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tunedtostatic · 3 years

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ain’t no safety coats, raft or river boats

Brian & Sana (plus a dash of Brian & Arkady and pre-Brian/Krejjh), 1.5k

This was supposed to be another triple drabble. It is not! Title is from “Can’t Be Too Careful” by Jennah Bell.

CW: Food, mention of minor injury, descriptions of deep bodies of water

Brian suppresses a sleepy morning yawn as he makes his way down the dim corridor of the starship Rumor. After two nights aboard, this path between the bathroom and the kitchen is still unfamiliar in a way that brings back memories of waking up in new apartments and the odd adjustment periods of still packed boxes and unfamiliar sinks and cabinets in new spaces that had abruptly become “home.”

Right. Just another new apartment. New bed. New shower. New, borrowed clothing—no boxes to unpack this time. New microwave. New cargo hold with thirty-five cases of bulk gourmet chocolate destined for the intergalactic black market. New bath mat.

In the kitchen, Captain Tripathi is at the stove, boiling a kettle.

New roommates.

“Morning, Brian.” Tripathi smiles at him, one of her dimples showing. “Tea?”

“I wouldn’t say no to a cup of tea?” Brian steps up to the counter next to her, opening the cabinet that he now knows holds the cereal. “Thanks, Captain.”

As Sana methodically unseals a package of vacuum-sealed bread, Brian realizes that this is the first time he’s been alone with her. Krejjh has been spending hours with her, learning the Rumor’s cockpit, and Brian’s first hour aboard included First Mate Arkady Patel walking him to the Rumor’s tiny medbay and carefully cleaning the cut on his cheek with a taciturnity that did not come across as unkind. But this is the first time Brian and Sana have been in a room together without the rest of their tiny new crew.

The toaster slot in the wall dings, and Brian watches Sana out of the corner of his eye as she spreads butter substitute on her toast. He’s known her for three days, two life-threatening calamities, and one crew dinner. He trusts her with his life. He doesn’t think he knows her better than he did the hour they met.

“Have you and Krejjh been settling into your cabins okay? I told them to let me know if they needed the temperature lower in there. As it is, one reg controls the whole ship, but I should be able to rig something up.”

“You can ask them when they wake up. But their energy levels seem pretty normal to me.” Brian smiles.

Sana smiles back, but as Brian pulls the milk out of the fridge, he has the feeling that she’s watching him, too.

He doesn’t think her question about Krejjh was, like, a test, with a right/wrong answer where she was seeing if he was…willing to speak for them, or something. He doesn’t really think it was any kind of deliberate probe, even to scope out something as general as how much he and Krejjh trust or know about each other. But he does feel like, every time they interact, Tripathi has been quietly getting the measure of him.

He doesn’t have the measure of her yet. He’s known other people who are both kind and tough. That isn’t a heavy lift. But there is another dimension to Sana’s kindness, something deep and quiet that undulates like an underground river.

“It has been nice to have some enthusiasm in the cockpit, I have to say.” There’s a twinkle in her eye, now. Right, Brian’s almost-joke about Krejjh’s energy levels. “It’s been a while since I’ve gotten to teach the Rumor’s quirks to someone new.”

As she reseals the butter substitute, she glances at him with a canny expression. “You know, she might not come out and say this, but I think Arkady is looking forward to have someone who might be doing, say, translation work at the kitchen table while she’s on one of her coding marathons, too.”

Brian smiles and nods, wondering if Sana, for all her perspicacity, has realized yet that her subtle skid-greasing in this realm isn’t necessary. You met some interesting folks in academia, even if most of them didn’t carry at least three guns at all times and have biceps the size of Brian’s undergrad coffee thermos, and you definitely met some interesting folks on Neuzo. Resultantly, some types of weirdness are easier for Brian to parse than others.

A few hours after a sweaty, out of breath Sana, Arkady, Krejjh and Brian had made it aboard the Rumor and into space, Sana was still flying and Arkady had vanished after her into the cockpit to help liaise with their contacts. Unfamiliar with the ship, Brian and Krejjh had stuck to the kitchen, talking quietly.

Arkady had appeared in the doorway with a faint scowl, looking Brian and Krejjh over for a second before going to the sink and silently filling two glasses with water. She’d walked to the table and set the glasses down, remaining standing.

“Important to stay hydrated.”

“Thanks, dude,” Brian said hesitantly.

Arkady grunted, staring impassively down at them for another few seconds. “We did a pot of pasta last night. Leftovers are in the fridge. It has rehydrated shellfish powder. Allergies?”

Brian shook his head.

“Microwave’s there.” Arkady pointed to the very obvious microwave. “Fridge.” The even more obvious fridge. “Cabinets. Help yourself to whatever, except the chamomile tea, that’s for Sana’s headaches.”

“Roger dodger,” Krejjh replied, in a cadence Brian could recognize as false cheer.

Arkady turned to look directly at Krejjh, and Brian tensed.

Arkady must have noticed that, because she turned and looked at him for a long second. Her eyes, he realized, reminded him of a deep mountain lake he had seen once on a visit to Earth. The water had been impossibly clear; you could see through it all the way down to the point where light no longer filtered through.

She reached for a chair and swiveled it in an easy motion, sinking down to straddle it backwards.

“I’m this ship’s security officer,” she said, as though this wasn’t functionally obvious from the five holstered guns, the two sheathed knives, the events that had introduced the two halves of the new crew to each other, or her thorough sweep for bugs when they finally made it to the Rumor. “That means that while you are part of this crew, you are under my protection.”

Brian had felt his shoulders relax, and Arkady had dropped her lakewater gaze, mumbled something about Sana assigning them cabins later, and spun the chair back around.

Then she’d bolted. Brian had smiled and squeezed Krejjh’s hand—trying to ignore the way this seemed to make his heart flip a little more every time—and gotten up to microwave the pasta.

The kettle starts to whistle, and Sana reaches a nonchalant hand to set it on a cool burner as deftly as if it was a teacup. Her arm musculature situation isn’t exactly shabby, either, which…yeah, working as a mechanic in the wartime shipyards would probably do that.

Then add ‘building a secret starship with your own two hands.’ Brian is still trying to wrap his head around that one. Becoming one of the only humans fluent in Standard Exo-Dwarnian after shiphopping to Neuzo for fieldwork, and then getting in the ill graces of the Dwarnian mafia and falling in l—becoming excellent friends with a deserting Dwarnian pilot probably wouldn’t be considered, like, that normal by most people? But Brian has never built anything larger or more secret than a poprocket that time in third grade, unless you count the less physical large-ness of his research, which was technically also a secret once the war broke out, and now that he’s thinking about it, if you gave each sentence of his thesis the weight of a rivet, it actually might be up there with the mass of a starship? Ha, he’s totally telling Krejjh that just to see the look on their face. No doubt they’ll have opinions on whether a chapter section is equivalent to one or two hull subsections.

“Mugs are in that cabinet,” Sana says easily, gesturing toward it.

“Got it, dude,” Brian replies, equally easily.

You don’t comfortably exist in a place like Neuzo, or for that matter a place like academia, if you expect everyone to present their whole self at all times. Besides, since Brian is now in effect depending on Tripathi’s astuteness for his own safety and Krejjh’s, it’s comforting to know that she knows how to keep an eye on layers of social interactions, even when that includes her interactions with him.

He hands off the mugs in a brush of cracked porcelain and calloused hands. The domesticity of working beside someone at a kitchen counter is unexpectedly comforting, too. He could almost be in the cramped galley kitchen of his last shared grad school apartment, or behind the bar with Alvie, getting ready for a shift.

He isn’t.

Sana drops the teabags into the mugs, pouring the steaming water carefully. “If you take sugar, I think it was last seen in the cabinet next to the fridge.”

Brian chuckles at her almost-joke about the dynamic chaos of her kitchen. The kitchen. Their kitchen. He’s going to be spending the next few days getting used to that. If Sana is an early riser, maybe he’ll spend the next few days getting used to mornings like this with her, too.

#tscosi #the strange case of starship iris #brian jeeter #sana tripathi #my writing #fic #crossposted to ao3 link in the notes

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jacepens · 3 years

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1: HamilTurn(you can differentiate if needed) or MCU, 2: Washette, 3: Anna Strong

And generally a fandom list would be nice to know what to pick from ;) (Love you♡)

You said HamilTurn or MCU and I say both, I'm going to try my best haha. But anyway, thank you!:) Apologies in advance if this gets rambly, but that's the point of this right? Anyway, for ease of scrolling sake, I'll probably put a cut if this gets long but don't worry, it's just me talking a whole bunch lol. Ok, thank you again!! <3 (love you too!)

1. Hamilton/Turn (fandom)

Favorite character: I have to say Lafayette for both. Oh and Mary

Least favorite character: I have no real reason behind this so sorry but Burr, and Simcoe for many reasons

5 favorite ships: washette, lams, hamliza, benwash, whamilton

Character I find most attractive: ...all. But I have to say overall Brian Wiles as Lafayette. That face just…🥺

Character I would marry: Mary Woodhull or Eliza

Character I would be best friends with: you know I'm not sure, but in an ideal world Lafayette (both versions) or Ben but I feel like we wouldn't be best friends. But also everyone, is that an option? Even some of the "villains" would have good stories to tell

A random thought: I feel like most people in the fandom now are so new (they joined in with the movie release!) and unaware of the uh atrocities of back in the day. And y'all are lucky, but those of us who know. Know. (yes, I was unbearable but that's ok because I was having fun, and despite what I just said: have fun in your fandoms even if you're "unbearable", just keep it welcome to all and enjoy the enthusiasm you have for it:))

An unpopular opinion: Oh boy. Maybe stop making quick judgments about people based on what they write/who they ship? There is a line, but I've genuinely never seen it crossed by anyone at least openly sooo just let people have fun? And don't say anything about something? Unless it's actually harmful but even then, keep it to a dm or something and have an open discussion. Just let people vibe, please? Especially younger fans. Just, I’ve seen a weird amount of negativity towards them. They’re kids having fun, we all used to be like that so please, be kind and patient. They’ll learn if they make a mistake. Ok? Ok cool:) (maybe not unpopular but still I wanted to say it)

My canon OTP: Am I allowed to say lams?

My non-canon OTP: washette, wow, who would've guessed? xD

Most badass character: Mary my beloved

Most epic villain: Robert Rogers hands down

Pairing I am not a fan of: no one murder me, but in general I'm just not a fan of jamilton. also whatever was the deal with Anna and Abe

Characters I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): um. Where to begin? Honestly I think every woman in Turn at one point or another, except perhaps Peggy in my opinion. Oh but especially Anna. Also Simcoe. With Hamilton, probably again everyone at some point, but the way Angelica was written just feels so overwhelmingly fictional it bugs me. (But at least Hamilton had some genuine relationships between women, not great but still)

Favorite friendship(s): Ben and Caleb, Washington and Lafayette (what?? yes, you fools. lol). It may sound a tad ~cringey~ but I generally like Hamilton's vibe with the boys, maybe it's just the gender envy, but it's kinda cute and fun.

Character I most identify with: well jeez, I won't lie but Washington. In both versions, except god knows I could never be that chill. Also a dash of Laurens.

Character I wish I could be: wow what a loaded question ummm. I don't want to be like him, but I want to be like in his position so Hamilton lol. Playing an active role but I know personally I am not cut out for a battlefield, so a desk suits me well.

2. MCU (fandom-that I am so out of date from, please take all of this with a grain of salt)

Favorite character: so when I was younger it was Tony Stark but now it’s definitely Wanda and T’challa

Least favorite character: ummm. I genuinely couldn’t tell you, I’m very out of date

5 favorite ships (canon or non-canon): wandavision, …ngl I can’t think of anymore, I honestly never shipped many and wandavision was like the only couple I remember really liking. Oh, I don’t know them but Loki/Mobius and/or Sylvie

Character I find most attractive: embarrassing confession time, Loki was my first bad celebrity crush. Wanda now and Shuri is cute. Also Sylvie

Character I would marry: if I could, Wanda

Character I would be best friends with: Vision and Peter Parker

A random thought: y’all it’s been so long since I’ve touched MCU I should catch up/refresh shouldn’t I?

An unpopular opinion: I don’t know if this is an unpopular opinion but I’m going to say it anyway. Personally, I really don’t like the movie Civil War, I think it’s what sorta made me disinterested in mcu. It’s been years since I’ve watched it so maybe I would have a completely different opinion if I saw it today, but at the time it just felt so...wrong? And childish? I literally don’t even remember why they were fighting or how that movie even ended (I feel like it just wasn’t satisfying??) but I think also, as a kid or teen watching that, it reminded me sooo much of the dumb drama that, you know, kids get into. I mean, getting your friends on someone’s side like that?? Like, I know they were mad but- but there are other ways of dealing with emotions??? And involving everyone's friends too? So yeah, it just felt off to me at the time, and looking back now, from what I remember, it just frustrated me. Especially as a kid who deals with dumb drama like that all the time, kids would want to see a better example especially from adult superheroes or at least not be reminded of the bs they have to go through sometimes. But, rant over, that’s all just my opinion:)

My canon OTP: wandavision

My non-canon OTP: ummm. I guess just Loki/Mobius and/or Sylvie lol

Most badass character: I have to say Natasha but actually there are many

Most epic villain: when I was younger I liked that Ultron was voiced by Robert California from the Office lol

Pairing I am not a fan of: I don’t know if it’s popular but I never liked Tony and Pepper. What happened with her?

Characters I feel the writers screwed up: I guess I’ll say Thor because I just felt such a weird difference in his personality that did not make sense to me

Favorite friendship: Wanda and Pietro!! Honestly I think a lot, there were a lot of good friendships but I can’t think of which ones are my favorite

Character I most identify with: ummmmmm.

Character I wish I could be: My gut says Thor

3. Washette (ship-bless you<3 get ready for rambles oh no)

When I started shipping them: So I first had the thought in 7th grade while my history teacher was talking about them and my little brain went: haha that’s pretty gay. (teacher keeps talking about them) wait a fucking minute, that is pretty gay! But it wasn’t until I got sucked into Hamilton that I really started actively shipping them by reading fics and what not, but something about them became an instant favorite. And later (little personal story time) I pretty much completely stopped reading fic and being active in fandom for years and actually, when I got my first panic attack that - no joke - lasted for 5 hours, for some reason my brain (as it’s decaying lol) said I want to go and reread all my favorite washette fics and also do what I was I always too scared to do. Write!! So that night I binged the fics and found myself falling in love again, feeling all the old passion I had for them again, and the next night (still very shaken) I wrote an outline of a good ol washette confession + kiss that was extremely thoughtful and good, and honestly, I have not actually used that outline yet! Maybe I’m saving it. But yeah, this is a long answer, but I have a weird amount of attachment to them and this ship, I wish I knew why too. <3

My thoughts: so many. Too many. First of all, I love that I have so many versions of them in my mind, right? When I started writing, I had never watched Turn but then I did and then it was like: hell yeah, another washette set. At this point, my brain has created it’s own unique version of them but it’s like, they’re so versatile! That’s one neat thing about this fandom as a whole, we get more than one character and personality and that’s just fun right?! More specifically on washette I mean, they’re just so sweet. Historically, their relationship is unique and cute, and you’d have to be a fool to think that to Washington Lafayette was just another friend. Even strictly platonically, it was something special and it’s so obvious I just love them. Ok. Enough thoughts for now <3

What makes me happy about them: the loooove, the comfort they found in each other, the fact that like every person at the time documenting them knew and understood they were special to each other like, they were just that in love.

What makes me sad about them: oh so much that I try to ignore lol. There is the one year when Lafayette went to France and all his letters to Wash are like: “I have not received one letter from you, but it’s ok, I love you and I know you love me too :)” WHO WAS NOT DELIVERING THESE LETTERS, I HAVE NAMES, NOW I WANT ANSWERS. Anyway, also just most things that happened when Laf went back to France. And then when he visited America in 1824 and visited Washington’s grave. Yeah. ow. (also, you know what, I have done too much research on this event. lmk if you would like a post)

Things done in fanfic that annoy me: Generally, I’m not annoyed by much in fanfic at least with them and what I’ve seen. I’m still nostalgic for the old school nonbinary Laf fics, so it ain’t those. Literally maybe it’s because I’m starved for content but I can’t really think of anything, I love it all.

Things I look for in fanfic: back to the whole starved for content thing, I am a library of washette fics but I think if I was to pick a certain thing that I would love it’s just um fluff? And honesty, if that makes sense. Love confessions are very good as well. Canon era, please :) pining but not too much that it hurts me lol

My wishlist: literally all my wips. If I could whisk them into existence I could die happy and knowing I have put a variety of washette content in the world. Something else though, more fics :’) I love writing but sometimes I want to curl up with a cozy, new washette fic like a cup of hot chocolate and be surprised and learn something new and just..yeah:)

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: what. Ok but actually, Martha and Adrienne because they are both honestly perfect for them and I love them too (I’m going to be biased, especially Adrienne)

My happily ever after for them: Can Lafayette just move the family to America? But also, it’s sad, but like I know Laf would be sad in America while France suffers. So...maybe a world where things in France go better and Lafayette gets to visit Washington more often and bring the family!! (Washington visit France too??)

4. Anna Strong (character)

How I feel about this character: I like her! She’s fun and…strong (oops lol) and she’s made some mistakes sure, but I feel like she did her best to learn from them and move on

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: Honestly, I know they didn’t have a lot of interaction in the show but Anna/Mary has potential. And Anna/Edmund

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: her and Ben and Caleb

My unpopular opinion about this character: I really can’t think of anything unpopular

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: in general, her having more screen time with less men you know? I mean like one-on-one kind of scenes. Also I would’ve liked to see at least her and Selah talk. Like, really talk. They never really did that, right? I just have so many questions about them

Favorite friendship for this character: Anna and Ben

My crossover ship: I have no idea

And well, I know it’s been a few days but for a fandom list, I’m just a weeb lol but here

Octopath Traveler (my beloved)

Fire Emblem: Three Houses

Star Wars

Natasha, Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812

Persona 4

Zelda (to a point)

Pokémon

What We Do in the Shadows

Sailor Moon

Literally anything historical

Ok!! I tried to add a lot because I’m not sure what you might know or not haha. But thank you again!! I had fun <3

#ask game

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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Scarface: Where Tony Montana Went Wrong

https://ift.tt/3oFBFiL

“All I have in this world is my balls and my word, and I don’t break them for no one,” Tony Montana declares in the 1983 gangster classic, Scarface. Yet Al Pacino’s antihero breaks both in his quest for money, power, and women. And just as he is on the brink of winning the trifecta, he is blown away like so much dust up a nose.

Did he lose because the Cuban mobster didn’t heed the advice of his first crime boss? Or is it because he just couldn’t stand to see his sister and his best friend wearing his-and-her pajamas? In truth, Montana’s fall can probably be traced back to when he learned to speak English by “watching guys like Humphrey Bogart and James Cagney.”

