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shachihata · 3 years

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ok so we're running with the philosophy of crime and punishment here about the "ordinary man" v. the "extraordinary man." essentially, in the novel, raskolnikov breaks down the world into two groups of people. firstly, there are the "ordinary" people, who don't have the ability to break the mold and create a world according to their own morals/philosophies/beliefs. they’re the direct opposite of "extraordinary" people, who have both the ability to think outside of the box and to break the mold, regardless of the human cost/sacrifice, therefore putting their own ideas into place and "paving the way" for a brighter future.

crucially, raskolnikov makes it clear that there are occasions where the "ordinary man," believing themselves to be "extraordinary," will take lives and commit moral injustices for the sake of pushing their own narrow-minded beliefs -- before being haunted by the guilt of their actions, eventually finding it necessary to confess, repent, and strive for redemption.

even more crucially, by the end of the novel, raskolnikov himself has watched his own theory crumble to the ground as he realizes that he was one of these "pretenders" -- and that, in reality, there are no "extraordinary men." he finds that morality is innate within a person, and repentance/redemption are inevitabilities once one has wronged others or their own innate sense of morality. to pretend that one is not human is to put yourself in a position higher than god himself.

what i'm getting at is that nikolai is the trope of the "ordinary man" and fyodor is the trope of the "extraordinary man" and both of them can and will be redeemed, which would absolutely fit into the existing themes of bsd as a whole. let's get it boys

first off, it’s really obvious imo that nikolai’s entire personality is essentially a mask. he wants to “break free” from the “birdcage” of human morality, but admits to feeling guilt whenever he tries to -- which is a vicious cycle that only leads him into more and more violence, as he tries harder and harder to break free from “ordinary” human morality and gain perfect control over himself and his emotions. he paradoxically recognizes himself as an “ordinary man,” and yet deludes himself into thinking that he can eventually be free if he “breaks through” his own humanity and becomes something “extraordinary” -- somebody devoid of human emotions, human guilt, and human morality.

in other words... yeah, that’s fyodor. fyodor seems to be the polar opposite of nikolai, where he’s admittedly trying to do something great: get rid of the world’s abilities. which doesn’t seem that great At First, but i mean, look at it from his perspective. his own ability only leads to death. he sees other ability users -- the port mafia/the armed detective agency’s constant fighting, shibusawa tatsuhiko, the whole doa -- seemingly only use their abilities for evil, causing further death and destruction to not only yokohama, but in shibusawa’s + fukuchi’s + potentially agatha christie’s case, the whole world. imo, to fyodor, shibusawa was the perfect amalgation of everything fyodor wanted to prove -- a singularity of a bunch of abilities wasn’t anything even close to perfect, it was nothing but a source of absolute destruction. q.e.d., all abilities are evil and ability users need to be saved from their own sins and fyodor thinks he’s the only bitch who can do it because he realizes the “crime” of his own sins and is now going out to actively “punish” for it. (see -- the scene in dead apple where he’s not attacked by his own ability because he accepts that he is both the “crime” and the “punishment.”)

this has allowed fyodor to take on the role of the “extraordinary man,” at least in theory. he has an original idea that he believes is going to make the world better. he is going out to fulfill it, no matter what the human cost is. nikolai idolizes this “extraordinary man” and is willing to go out and do anything to try to be like fyodor because fyodor, as somebody who is extraordinary, can then see through nikolai’s pretending for the “ordinary” person that he really is.

(then comes the “whoops! i’m emotionally attached to the god that i idolize! oh fuck, i have to kill him now to prove him... right? wrong? whichever one works!”)

see, the issue with fyodor’s entire philosophy is that he is only looking through the world through his own narrow-minded perspective. there are plenty of examples of characters who have “broken” through the “fundamental nature” of their own ability in order to seek redemption. just to name a few examples... kyouka accepting demon snow as a guardian and a part of her family, turning from being the port mafia’s pet assassin to a member of the ada. atsushi leashing the destructive nature of the tiger in order to save others, not allowing the trauma of his past to rule over him forever. dazai, turning away from being the leader of the port mafia in order to follow oda’s ideal of a “beautiful” world and find out what it really means to be “human.” in a sense, i would make the argument that this is the fundamental theme that runs throughout all of bungou stray dogs -- that you have to make the choice to be redeemed, you have to choose to use something that might be dangerous for the purpose of saving others. fyodor is doing this, but simultaneously entirely ignoring the fact that the entire ada is working towards the same goal -- in a different way, which allows them to accept who they are rather than being forced to lose a fundamental part of themselves. he’s caught up in his own idealization of fukuchi -- somebody who’s been betrayed so many times, he thinks that all the people of the world have to suffer before they are redeemed.

