the half of it and the beauty of quiet movies and the quietness of falling in love and the deep meaningful quiet connections that can happen between people regardless of gender and sexuality

my beloved mutual <3

hi evren :3 hope your doing great!

You mentioned your 4 (4!!!!) JW oc's, tell me about them?? PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE <3?

WHATS THIS?? A CHANCE TO YAP ABOUT MY BEAUTIFUL OC’S THAT I WOULD LIKE TO CATAPULT????

A.P. (Archer-Paul) Hearst. He’s a divorced father of one (1) very raccoon coded daughter who was definitely not all influenced by a certain British youtuber with the name of Tommy. He’s an armsdealer who regularly works with the Tarasovs in particular and other New York based groups! He’s also….. aroace!! Yep. Made him aroace for fun. I often include symbolism of the ocean and lighthouses for him because it represents the fact he finds solace in quiet places and because he comes from a quite unknown and chaotic background just like the sea!

Eleanor “Ellie” Sallow. I made her with the question in my mind: does the High Table have a Human Resources department? I’m sure they do since they have a lot of employees working for them in an office like structure and I’m pretty sure Human Resources would honestly benefit the High Table even for a criminal organization. Anyways, she’s the HR Director and very British. She comes from central London but she was born in Chester! She just moved to London for business!

Kristina Maria Ampuan. She’s honestly my favorite because I wrote her based on the older women around me. She’s Filipino, specially from Cebu. She can speak four languages really well which is English, Tagalog, Cebuano, and Spanish. She’s the oldest out of my characters with her being placed at 44 years old! She has a troubled backstory but now she’s the manager of the Manila Continental. (Account here -> @the-manila-continental)

Jairo Siday Lacanlale. I based his name off of one of my teachers lmao. Anyways. He’s the youngest on the other hand. Roughly 27 years old and his face claim is Filipino heartthrob Paulo Avelino. Anyways, Jairo is the concierge of the Manila Continental and unlike Kristina, I wrote him off the people my age. He’s very respectful but you know, still the average young Filipino person. Which means he still probably jokes about horrible shit at the wrong time😭

Welp

Yeah I kinda new the case was gonna go that way. Was hoping it wouldn't but couldn't quite convince myself.

Pleasantly surprised Beth didn’t turn on Ellie again and blame her for the case being lost. Was Beth in the lobby when Ellie screamed at Tom after his testimony?

We finally know what happened at Sandbrook. Dang. Tess's "Ill sit in with you" and Alec's immediate "No--I need Miller" <3 FUCK Claire for playing those games during questioning by saying Hardy did shit he didn't do but putting the allegations on record. Big fuck her for that.

Go Paul good for Paul yessss--I was stressed about how far it might go tho and what that would mean for everyone

Ellie being vicious was awesome. is it vicious if it was fully deserved? I think Tom must've gone thru all the grief stages after his testimony and accepted that his dad did it. Was he in the hut during that.. meeting? He must've if he wasn't that conflicted about it (even if he were showing it would not be convenient). Eh he prob has complicated feelings about it. anyway.

YO. Fuck, if Hardy packing his bags and saying goodbye to Miller makes me feel this bereft, I will likely not be okay when the series finishes :|

I wanted them to hug! Yeah the handshake was more them but I WANTED. I could fucking see you feeling the "I'll miss you" you didn't say, Miller. I saw it. These two hoes--I love them

National Dance Radio Airplay

Top 50 for the week ending April 8, 2023

Luv Me A Little---ILLENIUM, Nina Nesbitt -1

I Go Dancing----Frank Walker, Ella Henderson -2

Anyway----CASH CASH w/ Ruth Anne -3

Nothing In Common---Moti With Ralphi -8

I Want You----Icona Pop & Galantis -6

Solitude----Snakechips, BIA, Lucky Daye -4

Can't Tame Her----Zara Larson -14

Vibration----Kaleena Zanders, Shift K3Y -7

Make Me Feel----The Chainsmokers, Cheyenne Giles -5

Where Are You---John Summit, Hayla -11

State Of Mind----Duke & Jones -9

Need Me Right----Anabel Englund -10

Miracle----Calvin Harris, Ellie Goulding---12

No Sleep---Regard, Ella Henderson -22

Antidote----Audien, Codeko f/ JT Roach -13

Rhythm Dust----MK & Dom Dolla -23

Whistle----Jax Jones, Calum Scott -18

Take Me Home----VAVO f/ Clara Mae -15

Clouds----BUNT., X Nate Traveller -21

Lavendar Haze-----Taylor Swift -35

10:35----Tiesto, Tate McRae -19

I'll Be Around-----Elderbrook -20

Too Late For Love----3LAU -16

18 Again----Paul Woofford, Lewis Thompson, MNEK -50

All Nighter----Tiesto -27

Gone (Da da Da)----Imanbek, Jay Sean -17

Oops----Armin Van Helden, Karen Harding -25

Flowers----Mylie Cyrus -41

Hungry Hearts----Steve Aoki, Galantis f/ Hayley Kiyoko -33

Afterparty----Loud Luxury, Hook N Sling -24 >>

Hold Me Closer----Elton John, Britney Spears -42

I'm Good (Blue)----David Guetta, Bebe Rexha -30

Unholy----Sam Smith, Kim Petras -38

Lionheart (Fearless)-----Joel Corry, Tom Grennan -34

Escapism----RAYE f/ 070Shake -53

Words ----Alesso, Zara Larson -40

City Of Love----Surf Mesa, Selah Sol -31

Roll The Dice----Armin Van Buuren f/ Philliip Strand -28 >>

***AM. PM---NOTD f/ Mala Wright -(new entry) -63

Baby Again----Fred Again..., Skrillex, Four Tet -44

***Heart Wants What It Wants-----Bebe Rexha -61 (new entry) -

Bright Lights----Kx5 -49

Lost---RSCL, It's Murph, Twin -37

History----Joel Corry, Becky Hill -47

You Know What I Need---PNAU, Troye Sivan -57

Enchante---Lewis Thompson, Clementine Douglas -55 >>

Evergreen----Gryffin f/ Au/Ra -32 >>

Need Ya----Bonnie & Clyde, FOMO -26 >>

Pieces----Vassy, Bingo Players, Disco Fries -29 >>

*Escape---Kx5 f/Hayla -56 (re-entry)

***new on the chart this week

?* gone

>> not on next weeks chart

"Isn’t that what love is? How much effort you put into loving someone?"

THE HALF OF IT (2020) dir. Alice Wu

Hamish Linklater Characters and Their MBTI Types | Part 02 of 12 | Clark Debussy

Hello beloved HamFam! As I already said in the first post of this series. I saw some of you asking about the MBTI'S (Myers-Briggs Typology) of Hamish characters. So as I was already researching MBTI and Enneagram for other purposes, I ended up researching some of his characters.

Anyway, this is just based on the way I see the psyches of the characters, feel free to disagree and share your thoughts. This is the second in a series of 12 posts. I list the twelve here in case you want to see the others.

Father Paul John Tyler Matthew Kimble (TBA) Porter Collins (TBA) Andrew Keanelly (TBA) John Joseph Jacobs (TBA) Miles (TBA) Ralph Branca (TBA) Jerry Dantana (TBA) Evan Grant (TBA) Noah Bearinger (TBA) Dr. Jim Ellis (TBA)

I'd like to point out that just because characters share a similar MBTI doesn't necessarily mean that both characters act equally. As you've seen already in the first part, since according to my research and interpretation, Clark and JT are both INTJs, and in this post I'll explain what makes the two different.

That said, let's get started!

Clark Debussy | INTJ - 6w5

(gif by my BELOVED @hamishlinklaters)

Why is Clark Debussy an INTJ?

Throughout the 22 episodes where the character appears in Legion, it is shown that, — like JT —, Clark is insightful and intelligent, — no wonder, after all, the man works for Division 3! —, demonstrating that Ni is his dominant function. Ni dominant is a characteristic of Introverted Intuition, or the 'IN' in INTJ.

Dominant Ni's are analytical problem solvers, eager to improve systems and processes with their innovative ideas. They have a talent for seeing possibilities for improvement, whether at work, at home or in themselves.

They understand the fundamental factors that will influence how situations evolve, connecting past, present and future considerations in non-linear ways, as detectives do, for example.

Clark, as shown in S01 E01, was intended — at first — to study David's powers and not kill him. As he puts it: "This might be the most powerful mutant we've ever encountered." This is due to his desire to acquire knowledge and insights about that and other mutants.

As already said, Ni is the function that operates closest to the unconscious mind, and many dom Ni, are often completely unaware of their activities until they learn about it. For example, the fact that Clark agrees to help the Summerland mutants with David's 'special situation' in the S01 finale, even though he doesn't agree with their existence.

This is the basis of Clark's behaviour, no wonder he is also known as "The Interrogator". This is also the main characteristic of an investigator.

Ni dominant is the maximum characteristic of an INxJ.

Those with healthy dominant Ni function are often praised as shrewd and tend to be quite good at interpreting meanings, implications, or theoretical complexities.

Ni dom also defines true knowledge as understanding how meanings, perspectives or points of view can be manipulated, or changed. Since mental constructs are real but arbitrarily defined, therefore, a change in definition can produce a change in perspective.

Like JT, Clark avoids outside influence, disregards advice, and tends to ignore important details that conflict with his perspective (tunnel vision). How does this apply? Well, in Chapter 08, he arrives at Summerland accompanied by an entire tactical battalion, ready to murder all the remain mutants there.

Despite all his introverted behaviour, he also has an auxiliary Te (Extraverted Thinking). This Aux function needs to be used deliberately because we are less used to seeing the world through that perspective, so we need to put some effort into 'turning it on'.

As an INTJ, Clark Debussy has a dominant Ni who wants to understand abstract patterns and implications to accurately predict what will happen, building a very personal sense of vision and purpose. However, he can become very prone to overcomplicate the meaning and misinterpret what is in fact considered 'true' to the point of forming unrealistic ideals about it. A hello to his negative mindset about mutants and their dangers.

"Look at you. All of you. You're Gods, and someday you're gonna wake up and realize you don't need to listen to us anymore."

What mostly differentiates Clark from John Tyler is that JT is an unhealthy Te, unlike Clark, who has his auxiliary Te function, healthy.

Healthy Te should attract Ni's attention to the outside world. Through Te, Ni can make better judgments and expand the sense of self through the analysis of useful and effective principles and standards. By using more objective standards to assess situations, Ni can find better ways to adapt the subjective view to external demands. As already pointed out, this would explain how he rationalized his understanding of mutants and how distorted it was.

When Ni can understand the benefits of using intuition to achieve goals with greater skill, confidence, and efficiency, INTJs will feel less isolated, more connected to the universal truths of the world and those around them.

We see how he does the opposite during his recovery. He isolates himself, staying "numb" throughout the days of his life, as he plots his revenge on David. However, it's obvious how he has a very intimate and loving behaviour towards his son and his husband, Daniel, especially how he protects them, and in some ways this is one of his main motivations for trying to eliminate mutants treat.

Each of the four letters of the INTJ code signifies a key personality trait of this type. INTJs are energized by time alone (Introverted), focus on ideas and concepts rather than facts and details (iNtuitive), make decisions based on logic and reason (Thinking) and prefer to be planned and organized rather than spontaneous and flexible (Judging).

Clark possesses a dominant perceptual function and introverted thinking (Ni), pointing to him being an INxx. His auxiliary function is judgmental with extraverted thinking (Te), which demonstrates that he is also a xxTJ, so I believe that Clark Debussy fits perfectly as an INTJ individual. And a healthy one, unlike John.

But, how about his Enneagram?

We know that Clark is VERY insightful and also VERY loyal, which gives him a strong trait of Enneagram Type 6: The Skeptical Loyalist. But why do I think so?

6s are insightful, loyal, and attentive with a strong conviction that love and protection are gained through vigilance and endurance. Remember when I pointed out his motivation for working in division three and hunting mutants, further up in the post? So it is.

They habitually focus their attention on possible dangers. They are driven by fear of possible danger and what could go wrong. At the end of the first season, Clark is uncomfortable when David continues to tell him that "You don't have to be afraid.", this is because he IS afraid of mutants. His line right after this was mentioned above, he considers them gods, who can decide to exterminate humans, and they won't be able to stop it.

The 6s are firm, loyal and keep things going, even behind the scenes, without needing attention or being in the spotlight. They can be very anxious and fearful. They need a constant flow of information to plan and execute. Hence, his work in Division Three, and also the fact that he has the respect of his superiors. We can see this as they choose to listen to him and Melanie, so they can integrate the mutants into the division, as shown in S02. He is good at what he does.

The 6s has strong analytical powers. Attention shifts to questioning and examining the opposite position. Doubt and a suspicion of obvious clarity. They overestimate the power of authority. Invest in those who project an image of authority with far more power than they actually possess. They attempt superhero status as compensation for internal anxiety. They have to prove themselves and others. Seeking self-mastery.

All of these personality traits stand out when we look at the character's job, posture, and character.

Sixes are dedicated and responsible individuals who want to belong in a social group and find their fit in the world. They appear in two different ways. They can be Phobic or Counter-Phobic. It's how they deal with their nervous energy and how it presents itself to the outside world.

According to his personality, Clark is definitely a Phobic Type 6. Why? Well, let me explain.

Phobic Sixes deliberately shy away from the source(s) of fear and tend to fly under the radar. They are open and expressive about their vulnerabilities and weaknesses so others can understand their situation and train of thought. This is your main defense mechanism to avoid being manipulated.

This fits this character perfectly as it demonstrates these traits on two specific occasions.

