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#anyway hashtag sasha deserved better
mimi-croissant · 2 years
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Me with a cute art style trying to draw the blorbos from the eldritch horror podcast:
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Runaway Ride
Fandom: Never Have I Ever Pairing: Devi/Paxton Rating: T Word Count: 4889
Summary: Kamala gets herself into a pickle, Devi needs to go to her, and Paxton has a car. Problem-solving has never been so simple, but that's how it is when your new boyfriend is Paxton Hall-Yoshida. Throw in a little hand-holding on the highway and this family crisis might just be the best date Devi will ever have.
When they finally took a break from dancing—disconnecting hands from hips and shoulders, lips from lips—Devi stepped away in a dreamy headspace. She almost collided with Jonah, but he didn’t tell her to look where she was going, only offered a shrewd, indulgent smile.
Actually, everybody was treating her like that; every eye that caught hers on her way to the table where she’d left her stuff was unjudgmental, admiring, straight up fairy-godmotherly. Devi hadn’t received this much notice since her dad’s death and her subsequent paralysis. And those looks had been pitying, freaked out. Positive attention was new and cool and she wondered, as she grabbed her phone out of her turquoise clutch, whether her socials would show more of the same when she opened them. Would people have snapped stealthy pics of her and Paxton dancing now that she’d been vaulted into the pseudo-celebrity strata of the high school hierarchy? Would the Insta posts be captioned with hashtags of their ship name? Paxi? Daxton? Vishwall-Yoshumar?
Devi never got to check.
Unlocking her phone, she found two missed calls from her mother. Maybe two wouldn’t have seemed like a whole lot to someone else, but Devi knew that, in order for her mom to risk rudeness by stepping away from the company she was hosting at home not once but twice, she’d need to be pretty frantic. Two missed calls from Nalini Vishwakumar were the equivalent of six or seven from any other mother.
Skirting the edges of the gym as she headed away from DJ Humanoid—that nit-witted saboteur of slow dances—Devi was about to call her mom back when her screen changed to an incoming call from Kamala. She pressed her other hand to her ear and answered it.
“Hey. Do you know what’s going on with my mom? She called me twice and, honestly, she knows I’m at the d—”
“Devi, shut up. Sorry,” Kamala sighed. “But I may have kidnapped your history teacher and now I’m panicking a little.”
Devi stopped in her tracks.
“You did what? Why is the sound weird?”
As she was trying to identify the background noise coming from Kamala’s end, her eyes swept over the crowd of her classmates and landed on Fabiola’s. Her friend had been smiling, mid-sway as she held Eve from behind and chatted with Sasha, but it fell off her face like Devi off Dr. Jackson’s roof. Fab disentangled herself from her girlfriend and crossed the room to stand with Devi. She was frowning, silently asking for an explanation for Devi’s distress, but Devi didn’t really have one yet.
“We’re in his car on the highway,” her cousin was saying. “He was a little drunk, so I’m driving.”
Devi had imagined that Kamala was exaggerating, but no, this was really starting to sound like a kidnapping.
“You better be on hands-free right now,” she lectured. Then, because she wasn’t exactly a paragon of road safety herself—barely an hour ago, she’d walked right out in front of Paxton’s jeep—didn’t wait for confirmation. “What the hell happened? Context, Kamala!”
“Well, as soon as I snuck out of the house—”
“But why did you sneak out?!”
“Devi, I can’t talk about that right now!” Devi’s eyebrows shot up at the clear and abnormal hysteria in her cousin’s voice. “I ran out of the house,” Kamala continued, “totally directionless, and the first thing that popped into my head was Manish’s invitation for me to come to karaoke…”
“Ew, what the fuck, don’t call Mr. K that.”
What? Fab mouthed at her, but Devi shook her head.
“That is his name and what he asked me to call him. Anyway,” Kamala said, sounding strained, “I went to your school and met up with him and now I’m driving his car and I think I might have shut my sari in the car door, but I’m scared to pull over and check because if I stop the car, I’m going to have to confront things and I think I’d rather not do that yet.”