Directed by Brian De Palma, and written by Oliver Stone, Scarface is a remake of Howard Hawks’ vastly influential 1932 mob movie, so Montana’s explosive descent was preordained. Tony Montana continued Pacino’s run of criminal icons, which included Sonny in Dog Day Afternoon and the ultimate crime family head, Michael Corleone in The Godfather films. The actor supplanted Paul Muni’s Tony Carmonte as the recognizably scarred face of the title role. Pacino would go on to play Carlito in Carlito’s Way and Lefty in Donnie Brasco, but while each hoodlum brings a new facet to his rogues gallery, none of his gangsters ever achieve their ultimate desires. They almost all reach dizzying heights, and everyone of them sees the dream slip through their fingers. Still, Montana experiences perhaps the greatest fall of all.

The original 1932 film took place during Prohibition when crime was a viable means of survival. De Palma’s adaptation happens in the Reagan era, a time when lucky opportunists could get their lips around the spigots of cash before it got a chance to trickle down. Tony’s economic theory is much more succinct: “You know what capitalism is? Getting fucked.”

Scarface is a rags-to-riches-to-self-destructive fireball story, and nothing succeeds like excess. Montana’s first crime boss in America, Frank Lopez (Robert Loggia), has weathered the climate change from President Carter to the Gipper, and warns Tony to never “underestimate the other guy’s greed.”

In the original Howard Hughes production, Tony was an immigrant from Italy. In the Cold War era film, Montana is a refugee from Cuba. Their shared first mistake is to believe in the American Dream.

The World Is Yours

These words are flashed in both films and hit each of the two criminal aspirants as hard as the “give me your tired, poor, and hungry” promises carved under the Statue of Liberty. Scarface opens shortly after the Mariel boatlift, the 1980 exodus which followed Cuba’s economic crash. Montana seeks asylum, telling immigration officers he is a political prisoner who doesn’t agree with his country’s politics and owns nothing under communism. He says even American prison is better than his life on the Caribbean island. The officers note his criminal past, the telltale tattoo on his arm, and the scar on his face, which despite their insults was obviously not caused by oral sex.

In exchange for a Green Card, Montana and his friend Manny Ribera (Steven Bauer) assassinate Gen. Emilio Rebenga, who tortured the brother of the crime boss Lopez. Tony settles in sunny Miami. And when he gets out of the kitchen and into the heat of crime, he hits the ground running. “The World Is Yours,” after all. All you have to do is take it, and Montana has both hands out.

Frank warns his protégé, “The guys who last in this business are the guys who fly straight – lowkey, quiet; and the guys who want it all – chicas, champagne, flash – they don’t last.” But Montana is a meteor, bound to burn up in the atmosphere. He gets caught on the orbit of Alejandro Sosa (Paul Shenar), agreeing to supply cocaine from Bolivia independent of the other drug lords. Within a few years, Montana is doing so well, the feds target him for tax evasion.

Tony’s Betrayal of Frank Lopez

Montana’s betrayal of Frank Lopez is crucial to his downfall. Frank is the father figure who initially took a chance on Tony. He let him rise through the ranks, even as he tried to bite off more than he could chew. Frank’s biggest mistake is not making sure his underlings follow his sage advice. He also ignores one of his own commandments. Lopez underestimates Montana’s greed. He trusts Tony to accompany his trusted second-gun Omar Suarez (F. Murray Abraham) to Bolivia to meet with Sosa, and continues to let Tony operate after the druglord hangs Suarez from a helicopter.

The deal Montana makes behind Frank’s back is a major step toward the fall. The vow Tony takes never to betray Sosa ultimately leads to the last splash. Montana breaks his word to both of these men, and they bust his balls as a result. When Tony returns to Miami, Frank is suspicious over Omar’s death and his returning soldier’s independence. As Montana begins to build his own cocaine empire, Frank orders a professional hit.

For gangsters, the only good cop is a bad cop, and it is advisable to grease the wheels which move crime. Mel Bernstein (Harris Yulin) demands his take early in the film at the Babylon Club, which has the perfect cocktail napkins for bribery notes. Bernstein was willing to overlook the murders of Rebenga, “Hector the Toad,” and “that bloodbath at the Sun Ray Hotel.” Tony should have taken him at his word when the cop said he could clean up Tony’s Lopez mess.

Before Tony eliminates Frank, he is hungry. The money and drugs are not a distraction. After he begins to accumulate power, he lets his public profile rise and indulges in conspicuous consumption. Montana keeps a chained-up tiger in front of his compound just to let everyone know how powerful he is. There are real life precedents for this. Colombian drug lord Pablo Escobar imported hippos for his private zoo. Brooklyn mobster “Crazy” Joe Gallo kept a pet lion named Cleo in the basement of his headquarters. The scenario was also probably inspired by Miami’s most notorious drug lord, Mario Tabraue, whose predilection for wild cats was featured in the Netflix documentary Tiger King. But the most conspicuous acquisition Montana leveraged cut Frank the deepest.

It’s always a mistake to go after the boss’ girl. James Cagney’s Tommy Powers knew this in The Public Enemy (1931). James Woods’ Maximillian “Max” Bercovicz skirts this in Sergio Leone’s Once Upon a Time in America (1984). Montana sets out to steal Frank’s trophy wife, Elvira Hancock (Michelle Pfeiffer), from the moment he lays eyes on her, though he waits for the height of his reign to claim her. He does it as much to emasculate his former boss as he does it out of desire. It’s a betrayal equal to having Manny whack Frank while he pleads for his life.

The new couple is married by 1983, but with a marriage always on the rock.

Don’t Get High on Your Own Supply

Montana’s downfall is aided, abetted, but most of all mirrored in his descent into addiction. He probably took his first sniff from Elvira’s stash, but even as Montana bemoans, “I got a junkie for a wife,” he doesn’t get wind of his own problem. “Another Quaalude, and she’ll be mine again,” he reasons as the trophy wife climbs off the pedestal and up on a shelf.

Montana is in deep drug denial when Elvira leaves him after he openly complains she can’t have children because she is polluted with the yaya he’s been peddling. He should at least entertain the notion when she openly wonders if he would even be alive to raise their child.

In American Gangster, Denzel Washington’s Frank Lucas knows enough not to dip his nose into the supply. And while Pacino’s slide into the junkie aspects of his character is physically more subtle than Ray Liotta’s bug-eyed Henry Hill in Goodfellas, the results are just as devastating. When Montana was crushing the competition and bagging the Sandman, he had discipline. His mind gets muddled as his drug use spirals out of control. He makes rash decisions, dips into schizoid delusions, and succumbs to white powder paranoia. He can’t see his way through the haze to find alternatives. He walks right into the undercover cop’s money laundering bust.

The drugs dull his instincts. If Tony wasn’t high at the security command center, he would have seen Sosa’s soldiers encroaching his compound over the cameras. He had 10 bodyguards on the property, he could have positioned them defensively. The only thing his ultimate hit man is hiding behind is a pair of killer shades. He never should have been able to sneak behind Montana’s back. Tony also wouldn’t have gotten rid of his most trusted weapon.

Over and Underestimating Little Friends

Tony Montana’s right-hand man would have been the best, first defense against the Sosa attack. What Tony does to Manny Ribera is his worst action. The two are virtually brothers. Their bond goes beyond being partners in crime, it tightened in the “Freedomtown” concentration camp, and solidified in the Miami chainsaw massacre. It is because Manny is Tony’s most trusted soldier that he will never be good enough for Tony’s sister Gina (Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio). Tony’s saving grace is he believes he is doing all this to ensure a better life for his sister. Gina is supposed to represent the innocence he sacrificed, but she is also an unattainable sin.Tony’s mother doesn’t try to separate her children merely because her daughter might be swallowed in the criminal life; she is curbing what she sees as Tony’s unnatural urges.

Movies

The Godfather Coda: The Death of Michael Corleone Proves a Little Less is Infinitely More

By Tony Sokol

Movies

Al Capone: 9 Actors Who Played the Original Scarface

By Tony Sokol

Even if Tony doesn’t see Manny as a rival for his sister’s affections, he still sees him through the eyes of a fellow criminal, and a womanizing one at that. Tony is just like his mother, who rejects him. Tony brands his friend, and ultimately seals his fate with it.

The problem is Ribera wasn’t made to be a gangster. He is a loyal and efficient consigliere and soldier for Tony’s crew, but he would have been happier slapping his name on knockoff designer jeans. Besides the bubbling incestuous tension exacerbated by the coke haze, Tony doesn’t want to see his best friend happier than him, and denies Gina a real chance at the happiness he wants for her.

It’s the one thing Tony can’t buy for her. Gina and Manny fully expect Tony to be thrilled by their marriage. They were going to surprise him with the news. Tony’s incestuous protectiveness speeds his downfall. He murders Manny as a punishment. Gina is shot by Sosa’s men. Montana loses the two most important people in his life, and his inability to control his lusts destroy them all.

“Say Goodnight to the Bad Guy”

The biggest contributory factor in Tony’s downfall is his humanity. In The Godfather, Sonny Corleone advises his brother Michael not to take things too personally in business. When Lopez gives Montana the mission of delivering a bundle of cocaine to Columbian dealers, the rising mobster takes things very personally. The deal goes bad when Montana’s friend Angel Fernandez is murdered with a chainsaw in a scene so aurally graphic (watch it again, there’s no violence shown, only heard), it almost got the film an X rating.

It was allowed in the film in the name of education, Stone pointed to a DEA report which detailed the exact scenario. Tony teaches the Colombians a lesson in humanity. Not content with leaving with the cash and the coke, he kills every single gang member who had anything to do with Angel’s death.

Tony also lets his conscience be his guide when he’s working the GPI on a hit. Faced with serious jail time for his tax evasion arrest, he makes a deal with Sosa, who is also under fire. Montana agrees to fly to New York and assassinate a journalist before he can give a speech on Sosa’s organization. A bomb has been planted in the journalist’s car, and Tony is in charge of tailing until the perfect detonation point. But when Tony arrives on the scene to assassinate the journalist, he notices the man’s wife and children are with him. Montana not only breaks his word, the promise to protect his powerful partner, but he murders Sosa’s right hand man, Alberto, rather than kill the children playing in the back seat.

“I Always Tell The Truth. Even When I Lie.”

Tony Montana may have been the ballsiest and most charismatic of his machismo mob, but he wasn’t the brightest. He acknowledges his intellectual shortcomings, “I come from the gutter,” he admits. “I know that. I got no education, but that’s okay. I know the street.” But he doesn’t read signs. He can’t tell a freeway from a dead end. Frank Lopez may be a blowhard, but his words of wisdom could have been carved in the cement.

All the concrete Tony brags about has gone to his head, making his skull thicker than Pacino’s accent. Montana is brash and unbending, narcissistically adherent to only his own advice, and his own worst counsel. His anger blinds him, the battery is running low on his foresight, and he’s so flashy his enemies can see him coming from miles away. And he can’t see them when they’re standing close enough to breathe on the back of his neck.

Final Massacre

Of course the most obvious reason Tony ends up the way does is because he fights off an army by himself. He’s got quite an arsenal, and the coke probably makes it seem like a good idea at the time, but the decision to stay and fight is vastly miscalculated. Even if Tony had survived the last assassination attempt, Sosa’s men would always be hunting for him. It would have been a short hunt. Tony Montana would have died of a heart attack from all that coke he snorted.

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woah-were-halfway-there · 4 years

Note

You wrote something about being separated from Auston during quarantine, what about finally being reunited with him after all of this?

You know I had to make sure this extremely soft, right? 😉 Here’s the oriiginal piece :)

Word Count: 1.7k

It wasn't easy living in a pandemic for anyone. Life as everyone knew it changed drastically, and it was hard to say when things would entirely go back to the way they once were. It was hard staying positive sometimes.

When everything started going downhill back in mid-March, you got stuck in Toronto. Although you mainly worked from home, you were needed in the office for a few days to help figure things out with the upcoming closure as a precaution for the pandemic.

This happened just after all NHL players were given the ok to go home as opposed to staying in their team cities. You knew that it didn't make sense for Auston to stay in Toronto if he didn't need to and although he did offer to wait for you to be done work so you could fly to Scottsdale together, you insisted that he go be with his family as soon as possible and that you'd join later that same week. Simple as that.

But then the Canada-U.S. border closed and a travel ban was put in place. After that, you got stuck alone at yours and Auston's condo without a single clue of when you'd get to see your boyfriend in person again. And it sucked.

The first month was a lot of adjusting. Many people, including yourself and Auston, were sure this would blow over fairly quickly. You both followed the guidelines of social distancing and didn't go out unless you had to; being very considerate of your own safety and the safety of others. However, it didn't take long to realize that not everyone had the same mindset, which is why things remained so strict.

Although the thought of getting sick with the virus was terrifying, so was the unknown of what was going to happen next, or when society would finally function the way it used to. It was honestly really depressing, and the fact that you couldn't see any of your loved ones in person also made it so much worse.

You and Auston developed a bit of a routine, though. The two of you would FaceTime every day, usually multiple times, so that you would have some company. Seeing as he was in Arizona with Freddie and another friend, your FaceTime calls with the boys, and sometimes Auston's family were always entertaining, but you also loved the ones where it'd just be you and your boyfriend as well.

You still kept in contact with your friends and family too. Some were either still in or not far from the city, like Mitch and Steph, and you hated not being able to just go hang out with them to help keep your mind off things, but there wasn't much you could do. You were quite literally stuck, and damn did you miss your people.

You missed Auston the most, easily. It was ridiculously hard adjusting to him just not being with you for months on end. Sure, during the hockey season, the two of you were separated quite a bit when the Leafs had away games, but you always knew when he'd be back and had that to look forward to. During quarantine, you didn't have that.

Auston missed you too, more than anything, and constantly beat himself over the fact that he left without you even though it was not his fault. And you made sure to remind him of the fact that he had no control over anything that happened and needed to not be so hard on himself.

There were just so many things about the situation that made it seem like nothing could go right. It was a really tough time and felt like it was never-ending, but then something in the news instantly made you feel more hopeful.

Shortly after you had woken up one day, it was announced that the border between Canada and the States had finally reopened. Slowly, flights out of the country were becoming available but still extremely regulated to prevent further spread of the virus.

Whether or not the NHL season was going to resume was still unknown, so the game plan was for you to get to Arizona as soon as you could if the opportunity became available, and then it finally did.

You booked a flight to Phoenix, and just waited for the email saying that it was cancelled to avoid the spread of the virus, but it never did. So, with a day left before your flight, you packed up a bunch of your clothes and prepared yourself to be reunited with your boyfriend finally.

The flight from Toronto to Phoenix was a little long, but you've made it many times before, so it was no big deal. However, for some reason, you felt extremely anxious this time around.

Maybe it was the eerie feeling of an almost empty aircraft or just the fact that not everything was back to normal quite yet, and here you were leaving the country anyways. You weren't doing anything wrong, but it felt like you were.

Regardless though, you were on your way to see your man, and that was all that mattered to you at that moment.

Once you touched down in Phoenix, it took you a bit of time to get through customs. Again, with all the new procedures, and with you arriving from Canada, some other precautions had to be taken before you could get your luggage.

As soon as you were done doing everything you had to and grabbed your suitcase, you started heading towards the arrivals area of the airport and called Auston as you did so as a way to find out where he was.

The phone rang twice as you walked through the doors, but then you quickly hung up as your gaze fell on your boyfriend standing a few feet away with Freddie; and watched his face light right up as soon as he laid eyes on you.

Now, you never pictured yourself to be in one of those cliche movie scenes of an emotional reunion in an airport, but time seemed to slow right down as you rushed towards Auston, and that's exactly what it felt like. Luckily there weren't too many people arriving when you did, so it didn't take long for the space between the two of you to shrink, and you were soon launching yourself into his embrace.

You collided with him and held on for dear life as you were suddenly overwhelmed by the familiar scent of that cologne he always liked to use. It was really him, in person, and soon the waterworks started as he held onto you even tighter and placed a soft kiss to the top of your head.

"God, I missed you so much," he stated as he continued holding on to you and refused to let go.

It was then you finally pulled away a little bit just so you could look up at him, sniffling a bit as you did so. "I missed you more than I can even explain."

"Then it's a good thing you're here now because you are not leaving my side."

"Well, it's suggested that I self-quarantine for two weeks since I'm arriving from out of the country, so I really don't get a choice."

"Nope, you're stuck with me," he said while finally letting you go just so he could grab your suitcase, but made sure to hold your hand as the two of you started walking over to Freddie. "And big red."

"Hey Y/N," Fred greeted and pulled you in for a hug as well. "Glad you're here, now Auston can stop sulking and quit forcing me to binge-watch his stupid Netflix shows with him."

"Hey!" Auston said and glared at his teammate. "Rude much?"

"It's likely that I've already seen them," you told the two and shook your head. "There was literally nothing else to do back in Toronto."

"Yeah, I'm still not over the fact that you went ahead in watching Ozark without me," your boyfriend replied as the three of you walked out of the airport towards parking.

"Well, excuse me, someone has been too busy playing video games with Mitch. The other day I could barely get a conversation in with Steph because of Mitch yelling in the background over a goal that you scored on chel."

"It was a beauty of a goal, though."

"No, it wasn't," Fred chuckled before taking your suitcase from Auston and putting it in the backseat with him so that you and Aus could sit up front together. "At least with you here now, he won't bug me as much to hang out with him."

"Again, rude much," Auston grumbled as he climbed into the driver's seat and looked at Freddie through the rearview mirror.

"All I know is that I'm already looking forward to these two weeks to be up so I can at least see Ema, Brian and the girls. My sanity will need it after being stuck with you boys for 14 days," you replied.

"Wow," both scoffed defensively, making you chuckle again.

"Hey, but I'd take being stuck with you guys over being alone any day."

At that, Auston smiled and reached over to grab your hand and squeeze it, giving you a knowing look. "Good, cause I'm really glad you're here."

"Me too," you said and looked over at him, wanting nothing more to lean over and kiss him before he started driving. But for Freddie's sake, you decided to wait until you were home.

"God, enough with the sappy looks already," he groaned as you laughed, and Auston rolled his eyes. "I'm just messing, glad to have you here too, Y/N. And not just because Matt's will finally shut up about it now."

"Thanks, Fred," you told him with a smile before looking back to Auston. "Ready to go?"

"More than ready," your boyfriend replied casually, trying to play down just how excited he was to have you back, but you knew as soon as the two of you were home, he wouldn't be leaving your side. And you couldn't have asked for anything more.

