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serendipitystyles · 4 years

Note

Could you write something with Harry based off of Mine by Taylor Swift? Thank You Babes!

Mine

Pairing: Harry Styles x Reader

Word Count: 2,163

Summary: Harry’s the best thing that’s ever been yours.

Warning(s): Mentions of divorce, mom being unsupportive, some arguing, fluffiness, Harry being a literally perfect boyfriend, I think that’s it

A/N: I’ve never done a piece based on a song, so I hope it’s good. I don’t know how I feel about it but I hope everyone enjoys it.

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You were in college, working part-time, waiting tables Left a small town, never looked back

He had just been a small town boy, working in a bakery to make some extra money. He’d sing in his free time, not really thinking anything of it.

He came home one day to his mom telling him that he had an audition for the biggest singing competition show in the UK.

He didn’t know going in that it would get him out of his town, propelling him to stardom after the show, sending him on tours around the world with the boys that would be his brothers for years to come.

I was a flight risk, with a fear of fallin' Wondering why we bother with love, if it never lasts

You grew up in a home where love wasn’t all that present. Your parents divorced when you were younger, neither of them remarrying. You were taught that the most unreliable thing in life was love. It was something that was unstable. Something that fell apart way too often for it to be relied upon.

I say, "Can you believe it?" As we're lyin' on the couch

As you’re laying on the couch, your head in Harry’s lap, you look up at him and ask, “I can’t believe we made it here, can you?”

He looks at you for a moment before responding, making sure that his thoughts are thoroughly put together before speaking. “Yeah, I can. I saw you and knew that you’d be my forever.”

The moment, I can see it Yes, yes, I can see it now

You smile up at him, thinking that maybe your mom was wrong to an extent. Yeah, love was unreliable, but Harry wasn’t. Harry was a constant that you were glad to say you had in your life. One that you hoped would be there forever.

He was what made love worth it, what made everything about the uncertainty worth the risk.

Do you remember, we were sittin', there by the water? You put your arm around me for the first time

Your mind drifts back to the first time that he ever took you out, you had gone to a cafe, had a nice dinner (which he refused to let you pay for), and then went to sit down by the lake in your small town.

You remember thinking to yourself that the whole thing was insane. He was in a world famous boy band and you were a nobody. The only reason that he was even in your hometown was because he was there for a tour stop.

You had only agreed to go out with him because you thought you’d never see him again, never have to be dragged into the hectic lifestyle that comes along with being around Harry Styles.

Oh, were you wrong.

You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter You are the best thing, that's ever been mine

Ever since your dad had left, you had sworn that you were never going to leave your home, stay close to your mom so that you could take care of her if she ever needed it.

One date with Harry changed your whole outlook on that. Made you realize that there were bigger things than that.

And one conversation with your mom let you know that she had more than enough saved to take care of herself, and that if you really wanted to go be on your own, then she would fully support you.

Of course, at the time you left out one very important detail. You didn’t tell her that you wanted to go out and be with Harry, not leave to be on your own. But you didn’t think she needed to know that. She would have told you to stay, told you that he wasn’t trustworthy, that he would break your heart just like your dad had done to her. And honestly, you didn’t want to hear the speech again.

So, you packed your bags and you went on tour with him when he asked if you wanted to come. You made the split decision to be with him no matter what, because he was the best thing that had ever happened to you, and you were lucky to get to call him yours, so you weren’t going to let him go that easily.

Flash forward, and we're takin' on the world together And there's a drawer of my things at your place

The first time that you had been able to stay in one place for more than a few days came around six months after you had left. The boys were allowed to go home for a couple weeks, chill out, record some new music while staying put.

You hadn't unpacked your stuff since the day that you took it from your mom’s house, so when Harry had offered to let you use the washer and dryer that was now yours as well, you jumped at the opportunity.

When you came back into the room that you could now call yours, he had cleared out half of the drawers and half of the closet so that you could put your stuff up where you needed.

In that moment, you realized that this was real. That he was yours and you were his.

You learn my secrets and you figure out why I'm guarded You say we'll never make my parents' mistakes

He found out why you were so hesitant to leave with him a week or so into being home, when he had asked about when you wanted to see your parents and you had avoided the question, tears automatically popping up in your eyes.

Their divorce wasn’t something you liked to think about. Your dad wasn’t someone you ever talked to, much less talked about (unless it was with your mom), and you were still guilt ridden from not telling your mom about Harry.

He had wrapped you up in his arms, letting you cry until you were ready to talk about it, telling him everything.

He holds you close the entire time, letting you ramble as he soaks up everything that you say.

He then walks you to bed, pulling you in with him and holding you close, pressing a kiss to your forehead and whispering, “We won’t end up like them. We won’t repeat their mistakes. I promise you, love, we’ll be different.”

With that, your body relaxes enough into his so that you can both fall asleep.

And we got bills to pay We got nothin' figured out

There were times in your relationship when there were things that went wrong, obviously. Every relationship has its issues. But yours weren’t like everyone else’s problems. The bills that you had to worry about weren’t electric and water.

You had to pay for hotel bills and plane rides and a bunch of other expenses that come with touring the world with him.

There were times when the two of you would fight over it, you being upset and wanting to just stay home so that he didn’t have to pay for anything. So that you could get a job and help pay for some of the things around the house.

He refused, which ended up just making you feel like you were no help to him. It made you feel like you were a bad girlfriend, making Harry pay for everything when you couldn’t even help him out in the slightest.

He sat down with you, though, explained that you were worth more to him than anything else. He didn’t care if you had a job or not, he was lucky enough to not have to worry about you having a job. He’d rather have you on the road with him, having the time of your life, than having to work a nine to five job that you didn’t even really need.

When it was hard to take Yes, yes This is what I thought about

Sometimes, the thoughts would still bother you, so you’d always think back to that day on the lake, the day that started it all, and suddenly, your mood would be a lot better.

Do you remember, we were sittin' there, by the water? You put your arm around me, for the first time You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter You are the best thing, that's ever been mine

It always was when you thought about the simple things with him.

Do you remember all the city lights on the water? You saw me start to believe, for the first time You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter You are the best thing, that's ever been mine

That night, without even knowing it, Harry had made you believe in love. Had made you believe that maybe love was reliable. That maybe you could depend on him. Maybe you could be happily in love with him.

And I remember that fight, two-thirty a.m. 'Cause everything was slipping right out of our hands I ran out, crying, and you followed me out into the street

The two of you had been in Japan with the band, yet another tour stop on the infinite list. You had started an argument over the fact that you were never at home, even though you’d much rather be with him. Besides, you knew his schedule.

Thinking back on it, you have no clue why you even said anything, you had no problem with being on the road with him. You were just being dramatic. It was late, you were tired, and he was the person that was there for you to take your agitation out on.

Your tiny argument had turned into a screaming match, and it had ended with you telling him you were done.

You had left the hotel, walking in the dead of night in a city you had never been to before, and to top it off, you didn’t even speak the language.

He had followed you though, running right out after you, catching up to you and grabbing your arm. He had spun you around to face him and the look on his face made your heart break into a thousand pieces.

Braced myself for the goodbye, 'Cause that's all I've ever known

He looked upset, so much so that you thought he was going to tell you to come get your stuff and then leave. Tell you he’d get you a plane back to your hometown in the morning.

You were ready for him to pull the plug on you, to tell you that he didn’t love you anymore.

You were prepared for him to prove your mother right.

Then, you took me by surprise You said, "I'll never leave you alone"

He did the exact opposite though, he proved your mother wrong, yet again.

“Come back up, I’m sorry.” He had said, pulling you with him.

He had led you back up to the hotel room, tucking you into bed with him and promising to never leave.

He assured you that night that he loved you, that he never wanted to lose you, and that as soon as the tour was over, he would request a few weeks off.

You let him know that it wasn’t necessary, that you were just overreacting, but he vowed to do so anyway, telling you that he’d rather take a break from touring than lose you forever.

You said, "I remember how we felt, sitting by the water. And every time I look at you, it's like the first time. I fell in love with a careless man's careful daughter. She is the best thing that's ever been mine."

He told you that night before you fell asleep that when things got bad, he thought of the same thing that you did. The same exact memory. Your first ever date. The day that changed his life forever.

You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter You are the best thing, that's ever been mine

You realized that night, that no matter what happened, you’d do anything for him. You’d tour with him until you were gray and old if that’s what made him happy. Because he was what made you happy.

Do you believe it? We're gonna make it now And I can see it

You knew for a fact that you and Harry were going to make it when he stood in front of you, telling you that he’d care for you always, and never, ever let the two of you end up like your parents. You believed him so strongly that you didn’t hesitate to look him in the eyes and say “I do.”

So, now, here you were, your head in his lap, his hand running through your hair, singing you to sleep.

You knew, without a doubt, that as long as you had Harry, you’d be alright.

Permanent Taglist: @spideygirl2003, @jackiehollanderr, @scarletsoldierrr, @thewayilookatbacon, @parker-barnes-af, @lost-in-the-stars03, @kisses-holland, @josiemara, @god-knows-what-am-i-doing, @fanficscuziranout, @akila-stilinski @babebenhardy @write-from-the-heart, @slytherinambitious, @miraclesoflove @tomshufflepuff, @quaksonhehe, @a-different-brand-of-beans

Harry Styles Taglist: @alwayshave-faith, @hufflepuff-always-and-forever, @sucker-09 @just-chillin-out-in-me-box, @macksmedicine, @wendaiii, @theresthingsthatwellneverknow,

#Zoey's Blurbs #anon #zoey answers #Harry Styles #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles blurb #harry styles imagine #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #harry styles angst #2020

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jonismitchell · 4 years

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hey!! i haven’t talked to you in forever i hope you’re doing well. idk if you’ve answered this recently, sorry- top three on every album (totally put why if you want to, i love hearing people’s different opinions on this)

ahhh hey! i’m doing okay (as well as can be considered given the state of the world). i have not answered this question since folklore came out, so here’s a short opinion piece by yours truly. (under the cut because i never learned to shut up)

debut: - our song: listening to taylor swift sing from the “man’s perspective” for the first time is something that can be so personal. i’m pretty sure that this is also the first taylor song i ever heard (in 2012) so i have some degree of emotional attachment to it. - invisible: cause i just wanna show you! she don’t even know you! visceral flashbacks of playing this on loop while watching ever after high and harry potter videos in, like, fifth grade. truly describes my pining for every single person i’ve ever liked oops - should’ve said no: she’s so righteously angry and i love it. also the country accent is so strong here and i am absolutely obsessed with that.... legends only. anyway this is your reminder not to get back with your scumbag ex.

fearless: - love story: this is a classic! this is literally a classic. god the forbidden love, the happy ending, this implications of this being one of the biggest hits of her career.... it is The Ultimate Taylor Swift Song and we all just have to respect that. also a healthy dose of “the man’s perspective.” she SAW that film before and she changed the ending!! i cannot :) - come in with the rain: her vocals on this song are so dreamy and the song is really sweet. i think it manages to be lowkey and straddle how fucking dramatic being a teenager is with a lot of class that most of fearless doesn’t access. it’s a good song! - you belong with me: hey it’s the lonely hopeless romantic anthem! yes i know i’m citing the two biggest hits from fearless... they got popular because they’re super good okay! i would argue that the songwriting here is very classic taylor and it’s also super sweet :)

speak now: - last kiss: ugh this really is an amazing breakup ballad. it’s full of amazing one-liners like “you can plan for a change in the weather and time but i never planned on you changing your mind.” i can’t believe how brilliant the whole song is and it’s even more impressive when you remember she wrote it alone. cannot wait to hear the updated vocals but the shaky breaths in the original are perfection <3 - enchanted: okay this is actually my favourite speak now song but i thought i’d shut up about being a lonely romantic for more than five seconds! anyway i have projected this onto so many people... it’s so relatable and yet it’s super general and YET it makes no sense when you think about it... that’s my style of taylor swift song - the story of us: i love how blatantly unhinged taylor was while writing speak now it really speaks to me. i didn’t really like this one so much before but i went through a Thing and binge listened and now i am obsessed. love love love the lyrics and i think the production suits it well too

red: - holy ground: this is my ALL TIME FAVOURITE taylor swift song. i genuinely think these are the best lyrics she has written in her whole career.... “we blocked the noise with the sound of you and for the first time i had something to lose?” no one is doing it like her they simply aren’t. this song is absolutely perfect.... i don’t really have words to describe it i just need everyone to appreciate my taste for a minute - treacherous: gay little taylor swift. the whole idea of forbidden love crops up again here and i have to say i love it. i swear to god the vibes... the quiet confessional on the verses that explodes into this huge ranting bridge? that’s it that’s it that’s one of the best songs of all time man miss swift is an icon - state of grace: love is like a religion, perhaps. this contains such a wonderful extended metaphor and utilizes a bunch of different writing tactics so well. i sound like a broken record at this point but this is a good song! and yes i project it onto lucas (i’m fine to say that no one is reading this much)

1989: - wildest dreams: oh just say you’ll remember me! it’s the songs about doomed love that always get me, something forbidden, something you have to keep private for fear of it being destroyed. side note, everyone who thinks a song as good as this is about harry styles can fight me. taylor pulled this out of my personal diary in sixth grade and it hasn’t stopped being relatable since - wonderland: oh you guys know i love a literary reference and wonderland is so good. haven’t you heard what becomes of curious minds is also really gay so the song works well for me. oh and a special shoutout to everyone who removed a tattoo because of this song, i hope you’re doing real well - style: very happy that i never think of anyone in particular when i listen to this banger and instead just enjoy it like a normal person <3 i remember not understanding the hype until binge listening to 1989 one day in eighth grade and being like “oh i get it now” so there’s that (shoutout to this love for nearly being on this list)

reputation: - dancing with our hands tied: this is another one of my all time favourites! the pining, the gay vibes, the love that dies in secrecy... it basically goes through my list of how to be a good song and ticks my requirements off one by one. i love how anxious the production is and her emotion while singing it on rep tour. karlie kloss fucking fight me challenge. - new year’s day: this quiet subtlety of this love ballad gets to me... it was my favourite when i originally listened to reputation and hasn’t fallen out of the top three since. i think it highlights taylor’s songwriting abilities and her ability to make me cry, both very important aspects of music - delicate: this is another hopeless romantic pining song! how many are we up to now? i really think delicate is the essential crush song that describes basically every feeling i’ve ever had. and unfortunately, up to this point, it has all been delicate :/ at least i have the solace of sharing problems with a talented millionaire

lover: - cruel summer: this really is THE fucking song for me... it encapsulated my ninth grade year, it makes my heart hurt, it’s line after line of pain to me personally. i have no idea what miss swift is banging on about here (and i prefer it that way) but it really just means a lot to me! another song that sounds like my diary entry and is also completely inaccessible, i don’t know how she does it. - the archer: i love the moment where taylor swift decided that she was going to give those of us with anxiety a theme song every single album, and i think the archer is a definite highlight of her whole career. the subtle dreampop influences and the confessional vibes make it exactly what i wanted from lover, and also it hurts me emotionally in ways i can’t fully articulate. - lover: see, i do have a heart! listen, i’m only fifteen years old but i know i want this song to play at my wedding. it is so quietly romantic and perfectly sure of its own goals. it does not seek to accomplish any other goal than being a love song. i started thinking about the lyrics while writing this and now i have to go cry in a corner. (shoutout to cornelia street for nearly being on this list)

folklore: - mirrorball: right on holy ground’s heels for the dubious honour of being my favourite ever taylor swift song, mirrorball describes my Whole Life so unfortunately i’m considering suing miss swift herself. i just think that it speaks to me in ways that would require a whole essay to explain.... let’s just not - august: here’s your mandatory hopeless romantic pining song. did i mention i nearly cried to this on the day of release? i think that she Gets It. i don’t know taylor and i don’t entertain delusions of her knowing me but man she really just plucked the core of my whole love life and said “here’s a song about it, will you shut up now?” back when we were still changing for the better... i need a minute - betty: definitely influenced by the stellar performance at the acms! or maybe i just love listening to taylor openly singing about girls.... i just have a lot of feelings about the emotional resonance about the grand romantic gesture this song builds up to! the key change! the storytelling! kissing on the porch in front of all your stupid friends! this is what taylor swift is all about (shoutout to illicit affairs, my tears ricochet, and this is me trying for nearly being on this list)

#loudwithlaughter #asking with you #this is just 1500 words about how much i love random songs

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wolfpawn · 4 years

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I Hate You, I Love You, Chapter 73

Chapter Summary - Tom and Danielle head to the spa to relax, but Tom has been on tenterhooks since the Golden Globes.