(look at that, that’s another theme from crime and punishment! raskolnikov had to suffer and struggle with the guilt of his own sins before he could resolve himself and make the decision to choose redemption, no matter what. but that’s a post for another time, lol)

imo, both fyodor and nikolai’s character arcs will inevitably lead them to redemption. they fit the roles of the “ordinary” and “extraordinary,” both of them trying to break out of their birdcages -- humanity, as a concept -- for the sake of proving a point to a world that they think is trying to control them. nikolai is trying to break through the invention of morality, fyodor is trying to attain a virtual “godhood” and a supposed moral superiority. both of them have to choose humanity in order to be saved. both of them have, subconsciously, realized the fundamental errors in their own thinking. nikolai realized that, in order to be truly free, he has to kill the only person who understands him and who he cares about -- he has to kill the literal personification of his ideals. fyodor has, multiple times, been thwarted by human emotion and, honestly, humanity as a whole -- he’s surprised by tachihara choosing to fight for his chosen family, he’s shocked that ranpo (somebody entirely human and, as dazai says, “the strongest man in the agency”) would choose to look through “kamui” and save the members of the ada.

it’s humanity -- the will to live and fight in the real world, experience real human emotions, and fight for sakunosuke’s “beautiful world” -- that allows atsushi to be both the “antithesis of ability users” but also become the world’s most wanted ability user. without humanity, abilities are inherently destructive (as in the example of shibusawa, who was devoid of humanity as a whole), but with it, redemption is always a choice that is available for you to make. it’s the realization and choice that both fyodor and nikolai are going to have to make, in the end, once their ideas and ideals inevitably crumble around them. bsd is about reconciling these "good" and "evil" parts inside of everybody -- and turning them into a unified whole that can then push on, continuing to save the people around them.

#ciphertexts #bungou stray dogs #bsd #bsd analysis #bsd meta #fake tvtropes analysis #there are some points in here that i have elaborated on in-depth in some other posts LOL but i trieddd my best to summarize them here #anyway. manifest fyodor dostoevsky chapter 91 sorry for dating this post but i HAVE to will him into existence

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library-with-tales · 4 years

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Bungou Stray Dogs Band AU that I spontaneously came up with like a second ago.

Based off the mobile game if you haven’t noticed. Someone probably already thought of this buuuuut I like my idea so here we go:

World setting

Port Mafia, Armed Detective Agency and The Guild are music agencies while the other smaller groups are just bands (haven’t read manga yet but I’m aware there are other groups). The Special-too-long-of-a-name people are the big boy cooperation (I am so uneducated with the music world why do I do this to myself).

Port Mafia are filled with talented people yes, but they have the habit of straining the music artists sometimes (this will be relevant in a bit) and are more focused on the monz. If you want a reference, their music are on the same level as your good ol’ big pop groups, the real famous on the radio ones.

Armed Detective Agency (in this case they’re called Armed Music Agency, yes they are still armed) is a smaller agency since they prioritize quality and feelings over quantity and catchiness, which makes them pretty indie tbh, They have songs that don’t particularly appear on the radio a lot, if not, not at all. Though they’re talented all the same.

The Guild are basically the equivalent to K-pop and J-pop, not quite famous in Yokohama, but definitely famous enough to go on tour there.

Atsushi’s arc

There were a few ideas for him (music school was in the draft but I dunked it faster than I pulled it up) but it boils down to one thing: Atsushi accidentally becomes a famous singer from an old video he made when he wasn’t fully into music yet. He, being the oblivious guy he is, suddenly starts gaining fans and is beyond confused yet appreciates it very much.

Though not sure why people are calling him the Beast below The Moonlight (Plot twist, you big stupidhead, that was the title of the old song you made). He goes along with it though, calling himself Moon Tiger, which is so him honestly.

Anyways it’s not Dazai if he doesn’t try to drown himself so while Atsushi’s vibing by the open canal he just sees him. Like canon, Atsushi saves Dazai. But the thing about Atsushi is; he’s camera shy and most of his videos have him covering his face and out of camera view, so Dazai doesn’t immediately recognize him as the famous youtube singer.