#nhl imagines #nhl fanfiction #auston matthews #auston matthews imagine #auston matthews fanfiction #auston matthews imagines #nhl imagine #nhl writing #hockey imagine #hockey fanfiction #nhl rpf #nhl headcanon #toronto maple leafs imagine #hockey rpf

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mirkwoodshewolf · 4 years

Text

My #1 fan; Ben Hardy x child sister reader

*Author’s note*

Hey guys well here I am with yet another BoRhap boy story, this time it's of Ben Hardy (god it's been FOREVER since I wrote a story of Benny boi) but here it is. Now this is a Big Brother!Ben fic so unlike the last time there is NO ROMANCE, JUST FLUFFY PLATONIC GOODNESS THAT I CAN DISH UP!!!! Also in this fic I would like to point out that I do NOT OWN WORLD OF DANCE!! IT BELONGS TO J-LO AND NBC and all the people involved with the making of this amazing dance competition (if you haven't heard of it, go check it out the recent season is out NOW!!) Also watch the video links (from actual previous competitors on the show) to get a feel of what I'm seeing for the dances cause I am NOT dancer so I do not know all the moves that you dancers do out there, but I hope you all still enjoy this fic :)

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things

@waddles03

@psychosupernatural

@ixchel-9275

@simonedk

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels

@queensdivas

@platawnic

@queendeakyy

@geek-and-proud

@kairosfreddie

@iambambi5

______________________________________________________________

God it feels like it’s been forever since we’ve seen each other. From the time I got my first real American movie role in X-men Apocalypse, everything just seemed to fold right before me. From my biggest success of Bohemian Rhapsody (where I became best friends with probably the three greatest guys in the world), followed by the Netflix movie 6 Underground with Ryan Reynolds (and yes he’s just as hilarious and humble as he presents himself).

My life has just exploded from there, I try to be home whenever I can but when I do, she’s just as busy as I am.

Now that things have calmed down on my end and she’s preparing for an upcoming audition on a dance show, I can finally take the time to go see her (especially now since I’m in LA where she’s to audition). God I haven’t seen her in years, I wonder how she’s been?

“BENJAMIN!!!” Joe’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts and I turned to him.

“Hmm what?”

“Geez mate you were really out of it back there. We’ve been trying to get your attention for like 10 minutes.” Gwil said as he sipped his beer.

“Oh sorry guys, I was just—thinking.”

“And just who was it that had your attention so badly that you tuned out from the rest of the world?” teased Rami.

“Benjamin Hardy are you cheating on me!? Oh my god you’re cheating! Who is it! What’s their name!?” Joe accused me. I rolled my eyes as I shoved him.

“Is it a girl?” Rami asked.

“Oh great. Now I gotta get breast implants just to get you to notice me.” Joked Joe. We all looked at him strangely and I said.

“Not in that way, but yes I am thinking about a girl. My sister actually.”

“Your sister? You—never mentioned a sister before.” Gwil said.

“I kinda like to keep her separate from my name.”

“What you guys don’t get along?” asked Joe.

“No, no we get along amazingly. We’re each other’s #1 fans. But ever since Bohemian Rhapsody everyone now knows my name. I don’t want people comparing the two of us and making her feel like I’m outshining her. That’s one of the other reasons why I changed my last name from Jones to Hardy.”

“Is she an actress too?” Rami asked with a head tilt.

“No, no. She’s a dancer actually.”

“A dancer? Fancy.” Joe said in a posh accent.

“What kind of dancing does she do?” Gwil said.

“Mostly contemporary. But she also does ballet and a bit of Hip-hop. This one competition she was on, she actually combined ballet and hip-hop together. Got 1st place for it, and was the youngest winner to ever win the Glasgow dance competition.” They all whistled.

“She must be good then, how old is she?”

“She was 7 years old.” They all gaped at me.

“You’re joking right?” Joe said with wide eyes and a gaped mouth.

“No, not at all. In fact in her ballet school where she trains, she’s actually the youngest student to have been chosen to get a full run scholarship to the London Academy for Dance. Once she’s 12 years old, they’ll give her the full ride.”

“Wait, wait, wait. How old is she now?” Gwil asked.

“She’s nine.”

“So they’re gonna hold onto her scholarship for another three years?” Rami said. I nodded.

“Damn she must be good for them to do that.” Joe said with a sigh.

“She is. Fell in love with dancing at 2 years old and did her first pirouette within the first three months of joining her ballet school.”

“Geez, and my sister couldn’t do one till she was about 9.”

“Guess my sister’s got yours beat.” I teased to Joe.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah don’t rub it in.”

“So Ben, when was the last time you saw her?”

“Five years.” I said as I sipped my beer solemnly.

“Wait what? You haven’t seen your sister in five years!?” Joe gawked.

“I told you guys, ever since X-men it’s been one project after another. And even when I did have a break, she was out of state doing a competition either with her school or as a soloist. But—hopefully that’ll change in the next few weeks. She’s actually here in LA.”

“She is?” Rami said. I nodded.

“Yeah. She’s auditioning for some sort of dance show they film here.”

“So you think you can dance is doing a junior competition now?” asked Joe.

“No not that one. It’s a recent one. They’ve only done like 3 or 4 seasons of it. I think it’s called Dancing world…..no World of Dance. That’s it.”

“Oh that show is awesome! I’ve auditioned for that show.” Joe bragged.

“No you haven’t.” Rami exclaimed at Joe’s lie.

“I’m serious I auditioned during their first 2 seasons. Couldn’t commit cause of obvious reasons.”

“I’m calling BS on that.” Gwil said as he leaned back.

“Uhh excuse me; who got the part of the Disco Deacy? Me. Who perfected the BAB dance? Me. I’m perfectly qualified to be a dancer. In fact why don’t we go see your little sis and she can be the judge!”

“What?”

“You heard me, right now! Let’s go see her!” Joe said as he downed his drink and stood up.

“Hang on guys……”

“Well besides of Joe’s reason, I think it’d be fair for us to meet your little sis. I mean we’ve practically seen each other’s siblings. You all met my twin Sami and my sis Jasmine.”

“I agree with Rami, and you all met my older brother at my engagement party.”

“And of course you all met John and Mary at the BoRhap premiere.” At this rate I knew I wasn’t going to win this argument.

“Fine. I—guess I’ll call up my mum and ask her where she’s rehearsing at.” I just hope (y/n) doesn’t mind having my friends come and see her rehearse.

Cause when she’s in rehearsal mode, she can be quite the little jumpy bug.

*My POV*

Two days. I had two days till the Qualifier rounds for World of Dance. I had my routine down to the T and my mum says it’s perfect (but she has to say that she’s my mum), however I’m still doubting myself on some of the moves, or if I’m not showing enough emotion (cause J-Lo loves herself some dancers who can convey emotion).

I was sitting in the rehearsal room having myself a break after rehearsing my dance for the past half hour. I had this studio slotted for a 45min. rehearsal so I had about 15 minutes left to practice.

“I swear each time you dance your routine, you get more graceful every time.” Mum said as she came in with some lunch.

“Thanks mum, but is it good enough for the judges?”

“I know it is.” I chose not to respond to her. Like I said she has to say these things, but I know there are some flaws to my dance. I didn’t stick the landing hard enough, I tripped up on the landing from the 540, my leg wasn’t straight enough with I lifted it outward, so many flaws. “Oh I forgot, there’s a little surprise waiting for you downstairs.”

“Mum I—I don’t know. I mean I haven’t even found out if I’ll make it into the next round.”

“Trust me love, you’ll like this surprise.” She raced over to the door and opened it and soon coming in my brother and his three friends from his film Bohemian Rhapsody.

“Benny!” I cheered as I hopped off my seat and raced right over to him. A huge smile spread across his face as he extended his arms out and caught me as he picked me up and spun me around.

“Hey kiddo oh it’s been forever! Oh you’ve gotten so big since I last saw you.”

“I missed you Benny.”

“I missed you too kiddo. God you have no idea how much I missed you.” he said as he repeatedly kissed the top of my head.

“Your brother happened to be in LA so we planned a little surprise visit for you.” mum said as she closed the door.

“And I hope you don’t mind that I brought a few friends over.” Ben said as he gestured towards the three actors who starred with him on Bohemian Rhapsody.

“I don’t mind. I’ve heard so much about these guys that I figured it’s about time I met them in person.” He set me down and I walked up to the actor who played the legendary Freddie Mercury. “Rami Malek, right?”

“That is correct, and you must be his famous little dancing sister.”

“Well I wouldn’t call myself famous yet, but I hope to be one day.” We shook hands with each other. I then moved onto the next one, the tallest out of all of them who even looked like Brian May even without the wig. “Now forgive me if I pronounce your name wrong, my Welsh isn’t that great. Is it—Gwilym.” I pronounced the “I” like I was saying “ice cream”.

“Close, it’s pronounced Gwilym. Think of the “wi” like will.”

“Right, sorry.”

“No worries—(Y/n) right?”

“Yeah.” We both shook hands with each other and I told him, “Can I just say, I thought you were phenomenal as Brian May.”

“Well thank you love, I take it you’re a Queen fan as well?”

“Yeah. You can thank Benny for that. He introduced me to the band when I was a little girl. I even did a dance routine to White Queen when I was around 4-5 years old.”

“Wow, if you remember it, we’d sure like to see it.” Rami said.

“I think I might remember it. Again it was a while ago so I might improvise something if I don’t remember the whole routine.”

“No problem there.” Rami said with a warm smile. I then moved on to the last actor who played (my personal favorite member of Queen, John Deacon).

“So you’re the famous Joe Mazzello that my brother won’t shut up about.”

“Sure am kid. And you’re the world time dance champion and scholarship holder for the best London dance academy ehh?”

“You could say that.”

“Well little missy I happen to be a dance champion too, and I challenge you to a dance off!” Already I could see Ben, Gwilym and Rami either shaking their heads or rolling their eyes as Joe’s proclamation.

“This wouldn’t have anything to do with my brother would it?”

“And if it is?” questioned Joe in a challenging manner.

“No reason.” I shrugged. “Just hope you’re prepared to lose.” The guys all oooh in a challenging manner and that’s when Joe nodded along.

“Okay, okay little one. But I’m giving it all I got so you better watch out.” I gestured that the dancefloor was all his. Gwil went over to the stereo and went through my Spotify app till he found the song that Joe wanted to dance to.

He chose Wham’s ‘Wake me up before you go-go’. I’ll admit he has some pretty good moves—for an amateur. After doing a minute and a half of his little on the spot dance moves, he posed as he panted heavily.

“It was okay.” I shrugged.

“Okay?”

“Yeah I mean—it was…..cute. It was cute. For like an Instagram or TikTok video.”

“Okay then little miss Prima donna. Show me your little ballet moves.” Challenged Joe. Oh he don’t know me very well, do he? I first took off my ballet shoes and put on my sneakers.

I told Gwilym which song to play and he nodded to me that he would wait till I was ready before he played the song. I now stood in the middle of the room and took a deep breath before turning to Gwilym. He nodded and pressed his finger on my phone to play the song and soon YG’s “One time coming” began playing.

Play video

With this song I unleashed my Hip-hop background. Poppin and locking my body when needed, going in time with the beat, even doing things with my limbs to which no one had ever seen (like this one move where I had my right arm out and only by moving my left index finger, either the upper or lower portion of my arm would move up).

The guys and my mum were amazed and just in awe at my dancing. And when I did a little patterned tip-toe strut with my arms tucked in like duck wings, did I hear the guys exclaim and just flip out. When my minute and a half dance break was over, I flipped my hair towards Joe telling him that he got owned.

In pure defeat, Joe collapsed to the ground and lay there dead while my brother came up and hoisted me onto his shoulder.

“The winner and undefeated champion of the dance. (Y/n) Jones!” I bowed and thanked the guys and my mum as they cheered. Benny set me back down on the ground just as Joe finally came up and revived himself. I stood before him and he said.

“You surprise me kiddo. I accept defeat. Benjamin is yours.”

“Well he is my brother. But—we can share him.” At hearing that, Joe took me in his arms and spun me around thanking me repeatedly.

“Do you think whenever we get some free time, could you show me some stuff. I really liked that little tip-toe strut.”

“I learned it from a friend of mine whose into Hip-hop back at my school. In fact he competed on the first season of World of Dance he and his group. They didn’t win but they got to the Semi-finals.”

“That’s awesome. You really are the dance master. And I can’t wait to see what you bring to the World of Dance stage.”

“In fact (Y/n), can we see your routine?” asked Ben.

“Yeah I was just about to ask that. Ben’s told us that while you can combine certain genres of dance, your main focus was on contemporary. I’ve always been intrigued anytime someone says they’re a contemporary dancer.” Gwilym said. I turned to my mum and asked her how long did I have for rehearsal.

When she told me five minutes, I knew I could show them my audition routine that I had planned. But after that we had to leave cause the next group to come in had to set up their things and warmup.

The guys all took a seat along the mirrored wall while my mum handled the music.

Once my song began playing, I did my entire routine before the guys. Showing Ben’s friends that while I can unleash the beast in Hip-hop, I can be as graceful and elegant as a swan.

After the routine was done, I got a standing ovation from all four of the guys as they applauded and whistled. I gathered up my stuff and as I did, the guys all swarmed around me telling me what an amazing job I did, and that for some of the *cough*Joe*cough* I had them crying by the end of my routine.

We then left the dance studio and Ben’s friends allowed us to have our own personal family time (since Ben and I hadn’t seen each other in literally five years). We said our goodbyes and soon our mum took us out to eat as sorta a family reunion/congratulations on all of our combined successes.

It was time. The World of Dance qualifier rounds. Today was my filming date and I knew in several weeks they would soon air it on TV worldwide. Now I have performed in front of crowd before, but this—this was something else.

And not to even make me twice as nervous, I have seen what people comment on the show or the specific dancers. Most of them are nice comments but then again it’s the Internet so there’s bound to be haters out there.

This one girl from last season just a few years older than me got so much hate in fact, that she ended up shutting down her Twitter page and I’m told she gave up on dancing all together. I don’t know what I’m gonna do if that ends up being me.

I was running my routine through my head and stretching myself out. With me to support me was my mum, Ben and Ben’s friends of Bohemian Rhapsody, Rami, Gwil and Joe. With each dancing group or person that went up, I got more and more nervous. Soon a producer came up to me and said.

“(Y/n), you’ll be on up after The Jumperz.”

“Okay, thank you.” I told him. He nodded and walked away from me, at that moment I felt like I wanted to puke.

“Hey kiddo, how’s it going?” I looked up to see Ben standing over me.

“Good, very good.” He sat down beside me, his brow furrowed with concern. Crap he knows, he always knows.

“You sure?” at this point I knew I couldn’t hide it anymore. I tucked my legs into my chest and curled myself into a ball.

“I don’t think I can do this anymore Ben.”

“What do you mean?” he questioned.

“Maybe this whole thing was a mistake. Can we go home? Yeah, yeah let’s go home.” I said as I stood up.

“Now hold on, hold on love.” He took my hand into his stopping me from even walking away. “Let’s just sit down and talk about it real quick.” He stood up and we went outside of the room and stood along the hallway.

I leaned up against the wall with my arms crossed over my chest protectively and my leg bouncing with anxiety.

“Talk to me sis, what’s going on?”

“I just……I’m scared Ben. I don’t know why I am, I’ve performed in front of an audience before, I don’t know why I’m this nervous. It’s stupid I know.”

“Hey, hey, hey. No it’s not.” He said to me gently as he cupped my face, trying his best to not ruin my makeup. “You’re human, you have every right to be nervous. I’ll bet not a single one of these dancers you’re competing against isn’t feeling what you’re feeling now. And some of these guys might’ve been with well-known performers and are still feeling the nerves.”

“Is it always this nerve wracking for you every time you film something?” he nodded.

“Of course it is. I’m always worried about people’s reactions to me on screen. Even with all the positive feedback I get, I always keep my eye focused on that one negative outlook, no matter how many people say I’m good in a role.”

“I just don’t want the haters to pull me away from my dream like they did to that one dancer that came on the show last season.”

“Come here, have a seat in my lap.” He sat down on the floor and guided me till I was now sitting on his lap, holding me like a teddy bear. “There will always be haters and trolls out there in the world. That’s just what they get off of, is by bringing other people down, especially kids who go on shows like this. It’s wrong and vile but I won’t say you won’t encounter some hate. But the one thing you must keep in mind; is to never, ever let them dictate on who you are as a person.”

“Do you think I can do that?”

“Absolutely. You’re incredibly talented, you’re smart, kind, the most talented person I’ve ever met. I mean yeah I can dance but nowhere near to the level that you can. Hell you even beat out Joe in that little dance competition when you first met him a couple days ago.”

“I did do that, didn’t I?” he chuckled.

“You schooled him.”

“Ben no one says that anymore.”

“Whatever I’m a 90’s kid that was the lingo back then.”

“Back in the ancient times.” He scoffed.

“Alright miss smart-aleck I guess since you’re feeling well enough to sass me off you don’t need me anymore.” He plopped me off his lap and went to stand up but I gripped his shirt and begged.

“No Benny please!” all I could hear was his soft laughter. I hit his arm and pouted. “You are so mean!”

“Aww sissy, you know I can’t help but be a little cheeky with you.” he teased as he playfully nudged my shoulder with his arm. I smiled and nodded.

“Yeah I know cause that’s your job.”

“It is my job. Well one of the many qualifications of being your Big Brother. The most important one though, is to be there for you when you need it.” He stroked the top of my head and I hugged him.

“Thanks Ben. I’m glad that you could be here.”

“Me too. And hey, accepted or not. I’m proud of all that you’ve done in your dancing career.” He whispered in my ear as he gave me a snug embrace.

After our little bro-sis cuddle, we separated from each other and he asked me, “Do you still feel nervous?”

“A little but not as much.”

“Okay so there are two options we can do here; we can shake out the nerves, or my favorite—I can tickle them out of you.”

“No Ben you’ll ruin my costume!” I whined out as he chuckled.

“Okay, so we’ll shake them out then.” We both stood up and did our nerve shakeout.

Which was basically what he learned in theatre which was just shaking out your hands and feet counting backwards from 10, but each time we’d count, we’d go a bit faster. Once we got one, Ben picked me up and spun me around before setting me down.

“Better?”

“Better.”

“Good, oh wait one last thing before you go out, gotta shake out those negative thoughts in that brain of yours.” He cupped my face in his hands and playfully shook my head around as he growled out in an angry tone, “Get out of my sister’s head you dirty rotter’s!”

“Ben!” I laughed. He stopped as he grinned down at me.

“Had to make sure. You look beautiful, and I know you’re gonna wow everyone out there, especially the judges.”

“Thanks Benny. I love you.”

“Love you too kiddo.” He gave my nose a peck before escorting me back into the dance room. A producer was calling out my name, I looked up at Ben and he nodded to me before I went racing off towards the producer to tell him I was here.

When he saw me, he guided me towards the corridor where I would walk down, go up the stairs and racing across towards the stage. I could hear the chanting claps of the audience and their cheers and soon I heard the announcer say through the speaker.

“Give it up, for (Y/n) Jones.” I raced across the corridor, took the steps two at a time before racing across the catwalk towards the stage. As soon as I came on stage, everyone cheered and soon I was standing before Ne-Yo, Derek Hough, and Jennifer Lopez. They greeted me with waves or nods and I waved to them.