Previous Chapter

Rating - Mature (some chapters contain smut)

Triggers - references to Tom Hiddleston’s work with the #MeToo Movement. That chapter will be tagged accordingly.

authors Note - I have been working on this for the last 3 years, it is currently 180+ chapters long. This will be updated daily, so long as I can get time to do so, obviously

tags: @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog @jessibelle-nerdy-mum @nonsensicalobsessions @damalseer @hiddlesbitch1 @winterisakiller @fairlightswiftly @salempoe @wolfsmom1

If you wish to be tagged, please let me know.

Tom insisted they take the Jag to the hotel, so he was driving and as they pulled in, looking at the building, he turned to Danielle. "This is extravagant."

"I know," She gave a loving smile. "It is supposed to be."

"What did you…?"

"If you dare ask me one more time what I paid, I swear, I will hit you," She threatened. "It is paid, it is done, so stop going on about it."

"It's too much Elle."

"No, it's not, now please, get your arse inside so we can relax."

In the week since his return from LA and the Golden Globes speech debacle, Tom was anything but his usual self. He was not half as good-humoured or indeed enthusiastic for many of his favourite things. He was confirmed to go on the Graham Norton show again at the end of the month as well as to get interviewed for GQ magazine, so all in all, there were things to look forward to, but overall, he seemed less animated in himself; something Danielle noticed and hoped that their two days together at the spa, away from the city, noise and talking would help with. Luke had been informed of what they were doing and agreed it was very much needed, promising to keep everything unimportant from them for a couple of days, as well as ensuring to keep an eye on if they were spotted, but Danielle had chosen the hotel specifically for its reputation. Though she had not intended to come with Tom at first, she wanted him to have peace in his time there, so ensured she chose a place that apparently even British Royals had gone on occasion; if they got privacy there, surely Tom and she would have the same experience.

They checked in swiftly and were brought to their room. As Danielle looked around, she smiled at knowing every penny had been worth it, she collapsed on the bed a few moments after the bellboy left their bags.

"Comfy?"

"Not sure if it is the mattress or the blanket, but something is terribly soft." She responded, sighing contently.

"So I could be in for a bad time with my back then?"

Danielle snorted, "You'd swear you were an old man with the way you talk sometimes." Tom smiled down at her, before joining her on the bed, looking at her pensively. "You okay?"

"I think so, thank you for being so good this week, so patient."

"Just remember, no matter what, no one can take your hard work from you, people have forgotten it already."

"Then how come I haven't?"

"Because you are you, trying to please everyone, trying to see if you can step on no one's toes when in truth, but some people want to be offended, they want to find fault in everything you say and do, based solely on the fact that you are famous, and since you got nervous, they are eating it up," Danielle's heart felt like it was breaking as she looked at Tom's eyes, filled with the hurt of what people that called themselves 'fans' had said about him.

Tom looked at her, "I am so glad you're here."

Danielle leant on her elbow and kissed him. "So am I, now I know you are hungry, I heard your stomach, let's get something in the bar to eat."

"Downstairs?"

"Well, there isn't a restaurant in the room here."

"You want to eat in public?"

"Well, it's not public, but yes, I do."

Tom's eyes lit up for a moment before his face fell again. "Are you doing this because of what happened in LA?"

Again, Danielle snorted, "No, nothing like that, one, I'm hungry and two, it's time we started doing things other than hiding in the house, we are not going to be able to hide this forever, though I doubt here is where it goes public, everything is so quiet and private."

With newfound enthusiasm, Tom went for a quick shower while Danielle cleaned herself up and checked her emails. "Ready?" She turned to look at Tom, "What happened, were we spotted?" He asked worried, noting the odd look on her face.

"No, I was asked to do a reshoot for Game of Thrones."

"When?"

"When that GQ interview is on."

"Isn't that okay though?"

"Yeah, no it's actually good timing since you were saying about doing the interview at the house, this ensures I am not spotted, it's just weird."

"Why?" Tom sat beside her.

"They said they weren't willing to take anyone but me apparently."

"That's a good thing though, isn't it?" Tom asked, "You said it is something you want, your own business, if you have directors and producers from the biggest show on telly demanding you, you are going to be very hot property."

"I suppose, it's just weird, I never thought…I thought I was nothing outstanding you know, just your run of the mill."

Tom cupped her face in his hands, "My Elle was never 'run of the mill', you are incredible." Danielle smiled slightly back at him. "Now, lunch."

"Yes."

The bar of the hotel was comfy and empty except for themselves, so the pair chose the seat by the fire, warm and neatly tucked in a corner as they ate a small enough meal, knowing the dinner that evening would be bigger. As they say drinking their tea afterwards, Tom's brow furrowed. "What's bothering you?"

"How am I going to deal with the Taylor questions for the magazine, or if it comes up on Norton?"

"Be honest, if you want to avoid it, do so, if you want to talk about it, be honest."

"I can hardly say I was going through a bad time."

"No, but you had some fun, didn't you?" Tom looked at her, his discomfort blatant. "Look, Tom, you know how I feel about what happened, but it did happen, and for a long time, you will have the badge of 'Taylor Swift's ex-beau' around your neck, sure even if in five years, you are marrying Hollywood royalty, hell, even if you were marrying actual royalty, you will still have that title, it sticks," Tom's brows furrowed further at that. "But that is not as defining as the papers make it seem, and it does not stop the fact that in a few of those pictures, you were actually enjoying yourself, Rome, you seemed fairly happy, some of the other ones, don't lie, just say there were good times."

"I don't want to hurt you."

"How is saying you had some fun before me hurting me? I had fun for twenty odd years before you."

"Look me in the eye and tell me it doesn't bother you."

"What do you want me to say, Tom, I don’t like some parts of it, no. I get jealous, I get normal pangs of envy, I wish I could just call my pilot and fly wherever in the world I wanted at a moment's notice, I wish people would literally be willing to defend me bitch-slapping a newborn puppy because they think that I am above others, but I am not able to, but you know what, I have something that the PR Princess doesn't have."

"What's that?"

"Tits, sass and you."

"Most women tend to have…"

"Tom, I have seen enough pictures of her to say those are bee stings, not boobs, she has a figure I will never have, she is far thinner than me, partly due to genetics, partly due to the fact I like food, but I got the trade-off of boobs and ass, so I think I have the better deal." Tom's eyes flickered down to her cleavage for a moment, his tongue unconsciously sliding over his bottom lip as he did so, "And going by your actions, you seem to agree some bit too."

"Maybe I do." He smirked.

"Besides, be honest," Tom's smirk fell, he knew whatever Danielle was about to say was going to be something important. "What is her MO? Date 'em, get dumped or dump, whatever way around it is, then write scathing songs about them. Go first, make it that you are all 'oh, we had a great time, it was nice when we had it' so that when Little Miss Bratty decides to get bitchy and catty in her new album, anything she says looks immature, you struck first, you set the tone, and it was a polite mature one."

Tom eyed her carefully, "If you decide to go into PR, Luke will make you partner in fifteen minutes."

"Look, it's all about just getting on with things, you will have this on you for a while, it's like a skunk smell, dealing with these questions is the ketchup bath."

"I don't follow."

"Saw it in a movie, apparently ketchup gets rid of skunk spray smell, anyway, you need to do this Tom, there are going to be questions, and that is something you have to endure, just don't let it get you down, sooner you accept them and move on, the sooner we are fully rid of her and the world focuses on her finding her next victim," Danielle stated.

"What about us?"

"Well, in that time, I was hoping that among the work, promotion tours and general life juggling, you and I would be getting more and more comfortable and perhaps try and throw in a few days away for ourselves in a nice location, photographers hopefully not included, lest I be accosted by Greenpeace trying to put me back in the ocean." Tom looked at her in bemusement, but Danielle just smiled back. "You know some people are going to say it, don't deny it."

"Elle?" She looked and him expectantly. "Thank you."

"What for?"

"All of this, being so understanding."

"Some would argue I am the one with everything to lose here, why wouldn't I be understanding?"

"You're not like that."

"No, yet people will think such things."

"Don't let them eat at you like that."

"It will, I know it will from time to time, I just can't let it show."

"No, you cannot let what they say matter, they are only out to upset you," Tom stated sternly. "Why are you smiling at me like that?"

"Because you cannot see the hypocrisy of your words, you are letting people getting to you at the moment. You are allowing people who have never met you, who will never know the dorky sweet man that loves his mum more than words, who still is protective over his sisters, even though they are both happily married and who nerds out at the idea of the summer listings for the Globe this year, dictate your mood, your happiness, yet you give out to me that I would allow it."

Tom looked at her for another moment with his brows furrowed. "Damn you." Danielle laughed. "You're right."

"I usually am," She winked. "Now, your treatment starts in half an hour, so get your fine ass upstairs so you can be ready."

"What about you?"

"There is a conservatory at the back of the hotel, it looks over the gardens, I am going to get my ass down there with a cup of tea and relax with a nice book." She grinned.

"You're not getting anything done?"

"No, you are, you need to relax, so come on," she rose from her seat.

Notes:

#I Hate You I Love You #tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston fic #chapter 73 #wolfpawn

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holdyourbreathuntilyouseelight · 4 years

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The Bodyguard - Chapter 10

Summary: Magnus is a dancing popstar sensation whose popularity continues to climb. Alec, an ex-Secret Service agent, is hired on as a professional bodyguard in charge of Mr. Bane’s personal security by insistence of Magnus’ manager. Despite their initial differences, Magnus finds himself falling for Alec the more time they spend getting to know each other and relies on him for more than physical security as his safety gets threatened. Loosely based on the 1992 film The Bodyguard.

Rating: M

Genre: AU, Everyone is Human AU, Celebrity!Magnus, Bodyguard!Alec, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Fluff, Friendship, Romance, Eventual Smut, Mutual Pining

Author: holdyourbreathuntilyouseelight

A/N: As promised, the final chapter! Just a short epilogue left. Thank you to all who stuck through me the whole way through my snail-pace updates and for any new people who have indulged the story this far! You all are amazing!!

Click here to read on AO3.

Previous chapters on tumblr: Prologue // Chapter 1 // Chapter 2 // Chapter 3 // Chapter 4 // Chapter 5 // Chapter 6 // Chapter 7 // Chapter 8 // Chapter 9

* * * * *

"Magnus! Magnus, over here!"

Magnus merely waved at the eager paparazzi, camera flashes making it seem like there was a strobe light going off. There were people lining the red carpet behind the barriers, photographers desperate for the perfect shot of one of the most popular music stars of the current era.

Alec was glued to Magnus' side, eyes never staying on one area for too long, and his hand never left Magnus' lower back as they wove around interviews and lined up guests.

These events were thankfully heavy on security, but if there was anything Alec had learned lately, it was that he could never be too careful when it came to Magnus' safety.

"Magnus Bane!" the TV host cried when they reached her, and Magnus pulled her into a hug. "Tell me, Magnus, how excited are you for tonight? You are up for three Grammys this evening! That's incredible!"

"Well, I'm not Taylor Swift or Adele, so I hope I at least take home one. But truly, just being here is as much a reward as any. Getting a chance to celebrate so much talent in one evening." Magnus said smoothly, not batting an eye at the camera man stepping in for a closeup.

Alec stayed to the side, itching to get Magnus back in his orbit, and he kept his eyes trained on the crowd and impending guests.

"Well, I know you don't need it, but good luck tonight. Have fun!" the host said, waving at the next celebrity before pressing a quick kiss to Magnus' cheek.

Magnus smiled in return before leading the way down the carpet, Alec immediately gravitating to his side again.

"I know you can't help yourself, but since you are technically my date by default, relationship status notwithstanding, can you at least try to look like you aren't trying to murder everyone with a simple look?" Magnus said to him in an undertone, eyes sparkling with mischief.

Alec rolled his eyes. "I can't relax until I know you're safe, so this is just my face."

"Alexander. I feel perfectly safe with you by my side. Now can you please try to make me look like a half-decent boyfriend?"

Alec chuckled, and Magnus reached up to stroke his cheek affectionately.

"There's that gorgeous smile. I would like more of that, please."

Alec couldn't keep his smile at bay after that, especially with Magnus looking up at him like he was one of the seven wonders of the world.

"You look amazing tonight. You sure you want to imply I'm your date when you'll no doubt have half the audience on their knees begging for a chance with you?"

"Mm I'd much rather have you on your knees."

Alec knew he walked into that one. He continued on, ignoring Magnus' smugness. "I wish I was sitting with you, but it makes more sense to have me near the stage, especially for when you present and when you win."

"If I win."

"When." Alec argued. "Look, I see what you do each day on stage. I see the fans reactions firsthand to your very presence. Your talent is limitless. You are going to win."

"I'm not the only talented person here, Alec. Hence why it is a nomination, not an outright award. And it's an honour—"

"Don't say 'to be nominated'."

"Well it is!" Magnus laughed.

Raphael came down the carpet, Luke in tow, and raised an eyebrow at the pair.

"Do you guys ever stop bickering?" he drawled.

Magnus shrugged.

Raphael looked around, trying to peer over heads but his height not helping. "Great turnout as always. Gotten starstruck yet?"

"Not yet. Don't ask that like you didn't nearly pass out when you saw Tan France at the last award show we attended together."

Alec turned to Luke, tuning out Raphael's protests. "Andrew is already inside. These events have their own high level of security given the prestige of the event, so we don't need a big team. You and I will be backstage and he'll be down in the auditorium but on the sidelines."

Luke nodded.

"Good luck, Magnus. I have a good feeling about your wins tonight—I think you'll be taking home more than one."

"You guys are going to jinx me." Magnus groaned. "But thank you, Lucian. Be safe."

"You too." Alec added pointedly to him before leading Luke away to check in for their backstage access.

Magnus linked an arm with Raphael, who simply rolled his eyes at the star, before the two marched into the auditorium to find their seats.

* * * * *

Once set free backstage, Alec felt his nerves spike again. There were quite a few people milling about—people responsible for lights, sound, directing the MCs and presenters, and every type of service worker needed to pull off an extraordinary event like this.

It made it difficult to keep an eye on everyone, as everyone seemed to be rushing past others and slipping in and out of dressing rooms or manning the tech behind the scenes.

When he tried to look out at the audience to locate Magnus, the bright lights pointed at the stage made it impossible.

"Damn it." he said under his breath. "Underhill, how are we looking?"

"Good. People are still piling in but Magnus seems to know the people behind him and in his row since he's chatting with them like they're old friends."

"Keep me posted if you see absolutely anything suspicious, okay?"

"You got it, boss."