As thanks, Dazai treats Atsuhi to dinner with Kunikida, and Dazai has a hunch that Atsushi is Moon Tiger so they start a small convo about it. Atsushi’s all; “ERRRRMMMMMMM” and he wants to leave until:

“Y’know, whoever Moon Tiger is, I’d totally pay a lot of money to hear him sing.” Dazai hums. Kunikida kinda agrees to this, saying how talent like his shouldn’t come totally for free. Atsushi doesn’t ask for donations or get youtube money (because he dunno how :( ) so he’s almost flat broke, and this kinda perks his interest.

“Actually, uh, I kinda know Moon Tiger. I didn’t want to bring it up because I thought you’d ask for autographs or something ha ha. I agree with the paying part.” Atsushi you’re low key greedy ngl, Pre-Bullshit Atsushi was greedy. Money-eyed hoe. “If you want I can get you to meet him, but he won’t wanna show his face so it’s gotta be somewhere he can hide himself while still being able to sing.”

“Done!” Dazai holds his hand out like it’s some sort of deal. “I know a place.”

I’m sorry Dazai, but I’m not smart or sexy as you, so I don’t know the place. Let’s go with the regular canon spot, yeah? And Dazai listens while Atsushi sings behind a big crate and when Atsushi is done, he expects money but he gets a thunderous applause instead and suddenly his identity is revealed and everyone is clapping and staring at him super amazed.

And Atsushi faints from being too overwhelmed.

Anyways, things happen, some parts are alike to canon, some parts aren’t. Atsushi’s main goal in this AU is to get over his terrible stage fright while simultaneously trying to avoid clashing with Port Mafia, who at first, wants to recruit him before he fully signs the contract with AMA.

I don’t know how battles would work in this, but they happen.

Dazai’s backstory

So my man Dazai amirite?

Not a surprise, he used to be under Port Mafia. At some point he does numerous collabs with free lancer Chuuya because Chuuya’s little sheep band had an issue with copyright with Port Mafia (oops).

Onto the main course though: Odasaku.

Ango is in charge of Oda and Dazai, who usually does music together because they’re friends (hurray). But Oda had long gave up on doing vocals because his throat just couldn’t handle it, he much prefers writing music and Dazai doesn’t mind because he never has extremely big ideas anyways.

A clash with Mimic happens and Mori’s all: We need more music we need to stay number one. And so -I dunno how- he forces Oda to finally use his voice to sing via Ango’s persuasion.

Oda completely loses his voice in the end, like he completely damaged it, and he can’t handle the music industry anymore so he leaves. And Dazai’s all: “Don’t go please.”

And Oda writes on his phone and holds it out for Dazai, “This agency. It doesn’t care much for music, does it? I used to sing because I liked singing, because there were feelings in it. But slowly this agency stopped me from being able to do that. Dazai. Don’t you think you should sing with feelings too? You’ve never made an opinion on my ideas, is it because you can’t or you won’t?”

And Dazai realizes he only likes doing music because of the people around him, especially Oda, and now that Oda isn’t in Port Mafia anymore, it just isn’t the same. He’s been making music to grab people’s attention and not much because he wanted to. So he decides to change and switches agencies.

(His relationship with Akutagawa is as straining as canon; “I don’t care about how you made this dumb song, it’s not good enough! How will anyone want to listen to this crap?” Now Aku’s music are catchy and all but lacking in meaning.)

Other things

Yosano’s music is pretty rough, but it literally lets all the feelings out, so it becomes pretty nice. So you know that music that cures this and cures that? That’s Yosano’s music, except it’s really hardcore. I don’t know how she does it, she just does.

Kyouka is the daughter of two big music geniuses and is expected to be the same, so she gets an immediate acceptance into Port Mafia and it nearly breaks her until Atsushi meets her. During a concert or something -because in the end, Atsushi’s still the fan boy type- Atsushi goes up to Kyouka and asks if she’s okay and stuff.

“I’ve made 35 songs, but I can’t...hear my own voice, my own music...” Your Lie in April ref do not hunt me please.

Ranpo is known to have serious in depth meaning behind his music, and a good 20% are just matryoshka songs (he gives out stuff if you find out if his song is an in depth meaning one or just nonsense that somehow speaks meaning while having no theme at all)

Poe’s are somewhat the same as Ranpo, except they’re more like stories to be honest, and his songs get numerous fan interpretation and so far, Ranpo always gets it right. The only one who ever does without missing a beat (ha ha got em.)

Debating if I should just make Kunikida an agent or a music artist that just likes writing songs rather than performing them.

Naomi could be an idol ngl but she’s not, she’s her brother’s number one fan! (She’s a secretary in the agency.)