“Hello sweetie.” Jennifer greeted me.

“Hi.” I waved back to her.

“Why don’t you tell us your name?”

“My name is (Y/n) Jones and I’m from London, England.”

“Oh a British Dancer. Finally someone from the UK.” Derek proclaimed.

“So how old are you?” Ne-Yo asked me.

“I just turned nine last month.” At that the crowd cheered for me and that’s when Ne-Yo said.

“Well happy belated birthday.”

“Thank you Ne-Yo.” He winked at me and said to me.

“Let’s see what you got (Y/n).” I nodded and handed my microphone to one of the assistants before racing off towards the back of the stage as the lights went down.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in before exhaling slowly. This was it, make it or break it.

*Ben’s POV*

From backstage, my mum, the guys and I along with the other dancers could watch and see what was going on stage. I pressed my hands together in a prayer motion as I had them against my lips, c’mon little sis I know you can do it.

*Play video*

Her song routine, Ashes by Celine Dion soon came on through the speakers and she began her routine. The lights softly lit up in a sunrise color of yellow, orange, and purple. She truly shined as her dance went on, going slow when she needed before finally sticking the landing or going with the beat of the song.

That entire stage was hers to command and she used the entirety of that stage for her routine. I could hear the judges voices sound impressed with my sister’s routine, especially once the chorus struck and the hard drumbeats of the song kicked in.

The crowd was just in awe and applauded my sister, dazzled by her grace yet strength she was giving them in her performance. Doing her 540’s, leg lifts, front flips, she was like the Freddie Mercury of dancing on that stage as she showed her true colors on that stage, especially as it lit up with her as the song got more powerful.

By the end of it when she stood up and just gave that pleading face of help as she reached out towards J-Lo, the lights went dark and the entire audience went nuts.

“That was even amazing with the lights.” Said Joe.

“Agreed, she really lit that stage up.” Rami agreed.

“That’s our girl.” Mum said as I wrapped my arm around her.

“Alright, alright, alright, alright (Y/n). Now remind me how old you are?” Derek said.

“I just turned nine.” At that point Derek stood up from his chair flipping his pen which made everyone laugh. “Girl you look like you’ve been doing this for 20 years.” Everyone laughed.

“How old were you when you got into dancing?” asked J-Lo.

“I was 2.” (y/n) responded.

“Well it shows that you definitely have a passion for this. And you literally have been doing this your whole life. Just seeing you being able to do moves that—I couldn’t even do at your age till I was much older, that to me…..shows you have true love for dancing. And you already gave me goosies little missy and we just met you.”

“Uh-oh Jennifer with her goosies.” Ne-Yo said.

“She gave them to me, the goosies do not lie!”

“No they do not.” Derek said before he continued, “But just like Jennifer said. I mean my sister and I we did some contemporary a bit as kids but nowhere could we master it down just like you’ve done (Y/n). And that final move where you just landed right on your knees. I literally jumped from my seat.”

“Yeah it was like you had no bones little miss.” Ne-Yo said as my sister smiled and laughed. “Besides from what both Derek and Jennifer has said. Your timing is what really stuck out to me. Like it was like you were a part of the song itself. Like first you’d be like all smooth and fluid when the beat was gentle. But when the drumbeat kicked in hard with boom- boom boom-boom. That right there is what really stuck out to me.”

“I completely agree.” Derek said.

“Alright we’re gonna lock in our scores and we’ll see if you make it to the duels (Y/n).” J-Lo said with a smile. (Y/n) nodded and that’s when the lights dimmed down on her and we watched as the three judges locked in their scores, while making their silent commentaries to each other.

“Okay (Y/n), you need an 88 or above to qualify for the duels, let’s see what you scored.” The host said as he came out and stood beside my sister. The lights shown down (like those game show lights whenever something gets suspenseful).

First up was Derek’s score; he gave her an 90.

At that my sister made a face of shock as her smile widened and she covered her mouth in shock. The crowd cheered and up next was Ne-Yo’s score.

He gave her an 89. Finally J-Lo’s score was a 92. When the scores rounded up together was 90.3. Her score shined up on the ceiling scoreboard and (Y/n) couldn’t believe it, poor sissy was even crying.

“Congratulations (Y/n) you made it to the Duels. How’s it feel?” the host asked as he held his microphone to her.

“It feel just—absolutely amazing. All three of you have been an inspiration to be in wanting to become a dancer and this just means so much to me. Thank you for letting me get this opportunity.”

“We can’t wait to see what you bring us, cause already little Miss, you’ve got the competitive edge. It better only get better from here on out.” Ne-Yo told her. She nodded and thanked the judges one last time before running off the stage.

As she came running towards us, I had to be the first one she saw. I cheered for her as I opened my arms out for her and she raced towards me before leaping right into my arms. I spun her around as the two of us laughing joyously.

“You did it kiddo! I’m so proud of you.”

“Thanks to you Ben. I kept thinking about what you said, I dedicated my performance to you.” I felt myself tear up as I buried my face into her ponytailed hair.

“I would’ve been proud of you either way.” At this point the rest of the guys as well as our mum came up and congratulated her.

That night we celebrated her victory on making it to the next round of World of Dance. Drinks for me and the guys, we danced, sung some karaoke, and just partied all night long.

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meredithstanien · 3 years

Text

me and my thoughts ab homecoming

feel free to ignore i'm just rambling about how much i love everyone in starkid (please dont reblog this haha)

- jaAIME thank you maam for your service

- is jeff blim wearing eyeliner? thank you king

- sometimes i understand why all of you are simping for white boy manion and show stopping number is one of them. hips!

- personally i will simp for mariah though i hope you dont mind

- LAUREN WALKER I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU THAT SHIRT

- IM SO HYPED FOR FIREBRINGER I'M GONNA LOSE IT

- i want bhol's shirt. honestly i would wear his whole outfit

- brb simping for meredith.... leather jacket.....

- also lauren that fit is beautiful

- rachael soglin i love you also she has such a wonderful voice

- TOGETHER!!!!! i love everyone looking at meredith and lauren Like That

- "we are womankind" *meredith thumbs up and :)

- lowkey wish we had more lauren walker during this

- okay. tto songs slap so hard and i'm also bopping

- wISSSCONSSIIIIIINNNN i love corey

- wait how have i not said anything about jeff's outfit yet??? i love the vest so much

- okay they kept the audience participation for tto in this and i love it so much

- MS LOPEZ THE BOOTS???

- SPEEDRUN thank you for letting rachael bless us, i thought they were just gonna do tto and naked in a lake and i was gonna be so sad

-i'm crying over jeff's bowlegged step in place

- i love this four person crew for ani, i was wondering what they were gonna do for this since it was a traditional musical

- why dont people simp for clark? look at this man he's so fine

- HOW DID I NOT KNOW THAT CHRIS ALLEN ALSO PLAYED DUDER IN LITTLE WHITE LIE? i never made that made that connection because i only watched lwl once

- jim povolo makes an appearance i love xem

- the cheers during no one remembers achmed... me too.

- denise and meredith sharing a mic and having the time of their lives doing it brings me joy

- lowkey was stoked for a meredith-dylan duet for 1001 nights but britney and carlos gave us so much more than we deserved

- okay as a meredith stan i am very sad about the lack of a meredith solo in the twisted medley i will not lie to you guys

- the hmb lighting.... thank you to the lightning designer i will have to check the credits.... AND THE SOUND DESIGNER the echoes are so cool

- gotta say i am so happy about the variety of funky outfits onstage today

- ROGUES jaime kills that one part. yall know the part

- literally any part with denise singing makes me so happy i cant wait for starship

- the audience clapping made me so nervous at the end of super friends bc for a second it sounded like it was throwing off the orchestra and making them speed up without realizing

- craving some commissioner gordon right about now

- STARSHIP I'M GONNA PEE

- ms donovan knows what she's talking about, thank you denise's mom we are dreamers

- i love that theyre giving solos to people who didn't get them in other medleys because i needed this. starkid women are so talented

- i feel so bad for not knowing everyone's names. theyre so amazing and i cant even name them

- JUNIOR STARSHIP i simp for bhol specifically as junior

- BRANT COX THE BUG MAN I LOVE YOU i love starship and i love him, i wish he had been in more shows

- joey your cue!!!!

- where is the way i do? i pass away

- "please enjoy some songs from 'me and my- ...." goodbye brian

- mamd is highkey problematic but that doesnt stop ready to go from being a bop

- brian and meredith standing together 🥺

- i love brian and nick lang awkwardly asking if everyone is having fun

- nick is so wonderful i love him

- the strings sound SO cool with comin back to hogwarts i love cellos

- the screams over the glasses, i love this audience

- i love the audience singing along and saying the lines along with the music, i bet the energy in that theatre was fucking amazing

- joey and darren just going "whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa" over bonnie!

- ms. lopez... the BOOTS again. lauren lopez as draco malfoy does things to me

- DYLAN COMING FROM THE AUDIENCE that is my favorite gag

- the people in the audience as dylan is coming through look so excited

- HUFFLEPUFFS ARE PARTICULARLY GOOD FINDERS!!!!!!

- meredith dances like a cartoon character it's so cute i love her

- tbh the whole second act has me smiling constantly i dont have much to say bc it just makes me so happy

- IMAGINE BEING THAT SAX PLAYER thank you king

- not even gonna lie ive never been a huge fan of avps or avpsy but the energy here makes up for it

- darren where is your fit you are harry freakin potter all the other men here are showing you up, you are wearing a black t shirt

-[yeah at thsi point a bunch of my thoughts ab the second act got deleted bc tumblr sucks and didnt save this draft but whatever i loved it]

- i'm gonna cry, the way the orchestra the end of days of summer became a slow version of back to hogwarts

- this is so sad. this is so happy but so sad.

- darren this is the sweetest thing

- "enthusiastic, but sometimes questionable fan art" i'd like to formally apologize to starkid for whatever they may have seen.

- joey in the background making faces as darren talks about loving your friends

- yo i didnt expect to get so emo over this but them finishing out with back to hogwarts really did me in, plus everyone onstage wiping away tears

- ITS AN ENCORE THANK YOU BROSENTHAL AND SANGO

- what a stupidly wonderful way to finish this show

- joey carrying out walker and brosenthals jackets

- oh the classic disconnected and off timing theatre kid bow to end the show

- IM LOOKING AT THE CREDITS AND OFC THEY HAD COREY LUBOWICH, SARAH PETTY, JUNE SAITO, AND MARK SWIDERSKI DOING TECH WHO ELSE WOULD THEY POSSIBLY ASK TO DO IT?

#m speaks #dont rb

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lady-divine-writes · 4 years

Text

Shedding Facades (Rated PG13)

Summary: Afraid that their marriage might feel like a lie if he weds Aziraphale in his human form, Crowley makes a bold, last-minute decision … (2237 words)

Notes: Written to include @drawlight’s ‘31 Days of Ineffables’ prompt 'wrapping paper’.

Read on AO3.

“I object.”

Stunned silence follows – gaping mouths, bugged eyes, the comical expressions of an audience thrown for such a phenomenal loop, they may not even be standing on planet Earth any longer.

“You what now?”

“I … uh … I … object. I’m sorry.”

“H—how can you object!?” Anathema asks, strangling the book she’s holding in her hands as if it had spoken those blasphemous words instead. “This is your wedding!” She glares at Crowley, eyes broiling on behalf of her good friend, poor Mr. Fell, himself staring at his betrothed with the depth of shock that comes from discovering that every person you’ve ever known and loved has been executed all at once on the exact same day when their severed heads arrive on your doorstep by post, collect-on-delivery.

But that’s exactly what Crowley is doing – the evilest thing he’s ever accomplished as a demon.

Destroying Aziraphale’s world.

If he’d ever wanted to discorporate Aziraphale in an instant, those words at this particular moment would do it.

Crowley doesn’t look up to face the consequences, even though he knows he’s expected to. He’s been silently staring at his and Aziraphale’s joined hands since the ceremony began.

And that’s where his eyes stay.

“I can’t,” he repeats. “I can’t do this. I’m sorry, but I can’t.”

“Wha—what?” Aziraphale has plenty more to say, but when it comes down to it, that’s all that will come out. “What are you …?” He shakes his head, trying to rattle more words together, but he doesn’t succeed. “What?”

“I can’t do this,” Crowley says a bit more firmly. “I can’t marry you this way.”

“But I …” Aziraphale looks at the party gathered – an intimate group of their closest friends, linking hands and forming a circle around them, standing so close there would be no mistaking what Crowley just said.

He looks at the ridiculously elaborate venue Crowley had insisted upon; at the fairy lights strewn over everything that wouldn’t move to complement the miracled constellations over their heads; at an ocean of flowers covering every conceivable surface; at the banquet table full of gourmet food waiting to be eaten; at the red velvet runners, the golden candlesticks, the miles of white tulle; the string quartet, sitting in a far corner, waiting for their cue. And the cake – the twelve-tiered wedding cake humorously crafted to display the nine levels of Hell, each ring adorned with tormented souls rendered out of fondant, and a staircase leading up to Earth, with Heaven cascading above, an angel in white robes and a devil in black hovering in the accentuated space between.

Finally, he looks at the demon standing before him, gloriously handsome in a simple black tux and classic rose boutonniere, staring at him from behind Armani sunglasses.

At this point in the ceremony, which Anathema was officiating, they were a few short acknowledgements away from exchanging vows and saying their I do’s. Then they’d be dancing and laughing and cutting into that cake, which he’s heard tell is filled with pitch-black, dark chocolate ganache. He doesn’t know since, like everything else, he didn’t order it. Didn’t plan it at all. Crowley did. He planned this whole shebang, saw to every little detail.

But now Crowley says he can’t go through with it.

After giving absolutely no indication whatsoever that marrying Aziraphale was something he didn’t want to do, he’s saying no.

“I … I don’t understand,” Aziraphale stammers. “Why?”

“Because …” Crowley chuckles “… I’m not dressed for it.”

A pause, then nervous laughter hops from the throat of human guest to human guest, starting with Newt, infecting Madame Tracy, bypassing Shadwell but migrating through Warlock and Adam and the rest of The Them. The only two who have yet to see the humor are Anathema and Aziraphale.

“I don’t understand,” Aziraphale repeats, his voice straying its course, becoming pitchy and weak, only finding its strength in embarrassment. “You picked that tuxedo out yourself. If you didn’t want to wear it, I … what are you saying?”

Crowley sighs. This isn’t going well. Of course, when you object at your own wedding, things will tend to go downhill after.

“I mean me, Aziraphale. Not the tuxedo. Me.”

“Please explain,” Aziraphale begs, beginning to back away. But Crowley, holding his hands like his life depends on it, urges him back.

“Look at me, angel, and tell me what you see.”

“I see you, Crowley! The same you I’ve been looking at for over 6000 years!”

“And what does that look like?”

Aziraphale’s head continues to shake – desperation, exasperation, and every other –tion twisting it side to side. “Red hair, yellow eyes, pale skin, sharp nose and chin …”

“Right. My human form. But that’s not me. Not inside.” Crowley gives Aziraphale’s hands a squeeze meant to comfort him, but he’s far from there. “I’m very fond of my human form but … it’s wrapping paper. It’s not who I really am.”

“It is,” Aziraphale assures him, relaxing when he comprehends. “It’s the way you see yourself. It’s the way you want others to see you and that’s fine.”

“I appreciate you saying that. But this …” He gestures with his and Aziraphale’s hands towards his body “I … run deeper. I have no intention of giving this form up, but it doesn’t feel real to me when I’m about to pledge my life to you. It feels like a lie. And that’s not what I want. Not today.”

Aziraphale swallows hard, his confusion returning. “So, you don’t want to marry me?”

“Of course I do! But not this way.”

Aziraphale glances at their befuddled friends, concerned if Crowley means what he thinks he means … “But how do you intend …?”

Crowley leans in and gives Aziraphale a wink. “I’ve got a plan.” He lets go of Aziraphale’s hands and claps to get everyone’s attention. “Okay, ladies and gents! I’m going to need you all to back up about twenty paces! And … uh … just a head’s up, there’s a sixty-two percent chance that what I’m about to do might melt your brains.”

Fearful eyes snap Crowley’s way. “What!?”

“Or make you go blind.” He shrugs. “Either way.”

“Are you joking!?”

“He has to be joking!”

“Is that a fire exit!?”

“Let’s go check!”

He does get a solitary, “Awesome!” from Warlock, who fishes his cell phone from his pocket, opens the camera app, and waits for the show to begin.

Aziraphale rolls his eyes. “Relax, everybody.” He snaps his fingers. From the constellations above, a sprinkling of silver and gold dust falls upon the onlookers, clinging to clothes and hair and faces till they look like they’re covered in stars. “There we go. Now no one’s brain is going to melt. You may have nightmares after, but I can fix that later on.”

“That’s a relief,” Tracy mutters sarcastically.

“But what about …?” Pepper nods pointedly over her shoulder at the two violinists, the violist, and the cellist watching the proceedings with interest.

“… the musicians?” Brian finishes. “They don’t know about you guys, do they?”

“They won’t see anything out of the ordinary. They think they’re watching a plain, old, normal wedding,” Aziraphale explains, bitter emphasis aimed at his groom. But as his world isn’t coming to an end, he feels free to joke. “They’ll come around right on time to play the wedding march.”

“Sounds good, I guess,” Wensleydale says, moving to hide behind Brian.

Aziraphale looks at Crowley, who has widened his stance, giving himself an invisible boundary for the guests to stay behind. “Are you ready, my dear?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” he replies, striking Aziraphale as more excited than he’s seemed all day. Crowley doesn’t like changing into his demon form. He’s always afraid he’ll forget how to change back so he avoids it when he can. So this must have been bothering him for a while.

All of today at least.

Crowley miracles away his glasses and closes his eyes.

The room falls deathly quiet, the human participants subconsciously widening their circle as they wait for something to happen. Only Anathema and Aziraphale remain inside, more prepared than anyone for what’s about to happen.

Crowley transforms by inches. His hair disappears, falling to the floor in clumps, the remainder oil-slick black. Wings erupt, glossy black feathers immediately shedding to reveal a thin, veiny membrane. Nails grow into sharp, curved claws. Bones elongate, joints popping as they widen to accommodate. He didn’t remove his clothes beforehand so the tearing of fabric is what the guests hear.

It covers for the less-palatable sound of tearing flesh.

Then there are the maggots. As much as he would hide them to lessen the impact on their friends, if he’s going to go through with this, he needs to go for broke. He feels them always, brimming beneath his human façade, squirming and rooting and otherwise being a nuisance. But he knows when they’re seen by the subtle grumblings of discomfort accompanied by the unsettling scritch of them falling to the carpet beneath his feet.

The tips of his wings hit the floor, signaling the end of his metamorphosis. The ache of splitting muscles and reshaping bones dies down, and he opens featureless black eyes. His full form with wings splayed is so cumbersome, it forces him to hunch, his spine curling into a jagged question mark.