“Kamala,” Devi said in a heavy, careful voice. “You have to pull over. I totally get what you’re saying because it sounds like something I might do—minus the part where you kidnapped Mr. K—” Fabiola’s eyes went dramatically wide as she was adjusting her tiara. “—but this isn’t you. You don’t run away from your obligations and elope with my teachers!”
“Manish and I didn’t elope. It isn’t in any way romantic.”
“For sure though? It’s not?” Devi heard another voice in the car ask.
“Mr. K, back off! Kamala’s in the middle of a crisis!” she shouted. “And please be drunk enough to forget that I yelled at you.”
“Devi, what should I do?” Kamala asked, sounding desperate in a sad way now.
“Where are you?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Ok, well, which direction are you heading in?”
“Um, either north or south.”
“You’re a disaster,” Devi muttered.
“What was that?”
“Uh… I said, don’t drive any faster. Try to read the next sign you pass so you can tell me where you are.”
“Alright,” Kamala said.
Devi tilted her phone away from her mouth so her cousin wouldn’t hear her frustrated sigh. She locked eyes with Fabiola.
“Kamala panicked at her engagement dinner and ran off with Mr. K. They’re either headed for Mexico or Canada, but I’ll know more in a minute.”
Fab blinked.
“Wow.”
“I know. It’s a lot. And this is me talking,” Devi emphasized.
“I don’t know if you would do anything this big. Mainly because you don’t have a driver’s license.”
“True.”
“Santa Barbara in twenty-six miles,” Kamala said in her ear.
“Damn, you made good time.”
“The traffic was quite manageable.”
“Try to calm down a little and get off the highway when you can. Don’t go past Santa Barbara. I’m coming to talk you down in person,” Devi said. “Oh, and don’t answer any of my mom’s calls; she’ll just stress you out.”
“That doesn’t seem very responsible. How about I send her a text when I stop to let her know I’m ok?”
Devi rolled her eyes.
“Suit yourself.”
“Thank you, Devi. But how will you get here?”
“Let me worry about that. Text me when you stop so I know exactly where I’m going.”
“I will.”
“’K. I’ll see you in a bit.”
Devi hung up and sighed massively, slumping into the wall and feeling a streamer crumple against her back. She and Fabiola stared at each other.
“What are you gonna do?” Fab asked.
“Be the hero my family needs, but not the one they deserve.”
“Are you misquoting Batman to justify doing something reckless?”
“First of all, rescuing Kamala isn’t reckless, and second of all, the movie isn’t called Batman, it’s The Dark Knight. Young-ish Christian Bale, hello.”
Fabiola pointed a finger at her own face.
“Young-ish out-of-touch lesbian, hello. At least I was close.”
Devi sighed again while Fab smiled sadly at her in obvious sympathy.
“It’s after ten at night. How am I gonna get to Santa Barbara?”
“Assuming you’re not going to ask your mom—”
“No.”
“Then you need a ride.”
“You need a ride? I’ll drive you.”
It was Paxton, walking up and tentatively taking Devi’s hand while darting uncertain glances at Fabiola. Devi felt her entire face light up.
“You don’t want to know where or why?” she teased.
His expression said those were insignificant details. Wow. Devi’d never had a fantasy where Paxton joined forces with her, bounty hunter-style, to track down a flighty Kamala, but this felt oddly romantic. Passionate even? They’d see where the night took them.
“You wouldn’t wanna leave the dance unless it was serious,” Paxton reasoned. “So, I’ll drive you. You wanna go now?”
“I guess we better. Lemme just grab my…”
“I’ll get it,” Fab said, raising a hand like the nerd she was as she volunteered.