Chuuya’s more famous for his pretty looks than his music at this point, but it doesn’t mean he’s a shit music artist though.

Higuchi is Aku’s agent.

Kenji’s songs are so happy and go-lucky it makes anyone listening to it feel pumped up. Hence his music are often used in AMVs or sports exercise (what a range!)

Yumeno’s music are those cursed type of songs that weren’t meant to be creepy or weird to begin with (e.g Tonight You Belong To Me, it’s an innocent song yet it can be taken as horror(?)) but end up becoming one anyways.

Dazai’s songs are so sad sometimes but they’re always upbeat. A weird yet perfect balance for his listeners.

That’s all I got! Honestly, don’t really know how to develop The Guild in this, maybe one day I will.

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #band au #dazai osamu #atsushi nakajima #kunikida doppo #yosano akiko #odasaku sakunosuke #kyouka izumi #akutagawa ryuunosuke #yumeno kyuusaku #edogawa ranpo #edgar allen poe #higuchi ichiyo #kenji miyazawa #tanizaki naomi #nakahara chuuya

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bi-dazai · 4 years

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ok my bsd predictions for major plot points in the future

If dazai were to be killed off in bsd, chuuya would probably be killed with him in a final act of coded symbiosis.

Tbh tho that's such a major thing that it probably wouldn't happen until when the manga is finishing up so

Chuuya will either become the PM Boss or he'll join the ADA.

So chuuya is strongly suggested in two ways for his future which is HM INTERESTING. So the way that Mori clearly recruits him not just for his ability but for his leadership skills, plus the how chuuya has been developing those skills, is something I was thinking about a lot in S3. Mori is very clearly not happy with Dazai being the heir, even though he was the best choice. Dazai would have probably killed Mori and taken his place by the time he was 20 if odasaku hadn't died. Chuuya has loyalty to the mafia plus the fighting and leadership abilities. He's also got a certain obedience and controllability that if Mori was to step aside and not die he would like. Also something ppl forget is that chuuya is actually good at negotiation and staying calm under pressure, it's suggested that dazai particularly triggers his anger because dazai is an annoying shit who seems to be in canon attached to him whenever they're in the same room.

HOWEVER. Now I don't think I've ever said this on this blog despite me constantly thinking about it but Fukuzawa's ability is the perfect thing for Chuuya, as it has the possibility of actually reigning in corruption. If chuuya joined the ADA he would actually be able to use corruption's ability of throwing black holes without losing control of himself. Arguably that would also get rid of the need for dazai's intervention although it's been established that skk were thought of as a perfect fighting duo for a year before corruption even first manifested in a fight, so I don't think this would kill skk. And chuuya joining the ADA would mean that he and dazai have to interact on the daily. It also means that the mafia is left without any clear heir. People have vouched for kouyou in this situation but I think it's clear that kouyou is being forced to be in the mafia, she's given up on leaving and doesn't want to be there actively.

I don't think the second outcome is very possible plotwise for a few reasons. These are all totally writer's arguments so appeals to logic and plot aren't exactly going to work here, but as a writer myself these are the planning issues that stick out extremely badly if we get chuuya to defect:

- it would have to take something extremely major to get chuuya to leave the loyalty of the mafia

- chuuya becomes even more OP. asagiri kafka has said that though he really likes chuuya (as evidenced by the amount of goddamn times chuuya comes up in the novels), he avoids putting him in the manga because chuuya is extremely overpowered. If he and dazai were logically paired together for each issue every arc would be solved far too quickly for things like character development, or like...story...to take place. This is why chuuya is constantly sidelined. You have to actively make it so that chuuya isn't on people's minds constantly, or get him out of the picture immediately, so that your narrative can actually develop. Chuuya is honestly a mistake in a writing sense. But he's a strong character and he and dazai were written in tandem to each other so he's absolutely unremovable. A character like chuuya NEEDS to exist. So the way chuuya has been toned down is Corruption. Chuuya's ability by itself is just...incredibly powerful. He's virtually indestructible. However Corruption, the ultimate form, is shown to actively kill chuuya. The only times we've seen corruption used is cthulu, shibusawa, and shibusawa big dragon, all extreme threats. So chuuya's life when he's pulled out as the deus ex machina is tied to dazai. This makes chuuya's unchecked OP a little less unchecked and a little less OP. Chuuya is actually a fantastic example of why you CAN have OP characters, you just have to write them a certain way.