It takes him a minute before he summons the courage to look at the faces of their friends watching him, see by their expressions what they think of him this way. It’s not as bad as he’d imagined. But then again, if it had been, he might not be able to call these humans friends.

“O…kay,” Newt whispers, but that’s all.

Madame Tracy throws a hand over her mouth - in disgust, Crowley imagines, but there are tears in her eyes and a wobbly smile on her lips.

Shadwell, who doesn’t know how to react, puts himself a step in front of her and gets his finger ready, just in case.

“Cool!” everyone under the age of thirteen says, unprompted and at relatively the same time.

Anathema clears her throat. “Good. Fine. Now that that’s resolved, may we continue?”

The demon Crowley, in his true demon form, limps towards his fiancé, one leg dragging with a grating nails-on-chalkboard noise, dulled for the humans by Aziraphale’s miracled star armor. Crowley stops in front of Anathema, swaying like a snake, balancing his weight on legs that should be too thin and brittle to support him.

“Where were we?” she asks, opening her book and doing her best to appear unfazed. She’d taken the liberty, after their Notta-pocalypse encounter, to study up on demons, learn everything she could about them, seeing as she was now personally acquainted with one. She’d read ancient texts, examined old drawings. She thought she was ready to face whatever Crowley might dish out.

She may have been wrong.

“The vows, I believe.” Aziraphale’s gaze never leaves his demon’s face. He raises a hand to it, cheeks damp and eyes moist.

“Of course. Who wants to go first?”

“I will,” Crowley snarls unintentionally, but he’s out of practice speaking through these pointed teeth and with this forked tongue.

Anathema nods, relinquishing the floor.

“Aziraphale,” Crowley hisses, “will you take me, me the way I truly am, to be yoursss – your ssspouse, your partner, your sssignificant other, for as long as we remain on this planet, in Heaven or Hell, or up in the ssstars? Even if …” And this is where he stumbles. Later, Aziraphale will reflect on this, come to the conclusion that this may have been what it was all about, what Crowley was sincerely afraid of “… for sssome horrible reassson, one day, I end up sssstaying this way? Will you marry me?”

Crowley reaches out skeletal claws and takes Aziraphale’s soft, pink hands in his.

Aziraphale stares into the stony black eyes of the demon looming before him. He’s never seen Crowley like this. In all the years they’ve spent as friends, Crowley as a demon, as a monster, is something Aziraphale never had to witness. On the flip side, Crowley has yet to see Aziraphale’s true form. But Crowley was an angel once. He would know what angels look like. It should be old hat to him.

But Crowley is a sight to behold.

Aziraphale doesn’t speak, doesn’t nod, doesn’t indicate an answer in any way. He is struck dumb not by Crowley’s physical form, but by his vulnerability – his willingness to expose the part of himself that he fears the most to not only Aziraphale, but their room full of friends, just so their marriage might not be deemed illegitimate.

Well, if Crowley is going all out, he might as well, too.

The seams of Aziraphale’s jacket rip. Rays of light bleed through, forcing them open. A set of white wings springs out from underneath, then another, and another, slicing through like scissors. The remaining fabric of his fine, white coat falls to the ground in a tattered heap at what should be his feet. But he has no feet since he is no longer human shaped. He is formless, wings and eyes surrounding the spiritual essence of the Principality Aziraphale.

He is a golden light. A holy light.

He is infinite.

And soon, he and Crowley will be infinite together.

“I will.”

#good omens #good omens fanfiction #ineffable husbands #31 days of halloween #aziraphale x crowley #crowley x aziraphale #frankie writes

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sbawnmendes · 5 years

Text

30 things i learned about shawn after 30 q&a's (part 2):

hii, im back with a part 2 because you all seemed to like the first part & i absolutely loved making it! there is always something to learn so im here to share 30 MORE things ive taken away from another set of 30 q&a's on this tour!

(photo creds to owner)

1) “to be honest with you, i started realizing that people are actually entitled to have their own opinion. they can think i am not good..not everybody is going to like me. i used to get mad & i realized i’m wrong for thinking that they have to think i am good.” that right there is growth. live by your own rules, makes yourself happy & in being happy with yourself, you’ll see that the people that love you & the ones that matter the most will be the ones to stick around.

2) he owns a pair of crocs which leads me to 3 very important question - why have we never seen him wear these things & what colour are they & does he have any of those cute little charm/pin things in the holes? like a little guitar or something

3) shawn on bullying & the best way to combat it - “this is one problem i have..i remember being in school & i remember hearing ‘if someone is being bullied don’t say anything. step back. don’t get involved. go tell a teacher.. which i also agree with BUT i also think it is very important..if there is a situation going on that could be harmful & you could get hurt, be careful don’t get involved but to show love to people who need to feel the love. there is not enough. we even do this to ourselves..we critique & judge ourselves so much & we don’t love ourselves enough. i think everyone is so scared of being cocky or over the top confident & so scared of telling someone they love them 100 times a day & that is ridiculous because we will be the first to tell someone when they’re doing something wrong & we will be the first to tell ourselves when we are doing something wrong & i think that it is like..in those situations i find that the one who is bullying is the one who needs the most love & the most attention & the most support. we need to focus more on the people who are bullies & why they are & giving them the information as to why they shouldn’t be doing that & how much it is hurting. it is really up to you to choose the path of love for yourself & everyone around you over the path of negativity & hate & that starts with you.”

4) he. is. MeLtiNg.

5) the smell of popcorn makes him DIE on the inside, the drama is seriously expected at this point from sir leo

6) touch is his love language - ‘LikE HuGs” yes shawn..like hugs

7) “every time i think something negative i’m like, ‘ooh i’m feeling tired today’ i go, ‘no..could be worse. i could have diarrhea but i don’t’.”

8) forgive yourself.

9) apparently he is too good for chocolate now & sour peaches are his new favourite candy?? leave it to shawn to like the most random candy on this planet

10) his will to live through a zombie apocalypse is high..like 3rd last to live buuuttttt his need to feed is way higher so byebye shawn

11) he just keeps getting funnier & funnier..i don’t know what brian is putting in shawn’s wheaties in the morning but keep doing it!!

12) still really wants to eat a bug?? first it was a cricket & now he is telling flies he is going to eat them..some sort of bug whisperer i think. ‘shawn’s bugs be gone’

13) he is “moving away from calling fans honey” (no he isn’t) & suddenly he thinks it is just totally acceptable to call them darling..someone come get romeo over here

14) he is absolutely amazing at expressive faces when he is telling a story in the most dramatic way possible. there is no room for guessing. if he is confused, he is the most confused he has ever been. shocked? literally looks like he survived the electric chair. the look of complete & utter adoration? got that one down pat..where is the ring?

15) 60 shows later, he stretches sooOooo much & still can’t touch his toes

16) *poses like superman, deepens voice & practically whispers* “mi amor” i know i know,..no need to elaborate (right milo?)

17) no gluten, no dairy, no problem! & thank the LORD he isn’t allergic to dogs anymore *cough cough* @ buzzfeed

18) he is performing at the area 51 raid so be there or be..abducted (what is this set list going to look like?)

19) he thinks ferb would win over phineas in a fist fight which duh

20) shawn’s baby fever is at an all time high & has tried to schmooze multiple parents into letting him take their toddlers on tour with him. mom/dad/guardian, need a day off? send your 3 year old off with this extra tall baby across the continent for a few days..i’m sure they’ll be fine!

21) apparently shawn doesn’t actually look at his clothes before buying them because somehow he managed to buy the weird but oddly cute white t-shirt with the little monsters on it without realizing there was even the drawing on it

22) treat you better is & always will be “the shit”

23) mr. attitude. his sass levels are level 108 & it is hilarious..still loves to mock people BUT he combats his sass with the sweetest little interjections or comments whether that be “i love your earrings” or “hello beautiful” or “you’re adorable...i hope you just know that forever you’re adorable”. sour then sweet, kinda like a sour patch kid. sour patch - rockstar edition

24) remember that one kid in 7th grade that argued with their teacher to the point of tears only to dramatically leave the classroom & run into the bathroom where the teacher had to go after him & get him out? yeah..that was shawn mendes. also “hEy 7tH GRadERs, iT’S sHaWN”

25) if there was a fire in his house, screw everything & everyone else..the guitars are priority

26) shawn’s advice on self love - “we spend all day judging ourselves. we will be like, ‘why did i say that that way?’ or ‘why did i laugh like that?’ that’s a very normal thing to do. what we never do is compliment ourselves. every single time you hold the door for someone and they say thanks, you never go, ‘shawn that was really nice of you!’ or someone is walking & you smile at them & they smile back, you probably just made their day but you never walk away like, ‘you’re such a nice person!’ if we spend so much time judging ourselves for things that are wrong, we need to fight that & compliment ourselves every time we do something right. keep a mental track now. wake up in the morning like, ‘i did my hair so nicely today! yeah, looking great!’ compliment yourself & you’ll start gaining a habit of loving yourself as much as you do telling yourself you suck & then your whole life will change.”

27) he does this really cute thing where he says things without thinking & will ramble for like 30 seconds without making any sense & then say something like “i don’t know why i just said that” or “i don’t know what i’m talking about” & basically talks to himself out loud in front of 200 people & it is probably the most endearing thing ever

28) “there is something about being in love with poison that is super attractive to me”

29) he likes both green & red (purple? i don’t know) grapes because “they all taste the same” & i’m not sure if that was supposed to be a metaphor for ‘no matter what you look like on the outside, were all the same on the inside’ but i’m tearing up either way

30) shawn bought 30 of his friends, 30 of them, airpods for the bus ride from toronto to nyc for his 21st birthday. 30 friends. 30. rich

#sm #text #q&a #smtt #shawn mendes the tour #shawn mendes #shawn peter raul mendes

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half-man-half-lime · 4 years

Text

On why being dark makes Worm a good power fantasy

Okay I have a tendency to pointlessly and circuitously ramble so I’m just gonna leave a TL;DR up here: Worm shows that the most powerless people in the most hopeless situations can still make a difference through perseverance.

So here and there I’ve seen posts going around (not gonna search and link the various posts I’m referencing in this post, it’s 2 AM and I’m lazy) about why everyone should shut up about people liking lighter works, and how Steven Universe is a great work of escapism because it lets people experience a world where compassion can win wars and make the world a better place. I’m not gonna argue about whether lighter or darker stuff is better, the point of those posts is people can like what they want (also see that one comic I’m not gonna link where stories are balloons and someone makes a heavy iron balloon and drops it into a pit and someone stuck in the muck grabs a hold of it; you know the one).

But that stuff HAS been making me think about why Worm is a good escapist fantasy in a number of ways. My analysis of the Parahumans stories has been kind of sidetracked by the amazing analysis by the We’ve Got Worm/Ward podcast, all that stuff about characterization and themes and shit, it’s great, but all that stuff plus the YBUTTing (You’re Being Unfair To Taylor, basically dismantling her moral justifications and pointing out the negative effect her moral choices have on her and those around her) kind of make you forget the childish, sadistic appeal of a story about a girl who cuts people’s eyes out and is Completely Justified in doing so and also Extremely Clever like a seasoned D&D player. And that stuff is fun, even if it gets less so after too many rereads. (Seriously, I’ve listened to the audiobooks so many times now, I’ve lost count.)

But one thing Matt and Scott and the reddit commenters have discussed is the usefulness of horror story elements as a way of establishing stakes, which brings me to my point: It’s really fucking empowering to see a nerdy teenage girl take down invincible serial killers and bully god to death when she seems like she should have absolutely no way or right to do so.

Like, one of the reasons One Piece was always so appealing to me, something that sort of faded with the power creep and repetition of the same story beats over and over again, is how satisfying it is to see Luffy and pals take down warlords and tyrants a thousand times stronger than them through sheer force of will. What right does this punk-ass kid from the East Blue with stretchy powers have to take down a powerful Fish-Man, or a lightning-slinging self-proclaimed god, or a seasoned undercover assassin with a thirst for blood? But he does it anyway! He works out and trains and shit, and basically wrecks his body sometimes, and in the end, after a lot of screaming and punching, those guys are gone, and he’s still here! Because they had the audacity to hurt his friends, and he and his pals will fucking bully reality into doing what they want if it means stopping people who do those sort of things.

Now the thing about Taylor Hebert is she isn’t strong, not physically. This bullied kid never got super-strength or web-slingers to swing around on, nor the charisma to make quips and piss off the local mad scientists. She’s clever, but not enough to build a laser gun or a giant robot. She controls bugs. Wowee. Like the Stretchy Man, she should by all rights be underwhelming to deal with, but somehow she always seems to make it out alive, her enemies leaving without the eyeballs or prosthetic foreheads they came in with. (Don’t worry, they both got new ones, it just took a while. Well. Not Valefor.)

And that’s cool in a vacuum, but in the Parahumans universe? That’s an accomplishment. The Endbringers and the Slaughterhouse Nine, the horror as stakes, they’re like an uphill battle against a bigger, steeper uphill battle. And Taylor has bugs. She can’t chop Leviathan in half, and if she tries (which she does, to a degree), she risks drowning, being crushed and paralyzed, and being thrown headfirst into a concrete floor all at the same time. So she slinks around the Endbringers, too far away to be stepped on, giving CPR to the fighters wounded in battle; she plots against the Nine and probes for weaknesses, even if it means risking herself and her teammates. She beats the shit out of the genius killer mannequin man, not with fireballs or hundred-ton punches, but with spiderwebs and glue, and in the end, after being wounded and exhausted, tens of people are alive because of what she did.

To compare this to Steven Universe, or the opposite side of Skitter’s coin, the Unbeatable Squirrel Girl (though sadly SU is a better comparison because on top of the positivity it handles things like abuse and trauma) (woe is me that I’m too lazy to write crossover or toneswap fanfic, between Worm and USG by the way, if you want to do that for me, be my guest (Also a Freaks and Geeks mashup, Worms and Germs)), it’s enormously encouraging that Steven is ultimately able to stop the onslaught of genocidal space empresses, not by punching them, but by appealing to their humanity, a task that his upbringing and challenges completely prepared him for. Doreen Green, in a world of angsty heroes and villains and murder and trauma, can befriend her enemies and stop them by suggesting more fulfilling career goals, or end centuries of interstellar war with a chalk board and a day or two of diplomatic negotiations.

And that’s appealing especially today because a lot of people feel tired of fighting and knowing that no amount of talking or empathy will stop transphobes and Trump supporters from making the world a waking nightmare. And plenty of people are tired of stories of Hopeless Bleak Despair, and want a little compassion in their lives. I get that, I truly do. I enjoy those stories for the same reasons.

BUT, Worm means a lot to me right now too. And it wouldn’t be the same without the pain and suffering. Scaring the Slaughterhouse Nine out of Brockton Bay wouldn’t seem like such an achievement if we didn’t see Brian cut to pieces, doomed to permanent PTSD, while the Undersiders lie paralyzed on the floor, subject to Bonesaw’s torturous whims. The defeat of Behemoth would seem a little more predictable and boring if the Avengers pulled it off in an hour, without hundreds of dead heroes (and thousands more who died in past fights), infighting, and the threat of an ally destroying all of India in a misguided attempt to stop the beast. Mannequin running away from a super-puncher or a fireball-shooter wouldn’t feel like the accomplishment it does coming from the scared teenage girl whose only weapons are some squishy bugs, a knife and baton, and some craft supplies.

Worm presents a world where suffering is everywhere, where the where traumatized, hopeless people can fight and fight and endure endless pain, lose loved ones and body parts, be given just little enough power by those that seek to exploit and hurt them that they shouldn’t be able to fight back, to leverage nothing but pepperspray and spiders against dragons, and, after all that struggling and fighting and pain, actually make the bad guys stop hurting people. (it’s like that Chesterton quote in Coraline that people misattribute to Neil Gaiman, about how fantasy shows us how dragons can be beaten.)

And it’s an upsetting and exhausting story to read, especially binge reading or listening, and it ends in genuine heartbreaking tragedy, yet somehow the victory seems like one of the most earned wins in all of fiction. Nobody should be able to defeat Grieving Golden Jesus or Superdense Hurricane Godzilla, and that’s why it’s so empowering when Taylor Hebert fucking does.

Isn’t that just as reassuring, in a world that seems so hopeless right now, when we all feel so powerless, so tired of struggling? I think so.

#Parahumans #Worm Spoilers #Mild One Piece Spoilers #Steven Universe Spoilers #Mutilation.;#Mild Unbeatable Squirrel Girl Spoilers

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mon-dayragingslut4monstaxday6 · 4 years

Text

Strawberry Kisses: The Night Before

Marcy’s roommate, who is dating Sungjin, takes her to a get together with Day6. There, she’s informed that someone in the group likes her, but she couldn’t depict who.

A/N: I could write this forever, I love Marcy and the boys. I’m in the process of making Part 3 (currently unnamed), but will not be posted as quickly as Part 1 and 2 (but it’s my goal). Also, low-key had my own housemate be the inspiration for Marcy’s roommate (because she’s a trip and I adore her).

Warnings/Themes: This is more plot and fluff than smut, but does have some spice. Heavy petting, dry humping, some dirty talk, praise, marking (overall pretty light compared to the last chapter)

Word Count: 5.1k

I have nothing to be worried about. My best friend, Seo Yeon, or So-Yo, is taking me to a party at her boy-toy’s place. She’s been seeing this guy who’s a leader of a Korean rock band that is currently stationed in the states, don’t ask me how, she can’t even explain. I met this guy a couple times, as well as his bandmates and they’re pretty great. Their music is phenomenal and their personalities are outrageously fun. Her boyfriend, Sungjin, may be goofy, but he has a good head on his shoulders and is gradually making So-Yo a better person. Not saying she was a bad person, but she’s becoming a happier and healthier version of herself. Overall, he’s someone she needed and I cannot be more grateful for her relationship with him.

The others, on the other hand are all eligible bachelors and So-Yo wants to set me up with one of them so bad. Sungjin wants to stay out of it, but that’s because he knows something, but won’t tell me what it is. So-Yo thinks it’s because some of the members might like me more than they lead on.

Like I said, I only met the whole group a couple of times and I treasure every single one, so if the choice was mine, I don’t know who I would pick. They all gave me their numbers, but the other guitarist, Jae, texts me the most, but it’s mostly exchanging memes. The bassist, Brian or Younghyun, who has the stage name Young K, but no one calls him that, is by far the prettiest boy, and he is quite the gentleman to me, but he’s still kind of shy. The keyboardist, Wonpil, is an absolute sweetheart and always finds a way to make me smile, but at first, he was too timid to even look at me without blushing. Lastly, the drummer, Dowoon, still struggles with his English, but the last time I saw him, I helped him out a bit and he’s such a goof ball it was hard to concentrate.