1) In S01, when he finds himself cornered, and almost completely uncomfortable being alone among the source of some of his greatest fears - mutants. Even more uncomfortable when he finds himself forced to expose his thoughts to David, — his source of fear —, without being able to control what he sees or doesn't see. And yet, he confesses why he's so afraid of mutants, even before David tries to read his mind, in a way to keep his control.

and

2) In S02, when he confronts David after he disappeared for a year, being certain that the mutant was hiding something from them — oh, he was right about that, by the way. And even when he is subtly threatened by David, who says he can read his thoughts, he no longer holds back and still provokes him. "I know you're lying, but I can't prove why. What are you hiding?"

Obviously, there are other moments when these personality traits stand out, but these two are the most notable for me.

When healthy, Sixes are thoughtful and generous teammates who move colleagues and friends in a positive direction. They are valued employees and hard workers who take pride in serving an organization and will make every effort to hone their skills. In times of stress, they know how to subtly handle and diffuse the nerves. They develop secure attachment styles and trust others easily. Through their patience and courage, Sixes can learn to accept their independence and express themselves freely in the world. At best, they are able to put their worries aside and focus on matters that can change in the present moment.

Even though he is a Type 6 Enneagram, Clark shares similarities with Type 5: The Investigator.

6w5 types are Sixes that share characteristics with Type Fives. 6w5s are generally more independent and introverted than other Sixes. They are less likely to rely on and trust others, and prefer to keep to themselves. 6w5s are practical, helpful, and organized. While still fiercely independent.

In Conclusion:

Observing at his facets demonstrated throughout the series and comparing them to the characteristics of each MBTI and Enneagram. I come to the conclusion that this character is pretty much the opposite of John Tyler, and I mean that almost literally. While JT is a troubled INTJ with an unhealthy, counter-phobic 5w6, Clark Debussy is a prime INTJ Ni (Dom) with a healthy Te (Aux), and have traits of a healthy phobic 6w5 type.

Back to Halifax fam! Part three of four. Here comes the angst and a little bit of smut. Enjoy! Rated M (language and sex)

Home Is Not A Place - Part 3: The Mistake

“Caroline…“ Gillian whimpered, her voice far more shaky than Caroline would have expected.

“Yes?“ Caroline hummed against the soft skin at the base of her neck, delighting in the breathless moans and gasps her kisses drew out of her.

“Don’t stop…“ Gillian practically begged, as she arched her body against her.

“How could I…can’t keep my hands off you,“ Caroline growled, tracing lines down her body, to the waistband of her pants.

Gillian bucked her hips to meet her.

Caroline awoke with a start, disoriented, sweaty and frustratingly aroused. As her room slowly came into focus, she realised she had been dreaming. The body pressed to her belonged to her dog Ruth and she rolled away from her.

“For fuck’s sake, Caroline, get your shit together,“ she groaned to herself as she rubbed her face and threw her covers off. She was feeling far too hot, despite the bitter cold outside that the poorly glassed windows barely kept at bay.

Bloody Gillian Greenwood. Caroline stared up at the ceiling, trying to banish the image of Gillian from her mind. Gillian, stripped to her underwear, panting, holding her close… Caroline rubbed her face more firmly, just short of slapping herself. It wasn’t really Gillian’s fault, was it, that she was lying here thinking of her. The sheep farmer was completely oblivious to it, or so Caroline hoped. Gillian would hardly have got soaked in the rain on purpose, just to have an excuse to strip in the lounge, could she? That would imply that she knew of Caroline’s attraction for her. That was highly unlikely, as Caroline had always been careful not to let on too much. It would also imply that she wanted to encourage her for reasons of her own; and there could be no plausible explanation for that.

No, Caroline would have to accept that this was a very one-sided attraction and she would simply have to wait for it to pass.

And yet… Gillian had admitted to having been with a woman before. Why would she do that if not to drop a hint? Caroline implored herself to stop thinking about it. She couldn’t risk how well things were going, it would be ruinous and downright stupid.

No, Caroline would wait for this crush to pass and that was that. But how was she to do that with Gillian right there? Her witty snark, her heart-warming smile, and her great arse? Through no fault of her own, Caroline’s mind conjured up the image of Gillian bending over to rummage through the pile of washing… Caroline pressed her thighs together, her body tense with arousal from the dream she had just woken from.

Was it disrespectful of her to think about Gillian like this? It was becoming clear that she couldn’t stop her thoughts going there. Perhaps, playing it out in her mind would help her get over it, she mused. It would never happen anyway so what was the harm in it? Caroline’s mind was screaming with ludicrous justifications as to why it wasn’t bad to imagine shagging her step sister. The most convincing argument was - of course - that this was the privacy of her own mind. Gillian would never know, and Caroline knew she wouldn’t be able to go to sleep any time soon unless she did something about the state she was in.

Fuck it, she decided, and pushed her hand between her legs. She groaned, frustrated with herself over how wet she was. There was nothing for it, she pushed away her self-consciousness and instead imagined what the sheep farmer could be doing with that talkative mouth of hers. Perhaps she’d be quite eager to please her. She remembered the way she had looked at her during their “thank you“ dinner the other night, reminiscent of a puppy dog looking for praise… A nice way of saying “thank you“ would be on her knees between Caroline’s legs… Caroline bit back a moan as she imagined Gillian’s nails digging into her thighs.

Or maybe, given how headstrong Gillian was, she wouldn’t be submissive at all. Maybe she could have fucked Caroline on that very kitchen table, or the kitchen side, or the sofa, or the bloody wall, any wall, pushing her up against it and Caroline would only be wearing a skirt and…

“Fuck…Gillian…“ Caroline gasped as her fingers did the work she so badly wanted Gillian to do. She wished she could find out what it would be like, really like, to be with Gillian. It was a privilege far too many men had had for Caroline’s taste and she couldn’t believe the injustice of it. She knew she was worth a thousand Robbies, Pauls or Johns. She would not treat her the way they had, she would look after her, care for her, love her…

“You’ve got issues, Caroline, honestly…“ Caroline breathed into the darkness and wiped the sweat off her face.

——

“There you are.“

Gillian looked around when she heard Caroline’s voice. Her face brightened immediately.

“Storm’s cleared,“ she smiled and waved for Caroline to come and sit with her. She was perching on the wall outside the house, looking out onto the fields beyond. The sun was just coming up, it would be a clear day, apart from the fog that was coming up from the damp ground after yesterday’s storm. It was Sunday morning and everywhere around them was quiet still.

“I’m never gonna get used to this view,“ Caroline commented as she came to sit next to Gillian. She hugged her warm mug and pulled her coat tighter around her. It was very chilly, but Gillian didn’t seem to notice. She was drinking her own tea and smiled, looking out into the valley herself.

“Be a shame if you did,“ she chuckled into her drink.

“Is it bad that I’m dreading everyone coming home this afternoon?“ Caroline asked, after a moment of comfortable silence.

“Nah… I’ve been enjoying the peace and quiet too,“ Gillian admitted with a smirk. “Let’s enjoy it while it lasts…“

“We’ll have weekends like this more frequently once Ellie and Raff move out properly…“ Caroline mused and she wasn’t sure how she felt about that. She wanted to spend as much time alone with Gillian as she possibly could, but she was worried it would only make ignoring her feelings harder. Particularly when Gillian looked as peaceful and content as she did right now.

“Hm,“ Gillian hummed thoughtfully and Caroline frowned.

“What?“

“I just… I was just thinking, after all this… shit. Eddie and John. My numerous misadventures, Robbie! God, Robbie… and you losing Kate, that… after all this, we do deserve something nice, don’t we,“ Gillian didn’t look at her at first, she looked out into the valley, a soft smile playing on her lips that the morning sun lit beautifully.

“If there is any justice in the universe…“ Caroline mumbled, struck by how beautiful she looked in that moment. So utterly at peace and it defied her understanding that she played a part in that.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been as settled and… happy… as this…“ Gillian confessed and looked at Caroline with a smile that made the headteacher’s heart nearly jump out of her chest.

“Me neither…“ Caroline admitted and it was true. Not even when she had been happy with John or in the short but lovely time she had had with Kate, had she felt so complete and content. It was that realisation that made her throw caution to the wind. Surely, Gillian wouldn’t be saying these things if there was no deeper meaning behind it all. Maybe she had been dropping hints on purpose all along… Caroline stopped thinking, she just leaned forward and kissed her.

For one beautiful moment, Caroline’s world shrunk to the feeling of Gillian’s soft lips against hers. It felt liberating and right and even better than she had imagined. At least until Gillian pushed her away.

“Caz! What are you…“ The sheep farmer exclaimed, eyes wide with shock. It was like a sobering slap in the face, only, a slap would have probably hurt less.

“I uh- I’m, oh my God, I’m so sorry, Gillian, I just… I got caught up in the moment and…“ Caroline stammered, disoriented, she struggled to grasp what was going on and she cursed herself for her lack of restraint. She had spent all of last night telling herself how she would never ever act on these feelings and here she was, ruining everything! She stared at Gillian who was at a loss for words herself, she had blushed deeply, tensed up, and wild panic was painted all over her face.

“I uh- I’m gonna just… sorry.“ She jumped off the wall and fled, rushing off to God knows where, around the corner of the barn. It took Caroline a good minute until she recovered from her shock and when she did, her emotions broke out of her. She chucked her mug across the yard and broke it on the barn door. That bloody barn. She imagined Eddie watching, laughing at her.

“Fuck,“ she groaned and buried her face in her hands. She took a deep breath. “Well done Caroline, really fucking well done, you just had to go and ruin everything, didn’t you…“ She looked out into her valley, her vision blurring with tears. She was not prepared to give up this new found happiness. She would have to find a way of making things right with Gillian. How could she have made such a crude lapse in judgement? Slowly, she slid down the wall and started gathering the broken china of the mug.

——

“You alright mum?“ Raff asked, eyeing his mother across the dinner table. The rest of the family had returned in the afternoon as predicted. First Raff and Ellie with the kids, then Greg had brought round Flora. Now, the kids had gone to bed and the grown-ups were having their tea and discussing how the house hunting was going. At least that’s what Raff and Ellie were trying to do but neither Gillian nor Caroline seemed to really be listening.

“Hm? What?“ Gillian looked up from her plate, confused.

“You’re uncharacteristically quiet,“ Raff observed, exchanging a glance with his wife,who gave him a shrug.

“Maybe I was just thinking how I’m missing the f-bloody peace and quiet from before you all piled back in 'ere,“ Gillian snarked, far harsher than she probably meant to. Fortunately, they were all used to Gillian’s moods by now so Raff just turned to Caroline:

“Caroline, what’s wrong with me mum?“ He asked, as if she wasn’t even there, in response to which Gillian just chucked her cutlery onto her plate like a stroppy teenager.

“What’s wrong with her? Nothing’s wrong with her. Maybe she’d be better if you weren’t pestering her,“ Caroline’s response was snarky as well, she wanted to be left alone to her own thoughts, as she presumed Gillian did. They hadn’t spoken for most of the day and sitting next to each other at dinner now was harder than she would have imagined.

“Not you too,“ Raff groaned.

“You had a fight or summat?“ Ellie asked, looking between the two women.

“What would we possibly fight about?“ Caroline shot back, twirling her pasta around her fork.

“Would you like a list?" Ellie chuckled and Caroline shot her a look that would have shut up anyone.

“Everything’s perfectly fine, eat your tea,“ the headteacher instructed and Raff was quick to appease:

“It’s lovely, this, Caroline.“

“Thanks love.“ She managed a thin smile as they all returned their attention to their plates.

“I’m not feeling too good, I’m gonna get an early night,“ Gillian announced and got to her feet abruptly. “Can you check in on sheep later, Raff?“

“Sure.“ He nodded quickly and the sheep farmer practically fled the table. There was a moment of tense silence with only Gillian’s footsteps, rushing up the stairs to her bedroom.

“You not gonna go after her?“ Ellie asked once they heard a door slam upstairs.

“Why would I?“ Caroline asked, bewildered at the very suggestion.

“If something’s happened, you’re better off clearing it up sooner rather than later,“ Raff agreed with his wife.

“She doesn’t want me talking to her,“ Caroline huffed, moving her pasta around the plate that she - despite going through some pain to make it - didn’t fancy at all.

“So something did happen!“ Raff exclaimed as if her statement was proof to that effect. “What’s she done? Did one of sheep get into the house again?“

“Nothing happened!“ Caroline shook her head. She wanted to laugh at how he naturally presumed it had been Gillian that was at fault. Nothing could be further from the truth but she couldn’t tell them what had happened. It would only make things worse. The best course of action would be to ignore it had ever happened. “Just give her some space,“ she advised, which was exactly what she planned on doing herself. With any luck, things wouldn’t be as tense tomorrow and they could forget about the whole thing.

——

Caroline was engrossed in a book when Gillian reappeared. Raff and Ellie were watching telly, while Caroline had retreated to the other sofa. For a moment, Gillian lingered at the top of the stairs, probably wondering if she dared be among them again, but as it turned out she had no intention of that anyway. She crossed the living room without a word and headed for the front door.

“Thought she said she were getting an early night…“ Ellie commented when the front door slammed shut.

“Caroline…“ Raff looked over to the headteacher. “If you won’t tell us what happened, can you at least…“ His voice was almost pleading and Caroline couldn’t refuse, not when she knew this was her fault. Perhaps talking it through would help…

“Alright…“ She closed her book, threw the blanket aside and got to her feet.

Caroline wrapped herself up warm and stepped out of the farm house. The night was clear as the day had been and yet, she couldn’t see Gillian anywhere, she seemed to have made good use of her head start. She pulled her coat tighter around herself and made her way down the path. The Landrover was still there so she couldn’t have gone far.

That’s when she heard her, her muffled voice and she spotted the flickering light of a torch in the barn. Reluctantly, self-consciously, Caroline stepped closer.