Alec wanted to be comforted by Underhill's words, but he knew that Magnus was like that with everyone, and, frankly, it could go either way—Iris was a prime example of how someone close to him couldn't be trusted—and that meant everyone who was friendly with him was still a suspect.

It was going to be a long night.

* * * * *

The show moved on, with epic performances and awards passed out to tearful or giddy artists.

Alec had been given an itinerary of the awards being given out and saw that Magnus' categories were in the latter half of the event while his presenting was in the first half.

He soon would be pulled from the audience and taken backstage to be touched up and given a rundown of the script, even with the prompter in place. It allowed the presentation to flow more naturally if he had a chance to review it.

Knowing Magnus, he'd probably tweak it to suit his needs, but that was to be expected. Raphael had been right all those months ago when he said Magnus danced to the beat of his own drum.

Alec's phone buzzed against his leg and he slipped it out of his pocket to see a surprising number calling.

Jace (work)

He wanted to hit ignore and go back to people watching, but it may be about Iris or the evidence they processed.

"I have to take this." Alec told Luke. "Keep your eyes peeled."

He held the phone up to his ear. "Hello?"

Jace sounded stressed. "Alec. Sorry to call – I know you have the Grammys tonight. But there's been some new information about Magnus' situation and figured it was best you knew immediately."

"What's going on?"

"I'm going to let someone else explain."

The phone was apparently passed over since there was a shuffle before he could hear someone release a breath into the receiver.

"Alec?"

"…Iris?" Alec asked, unable to hide the surprise in his voice.

Luke glanced at him at the name but returned to scanning the room when Alec gestured at him.

"I know you're not my biggest fan right now but there's something I need to tell you."

"Okay… what is it?"

"I was too upset the other night to say anything. I just wanted Magnus to understand that I hadn't been doing what I was doing to hurt him – only scare him. Scare him into hiding or cancelling the tour but instead he accepted your hiring and then you two became inseparable in every way…"

"Iris. Make your point."

"They asked me here about the small bomb that was placed in his dressing room before you were hired, and I remembered you had asked me that too. But that wasn't me. I never wanted to hurt Magnus. I love him and want him to be with me."

Alec felt goosebumps rise along his arms. He normally wouldn't believe someone so unstable but she had a point. It seems counterproductive to murder the object of your affection when your endgame was to be with them. "Then who did?"

"That's just it. I don't know."

Alec inhaled through his nose, trying to rein in his temper. "So you're calling to tell me someone else means Magnus harm?"

"Well…"

"Iris."

She sighed. "I thought it was a dream, but now it makes sense. I forgot about the bomb. Nothing else physically harmful happened to Magnus so I swore it was just a vivid dream… but now… Look, before the tour started, I was desperate. I relapsed and got really high and drunk because, even though I had 'broken' into the house, left threatening letters and messages and photos, Magnus hadn't even seemed fazed. I didn't know then that Raphael had been hiding everything from him. And Raphael announced he was going to hire Magnus a personal bodyguard so the tour could go on without a hitch. So I was heavily intoxicated at this bar and bitching to some lovely voiced stranger and went on and on about how I wished someone would do what I threatened to do in those letters and then maybe Magnus would finally see sense… and the guy said he could do it. And I… I just handed over all the cash I had and told him to do whatever he had to."

"You hired a hit-man? An actual hit-man?" Alec said, feeling like the floor beneath him was shifting. How was this real? Could Iris even be trusted?

"I wanted to call it off as soon as I heard a bomb went off in his dressing room at one of the last concert venues before the tour took off. I couldn't believe it. I knew then it wasn't just some drunken fantasy and had actually happened. But I never got the man's name. I don't even know what he looked like. I have no way to track him down, Alec. I'm sorry."

Alec was glad he was in public or else he would've had to break something. "You're sorry? You hire someone to kill Magnus, you pay them to end his life, with the excuse of substance abuse, and you're sorry? You have no way of me tracking this person down, no idea when they might strike, and you want, what, my forgiveness?"

"No. I know I'll never deserve that. But I needed you to know so you can keep him safe. I don't know when he'll strike but if he's as good as he said he is, Magnus won't stand a chance."

"I'll make sure he does." Alec snarled into the phone, ending the call before he said something horrible to the very troubled woman on the other end of the line.

Luke made his way over, no doubt seeing the fire in his eyes from all the way across the room.

"Everything okay?"

Alec exhaled. "Far from it. We're not out of the woods yet."

* * * * *

Magnus was ushered backstage and he nearly tripped in his haste. He probably should've been looking at the floor more, what with all the cameras and wires around, but he was too eager to find Alec who he knew would be waiting for him.

Sure enough, once Magnus was nudged in the right direction, a strong arm pulled him aside and he found himself near-stumbling into his bodyguard.

"Well hello to you too." he teased, leaning up to kiss him now that they were behind a barrier. He hadn't been able to concentrate on the event like he had hoped, knowing that Alec was back there likely burning a hole in the floor with his pacing.

He was grateful that Alec took his job so seriously, but he also didn't like seeing the stress weigh down his boyfriend the way it did.

Instead of returning the kiss, Alec pulled back and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Magnus, we need to talk."

"Worst four words strung together in the English language." Magnus said, hoping for Alec to interject that it was nothing to worry about, but he got a good look at his eyes then and could see the pain there. "Alexander, what is it?"

Alec proceeded to explain the phone call he had received, who had been on the other end and what she had said, from the bomb to the anonymous hiring.

Magnus simply stood dumbfounded. "So we caught my stalker, the one sending all the threatening letters and photo collages… and that's not the same person as the one who nearly blew me up? There's still someone out there who is planning to kill me and we have absolutely no idea who they might be or how to track them down?"

Alec nodded, watching him carefully, rubbing a hand over his shoulder soothingly.

"I know it's a lot to take in. As unbelievably furious as I am, it is better we know so we can make sure you stay safe."

Magnus nodded numbly, swallowing and staring distantly at a spot on the wall.

Alec lowered himself slightly so he was at eye level with Magnus. "Listen. I am not going to let anything happen to you. I am good at what I do. We've gotten this far, right?"

"Magnus Bane? Has anyone seen Magnus Bane?!" a voice was shouting from the other side of the room.

"I need to go get touched up." Magnus said robotically, and he walked away like he was on autopilot to the makeup chair.

Alec watched him go, heart aching at the heaviness that had settled on his shoulders. Maybe he shouldn't have told him. Should've waited until after the awards show. But he wanted Magnus to be on the alert, to not think that because Iris was in custody, the risk to his safety was back to being minimal.

Touch-ups didn't take long and then Magnus was linking arms with his co-presenter, all smiles and laid-back energy.

Alec watched from the sidelines, directing Luke to the other side of the stage.

"There is so much talent showcased in this room tonight, and I'm not just talking about the make-up artists and fashion designers who manage to make us all look amazing." Magnus was saying with his usual flourish, the crowd tittering as expected. "Sometimes it is a single person that manages to light up the stage, and other times, it is a group of people who have come together to make something bigger."

"That's right." Magnus' presenting partner said, a beautiful brunette woman Alec couldn't name but had definitely seen before. "The following category features a wide range of talented and standout groups. The nominees for Best Pop Duo/Group are…"

She read them out to the crowd, applause following each group name.

"And the winner is…"

Before she could say it, Magnus suddenly froze before quietly rushing off the stage without a word.

The woman faltered slightly, eyes following him briefly before plastering on a smile and reading the card from the envelope.

The applause grew and then there was a group of young men taking turns thanking people on stage.

Alec moved to make his way to Magnus, slipping between bodies to get there as fast as he could.

"Why… why did you have to tell me all of this? Right before I go on? Now I see someone get up to go to the bathroom and I feel like I need to throw myself at the ground to avoid a bullet. I just humiliated myself in front of thousands of people all because you were too impatient to wait the extra hour when the show is over!" Magnus shouted at him.

Alec was slightly taken aback by the outburst, having been on the receiving end of Magnus' heated temper before but not usually to this extent.

He knew he had a point. Magnus wasn't anymore in danger now than he would be an hour from now – being oblivious to it would've been the kinder thing to do. After all, the hitman had been hired months before and had yet to strike – there was no guarantee he or she would strike tonight.

"Magnus, I'm sorry. It felt wrong keeping it from you. You're right—I should've respected how important tonight was and thought it through more. I'm just afraid."

"You're afraid?" Magnus asked incredulously, looking at him with such shock Alec nearly laughed.

"Yes, I am. I'm terrified of you getting hurt. Of this event being where he decides to strike. I… You have to know how much I care about you." Alec admitted quietly.

Magnus stepped into his space, looping his arms around his waist and smiling softly at him. "I care about you too. I'm sorry for snapping at you. I'm really just angry at myself. For ignoring the signs for so long with Iris. For angering her enough to get us to this point."

"Well, it hasn't been all bad." Alec reminded him, stroking a hand along Magnus' waist.

"You have been a good consolation prize." Magnus noted, and he laughed when Alec's face screwed up in annoyance. "I'm kidding, darling. You're very much the top prize."

"Mm a Grammy would be nice too though." Alec reminded him after giving him a quick peck on the lips. "Speaking of, you should return to Raphael before he sends out a search party or sends me extremely well punctuated texts that show he means business."

"Raphael is harmless. But I would like to see how the night's awards go."

Alec smiled. "Go. I promise I will do everything in my power to keep you safe."

"Fine. But I expect some very celebratory sex later if I win. And if I lose, sex to make me feel better."

Alec rolled his eyes but nodded. Magnus gave him another swift kiss on the cheek this time and headed off to return to his seat.

* * * * *

With Magnus' presenting out of the way, Alec felt a little calmer. With the itinerary laid out well in advance for what order the awards were presented, it made more sense for someone to attack when he was scheduled on stage versus waiting for him to potential win one of the three categories he was nominated for.

Still, Alec wasn't one to get lax with his professionalism. He still kept a close eye on every moving body and checked in with the two on his team to ensure they were doing the same.

He let his eyes rove over the crowd, catching sight of Magnus speaking quietly to Raphael as they applauded the current receiver of the award.

Alec knew Magnus was scared, maybe even more scared than Alec, but he hoped he had nothing to worry about. It had been months since the hit-man was hired – for all they knew, he had given up after his failed bomb attempt. It's not as though it was a contractually sound hiring. He had already been paid.

"You can't have that back here. It's interfering with the mic." a man with a headset of his own said, interrupting his thoughts, and Alec had to work to keep his face from scowling at him.

"I've been using it all night and it hasn't been an issue. It's my contact with my security team. My client is at risk in an event as open as this—"

Before he could finish, the guy interrupted. "I'm sure that's true but I've been given explicit orders. It's either give up your communication device or leave the event. Your choice."

Alec grumbled under his breath while he passed over the electronic device and nodded when Luke sent him a questioning look to silently ask if he should do the same.

Not having the wire in his ear made him feel exposed and on edge, but he had a job to do and would do so with or without the help of technology.

He shot a text to Underhill to let him know that they had been cut off and that they'd have to stay that much more alert to their surroundings.

Someone nudged past him, nearly causing him to trip over a collection of wires across the floor, and Alec remembered why being backstage was the worst location to have to hover.

A hand on his arm steadied him and he turned to the person to thank them, but it got lost on the way out of his mouth.

"Sebastian?"

The blond man smiled broadly at the sight of him. "Alec! I never expected to see you here. I didn't realize you were in the Hollywood scene."

Alec grimaced. "It's not really by choice; I work personal security. I go where he goes. What are you doing here?"

"Ah. I'm a photo journalist. This many celebrities in one place? It's like Christmas for us." he explained, gesturing to the large camera kit in his hand. "I should get to it, but lovely to see you, Alec."

"You too." Alec said automatically, eyes drawn to the duffel-like bag in his hand. It seemed to be quite a bulky piece of equipment. He knew many cameras could be large or have a lot of different lens and such, but the new technological age tended to provide much more compact options.

He didn't know why he felt that familiar unease climbing his spine. Maybe it was his suspicious nature but he suddenly was seeing something sly in the smile Sebastian flashed him before slipping away to go down to the sidelines of the auditorium.

Alec watched Underhill across the room from him and moved to say something into his mouthpiece, only to remember that it wasn't there.

He crossed the room to speak to Luke.

"I need you to keep close to that British man. Something about him… I don't know. I don't like it. And he's been somewhere Magnus and I have been before. I'm hoping it's just coincidental but I'm not taking any chances."

Luke nodded and left backstage to move closer.

"And the Grammy for Best Dance/Electronic Album is… Magnus Bane, for Shadow World!"

Alec couldn't help the proud beam that graced his face when the words sunk in. He couldn't wait to say 'I told you so' to Magnus.

Speaking of Magnus, he was absolutely glowing as the auditorium filled with cheers and applause and he hugged many people before jogging up to the stage.

Alec couldn't take his eyes off of him. He had never seen him so happy.

But then something caught his eye on Magnus' grey and white suit. A pinpoint red light dancing over his chest as he shook hands with both presenters and accepted the gramophone-shaped trophy.

Alec scanned the room desperately for where the light was originating from and his eyes landed on Sebastian.

It was him. He had his large camera hoisted up on his shoulder, but Alec could see now that it was simply a sniper rifle disguised in the shape of a bulky camera. It was how he would've gotten it in the door. Unless they took apart his camera, they'd never have known it to house a weapon.

Alec frantically looked for Luke and Andrew but they were simply clapping along with everyone else, eyes scanning the crowd but clearly missing the imminent threat.

Magnus raised the award above his head before he reached the podium, setting off another round of applause, and Alec watched in horror as the laser stayed still on his chest above his heart.

He'd never get to Sebastian in time. He was too far away. He'd be stupidly lucky if he could signal to either Luke or Andrew in all the excitement and communicate enough to have them apprehend Sebastian before he pulled the trigger.

Alec was running before he could think, his mind focused solely on blocking Magnus from the fatal blow, and he pulled his gun from his thigh holster as he raced onto the stage.

He heard the shot more than felt it, the subsequent quiet before terrified screams broke out made the whole experience that much more disorienting.

He had hit Magnus with the full force of his body, knocking him to the stage floor and causing the trophy to topple across the linoleum.

The pain hit him after the force of his fall jarred his alertness and he raised his gun with difficulty to point it at the assassin.

White-hot fire spread from his shoulder like a firework, and he knew there was a bullet lodged in his collarbone if his agony could be relied on.

The audience was racing for the exits, screams and cries exploding from every row as people scrambled in their gowns and best suits to leave the building.

Alec aimed at Sebastian and let his gun fire a couple shots, managing to hit Sebastian's hand and rifle to splinter it into pieces.

He went down and Alec was grateful to see Luke pushing through the crowd to get to the shooter, likely to tackle him into submission.

But Sebastian pulled out a handgun with his other hand from his suit pocket and aimed it towards Luke.

Alec didn't hold back from releasing a bullet that nestled between his eyebrows and knocked his lifeless body to the floor.

Knowing they were finally safe, Alec let his arm sag and he collapsed against the floor.

"Alec? Alec!" Magnus was suddenly beside him, having been knocked over and apart from him by a few feet.

"Magnus! Are you okay? You're bleeding! Where were you shot?!" Raphael was saying, having finally made his way up on the stage to crouch next to his long-time friend.

Magnus patted his hands against his chest, seeing the blotches of blood everywhere. His eyes widened as he saw the way Alec's eyelids were too heavy for him to keep open.

"It's not me! Alec? Alexander, please, look at me. What in the hell were you thinking? You threw yourself in front of a bullet for me?!"

Alec rolled onto his back with Magnus' help and Luke was next to them, Andrew in tow, and Luke bent down to put pressure on Alec's bleeding shoulder.