Tonight, could make things different. So-Yo encouraged me to bring my swimsuit, in case we want to take a dip in the pool at their place. I chose to wear something slightly out of my comfort zone: a black lacey romper that could easily pass as lingerie. Instead of my usual jeans and a t-shirt. I didn’t intend on wearing something different, but So-Yo encouraged me to show some of my wild side that we missed so much.

I keep bugging So-Yo to tell me who likes me, the curiosity is giving me nostalgia to high school. She won’t tell me, because she doesn’t know for sure, but she knows Sungjin does. I ask her to butter him up so he could tell her, but sadly he’s not that dumb to fall for that.

We head over to their place. I’m extra nervous to go, not only because I’m wearing something different, but one or more of the four bandmates likes me. Holy shit, what if all of them like me? I’d like to think I’m a delight, but it would make sense on some of them. Wonpil is a blushing/smiling buffoon, Dowoon is super silly shy boy, Brian is a suave mysterious man and Jae is a humorous dork. I pull out my compact mirror to check out my makeup. I went with a nearly bare face, due to us probably going swimming. Of course, I put on waterproof mascara, but I still wanted to look a bit “natural”.

“You look fine”, So-Yo compliments me as we walk down the hallway to their front door.

“Fine might not do it. I’m solving the mystery on who likes me, if any, till it kills me”, I groan. I stuff my compact in my little backpack, between my extra pair of panties and my swimsuit.

“I mean, they all like you, Marcy, but if any of them like you? I already told you, I don’t know, but I have a strong guess who does”, she shrugs.

“Who?”, I whisper.

“I can’t confirm anything, it won’t be fair to the guy. I could be wrong”, she slaps my arm.

“But tell me who you think?”, I beg. So-Yo knocks on the door.

“I’m not telling you shit, because I love you and I love these boys. Would I love for you and one of my boys to be together? Hell yes, but I can’t tell you who to choose”, she whispers. Tell me who to choose? So, does everyone like me then? Sungjin answers the door and welcomes us with big warm hugs. He’s definitely a teddy bear. I hear Jae in the kitchen shout for us. We all head to the kitchen, where we’re summoned, and see all of the guys leaning against the counters/appliances. They obviously had some drinks before we got there.

“We’re starting with some shots. We all need some time to chillax”, Jae welcomes us with some shots of clear liquid, probably vodka.

“Shots? Oh shit, you guys haven’t seen Wild CC yet”, So-Yo laughs before accepting the shot. The boys are intrigued.

“There’s a Wild CC?”, Brian chuckles before sipping out of his red solo cup. So-Yo nudges my arm.

“It’s been a long time since she’s seen Wild CC, but I still got it in me”, I bashfully accept the shot glass.

“Do you?”, she squints her eyes at me. Jae gasps. I scrunch my nose, pouting and take the shot like a champ. The shot was definitely not vodka. If there is one thing So-Yo and I bond over, it’s bets. The boys cheer for me as Jae pours me another one.

“Get it, C!”, Dowoon cheers. He calls me C, because it was difficult for him to say my name, so he gave me the nickname “C”. Jae tends to call me Mars, Brian calls me Marcy or my full name, Marcella, while Wonpil and Sungjin also call me Marcy.

“Did you eat before coming?”, Sungjin asks, being the dad of the group. So-Yo whispers to him. He exits the room, slightly worried.

“He’s going to order some food. Go meet your bachelors”, she whispers to me before taking her shot and following Sungjin, taking our bags with her. Now, I’m left alone with four beautiful Korean men.

“Am I going to take shots alone?”, I incite a group shot. The boys lift up their shots.

“May friendships never die, work hard play hard, hugs not drugs”, I toast before tapping my shot to the counter and shooting it back. They all laugh from my toast. At least I get them to laugh. The shots are getting tougher to take, but dammit, this is helping my nerves.

“Another”, I tap my glass to the counter, asking for a refill.

“One more, then you’re taking a break”, Brian puts his hand on my back, concern in his voice. I inhale sharply. He’s hugged me before, but his hand is touching my exposed back, his fingertips burning against my skin.

“Of course”, I smile at him. We all prep for another shot.

“May the memes be dank, music be fresh, and sex be mind blowing”, I pull straight out of my ass, avoiding eye contact with all of the boys. They are taken by surprise over the sex portion of my toast. I take my shot and look at them. I shrug my shoulders and they take their shots. So-Yo comes back to the kitchen.

“Holy shit, how many did you guys take?”, she questions.

“I’m on my third”, I give her the sign for three, so far not feeling any effect.

“I’m so fucking proud of you, but let’s sit down before it hits you all at once”, she gestures for me to exit the kitchen. I follow her out of the kitchen and straight to the living room.

“So, I got some tea from Sungjin”, she whispers. Shit, so that’s why she pulled me out of the kitchen!

“Like what?”, I silently squeal.

“So, they all really dig you, don’t worry about that, but he definitely knows of two of them who were bickering earlier about which one you like more”, she confesses.

“Which one I like more?”, I point to myself. She nods and sits me down on the couch.

“I don’t even know which one I like more”, I mumble to myself.

“Come on, there has to be one of them you like more”, she scoffs at me.

“Sort out the pros and cons and I’ll go grab us some snacks”, she blows me a kiss before heading back to the kitchen. I hear her chat with the boys in Korean. That sneaky bitch, I love her. Pros and cons for the boys? Well Younghyun/Brian is stunning, always finds the right things to say, and looks out for me, just like a minute ago. Cons? He can be pretty uptight, can’t read his face, and is almost too pretty to be single, if that is a con. Jae is funny, extra, adorable, and is always down for something stupid. Cons, he might be a little too extra, a little too loud, and I have yet to see his serious side more than once. Wonpil is a sweetheart, looks good in any outfit, and is lowkey teaching me piano. Cons, he is still too shy around me. Dowoon is goofy, has the best facial expressions, always finds a way to make me smile. Cons, is still too shy around me, similar to Wonpil, and his English is very beginner so it would be difficult to communicate with him at first.

I hear my name within their conversation in the kitchen. I peak my head in.

“Talking shit?”, I spook So-Yo.

“No, I was just telling them about your progress in grad school”, she pulls out of her ass. They all give me a round of applause. I squint my eyes at her. She gives me a little wink.

“Bullshit she told you, but thank you guys”, I thank them while I do a botched curtsy.

“To break the ice and to get to know each other. Let’s play a game of truth or lie”, So-Yo changes directions, showing her inner camp counselor.

“It’s where someone in the room says something about themselves or something that has happened, could be true or made up, hence the name. The rest of the group has to guess if it’s true or a lie. If everyone gets the answer right, the person telling the truth or lie has to drink. If the group splits answers, whoever is wrong drinks. It’s simple”, So-Yo explains the game then translates in Korean. They all seem pretty excited to play. We all crowd the counter to make ourselves some mixed drinks to use for the game. We all stand in a circle in the kitchen with our drinks. I wanted to stand next to So-Yo and Sungjin, but she low-key puts me in between Jae and Brian while she stands on the other side of the circle. They are both so fucking tall compared to me, I’m feeling intimidated.

“Since I suggested the game, I’ll go first. Marcy is the first friend I made in the US. Truth or lie”, So-Yo starts off the game. Nearly everyone says truth, except for me and Jae. It was a lie, I was the second friend she made in the US, but our friendship is the longest. The losers take a swig of their drinks. We go along a circle for more truth or lie.

“The longest sleep I ever had was fifteen hours. Truth or lie”, Sungjin contemplates. We all say lie, which was correct. He laughs and says he never counted the longest sleep he ever had and takes a big gulp of his drink.

I keep my eyes on So-Yo to avoid looking at the boys. Brian nudges my arm.

“Are you ok?”, he worries. My grip on the cup tightens. I nod. He puts his hand on my back again, this time his fingertips feel like ice against skin.

“Don’t tense up, we’re all friends here”, he mouths. I hold the cup up to my face to hide my blushing cheeks. He flashes a smile at me.

“You’re cute when you’re shy”, he whispers before putting his hand in his pocket. Say what? Did I hear him correctly! It gets to my turn and so far I learned that Wonpil can’t lie to save his life, reminds me of myself, while Brian can lie through his teeth, proving my theory of him being mysterious.

“Marcy, truth or lie”, So-Yo purses her lips. All eyes are on me.

“What could I say?”, I try to gain inspiration.

“Be bold! Bet you won’t say something crazy”, So-Yo raises an eyebrow. Bitch knows how to get me. Everyone ooo’s at me, acknowledging the challenge.

“Fine, I’ll go bold”, I mumble.

“I play your songs as background noise while I masturbate. Truth or lie”, I shrug. So-Yo falls to her knees laughing. That bitch knows it’s true. There are mixed reactions around the room. Wonpil is blushing more than me, nearly turning as red as our cups. Dowoon didn’t understand the question so Jae explained it to him in Korean, resulting in him taking a huge gulp of his drink. Brian taps his leg nervously. Jae squints at me, trying to see through my poker face. Jokes on him, I can’t lie to save my life and today they’re going to learn that. Sungjin just does his iconic “what the fuck did I just hear” look at So-Yo, who is still on the floor laughing, this time nearly crying.

“Is it the truth or is it a lie?”, I ask the room.

“Which songs?”, Jae incites more information.

“Which songs I play? Well, Shoot Me, Time of Our Life, Dance Dance, I Wait, How Can I Say, Chocolate, I can say more if you want”, I list.

“Oh, it’s definitely a lie, you can’t masturbate to those songs”, Jae shakes his head.

“I didn’t say I masturbate to those songs, I play those songs in the background”, I explain.

“Dowoon?”, I ask for his answer.

“Truth”, he hesitates.

“I’m saving you for last, everyone is just going to copy you”, I point to So-Yo.

“Sungjin?”, I gesture to the sweet teddy bear who desperately wants to give me the disappointed dad face.

“Lie”, he shakes his head, sipping his drink.

“Lie”, Wonpil avoids eye contact with me. That poor boy must be dying of embarrassment. I guess he doesn’t want to accept that I listen to his singing while I pleasure myself. Oh well.

“Brian?”, I twiddle my thumbs.

“Lie”, he smirks at me. Sucker.

“So-Yo, what is it, truth or lie?”, I point to my best girl.

“It’s the fucking truth! Drink up!”, So-Yo cheers. Everyone exclaims their non-belief.

“She’s my roommate, you don’t think I won’t notice that shit? Let’s just say, she’s not quiet”, she teases before sipping her drink. I gasp. Jae and Brian look at me, wondering what I’m going to say next.

Realizing I completely embarrassed myself, I scurry out of the room. I should just go. I lost my chance, I should’ve just stayed home. I fight the urge to cry as I run to the bathroom. My hands grip onto the sink, having water run to fade out the noises of me almost crying. The more I think about it, the worse it gets. I didn’t realize how tipsy I am till I look at my hands and notice how much I’m swaying. I should just go home and sleep, forget this night happened.

I hear a knock on the door. I fan myself to dry any tears.

“Yes?”, I ask, hoping my voice didn’t crack. The door creaks open.

“Marcy. It’s just me”, Brian whispers. I turn my back to him.

“I could be peeing, what the fuck”, I laugh, wiping tears off my cheek. Brian closes the door behind him.

“I learned that you can’t lie. Also, you would’ve actually yelled at me if you were”, he laughs before hugging me from behind. His arms wrapped around me makes me feel so secure and safe.

“Talk to me”, Brian whispers, putting his head on my shoulder.

“Did I fuck myself up by telling you guys about the thing?”, I hesitate.

“Don’t overthink it. It’s flattering, actually”, he chuckles. Thinking of him taking this as a compliment makes me giggle. Of course, out of all people, confident Brian would take this differently. Or he’s just saying this to make me smile.

“Let’s go swimming. We all need to cool off”, he squeezes me tighter. I grab his forearm and rub my thumb against his skin.

“Thank you”, I whisper. His heartbeat pounds against my back.

“We’re all friends here”, he mumbles. He kisses my head and storms out of the bathroom. First, he puts his hand on my back, calls me cute, comforts me in the bathroom, and now he kisses my head! I may be a dumb bitch, but I’m not that dumb.

Where did So-Yo put my bag? I peak my head out of the door, hoping to see it close by. I notice Sungjin and So-Yo sitting in the couch, giving each other googly eyes, already dressed in their swimsuits. Gross, but I love them so much. I find my bag by the corner of the hallway where the bathroom is. I manage to snag it without being noticed.

I change into my swimsuit, feeling more vulnerable. Stepping out of the bathroom, I’m welcomed by So-Yo.

“I got more tea”, she whispers. I’m all here for the tea!

“I know the two who were bickering”, she recalls the conversation from earlier.

“One of them has to be Brian, we just had a moment in the bathroom”, I gesture a hug.

“Oh”, So-Yo eyes widen. Oh?! Is one of them not Brian?!

“Do you like Brian?”, she mouths. I blush.

“Maybe I do?”, I shrug.

“That’s a yes”, she smiles at me.

“Why, who’s the other person?”, I slightly panic.

“You really haven’t noticed the way Jae looks at you?”, she expresses her shook face. I grab the door frame beside me.

“What?!”, I exclaim.

Sungjin walks in and gathers us to join the rest of the group at the front door. Brian raises his eyebrows, seeing me in my bikini for the first time. Wonpil’s eyes widen. Jae does a little shuffle in place, trying not to look at me. Looking at these boys in their swim shorts makes me want to audibly whine “why the fuck are you all so pretty?!”. Why the fuck do they all look so good? To stop myself from staring, I keep my eyes on So-Yo. Sungjin hands So-Yo and I some towels and leads all of us to the pool on the roof. I leave my phone to charge, also to not get it wet.

It’s Jae and Brian that like me? No fucking way. Brian is at least flirty, Jae hasn’t shown any sign of him liking me. Oh shit. I forgot about the late night texting of random shit, shower thoughts type of dumb topics. I am truly a dumb bitch.

We get to the pool and it’s deserted. Jae swoops me in his arms and carries me to the edge of the pool.

“Jae!”, I squeal, terrified of him dropping me.

“I’m not going to drop you”, he cackles.

“Good”, I huff.

“I’m taking both of us in”, he shouts before jumping into the pool. I splash at him when we get to the surface. Everyone joins in on their own. Brian giving an expressionless face. Oh no, does he think I like Jae? Wait, do I like Jae? I swim to So-Yo. I try to be quiet enough for Sungjin to not notice.

“What do you mean by the way he looks at me?”, I whisper.

“He looks at you like you two are in a fucking Disney film”, she scoffs.

“Do you like him?”, she continues.

“I don’t know” I mumble.

“You’re still wondering who likes you?”, Sungjin chuckles. I shush him, trying to not catch the others attention.

“She knows it’s Brian and Jae. She can’t pick which one she likes”, So-Yo informs him. He gives me his “I really want to give you advice” look.

“It’s ok if you don’t know right away. When you know, you just have to talk to them”, he shrugs. I groan.

“That’s the hard part”, I mouth.

“Take each of them out on a date. See who you like more”, she suggests. This is getting overwhelming.

“A date?”, I exhale. I hear Brian call for me from a distance. So-Yo nods at me while I swim to the direction of his voice. Brian is sitting at the shallow end with the rest of the guys.

“We want to get to know you some more”, Jae grins at me. Oh Lord, they know I masturbate with their songs playing in the background and they still want to know me? Fuck. Maybe I am a delight.

“What do you want to know?”, I nervously rub my hands together.

“What was the weirdest nickname you ever had?”, Jae takes over with the questions.

“Weirdest nickname. I don’t know what would be considered weird”, I wonder.

“Tell them about Strawberry!”, So-Yo shouts, slowly swimming her way to us.

“Strawberry?”, Wonpil asks.

“Oh, goodness”, I laugh, hiding my face.

“Tell us about Strawberry”, Brian looks at me, eager to know.

“So, when I was really little, I really liked this boy. Probably my first crush. One day, he confronted me about my crush because his friends were teasing him about it. I was blushing so hard that my face was all pink, and back then, my freckles were more noticeable, so the boy told me I looked like a strawberry. Some kids overheard and proceeded to call me Strawberry. The name stuck all throughout my school years, it fucking sucked but looking back at it now, it’s cute. I don’t mind it anymore”, I share. Everyone was all awing my story.

Sungjin runs out of the pool and rushes downstairs. So-Yo reminded him about our food, that’s why. He gets back to the roof and tells us food is ready. We all groan about leaving the pool so early, but there’s food, we can’t complain too much.

We go back to the apartment and stuff our faces with food, sobering up pretty quickly. We exchange some stories, some laughs. So-Yo turns on a movie to keep us occupied till we get tired.

Sungjin was nice enough to tell us we’re staying the night, there was no way we were going to go back home in our condition. Brian offers his bed for me, saying he’ll take the couch. What a gentleman.

After the movie, it’s time for all of us to go get some sleep. Dowoon stays up to play some video games. Wonpil gives me a hug goodnight, which is shocking, and heads to his room. Sungjin and So-Yo head to his room, waving good-bye, while So-Yo gives me a wink. Jae hands me my phone that I nearly forgot about, for once.

“Night, Strawberry”, he sticks out his tongue. I pretend to hit him with my phone. He dramatically flails in pain as he goes to his room. Then there’s just Brian and I. He escorts me to his room. He digs around his closet and tosses me a t-shirt.

“It’s good to sleep comfortably”, he smiles. I look at the shirt, loving the material. It’s a simple white tee but the material is soft and smells beautiful. I grab my bag and pull out my extra panties so I won’t have to wear dirty underwear to bed. Brian notices the panties and blushes. I don’t recall him ever being flustered.

“Thank you so much for tonight. We should do this more often”, I sigh.

“We should. Sweet dreams, Marcy”, he bows his head and leaves his room, giving me privacy to change. I strip out of my swimsuit and into this heavenly shirt and clean panties. Fuck, I love this shirt. I take a whiff of the scent and holy shit I’m swooning. It smells like his cologne, but also smells clean, basically smells like boy.

I crawl into bed, absorbing myself in his soft sheets. I imagine him sleeping in this bed and it brings butterflies to my stomach. I hear a knock on the door.

“It’s your girl”, So-Yo whispers before opening the door. I wrap myself like a burrito.

“You’re loving his bed without him in it? That’s sad”, she cackles. I shush her to keep quiet.

“I can call him in, he’ll be happy to be here seeing you be a caterpillar”, she giggles.

“Do it, you won’t”, I groan at her before I spread out the blanket. I turn off the light so I can actually sleep. So-Yo didn’t close the door, that monster. Whatever, I’ll sleep through it. I roll around to find the best position to sleep.

There’s another knock on my door. I grunt to show a lack of interest in talking. I didn’t hear anything afterwards, it must’ve been my imagination. I feel a dip in the mattress.

“It’s just me”, Brian whispers, scaring the shit out of me. I flip over and see him perfectly from the moonlight glistening him.

“Holy shit, she did call you in”, I mumble. He chuckles under his breath.

“May I?”, he lightly tugs on the blanket. Don’t have to ask me twice! I flip open the blanket for him to crawl inside.