“I bet you’re fucking loving this, aren’t you.“ It was definitely Gillian’s voice, louder and more pronounced now and Caroline stopped by the door of the barn. It wasn’t entirely shut but it wasn’t open and inviting either. “I could be so happy if it wasn’t for everything you’ve done to me.“ Gillian’s voice was distraught, worked up and angry. Caroline knew who she was talking to. Part of Gillian still believed that Eddie was still, somehow, present in that barn where he had died. And it seemed like she was shouting at him now. “I could be whole and together and worth a bloody damn. You satisfied?“ She was yelling from inside and Caroline couldn’t bring herself to walk in. She didn’t want to intrude, it wouldn’t be fair. She really ought to head back inside, allow Gillian this moment of privacy to work through her feelings. “Even after all this time, I still can’t f-bloody get anything right!“ Her words didn’t quite make sense to Caroline, but she got the gist. “I deserve to be happy, I do! Even after what I did, I deserve to move on. You put me through hell and I came out the other side and I deserve something good to happen and I thought it had and now it’s all fucked up again!“ Caroline’s heart sank when Gillian’s voice broke with sobs. “So congrats, you’ve fucking done it again.“

Caroline didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t go in, it was too much, too personal. She felt guilty for even listening in, but the sound of Gillian crying broke her heart. She realised she had messed up big. Gillian had been happy and she had forced her out of her comfort zone to where she didn’t want to go. Of course she would blame Eddie for it, like she did with most things in her life when they went wrong. Like she had blamed the accidents that had happened to Robbie on him too… Caroline knew it was her fault this time though, Eddie was well and truly gone. The only hold he had in this world was the one he still had on Gillian and Caroline cursed him for it. She wished she could just be free of him. She wanted nothing more than for Gillian to be happy, she knew she had to find a way to make things right with her. Ignoring each other as they had done for the most part of the day, just wasn’t an option. She wanted to be content and happy like they had been the past month, she had to find a way of restoring that balance and reassure Gillian she had no expectations of her. She stepped away from the barn, heading back to the house, but it was too late.

“What’re you doing out 'ere?“ Gillian exclaimed and Caroline looked around.

“Just uh… Raff asked me to come look after you…“ she answered slowly, shifting uncomfortably. She should have left sooner.

“Raff can fuck off,“ Gillian huffed, locking the barn door behind her.

“He’s concerned about you, I am too…“ Caroline said slowly as she realised they were heading into a stand off. Gillian kept her distance, crossing her arms as well and staring her down with an uneasy air about her.

“Were you listening?“ Gillian’s voice swung between accusatory, distressed and insecure.

“No, I��“ Caroline broke off because the lie would be so incredibly hard to maintain. How was she supposed to pretend she didn’t know how distressed she was?

“Cause it’s none of your f-flipping business,“ Gillian snapped in an angry outburst that made Caroline flinch and feel all the more guilty.

“I know that…“ she said softly. “I just… are you okay?“ The bright moonlight illuminated the sheep farmer’s face just enough to reveal her damp cheeks and puffy eyes. Gillian must have noticed her staring because the response was quick and harsh:

“Do I fucking look okay to you?“

“No, that’s why…“ Caroline winced, struggling for the right thing to say. It was a minefield, one that she had set up for herself. No matter which way she turned, compassion, remorse, admitting to listening, pretending she didn’t know why she was upset, apologising for a mistake or admitting to the depth of her emotions and motivations… with Gillian every course of action could blow up in her face and make things even worse than they already were.

“Leave me alone, Caroline.“ Gillian seemed to think it best not to give her an opportunity at all. She strutted past her, back towards the farm house.

“Gillian…“ Caroline couldn’t let her go, she had to try something, anything, so she reached out, grabbed her arm to hold her back. Gillian’s reaction was more violent than she could have anticipated.

“Get your hands off me!“ The sheep farmer yelled and ripped her arm away, cradling it against her like she had been burnt, she stared at Caroline with a turmoil of emotions in her expressive eyes. Caroline’s heart sank, she crossed her arms again.

“I’m not gonna do anything, I got the message loud and clear…“ Caroline mumbled, self-consciously.

“Yeah, well- You better not,“ Gillian’s sharp reply drove the matter home and Caroline didn’t look up, not until the sheep farmer had disappeared inside the farm house.

The headteacher turned away and looked out into the valley. She felt numb.

‘I told them that statistically one person in every four was homosexual’ he remembers ‘Johns eyes widened at that’

- Royston Ellis (from Phillip Normans, John Lennon: The Life)

Aight ladies, lets get theorising

Im guessing Johns eyes widened either because a) he thought he’d been sussed out or b) he realised someone in the group was probably gay - and maybe JUST maybe this someone might be Paul

(Or c) maybe he though Ellis was coming on to him??? Probably not, but I thought id just throw it in there anyways)

If anyone else has a theory, feel free to share it <3

Whiskey and Hidden Feelings - Joel Miller x Reader (Part 2)

Summary: Whiskey and hidden feelings don’t mix well. Joel was about to learn that the hard way.

Warnings: Spoilers from tlou2, mentions of sex.

Tag List: @peakymarvels @miss-goldenweek @samdrakeftw @fangirl-inthe-us @apocalypsekid @imahardcase

A/N: I’ve decided to make this a series, i’m not sure how long it’s going to go on but it’s going to be at least 3 chapters! I will write some smut in this series but i need a reason for y’all to come back right 🤔 I hope you enjoyed! I will be including more of Y/N’s backstory in chapter 3 and there will be more conflict and shit to come! See you soon!

Masterlist!

You had taken Joel up on that drink, and multiple after that. Ellie would sit at the bar and watch your little ‘dates’ as she liked to call them and would insit you tell her everything after them. She stopped walking you home when Joel started doing so. Dina told her to stop cockblocking you so she did. Dina is..is a special one. One drink led to another and you two were always leaving the bar pretty drunk but you didn’t mind, it was just the way you two worked. 

Joel would meet you outside work and walk you home, after all it wasn’t like he had anything else to do. If you were in the normal world, he would be the type of guy to meet you after work for coffee and a cake. He was fucking perfect.

The best part was Ellie. She enjoyed your company anyway but with you being with Joel, she had more of an excuse to hang out with you. She spent most her nights sleeping over at your house and basically lived with you. But she would always complain when you and Joel were all lovey dovey. But what hurt Ellie the most was that you and Joel weren’t being exclusive. You would sleep with Steve most nights, mainly for some comfort during the nights and because Joel, even when you invited him inside, would leave with a kiss. You thought he just didn’t want to have sex, but Ellie knew it was because he didn’t want to scare you off. Every time Steve would show up at your house, she would tell him to fuck off and leave you alone but nothing ever worked, and you were still sleeping with the man. Nothing ever worked.

—————

You crossed your legs and sat on your bed and ran your fingers along your arms. You touched the rough skin around the litter of scars from years on the run. You leaned over and grabbed your water, taking a sip before watching Ellie walk up the stairs. “Hola Señorita!” You smiled and grabbed the hot drink from her. “Can i see your tattoo again?” She crossed her legs and joined you on the bed. “Why? Needing inspiration?” You joked. She nodded and you looked at her seriously. “Hey not until you are eighteen. I don’t need Joel turning around and blaming me for your tattoo ‘inspiration’.” You laughed and moved your arm, allowing the girl to see it. It was a flower and a bird crossed together. She loved it. “What does it stand for? Like why did you get it?” She asked, moving back to get comfortable. “It was my dad’s favourite bird and flower. He was a gardener before this shit.” You explained.

“How old are you?” Ellie mumbled and looked down at the floor. “Well that’s rude. You shouldn’t ask a woman her age, Els.” You giggled before sipping on your drink. “I’m twenty seven.” You raised your eyebrows at the girl. Ellie snorted on the drink and laughed loudly. “My birthday is in October. I turned seven just before all this shit happened. I'm not looking forward to thirty. God I'll be so olddd.” You groaned and dramatically leaned backwards, putting your arms on your stomach. “Thirty isn’t old. Try being Joel. He’s like seventy!” Ellie laughed and laid down next to you, resting her cup on her stomach. “He’s not that old.” You poked her side and looked up at the ceiling. 

“You’re only saying that because you fancy him.” Ellie turned to face you with a shit eating smile on her face. “I fancy his cute butt.” You laughed and looked at the girl. Her face turned from a smile to a grossed out expression as she realised you were serious about it. “You two are so fucking gross.” She turned onto her stomach and grabbed her notebook from her backpack. The girl scribbled in her book and looked at you before sketching you surrounded by flowers. The same flowers as your tattoo.

The room fell silent and the soft sound of the wind outside hit the small house. The whistling of the wind was a sound that often helped you sleep on restless nights. You looked around at the empty walls of your house. You had nothing to decorate with so why bother? Anyway, who knows you might need to pack up and leave suddenly. At least that's what you have been telling yourself for the past eleven years. You wanted to feel secure and you finally felt safe at Jackson. Well as safe as you can feel. The safest you‘ve felt since your dad died.

“Are your parents still alive?” Ellie asked after a minute of silence. You sighed loudly and looked at Ellie. “No my dad died a few years ago and I never knew my mother.” You moved positions and sat up again, stretching your legs out. “How? Didn’t your dad tell you about her?” You shook your head and reached underneath your bed, finding your box of things. You grabbed the box and put it on your lap before rummaging through, looking for the photo album. “Ah ha!” You shouted when you found it. “This...” You opened the book on a picture of you and a middle aged man. “Is my dad. My rock.” You showed Ellie. The girl took the photo album into her hands and tilted her head, looking intently at the photo. “My mom was an egg donor. I never met her. I was made in a test-tube and put into my surrogate, my dad’s best friend, Susan.” Ellie looked at you with utter confusion, like everything you were saying was from some alternate reality. 

“My dad was gay. He liked men and because men can’t have babies alone, he and his partner at the time decided to get a surrogate to be able to have me. It was expensive as hell but my dad he..all he wanted was a child of his own. Thats why I look so much like him, because he is my biological dad. My mom is just a number on a board, I’ve never met her and couldn’t care to. After all, Susan carried me for nine months, not her.” She turned the page and saw a picture of your dad with a heavily pregnant lady. “Susan?” She asked you. You nodded before turning the page, showing her a photo of your dad holding you when you were newborn. “My dad named me after his favourite member of the band at the gay club he used to visit. My dad used to live the life.”

“On Outbreak Day, I was at the beach with my dad and one of his partners. As the Runners crowded the beach, I watched Paul get his throat ripped out. My dad rushed us out of there and back to his car as fast as possible. I was seven at the time.” You played with the skin around your nail. “But you’ve probably seen worst things, right Els?” You asked rhetorically and put your hand on her shoulder with a caring smile. “Anyway! Back to the happy memories.” You smiled and turned the page. 

—————

The warm lights of the bar hit your face as you opened the heavy door. You looked around and saw the usual patrons of the bar as well as people preparing for the night. You wandered over to the bar and decided to actually look at the photos on the wall. You were on about three of them. One of them was a photograph of you and Ellie months ago when you had a girls night. Another was of you, Steve, Dalia and Roger, all dancing during the ‘adults only’ event. That’s was when you and Steve were going steady. And by going steady you meant sleeping together every night to make someone else jealous. For you it was Joel, for him it was Kira. The last photo was of you, Maria, Tommy and Joel. You smiled and watched as Frank turned on the bar lights, beginning his long night. “Hey Frank.” You smiled.

You pulled down the skirt on your dress as you sat down on a bar stool, running a hand through your hair and fixing your jacket on your shoulders. You hummed and looked at the clock behind the bar and saw the time. He was late. You ordered your usual whiskey and sat waiting for Joel. You watched as all the couples came into the bar. It was very typical for a Friday night. All the couples who had kids would come in on a Friday because some people volunteered for a kids club and would look after the kids all night to allow the parents some peace. The older kids would just stay home and sneak out, including Ellie.

You saw Tommy and Maria walk past with a smile on their face as they said hello to the patrons of the bar. Tommy put a hand on your shoulder as he walked past, giving you some comfort. You looked at the door and watched as Joel walked in, greeted by Tommy who gave him a pat on the shoulder before the older man looked around for you. Once he spotted you, he walked up behind you and put his hands on your shoulders, placing a quick kiss on cheek. “Sorry i’m late. Ellie needed something.” 

“I though Joel Miller was never late?” You laughed and turned to face him, putting your hands on his chest. He was breathing hard. He must have ran here. He took your drink from behind you and drank it in one gulp, looking down at you innocently. “I’ll get you another.” Joel took your hands in his and stood you up, looking at you outfit. “Woah.” He smiled and you blushed, pushing him away gently before kissing his neck. “Let’s find a booth.” You told him before walking away, leaving him behind watching you.

After many more whiskeys and vodkas, you and Joel were getting more handsy and more tipsey. You were basically sat on his lap at this point, playing with his hair on the nape of his neck and leaning into his shoulders, getting as close as you could. You wanted him to make the first move. To kiss you first. Tell him he liked you first. But Joel is as stubborn as a mule so he would never admit anything first, or take initiative. So when a romantic song game on, you grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him up and to the floor. “Don’t go shy on me now Miller.” You mumbled and looked around, seeing how everyone was staring at him. After all, nobody had ever seen him on the floor before.

“You don't have to go now honey. Call and tell 'em you won't be in today. Baby there ain't nothin' at the office. So important it can't wait.”

You moved forward against Joel, wrapping your hands around his neck. The music slowed down as all the couples made their way to the floor. “Y’know you are reaaaal pretty up close.” You mumbled into Joel’s ear as he put his arms around your waist. “Y’know you are drunk?” He smirked at you as you swayed to the music. “You are a good detective, Texas.” You mumbled. Joel looked at you with wide eyes. “You good?” You asked, leaning your head against his chest. “Sorry. Someone i used to know called me that.” You took a deep breath. “Tess. Tommy told me about her.”

“I'm thankful for the weekend. But two days in heaven just ain't gonna do. This is gonna take forever darlin'. Girl I just got started lovin' you.”