She darted back through the dancers to grab Devi’s things and Devi watched their classmates part for their Cricket Queen. She was so proud of Fab. Also, she felt kinda bad for ditching such a momentous occasion. But Kamala needed her, and would totally do the same for her if she ever went off the deep end and kidnapped a dude while fleeing a proposal. Not that Devi could see herself fleeing a proposal (she glanced at Paxton as she thought this, then quickly away, thinking, Way too soon!). Carrying out a kidnapping? With a sufficiently convincing pro-and-con list, anything was possible.
“Basically, Kamala freaked and drove to Santa Barbara with a drunken Mr. K,” Devi said, because Paxton might not have asked to be informed, but she wanted him to know what he was getting himself into. Beyond that, she wanted to give him the chance to say, No way, Devi. I came here to look hot and dance up on you, nothing more.
“Oh shit,” was what he said.
“Damn right, oh shit. You still want to drive? This is going to take a while.”
She should probably have felt guilty about trying to subtly persuade him with her eyes, but not only was Paxton the least complicated option, he was also her first choice. If she maintained eye contact long enough, Devi figured it might trigger some kind of boyfriend override that made going for a long drive at night just as appealing as staying here and dancing with her butt pressed thrillingly to his groin when the teacher-chaperones weren’t looking.
“As long as we can hit up the bathrooms first. I was going to, but then I got talking to Trent, and then Marcus was doing a handstand…”
“Definitely,” Devi assured him. “Good call. Empty the tank. Oh, actually, that reminds me… how much gas do you have in your jeep? If we need to stop at a gas station, I’ll have to factor that in to the ETA I give Kamala.”
Paxton shook his head at her, smiling in what she liked to think was affectionate amusement.
“I filled it up on the way here. I needed a minute to, uh…” To her epic astonishment, he ducked his head self-consciously, cheeks pinking. “You know. Get my shit together. Up here.” He tapped his temple with his index finger. “I wanted to show up for you, like, completely. You know?”
Right as Devi was at dangerously high risk of sagging to the floor in blissful bonelessness, Fabiola sprang to her side, shoving the rest of her possessions at her.
“Ok, ok!” Devi said, harried.
She had to dump it all on the bathroom counter a minute later anyway, but after she’d done her pre-road trip pee, she came out and gave Fab a better thank-you.
“Your Highness,” Paxton told Fabiola with a nod.
Fab nodded back, smiling wryly.
“Prosecutor.”
“I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship,” Devi assessed, “but we gotta go! Say congrats to Eve for me again!”
“Sure. Drive safe!”
Devi and Paxton pushed through the doors together, striding quickly with his hand wrapped around hers. In the parking lot, she glanced sideways to see him digging his keychain out of his front pocket.
“Oh,” she said, “so I wasn’t just feeling that you were very happy to dance with me.”
Until they got into the jeep, it was too dark to see whether she’d gotten him to blush again, but she liked to think that she had. He was definitely smiling.
They got in and Devi carefully tucked her skirt around her legs, mind on Kamala’s cautionary tale. At least it was until Paxton leaned forward to shrug out of his jacket and she saw his shoulder muscles jump beneath his fitted button-down, his narrow black tie swinging forward. Dang. Fifty shades of Hall-Yoshida.
“Santa Barbara?” Paxton double-checked once he was settled behind the wheel, steering out of the student lot.
“Santa Barbara.”
Until they were on the highway and heading out of Los Angeles, Devi did her best to keep her worry about Kamala’s situation contained to the way she flapped her phone against her thigh. Usually, she was stressing about the problems right in front of her (when she wasn’t blatantly ignoring them, only to have that approach bite her in the ass later), but with whatever was going on with Kamala, she kinda had to look ahead.
