glad that we get her. I cannot wait to watch her season.
I also have a feeling they pulled this “meet the dudes” gimmick because Nick and Vanessa might break up soon and they wanted to have a fallback news cycle in case the whole thing explodes sooner than they expected.
Anyway. Thanks for coming on this wild ride with me. It’s been a helluva season, Sports Bachelor Nation. Go Pats.
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