However in writing them a certain way, the most stupid thing you could do for your narratives would be to bring corruption under control, and to bring chuuya into the group of protagonists. you have to find excuses in every problem to why chuuya can't just come out and handle this himself, like you were before but now dazai's absence isn't an issue PLUS your readers are paying more attention to chuuya because he's around all the time.

So yeah, chuuya being in the ADA would be a bad choice narrative wise unless it was for like...one arc or smth. Chuuya becoming the next boss of the port mafia is wayyyyy more likely to me. I don't think chuuya would like it but he's really the most obvious choice

Dostoyevsky/rat arc is going to be mega arc/s.

one of the exciting things abt this series is that I have no idea how long this conflict with the rats will go on for. At first I thought it would be an occasional and ongoing plotline that is explored not as one big set arc but interspersed with other non-rat arcs. However by the way it's going it looks like we have two options, either 1) the rat issue is being dealt with across one mega-arc or 2) rat issues will still be dealt with like I thought, interspersed, but each time they pop up it will be a mega-arc like it has been so far. I genuinely don't know how this will be resolved, and I'm actually kind of wondering if the characters will finally leave kanagawa prefecture and maybe head to Russia to defeat the rats. I think this could be a good start to travelling the characters to settings outside yokohama.

Agatha Christie is going to be matched up to Ranpo.

Like Dostoyevsky is dazai's foil because their works IRL were similar in tone, Agatha Christie and Ranpo match up in that way perfectly. We've already met the trick foil (we thought he would be, but he wasn't) for Ranpo in Poe (IRL Poe actually did write mystery at times, and his works do contain elements of suspense and unknown). Ranpo is clearly going through hell in this arc which makes me feel like he's going to start being a much more major character in the future.

Agatha Christie and Edogawa Ranpo's works both fit in the mystery genre and were both alive irl around the same time. They both played historic roles in developing the mystery genre of their language's literature and are pretty well-known in non-literature circles because mystery often has a pulp, mass-consumable aspect to it. It was actually surprising to me that they were made into characters considering the other characters are named after authors of much "higher grade" Literature, as in Literature capital L. Mystery authors especially like Agatha Christie don't fit that bill, but they've played a central role in developing the fiction industry so I don't find it odd. Plus there's a bit of a debate what counts as Literature and every person has different opinions. Mine differs to asagiri kafka's which evidently seems to be that if the author has had a significant impact on the literary field then their works become Literature, thus they become 文豪 (Literary masters), thus they become a bsd character. I think that's fair, even if it isn't what I would personally say Literature is. This is par for the course tho lol, p sure any person who is into Literature will have a different thing to say about what gets that capital L.

But yeah, I think Ranpo and Christie are clearly going to be each others foils.

Christie is going to be cold. Like. COLD.

Dostoyevsky is more obvious evil, it shows on the surface. But Christie will have a polite veneer, a charm to her. We've seen her in a shot, and she sits tall, she enjoys tea, she dresses expensively and lives in colourful rooms. But she had no hesitation to destroy Yokohama if a situation wasn't dealt with within half an hour in the cruelest way possible. Christie was actively ready to incinerate Yokohama alive, that was her first instinct when contacted for help. Christie very clearly has a lack of care for the lives of others, OR she wants to destroy Yokohama in particular. However considering this is the goal of Dostoyevsky and Christie will probably be the next major villain after Dostoyevsky, repeating that goal and motivation is pretty boring and not very bungou stray dogs.

The order of the clock tower will not come to yokohama first.

The Guild were the ones to come to yokohama and threaten it up close. The order of the clock tower was a major threat to yokohama from across the continent. That's terrifying. The ADA/Mafia will have to work proactively

The end of the clock tower will have major repercussions.

The order of the clock tower seems to have its claws in everything and has a tight maintenance of leadership and control over almost every gifted organisation we've met. The Order seems to literally keep order. But they've clearly got a goal with sending the guild and the rats after the book. If the order is destroyed then certain aspects of gifted society slip loose and create new problems. This will probably be the creator of an arc or two after the order arc is over.

Chuuya's backstory is linked to Dazai's.

Chuuya was used by the military and experimented on until he could contain a god of destruction, after which he went haywire, blasted a huge crater in yokohama, and became a feral child.

Dazai was...we don't know. The furthest back we can tell is that some time in his early teens he was taken in by Mori. Before that he was apparently wandering around trying to find some kind of emotion, something to make him feel. He eventually found that with the violence and adrenaline rush of the mafia.