Joel nodded and held your hands close to his chest, rocking you two back and forth. “You are a good dancer, Joel. Why did you hold that back from me for months?” You smiled and closed your eyes, enjoying the quietness of the situation, although it’s pretty loud in the bar tonight. Joel looked down at you and smiled, pressing his warm cheek against your forehead.

“What's the point in fightin' what we're feelin'. We both know we'll never win. Ain't this what we're missin'. Let's just stop all this resistin' and give in.”

You pulled away and put your hand back around his neck, playing with the long pieces of hair. You adored his hair. “Hey cowboy..” You mumbled as your eyes adjusted to the warm light. “Hey.” You looked around to see all the other couples sharing a kiss. “You wanna..put those lips somewhere? Or are you just going to continue talking trash?” You pressed one of your finger to his lips. Joel clicked his tongue and looked into your eyes. “Depends. You gonna stop sleeping with Steve?” You frowned and looked at him. “Depends. You going to give me a reason to stop?”

“Let me wrap my arms around you. You know you don't want to leave this room. Come back and let me hold you darlin'. Girl I just got started lovin' you.”

Joel leaned forward and pressed his warm lips to yours. It wasn’t your first kiss with the man and you prayed it wouldn’t be your last. He was soft and gentle when he needed to be and rough and dominant when he needed. You pulled away once, but you immediately went back for more and the again. You tried to make sure you weren’t making out too much in the middle of the bar but with Joel, control wasn’t a thing. You smiled against his lips when his prickly beard tickled your face and neck as he kissed you gently. Then you said the one thing he had been waiting for since the day he laid eyes on you.

“Take. Me. Home.”

You breathed heavily when he pulled away. Joel didn’t need to be told twice. The two of you stumbled away from the floor and grabbed your coats before sneaking out the back door like a couple of teenagers. The walk back to your house was a short one, and one which you two walked many times. But this time, it was a walk back with a purpose. You stumbled to open the door as Joel pressed small and needy kisses to your exposed neck. You were giggling and smiling as you finally opened the door and rushed upstairs. Joel laid you down on the bed and showered you with kisses, running his hands up your thigh and into your dress.

“Slow down Cowboy, we got all night.” You moaned and kissed him deeply.

—————

The sun shone down on the small lake. You hopped off your horse and grabbed her reins before walking up to Ellie. “So you can swim now right?” You asked, putting your bag down next to your horse, Reign. You watched as Ellie took her shoes and jumper off and nodded. “Yeah! Me and Joel have been practising more. But I'm glad you are going to help me!” Ellie smiled as she jumped into the lake. “HOLY FUCK IT’S FREEZING!” She yelled as she popped out of the water, making you laugh loudly. You quickly changed out of your top into your vest before jumping into the water after her. You popped out of the water and brushed your hair out of your face. “Ellie! It’s so fucking cold!” You yelled and grabbed her shoulders. You kicked your feet around underneath the water, trying to warm up and stay afloat. 

“Ok! Ok!” You took a deep breath. “Let’s work on diving and keeping those peepers open!” You smiled and dove underneath the water, grabbing Ellie’s feet. The girl laughed and held her breath as she went underneath and stood next to you.  

“Ellie? Y/N?” Joel yelled as he walked around the corner, seeing the two horses tied up nearby. “Joel! We are in here!” Ellie yelled out and splashed in the water, ensuring Joel knows where they are. He turned the corner and saw the two girls in the lake, with soaking wet hair. “What are you two doin’?” He asked.

“Swimming!” Ellie laughed loudly and swam to the edge of the lake where you were sat, your legs dangling in the cool water. You were drying off for the ride back but ensuring you kept an eye on the girl. After all, you were the adult in this situation. Joel walked up behind you and kneeled down, pressing a gentle kiss to the side of your neck. Ellie groaned and covered her eyes. “Gross.” She swam in a circle. “Hi.” He smiled and put his hands on your shoulders. Before you could say anything, Joel had pushed you into the water. You popped up and looked at him. “Hey Asshole!” You swore and flipped him the bird. “I’m sorry. I had to.” You shook your head and grabbed Ellie’s hands, swimming around with her.

“Joel! Get in. The water isn’t freezing at all.” Ellie laughed before splashing near the man. “No way kiddo. I’ll put my feet in but that’s it. We can have a lesson next week.” Joel stuck to his promise and took off his shoes and socks, rolling up his jeans before he sat down, putting his feet in the water. You watched as he splashed Ellie from the sidelines, like a dad watching his kid play football. A smile spread on your lips as you swam over to him, sliding between his legs and putting his hands around your back. You pulled him down into a kiss and with one big pull, Joel was in the water with you. He popped up to the surface and stared at you. “Oh yeah you are so dead!” He yelled, swimming after you and Ellie, involving her in the conflict.

“I WASN’T EVEN INVOLVED!” Ellie screamed as Joel caught up to her, splashing her and tickling her sides. You stood behind Ellie and watched as the two came up with a plan. “Get her!” Ellie shouted as they came running, well swimming, towards you, splashing you and soaking your top half. “St-Stop!” You laughed, putting your arms around Joel’s neck, holding onto him for safety. “He’s the one you need to be saved from!” Ellie laughed and splashed you both, laying on her back.

“Hi.” He looked at the side of your face. “Hi.” You turned to face him and looked into his eyes. “I’m still going to kill you.” Joel threatened. “Yeah yeah. Who else would be your drinking buddy?” You smiled, hugging him tightly.

UK Episode Five

UK Hun?

I know I haven't at all talked about Drag Race UK this season, but I have ~opinions~ and my flatmate is getting bored of me so here we are.

First episode back after lockdown! I feel so bad for these queens, started filming, get sent home for seven months, have no idea if/when they're going to start filming again, lose income for 7 months, it must have been so awful. But I'm glad they're all back! Except poor Veronica who got covid - I hope they do a Eureka and invite her back for season 3, I feel like she had so much more to show!

Of course they brought someone back to replace her, typical drag race gag, but nice that someone else got another chance! Having said that, it should have been Astina. She didn't deserve to go home in the first place, imo. I do think it was kind of harsh to throw that at everyone first thing though! Like the eliminated three didn't get to do anything to even fight for it, and for all the remaining queens, like its been seven months! Who remembers things that long?? Not me, that's for damn sure. I think that was kind of harsh, and I think a lot of people did go for Joe maybe as a safe choice, like there's always an argument for the queen who went home first, they didn't really get to show much. You know what I wish, I wish those three had been a group for the Eurovision (I refuse to say Rurovision) challenge, and then everyone got a chance to vote someone back. That would have felt fairer somehow.

Anyway. I was initially really glad we got Joe back, because I really felt like she did have more to show. I was soon to be disappointed, however 😂

I do love the music challenges, and I adore MNEK, I hope he is like the permanent music judge. One of my favourite moments was him, I think it was after Bimini's first take, going "well...its good that we have that..." very like Chrissy Teigen 😬 that was so funny to me, I loved it.

1. A'Whora

Before the covid break I really didn't like A'Whora, but I feel like she's come back a bit more relaxed, a bit more open, and I liked her so much more this episode. I feel like maybe when she came back she was a bit more relaxed because she knew (kind of) what she was walking into, so she felt a but more at home, maybe. Anyway, I think she did really well this week! She's not a singer, but she leaned into this moany sexy thing that some people do do at Eurovision, and hey, sex sells! I think it was a smart choice for her.

Her look as well... amazing. You guys it was a bag of chips! She had wooden forks as her earrings! The font of the newspaper was to scale! She was carrying a salt shaker! It was so sick, I loved it. I loved seeing her be fashion and polished and beautiful, but also whimsy and funny at the same time! Great week for A'Whora.

2. Bimini Bon Boulash

We LOOOOOOOVE Bimini Bon Boulash! For me, she was the absolute stand out this week, I just adored her! Her verse was amazing, her lyrics were great, her very East London attitude was everything, I just loved it. And her outfit! That mad pink cowboy barbie? Incredible! Also, so Eurovision. And the jump off the stool! That lives in my head rent free. "Somebody do a death drop or summing!" Perfect. The whole performance was amazing.

Also her runway looooooook! It was so beautiful, so fashion, I was getting Gautier from that lace and the umbrella... everything about it to me was so perfect. I know it was a team win, but to me Bimini absolutely killed it, and she was my winner 🥰🥰

3. Ellie Diamond

I love Ellie, but honestly I think she's too young for this competition. She's so great, but if you give her just a couple more years, she's going to be absolutely unstoppable. I think she did pretty well this week, her lyrics were fun, she is a dancer, she performed great! I do agree with Michelle, she did look a little bit like she was in her head for a lot of the performance, but that just comes with confidence, and when you've not performed for 7 months and then suddenly you're on the main stage, that's got to be super nerve wracking!

I also think Ellie was a victim of a bad group this week. I think the group as a whole didn't have a lot of direction or focus, the choreography wasn't that great, they didn't really feel like a group. It was unfortunate. I feel like she did the best she could.

I kind of loved her runway, I think the seagull thing was hilarious! She was a human size seagull! That's hysterical. The only thing I kind of wish is that she'd had ridiculous padding on. Like, what's funnier than a giant seagull with huge tits in a bikini. I think that's so funny.

4. Joe Black

Oh Joe. I was excited for Joe to come back, but as soon as she walked out to the Eurovision challenge in that dress with that wig and a belt, I knew it was over.

I'll get into the dress H&M/Primark drama in a second, but first let's talk about the actual challenge. Joe's lyrics were pretty good, but the way she performed them was just so at odds with the track. It's cheesy Euro pop, you know? I just feel like she could have done things differently. And then with the choreo...look I don't expect anyone to walk in being a great dancer and doing flips and splits and all that, but I just felt like she didn't even really try with the moves Ellie and Tia wanted to do. Maybe that was the edit, I don't know. I also feel like, as team leader, she could have found some solutions, like they could've had Tia & Ellie doing these amazing moves, and Sister & Joe could have done something more simple, or they could have found some comedy Joe could lean into while the others were dancing, but it just seemed like they didn't even try and find a way around it? It was just a bit weird to me.

And then she came out for the runway, and it was like chalk and cheese. Joe Black had by far and away the best runway look of the night. That's one of my favourite things that's ever been worn on UK Drag Race, it was amazing. But it was also like girl if you can do that, why were you wearing H&M during the main challenge? And like, I'd get it, if that dress was beautiful, or bold, or she'd used it as a base and done something to it, but it wasn't. It was so basic, and she even said she knew it was basic, and it didn't even fit her right. It was just so disappointing.

Honestly, I understand what Ru was saying about not wanting to see off the rack. I can't believe I'm about to be defending Transphobia Paul, but I actually kind of agree. And it's not about money, I don't think anyone has to spend loads of money to be a good drag queen, I think its just about it being a Look. A Moment. Like this is internationally available TV. And you're going to come out to perform in a dress off the sale rack that you just threw on and belted? I just find that disappointing. And I get what people are saying about Astina in week 1 winning with an off the rack outfit, but at least she did something with it. I mean, first of all it at least was a cool jacket. But then she built this outfit, and sold a character, she gave us an East London Moment, and it didn't matter that the jacket was from ASOS.

Joe didn't give us anything with that dress. She did nothing with it, and she didn't give us a character or a presentation, it was just an ugly dress. But then she came out in that incredible runway look, why such a disconnect? And I know that it was covid, and everyone had a loss of income, but girl the filming started before that. Like Joe should have already had the wardrobe for the season all ready before the lockdown. And if she didn't, she had 7 months to do literally anything with that dress. Stone it, glitter it, paint it, dye it, wreck it with bleach, make it a top, make it a jacket, do SOMETHING! You know? Also, that runway look? Idk if she made it or commissioned it, but baby that was not cheap. That took time, and energy, and effort, and money, so I'm calling bullshit on "maybe she could only afford a sale rack H&M dress 😔". Bullshit, Vivienne.

I was just so disappointed in Joe. I'm glad she went home.

5. Lawrence Chaney

I was worried for Lawrence this week! She's not known for being a singer or a dancer, and she was the only plus size girl in her group. As a big bitch myself I know it can be intimidating to be surrounded by thin people, especially when you're doing things you're not confident in.

But bitch she fucking turned it out this week! She wrote good lyrics, she kept up with the choreography, but most importantly, she performed the song. Like she leaned into not being a good dancer, she didn't look unsure or awkward, she just did it. I love that about Lawrence, she always just gives it her best, and I respect the hell out of it.

Her day at the seaside look was cute. It was a little bit obvious, a little bit literal, but it was well made, it fit her beautifully, and she looked fantastic. She did the assignment, and tbh I'm happy with that. She did a good job, and I'm proud of her!

6. Sister Sister

Honesly, the fact that Tia Kofi was in the bottom two when Sister Sister was right there is a fucking hate crime.

I genuinely forgot Sister Sister even existed. Like the only memorable thing she has done all season is her Morning Talk Show goth, and that was painful to watch. And she spends all her confessionals just bitching and moaning about other people! She spent the whole Talk Show episode complaining about Veronica and saying she didn't wanna work with her, but bitch what did you do?? If you think someone else is boring, you should have no trouble out shining them! And then she didn't!

I'm over it with her. Her performance wasn't that good, her lyrics weren't that good, and then her runway look was like the Wish version of A'Whora's.

I'm not totally certain that I buy that Sister stole it as a concept from A'Whora, but... maybe? Like, if Sister had really seen A'Whora's when they were filming the first time, and Sister had something totally different back then... I can see that maybe she thought "oh, thats a way better idea". All I know is, if you're gonna do the same look as someone else, you better leave them in the dust; and she didn't. She should have been lipsyncing this week.