Had she wanted Kamala to get engaged to Prashant that badly? Well, the best thing about Prashant was that you never knew when having additional hot relatives would be to your benefit. (Devi was already hoping that Mr. K would get over the more nerve-wracking elements of this night and just remember having fun with her stunning cousin… and that this could possibly translate into at least a month of generous grades, if she could somehow spin these shenanigans as an intentional blind date arranged by herself.) However, an engaged Kamala was wholly different from a married Kamala. She wouldn’t be around to watch nonsensical episodes of Riverdale, or be duped into hijinks, or listen to Devi when her mom was too tired, or bitch about her shitty lab-mates in exchange for sitting through Devi bitching about her complicated feelings on the subject of Aneesa dating her ex. She wouldn’t live with them anymore, and the family that had begun to miraculously fill out after her dad had died would be back down to three. And the other two members of it would be old (Sorry, Mom, she thought) and not at all prepared to champion her dating life or the cleavage-accentuating formal dress currently buoying it.
So, yeah, Devi was looking ahead—eyes glazed over as the yellow lights of cars slipped around them to prevent her vision from fully adjusting to the blue-black sky—and feeling more than a little nervous and scared of the Kamala-shaped hole she’d have in her life if her dazzling, dorky cousin left her house for one she might eventually fill with the most beautiful children the world had ever seen.
Thankfully, Paxton was there. It startled her when he took one hand off the wheel and felt across her lap to grab hers, loosely interlacing their fingers. Devi quit hitting her phone against her leg. She sent off their updated location to Kamala and then let her phone fall flat.
“Did she say where she was?” Her boyfriend’s voice was quiet in the car and she realized for the first time that her head had been too crammed with thoughts to put on any music.
“Carpinteria State Beach. Do you know the exit?”
“We’ll find it.”
“And if you want me to drive while you rest on the way back…”
Paxton laughed.
“No way. Safety first.”
“Says the guy driving one-handed,” Devi countered, not that she was eager to surrender the hand warming hers.
He turned his head just long enough to shoot her a look.
“Whoa, pal, eyes on the road!” she said. (She had a half-baked plan to call her boyfriend ‘pal’ a few times and thereby de-weaponize the word in a memory that still felt like a fading bruise, an almost-gone sore spot in who she and Paxton were before they were openly a them.)
“Sorry,” he said, staring out the windshield again. He grinned. “You look gorgeous.”
“Really?”
“So gorgeous.” Paxton’s voice was softer this time, the underlying laugh it had carried since she’d offered to drive his jeep drained out of it. It was nearly a sigh.
“Thanks. So do you.”
“You know, I feel fucking awful for hitting you with my car, but I still think I mighta felt worse if I’d walked in and seen you dancing with somebody else.”
Devi twisted their hands, touching the back of his to her thigh so she was sandwiching it between leg and palm for a moment, aiming for reassuring.
“I wanna say I would never be that flaky, but my previous offenses speak for themselves.”
“So does doing this with me.”
“Uh,” she droned, “to recap, you left a fun thing to do a huge favour for me. You’re talking about it like this is my act of redemption. I feel like if you examine it for a sec, you’ll see how I’m actually kind of a dick for accepting your help.”
“I want us to be together,” he said bluntly. “Here we are. Together.”
“It’s that simple?”
“I don’t see why it can’t be.”
“Huh. I think you’re really gonna be good for my tendency to overcomplicate a situation.”
Paxton laughed and unthreaded his fingers from Devi’s. But it wasn’t to release her for pointing out that this date was, in actual fact, the coordinated response to a family crisis; his fingertips moved lightly over her palm, momentarily trapped when her fingers flinched inward in reaction to how it tickled, then traced along the thin skin of her inner wrist. He wasn’t trying to pull away. He was lingering. Though his touch when he sunk his hand into her hair or drew her closer by her waist had always been fairly gentle, it had often had the faint aggression of hastiness to it, clutching her as they made out in her room, always listening for footsteps in the hallway. How Paxton touched her now was pure, exploratory tenderness. It made the hairs on the back of Devi’s neck stand up as a wave of shivers rushed up her spine and crested somewhere around the nape of her neck.