"Told you… I'd do anything… to keep you safe…"

Magnus had tears streaming down his face now as his hands flitted uselessly over him.

Alec felt himself growing weaker, knowing it was the blood loss, and it was hard to keep his eyes open let alone reassure Magnus he was fine. He knew he wasn't fine. He was starting to feel cold climbing up his extremities.

"Alec… Alec! Alexander, don't you fucking dare die on me, do you hear me?! Don't you dare!"

Alec chuckled weakly. "You know me, Magnus. Never been one to listen to you."

Magnus half-laughed, sobbing more than anything. "Please, Alec. Don't leave me like this. Stay with me."

Alec's eyelids grew too heavy and he let them win the battle, head lolling against the tiled floor.

"Alec, please. I love you! Do you hear me? I love you! Don't leave me! Stay with me!"

Alec wanted to promise him he'd never leave willingly, to return the sentiment, but the unconsciousness was pulling him under.

Before he could form the words, everything went black.

* * * * *

Continue to Epilogue

#malec #malec fic #shadowhunters #shadowhunters fic #magnus bane #alec lightwood #the bodyguard fic

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path-of-my-childhood · 4 years

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Taylor Swift is the artist of the decade

By: Courteney Larocca for Insider Date: December 16th 2019

Not only has Swift been putting out No. 1 hit after No. 1 hit this decade, but her music has latched onto its listeners in deeply intimate ways. The singer has also been actively using her platform as a successful artist to shed light on injustices within the music industry to ensure a younger generation of musicians can thrive in an environment that cares about their work, as opposed to commodifies it.

Taylor Swift knows that if you're the smartest person in the room, then you're in the wrong room. Oddly enough, Swift usually is the smartest person in any room.

While the casual observer may see Swift as nothing more than a pop star, she's one of the few people who has actively been making her industry - and the lives of her fans - better in irreversible and notable ways throughout the decade.

Swift was barely 20 years old when she became the youngest artist to ever win album of the year at the Grammy Awards on January 31, 2010, for her sophomore album, "Fearless." While the album came out in late 2008, it set Swift up to become an international phenomenon over the course of the 2010s; it even landed at No. 98 on this decade's overall Billboard Hot 200 list.

Her early success made sense - audiences love a wunderkind, plus there was something so incredibly relatable about a teenager telling her crush, "you belong with me."

But for me, and other fans of Swift, it was more than that. She was someone we could see ourselves in as we navigated our own lives and romances. And with the release of "Speak Now," in late 2010, Swift proved she wasn't capable of just reinventing optimistic love stories, she had a complete grasp on heartbreak and pain, too.

Swift demonstrated her songwriting prowess early on, and her music only continued to get stronger all the way through her 2019 album, 'Lover'

"Speak Now" is an entirely self-written album that charted on the Billboard Hot 200 for 137 weeks, which was not only a huge middle finger to critics who claimed Swift didn't write her own music, but also proof she was one of the most promising songwriters of her generation.

Arming herself with lyrics like "I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe," and "The lingering question kept me up / Two a.m., who do you love?" Swift created a bulletproof foundation for a career built around her uncanny ability to pinpoint crucial moments of intimacy and turn them into universal anthems of heartbreak, love, and loss that became soundtracks to real fans' lives.

Obviously, the stellar music never stopped coming. With 2012 came "Red," an album that's aged so gracefully that it's landed on numerous best albums of the 2010s lists.

Swift dropped her pop masterpiece, "1989," in 2014 - an album that boasts her biggest Billboard Hot 100 hit to date, "Shake It Off," which stayed on the chart for 50 consecutive weeks. "1989" also earned Swift another album of the year win at the Grammys, making her the first woman to ever be honored with that award twice.

Swift continued her career growth with "Reputation" in 2017, which helped her break The Rolling Stones' record for highest-grossing US tour in history by earning a whopping $266.1 million. Then, capping off the decade came 2019's "Lover," an album that showcased all of Swift's immense musical talents, but stands out in her catalog as the first album that she outright owns - a triumph that goes far beyond the music itself.

It's important to note, though, that there is no singular album that can easily be delegated as the "fan favorite," largely because each album is so special within Swift's discography. If you picked seven different fans off the street, they could very easily all have a different answer to the question, "What is your favorite Taylor Swift album?"

Even critics can't fully answer that question. While "Red" is known for being critically beloved (and is my own personal favorite), Billboard had six of its writers argue for one of her first six studio albums as being her best. Also, when I ranked Swift's best and worst songs for Insider earlier this year, songs from every single one of her albums made the "best" list.

One of the reasons Swift's fans constantly latched onto her music this decade - leading to her chart-topping dominance - was because her lyrics always felt so personal, yet relatable at the same time.

Take "All Too Well," for instance. It was a deep cut tucked cleverly away at track No. 5 on "Red." It was never released as a single, but this mighty pop-rock ballad became the sort of musical zenith most artists only dream about writing.

Hearing Swift weave in intimate details about listening to her ill-fated lover's mother tell stories about his childhood or leaving her scarf at his sister's house might seem too specific to reach a larger audience outside of her piano room, but it's exactly that candor that makes Swift's best songs feel so ubiquitous.

Swift's relatability proved crucial in 2017 when it came to her impacts on societal shifts outside of the music industry

Two months before the New York Times exposé of Harvey Weinstein was published, Swift stood up in a Denver courthouse against an ex-radio DJ who groped her at a 2013 meet-and-greet and then had the gall to sue her for damages after he was fired from his job.

The phrases from her testimony, "I'm critical of your client sticking his hand under my skirt and grabbing my a--," and "I'm not going to let you or your client make me feel in any way that this is my fault," will forever be ingrained in Swift's fans' minds alongside the lyrics she wrote in her high school diaries.

After she won her symbolic $1, which she sought out for "anyone who feels silenced by a sexual assault," The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network, or RAINN, told ABC that its national hotline saw a 35% increase in calls over the weekend following her testimony.

"Seeing someone that they respect, that they identify with [state they've been assaulted], has a big impact," RAINN's president Scott Berkowitz told ABC News at the time.

It's easy to look at a statistic and not think about the people behind it, but I can say that for myself, Swift played a pivotal role in how I viewed my own sexual assault.

Even before her fearless testimony, I turned to her 2010 ballad, "Dear John," for validation that I wasn't the only woman who ever counted her footsteps, praying the floor won't fall through again while dating a man with a "sick need to take love away." I later found solace in "Clean," the atmospheric "1989" closer that promises its listener that they'll one day be able to finally breathe after a roller-coaster relationship.

There's no doubt in my mind that I'm not the only one who saw their own pain reflected in Swift's lyrics, allowing them to grieve. After all, she wouldn't have become the artist with the highest-ever amount of American Music Awards, which is a fully fan-voted show, if her music was just OK.

Swift has also made strides at bettering the music industry for her fellow artists as well as herself

I won't rehash the recent legal woes brought on by Scott Borchetta selling Swift's former label Big Machine Records - and thus, all of Swift's catalog up through 2017's "Reputation" - to Scooter Braun (because who needs Big Machine anyway?). I will say that Swift fighting to own her art, and by proximity her fight for all artists to own their art, is just one example of the work she's done this decade to protect artists' rights.

You may remember that she got endlessly dragged for taking her music off Spotify or writing a letter to Apple condemning its policy of not paying artists during a three-month free trial period of Apple Music. But underneath all of the misogynistic, "she's only out for money" criticisms spat at her, you'll find she did those things to bring light to issues within her industry that hurt up-and-coming artists who don't have the millions of dollars that Swift has. Within less than 24 hours, Swift received a direct response to her open letter to Apple, saying the company had decided to reverse its decision.

When Swift chose to leave Big Machine behind in 2018, she didn't just leave for the sake of leaving. She instead negotiated a deal with Universal Music Group that not only granted her the rights to everything she would create under the label but also included a clause in her contract stipulating that "any sale of [UMG's] Spotify shares result in a distribution of money to their artists, non-recoupable."

She also said the label had agreed to this "at what they believe will be much better terms than paid out previously by other major labels."

That means that with her contract, Swift made sure other favorite artists of this decade, like Rihanna, Lady Gaga, Ariana Grande, and Kanye West, will benefit from the revenue their art brings in. The same goes for lesser-known and newer artists signed to the label.

Even other artists have given credit to Swift for the way she changed the way we consume pop music

It's hard to imagine today's pop stars like Ariana Grande would be able to name-check their former lovers in songs like "Thank U, Next," and have them be the successful hits we know today if Swift hadn't previously crafted breakup songs like 2010's "Dear John" and 2014's "Style" that made it clear who the tracks were about - John Mayer and Harry Styles - right there in the titles.

Halsey, another artist who rose to prominence this decade, has even lionized Swift as one of her songwriting heroes, notably for her smart bridges.

"The bridge [of a song] is a fortune cookie. It pulls the whole thing together, it's the punchline, it's one of the most important parts of a song. Ask Taylor Swift, she writes the best ones in history," Halsey said in a November 2019 interview with Capital FM.

Anyone who's listened to "Out of the Woods," "Don't Blame Me," or "Lover" knows this to be true.

Swift deserves to be the artist of the decade because her music validated women while she simultaneously fought for a younger generation to make new music in a better environment

It took 13 years for Swift to come out with a track contemplating the misogynist double standards she's had to face as a woman in the music industry, and it's easy to agree with her sentiment: If Swift were a man, then she would, no doubt, be "The Man."

But while she maybe would have faced fewer obstacles and overtly sexist criticisms throughout her career if she were a man, she may not have touched as many women's lives with her music.

Being someone who has idolized Swift since I was 11 years old, I can say that the reason she matters is because not only does she produce beautifully-worded tracks that resonate with fans on extremely personal levels, but she also wants to make the world a better, fairer place - one music contract, open letter, and song lyric at a time.

And that's something that should never be shaken off.

#taylor swift #artist of the decade #insider #article #about taylor #2010s #all the eras

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are-youreadyforit · 5 years

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My Swiftie Story - it’s about time you all get to know me ❤

It started with Fearless for me. I got the deluxe album for Christmas and the rest is history. The End

Just kidding. I was 14 when I went to the Fearless Tour as my first concert in Sydney Australia. Mum bought us a ticket, and accidentally bought some kind of VIP package lol. It just meant we got pre-show canapes and a drink and early access to merch, and we had really great seats at side stage! I bought my first Taylor Swift merch; the Fearless T-shirt, brown wrist band and concert program.

I’m 16 now and I don’t know how but I got my learner’s licence. So when I was learning to drive with Mum, Fearless was in the car radio. Every time. Mum had her favourite songs and we’d sing along going for drives that had no purpose other than to get my learning hours up. We’d pick far away cafes to go to and have tea and scones hehe.

Speak Now came out later in the year that I went to the Fearless Tour. I was in year 9 at high school. I had my first boyfriend and liked trying to make Taylor’s songs relate to my relationship. But when we broke up (when he dumped me by text – yep @taylorswift I can relate), I remember posting a status of lyrics from Perfectly Good Heart 😂

I remember being so sad I couldn’t go to the Speak Now Tour because I also really liked Hot Chelle Rae and they were Taylor’s support for the Australian leg of the tour. I don’t remember now why I couldn’t go but I was sad haha

Then RED came out when I was in my second last year of high school. Mum loved the title track and would make me play it multiple times in a row, and I would always jokingly argue because I wanted to hear the whole album. 22 is still one of my anthems! And one of my biggest regrets is not making my own music video to it for my 22nd birthday 😂

The RED tour was right when I had booked my schoolies trip with my friends (in Australia this trip is a tradition for after graduating from high school). We were in Bilinga, Queensland Australia which is near(ish) Brisbane Australia. I was so desperate to go to the RED tour I hatched a plan to spend a day or two getting to Brisbane for the show and back and continuing my schoolies holiday after seeing Taylor. But mum wouldn’t let me because nobody wanted to come with me and she wouldn’t let me go by myself. I was 17 so kinda fair enough (especially being in another state) but also, god damn! This is the tour I’m MOST upset for missing; I love the RED album. Anyway, I’ve been to every tour since RED now so 🤷‍♀️.

When 1989 came out I listened to it in my car driving between mine and my boyfriend’s place basically every time I visited him. This boy became my man and we’re still together, going on 7 years in April next year! 😍❤

I actually WON my 1989 tour tickets from a local radio station!! I couldn’t afford the tickets and nobody understood that every Taylor concert is a new and wonderful experience, so they would say “you’ve already seen her before” 🤦‍♀️

I listened to the radio everywhere I drove (on my licence by myself now btw guys yay) and at home when I was studying. The competition was “Swiftie or 50”. One afternoon I rang like a million times and I GOT THROUGH. The competition was choosing between tickets to the 1989 World Tour or going in the draw for $50,000. And as I’m sure you fellow swifties can relate, I was not being convinced on anything other than the tickets. They played all these promo snippets of things you could do with the money but I was like “no I’m still going to take the tickets” HAHA. My heart rate was through the roof but I GOT THEM AND RAN AROUND THE HOUSE SCREAMING IN EXCITEMENT!! 😁😁 I took mum with me to the tour again since a love of Taylor and her music was something we continued to share. I bought a T-shirt and the concert program again. I wore and still wear this t-shirt to death! Lol

In 2017 I moved to Melbourne on my own to pursue a degree in osteopathy. I had roommates for the first time in my life and wasn’t sure what they would think of my love for Taylor. But thankfully they embrace it and one of them came along the ride that was Reputation era. Well the release of LWYMMD and everything leading up to the album. We lost our minds (well I did) at the mv for LWYMMD when we put it on the big tv in the lounge room haha. I took my cousin Lauren to the Reputation Stadium Tour tour with me. We saw Taylor in Melbourne and Lauren travelled down and we made a girls weekend out of it. This was the first concert I dressed up for and I freaking loved it. Although we got some looks and questions on the train to the city HAHA!

We had an absolutely amazing time together, memories neither of us will forget, probably my favourite tour so far!! It was also cool to see Charli XCX together again because we saw her in Sydney one time together. Oh and we we’re old enough to have a drink or two 😉🥂

That brings me to Lover, at 23 years old and having been with my boyfriend for nearly 7 years. He’s fully aware of my love for Taylor and her music. He was visiting (we are doing this relationship long distance whilst I study in Melbourne) when Me! came out. We were driving somewhere and I got the vid up on YT and listened and watched with my phone connected by Bluetooth to the car while he drive us around. Since then he’s been learning the Taylor songs quicker and messages me when he hears it a thousand times on the radio at work lol. YNTCD shook me in the best way possible, I love every bit of it! Lover (the song) came out and touched me immediately. I can truly relate to the love it conveys and it makes me feel so so nice, I think of my boyfriend all the time, and often when listening to Taylor songs hehe. Lover might even be my favourite track on the album because of these lovey feelings it gives me, and that’s saying something because I struggle to choose favourites. I really really love(r) all of Taylor’s songs!!

Okay if you’re still here, freaking well done and I appreciate you so much! Soz it’s a bit, okay a lot, long!! If you wanna help @taylorswift possibly see this that would be pretty amazing! 💕💕💕

Love, Tara

#my swiftie story #australian swiftie #swiftie story #me!#lover #lover era #taylor swift

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stateofgrace-acoustic · 6 years

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Why Speak Now is a lyrical masterpiece: an essay.

//it’s here!! i really wrote a 6000 word essay on Speak Now. yep, I’m a nerd and also slightly crazy. have been working on it for the last two weeks. i am really proud of this and i’m excited to share it, even if not many people read it.