7. Tayce

Tayce really pulled it out this week! Her rap was one of the best performances in the whole show, she killed it! Her lyrics were great, she really delivered them like a rapper, and them she performed the hell out of the song! Loved it. The only things I had to say about Tayce was that she seemed like the odd one out in the group in terms of outfits? Like everyone else went very Eurovision, cheesy pop pink, and she went with a very cool, edgy, darker look. Like, she looked stunning, and I looooved her hair, but it just didn't quite fit with the rest of the group. But that's a real nitpick, in terms of the actual performance, she was amazing!

Tayce's runway look. It was okay. It was a little bit literal for me, she went for shells and netting. It was cool, she looked beautiful, but it wasn't like a knockout for me.

8. Tia Kofi

Tia got a raw fucking deal this week. She was the best performer in her group by a country fucking mile, she had the best lyrics, she was the best rapper, and I think she looked the best out of the four in that group (during during challenge). I could not believe they put her in the bottom two.

Okay, her runway look was not great. It was a long way from great. But at least she had a unique concept (*cough* Sister), and she gave us some form of presentation. It could have been a lot better, but there was potential! I really wish that she'd had a much more defined look, I wish the skirt had been a high waisted pencil skirt, with some kind of cone-like texture somehow, really fitted and beautiful. And then I wish the top had been really big and over the top ruffles, maybe tulle, just something BIG. And that wouldn't have had to be expensive, you can buy cheap pencil skirts, she could have dyed one brown herself, and then she could have bought that cheap mesh that looks like tulle and made a really big rounded ice cream top out of it - I'm just proving my point about Joe Black and the off the rack thing now btw. But I wish it had just been a bit more considered than it was. And I also wish she'd had a flake head piece instead of a cherry, because when you buy those ice creams at the beach it's always a 99.

One thing I will give Tia's runway this week is that her face was stunning. I think that's the best her face has looked all season, the makeup was beautiful.

There was kind of a lot of drama this week with the whole off the rack thing, and then the A'Whora vs Sister Sister conspiracy, and I kind of loved it! I also really enjoyed this challenge, I feel like they've had much better and more interesting challenges on the UK series than the American one. Also UK Hun is going to be in my head for weeks.

I'm picking my top 2 of the season as Lawrence Chaney and Bimini Bon Boulash. Veronica Green would have been up there for me as well, it's a real shame that she got sick and couldn't finish this season! I really really hope they bring her back for season 3!

Thoughts on the Current Comics Landscape

Warren Ellis makes great comics. A lot of them were a big parts of my formative years. I’ve talked before about my first foray into comic books being his run on Excalibur, and how the Kitty/Pete relationship was a very positive thing for me to read (dude respecting his girlfriend and admitting that she is way better at him at most things, and letting her be better than him at most things and not being bitter or insecure about it).

So yeah. Ellis has written some really great books.

But he’s also terrible, and crossed boundaries and manipulated and abused an army of women. 

Will I be reading anything new he puts out? 

No.

Will I always have a soft spot for his previous work that I already own? 

Yeah. 

I cannot undo the influence his writing had on my teen years. Getting rid of the books I already own of his won’t undo the pain he’s caused, and it won’t make me feel better either. So while I likely won’t be reading them any time soon, they’ll stay in the collection.

Pete and Kitty don’t belong to Ellis. While Ellis created Pete Wisdom, that character is a Marvel character who has been written by presumably less terrible people over the years. So I can say...read Paul Cornell’s mini-series or his run on MI-13 and still enjoy it, because Ellis had nothing to do with the making of those comics.

And, like anything fictional, as a fic writer, I can write those characters however I want, independent of their creator or source.

But it is a complicated issue, that I am still thinking about, and untangling in my brain; of consumption of the works of abusive creators, and what action to take when you find out they suck after the fact. 

I’ve had the same problem with Scott Lobdell for a decade now. I loved his work as a kid . He’s been a creep forever. One time, in an online instant message chat, he asked me what I was wearing, and then he claimed never to have met a girl who knew specific issue numbers of comic books before, when I didn’t respond. I was in my early twenties. I did my best to never speak to him again (though I did send him a “WTF is this?” instant message when he was writing Teen Titans for the New52. Which was funny.)

I also liked Jeff Loeb’s work, and on a personal note, felt bad about his son’s death. Turns out he’s pretty racist. 

And maybe the answer is informed consumption. Knowing that what you’re reading or what you’ve read in the past was partially created by someone who is terrible, and going into it with that knowledge. 

There’s no use in saying “I never liked/trusted that person anyway.” Because it’s not really a question of liking them or trusting them. I don’t know them as fellow human beings. I just know their books that I’ve read, and now the terrible things they’ve done.

As Jay Edidin said: There’s really no ethical consumption in a capitalist patriarchy. So all we can really do is our best here.

In the meantime, in the interest of staying informed, and if you can stomach it, I encourage you to go check out the work being done at the site Ellis’ abusers have organized to hold him accountable: 

https://www.somanyofus.com/

And to listen to the Jay and Miles Xplain the X-Men episode on the ethics of consumption and accountability: 

https://www.xplainthexmen.com/2020/08/303-no-simple-answers-feat-laura-hudson/  

Let’s do our best. <3 

I felt like my thoughts on the confessional booth required an entire own post cause I’m currently hella fixated on this film

1. alexxis lemire’s acting is so fucking phenomenal

like bitch I almost shed a tear, like the writing as well so so good but the delivery man, that hit so close to home she genuinely looks so pained and troubled and I’m shook to the fucking core about it

2. the writing is so honest

like it seems like she is just talking to herself like we all do, it’s vague enough that you can interpret as to be about either ellie or paul and whether she is questioning herself and everything she thought she knew or not and it’s incredible

3. tbh, kinda glad it wasn’t put in

I know, I know, I asked for the scene lol and I think it’s an incredible scene and we learn so much more about aster as a person but the whole priest thing at the end and his face feels too much like comic relief after aster is having like this mental breakdown over her identity and I think it makes sense that it was left out

4. the ellie interpretation

I read through some of the comments and a lot of people are thinking that this would’ve been after the yakult scene and honestly, that checks out it makes sense why aster would be having all these feelings and shit cause she had spent that day with ellie and probably worked out the whole thing anyway

and I think that whole thing “it’s this secret that’s stashed in you until one day you feel like someone has the same secret and suddenly this thing you held feels so amazing and real” and just my heart. that links so perfectly to the entire ellie and aster situation

like I don’t know if I’m overanalysing or if I’m just trying to make it gay or anything but it feels like when you find your first gay friend and you feel this sense of unity and it sounds like that, like a moment of realisation and a moment of struggle to come to terms of it y’know.

and just a lot of stuff she said as well to do with love being selfish ellie mentions in her huge proposal disruption later which makes sense cause she is supposed to be on the other side of the booth and I just love it so much

National Dance Radio Airplay Dance Radio Airplay

as reported by Mediabase

Top 50 for the week ending May 6, 2023

Can't Tame Her----Zara Larson -4

Miracle----Calvin Harris, Ellie Goulding -5

Vibration----Kaleena Zanders, Shift K3Y -1

Where You Are----John Summit, Hayla -7

Antidote----Audien, Codeko f/ JT Roach -8

Rhyme Dust----MK & Dom Dolla -9

I Want You----Icona Pop, Galantis -10

Luv Me A Little----ILLENIUM, Nina Nesbitt -2

State Of Mind----Duke & Jones, Marlhy -3

Baby Don't Hurt Me---David Guetta, AnneMarie, C Leroy -11

Nothing In Common----MOTI WITH RALPHI -5

No Sleep----Regard X Ella Henderson -12

Clouds----BUNT., Nate Traveller -15

Hungry Hearts----Steve Aoki, Galantis f/ Hayley Kiyoko -16

Whistle----Jax Jones, Calum Scott -17

Bright Lights----Kx5 -20

I Go Dancing----Frank Walker, Ella Henderson -13

All Nighter---Tiesto -21

AM PM----NOTD, Maia Wright -23

Need Me Right---Anabel Englund -18

Lavender Haze-----Taylor Swift -19

16 Again---Paul Woolford, Lewis Thompson, MNEK -24

Make Me Feel---The Chainsmokers, Cheyenne Giles -14

You Got Me----TELYKAST f/ Georgia Ku -26

On & On----Armin Van Buuren, Punctual, Alika -31

Feels This Good----Sigala, Mae Muller, Caity Baser, Stefflon Don -38

U Ok?---Parisus, Steve Angello, Benjamn Ingrosso -28

10:35----Tiesto, Tate McRae -25

Flowers----Mylie Cyrus -27

Heart Wants What It Wants----Bebe Rexha -34

Hollow----Haliene & Elephante -37

Same Mistake---Shane Codd, LA Vision f/ BIM -45

Lionheart (Fearless)---Joel Corry, Tom Grennan -32

City Of Love----Surf Mesa, Selah Sol -30

Lost----RSCL, It's Murph, Twin Diplomacy, Jack August -33 >>*

***Prasing You----Rita Ora f/ Fatboy Slim -87

***Lay Low----Tiesto -52

Unholy----Sam Smith, Kim Petras -44

I'm Good (Blue)----David Guetta, Bebe Rexha -47

All By Myself----Alok, Sigala, Ellie Goulding -43

Baby Again...----Fred Again..., Skrillex, FOUR TET -41

Oops---Armin Van Helden, Karen Harding -35 >>*

Hold Me Closer---Elton John, Britney Spears -42

***From The Start----Morgin Madison, Ryan Lucian -58

Anyway----Cash Cash f/ Ruthanne -22 >>*

Take Me Home---VAVO f/ Clara Mae -48

Too Late For Love---3LAU -39 >>*

Trustfall---Pink -49

History---Joel Corry, Becky Hill -53

10 Out Of 10---Olive Heldens, Kylie Minogue -46

>>* not on next weeks chart ** new on this chart

A Match made in Therapy Chapter 3: Beginnings

Summary: JT and Dani know that outside of the Team Bright had very few people in his life. It was them, Gil, his mother, sister, therapist, parakeet, and his serial killer father. His circle of friends was small, but not as small as they seemed to think. Chapter 1

Chapter 2

 Chapter 3 (HERE)

________________________________________________

“Are you Matt?”

He was expecting Malcolm with the latest book he had gotten, An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness by Kay Redfield Jamison, just like he had done for the last four weeks, on his lap but this wasn’t the bubbling acquaintance Matt had made. This was a man, mid-thirties if Matt had to guess, holding himself strongly, he was trained, the clink of metal on his belt said Police. Next to him was a small girl, maybe eight, long hair brushing over her collar as she looked at him.

“Why do you want to know,” He asked, hand reaching out to grab his cane, ready to scream and swing if the man tried to grab him, less likely with the girl here, but still a possibility.

“I told you,” The girl whined, “This is Matt, He’s always with Malcolm when we’re here.”

“You know Malcolm?” He asked quietly if it was an abduction then he was targeted for a specific reason, maybe Malcolm’s money?

“Uh-Huh,” She agreed, “He’s my brother.”

The Blind boy finally relaxed, remembering how the other boy had explained and detailed how much his little sister was amazing and annoying, “You’re Ainsley?”

“Yeah! Malcolm said we should find you.”

“Why? Is he okay?” He asked, realizing his fri- acquaintance wasn’t there. Why had Ainsley and this man (was he their dad?) come instead?

“He’ll be okay,” The man relayed, “ My name is Gil Arroyo, I work with the NYPD and Malcolm wanted me to tell you that he can’t make it today because he’s sick.”

Matt couldn’t stop his face from falling at those words, “But he’ll be okay?”

“He’ll be okay,” The officer repeated, voice soft and soothing, “He started a new medication a few days ago and had a bad reaction to them. He stopped taking them but he needs another few days to get back on his feet.”

“Oh...”Matt breathed, ignoring the knot in his chest that loosed as he heard Malcolm was fine, “That’s good. Thanks for letting me know.”

“No problem kid,” Gil laughed, “He did say that you might be interested in hearing a few passages from his book though, would you like me to read them or wait until next week?”

“You don’t need to-”

“Gil does lots of things,” Ainsley cut in, “Cause he wants to, even when it’s my brother calling him at weird hours in the morning and not talk, just listening to Gil talk. He wouldn’t offer if he didn’t want to read to you.”

Matt scrunched up his face, but the man’s heart was steady and even as ever, comforting almost.

“No pressure, Matt,” He said, “I don’t have anywhere to be until six when my wife wants me home, but you can wait until next week for Malcolm if you’d prefer.”

Matt was silent for a long moment, he wasn’t supposed to ask for things, but would Malcolm come back if he was rude to Gil? Whatever relationship they had was clearly a very deep one if they weren’t father and son.

“It’s called The Summer of the Danes,” Gil read off, “by Ellis Peters. Malcolm said you usually share nonfictional books but this is a new medieval mystery novel from a series he enjoys and he has been itching to read it. The synopsis says that Brother Cadfael is pleased to join his young friend Mark, now a deacon, on a mission of church diplomacy in Wales. Traveling in the safety of the Prince of Geynedd’s train, they are brought to unexpected dangers, as they seek to keep a young Welsh woman free from harm.”

Malcolm almost squirmed, it did sound interesting… but make-believe wasn’t supposed to be something he looked for. Stick used to snap about how consuming too much fiction would make him disconnect from reality.

But Malcolm wanted him to hear it…

“Can you read a little of it please?”

He could feel Gil’s smile as the man sat down next to him on the bench, and Matt couldn’t help but stiffen as Ainsley climbed up on his other side, leaning into his arm lightly.

“I want to hear too! Malcolm always reads stuff to me,” She said not bothered that her bench partner seemed to turn into a stone statue.

Gil just laughed, patting his back lightly, “Breathe kid, she doesn’t bite, and she’ll move if you want her too.”

“No, I’m okay.”

Gil shook his head slightly, but opened the book and began to read.