He must’ve felt that wave break, the foamy aftereffects in some tic of her arm or quickening of her pulse while his fingers skimmed gradually up the inside of her arm towards her elbow, because he chanced another quick glance at her.
“That feels good,” she explained.
Paxton looked forward, nodding slowly, and shifted in the driver’s seat.
“Good.”
She thought it must have felt good for him too, knowing he’d made her shiver.
The miles were flicking past for Paxton—another, another, another, as fast and steady as the dashed lines painted between the lanes, his arms cutting the water on the front crawl. He wanted Devi, beside him, to believe that he was paying attention to his driving, but he was honestly kinda zoned out. Like that time he’d swum to San Diego, he let his body go through the motions (in this case, twitching the wheel, putting on cruise control when traffic thinned so he didn’t have to focus on the pedals) while his mind floated freely.
Where it floated was to his girlfriend.
At ten years old, he’d been the last kid in his swim class to jump off the 10m board. It was optional—a treat after getting water up their noses turning somersaults below the surface and doing egg-beater legs in between—but all the other boys in the group had done it eagerly, shrieking on their way down to sloppy pencil dives. Paxton had climbed the stairs all the way to the top easily enough, even stepped onto the wide platform, bordered by metal railings and rough under his bare feet. He’d walked out to the end and frozen to find himself so high above the pool.
He hadn’t feared the water, he’d feared the air. Being so exposed on his own at the end of the diving board. Eventually, he’d retreated, then surprised the coach waiting down at the poolside by turning around and taking the jump at a run. Few memories felt as good as the sensation of giving himself back to gravity and letting it reunite him with the water. He’d just had to get past the exposure.
Same thing tonight, going to find Devi at the dance. Holding her hand in his had been him reaching the platform, but when they stood together, just inside the school’s doors, Paxton hadn’t known for sure whether he would take the leap or retreat. And not just for a running start this time, but in a way that turned his sixteen-year-old present self back into one of those nervous ten-year-olds who wimped out and had to take the coward’s way down—descending each step they’d climbed. He might not have run, and yet he hadn’t needed to back up and race into their relationship either. Momentum hadn’t carried them inside for everyone they knew to see them. It had been a calm approach, even if he’d been shaking on the inside when he saw Trent staring at them.
So maybe Paxton had learned something in the last six years, or maybe it was harder to feel exposed with somebody right next to you.
She really did look gorgeous, like he’d said, and because he didn’t want her to worry about his focus if she spotted him gazing at the side of her face while she texted her cousin, the glances he stole were of the knee region. Her dress’s overlay sparkled when the high lights of eighteen-wheelers passed them and the specific teal of the dress itself reminded him of a river he’d swum in once during an out-of-state family vacation. Natural and deep and fresh, and exasperating for his parents because he’d accidentally doggy-paddled himself all the way to a small waterfall and hadn’t heard them calling him back for dinner around the campfire. He felt all that about Devi, except for hoping for a different reaction from his parents when they met her.
Holy shit. He was going to have to introduce his girlfriend to his embarrassing hippy parents. But then, she’d already met Rebecca, so maybe they were set? A sister’s approval should count for a ton.
No, no, no, Devi would have to meet his parents. He was doing this. The two of them were doing this. Paxton exhaled determinedly through his nose and made himself concentrate on the remaining miles he needed to cover. His mind, anyway. His hand continued to stroke and search, covering his girlfriend’s hand with his until he had her fingers tucked away protectively under his own, and then caressing all the way up to the crook of her elbow so suddenly that she made a noise between a laugh and a yelp because he’d unintentionally tickled her. Man, she was cute.
The very end of their journey required the most concentration from Paxton; he finally took back his hand to have both on the wheel as he steered them off the highway and Devi’s got lonely or something, because it chased across to where he was sitting and landed on his thigh. His jaw clenched. He could feel the heat of her palm through his pantleg and congratulated himself on being a driving legend for driving smoothly to where they needed to park for beach access.