Special thanks to @bridgesburn-i-neverlearn who encouraged me to write this and also is an angel in general. Thank you for being excited about it as much as I am - I hope you enjoy! //

Speak Now is a fan favorite among Taylor Swift’s albums, even though it has always been painfully overlooked in the mainstream. It is undoubtedly amazing on more than just one level - musically, it is diverse, uniting not only country and pop but bringing rock into the mix as well; the songs are confessional, heartfelt, each one telling a different unique story. They feel almost theatrical at times, which the Speak Now tour with its musical appeal - the elaborate stage design, background dancers, and dramatic performances incorporated into the songs - capitalized on in captivating fashion.

What has made me fall in love with this album most of all, though, has always been its storytelling - and I’m sure most fans will agree with me here. In this essay I want to highlight what I believe to be a central reason behind the charm of Speak Now: its thematic cohesion, exploring the intricacies of confessions through songwriting, and of speaking - or not speaking - in the right moment. I will go through the songs on the album looking for these thematic ties, while highlighting what makes each song special in my eyes, pointing out subtle subversions and added subtext that make the songs more complex than they might seem on the surface. I’ll argue that these little subversions are what situate Speak Now in an in-between stage between naivety and maturity - between idealism and realism. It is this space of being in-between, on not quite having arrived at a specific point, but trying to make sense of the world through storytelling, that make the album so compelling.

Taylor talked about the central idea behind Speak Now being confessions. ‘Each song is a different confession to a person.’, she stated before the album came out. ‘In the past two years, I’ve experienced a lot of things that I’ve been dying to write about. A lot of things I wanted to say in the moment that I didn’t.’* In the album prologue, she mentions specific, crucial moments where the decision between speaking or not speaking up can make or break a situation - situations in which she could have spoken up, but didn’t, and so she wrote songs about them. Songs that are, by nature, retrospective - confessions kept past the time that they should have been said, emotions bottled up from the moment they were felt. And retrospection always has something wistful about it, the knowledge of not being able to turn back time, even if your reflections may have made you wiser in time.

This idea is central in Back to December, an apology to a lover she mistakenly let go. The progression of the relationship, but also her different states of mind associated with it, are symbolized by the different seasons - starting off light and sweet with ‘then i think about summer, all the beautiful times’, turning to the realization of love in fall, until ‘the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind’. Here she directly references her fear keeping her from holding onto the relationship. Now, the constant urge to relive the mistakes she made keeps her from moving on: ‘staying up, playing back myself leaving’. But she pushes the message of the song further than regret and apology - she knows that, as much as she would want to, she can never ‘go back in time and change it’, and as much as she loves daydreaming about it, that will never make it real. With that in mind, she tells him, ‘so if the chain is on your door, I understand’. She accepts that her apology might not be enough, that she might not be forgiven; she knows she needs to make her peace with that. This sense of acceptance not only shows maturity, but gives the song an undercurrent of sincerity; otherwise it could have been perceived as manipulative, an apology constructed to win back someone’s heart. Instead, it expresses an earnest sense of regret, and at the same time, the heartbreaking realization that regret is not always enough, and fixing the past is something beyond our control.

The pain of reflections bringing back detailed memories of something that is forever lost is also a central focus on Last Kiss. One of Taylor’s biggest strengths in her songwriting is her focus on detail - rather than talking about the relationship in general terms, she evokes specific images of ‘the smell of the rain, fresh on the pavement’ and ‘that look on your face, lit through the darkness at 1:58′. Playful moments in the relationship and traits of her former lover that she found endearing earlier - ‘you’re showing off again’, ‘you kissed me when i was in the middle of saying something’, have now become bitter as she misses not only the big emotions, but the little quirks and small moments that made her fall in love. The chorus shows the pain of having to face dreams shattering; ‘I never imagined we’d end like this’. The way she continuously recalls beautiful moments from the point of view of her naive, lovestruck side, and crushes them with questions - ‘why did you go?’- and pain from the present, gives the song a structure that parallels the repeated, sinking feeling of heartbreak. This is brought to its most unfiltered expression on the bridge, where his current life and distance from her is directly contrasted with the intimacy they used to share: ‘so I watch your life in pictures, like I used to watch you sleep. And I feel you forget me life I used to feel you breathe.’ As in Back to December, she also dedicates the bridge to a central message to the person the song is about - but it is ultimately not only one of hurt, or even anger, but of being lost: ‘I never planned on you changing your mind’. The central idea of the song is that she feels deeply insecure because she does not understand why she was left. It becomes clearest when she expresses the hope that he might feel the same longing for their times together as she does: ‘I hope it’s nice where you are [...] and something reminds you, you wish you had stayed.’ This is not the scathing goodbye to an old lover that she can master just as well on many of her other songs; its heartbreaking nature lies in the simple, evocative way it talks about the pain of being left alone without knowing the reason.

If the communication on Last Kiss is one-sided, as her former lover is long gone, on The Story of Us, it is dysfunctional and characterized by the growing divide between two people - another variation of the topic of speaking and confessing that ties together the album. Besides the many metaphors related to stories themselves - ‘i don’t even know what page you’re on’ - the clear structure stands out here the most. The first verse recalls the effortless chemistry they had at the beginning - ‘we met and the sparks flew instantly’ - and the dreams of the time when everything seemed stable. But soon the distances are too far to cross, at least for one person alone - ‘so many things that I wish you knew, so many walls up I can’t break through’. She now desperately wants to know how the other person feels, but has no way of knowing: ‘I’m dying to know, is it killing you like it’s killing me?’ The disconnection is illustrated in the second verse as the actions of both people are separated and contrasted - “see me nervously pulling at my clothes [...] and you’re doing your best to avoid me.’ and ‘how I was losing my mind [...] but you held your pride’, unlike the first verse where the ‘we’ was central. In the middle of the isolation, she feels the weight of the things that are unsaid: ‘I’ve never heard silence quite this loud’, and perhaps also the weight of her own inability to articulate her thoughts and emotions: ‘I don’t know what to say since the twist of fate when it all broke down’. The song illustrates the difficulties of communicating once misunderstandings and emotional walls are built between people. She realizes that to break down these walls, both partners would have to put in effort - “I would put my armor down i you said you’d rather love than fight’, and recognizes that she is likely not the only one who has things to say that she cannot put into words: “There’s so many things that you wish I knew’. At the same time, the issue can never be resolved if her partner is not willing to take a step forward, and so, the relationship is breaking apart without either of them finding a way back to each other.

Instead of real life issues with communication, the idea of speaking up in a crucial situation is taken to the realm of daydreaming where situations play out perfectly on the title track, Speak Now. It presents itself innocently - the speaker being an uninvited guest at a wedding, secretly having a crush on the groom. And in fact, at the beginning, the speaker illustrates herself as the total opposite of trouble: ‘I am not the kind of girl who should be rudely barging in on a white veil occasion’. However, from verse one, a sense of cheekiness runs through the song - ‘her snobby little family all dressed in pastel’ doesn’t make the bride look too appealing, and ironic remarks like ‘it seems that I was univited by your lovely bride to be’ makes her seem quite a bit more feisty than she makes herself out to be. And indeed, at the end of the second verse she directly tells him , ‘You wish it was me, don’t you?’ It is still sweet, but also slightly taunting - he is the one who should have known better, and he picked the wrong girl. The part of the wedding ceremony where guests are allowed to speak up one last time, gives the song, and the album its name: ‘Speak now or forever hold your peace’. Even in a song as generally lighthearted as this one, the sentiment itself is quite serious, and runs through the sadder songs on the record as well - the fleeting nature of chances and opportunities to speak up, and the possibilites of regret if you let it pass. It is a challenge, in the moment, to raise your voice, but - as Taylor says in the album prologue - ‘if there’s something you should say, you’ll know it. I don’t think you should wait.’ In her daydream, she doesn’t wait, and speaks up despite of her nervousness to a happy ending - and the guy in the song eventually thanks her: ‘so glad you were around when they said speak now’ - suggesting that he was actually unhappy with the situation as well and was too afraid to speak up himself. Even though it is, of course, not a line that is supposed to be taken too seriously and is simply the fulfillment of her romantic fantasy, him echoing her words, it can also be seen as a reaffirmation of raising your voice, as you might not only change your own life to the better, but effect others with your courage, too.

Even when Taylor sings about stories of love in a light of positivity and liberation, she inserts more complex emotions into it than obvious on the surface. On the opening track Mine, she recalls the classic narrative of two lovers meeting, falling in love, fighting and finally reconciliating with a happy ending, but gives it a few subtle but meaningful twists that sets it apart from her earlier, more simple and naive stories in the like, as Love Story. Suggestions that the speaker of the song had to witness love breaking apart in her childhood and grew up not believing in ideals of happily ever after are woven through the song - lines like ‘wondering why we bother with love if it never lasts’ seem upon focused listen, quite dark and uncomfortable in a song this upbeat and optimistic, even if the story does get a happy ending. And the central fight that occurs in the bridge of the song is directly followed by the insecurities boiling back up and threatening to end what both of them have built. At the end, the song is about the power of love to set you free and make you believe that stories of happily ever after are possible - but it does not happen on its own. The repeated mentions of ‘hold on, make it last’ at the end of the song suggest that only if both partners continuously put work into it, the happy ending is truly possible. A subtle sense of maturity that the simple ‘baby, just say yes’ at the end of Love Story does not carry.

Enchanted may be seen as the most straightforwardly romantic song on the album, but there are undercurrents of darkness here as well: the entire first verse speaks of being in a situation of loneliness and alienation from all the people in a room: ‘walls of insincerity, shifting eyes and vacancy’. It is a deeply sad image that is relieved by meeting the one person the speaker does have a real, intimate connection with. And while it is sweet and beautiful, the loneliness from the beginning of the song never vanishes entirely, as the entire song is a daydream - it is left open how the person that she has caught feelings for actually feels and responds. The sense of agitation that comes with overwhelming happiness is never really resolved - she expresses it in ‘dancing around all alone’ and daydreaming about a happy ending - but the song is never grounded back into reality, which gives it its momentum - it exists and stays in its own sphere of joy and hopefulness.

In this song, as in so many others, the important, revealing emotions occur at specific nighttime hours - here it is the anxious reflection on who the other person might love, in Mine it was the crucial fight between the lovers, in Last Kiss a remembered moment of intimacy. It is at these hours that emotions are most raw and unfiltered - which ties into the confessional nature of the whole album.

Taylor explores the intricacies of love further on songs like Sparks Fly, which, in its lyrical themes, can be seen as a predecessor to her album Red, as she talks about falling for someone that might not be the best choice, infatuation taking away her capacities for rational thought - ‘my mind forgets to remind me you’re a bad idea’, a recurring idea on her fourth LP. As happy and liberating as the song is, there is a certain danger to the attraction that Taylor is aware of - it could all end up badly, but she is too caught up to care. She paints herself as helpless to the feelings at first - comparing herself to a house of cards and saying ‘you’re the kinda reckless that should send me running, but I kinda know that I won’t get far.’ However, this simple image of total helplessness that does not give her any agency in instigating the relationship is subtly challenged on the bridge: ‘Just keep on keeping your eyes on me, it’s just wrong enough to make it feel right’, she sings, suggesting that in some capacity she simply does not want to think about the possible results of giving into her feelings - she is aware there is something off, but prefers not to follow the thought further. It is a moment of almost conscious self-denial that not only draws strong parallels to songs such as I Knew You Were Trouble, but to another song on Speak Now that dramatizes the opposite of falling in love: a relationship falling apart - Haunted.

Haunted with its deeply dramatic presentation gives the impression of Taylor being caught up in memories and feelings she cannot escape or move on from. More straightforwardly than on Sparks Fly, however, she states right at the beginning that she could see the damage coming: ‘I have known it all this time, but I never thought I’d live to see it break’. A small part of her held onto the hope that is might still work out. However, after everything is inevitably broken, she cannot find consolation or a sense of stability anywhere: ‘It’s getting dark and it’s all too quiet and I can’t trust anything now’. Her sensation of having lost her partner to a mysterious force that made his ‘eyes go cold’ perfectly fits the gothic atmosphere of the song, and the chorus shows that she is still to a certain extent in denial and shock as she pleads to him to come back to her - ‘something’s gone terribly wrong’ she sings, completely lost as to what caused him to turn away after she thought she knew him so well. The amount of shock she is still in is powerfully illustrated in the second verse as well: ‘Something keeps me holding on in nothing’. She is self-aware enough to know that it is senseless to keep coming back to a broken thing, but her emotions keep pulling her in. Finally, denial takes over again during the bridge as she repeats to herself: ‘I just know you’re not gone, you can’t be gone’. The song illustrates the precise state between realizing something is over, and dediding to move on. It’s the state of lingering for a while longer, being pulled from either side and being unable to let go - being ‘haunted’.

These same emotions of denial and helplessness are central in the next song as well, but it discusses many more emotional states, too- Dear John, which might be the center point of my analysis, as I consider it to be one of the most complex and impactful songs Taylor has ever written. It is a song about the dynamics of an abusive relationship and about heartbreak that gradually turns into self-empowerment.

Taylor uses a wide array of images to convey her feeling of being trapped in the relationship in the first verse, always feeling like the weaker partner at the mercy of the other - she compares herself to a chess figure being rendered powerless by constantly changing rules, and evokes the image of a blue sky being turned into rain. At the same time, she discusses the anxiety that comes with being so powerless and being the subject of constantly changing moods - ‘counting my footsteps, praying the floor won’t fall through again’, as well as bringing up the already mentioned self denial that she is now aware of and that her worried mother brought to her attention.

In the prechorus she frames the song as an explanation as to why she walked away from the relationship: ‘This song is to let you know why’. Then the chorus turns reflection of her emotional states into accusation, the first step on the song’s way toward empowerment. ‘Don’t you think I was too young to be messed with?’, she asks her partner to evaluate his own consciousness. But eventually, the chorus ends on a somber note as the accusation is directed not at him, but herself: ‘I should’ve known’. She regrets her denial in retrospect and blames herself for the way he treated her, a common reaction in emotionally abusive relationships.

The second verse, then, takes the next step: she examines the reasons behind the relationship not working out, and explicitly incorporates both partners into the conversation. However, while she accuses herself of naivety, the majority of the blame lasts on him this time, presenting him as having ‘a sick need to give love and take it away’. She further disects his personality, stating that he would not actually listen to her criticisms - or anyone else’s -, but simply think of her as misunderstanding him, refusing to see any position but his own- everyone else is on his ‘long list of traitors who don’t understand’.

Finally, on the bridge, she takes the crucial step up: instead of remaining a passive marionette in his hands, she takes back her agency, escapes his influence and therefore takes away his power: ‘took your matches before fire could catch me’, and, with her life back in her own hands, she is not only free, but a better person with a brighter life than his will ever be: ‘I’m shining like fireworks over your sad empty town’. It is the central climax of the song, but I would argue that it has a second, just as important one, as the central moment of subversion is reached at the end of the song. She turns the last lines of the chorus on its head: ‘cried the whole way home’, an image of humiliation, sadness and brokenness, is turned into the triumphant ‘wrote you a song’. And instead of the self-accusing ‘I should have known’ comes one small, but immensely weighted comment that not only makes him look like the naive fool instead of her, but places her in a position of strength on the basis of her songwriting: ‘You should’ve known’. It carries a double meaning - he should have known not to mess with her that young, but he also should have known that she would fight back by writing a song. She uses her own public image as a weapon in a line that manages to both be slightly self-deprecating, and ridiculing her former lover for underestimating her. He might have broken her heart, but she can write about it and find protection and self-worth through her art - here, Taylor discovers the power of the song as a weapon, a concept she would later bring to heights of success on mega hits like Blank Space.