“ The Extraordinary events of the Summer of 1144 may properly be said to have began the previous year, in the tangle of threads both ecclesiastical and secular, a net in which any number of diverse people became enmeshed, clerics, from the archbishop down to Bishop Roger de Clinton’s lowiest deacon and the laity from the princes of the North Wales down to the humblest cottager in the trefs of Arfon. And among the commonality thus entrammelled, more to the point, an elderly Benedictine monk of the Abbey of Saint Peter and Saint Paul, a Shrewbury …”

By the time Gil had finished the second chapter, Matt found himself relaxing, even if little Ainsley didn’t move far from his side, brushing up against him in a familiar way that made no sense since he had just met her a little over an hour before. The story was enthralling, the plotlines drawing Matt in swiftly as Gil’s low rumbling voice painted scene after scene for his sightless eyes to enjoy. He had even started poking fun at the man's voices for the different characters, barely able to keep a straight face once Heledd, the female lead in the book was introduced, but Ainsley insisted he continues the voices, something Matt wouldn’t admit he was pleased about.  

As the third chapter grew to a close, Ainsley’s attention seemed to waver. The quiet jangle of a bell told him why before she even opened his mouth.

“Can we get ice cream?”

“I don’t see why not,” Gil answered with no hesitation as he used the dust sleeve to mark his place.

“Yes!” She cheered hopping to her feet, “I want bubblegum, and chocolate, and strawberry-”

“You can get one flavor Ains,” Gil cut in, “What would you like Matt?”

“Oh, I’m fine, no need to bother” He quickly replied, even as  Ainsley grabbed his hand.

“It’s really no bother,” the man soothed, “It’ll be good for us to take a break from reading anyways.”

“I… I can’t,” Matt barely breathed, waiting for the disgust, “My stomach…”

Gil was quiet, his heart squeezing oddly, “Is this an ongoing problem? Being sensitive to different food?”

“Yes…” Stick would beat him for being so weak.

“That’s okay,” Gil soothed, “Food can be tricky, we could get you something lighter, like a popsicle or just some vanilla ice cream-”

“No,” Matt’s stomach twisted into an icy ball, “No vanilla.”

“Okay, what about citrus, how do you do with that?”

Matt thought for a second, “It’s usually fine, as long as it’s not overly sugared.”

The man nodded, “Okay. I’ll be right back.”  

As he walked away, Ainsley rocked lightly on her heels, “Gil doesn’t mind you know?”

“What?”

“He’s used to people not handling food real well,” She told him, “Malcolm is bad with food too, he has been since Daddy got taken away.”

“Gil isn’t your dad?”

“No, he’s the one that took daddy away,” Ainsley explained, “Mommy said Daddy hurt a lot of people and so he has to go away for a long time. Malcolm was really sad about it. Gil worries about us a lot so he comes and makes sure we’re okay now that daddy’s gone.”

“That’s nice of him,” Matt said with a smile he hoped didn’t look like a grimace. Malcolm and he had a sort of understanding that personal questions weren’t something they liked dealing with. He never asked and Malcolm never shared but for some reason, he wanted to know what had happened to his frie- acquaintance, His acquaintance.

He let Ainsley chat aimlessly to him until Gil returned with their treats, slowly taking his.

“Maybe you can read next time, Matt,” Ainsley suggested between licks to her ice cream, strawberry from the smell of it, “I think you’d do fun voices.”

“We’d have to find another book,” He hummed, not really registering the suggestion, too busy savoring the cool popsicle. It was amazing, one of the best things he’s ever eaten. The lemon wasn’t from concentrate, instead of using fresh juice and zest, just a little sugar to turn the overly sour taste into an enjoyable tart.

“Why?”

“The book is too new,” He replied easily, with a shrug, “I’d expect it to be at least a year before they make it in braille and for the libraries to get it. Though the new ADA laws being passed might get it out a little faster.”

“They don’t just make the books you can read when they make the books we can read?”

“No,” Usually these questions just felt tedious to explain to everyone, but the general earnest in Ainsley’s voice made the questions easy to answer, “They need a special printer to make a book in braille and they don’t have as many braille printers as text printers so it takes longer.”

“That’s dumb,” She whined, leaning into his side, “You like books almost as much as Malcolm, you should have all the books!”

“I think the nuns would protest to that,”

“Then they’re dumb-dumbs. I’m gonna get you all the books so that you can read them or I’m gonna learn to read really good and read them all to you!”

He couldn’t help but laugh at her proclamation, “That sounds amazing Ainsley.”

It really really did.

________________________________________________

When Malcolm left the precinct early, instead of being drug out by Gil he could see the surprise on the team’s face, Dani quickly asking if he was feeling okay, but he just brushed them off, holding up the business card Matt had dropped off as they were leaving the station.

He was on a mission and he wasn’t about to wait any longer, especially since the case was on hold for a few hours as they secured a warrant.

The door opened right as Malcolm was about to reach it, Foggy sticking his head out.

“Matt heard me?” He asked, watching the blond pale.

“What no, of course not! You know all that stuff they say about the other senses compensating if bullshit.”

“Moth boy!” Malcolm called gruffly, as he pushed passed the stuttering lawyer swiftly “Want to tell me all about this Devilish handsome figure that’s apparently flipping through Hell’s Kitchen?”

There were two more people in the office, a pale blonde woman whose eyes had blown huge as he entered and a dark brunette that simply raised an eyebrow, holding herself defensively, but Matt didn’t look worried, instead, his face twisted in a worried snarl.

“Depends,” His voice was low, Malcolm only able to discern the anxiety in his tone from years of knowing him, “Want to tell me about Watkins and how your dad ended up in the hospital?”

“Ohh,” Malcolm hummed, “Someone did their research, but I asked first.”

“No I asked first,” Matt snapped, “Back at the precinct.”

“My escapades are well documented through the news, and by retelling of my sister for her new very loyal following, you, on the other hand, get away with only ghost stories, broken bones and a few shaky pictures of a man in an armored Halloween costume,” He shouted back, moving into Matt’s face, “I mean Devil of Hell’s Kitchen? Anyone that spends enough time with you could piece it together, it’s not like  you don’t say ‘Murdock boys have the Devil in them,’ at the drop of a hat or anything!”

“Oh, I don’t want to hear the moral high ground from you, resident! You let your mom stab your father!”

Malcolm faltered, making Matt pause as his heart flipped.

The room grew silent as Matt glared at the other man, “You’re hiding something.”

“Always,” Malcolm slide in easily, their old inside joke falling short.

“Mal…”

“I can’t tell you,” He answered back, “Not about that, the trail hasn’t even started yet for Mother.”

“If I wanted to see boyfriend drama,” The brunette grumbled, “I would go find a case, what the hell is even happening, Murdock?”

“Yeah,” The other woman added, “I’d like to know that as well.”

“Hello,” Malcolm greeted, “I’m Malcolm Bright, this blind reckless idiot’s best friend, we’re currently discussing how we’re both lack sense of self-preservation and how we’re mad at each other for not sharing our latest escapees, and you are?”

“Karen,” The blonde answered with a raised brow, “I’ve been working with Matt and Foggy on for over a year now.

“Ah,” He smiled, “You must be the Page of the Nelson, Murdock, and Page then, and you Miss?”

“Jessica Jones,”  She offered, “ Thought Nelson was Murdock’s best friend?”

“He has two,” Foggy shrugged, “He’s known Malcolm for longer and they both have the same dumbass martyr thought process.”

“Not a martyr,” The pair answered in unison.

“Not from a lack of trying,” Foggy mumbled, “But either way, I guess you figured out Matt’s night job?”

“Profiler. Didn’t even know about Daredevil until today, guess the only good news is someone has to know you pretty well to see the clues, Moth.”

Matt scowled at him, “Can we go back to the fact you were kidnapped and then witnessed your mom stab your father through the heart?”  

“No. Can’t tell you anything about Mother anyways.”

Matt squinted at him, or rather at his ear, before holding out a hand, “Wallet,”

“Why?” He asked even as he handed it over. Matt fumbled through it a little pulling out four bills.

“Are these all the same amount?”

“Yes, hundreds,” Malcolm answered with a raised brow.

“Rich boy,” Matt mumbled with a fond eye roll, “One for Jess, one for Karen, one for Foggy and One for me. Congrats Mr. Bright, you just hired three lawyers and a PI. You now have attorney-client privilege and PI level discreetment. Tell us what happened with your mother and the carousel killer.”

Malcolm just sat there blinking in confusion for a long minute before he let out a soul-weary groan, “I hate you.”

Matt just smiled back, “No you don’t.”

__________________________________________________

Taglist: @ofvalkyrja

Blood, tears and sea breeze.

Hi there! First things first, I want to apologize for the long time that has gone by since an update, I am truly sorry. I would explain, I am a doctor and I work in a rural area, we had a nasty Dengue virus outbreak and we had a lot of patients, so I was buried in job, we had no mortal victims thankfully, but it was insane. Also I get the Dengue myself and it was awful, but I feel better now and everything is going back to normal, here is a new chapter to this story I hope you enjoy it.

Warnings: ANGST, mental health issues, graphic depictions of violence, blood, cursing, mentions of sexual assault, mentions of sex, substance abuse.

Summary: The not so peaceful town of Broadchurch face dead again, while Alec Hardy continues his journey to redemption will this school teacher be the key to solve the mystery or just another victim of the ever watching evilness that seems to reside in the town.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 7: Like a sleepover.

Alec parked his car near the church and cursed himself when he realized his mistake since his presence confirmed to the reporters that something or someone interesting was inside, when he approach the benches he could se Paul who was lecturing a woman with an angry tone that he had never listened before, neither have the old lady in front of him since she looked terrified at him.

"Don't come here acting innocent, the lord knows when your motives are driven by greed and I truly hope whatever you use the money they gave you is worth it, and don't you dare to blame it on your grandchildren since they don't need to have this terrible example from their grandmother" He was obviously restraining from using more harsh language but the anger on his face was enough to make his point clear, and Alec even stop himself from storming in. "Now go away Mrs Campbell, and I hope you would think about your actions when you go out and talk with that people" The woman went out walking rapidly and visibly shaken.

"I was under the deception that priests never get mad" the detective enter the room and Paul gesture relaxed immediately. "Although is rewarding seeing you act out like that"

"Well they do when their congregation sell out each other for money" He said fixing up his clerical collar and regaining composure. "I'm glad you are here, it's madness out there, this town I thought they were better than this"

"Well you choose a profession full of disappointments" Y/N voice came from the altar and she approached now wearing what Hardy asume were donated clothes to big for her making her look like a child, and he brushed away the endearing feeling bursting in him for a second "For what is worth you should be more like that, maybe seeing the personification of the wrath of God in your face would make them listen" She said touching his arm making him smile, a stupid smile in Hardy's opinion. "D. I. Hardy, I was not expecting to see you so soon, but I assume you are not here to tell me I can go home already" She said with a pinch of hope in her voice that was killed the instant Alec look at her.

"No, I'm afraid not, and since you staying here has already been released to the media within four hours you can't longer stay here." He said trying to think what to do next.

"Yeah, and Ellie's ... I mean D.S. Miller's nephew certainly did a number on me didn't he?" She said bitterly, she appear more calmed, and he could see a glimpse of the woman who's thoughts he had spend the morning reading.

"That bloody idiot, he would sell out his own mother for a "good story" and he always think he is doing the police a favor, only making our job more difficult" Alec was angry and his mind was still trying to figure out his next move.

"Well now I'm glad I never dated him." Y/N said trying to lighten up the mood. "I can stay at the Trader's I can pay for that for a couple weeks, I would hate to cause more trouble"

"I don't think you should stay that close to Jonathan's house" Pauld said getting ahead of Hardy "Maybe Beth can take you, just for the night at least" He said and then look at Hardy.

"Sure, I mean if she agrees" He said knowing she will since they had been in a similar situation before.

"Great! If you think you can trust Lizzie's family to murderous psychopath, it'll be just like a sleepover" Y/N said sarcastically making both men feel uncomfortable. "I'm kidding? You guys really need to relax" She said looking at them "Now how am I supposed to get out of here?"

"I may have an idea" Hardy said finally with his expression still as stoic as ever.

Ellie stormed in her sister's house and the young man working o his laptop stood up immediately trying seeking cover behind the kitchen table.

"You bloody bastard!" She screamed at him and she grabbed the closest thing to her

"He hey hey... relax" He said putting his hands in front of him, she throw the ceramic fruit to his head. "Hey you almost hit me!" He screamed when she missed and the pear shattered in pieces.

"What the fuck were you thinking?!" Ellie scream again "Don't you have any decency left since you came back? That poor woman you have signaled as a suspect is not even at the police station anymore you moron."

"What? But you take her in for questioning, and she was covered in blood... and..." Olly realized his mistake and start looking at his aunt with sorrow, he was not about to betray his source but he understood that he had done something wrong "Damn it Ellie I'm sorry, I thought it was legitimate information"

"Well it doesn't matter anymore, once again I'm going to clean up your mess, come by the station we are going to release an official statement about Norbury's death and maybe it will help to clear out this mess" She was being reasonable, more than he can hope for since he was sure she was still pissed.

"And the woman? If she is not at the station where is she?" He jump straight back at the subject annoying Miller.

"Too late for you, didn't you hear? There is a horde of reporters raiding the church to talk to her" She smile at him, happy to see he didn't know, and hoping that Hardy had taken care of that end.

Paul came out of the church and a small figure covered jump in the car with him and he drove past the reporters who immediately try to follow him and some even did on their own vehicles, maybe when they figured he was just going out to get the paper and some groceries with the help of a boy that was being punished for misbehaving at school, would they realized their mistake, and how they didn't pay attention to the pair of people that walked from the back of the church to the Latimer's house.

"So, did you talk to Dr. Florence?" Y/N asked when the garden of the Latimer's was in sight "Oh come on, they can't no longer see us" She urged him when he gave her another of his angry looks.

"I did, but I am not supposed to discuss any of the investigation with you" He said finally.