Now I don't think that dazai is a psychopath. It's easy to say he is with the way he seems to talk about the hole in his heart and the absence and emptiness. However dazai very very clearly cares. He cares about odasaku, he cares about atsushi, he cares about the ADA, and he even cares about chuuya (this is not my shipper brain talking, I am literally talking about canon). Dazai very clearly CARES. He isn't a psychopath.

My belief is that dazai is the most clear argument for my case that the series is about mental illness and self worth. Dazai very clearly has a major depressive disorder.

I also think that dazai is extremely traumatised. Obviously he's traumatised by being in the mafia at 15 and by odasaku's death, but I also think dazai may have been traumatised even before then.

Atsushi is dazai's mentee, the half of shin soukoku. He's shown to have childhood trauma. Akutagawa also has childhood trauma. Chuuya has childhood trauma. This may be a coincidence but almost every main character in this series has some form of early trauma.

Dazai IRL was not called Dazai Osamu. Dazai Osamu is actually a very sad name but Dazai's birth name is Tsushima Shuuji. IRL dazai/Tsushima was the son of a rich family that lived in Aomori prefecture (which is very rural lol). Dazai had an absent father and a sick mother and wasnt raised by his parents but rather by servants and his aunt. His father died when he was young (not that he got very old) and his life was plagued by constantly running off with girls, getting his allowance cut for being a marxist, and, yes, suicide attempts.

So my ideas for how this may translate into bsd dazai is this:

- dazai ran away from home when he was young

- dazai never had a good parental figure

- dazai is from a rich family in a rural area very far away. Like for those who don't know Aomori is at the northern tip of Honshū, just below Hokkaido. Yokohama is just south of Tokyo. The region in between is mostly forest and smaller cities. Most of Japan's (major) cities are cloistered around Tokyo and Kyoto and Fukuoka which are towards the south. So dazai is a country boy who has wandered japan after running away from home.

- dazai's real name is Tsushima Shuuji and there's a personal reason he's distanced himself from that. This one im not sure about but yeah

- thus follows that why would dazai be so fucked up if he isn't a psychopath and he did come from a rich family? Dazai to me reads that something major happened. In shin skk it's clear that atsushi and alutagawa share a past of abuse at the hands of parental figures and loneliness. With all the similarities and parallels drawn between the characters in skk and shin skk it seems logical to me that chuuya's past of torture may be similar to Dazai's in a way. It would be disappointing to me if dazai's past was covered and it didn't in some way affect him. The clearest parallel between skk is that they both lacked parental figures most if not their entire lives.

There's also this comment that dazai makes when the head of atsushi's orphanage dies. It's that relationships with fathers are messy and even if they were terrible it's natural to cry. This seems like bsd dazai may share irl dazai's father's death early in his life. It's hinted therefore that dazai's father was either abusive or neglectful and died when dazai was younger.

Anyway this went longer than I thought it would but I invest far too much brain time into bsd so it's gotta seep out at some point lol

#long post #bsd

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misstinfoilhat · 4 years

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Whumptober #20: Wake up! - Bungou Stray Dogs

This title is a bit of a stretch, but I needed a chapter like this at this point in the story. This is a multi-chaptered story, read part 1 here and part 2 here. ***

So this is how it is. After years trying to make things right, this is how I'm going to spend the last of my days. It almost makes one want to keep on living... and how fucked up isn't that?

After trying to kill myself my entire life, here I am, at the brink of death, fighting to stay alive.

If karma was on my side, I might be as bold as to think I deserved another chance, but… Anyone else perhaps. I deserve what I'm getting, and if it's under false pretenses or not, it really doesn't matter.

On the one hand, all I want to do is die and be done with it. Kick the bucket one final time, releasing the Agency of their duties of looking for me. Because I know they're looking. The idiots won't leave this alone before they know exactly what happened.

Then, on the other hand, I want to show these fuckers exactly who I am. No matter how hard I've fought to walk in the light, I'm still Osamu Dazai. The youngest executive in Port Mafia history, the second half of the infamous double black. The monster, the legend.

...reduced to less than the shadow I once cast.

I can't believe I ever thought that things couldn't get any worse.

Just when you think you've lost everything... You'll find out that you can always lose a little more. ***

"Hinata-chan, it's nice to meet you again. I only wish it was under different circumstances," Kunikida greeted solemnly and directed the short brunette to sit on the same couch she had been seated at six months ago together with her mother.

"Kunikida-san, I'm so happy you have reconsidered taking our case further. There's just no way Niko-chan would have drowned like that- she knew better than to go swimming by herself."