“Can we snuggle? You can say no”, I test the waters.

“You don’t have to ask”, he cackles before taking me in his arms. Fuck, I really needed this. In this snuggle party: I’m on my side, facing him, while he lays on his back, one arm supporting my head and the other is wrapped around my waist. Out of impulse, I put my leg against his, almost putting it between them. My silky smooth leg low-key rubs against his leg hair. Wait, is he wearing just his underwear? Dare I check?

“Are you just wearing your underwear?”, I mumble.

“Shorts”, he whispers.

“Are you wearing just your underwear?”, he turns the direction to me. His heart is nearly pounding out of his chest. It’s interesting that he gives off his confident exterior, but his heartbeat says otherwise.

“We’re not talking about me here”, I tease. He combs his fingers through my hair.

“Thank you for being comfortable with me”, he whispers. His voice is different. Not the cute, handsome voice that I’m used to. This voice is deeper, solem almost. My hands were wrapped around myself to be a little mummy, but I slowly unraveled to place one hand on his chest and the other rubbing my knuckles on his cheek. How am I nervous around you, but am still so comfortable? I can still see him perfectly from the illumination of the moonlight. He’s even more handsome than I could imagine.

“Brian”, I hesitate. He turns his head and gives me a peck on the lips. I lay there speechless over him taking the plunge that I was going to do.

“You do look like a strawberry when you blush like that”, he scrunches his face. I grab his face and kiss him back. He pulls me by the waist to get on top of him. I sit on his lap, loving the loose clothing keeping us from touching skin to skin. I continue kissing him, slowly rolling my hips. He grabs my hips and guides me to a perfect rhythm. His dick gets hard in seconds, teasing me from how close it is to me.

“Oh, fuck”, he moans.

“You feel so good”, he whispers.

“Do I?”, I tease. I put my hand under my crotch to palm him through his shorts. His moans turn into a raspy growl. He flips me over so that I’m on my back, having him hover above me. His hand goes straight to my folds, his index finger doing a long strip along me. I groan from the contact. His mouth latches to my neck, ferociously kissing and sucking, as if he’s hungry for this. His heavy petting is making me weak. I continue to palm him, feeling his dick twitch from my contact.

“You’re already so wet for me. Fuck”, he moans against my skin.

“Brian, please”, I manage to speak.

“Tell me what you want, baby”, his voice deepens.

“I want you”, I whine. He bites down on my neck, definitely going to leave a visible mark that will be noticeable in the morning. He slams his clothed dick on me, rubbing himself against my wet panties.

“How do you want me?”, he continues. His pace quickens.

“I want you inside of me”, I moan in his ear. He groans and pulls himself away from me entirely, sitting beside me with his knees to his chest.

“No, not like this”, he brushes his hair back, wiping the sweat off his forehead. I sit up and nudge his arm.

“What’s wrong?”, I mumble, trying to keep my composure.

“You’re my friend. Friends don’t do this”, he pants.

“Brian”, I grab his hand.

“I just need some time. I know I like you, I like you so much, I just need some time to know if I want a relationship yet”, he confesses. I’m still compiling what the fuck just happened, but I’m flexible.

“I understand”, I smile. He’s very open with me about his past relationships, which I am very thankful for.

“If you don’t want to wait, I understand”, Brian starts to ramble. I never saw him like this, collapsing. He always looked to have his shit together, but seeing him this way, being human who can break, is cleansing. I squeeze his hand to get his attention.

“Let’s just get some sleep. We can talk about this later, alright?”, I suggest. He nods and lays back down.

“Would you still want to cuddle?”, he murmurs. I get all snuggly in his arms.

“You don’t have to ask”, quoting him from earlier.

“We have a small concert tomorrow night if you want to come. We snagged a ticket in case you weren’t busy”, he invites. I bury my face in his chest.

“I’d love to finally see you perform live”, I scrunch my face.

“Perfect”, he chuckles before getting into a deep sleep.

There’s no fucking way So-Yo is going to believe this shit. No, no, I shouldn’t tell her, not till him and I talk for real about what’s going to happen with us.

He looks like such an angel, doesn’t even snore. I hope we can move on from this, my feelings for him become even more clear, reflecting on how he was with me earlier tonight and just now. I wonder what he has in mind for our conversation.

#day6 smut #day6 fluff #day6 fanfic

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bitchinrichie · 5 years

Text

Major IT chapter two spoilers!!

Adult! Stanley Uris x Reader

This is an AU, all italics are flashbacks, this is chapter one of this fic

September 1989

“Swear, swear i-if it ever comes back we’ll come back too,” as Bill held a broken piece of glass you felt yourself tearing up as you nodded. Stan took your hand as if he had just known- he always knew the best ways to comfort you. Bill approached you like he had with the other losers and dragged the glass across your palm as you hissed in pain. You swore and you meant it now it was only a hope that it never came back.

September 2016 (27 years later)

“Y/n?.... Y/n!.... Y/N L/N!!!!!” Your boss Roger had been screaming for you for the last five minutes.

“Shit! Sorry Roger I’m just trying to perfect the last part of this frame,” you sighed, looking away from the computer screen for the first time in 5 hours.

“You’re working insanely hard on this short you know that right?”

“I’m head animator!! Of course I’m working really hard, I’ve wanted this my entire life!” Roger just laughed at you.

“Okay you have my attention, what’s going on?”

“Your phone has been going off the hook for the past ten minutes!” He handed you your phone you left by your bag, you opened your mouth to say something but nothing came out. Your phone started buzzing once again, a call from Maine-

“Hello this Y/n L/n..”

“Y/n? It’s Mike. Mike Hanlon from Derry.”

“Oh shi- h-hey Mike. Fuck please tell me you’re calling because you’re in town?” You bite your lip in anticipation and start to hyperventilate.

“I wish it was y/n I really do but I need your help.”

You honest to god couldn’t believe this was happening again. But then again you hadn’t thought about- no you didn’t remember anything until Mike called and it hits you like a freight train. Everything- at least what you thought was everything, every moment, every emotion, every single one of the-

“Losers club,” the floor felt like it dropped beneath you and suddenly you were on your knees, feeling a hand clamp down on your shoulder tipped you over the edge and you screamed and sobbed curling in on yourself.

There were distant voices and everything was blurry, you felt yourself being picked up and set down in a chair and you could make out faces in front of you.

“Shit! She blacked out!”

“She’s been working too hard,”

“Y/n! Y/N!! Come on, look at me!”

***

You had been sent home after you passed out, they thought it was stress, so they made you promise to take at least a week off.

As soon as you pulled into the driveway, you took off running to pack because god knows you were leaving as soon as possible. Were you scared? There was no doubt about it but you made a promise. So you got on the next plane to Derry, Maine.

***

Pulling up to the Jade of the Orient had you reeling in lost memories, it almost didn’t feel like Derry but you knew well enough it wouldn’t be this nice of a visit.

“Holy shit is that little y/n all grown up? In heels no less, I remember you telling me you’d never be caught dead in a pair,” pulled from your thoughts, Richie Tozier stood with his hands in his pockets, laughing at you.

“Trashmouth Tozier, shit I actually missed your terrible jokes.” He just laughed again, holding his arms out for you and you hugged him tight. He had been your best friend before you met the rest of the losers with the exception of Stanley Uris.

“Y/n? Is that you?” Letting go of Richie you were faced with your first love, the one person you hated yourself for forgetting-

You were sat on Stan’s bed, peering over his shoulder as he showed you his collection of bird photographs he had taken. Your arms were wrapped around his torso gently and he would smile over at you every so often sometimes adding a small peck on the lips. You were supposed to be studying but he was too excited to show you pictures of his beloved birds.

“Stan! Oh my god!” You didn’t realize you were running toward him until you were close enough, wrapping your arms around him. He reciprocated and you could feel his laughter bubbling up.

“How’ve you been bird man?” Richie came toward the both of you as you let go and Stan hugged Richie. The two men only laughed at each other and turned back to you.

“I see your music taste never wavered?” Looking down at your Queen shirt and back at the new voice which you soon realized belonged to Ben Hanscom.

“Oh don’t start with me new kid on the block,” you smirked and he shook his head as he hugged you which ended very quickly as you were pulled away by the resident redhead of the group.

“Hey Bev, I missed you too.”

***

Entering the restaurant was surreal, finding the other three members: Eddie, Bill, and Mike around the table. Many hugs were given and no one could pass up teasing anyone at the table. It felt like no time had passed, you all had grown up together, those 27 years apart just disappeared.

You had sat between Stan and Richie and every so often, Stan’s hand would brush against yours. You felt like a teenager again but you were unfortunately brought back down to earth.

“Y'know when Mike called me, I threw up. Like I was sweaty and nauseous,” Richie let out a shaky breath- “I’m okay now- why is everyone looking at me like this??”

“I crashed my car when I was on the phone with him,” coughed out Eddie.

“I passed out at work, they all thought it was stress but I started panicking during the call,” everyone had very similar moment surrounding the call. Then it just seemed to click in everyone’s mind but no one said anything until Bev let out a choked sob,

“Pennywise.”

“The clown?” Everyone let out a collective shaky sigh, frantically looking around for confirmation. And there was just silence until the fortune cookies were brought over.

“I don’t know who’s making the fortunes but they aren’t very good mine just says me,” the paper was thrown into the middle as Bill sighed.

“Mine just says decided.” Richie stared at it in confusion and then tossed his in the middle with Bill’s. Everyone started placing their fortunes in the middle to piece together what it said. It was just arguing and yelling until Bev put hers down and everyone shut up.

YOU’VE DECIDED TO COME HOME TO ME LOSERS

Almost as if on cue the cookies started shaking in the bowl and one by one they popped out, cracking into pieces revealing gross bugs and parts. You all backed away from the table, Stan’s hand immediately found yours as you stood terrified. Mike began hitting the table with a chair and screaming it wasn’t real no matter how fucking real it felt.

***

“I can’t do this Mike, I’m sorry I just can’t. I’m going back to the inn, getting my shit and leaving!” Richie stormed off to his car, followed by Eddie and Stan. You eventually walked off finding Stan leaning against his car, with his head in his hands.

“Hey, it’s okay, I’m right here,” you pulled his hands away and he pulled you against him and you let him hold you silently. As he let go, wiping his nose, he kissed your temple and drove away.

***

It was a frantic mess of Richie trying to leave, Eddie getting his stuff from upstairs, and no one knowing what to do. You joined Stan and Bev in drinking from the old bar, downing the scotch in silence.

“We can’t leave, if we leave we die.” Bev says taking another drink.

“And you know this how??” Richie demanded.

“I saw it. I’ve seen us all die. In the-“

“Deadlights.” Finished Bill- “She was the only one of us that got caught in the deadlights.”

“No, she wasn’t. When I was attacked I saw it too,” Stan squeezed your hand, adding more pressure as he spoke.

“If we don’t stop IT this cycle, we all die-“

“If we go after IT now we still fucking die, we all remember what happened last time right??” Richie was right but they all knew the choices given and if IT wasn’t stopped, more people were going to die.

@unamused-fangirl @peteporkers @dry-brian @multi-parker @finnie-wolfhard @chipoisaloser

#stanley uris #it ch 2 spoilers #it chapter 2 #it chap 2 #it 2019 #richie tozier #beverly marsh #ben hanscom #mike hanlon #bill denbrough #eddie kaspbrak #stan x reader #stan uris x reader #stanley uris x reader #it x reader #it 2019 x reader

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medea10 · 4 years

Text

My Review of Rinne

(a.k.a. Kyoukai no Rinne)

How did I get into this anime? Let’s just say the creator of this series, I’m a fan of. Rumiko Takahashi is the creator of this series as well as several other well-known anime series including Ranma ½, Urusei Yatsura, Maison Ikkoku, and my personal favorite InuYasha. That alone was reason for me to get heavily interested from the get-go. But because of the time it came out, I had too much on my plate to pick up one more anime, so I put it on the back-burner for a few years. And despite the mediocre score and listless hype over this, I’m still interested to see what Rin-ne is all about.

As a child, Mamiya Sakura has been different from other children. When she was a child, Sakura ended up in the afterworld and returned to the world of the living after a day of wandering around. After that incident, she gained the ability to see ghosts/spirits. Fast-forward to the present where she’s a high school student and meets a Shinigami named Rinne Rokudou. Rinne is a half-human (which is rare in the afterworld) and works as a Shinigami like his parents and grandmother before him. He can be seen by regular humans, but if he wears a special cloak, he becomes invisible to everyone. This makes it easy to put spirits to rest without being seen by humans!

Both Rinne and Sakura are able to see what others cannot and this often helps Rinne when he takes on a mission. Throughout the series, Rinne ends up taking on random spirits every episode with a cute mascot that often helps him (Rokumon), a love rival (Tsubasa Jumonji), a girl who likes him (Ageha), and several other colorful characters in the human and afterworld. Check out the afterlife. Just be sure to bring your checkbook, nothing’s for free!

BETWEEN THE SUB AND THE DUB: Sentai Filmworks is the licensor of this series and by the looks of it, this series has already been released in video formats and has no dub to speak of. So I’m going to assume there will be no dub to this in the future. This is kind of a blessing to me! Because if I’m watching a Rumiko Takahashi series, I would highly prefer hearing the voice actors of Vancouver! That’s right, if this series doesn’t contain Richard Ian Cox, Kelly Sheridan, Brad Swaile, or Brian Drummond, the dub will be scum.

Okay, I admit that’s mean. I grew accustomed to the other Takahashi classics that if this got a dub, I would have flipped if I saw the Texas voice actors on this.

As for the sub…where oh where could Kappei Yamaguchi be? Oh where, oh where could he be? One way or another, we are going to hear him. And we do! BUT, he’s not a main character this time. That honor goes to Kaito Ishikawa. Everything in the last three years has gone to this guy. And who am I to complain? I friggin’ love him in nearly everything he’s in. Yeah, this series does have a lot of familiar voices, including several that have been memorable characters in Takahashi’s other series. Kappei Yamaguchi (who is well known for InuYasha and Ranma) is featured as well as Satsuki Yukino (well known for Kagome on InuYasha) Here’s what you might recognize these folks from.

*Rinne is played by (known for Kiawe on Pokemon SM, Genos on One Punch Man, Mitsuo on Golden Time, Urie on Tokyo Ghoul :re, Sakakibara on Assassination Classroom, and Naofumi on Shield Hero)

*Sakura is played by Marina Inoue (known for Sonia on Pokemon Journeys, Armin on Attack on Titan, Yoko on Gurren Lagann, Jessica on Umineko, Kyouko on Skip Beat, Wataru on Hayate, and Rei on H.O.T.D.)

*Rokumon is played by Hitomi Nabatame (known for Serena’s Mother on Pokemon XY, Yukiji on Hayate, Margery Daw on Shakugan no Shana, Saori on Oreimo, Nanao on Bleach, and Raynare on High School DxD)

FAVORITE CHARACTER: I have a guilty pleasure for Kain’s cat, Suzu. She’s just so care-free that she fucks up at least 98% of the time she’s shown on this show. And I gotta admit that she makes me laugh whenever she’s on the screen.

DISLIKED CHARACTER: You would think I would pick that snot-nosed brat (Shouma) introduced in season two for this list. Or Kain for that matter! Both of these boys annoy the living fuck out of me whenever they’re in an episode. But then Rinne’s father peaks his douchey head in.

Oh wow, horrible parent alert! Sabato Rokudou is Rinne’s father and holy shit what a bloody scumbag. He’s on the same tier as the parents from Hayate the Combat Butler. Yeah, that bad! As we all know, the after-world is a capitalist society and everything has a price. This guy has been stealing his own son’s money since he was a little boy. Add to that, Sabato fills his son with false promises (including meeting his own mother). Even in his current age, Sabato finds ways to steal money from his son when he’s trying to earn means while living in the world of the living. Even putting him in a million yen in debt! And just causing life to be miserable for Rinne whenever he comes by! Tamako, how could you birth such an inconsiderate bastard into being?

Nice to see my prediction from when I wrote my Worst Father’s of Anime list over a year ago came true. Sabato remained a dick-head throughout all three seasons. Amazing! I guess the only nice thing about him is that he’s not going to be in a relationship with Ichigo while she’s still a child.

SHIPPING: So Kyokai no Rinne is following the same protocol as a lot of Rumiko Takahashi’s other animes. So we have the male and female main protagonist that’s going to be the main ship (even though it seems more friend-zoned most of the time). There will be a reoccurring girl character to cause friction between this main ship because she loves the male protagonist. And we have to add several boys after the main female’s heart too.

And just for good measure, let’s add a boy interested in the male lead and a couple of secondary ships that may or may not happen.

Hey, InuYasha and Ranma ½ had the same setup. Rinne is just following suit!

Rinne x Sakura has pretty much setting sail since the end of season two even without a full-on confession from either one of them. Rinne has had feelings for Sakura since season one. Sakura on the other hand, I can’t get a grip on what she wants in terms of a romantic partner. I want to say she’s oblivious to the advances of Jumonji or Ageha’s jealousy, but on the other hand, I feel like Sakura just doesn’t care what happens romantic wise. But the fact that she’s constantly helping Rinne might be a big, fat clue.

Rinne x Ageha is that one-sided ship that you know is never gonna happen (along with Sakura x Jumonji), but it doesn’t stop die-hard shippers from supporting it until their final breaths. I am actually impressed that Ageha doesn’t hold a grudge against Rinne because his father kinda brain-washed Ageha’s sister into giving Sabato money all the time. Several other characters hate Rinne for that alone, yet Ageha is still devoted to loving Rinne.

I do wonder that once Rinne x Sakura are a sure-thing if Jumonji and Ageha are going to hook up.

Rinne x Matsugo was one of the wildest ships I could have imagined. First of all, Matsugo’s debut episode came with a hint of love-hate. But by the end, Matsugo went from hating Rinne over a misunderstanding to going all “Bros before Hoes” on us! After that Matsugo stopped at nothing to get Rinne. Even blowing off the one girl that actually likes this obsessed freak!

Kain x Renge is actually the one ship that doesn’t revolve around Rinne because both Kain and Renge hate Rinne’s guts. Renge likes Kain, but also has to hide some pretty heinous things from him like working for Rinne’s father as a Damashi-shinigami. And as we all know, Kain has a vendetta against Sabato, his family, and anyone affiliated with Damashis due to his own family situation. Kain unfortunately sees Renge as an ally or a friend. He wants her to continue her studies since Kain can’t go to school. Dude ain’t got time for a side-chick! He’s gotta work for a living because his mother gives all their money away to Sabato.

That guy seriously grinds my gears.

RUMIC WORLD EASTER EGGS: Rumiko Takahashi has been around for quite some time and many of her creations have become quite well-known. That’s why when Rinne came in anime form, fans took to the forums to gab about how Ageha is the spitting image of a one-shot villain from InuYasha or that Sakura’s mother has a resemblance of Lum or that Jumonji looks like a modern-day Miroku (minus the perverted charm). Every now and then, we get a special little easter egg shown from Takahashi’s other works. Most notably, Lum shown on the currency and carnival prizes that have a lot of figures from Ranma ½!