"Fine, I'm sure she was pleased to see you again" She said and smiled at his puzzled face "I have seen you in her office before, and I overhear the last time you were there, you made a big deal about not wanting to come back"He looked ashamed and open the fence of the backyard to avoid her look "Relax I won't tell anybody, no one will listen anyway, I'm crazy remember? We can still be therapy buddies" She wink at him and enter followed by the baffled detective.

"Oi! I thought she was supposed to escape the press, come inside before any of those idiots will see you" Mark Latimer called them and they hurry inside.

"Mrs. Latimer, I don't know how to thank you"Y/N said once they were inside.

"It's nothing, Chloe's room is clean and free since she is at Uni, you can take it, can you show it to her dear?" Mark nodded and they walk out of the kitchen and Hardy could see her holding on to Lizzie a little more than usual.

"I wouldn't bring her here if I felt she was in any way guilty you know" He said to her and her arms relaxed a little.

"Well you can never be completely sure. But if you trust her we would help you for as long as we can."

"Don't worry, I just need her to have a place for the night we will figure something else tomorrow" He said and a couple minutes later he walked out of the house to get back his car. Ellie had the press release almost done by the time he arrived at the station and the sun was setting on Broadchurch.

"Busy day huh?" She said offering a cup of coffee "Brian is finishing with the house but he said he found something interesting about the cottage, he will tell us later, are you ready for the press."

"I'm fine, I swear Miller this bloody town is fill with idiots, this woman just lost her fiance and they are making all this circus about it" he sit on his chair and let go and exasperated sigh. "Let's get this over with".

It was as simple message, a man have been found dead and the police was investigating several lines of information, they had no idea who had done such monstrosity, and they urged the public to speak up, and no they were not considering the partner of the victim as a suspect, yet the mind of one of the many souls watching said, and turn off the telly, before exiting the room carrying a purple suitcase with the name Jonathan Norbury on it.

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@laciesaito

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For better or for worse, I have a job that is exempt - to a great degree - from the widespread need for isolation (in the world of news radio, the show must go on). However, I do get days off and thank goodness for that because my brain can only take so much constant pandemic talk.

So! I offer up ‘the ultimate music list’, something I started doing on YouTube last year. Maybe earlier. It’s a living list, it will never be complete. Anyway, listen to the way my music mind rambles! All songs listed on the other side of the keep reading line (not linked, you gotta do some of the work):