Kunikida forced himself not to frown, recognizing that taking on this case was more selfish than not, but he had to act professionally.

"It was never about doubting your suspicions. It's just been very busy," he said. Technically, that wasn't a lie.

"Is Dazai-san here too? He was such excellent help when Niko-chan was missing, even if it turned out the way it did," the young lady asked, looking around the office landscape where several of the other agents immediately turned away and suddenly looked extremely engaged with whatever conveniently close to their positions in the room.

"Unfortunately, he is not," Kunikida answered carefully. "I'm going to be completely honest with you, Hinata-chan. Dazai-san has been missing for six months."

He watched closely as the young woman's expression changed. She looked surprised.

"R-really?"

"Yes, sadly. He disappeared only days after your sister was found."

Hinata looked incredulously into the air in front of her, brows curved into a small scowl.

"And you think it might have a connection to my sister's death," she concluded finally.

Kunikida took a deep breath before he answered. He didn't want the girl to think that this was the only reason they took her case; even if it kinda was. It was hard to look at it in an unbiased way right now.

"Yes, we do," Kunikida settled on, quickly adding, "but that doesn't mean that we wouldn't have taken the case if it wasn't for that. If Dazai-san had been here, I can assure you that he would have been on it as soon he had seen it. That's the only reason we haven't been aware of your application until now. I'm going to be frank with you, most of our time since he went missing, has gone towards looking for him."

Hinata folded her hands in her lap, big bright cerulean eyes shimmering with unshed tears.

"I guess it's been a difficult six months for all of us, huh?" she muttered gravely. Kunikida couldn't do anything but agree.

"So, what do you think? Would you like to go through with this?"

"Yes, yes I would. Whatever you need. I want justice for my sister and Dazai-san's disappearance only amplifies my suspicion that everything is not as it seems."

"I believe you are right," Kunikida acknowledged with a short nod and paused for a moment to collect himself. He had read through Dazai's lack-lustered reports from the search, again being reminded of how infuriating it was that the ex-mafioso was so reluctant to put down the work and do it properly. In any other job, a person would have been sacked for something like that.

"I read in your application that your parents-understandably- have taken your sister's death very hard and don't want to go any further into it, but it would be of really big help if they could come in for a talk as well. All and any information would be greatly appreciated."

"Oh, uh, I… I can ask them. But I won't promise anything. My mother will probably try her best, but dad is… a bit more stubborn. I think he took her death the hardest of all of us. He has buried himself in his work ever since. He's hardly ever home anymore."

Kunikida reached out and gave her a compassionate clasp on the shoulder.

"I can only imagine. We will be very respectful. Is there one thing all of the members in our agency knows all too well, it's the pain of being the ones left behind."

A sad smile graced Hinata's thin lips as she gathered her things and left. Kunikida kept his seat in the small area where they would interview their clients for a little bit after she had gone. He felt conflicted about this. Unsure if anything they could learn about the poor girl's death would benefit the family in any way. In the end, it seemed like the only ones that could possibly gain anything at all from this was them.

...and Dazai. And they were definitely running out of time. The sly bastard was persevering, which he had shown time and time again. But six months was a hell of a long time, even considering that the idiot had nine lives and always seemed to land on his feet. He might twist an ankle in the landing but, somehow, it never seemed to slow him down.

"Yo, d'you know where Dazai's reports on the Saito-case has gone?" Ranpo suddenly startled him out of his musings with his question. Kunikida had to think for a moment, before he replied.

"I think Atsushi had it last. Ask him if he's done with it," he muttered absentmindedly. The short detective frowned a little but didn't say anything before he turned around, headed for the weretiger's desk.

After another couple of minutes, Kunikida was able to tear himself away from his spiraling thoughts towards doing something a little more productive.

He had studied the Yokohama map filled with large black X's and notes written in the margin for about half an hour when Ranpo approached him again.

"Uh, Kunikida-san? Did you read Dazai-san's research from this case?"

Kunikida scoffed. Of course, he had- several times. It was the usual chicken-scratches he always presented. Hardly legible, after being hand-written with poor grammar, going back and forth in time seemingly at random, with small add-ins with arrows pointing to where he had meant to put it and scratches where he had spelled a word wrong or changed his mind on how to articulate it.

"Obviously," he answered before he shrugged. "Well, as far as it was decipherable at all."

"Well actually… I think it was code."

For several seconds, Kunikida was unable to grasp what the brown-clad detective in front of him had just said. Because he had read that file so many times that he could quite literally recite it from memory, and not for a damn second had he spotted any sort of code in those crumbled up papers that looked more like they had been fished out from the bottom of a primary schooler's backpack at the end of a school year than as an official document.