Devi had a pink sweater that she put on, but Paxton grabbed his jacket out of the back as well in case she needed it. It was almost midnight and a breeze rolled up off the water, rippling his tie and swishing Devi’s dress. He didn’t have to ask what they should do next—there was just one other car parked nearby and Devi’s cousin was already standing outside of it, raising a hand to wave sheepishly as they got out of his jeep.
“Here,” he said, holding out his jacket for his girlfriend to put her arms through the sleeves. “You guys talk. I’ll be down at the beach.”
Devi turned her back to him as she accepted the jacket, but she glanced over her shoulder with a look of concern.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. You’ll want privacy. I need to stretch my legs anyway.”
“Just don’t swim away, ok?” she requested. “I don’t think I can handle more than one rescue mission per night.”
Paxton could tell by her expression that it wasn’t entirely a joke. He grinned and gripped his lapels, now on Devi, reeling her in.
“I promise. You’d probably take the opportunity to try to drive the jeep home, and I don’t want to risk that.”
“Me committing grand theft auto or me getting hurt?”
“I bet they tested you for smartness,” he said, “but you think they have a test for being a smartass? You’d score high, Vishwakumar.”
“I know, I know, you don’t want me to get hurt.”
She was so infuriatingly flippant, rolling her big brown eyes at him.
“That’s right,” Paxton said plainly. There he was, up on the platform again.
Devi straightened his tie and let her hand rest flat on his chest. He remembered how overwhelmed she’d looked the first time he’d placed her palm there, right on his skin. Even now, it almost made him laugh.
“Ok,” she said, and he was surrendering himself to the sweet strength of gravity, propelled down to the beach while Devi stayed to talk to Kamala.
Devi had heard that there were tidepools here, and she was nervous about stepping into one and spearing some aquatic animal on her high heel. Well, she couldn’t magically improve her night vision, but she could take her shoes off and remove the possibility of impalement. They dangled from her fingers as she picked her way down to the beach.
Her boyfriend was sitting in the sand, staring out at the ocean. It just looked so romantic—with the stars the sky was too bright to see at home, and the waves, and the back of Paxton’s white shirt in the moonlight—that Devi decided to slip into the scene without saying anything at all.
A mistake. Paxton gasped and jumped. Apparently, he hadn’t heard her over the noise of the water.
“Sorry, sorry!” she said.
He sighed and smiled, getting to his feet.
“How’d it go?”
“I think it went well. She was feeling calm enough to drive, so she’s on her way home now. She’s gonna cover for me until we get back.”
“That’s good… but what about Mr. Kulkarni?”
“He was passed out in the passenger’s seat,” Devi stated. “I guess he’s kind of a lightweight? Kamala said she’s going to drive back to our school and leave him and his car in the parking lot. She’s planning to call my mom for a ride home. If it were me, I think I’d take the bus and try to sneak back into the house as quietly as possible, but Kamala still has a lot to learn about how to thoroughly dodge your problems.”
“And maybe about how to climb to the second floor of your house from the outside?” Paxton suggested with a meaningful smirk.
She did her best to return it, but the odds were that it didn’t look nearly as sexy on her. Then again, she had moonlight and midnight and well-displayed cleavage on her side.
“How’d you learn to do that so quietly anyway?” Devi asked, tossing her shoes to the sand and stepping forward to boldly wrap her arms around Paxton’s waist.
He’d had his hands in his pockets, but as soon as she’d begun to move towards him, he’d pulled them out. His arms encircled her, his hands on the back of his own black jacket. Although Devi wanted to offer him the jacket back—he felt slightly chilly through his shirt—she didn’t want the two of them to separate. Besides, body heat was a thing. This was practically what it was for. So Devi just pressed herself closer, breathing the scent of the ocean and Paxton’s fading cologne.
“Trent,” he said.
“Yeah, actually, that checks out.”