Thus, Dear John takes the journey from a place of complete helplessness to strength and empowerment through art, and it chronicles the variety of emotional states on the way with captivating precision.

As multifaceted as Taylor’s songs about love on Speak Now are, it is not the only topic she sings about, so for the last section, I’ll take a look at the songs that illustrate topics of empowerment, revenge, and forgiveness, as well as the overarching theme of growing up.

Mean might be seen as just one of the many Taylor songs about getting back on a hater, but it is a truly special one, as she grounds the song in different emotions that all play together; a confronting attitude, making her critic responsible for his words and actions, a sense of the cheekiness from Speak Now, and genuine expression of the effect his words had on her wellbeing. She is not afraid to call out his behavior as hypocritical and unfair - ‘switching sides, wildfire lies, humiliation’, the accusatory ‘you’ hanging over the beginning of every verse. At the same time, ‘you have knocked me off my feet again, got me feeling like a nothing’ opens up a complete insight into the devastating effect his comments had on her. At the end, ‘you don’t know what you don’t know’ is her way of telling him that as long as he does not actually know her and makes up accusations, his words do not have legitimacy at all. She even searches for roots to his actions - ‘I bet you got pushed around’ before stating that she will not stoop so low to use his own methods: ‘the cycle ends right now’. Following up on this idea, the chorus is her big, triumphant refusal to further engage with him at all, saying that some day, she will be so big, he will not even be relevant enough to hurt her. It is a much more scathing comment than actually directly getting back at him would be, completely stripping him of any relevance. Toward the end of the bridge, she seems to leave it at ‘all you are is mean’, but then fires off some more accusations: ‘and a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life...and mean’ It is intentionally slightly petty, playing with restraint before she gives into her desire to express herself honestly and to get a bit of revenge, after all. She is having her fun with the rebuttal as much as she is genuinely expressing her emotions and making a mature statement about taking the higher road. She proves, on the song, that these do not have to be exclusive attitudes - you can send an important message while still having fun with the song.

But as effective as Taylor can be at balancing revenge and forgiveness, she can dive deeper into either side of the scale as well if she wants to. On Better than Revenge, she fully embraces her anger and fury to call out both her ex boyfriend and his new girfriend. She paints him as a possession of hers that was unrightfully stolen, and equates her rival to a child that hasn’t learned proper manners when she lectures her that ‘stealing other people’s toys on the playground won’t make you many friends’. Thus, in the word choice alone, she takes the conflict to a childlike level. Taylor shows herself as a person with mature attitudes who has to teach the other girl about proper behaviour - and she does have real points to make: ‘sophistication isn’t what you wear or who you know’ - but at the same time, her wilingness to engage in the battle and her desire to ‘always have the last word’ reveal her own motivations which come from a place of impulsive emotions and wounded pride, too. The triumphant and gratified way she sings ‘Let’s hear the applause, come on, show me how much better you are’ shows her taking pleasure from the fact that her rival was, after all, not worth it anyway - an attitude that is very much not mature, but she knows it, and she embraces it fully in the song, which no doubt felt cathartic to write. And here, again, we have the function of songwriting reflected in an actual song. It is only implied, but after all, the titular revenge she gets is the song itself - even if she could not win him back, she can make sure that she has the last word.

Innocent can be seen as the opposite twin of Better than Revenge - even though they are about different issues - when it comes to attitude. The song is all about giving a person who slighted you a second chance, the reasoning for it being that stumbling at a point in life is an experience everyone shares, and so everyone deserves a fresh start at one point with no past baggage keeping them down - ‘who you are is not what you’ve been’. She expresses sympathy in the verses, comparing adult life to easier days of childhood when a sense of safety and security was taken for granted, and you had people to look up to and guide you in life - ‘always a bigger bed to crawl into’. The line ‘wasn’t it beautiful when you believed in everything and everybody believed in you’ expresses both a sense of disillusionment that comes with adulthood and the loss of the support structure that seemed completely self-evident for all of childhood - being left alone, knowing that no one will be there to catch you once you fall, is a terrifying situation. Adulthood is the time when ‘the monsters caught up to you’, a simultaneously sinister and sad image for everything that caregivers cannot shield from us anymore after a certain age. And as this is an experience we all share, Taylor implies, we need to look out for each other instead, and give each other second chances when needed. She talks about regret, too, an idea that was already discussed in other songs: ‘Did some things you can’t speak of, but at night you’ll live it all again.[...] If only you had seen what you know now, then.’ This part not only incorporates the album theme of speaking into the song - in the form of words you won’t even admit to yourself - it also calls back to the idea of knowing a better route to past events upon reflection, but the wistful knowledge that turning back time is impossible. As Taylor herself relates heavily to this experience, as she has illustrated on songs like Back to December, she can apply the feelings to others and empathize with her supposed enemy. The song in that way shows itself to be about the power of empathy to remind us of experiences we all share and are bonded by, and, at the same time, it is just as much about growing up as it is about forgiveness. The key to dealing with the fleeting nature of life and the possibilites of missteps and missed opportunities, as is suggested in the bridge, is to keep reminding yourself that changes also bring chances, and as humans we are capable of constantly renewing ourselves: ‘Today is never too late to be brand new’.

The topic of growing up is not left to Innocent alone to reflect; in fact, it has its very own song dedicated to it, titled Never Grow Up. The wistfulness of remembering the safety and effortless happiness of a childhood long gone takes center stage here, as she talks to a young child who stil has her entire life in front of her - yet, over the course of the song, Taylor gets lost in her own reflections and reminisces on what she has lost of her own childhood. The child’s innocence makes her think - in a heartbreaking way - of the inevitable time when this carefree nature - ‘to you, everything’s funny, you’ve got nothing to regret’ - will be lost and disillusionment will replace wide-eyed optimism. Having experienced it herself, Taylor wants nothing more than to shield her from the same fate - ‘I’d give all I have, honey, if you could stay like that’, but she knows that it is impossible. And so the chorus with its repeated mentions of ‘oh, darling don’t you ever grow up’ is steeped in a deep sense of sadness, as it’s clear that this wish can never be fulfilled. On the second verse, Taylor flashes forward to the teenage years and once again, recalls an image of naive, boundless joy, struggling to hold onto it - ‘don’t lose the way that you dance around in your PJs getting ready for school’. At the same time, she never loses sight of the fact that everyone shares the fate of growing up, and struggles with it, which might help us understand other generations’ struggles, too: ‘Remember that she’s getting older too’. The central idea of the song is the tragedy behind the constant wish to grow up as a child - ‘you can’t wait to move out some day and call your own shots’ - just to want to go back to the simpleness of childhood once you actually get there. Thus the mantra of the chorus can also be seen as a wish to hold onto childhood just a little longer, or preserve what is possible from it. But at the end of the song, when Taylor relates her own experience to the rest of the song, she comes to a rather defeating conclusion: ‘I just realized everything I have is someday gonna be gone:’ The only thing that is possible to do is hold onto the memories, they will hold on to you - ‘keep pictures in your mind of your childhood’ - and try to keep them safe in your heart.

Finally, the song that is left is the last song on the album, Long Live - and this song, too, is a reflection, but it is a much more hopeful, enthusiastic one that celebrates the people that helped Taylor get to where she is and all the memories that were made on the way. She consistently uses plural ‘we’ on the chorus of this song, illustrating the fact that it is not about her own success and story only, but about the community she has built along the way - with her band, her entire crew, and most importantly her fans, and just how much this community means to her. The song is a celebration of the things that can be moved when people come together - the way it can make the seemingly impossible come true - ‘long live all the magic we made’, and the way it can make seeming underdogs the ‘kings and queens’ of the world for just a night. She feels like she can take anyone on in this situation - ‘bring on all the pretenders, I’m not afraid’. This momentum, this power and beauty is something she wants to keep safely stored so that the memories can never be lost. At the same time, she takes a wider look into the future on the bridge, breaking her celebration for a while to think about the consequences of the fairytale ending, of things falling apart - and all she wants in this situation is the magic of the memories to be remembered, and felt even by people who were not directly there. It is, at the end, a love letter to her fans, for all that we have achieved together with her and that is yet to come: ‘I had the time of my life with you’. Thinking back on the album topic, it illustrates the wonderful things that can happen if you do take chances - if you take the courage to speak now. It leaves the album on a note of joy and a sense of magic the belief that even the highest dreams can be achieved, and everything is possible - when we find a way to connect with each other and fight for it together.

At the end, with Speak Now we are left with an album that examines love and life in all its complexities; incorporating fantasy and reality, regret and denial, revenge and forgiveness, loneliness and connection, wistfulness and hope into fourteen songs, each painted in muliple shades of emotion, all of them tied together by the topic of confessions and speaking up. It is an album that is both deeply personal and universal, and I have loved it for all of that for many years - I hope this love came through in this piece of writing, and I hope that I could make you relive your own love for Speak Now while reading it.

(If you’ve made it all the way to the end, thank you so much!! I don’t really expect anyone to read this, so if you did, I really really appreciate it. I hope you could get something for yourself out of it. And to Natasha, thanks to you more than anything - without you I never would have written this!)

*https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/taylor-swift-announces-third-album-speak-now-186288/

#taylor swift #speak now #vanessa talks #for a very long time #vanessa has never talked this much #she is currently questioning her sanity #she loves speak now way too much

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jonathantaylorthomas · 6 years

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As the opening drum beats of ‘…Ready For It?’, the first track on Taylor Swift’s record-setting ‘Reputation’ shake London’s Wembley Stadium, it becomes very clear as to what to expect over the next two hours: Perhaps the greatest live concert of our generation.

Ever-since the pop star had posted those snake graphics on her Instagram in late 2017, the world has seemingly been in a frenzy – with headline after headline writing about the meaning of the dollar bill in her ‘Look What You Made Me Do’ music video or who she’s referring to in her single ‘Gorgeous’. The irony of all this seems not lost on Swift – as her album explores the media’s portrayal of perhaps the most significant pop star of our generation, the media has shown her claims to be evident.

This theme is carried through-out much of the ‘Reputation’ stadium show – her biggest shows in the UK to date – with newspaper-style text acting as backdrops on massive screens and the star herself even advises fans to be themselves and not worry about what other people think between songs during the show.

It’s a mixture of this heart on her sleeve, honest advice alongside massive pop tunes which make this show one of the greatest concerts of our generation. Very rarely do crowds stay stood up for the whole two hours – when she talks, people are screaming that she’s even saying the word “LONDON”. When she sings, well everyone knows the word to every song. Every. Single. One. That’s because Taylor Swift doesn’t make anything other than hits.

And when we say that, we don’t mean she’s a machine of radio-worthy tunes. In fact, fans could argue that mainstream radio didn’t jump too hotly on her latest set, but that didn’t mean the songs weren’t hits… especially considering that most songs on the album have hundreds of millions of streams on Spotify alone.

Transitioning between a stream of upbeat pop bangers (there’s no better way of saying it, really?) such as ‘Look What You Made Me Do’, ‘End Game’ and ‘King of My Heart’ (all from ‘Reputation’) to latest single ‘Delicate’ and acoustic versions of ‘Dancing With Our Hands Tied’ shows Taylor Swift’s versatility – she can seemingly perform a choreographed dance routine and then go into an emotional, slow ballad positioned with just her guitar without the skip of a heartbeat.

Now for some things which are obvious but we will say anyway: HER SET DESIGN, COSTUMES AND CHOREOGRAPHY ARE MIND-BLOWING. The live music equivalent of a playground for the artists that grace it through-out the evening, she has giant snakes, fire and a and seemingly endless amount of backing dancers and costumes which she changes into at record speed.

Particular highlights through-out the set are a new acoustic version of ‘Red’ hit ‘I Knew You Were Trouble’, a piano version of ‘Long Live’ (from ‘Speak Now’) which turns into perhaps our favourite Taylor Swift song ever, ‘New Year’s Day’ and, of course, the moment she invites tour supports Camila Cabello and Charli XCX on stage to perform ‘Shake It Off’ with her!

On her first night at Wembley Stadium, Swift was also joined by Niall Horan to perform a song. Introducing him as someone who has performed at the venue before (as part of One Direction), the surprise appearance was an accent to an already incredible experience - and, although it was expected, a stellar surprise nevertheless.

But, in truth, the whole concert is a highlight. It’s a celebration of making the most of the cards that life throws your way. Between Taylor Swift’s darker times and heartbreak, through to her moments of sheer acceptance and glee, the ‘Reputation’ stadium tour would turn even one of Swift’s biggest critic into a cheering fan.

Perhaps more impressing though, she’s done something many thought impossible in 2018: Brought together millions of people around the world in celebration. And wow, it’s a big one!

#reputation tour london night 1 #reputation tour review

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thisselflovecamebacktome · 6 years

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A non fan’s “VIP” experience at the Witness tour

Anyone who knows me knows that I am not the biggest Katy fan to say the least.... but my 60 year old mother is, and after being financially unable to attend any of Katy’s past tours, nothing was stopping her from seeing Sydney’s opening night of this one, even if Witness wasn’t her favourite album. Likewise, as this was a mother’s day gift, nothing was stopping me getting her the best sitting tickets in the place. I also want to make a quick note to say that a lot of the negative stuff I have to say is at the start of this post with the positive being down the bottom, so if you’re going to attack me for ‘being a hater’, read the whole thing first.

So we showed up at 6:30, right when the VIPs were being let in. Getting in was no issue. The staff checked our tickets, gave the bumbag full of VIP stuff, reminded us we have $10 worth of food and $10 drink on the VIP vouchers (which tbh is pretty generous, typically it’s $5 each) and directed us in. Once in, the plan was to get food, drink, merchandise and have plenty of time to spare inside considering part of this VIP package was supposed “shortened VIP lines”. Likewise, according to the email I received, non VIP ticket holders were not meant to be let in until 7. None of that went to plan...

We started at the closest food and drinks place... except it wasn’t a proper food place, just a chocolate, chips and drink place. According to security, there was only 2 proper food places; on the very top floor and on the bottom floor on the other side of the arena. Mum and I then modified our plan to get drink there, then the merchandise which was right in front of that place and finally the food. So we hop in the VIP line and some guy comes and tells us that it’s quicker just to get in the normal line, so we do, much to the employee at the counter’s dismay. I don’t know if he was double booked jobs wise for this event or was only meant to set up, but he was adamant that he had somewhere else to be and demanded to know why we were in his line. After a second group was sent to the line, he called over the bloke who directed us there and told him off. He also seemed unaware that VIP ticket holders were told that the $10 drinks voucher could be used on alcohol as my mum tried to get a wine.

So that was all an annoyance, but it was quickly cleared up and we got our drinks and went to the VIP merchandise line. By this point it was 6:45. Like I previously mentioned, non VIP ticket holders were let in a lot earlier than the time indicated on the email I got meaning that the normal line had hundreds of people waiting... and yet it still moved faster than the VIP line which had no more than 10 people. Granted, there was only one guy doing the VIP line which seems silly given how slowly it was going. Anyway, it hit 7 and quite literally only 2 people had been served in the VIP line so I said to mum that I’d grab the food considering that had to be done before the show too. She was reluctant as she hates using the bank card, but she also didn’t want to get the food so that was that.

I decided to go around the arena to the stall on the same floor we were on. While there, I went through a massive line, was held up through a fight because one of the cashiers wouldn’t accept cash when he should have and then had to call over the boss for my order because the cashier thought the vouchers I had were homemade and I was trying to steal the food. All up, it took about 25 minutes from the moment I left the merch line to get the food and come back. None of that really bugged me; I only put it in to put the timing of what I say next and to put something I say later into perspective. My mother was only just reaching the front of the VIP merch line when I got back.