"...what?"

"I crosschecked with some of his older reports and it's the same thing. It seems like he always keeps personal notes hidden in code through his reports."

"No, I mean… What the hell are you talking about? There's a code?"

"...which I've already deciphered of course. It's actually quite common. They make a code, mostly to themselves to keep track of their personal thoughts and surmises in their investigations. It's not too complicated, for the trained eye I mean, but they make sure to make it complex enough that they won't get in trouble with the higher-ups if they turn out to be wrong. To avoid being punished for having damning suspicions against their clients for example, or chasing leads that don't turn up anything. It's almost like pig-Latin, really, except it's personalized but there's a fixed pattern and-"

"How in the world haven't you seen that before?" Kunikida snapped, to which Ranpo looked fiercely offended.

"Now you just hold on a second! This is the first time I've laid eyes on that file and I recognized the pattern right away! The Saito-case was sad and all, but it was not a high-profiled case in any sense of the word. Nobody else that's read it recognized it!"

"Yeah, yeah, fine. I get it. I'm sorry. Would you please just tell me what it says?" Kunikida growled between clenched teeth.

"Well, there's nothing about a possible location yet, but," Ranpo took a deep breath and started laying out the pieces of paper in front of Kunikida. "...at least Dazai-san provided us with a name." ***

“Wake up,” a dark voice commanded from somewhere still far beyond consciousness. It repeated itself, several times, coaxing him back to the awful truth of his current existence. His body ached fiercely, foremost his head and throat and the newly broken arm which had not been properly set yet (he didn't know what he had expected; of course they would want him aware for that). The rest of his body hurt too, but it seemed to bleach to this new sensation that was conquering his being. There was dull nausea deep inside his gut too, that threatened to surface more and more at each second that went by.

"That's it. Can you look at me?" the masked man said, and Dazai faintly recognized him as the doctor who just would not let him die. "I have talked them into having you here for at least a couple of hours. You're not going to feel great after this. I'm going to keep you on this IV to avoid any dehydration. That sometimes happens after a… meal like this," the doctor said, looking between his patient and the bag of liquid on the rack a few centimeters above him.

"I also want to keep you on oxygen. When someone has starved themselves for as long as you have, there's always the risk of refeeding syndrome. I've been given strict instructions to not let you die, so that is what I'm going to do."

Dazai was sure he wouldn't have been able to care if he wanted to because as the doctor finished talking, he felt the bile rise in his throat. If it hadn't been for the bonds that still tied him firmly in place, he would have been able to turn on his side to avoid choking on his own vomit.

Luckily, Dr. You-shall-not-pass was quickly at work, loosening the restraints on his head and arms to give him enough reach to puke into the basin that was ready at his side.

Dazai emptied himself entirely, strangely comforted at the feeling. At least, it had calmed the nausea. Latex-gloved hands were steadying him for a moment, ready to lower him back into the bed.

Something inside Dazai's mind shifted in that instance. A tempting while slightly scary thought crossed his mind. Something that had not occurred yet up to this point in his captivity; an opportunity.

Before giving it much more thought, or perhaps unable to, Dazai reached for the basin with shaky hands and quickly whacked it over the doctor's head. He was maybe weak, injured and sick, but if you've killed as many people as Dazai had, you knew where to aim.

There was almost a small pang of guilt ignited in Dazai as the doctor folded in on himself and flopped onto the floor in a motionless heap. But, there was no time to dwell on it. Adrenaline had struck and that was literally the only hope he had of getting out of here without being rescued in the state he was in.

Quickly, he fumbled with the rest if his restraints and yanked the IV out of his hand, threw off his blanket and placed his feet on the floor and got up.

And imminently fell back down. His hip throbbed as if it was set ablaze, leaving him immobilized on the floor while heaving for air as the bile once again rose in his throat.

An alarm had started to signal in the distance and Dazai was faintly aware that he had screwed up the only chance he would get to escape. His vision had already started to blacken in the edges when several armed men entered the room, shouting and making too many loud noises to handle anymore. This time, Dazai considered himself lucky once the illuminating sticks closed in on him with the promise of blissful unawareness. He even made a point of resisting, just so they would make sure that he was thoroughly out before he would meet his inevitable punishment.

#whumptober day 20 #whumptober #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #Dazai Osamu #dazai whump #dark #wake up!#fanfic #Edogawa Ranpo #doppo kunikida

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