Were there boundaries between warming someone up while having a conversation and just hugging them? It wasn’t clear to Devi, but it felt good when they both went quiet for a while. She stood unevenly on the cold sand and listened to the thud of Paxton’s heart.
“You never said yes,” he said eventually, quietly.
“Yes to what?”
“I told you I came to the dance as your boyfriend and you never actually agreed to be my girlfriend. We kinda just started making out.”
Devi lifted her cheek from his chest so she could look at him. He didn’t appear disappointed, more like he was making an observation. Maybe he’d been reflecting, out here in the dark, while she and Kamala had talked.
“In my books, that’s an obvious yes,” she said, grinning. “What more do you need?”
She could see him trying not to smile.
“A little atmosphere would be nice,” Paxton said. “Maybe a long drive, or the beach. A full moon. Romance me, Vishwakumar.”
Devi vibrated with silent laughter. Or her heart was just beating really, really freaking hard.
“Sounds like you’ve got some pretty big expectations there.”
“And stars,” he added. “There should be a shitload of stars.”
With that, he took one hand off her back to point far above them. Devi tipped her head back, the light of the stars a friendly blur as she tried to pick one to settle on, just one. Paxton’s face coming forward to hover over hers blotted them out. Her boyfriend kissed her, light and ghosting and then firm and slow.
“On the other hand,” he said, pulling back a little, “I think we were onto something with the making out.”
Devi smiled and dug her toes into the sand to make herself taller, lips at the ready and realigned with his.
“We did set a precedent.”
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snowlessknitter · 5 years
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Evolution vs. Crown Jewel
So, I got a chance to watch both WWE Evolution and Crown Jewel this week. Evolution I watched, or tried to watch, on Monday because I was watching the Red Sox clinch the World Series on Sunday night; I kept falling asleep a few times while watching Evolution, but I still managed to catch the overall flow of the show. Crown Jewel I was able to watch live, although with reservations (due to the ongoing controversy over the Saudi regime’s connection to the murder of journalist Jamal Khashoggi). It wasn’t the controversy that really messed up the Crown Jewel event, though...it was a disaster of WWE’s own making, and I think the sooner they distance themselves from it, the better.
First...Evolution.
Evolution is not the first all-women’s wrestling event...of course, the original G.L.O.W. promotion led the way for women’s wrestling and there are many all-women’s wrestling promotions out there, but it is the first all-women’s event put on by a major American promotion (the other two being TNA/Impact and Ring of Honor) that I am aware of (please clear me up on this if I’m wrong), and largely thanks to Triple H (who has been a driving force behind the scenes in how WWE has been hiring women wrestlers since 2012, when he took over as Head of Talent Relations from John Laurinaitis), WWE has seen a shift not just in how women wrestlers are hired, but also how they’re trained, portrayed, and booked. It worked its way up from NXT, and eventually after the hashtag “GiveDivasAChance” became a major trending topic, it finally worked its way onto the main roster, as the women who had made marquee-worthy matches in NXT were called up: Charlotte Flair, Becky Lynch, Sasha Banks, Bayley. As they, along with established favorites like Natalya and Mickie James and newcomers like Asuka and Ember Moon have put on quality matches since the Divas label was dropped and they’ve been given more match time...and even the occasional main event on RAW and SmackDown. Just given the quality of the wrestlers participating, I knew Evolution was gonna turn out to be at least a good show, if not great.
The matches, for the most part, were pretty good, but the obvious standouts are the final two matches of the evening: Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte Flair in a Last Woman Standing match for the SmackDown Women’s Championship, and Ronda Rousey vs. Nikki Bella for the RAW Women’s Championship.
Becky and Charlotte put on a match that could be considered Match of the Year material. The most memorable moment may be when Lynch buried Flair under a pile of chairs and tables...and Flair still beat the ten-count! Eventually Lynch got the win after putting Flair through a table from the top rope. I tell you: Charlotte was already deserving of a spot in the WWE Hall of Fame (not because of her dad’s name, but because of her own skills and merits), but I think Becky may have just earned her spot as well. And you bet your bippy when both of these women get inducted someday, this match will definitely be part of their video packages.