All up, we got to our seats at about 7:35. Zedd was running late and started at 7:45 so we didn’t miss anything. Speaking of Zedd, he was alright. Took me a few songs to realise he wasn’t just playing his own stuff, but there’s nothing wrong with that. Honestly though? Literally nearly every single arena show in Australia has a DJ for the opening act regardless of who the main act is so he was kinda meh for me. I will give him that he had a lot of energy though.

After Zedd, I went to eat my half of the rolls I had brought. From the minute I bit into them, it was clear both through taste and smell that something was off. Literally the small/taste of vomit was all around me and mum could tell. We chucked them out immediately and I prayed that I wouldn’t end up with food poisoning today. And before someone makes a comment about concert food, this is far from the first time buying these rolls there and typically they are fine, though typically I buy them from the upstairs place, so lesson to be learned there. Anyway, I decided to go up, buy more drinks and an ice cream each to get the taste out of my mouth. When getting that, the barrister decided trying to watch the concert for herself was more important than my order. Thankfully her boss was there and made a comment about how I’d probably like to see the show too considering the money I paid, to which she scowled.

Anyway, I got in halfway through Katy’s first song. The first thing I noticed about the show is how little time she spent on the side of the stage we were on which was a little disappointing given how much we had paid for those tickets. I mean, I get it, the walkway was on the other side, but I feel if both sides are paying the same amount of money, there should be equal viewing... then again, I suppose you could argue that because we had the b side stage on our side, that should make up for it.

I’m going to be honest with you, the second half of the concert was far superior to the first to the point it felt like 2 different shows to me. Perhaps this is because I’m not a fan, but the first half felt underwhelming at best and awkward at worst. Watching Katy sing Teenage Dream in what I could only describe as a ‘40 year old business mother’ outfit while girls who looked like they jumped straight out of her California Girls music video danced around her was weird. Even her in the same outfit without the jacket felt younger and probably would have fit the song better. Likewise, her having an extended skit with the superbowl shark felt like a strange attempt to be like “Yeah look at me! I know all the memes and can laugh at myself!”. And her ‘being angry’ at Australian culture really just made me go “... do you really not have enough hits that you have to fill your time with this?”. But once again, maybe I’m just not getting the joke because this is not my fandom. I will however say that I think the effort Katy went to to recognise her band and dancers was great and a trend I hope continues with all artists.

For me the show really started to pick up with Deja Vu. The visuals went from meh to anywhere from cool to gorgeous for the rest of the night. The stage work, including the dancer on the pole felt like they added to the arrangements. Hell, even the parts in between acts felt more engaging and exciting.

My personal favourite moment of the show was watching as she sung Wide Awake sitting on that planet making her way to the b stage. It looked absolutely gorgeous and felt creative to the point where it’s definitely one of the best ways I’ve seen an artist go to their b stage. And while I wished she would have sung Thinking Of You over See Me Into You after hearing that she did for some shows this tour, the moments kept coming. Watching Katy reach out her arm first to hold her fans hands, inviting an 8 year old girl on stage and especially reassuring the girl that she could be a singer if she wanted was heartwarming. Hell even cracking a joke about drugs after hearing that 8 year old say she saw a kangaroo jump on its head felt genuine in a way the first half didn’t. Quite frankly, the only thing I would have changed about the second half of her set is that with it being the final encore song, I wish that she would have sung the majority of Firework on the main stage, only going up the runway at the end rather than doing 90% of the song there.

All up, if I had to compare it to the concerts I typically go to, I’d have to say that the first half felt like Taylor Swift’s 1989 tour; very business minded and very clear that she was trying to prove/achieve something whereas the second half felt more heart filled mixed with energetic, almost reminiscent of the Speak Now tour. In terms of whether I’d go again, if mum wanted to, I’d probably tag along. However, I’d be reluctant to buy VIP tickets again.

#katy perry #witness tour

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enchantedlovestory · 6 years

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I know the majority of you won’t read this, but that’s okay.

At first I was really excited to make a tumblr dedicated to my favorite artist and role model of 11 years. It was as if I was reliving the joy I felt at 11 years old listening to Tim McGraw for the first time. The feeling of falling in love all over again. I laughed at the jokes and ignored the drama but the drama is starting to overtake the good

I log on and just see endless disagreements and fighting. “Taylor isn’t doing enough” “tickets and merch are too expensive” “why isn’t she touring here” “you can only meet Taylor once” “it isn’t fair that I haven’t met Taylor yet” “Taylor nation sucks” and so on..

It’s exhausting coming onto to this blog that was once my escape.

I just wanted a place to talk to people who adore Taylor as much as I do, because I can’t talk about her music with my friends or family. I didn’t come here to argue about stupid pointless shit.

Adapting to change is apart of being a Taylor Swift fan. Sometimes it sucks. Taylor is one of the biggest pop stars in the world. Her tickets and merchandise will be expensive. She is playing in stadiums not the local Strawberry Festival where tickets were a max of like $40 (just sayin’ I am still bitter my mom didn’t let me go cause guess what.. the next year my girl was selling out arenas and I definitely could not afford tickets)

Not everyone will be able to go to the concert (whether it’s because of location or price). I will be sitting on the sidelines watching all of the tour videos for another year too.

And no. It is not because I couldn't get into presale. I busted my ass watching videos every single day for over a month and only bought two albums, but at the last minute my family had some unexpected financial problems and my mom couldn’t afford it so she asked me to help and I gave her everything I had in my savings account.

Another era, no concert. But it’s not because of Taylor. It’s because life happens and sometimes it just sucks.

And all of the negativity is not helping how shitty I already feel. So please ya’ll can we go back to the jokes and funny pictures of our favorite girl.

#ranting #sorry #personal

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pieceofmyheart8 · 7 years

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Crookedly in Love - Chapter Forty (A Shawn Mendes Fan Fiction)

Chapter Forty

Shawn and I were going on Taylor Swift’s tour together today. I was dreading everything about it. How we had to write songs together, sing a song on stage together, pretend like we were dating. Oh god, we had to pretend like we didn’t remotely cringe every time we were in one another’s presence.

I rubbed my hands together, nervously. We were on the same tour bus, in close quarters. What were the odds we were going to end up fighting? Probably pretty good.

The song he had written – Stitches – had gone viral. It had done better than any other hit we had produced. It soared up to number one on the charts, and I had nothing and everything to do with it all at once.

The reason why it sky rocketed to such high proportions was because his fans thought it was a diary entry of his. That there was absolute truth in it. That I had metaphorically ripped his heart open.

“Are you bringing your guitar too?” Shawn asked, as we loaded the tour bus.

I walked down the steps from the hotel and nodded. “Yup, packed it.”

“Good.”

We kept shuffling items back and forth, back and forth. We were incredibly cordial with one another, especially when the crew was around helping us load things in.

“And do you have notebooks?” Shawn wondered.

“Tons,” I answered. “Not that you’ll let me write anything anyways.”

“Hm, what was that?”

“Nothing.”

We continued on, until most of the suitcases and equipment had been packed tightly in the storage space of the tour bus. I took a look at the five tour buses ahead of us with Vance Joy and his equipment, other dancers and crew, while Taylor Swift rode up in the front bus.

As I was putting my hair up in a ponytail, we heard someone from behind us.

“Hi guys!”

We turned around and there stood Taylor Swift. I almost dropped my bag. I was in pure shock. I never thought I was ever going to meet her, let alone see her on our first day leaving for tour.

“Shawn,” she squealed, giving him a hug. He wrapped his arm around her, awestruck.

These are the times I wished we were friends. In any normal circumstance, he would’ve looked over at me with pure bliss. But not today.

She looked over at me. “Julia, so nice to meet you.”

She knew my name. How cool was that? I tried to play it cool, as I gave her a friendly hug. She was so tall and gorgeous.

“Taylor, honestly, it’s so, so nice to meet you. Thanks for having us along,” I said, trying to steady my breath.

“What?” she asked, nudging me. “I’m lucky to have you guys! Just listened to Stitches on my way over here.”

I tried not to make a face.

“Pure genius. It’s been stuck in my head. You guys are such a team,” she continued on.

I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t write it.

“Thanks,” Shawn cut in, thank God. “Wouldn’t know how to write songs without Julia.”

“You guys are the cutest,” Taylor gushed. “Well, Julia, Andrew tells me you aspire to be a songwriter. Sounds like you’re a pro! I’d love to chat with you about where you get your ideas from.”

“Yeah, well, I mean,” I was flustered. “I would actually love to get advice from the master! You’re a legend.”

She laughed, humbly. She probably got this all the time.

“Yeah, I’ll set something up for us. Well, guys, it was so nice meeting you. And I love that you’re dating and not afraid to show it to the public. You’re just doing you guys. That’s awesome.”

Shawn instinctively put his arm around me. I grabbed his hand, convincingly. We were getting good at this.

“Makes this whole experience that much better,” Shawn added.

“You are both the best. Ugh. Stop. This is my goal,” she laughed. “My friends and I are having a party tonight. Probably going to be something nerdy or geeky or end up singing karaoke. You should join.”

“Oh awesome, thanks,” Shawn said.

She left with a wave, as she walked past about a million photographers trying to get her picture. She just smiled and flounced away with such poise and grace.

Shawn stared after her in deep thought.

“Want to get on board?” I asked, climbing up the stairs.

He looked over at me. “Hmm? Oh yeah, coming.”

As we started to sit down, opposite of each other, he seemed to think better of it. He stood up and sat beside me, closer than I expected.

“Uh, can I help you?” I wondered. I was confused. We were away from the cameras, away from those who thought we were dating.

“Look, Julia,” he started. “I know you hate me, and I am not your biggest fan.”

“I could argue that you have no right to be mad.”

“Yeah, well, it is what it is,” he said. “But, we are never going to get anywhere if we are super cordial and awkward around each other. You want to use this tour as leverage to launch your songwriting career and I want this tour to launch my music career.”

I nodded.

“You saw Taylor. She was so poised, so graceful, so together in front of the cameras. She can do whatever she wants behind scenes, but when she’s out in the open she presents herself extremely well. No matter what’s going on in her personal life. She suppresses it, hides it, and does what she has to do to keep her image at bay.”

“So?”

“We’re not good at that. We keep everything out in the open. We fight out in the open, wear our hearts out on our sleeves. Everyone knows everything, and it’s not professional. If we keep making and breaking our image, no one is going to take us seriously.”

I sighed because he was actually making sense.

“So, we need to be more like her. More reserved, better at pretending, better at keeping it all in,” he urged. “We can act like the happiest people in the world once we get off the bus. Like we love each other, like nothing gets to us, like we’re unbreakable.”

“Right,” I added.

“And as soon as the cameras go away, we don’t even have to talk to each other. You can hate me, you can ignore me. Whatever you want. I’ll ignore you, let you have your own life away from me. We’ll get what we want at the end of this tour, and then we can go our separate ways.”

That did seem to make sense to me. Play the crowd, play the label, play everyone, but in reality, look out for only ourselves. Have a way out at the end of this. Split amicably and go the direction each of us wants.

I nodded. “Yeah. It makes sense.”

“And now, one person doesn’t have one leg up over the other. We’ll both be pretending.”

I nodded, sort of sadly. Who knew it would come to this? A friendship that had been built for years just to be brought down by the introduction of fame and music.

“Yeah. We’ll both be pretending,” I repeated. “But, no one knows except us. Not even Andrew, Nelson Paul, friends.”

He nodded in agreement. “No, everyone else will think what we want them to. We’ll tell Andrew tonight we’re all good again. Everyone will believe in us as the perfect couple.”

“Yup.”

I leaned my head back, as he got up to check on the rest of the tour bus. I quickly wiped the tear away that was sliding down my cheek.

I couldn’t rectify how we could come to this. From being my whole world, someone who loved me, who made me feel like something more to being worlds apart, becoming strangers.

He was my everything, and now he had to be nothing.

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes fan fiction #shawn mendes smut #shawn peter raul mendes #magcon #magcon fanfic #magcon imagine #Aaron Carpenter #carter reynolds #cameron dallas #camila cabello #taylor caniff #Jack Johnson #James McVey #jack gilinsky

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nerysvisesixmore · 5 years

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Do singers even know how to dance anymore? A comprehensive ranking.

I’m going to pose an age-old question: Are most pop stars just vocalists, or are they actual performers? Well, it depends. Some stars rely on pure entertainment value - Britney Spears, we’re looking at you. Others opt for a plain park and bark. These entertainers stand on the stage and sing (Sia, we’re looking at you). It seems, though, that pop stars are less dance-focused than they used to be. Once upon a time, Destiny’s Child, *NSYNC and TLC rocked the synchronized movements. These days though it’s Dua Lipa, Sam Smith and Demi Lovato, who excel at, well, standing and singing, which is totally - to borrow a phrase from Lady Britney - their prerogative.

Of course, as with all things, there’s a spectrum. On one end of the pop-star skills spectrum, you’ve got Beyoncé, who can shake it like no one. Then, on the other end, you’ve got Cher, who has a preference for the stationary performance. Ahead, we’ve ranked the world’s biggest pop stars in order of dancing ability. The rankings are utterly subjective and based on our personal opinion. There are singers and then there are performers. We’ll start at the lowest-ranked and move on to those that can really cut a rug.

Sia As much as we love Sia, no, she doesn’t dance. Sia has long succeeded on the pure power of her vocals and we cannot fault her for that.

Sam Smith Just in case you’ve never seen Sam perform, know this: He’s not a dancer and he doesn’t pretend to be.

Taylor Swift Taylor has never pretended to be a dancer. Instead, she prefers to strut around the stage and give sultry looks. The only reason she’s not last is because some have argued that her “awkward dancing” is actually pretty adorable.

Demi Lovato Demi, we love you. We love your vocals. We love that you’ve taught us there’s nothing wrong with being confident. We love that when you perform you just chew that mic and furrow your brow and it requires absolutely zero dancing.

Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus performs with shock value more than anything else. This is the gal that rode a hot dog during her Bangerz tour. But does she actually dance? Well, on her case, at least we can say she tries.

Selena Gomez SelGo is an important part of the pop music canon. She is not, however, a dancer, and we forgive her for that. The best of her stationary performances in this stellar, emotionally wrecked performance at the 2014 AMA’s.

Katy Perry The last of the true non-dancers, Katy gets some points for being an active performer. She performed at the Super Bowl next to an adorably sloppy shark, and in the end that counts for something.

Fifth Harmony It seems like this pop group might yet revive the girl group style (arguably, they already have) and a girl group isn’t a girl group if they don’t dance in formation. Be it for a few awkward moves, the “Work From Home” performers got a place on this list mostly for the music video to their most famous song.

Lady Gaga Gaga’s a noted yoga devotée, and, hey, she actually joins her backup dancers while they work up a sweat. At the 2017 Super Bowl, the New York native stunned with a pretty athletic performance. For that, Gaga, we award points.

The Weeknd The Weeknd, née Hikaru Tesfaye, is a box filled with surprises. A man with the power to awe you with his vocals and charm you with his moves. And who could forget that legendary AMA performance? It really gets the ladies going, y’all.

Britney Spears Look at this photo and tell me that woman isn’t a performer. Is she an incredible dancer? That’s up for debate. Is she an incredible singer? Also up for debate. (I’m being diplomatic here) Britney, the “princess of pop”, gets a place on this list because during her heydey, dancing was sort of her thing. Don’t believe me? I invite you to re-watch her performance at the 2000 MTV Music Awards.