Seinabo Sey - I Owe You Nothing Janelle Monáe – Django Jane Janelle Monáe - PYNK Janelle Monáe – Make Me Feel Sudan Archives - Come Meh Way Sudan Archives - Come Meh Way & Wake Up | A Take Away Show St. Beauty - Not Discuss It Japanese Breakfast - Boyish St. Beauty - Caught Kali Uchis - After The Storm ft. Tyler, The Creator, Bootsy Collins Kali Uchis - Tomorrow (ft. Tame Impala) Kali Uchis - Dead To Me Kali Uchis - Body Language (Intro) Kali Uchis - Just A Stranger Kali Uchis - In My Dreams Kali Uchis - Flight 22 Sigrid - Strangers King Princess - 1950 Sigrid - Don’t Kill My Vibe Sigrid - Plot Twist Moonchild - The List Amber Mark - Way Back The Internet - Girl DeJ Loaf - Changes Erykah Badu - Window Seat Erykah Badu - Afro Blue M.I.A. - Matangi M.I.A. - Double Bubble Trouble M.I.A. - Paper Planes A Tribe Called Red - The Light II Ft. Lido Pimienta A Tribe Called Red - Sisters ft Northern Voice PRINCESS NOKIA - BRUJAS PRINCESS NOKIA - TOMBOY Solange - Cranes in the Sky Solange - Don't Touch My Hair ft. Sampha SZA - Broken Clocks SZA - Drew Barrymore SZA - Go Gina SZA - Prom SZA - Pretty Little Birds Sade - Flower of the Universe Sade - The Sweetest Taboo Sade - Paradise Sade - Turn My Back On You Sade - Smooth Operator Sade - Cherish the Day Erykah Badu - On & On Jill Scott - A Long Walk Erykah Badu - Tyrone (Live) Janelle Monáe - I Like That Christine and the Queens - Girlfriend Humble the Poet - H.A.I.R. Lush - Desire Lines Lush - Never-Never Rachel Sermanni 'Take Me Out' - Franz Ferdinand Cover Memory House - When You Sleep (Yours Truly Session) Sumner McKane - The Turncoat Nothing Matters When We’re Dancing - The Magnetic Fields (Sense8 Remix) (feat. Zoe Wise) Julia Holter - I Shall Love 2 Dua Lipa - New Rules [Initial Talk 80s Rules Remix] Lady Gaga - Venus (80s Synthwave Version) Ruelle - Take It All Kraak & Smaak Ft. Parcels - Stumble Calvin Harris, Dua Lipa - One Kiss Timecop1983 - Girl (feat. SEAWAVES) Aretha Franklin - Mary, Don't You Weep (Live at New Temple Missionary Baptist Church, Los Angeles, January 14, 1972) Sarah Vaughan - Misty (Live from Sweden) Ellie Goulding - My Blood (Kastle Remix) Darksynth Paradise - A NewRetroWave Mix | 1 Hour | Retrowave/ Darkwave/ Electro | Sudan Archives - Nont For Sale Christine and the Queens - 5 dollars Christine and the Queens - Doesn’t matter Christine and the Queens - The walker Christine and the Queens - Damn (what must a woman do) Christine and the Queens - Goya soda Christine and the Queens - The stranger Lone - Poltergeist Screamin’ Jay Hawkins - I Hear Voices Lost Years - Pressure Windows 95 Start-up remix Windows 95 Startup Sound (Slowed 4000%) Seoul - Silencer Blackwater Holylight - Willow Her's - Low Beam Here We Go Magic - Alone But Moving John Maus - Bennington AC Temple - Yield Lana del Rey - Summertime Sadness (SxAde Synthwave Version) Ariana Grande - "Into You"  80′s Remix Demi Lovato - Cool for the Summer   80′s Remix Fifth Harmony - Sledgehammer   80′s Remix Lady Gaga - Perfect Illusion   80s Remix Ariana Grande - Greedy [Initial Talk "90s state of mind" Remix] Happy Hippie Presents: Miley Cyrus & Ariana Grande - Don't Dream It's Over Mariah Carey - Touch My Body [Initial Talk 90s Splash! Remix] Dua Lipa - IDGAF (Initial Talk Remix) 憂鬱 - Sun Lady Gaga - Joanne (Where Do You Think You’re Goin’?) Robyn - Honey Dolly Parton - Here You Come Again Floating Points - Nuits Sonores Sade - The Big Unknown Amanda Shires - Leave It Alone Crockett - City of Ghosts [Full Album] Toni Harper - "The Velvet Hammer" (stereo), 1959 Cristina - "Things Fall Apart" Dexter Gordon - What’s New Warren Zevon - Things To Do In Denver When You're Dead - Rochester, 1994 Le1f - Wut Katie Herzig - Sweet Dreams (Are Made of These) Raymond Scott - "Boy Scout In Switzerland" - Quartet San Francisco (arranged by Robert Gilmore) Jan A.P. Kaczmarek - Aimee & Jaguar Main Theme Toni Harper - "The Other Woman"  Toni Harper - The meaning of the blues Vanessa - Upside Down Anna Ternheim - Summer Rain feat. Nina Kinert, Ane Brun, First Aid Kit and Ellekari Larsson of The Tiny Ella Fitzgerald & Bill Doggett ~ Rough Ridin' Eraldo Bernocchi, Harold Budd,Robin Guthrie - South Of Heaven (Winter Garden) Slum Village - Fall in Love (Instrumental) Shonen Knife - Twist Barbie Dave Berry - This Strange Effect Sarah Harmer - Basement Apartment The Original Stroll - February 1958 Gertrude Lawrence - My Sweet Gustav HOLST: St. Paul's Suite (III. Intermezzo, IV. Finale) Rumskib - Secrets Caterina Valente - Stranger In Paradise Borodin - Prince Igor - Polovtsian Dances Darshan Ambient - Mirage Girl Crisis - Smooth Operator Girl Crisis - Paranoid Mulatu Astatke's "Mulatu" Vivien Goldman - Launderette Jonatha Brooke - West Point Lesley Gore - You Don’t Own Me Matthew Schoening - Emotional Clockwork Molly Nilsson - Hey Moon Kate Bush - Cloudbusting (The Organon Mix re-edit) Stravinsky conducts Stravinsky FIREBIRD COMPLETE The Carter Family - Wildwood Flower Grimes - Vanessa Kenneth Bager Fr. one (...and I kept hearing) Land of Talk - It’s Okay Nite Jewel - Artificial Intelligence Geneva Jacuzzi - Clothes On the Bed Thom Yorke & Jonny Greenwood - Karma Police | Glastonbury Festival, Pilton UK (8/9) Maps of Norway - Traffic Simian Mobile Disco - Cruel Intentions Aerosmith - Crazy Bruce Kaphan - Undeserved Ending The Pains Of Being Pure At Heart - "Everything With You" Thao with the Get Down Stay Down - Body Janelle Monae - "Tightrope" 5/18 Letterman Simian Mobile Disco - Hustler Ladyhawke - My Delirium Marion Cotillard & Franz Ferdinand - Eyes of Mars Ladytron - Destroy Everything You Touch (live) Kate Bush - Army Dreamers Tegan and Sara - Living Room Kate Bush - Cloudbusting Beatrice Eli - Girls NewRetroWave End of 2017 Mix - (The Future Beckons) - [80s/ Retrowave/ Outrun/ Retro Electro] Vaporwave / Chillwave - Ultimate Mix The Chordettes "Lollipop" & "Mr. Sandman" Sufjan Stevens - Tonya Harding Taylor Davis - Stranger Things Violin Medley STRANGER THINGS MEETS CLASSICAL GUITAR Grace Sings Sludge - Difficult To Love Satchmode - Happiness Part 1 River Whyless - Life Crisis Stefano Barone - Batman - Alexander Supertramp Bebel Gilberto - "Aganjú"(Ao Vivo) - Bebel Gilberto In Rio Katie Melua - Diamonds are Forever  Carly Rae Jepsen - Run Away With Me Beulahbelle - You Only Live Twice (Living Room Version) Grimes - We Appreciate Power Meshell Ndegeocello - Sensitivity Kodacrome - Buckets Röyksopp - Remind Me Lizzo - Juice Lizzo - Truth Hurts Lizzo - Good As Hell Electrelane - To the East Electrelane - I only always think Sean Paul - Get Busy 憂鬱 - Azure Day (Full EP) 憂鬱 - Slow Suzanne Vega - Luka | The story behind the song Seoul - Real June Broken Social Scene on House of Strombo Show Big Boi’s Favorite Verse: Kate Bush’s “Running Up That Hill” Cherry Glazerr - Nurse Ratched  Jan A.P. Kaczmarek - Aimée & Jaguar Mister Rogers Remixed | Garden of Your Mind Grant Green - Idle Moments Hole Reunion after 15 yrs. Teeth - Care Bear ST. VINCENT covers BIG BLACK at BOWERY BALLROOM NYC May 22 2011 Broadcast - Man is not a bird (Teac A-4010 s Reel to Reel) Billy May - So Nice (Samba De Verão) Pogo - Mellow Brick Road Anna Calvi - Jezebel (Attic Sessions 5) Anna Calvi - Joan Of Arc (Attic Sessions 4) Anna Calvi - Surrender (Attic Sessions 3) Anna Calvi - Sound & Vision (Attic Sessions 1) Anna Calvi - Wolf Like Me (Attic Sessions 2) Clementine - ALL BLUES Skip James - Hard Time Killin’ Floor Blues Anna Calvi - Suzanne And I Total Slacker - Thyme Traveling High School Dropout Siouxsie & The Banshees- Metal (Elizabethan Suite 1977) Second Chorus (Charlie North Remix) The Castaways - Liar Liar Alex Gaudino Feat. Christal Waters - Destination Calabria Loose Ends - Hangin’ On a String Pizzicato Five - The Audrey Hepburn Complex Edie Brickell & New Bohemians - What I Am The Bangles - Walk Like an Egyptian The Human League - Love Action (I Believe In Love) The Human League - Don’t You Want Me The Human League - (Keep Feeling) Fascination Wang Chung - Dance Hall Days PJ Harvey - Hanging in the Wire PJ Harvey - Rid Of Me PJ Harvey & Thom Yorke - This Mess We’re In PJ Harvey - We Float PJ Harvey - This Wicked Tongue PJ Harvey - A Place Called Home The Sundays - Here’s Where The Story Ends Flock of Seagulls - Space Age Love Song The Psychedelic Furs - Love My Way Hall & Oates - Out of Touch Hall & Oates - I Can’t Go For That (No Can Do) Toto - Rosanna Toto - Africa Fleetwood Mac - Little Lies Tears For Fears - Head Over Heels Philip Bailey, Phil Collins - Easy Lover Spandau Ballet - True Tears For Fears - Shout Sigrid - Don’t Feel Like Crying Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark - Souvenir The Jesus and Mary Chain - April Skies The Ocean Blue - Between Something and Nothing No Joy - Hollywood Teeth Tamaryn - Last Tamaryn - Softcore Tamaryn - Cranekiss Ashrae Fax - CHKN Echo & the Bunnymen - A Promise Ashrae Fax - Intexus The Motels - Only the Lonely Other Colors - Dark Things Bauhaus - All We Ever Wanted Was Everything George Clanton - It Makes the Babies Want to Cry Ben Howard - Nica Libres At Dusk Elton John - Bennie and the Jets Elton John - Don't Go Breaking My Heart (with Kiki Dee) David Bowie - Life On Mars? Elton John - Someone Saved My Life Tonight  St Vincent Breaks Down Her Most Iconic Songs Pharoahe Monch - Simon Says (instrumental) Death Valley Girls "Disaster (Is What We're After)" A Tribe Called Quest - Electric Relaxation Tame Impala - The Less I Know The Better Childish Gambino - Redbone De La Soul - A Roller Skating Jam Named Saturdays Choir! Choir! Choir! Sings David Bowie - Heroes Kishi Bashi - This Must Be the Place (Naive Melody) Talking Heads - This Must Be the Place (Naive Melody) The 6ths - You You You You You Squirrel Nut Zippers "Put A Lid On It" Joni Mitchell - Help Me Pat Metheny, Joni Mitchell, Jaco Pastorius, Michael Brecker - "Shadows And Light" Joni Mitchell - All I Want Joni Mitchell - Free Man In Paris Joni Mitchell - California Joni Mitchell - In France They Kiss On Main Street Joni Mitchell - Amelia Joni Mitchell - People’s Parties Joni Mitchell - For the Roses Joni Mitchell - The Hissing of Summer Lawns Joni Mitchell - Black Crow Joni Mitchell - Hejira Joni Mitchell - Coyote Joni Mitchell w/Peter Gabriel - My Secret Place Joni Mitchell - Down To You Joni Mitchell - Refuge of the Roads Joni Mitchell - Slouching Towards Bethlehem  Joni Mitchell - Shades of Scarlet Conquering Joni Mitchell - Cool Water (with Willie Nelson) Joni Mitchell - The Jungle Line Joni Mitchell - Song For Sharon Joni Mitchell - Cold Blue Steel and Sweet Fire Joni Mitchell - Night Ride Home Joni Mitchell - Taming the Tiger Joni Mitchell - Snakes & Ladders Joni Mitchell - Raised on Robbery Joni Mitchell - Jericho Joni Mitchell - Lakota Joni Mitchell - The Beat of Black Wings Joni Mitchell - You Turn Me On I’m A Radio (Live) The Delfonics - Ready or Not Here I Come Funkadelic - Maggot Brain Incredible Bongo Band - Apache The Stylistics - People Make The World Go Round Manual - Crockett’s Theme Jessica Pratt - This Time Around Jessica Pratt - Poly Blue Jessica Pratt - Baby, Back Jessica Pratt - Aeroplane Tony Allen - Stick Around Basia - Promises Basia - New Day For You Basia - Cruising For Bruising Basia - Drunk On Love Basia - Third Time Lucky America - Tin Man Weyes Blood - Andromeda Ladytron - Far From Home Ladytron - Deadzone Ladytron - The Island St. Vincent & Dua Lipa | Masseduction / One Kiss | 2019 GRAMMYs Janelle Monáe - Make Me Feel (LIVE at the 61st GRAMMYs) Still Corners - The Trip Still Corners - Strange Pleasures FM-84 - Bend & Break Robyn - Send To Robin Immediately The Ultimate Kate Bush Experience - Shambush Kate Bush - Wuthering Heights Kate Bush - Running Up That Hill Kate Bush - Hounds of Love [Full Album] Kate Bush - Babooshka Kate Bush - The Sensual World Kate Bush - Hammer Horror Kate Bush - Love and Anger Katie Lee - Stay as Sick as You Are America - You Can Do Magic Blonde Redhead - Magic Mountain Harry Nilsson - Gotta Get Up In These Streets Lorelle Meets the Obsolete - Unificado Sneaks - Ecstasy Linear Movement - Way Out Of Living Alex Lilly - Pornographic Mind Caribou - Melody Day (Four Tet Remix feat. Luke Lalonde Adem and One Little Plane) Def Leppard - Hysteria Sigrid - Sight of You The Charlie Steinmann Orchestra And Singers - It's Such a Good Night (Scoobidoo Love) Alice Coltrane - Blue Nile Les McCann - Roberta Pharoah Sanders - Astral Travelling  Pure Bathing Culture - Scotty Jamila Woods - EARTHA Patricia Barber - Too Rich For My Blood Mary Jane Girls - All Night Long LL Cool J - Around the Way Girl Keep Shelly In Athens - Bendable Absolute Jest: I. Beginning · John Adams · San Francisco Symphony · St. Lawrence String Quartet · Michael Tilson Thomas Tears For Fears - Everybody Wants To Rule the World Futurecop! - Fade Away (feat. NINA) Steve Gunn - New Moon Moving Panoramas - ADD Heart Elizabeth Barraclough - Don’t TV Me Klymaxx - Meeting In the Ladies Room Salt Cathedral - Go and Get It feat. Big Freedia & Jarina DeMarco Brian Eno - Ambient 1: Music for Airports [Full Album] Calexico and Iron & Wine - Midnight Sun Cate Le Bon - The Light Cate Le Bon - Daylight Matters Jack White at Château de Fontainebleau I A Take Away Show Tammy Wynette - Your Good Girl’s Gonna Go Bad Stella Donnelly - Die Portishead - Sour Times Portishead at Roseland New York City Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Cheated Hearts Warpaint - Disco//Very - Keep It Healthy  Jessica Pratt - Fare Thee Well Jessica Pratt - Here My Love Alvvays - Saved By A Waif Alvvays - Dreams Tonite Alvvays - Forget About Life Alvvays - Plimsoll Punks Tame Impala - Patience Godzilla: Old Rivals - Bear McCreary( Godzilla: King of Monsters Soundtrack) Alloy Tracks - Somewhere Over the Rainbow | Godzilla: King of the Monsters (Beautiful Trailer Theme) Girl Crisis - The Sign Siouxsie and the Banshees - Captain Scarlet Boards of Canada - Macquarie Ridge Tōth - Practice Magic And Seek Professional Help When Necessary (Full Album) Wyatt - Attention Fontaines D.C. - Hurricane Laughter (Darklands Version) Matthew and the Atlas - Counting Paths Matthew and the Atlas - Old Ceremony Sufjan Stevens - Love Yourself Computer Magic - Hudson Grizzly Bear - Mourning Sound Lana Del Rey - Doin Time Chastity Belt - Trapped Kero Kero Bonito - Make Believe Eberhard Weber - T. On A White Horse Endre Hegedus - VI. Golliwogg's Cake-Walk, Debussy: Children's Corner / Suite Bergamasque LCD Soundsystem - oh baby Dominique Young Unique - Throw It Down Leikeli47 - Money Santigold - Look At These Hoes Handsome Boy Modeling School - Holy Calamity (Bear Witness II) Perfume Genius - Slip Away DJ Shadow - "Nobody Speak" feat. Run The Jewels St. Vincent - Fast Slow Disco Marion Cotillard and Metronomy - Is She Really Going Out With Him Patti Smith - Gloria King Princess - Cheap Queen Ingrid Michaelson - Best Friend Kindness - Hard To Believe Kim Petras - Clarity Kim Petras - Another One Cowboy Junkies - Dreaming My Dreams With You Rihanna - Same Ol’ Mistakes Screaming Trees - Nearly Lost You Sailors of Neptune - Car Song Photay - Outré Lux (feat. Madison McFerrin) Ella Fitzgerald - I’ll Never Be The Same Timecop1983 - My First Crush (feat. Trevor Something) Toro Y Moi - Cola The Cinematic Orchestra - Wait For Now/Leave The World (feat. Tawiah) Charli XCX & Christine and the Queens - Gone Hayley Kiyoko - I Wish Jambalaya Brass Band - Tumbao Frosty and the Diamonds - Destination Mars Plumb - Blush (Only You) Evanescence - Anywhere Courtney Barnett - Avant Gardener Christine and the Queens - Need You Tonight (INXS Cover) Dua Lipa - Be The One (80's Power Ballad Remix) Bomba Estéreo - Corazón Zola Jesus - Wiseblood (Johnny Jewel Remix) The Bangles - Going Down To Liverpool Trills - Hush King Princess - Prophet Emily Wells - I’m No Heroine Ariel Pink - Bubblegum Dreams Missy Elliott - Throw It Back Missy Elliott Performs 'Get Ur Freak On', 'Lose Control' & More | 2019 Video Music Awards Miranda Lambert - Way Too Pretty for Prison Miranda Lambert - The House That Built Me Miranda Lambert - We Should Be Friends Miranda Lambert - Mama’s Broken Heart Maya Hawke - To Love a Boy Flowers (Eurydice's Song) - (Anaïs Mitchell - Hadestown) Young Ejecta • Welcome To Love Kelis - Bossy ft. Too $hort Lindsay Lohan - Bossy Natalie Cole - Lush Life Grimes & i_o - Violence The Highwomen - Redesigning Women Lana Del Rey - Season Of The Witch Anita Carter - Ring of Fire Jack Hylton - Wedding of the Painted Doll Earth, Wind, and Fire - Fantasy DJ Boring - Winona DJ Boring - Goodbye Michael Rob Reich - Shimmytown Shuffle Sarah Vaughan - Spring Can Really Hang You Up The Most King Princess - Playboy School of Pop Broken Social Scene - Anthems For A Seventeen-Year Old Girl Jenny Hval - Lions (feat. Vivian Wang) Minny Riperton - Les Fleurs Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov ‒ Procession of the Nobles Firebird - 13. Infernal Dance Of All Of Kashchei's Subjects Kylie Minogue - Dancing Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin - All Hail Dracula! Jana Hunter | You Belong Here Bat For Lashes - The Hunger Bat For Lashes - Laura Zero 7 - Swimmers Tame Impala - It Might Be Time Hannah Williams & The Affirmations - Woman Got Soul Galantis & Dolly Parton - Faith feat. Mr. Probz The KLF - 3am Eternal The KLF feat. Tammy Wynette - Justified & Ancient Pet Shop Boys - What Have I Done To Deserve This Pet Shop Boys - Always On My Mind Pet Shop Boys - West End Girls Til Tuesday - Voices Carry St. Vincent - Laughing With A Mouth of Blood Spice Girls - 2 Become 1 Tennis - Runner Giles Reaves - ‎"Sowelu (Wholeness)" Taeko Ohnuki - Sunshower (Full Album) 80s Japanese Fusion Summer Mix (Fusion Jazz, City Pop, Funk, Soul...) Tamaryn - Dreaming The Dark (Full Album) Swing Out Sister - Breakout Ayane Yamazaki - 眠りの理由 "Women Of Country Performance" | Live from CMA Awards 2019 Reba McEntire - "Fancy" | Live from CMA Awards 2019 Seal - Crazy Seal - Violet Tame Impala - Posthumous Forgiveness Richard Wagner - The Flight of the Valkyries The Black Angels - Yellow Elevator #2 Bonnie Raitt - Unnecessarily Mercenary Norah Jones - Flipside Genesis Owusu - WUTD Lana Del Rey - Mariners Apartment Complex 10,000 Hz Legend - Don’t Be Light Air Miami - See Through Plastic Kitchens Of Distinction - Margaret's Injection Sebastian Böhm - Blue Monday (Official "Wonder Woman 1984" Trailer Music) Primitons - All My Friends Heavens To Betsy – Waitress Hell Romania - Planes Dionne Farris - I Know CeCe Peniston - Finally Robin S - Show Me Love La Bouche - Be My Lover Stilz - Wavelength Tennis - Need Your Love The Fixx - One Thing Leads To Another The Fixx - Saved By Zero The Fixx - Red Skies The Fixx - Stand Or Fall Kajagoogoo - Too Shy Nik Kershaw - Wouldn't It Be Good Howard Jones - Like To Get To Know You Well Jane Child - Don't Wanna Fall In Love Information Society - What’s On Your Mind (Pure Energy) Icehouse - No Promises The Spiral Starecase - More Today Than Yesterday Caroline Rose - Feel The Way I Want Frank & His Sisters - Mwanangu Lala KIRLIAN CAMERA - Blue Room Look Blue Go Purple | Cactus Cat Look Blue Go Purple | Circumspect Penelope Look Blue Go Purple - I Don't Want You Anyway The Bats | North By North Best Coast - Everything Has Changed Best Coast  - For The First Time War And Peace / Gab Is Stabbed · Joseph LoDuca Tashaki Miyaki - I Only Have Eyes for You (the Flamingos cover - Little Big Planet 3 OST) Angel Olsen - Who’s Sorry Now Anna Calvi - Love of my life | Empty Space #5 The Flamingos - I Only Have Eyes For You Supergrass - Moving Supergrass - Late In the Day Supergrass - Richard III Panda Bear - Sequential Circuits Computer Magic - Be Fair Computer Magic - Fuzz Computer Magic - Spaces The Amazing - Tell Them You Can’t Leave Anna Calvi - Hunter Anna Calvi - Swimming Pool Carly Simon - Nobody Does It Better Duran Duran - Rio Duran Duran - Save A Prayer Duran Duran - My Own Way Anna Calvi - Eden Anna Calvi - Indies or Paradise She & Him - I Can Hear Music Soloist Mari Silje Samuelsen - Antonio Vivaldi - "Summer" from four seasons Vivaldi Four Seasons: "Winter" (L'Inverno), complete; Cynthia Freivogel, Voices of Music  Para One · Arthur Simonini-La Jeune Fille en Feu (Bande originale du film) Agnes Obel - The Curse (Berlin Live Session) St. Vincent - Los Ageless Billie Ellish - No Time To Die King Princess - Hit The Back (Dance Video) Men I Trust - Show Me How Lady Gaga - Stupid Love Agnes Obel - Fuel To Fire Beach House - Space Song Sufjan Stevens - Visions of Gideon Agnes Obel - Broken Sleep snarls - Walk In the Woods Dixie Chicks - Not Ready to Make Nice (Live from MMXVI Tour) Dixie Chicks - Gaslighter Conspiracy of Owls - "Ancient Robots" Conspiracy of Owls - A Silver Song Sigrid - Home To You Tierra Whack – Unemployed Jenny Hval - Accident Caroline Polachek - So Hot You're Hurting My Feelings