Ronda Rousey keeps surprising me with how well she is progressing in her young career as a professional wrestler. She could’ve very easily turned into a female Brock Lesnar (who I realize went from wrestling to MMA, but still worth mentioning in connection to the two worlds...I have more to say on Lesnar later), but she has proven me wrong at every step. She’s taken her training very seriously, and has steadily improved since her debut. Her promo that she cut on The Bellas a few weeks ago hit all the marks and then some, and she’s shown she is capable of holding her own on the mic. The match was actually pretty good for involving The Bellas (who, like Mickie James and Natalya and Alicia Fox, are part of that bridge between the Divas Era and the Women’s Era), but the shining moment for me was when Rousey put both Bellas into a fireman’s carry and then Samoan dropped both Bellas. She eventually got Nikki to submit to the Armbar, and while the match wasn’t quite as great as the one that preceded it, it still made for a satisfying main event. Retrospectively, I would’ve switched the two matches around on the card.
Now, Crown Jewel...😬
As for Crown Jewel, the booking seemed ridiculous, especially Shane McMahon replacing The Miz in the World Cup Final for no reason at all other than to make sure SmackDown won. I know a heel vs. heel matchup is not the norm, but that match would’ve worked out better than the squash job Ziggler got from Shane O’Mac. I suspect a heel turn for Shane-O. The swerve seemed more fit for a soap opera, not a sports entertainment event, and I would’ve liked to have seen a more logical conclusion to the WWE World Cup than what we actually got.
We all know Shane McMahon is not “The Best in the World”. That honor goes to Chris Jericho, who is wrestling elsewhere right now.
I will give some kudos to WWE and the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia for allowing Renee Young to call the show alongside Michael Cole and Corey Graves, even if the move reeked of propaganda, although that was somewhat toned down compared to Greatest Royal Rumble.
The Universal title match was a universal let-down for no reason at all. I know Cena and Roman and The Rock made their careers with limited move sets, but Lesnar makes their limited move sets look they’re all The Man of 1004 Holds. (You can tell how much of a Chris Jericho fan I am here...he is one of my favorite wrestlers of all time.) You can only do so much with F5s and German suplexes before it gets boring. I’ve watched Lesnar wrestle for many years, and he’s never really managed to impress me, and I’m now finally seeing why. He’s got no substance as a character, is incredibly one-dimensional in both personality and move set, and it’s just extremely hard to get behind him as a fan. He doesn’t have much of anything for me to root for. Even Strowman, though his strongman character would suggest being one-dimensional, can actually speak for himself and can get a crowd to root for him, no matter his alignment. Lesnar, more than anything else, is frustrating as a wrestling character. I don’t watch MMA, and I imagine he’s good at what he does when he’s in the Octagon, but it doesn’t translate well into a wrestling character (and we saw to varying degrees of success how well that’s worked for Ken Shamrock and Ronda Rousey; Rousey is still developing as a wrestling character, but she’s shown steady improvement since her debut, both in the ring and on the mic).
The main event, though, with D-X vs. The Brothers of Destruction was a bright spot in an otherwise clusterbleep of a show (as was the match between AJ Styles and Samoa Joe, but they’ve worked together so long that their matches are usually good anyway). Especially Shawn Michaels, who held his own after being away from the ring for eight years. And having to cover for Triple H, who injured his pec during the match and was put through the announcers’ table to cover for it. That match would be the only one out of the entire show that I would watch again. Yes, The Undertaker is no spring chicken these days and his days of working long singles matches are likely over, but teaming him with Kane and making them heels was a fantastic move. D-X as a tag team work better as faces anyway.
I would totally watch Evolution again. Crown Jewel...not so much. Best to cut their losses and focus on Survivor Series.
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