Rihanna Rihanna’s “wish-I-cared” presentation has always made it seem as if she’s not much of a dancer (one gets the impression she’d rather light a joint and take a nap than a dance class). But her blasé attitude belies her skills. The Barbados native is a slinky dancing beast as well as a slinky singing beast.

Bruno Mars Part of Bruno’s charm is his old-school performance style. He’s a good dancer - one of the few man pop stars that actually can - and a flair for a fabulous tune.

Ciara Arguably, Ciara is more of a dancer than a singer. The performer has a background in professional dancing and probably could have pursued a career as a dancer and become just as successful as she is now.

Nina Morizono Ah, Nina. The newcomer who just burst into the scene did so with some fantastic moves to back up her vocals. Those damn, God damn vocals. She could be an obvious win, if it wasn’t for the fact that, well, she’s not Beyoncé.

Beyoncé Did you think it would be anyone else? Queen B is the consummate performer. She sings, she dances and, best yet, she’s been doing this since the 90s. There might still be a day when Nina reaches the first spot, but that day is not today.

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mikeyg1985-blog · 6 years

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Top 20 Albums of 2017

Another year; another top albums list! I was both eager and hesitant to start off 2017, but I trusted that music would be the only thing that got me through the year - and for the most part, it did. 2017 was a pretty eventful year and the music was no exception. There were a ton of anticipated releases from some of the biggest artists and some very strong debuts - even though, aside from Kendrick Lamar's DAMN. there was no clear blockbuster. Here is the list of my favorite albums to come out of 2017.

20. Incubus - 8

Incubus has been a staple in my musical journey for many years, but by the time the band got to 7th album, If Not Now, When?, Incubus sounded nothing like the band who burst on the scene in 1997 with S.C.I.E.N.C.E. - they sounded old and tired. 8 doesn't necessarily sound like the band who gave us classics like 'Pardon Me,' 'Drive', or 'A Certain Shade of Green', but Incubus did come back from their hiatus sounding excited, inspired and fresh. A happy return.

Check out: 'State of the Art'

19. Eidola - To Speak, To Listen

I was introduced to Eidola's To Speak, To Listen from a new blog that I'd discovered over the spring. I'm embarrassingly ignorant of the many different sub-genres that Eidola might be categorized under - but I do know when I hear something that I like. To Speak, To Listen is one of those albums that sounds fresh no matter how many times you listen to it, because there's always something new to discover. I've been spinning it for the better part of the year and I still don't know it like I know the back of my hand. The album has recently been released in its instrumental form. A stunning album from start to finish.

Check out: 'Tetelestai'.

18. Sampha - Process

When Sampha released his breakthrough album, Process, I was feeling pretty vulnerable as I'm pretty sure a lot of people were feeling in the earlier months of 2017. I was looking for something that I could really relate to, emotionally. I latched onto Process because of its honesty of family, friends and ultimate love of music. 'Kora Sings' and '(No One Knows Me) Like the Piano' take me back to being in my room all day and recording my little 'albums' on a boombox. Sampha's voice is a breath of fresh air from a lot of the other voices clouding up the airwaves. Process is a fantastic debut.

Check out: '(No One Knows Me) Like the Piano'

17. Lindsey Buckingham/Christine McVie

I wasn't too excited for the release of this collaborative effort between Lindsey Buckingham and Christine McVie. First, because Christine McVie was finally back in the band and yet Stevie Nicks just couldn't be bothered to make a new Fleetwood Mac album because she's supposedly focusing on a new album and touring - again. So, while we have hundreds of iconic artists dropping like flies, we have to hope no one passes from the most successful line-ups of Fleetwood Mac and wait for another album. I also think it's stupid that they can release a Fleetwood Mac album if it's just Lindsey and Stevie - but not Lindsey and Christine?!? Secondly, I wasn't too impressed with first single, 'In My World'. However, Lindsey Buckingham/Christine McVie proved to be one of the most surprisingly enjoyable albums of 2017. It may be a bit too much of a Buckingham project, but McVie (who was always the sweet balance to Buckingham and Nicks) shines through. Although there is nothing groundbreaking (when you create albums like Rumours and Tusk, do you really need to prove anything?) Buckingham/McVie feels like visiting old friends.

Check out: 'Red Sun'

16. Beth Ditto - Fake Sugar

Beth Ditto's Fake Sugar was a largely overlooked album this year - but it's a gem. Ditto says that this is her 'Southern album' - largely inspired by the music she listened to growing up. Fake Sugar's hooks and sweeping sonic palate is impressive for The Gossip front-woman's first solo effort. With bops like, 'In and Out' and 'We Can Run', it's a shame that Fake Sugar got pushed under the rug.

Check out: 'We Can Run'

15. Dreamcar - Dreamcar

The self-titled debut from super-ground Dreamcar (No Doubt minus Gwen Stefani and AFI's Davey Havoc) was the soundtrack to our summer. Dreamcar's appeal is that it is a low-stakes album and the band have no shame in creating some of the best '80s inspired hooks since Duran Duran's Rio. First single, 'Kill for Candy' should have been a sleeper summer hit - but alas, that went to 'Despacito' and Charlie Puth.

Check out: 'Kill for Candy'

14. Tyler The Creator - Flowerboy

Flower Boy was not on my 'anticipated release' radar, but I really respect Tyler The Creator's honesty throughout the album. Over the course the album, Tyler gets to the core of his isolation as he comes face to face with what has molded him in the man he is today. He spews wisdom to younger generations while taking his own advice and finally lets himself shine. Flower Boy is a lot more complicated than its surface suggests, but as the album continues it is evident that Tyler has found the perfect balance.

Check out: 'Where This Flower Blooms'

13. Beck - Colors

Colors was one of the most highly anticipated releases in 2017. When Beck took home the Grammy for Album of the Year with his album, Morning Phase, I was just as shocked as everyone else - mostly because I didn't even know that he was still making relevant music. When 'Dreams' was released as the lead single in 2015, I was really excited to hear more! Who knew we'd have to wait until the fall of 2017 for a full album?!?!

Colors is not a perfect album - although it did meet my expectations. The album suffers from being inconsistent and the first batch of songs fail to really keep the listener's attention. The better material is found on the album's B-Side where Beck shows off his pop hook chops without shame. It may not be his most consistent album, but he's never sounded happier.

Check out: 'Up All Night'

12. The War on Drugs - A Deeper Understanding

Another hotly anticipated album of 2017 was The War on Drugs' A Deeper Understanding - and it did not disappoint. When the 11-minute lead single, 'Thinking of a Place' was released in early 2017, I was thrilled because 2014's Lost in the Dream was one of my Top 5 favorite albums of that year. On A Deeper Understanding, Adam Granduciel and Co. refuse to dial back on their major-label debut and offer the ultimate Los Angeles album. The only reason that A Deeper Understanding doesn't rank higher on this list, is because A Deeper Understanding expands the sound found on Lost in the Dream - making the sound feel more like home instead of something fresh and new.

Check out: 'Holding On'

11. Linkin Park - One More Light

I understand if anyone wants to argue if wants to quit reading about my musical opinions after seeing One More Light on this list. First off, I don't think it's a perfect album - it's arguably the laughing stock of Linkin Park's catalog. However, once you get over the simplistic pop sheen and structure - it's not half as bad as it sounds on paper. When you take into account that these were the last songs to be released by Chester Bennington, they become a lot more real. What made Linkin Park one of my favorite band's is that Chester was a voice for those of us who felt we couldn't scream, shout or cry out. He made it acceptable for male rock singers to emote.

One More Light is on this list because after you strip away its pop sensibilities, it is Linkin Park through and through. It's flaws make it only better over time.

Check out: ' Talking to Myself'

10. St. Vincent - MASSEDUCTION

MASSEDUCTION is the closest to pop as you're going to get from St. Vincent. Although the indie-songstress had toyed with pop hooks on her 2015 self-titled album, Annie Clarke went balls-to-the-wall pop when she stuck model Charlotte Kohl's ass, clad in bubble-gum pink tights on her album cover. Everything screamed Pop, with a capital P, in anticipation for MASSEDUTION. The truth is - St. Vincent does what she does best with a more pop-leaning sound. It's not completely pop in the same way that Beck went pop on Colors, but it's just pop enough that you know Taylor Swift is going to steal it for the masses to eat up on her next album.

Check out: "New York"

9. Silverstein - Dead Reflection

There's nothing more depressing than seeing a band beating a dead horse. Thankfully, Silverstein isn't one of those bands! Aside from a few albums, I never kept up with Silverstein's career and only stumbled upon Dead Reflection from the hype on various music blogs. What I discovered was yet another reason why my-scene-was-so-much-better-than-yours for all of the younger music fans who are infatuated with the new 'scene' bands (Yes, I'm arrogant about my emo bands). Scene wars aside - Dead Reflection is an impressive album from a band who can still pull a few new fans. It's also one of their strongest efforts - you can tell that Shane Told poured his heart and soul into every lyric. There are also more pop hooks abound, making Dead Reflection the perfect companion to their sophomore album, Discovering the Waterfront.

Check out: 'Lost Positives'

8. LP - Lost on You

I was absolutely thrilled that LP was releasing full-length album, Lost on You, this year. I had no idea that the album had already been released in 2016 everywhere else except the US. Imagine my surprise that the song, 'Lost on You' had become a global hit everywhere except The States! That's no surprise though.

I fell in love with LP's last album, Forever for Now, so much that it depressed me that I had no one else to celebrate LP's music with, because no one knew who she was. I am so happy that LP has had success all over the world because her music is so deserving of success.

If there was one downfall with Forever for Now, it was that the sound and LP's unique vocals were constantly battling for room - and it was a bit overwhelming at times. Lost on You sheds that big sound allowing LP to branch out with different sounds while still keeping her pop sensibilities at her core. The album's center is 'Lost on You', and while there are multiple standout tracks along the way - nothing really tops the successful worldwide single.

Check out: 'Lost on You'

7. Lorde - Melodrama

Lorde had a lot to prove with Melodrama. Her debut album, Pure Heroine, not only made her a superstar, but also helped the songstress win a multitude of awards at the young age of 17 - making her one of the most promising artists since Adele. That's a lot to live up to. She's supposedly also good friends with Taylor Swift - so everyone is constantly comparing them and while Swift continues to break sale records, Lorde's Melodrama proves that she's yards ahead of her peers. Instead of getting super experimental, Lorde settles her analysis of the drama within a single house party - what else is a 21 year-old really supposed to be worrying about? There are tiny missteps along the way ('Hard Feelings/Loveless') but no complete stumbles on the album. From start to finish, Melodrama more than lives up to Lorde's promises.

Check out: 'Green Light'

6. Paramore - After Laughter

There was nothing more awkward than Paramore's out-of-thin-air video for lead-single, 'Hard Times'. Here was pint sized Hayley Williams singing about dark clouds and sadness over music that has never sounded more jolly and happy. I had very little expectation for After Laughter, because there are only so many line-up changes a band can have before they become a figment of the band that they originally were (The Motels, anyone?). But, I can honestly say - although Paramore sound nothing like the teens who gave us All We Know is Falling - After Laughter blew me away because it was the music that I really needed to hear at the time.

America - we've been through some shit recently, and 2017 was unbearable, at times. After Laughter is a whirlwind of depression, anger and forgiveness. Everything that I was basically feeling in 2017. I couldn't hang on to the bad - I had to acknowledge it and then let it go in order to move forward. After Laughter was the perfect soundtrack for that. I don't know what kind of demons Hayley Williams had to get out of her system - but I'm glad she did.

Check out: 'Told You So'

5. Kendrick Lamar - DAMN.

I love DAMN.

It's an album that I really had to wrestle with all year. But, I had to do that with his last album, To Pimp a Butterfly, as well. The best music isn't always something that instantly fall in love with. It's the music that opens itself up to you the more that you spend time with it. Lamar explores his role as celebrity while trying to stay grounded and true to himself on an album that can be interpreted in different ways; it's a completely different album if you listen to it from finish to start. What I take away from DAMN. it's that whenever rap music genuinely touches music listeners and the artist tries to use their platform for 'good' - there are always people trying to pull them down by using the same bullshit they've been spewing for years about rap and hip-hop being a bad role model for younger listeners. I've never been the biggest rap/hip-hop fan, but I know how to stop and listen to what is really being told to me.

For a year with no clear Blockbuster album - DAMN. is more than deserving of that title.

Check out: 'DNA'

4. SZA - CTRL

Hands down, 2017's most important breakout artist is SZA.

SZA begins CTRL informing her negligent boyfriend that she slept with his best friend on Valentine's Day. Elsewhere, SZA touches on the loneliness and utter despair of being the unwanted woman - in a way that other artists could not deliver this year. Never before, has the exploration of modern love sounded so groundbreaking and fresh. SZA is an important artist to keep your eye on because she has been bubbling under the surface for years. It's hard for me not to believe that much of the sound of Rihanna's ANTI was largely inspired by SZA.

Check out: 'Love Galore'

3. Acceptance - Colliding by Design

No one told me that Acceptance's Phantoms was such a beloved classic in the pop/emo music world. I remember the album very well - I loved it, but then they broke up. I may have heard that they got back together for a reunion tour but I had no idea they had recorded a new album when I saw Colliding by Design under the Spotify new releases tab - but I'm so glad that I decided to check it out.

Colliding by Design never left my rotation this year. While it is a re-introduction to a band that I really enjoyed when I was 20 years-old, it was also a testament to how much our lives change in any amount of time. Colliding by Design felt like catching up with friends I hadn't seen in twelve years and finding that their stories were my stories as well. Here's to new beginnings!...and put Phantoms on vinyl!

Check out: 'Come Closer'

2. The xx - I See You

I See You was the first great album of the year - if not one of the first big albums to be released in 2017. I've never been a big fan of The xx - but I was really intrigued with first single, 'On Hold.' Jamie xx really gives the band new life by finally coming to the forefront of the mix alongside his band mates. I See You is an album that I've enjoyed all year, as well. It was an album that I could put down at times and revisit whenever I was overplaying some other artist or album. I'm actually very surprised that it hasn't charted higher on other 'Best of 2017' lists. I think it's The xx's strongest album by far.

Check out: 'I Dare You

1. Manchester Orchestra - A Black Mile to The Surface

No opening line to an album has haunted me more than: 'I notice you when you're noticing me'. Manchester Orchestra's A Black Mile to the Surface is my choice for top album of 2017 because - to me - it's an honest look at the terrors and joys of marriage and fatherhood. With its vulnerably honest lyrics and cinematic sonic landscape, A Black Mile to the Surface is breathtaking and beautiful.

Opening song, 'The Maze' brilliantly analyzes the parent/child relationship and how each is 'a maze' to the other. I was a stay-at-home dad for 2 years, and there is nothing more frightening than realizing that your child picks up on every little thing that you do, whether you realize it or not - and your behavior shapes them. What makes the song more brilliant is that most of the lyrics could be from the perspective of the child or the parent.

At its core, A Black Mile to the Surface is a great analysis of relationships and how, as you get older; as you become a husband/wife/partner or parent - you realize how important all of these relationships are - how you must prioritize them; nurture them. Once I became a parent, I realized how precious time really is - and how your words, actions and the work you put into those relationships truly affect the people in them.

There is a re-occurring line that pops up in different songs, 'There's nothing I've got, when I die, that I keep' - and as selfish as we find ourselves, that's a very important lesson to learn in life. The materialistic things that we have; that we acquire throughout life - cannot go with us when we die. How we treat each other; the relationships that we build and nurture throughout our lives - that's what lives on. That's what people remember.

Check out: 'The Gold'

I created a playlist of all the tracks that's I've recommended from each album. Enjoy! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

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