My favorite easter egg was of course during a next episode preview where Sabato and Tamako (who are voiced by Kappei Yamaguchi and Satsuki Yukino) end up doing some dialogue that’s…

…You all know what this is…

END OF SEASON ONE: So the final episode, Sakura was able to have something she hasn’t been able to obtain in over 10 years. Three days of peace without having to be bugged by a spirit. As a reminder, Sakura as a child visited the other world and after that experience, she’s been able to see spirits. Tamao gave Sakura some candy to eat so that she would be like every other human around her and not see spirits every waking second.

This couldn’t have come at a worse time for Rinne as he had to take out over 5,000 spirits in the middle of an A-1 run. And because Sakura accidentally opened the barrier containing these spirits, they were trying to come after her. So Rinne had to get rid of all 5,000 (and lose money in the process with special tools). It took three days, but Rinne was able to do that. And because Rinne had his special coat on (where normal humans are unable to see him), Sakura wasn’t able to see him until the candy wore off. Even though Sakura got a whole bag of those candies, she hasn’t used them again.

At the end of the episode, Rinne and Sakura break the fourth wall by announcing that a second season was coming!

SEASON TWO: Oh thank you Jesus, the opening and ending themes aren’t bland bags of genericness like the previous season. Great improvement, especially when you get one of the best singers from Love Live to do the opening theme! Good on you!

Music ranting aside, this season we are introduced to a lot of new characters in the human and spirit world that are going to be seen more often than not. Starting things off, apparently Ageha has a cat employee (much like the relationship between Rinne and Rokumon). Except Ageha and Obero’s relationship is a lot more dysfunctional. Kain also has a cat employee named Suzu. She’s more spazzy compared to Kain’s serious demeanor. Actually, there are several cat characters introduced this series and even a few episodes dedicated to them later on.

One more thing I should mention about this particular season is that we got to see Sakura have a little more growth here. For a while I found her too plain for my taste, but this season we see her become a Shinigami (for a day) and we even get possible love interest with the finale. Now let’s head over to that part.

END OF SEASON TWO: The final two episodes consisted of Rinne being invited to a high school mixer in the Afterworld by a former friend, Matsugo. The thing is Matsugo used to hold a vendetta against Rinne due to a misunderstanding from their childhood. But unlike every other misunderstanding from this series, this one was resolved within an episode or two and Matsugo’s buddies with Rinne again. Actually, Matsugo’s feelings are teetering from childhood friend to full-blown bromance.

How do you get rid of a nuisance who can’t take a hint? Bring Sakura with you to the mixer and have her pretend to be your girlfriend! The big problem here is that Rinne is putting food and money over Sakura. And if you were in Rinne’s shoes, you can see that these two are more important than a girl. Rinne is poor as fuck! If he gets a chance at winning some money or food, absolutely fuck everything else! Unfortunately, Sakura caught wind of all of these ulterior motives and started to question her own relationship with Rinne. And I gotta hand it to Sakura, because if this were an old-school Rumiko Takahashi female protagonist like Akane or Kagome, Rinne would have been destroyed in a matter of seconds. Sakura doesn’t cuss him out or show a resting bitch-face. Actually, she never does! But by the end of this two-parter, Rinne realized that Sakura is pretty important to her, maybe even more than other things.

At the end of the episode, Rinne and Sakura break the fourth wall again by announcing that a third season was coming!

SEASON THREE: Much like the previous season, we’re continuously introduced to new characters that serve some sort of purpose, a new love triangle involving the main or supporting cast, and 2-3 filler stories an episode. However, in the mid-point, we get introduced to 2 new characters that answer some questions that have plagued many of us since the beginning.

You know how nearly every male protagonist of Rumiko Takahashi has a missing mother? Whether it be due to premature demise or she’s a crazy-bitch like in Ranma ½, the mother figure is usually M.I.A. Otome was Rinne’s mother, but she disappeared when he was a baby. Only now, her scythe returns suddenly. Add to that, a mysterious little girl named Ichigo moves into the area (and just like Sakura, she can see spirits).

Long story short, Ichigo is the reincarnation of Otome (Rinne’s mother). I can get over this whole Kikyo/Kagome crap because this is a Rumiko classic. But I just feel ewwie whenever I see Ichigo and Sabato. Thankfully Sabato has no intention of doing anything creepy to Ichigo. He has some standards, so he gets a point with me there. The reason why Otome disappeared was because she wanted to hide her old yearbooks from Sabato, which lead to her being caught up in a stampede of wild animals that lead her to the wheel of reincarnation. And the reason why she was trying to hide these old yearbooks was because she didn’t want Sabato to know the ugly truth.

That she is really two years younger…than her mother-in-law.

Dude…I know Tamako looks extremely young to even be a grandmother…but damn, Otome goes to these lengths to lie about her age.

ENDING: We don’t really get any kind of monumental moment or climax until the very final episode since all of the episodes between Ichigo’s reveal and the finale were mostly just side-stories involving spirits/demons of the day. The final episode had Rinne, Sakura, Renge, and Jumonji taking part of a school festival at Matsugo’s school. But it mostly takes place in a test of courage cave. Apparently this feature is notorious for causing many couples to break up and people can’t turn around otherwise they’re disqualified. But if you make it all the way through, free food! And you know Rinne is not going to turn down a chance to get free food.

But we get another moment much like the end of season two where Rinne has to choose between food and/or money or Sakura. Actually, Rinne ended up choosing Sakura. And unlike a bunch of other pissed off couples, Rinne and Sakura’s relationship (or lack there of) is doing pretty well.

So we end with no love confessions on any front, no happy ending for Rinne in hitting a Shinigami lottery or some crap like that, and no hope in a fourth season.

*sighs*

This was…just an okay anime. I can see why people just think this is okay or mediocre. With me, there were several things that bugged. First of all, I found several things in the anime that felt very inconsistent. Especially when it came to the spirits plaguing the human world! There are some scenes where something out of the ordinary happens and it plays out like you would expect like people freaking out. But then you get these moments where, okay, why are regular humans seeing this? The annoying narrator likes to point out the obvious in literally every episode. Why, didn’t we establish the obvious earlier?

Speaking of the narrator, could you be any more annoying?! How many times are you going to remind us of things in the series? I know there are useful moments with the narrator like when he’s describing all the different items Rinne and other Shinigami use to put a soul to rest. But then there’s this repetitive nature to the narrator where he constantly reminds you of shit you’ve known since episode 1. It’s useful when you want to remind the audience at the beginning of each season, but not every couple of episodes. WE ALL KNOW RINNE CAN’T BE SEEN BY HUMANS IF HE’S WEARING HIS CLOAK! SHUT UP ALREADY!

I’m not sure if the anime covered everything in the manga as I have not picked up the books…yet. I’m sure the manga has gotten a little further with many of these potential ships like Rinne x Sakura to hope that maybe one day we’ll get something from them. I’ve spent a good year and a half trying to grasp at what I really think of Sakura Mamiya. First of all, she’s a huge improvement in the main female role. When you compare her to the other girls from Takahashi’s works like Kagome or Akane (who eat Carnation Instant Bitch every morning), Sakura is quite pleasant.

But then you see Sakura showing no other emotion besides satisfied, meh, and let me put on my surprise face. She hardly ever gets mad. I’m not saying go on a rampage like Kagome when she yells at InuYasha, but for fuck’s sake, tell Rinne off every now and then. Christ-balls, he’s put food and money over you so many times you’ve earned a few yells. And he constantly borrows money from you and you know he’ll never pay you back!

The story is mostly the spirit of the day trope. In later seasons however, we get two or three mini stories an episode dealing with some sort of spirit with no personal growth involving any of the main characters. Rinne gets ahead during the episode, but gets smacked back to where he began and we repeat the same thing in the next episode. So yeah, it got boring when we’re stuck in a slump like that. I even had high hopes in season two when we got that one episode where Sakura was a Shinigami for the day. I thought Sakura was going to evolve a little bit after that, but alas that was not the case. We go right back to the spirit(s) of the day trope!

But I always felt drawn back with several of the colorful characters. I always enjoy Rinne’s grandmother, Tamako. Kain’s cat, Suzu is the silliest thing ever and I love her dearly. Masato will always suck and it’s a joy to watch him fail at everything. And call me a sucker for boys fighting over the girl, but whenever I see Rinne and Jumonji get jealous at each other, I enjoy it. Not on levels like Inuyasha and Koga, but good enough here.

So, I would give it a couple of episodes to make your own decision if you want to drop it or continue watching Rinne.

In the meantime, I’m gonna wait patiently for that InuYasha sequel that’s coming out in October. Thank Arceus Rumiko Takahashi gave us something in 2020.

If you want to check out Rin-ne, all three seasons are available on Crunchyro…

Uh-oh! As of this date and time, Rin-ne is removed (along with 76 other titles) from Crunchyroll’s site. Glad I finished before they got rid of it! Just watch it on HI-DIVE.

Now then! That took a good 18 months to get through. Hopefully the next anime is a lot shorter than that one. What’s next on my Sentai block?

Suffering!

Huh? Does that mean Re:Zero? Or Akame ga Kill?

Nope.

Oh, Made in Abyss! But this looks cute and innocent, how could this possibly be…?! Almost had you all fooled! Looks can be deceiving. Yeah, this anime is gonna hurt.

#Kyoukai no Rinne #rinne #sabato rokudou #sakura mamiya #ageha #kain #renge #rinne rokudou #jumonji tsubasa #anime review #obero #suzu #rokumon

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waywardaardvark79 · 5 years

Text

The Tire Swing

Summary: Dean recalls important memories between him and reader.

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: language, angst, character death

Word count: 7,178

It's funny how the sound or sight of something, even something so simple and mundane, can stop you in your tracks, memories flooding you in an instant once you encounter it. For some people it could be a song, others a smell, but for him, well, for him it was a tire swing.

The car was idling at a four way stop, Dean patiently waiting his turn when he spotted it in the yard cross the street hanging from a large Oak tree. He quickly glanced away, trying to focus his attention on anything else, but found himself drawn back to it, unable to look away no matter how hard he tried. That damn tire swing was taunting him, mocking him, and suffocating him with memories that he had desperately tried to lock away into the deep recesses of his mind.

He sucked in a breath, his chest tight, his knuckles white on the wheel, his mouth dry, and his heart skipping beats in his chest. He exhaled a shaky breath, released his grip on the wheel and wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans. The loud honking of a horn and a small voice from the back seat pulled him back to the present. He looked up into the rearview mirror, glancing back at the little girl in the back seat who was looking back at him with your eyes, an impatient look on her face that he had seen on yours countless times.

"Go, Daddy. It's our turn." she said.

"Sorry, sweetheart, you're right." he said as he took one last glance at the tire swing before pulling away.

A few moments later he was on the open highway, desperately trying to distract his mind as he turned the music up. His efforts were fruitless, the tire swing haunting him no matter what he did, so he let go. He let the walls come crumbling down, deciding that it was time to face the past head on. He couldn't out run you anymore.

He couldn't have been more than five or six years old the first time he saw you. He was riding his bike, racing down the sidewalk when he caught sight of you. He slowed himself to a crawl and watched as you got a running start before launching yourself through the middle of a tire swing. You landed on your stomach, your legs kicking wildly behind you as the tire swung back and forth.

He found himself slowing down even further before coming to a complete stop in front of you. He sat on the bike, his feet on the ground on either side of it keeping him upright, and watched as you spun yourself in a circle, winding the rope tighter and tighter in the same direction before pulling your feet off the ground. The tire started to spin wildly out of control in the opposite direction that you were spinning it, your high pitched giggle ringing out across the yard causing him to smile.

The swing started to slow and was now moving gently back and forth, your toes barely scraping the ground helping it along, when you first spotted him.

"Hi." you said.

"H-Hi." he stammered, a little embarrassed that he was caught staring at you.

"I like your bike. I wish mine had a flag like that." you said, still on your stomach in the swing as you pointed to the black and white checked flag waving behind his bike.

"Thanks. I, uh, I like your swing." he said.

You smiled brightly at him, "You wanna try it? It's really fun." you said as you wiggled out of the tire and hit the ground with a thud.

"I don't know. I've never tried a swing like that." he said.

You picked yourself up off the ground, and dusted the dirt from your blue jeans, "Don't worry, it's easy. Come on, I'll show you." you said as you walked towards him with your hand outstretched. Dean hesitated a moment before climbing off of his bike, wheeling it into your yard, and propping it up against the tree.

That was the day that you taught him the fine art of tire swinging, and the day that a simple thing like a tire hanging from a rope became on of the most symbolic things in his life.

Thousands of images of the two of you flashed through his mind before he settled on another memory. He was thirteen years old the first time he kissed you, that stupid swing making yet another appearance in his life.

It was the beginning of summer, and the school was hosting their annual end of school dance. You had planned on going with that total dickwad Brian Thompson, so Dean has asked Amber Miller to go with him so he wouldn't be without a date. He listened for weeks as you went on and on about how Brian was going to ask you any day now, so when he heard that Brian had actually asked Kara Butler to go with him instead of you, he knew you were going to be crushed, and he hated when you were upset.

However, on the other hand he couldn't help but feel relieved by the news. Brian Thompson was a grade A asshole, and he didn't want him anywhere near you. So, after he got home from school he let his feet lead him down that familiar sidewalk, a journey he knew by heart and could make in his sleep.

You were sitting in the tire swing, your posture slumped. Your arms were crossed in front of you on the tire, your head leaning against the side of the rope, your chin propped on one arm as your feet dragged the ground, gently swaying yourself back and forth.

"Need a push?" Dean asked as he walked up behind you.

You turned yourself to face him, your eyes red and puffy from crying, "You don't have to." you whispered out. "Don't you have somewhere to be, anyway?" you asked, sniffling a little before turning yourself to face away from him.

He toed at the dirt with his boot, "No, I'm exactly where I want to be." he said.

You whipped around in the swing and scoffed, "You're here because you feel sorry for me. I went on and on about him asking me for weeks, and he didn't. Now I look like a total idiot." you said, before whipping the swing back around. "You better get going. Amber is gonna be pissed that you're late." you said.

Dean shrugged, even though you couldn't see him, "I'm not going." he said.

"Dean." you breathed out, exhaustion from your seemingly world ending problem weighing you down.

"What? I don't want to go, so I'm not going. Amber found another date, so it doesn't matter." he said as he took a few steps towards you.

"Why did you ask her? I mean, why go through all the trouble of asking her to the dance just to not go in the end?" you asked.

"The person I wanted to go with already had a date, and I didn't want to look like the loser who couldn't get one, so I just asked her." he said.

"God Dean, how many times do I have to tell you to just give up on Cassie. It's never gonna happen, dude." you said, a slightly frustrated tone to your voice.

Dean rolled his eyes at the back of your head, "It wasn't Cassie." he said, not wanting to get on the subject of her with you. You weren't her biggest fan.

You turned slowly in the swing to face him and raised an eyebrow at him, "Jo?" you asked. Dean shook his head no. "Lisa?" you tried again. Dean shaking his head no again, a tight lipped smile on his face. You scrunched up your forehead in thought, "Is it that new guy, Cas? I mean, he's been following you around like a lost puppy." you said.

Dean's eyes nearly bugged out of his head, "What?" he croaked out.

"Did you want to ask Cas to the dance?" you teased, trying your best not to smile and come off completely serious.

Dean ran his hand over his face, "Oh my God, No! It was you, idiot. I wanted to ask you to go." he blurted out, walking towards you until he was standing right in front of you.

"Oh." was all you could manage, completely shocked by his admission, never in a million years thinking that he could ever be interested in you. You were the dorky best friend, not girlfriend material. Then it hit you, he probably only wanted to go with you as a friend.

Dean rubbed the back of his neck, "Yeah, I know. I was trying to work up the nerve to ask, but then you said you were going with Brian, so I just asked Amber so I could go and keep an eye on you." he said.

"Well, Brian is a total jerk. You should have asked me, at least then I wouldn't be crying like an idiot in my front yard while everyone we know is out having fun." you said.

"I was going to, but then you started talking about him and I lost my nerve. Why do you think I was constantly telling you how big of an asshole the guy was? I was trying to get you to change your mind." he said.

"Well, I'm not a mind reader, Dean. You should have just come out and said something." you said before looking up at him, tears pooling in your eyes, "I really thought he was gonna ask me. I-I thought he liked me. Pretty stupid, huh. How could someone like that, like me?" you asked.

"Brian is a total dick. Don't cry over that guy." he said as stepped even closer to you, the tire the only thing separating the two of you.

You placed your feet on either side of his and started to rock yourself back and forth, "So, you were gonna ask me to the dance...like as friend or..." you trailed off not making eye contact with him.

"No, not as a friend...as a, uh, as a date." he stammered out, kicking himself for being so nervous.

You looked up at him, sitting up straight in the tire, one of your hands grasping the rope next to your head, "Really?" you asked, a wide smile on your face.

Dean looked down at you, finally having worked up enough nerve to just go for it, and leaned down until his face was inches from yours, "Really." he whispered before pressing his lips to yours in a sweet kiss. He pulled back from you, scared that he may have crossed a line and took a couple steps back. He looked down at you as you struggled to free yourself from the tire, still never mastering the art of doing it gracefully. Your foot got hung up and you felt yourself start to fall. You managed to hang onto the rope with one hand, Dean coming to your rescue and keeping you from completely hitting the ground by catching you.

He helped you to your feet, your one hand still grasping onto the rope for dear life, using it to keep yourself grounded. Dean's hand came up and wrapped around yours, "Do that again." you whispered, Dean's face lighting up at your request before he leaned down and pressed his lips to yours again.

So, there he was standing under that tree with you, next to the tire swing that you had spent the better part of your shared childhood on, your hands woven together on the rope, the swing cementing it's place in another important moment.

Dean smiled softly to himself at the memory, and he swore that he could almost feel the ghost of your kiss on his lips. He took a deep breath, and wished that he could go back and relive that moment with you. He would give anything to kiss you again. He tried to keep that memory fresh in the front of his mind, but his mind had different plans and was soon rushing forward to another moment.

He was sixteen years old the first time he told you that he loved you. He knew it way before then. Hell, part of him thought he knew it the day you looked up at him and asked him to swing, but he told you, out loud, for the first time that day.

He had just gotten his driver's license, and his dad actually let him borrow the car to take you to a movie. He sat next to you in the theater, his arm wrapped around your shoulders, as he tried to figure out a way to say it. Should he just blurt it out? No, he couldn't do that. It needed to be special. He wanted you to know just how much he really meant it. His mind was racing, and he couldn't tell you one thing that happened in the movie you saw.

He walked hand in hand with you back to the car, and remembered the way you looked over at him, concern written all over your face, "Hey, you ok? You seem a little off." you said.

He smiled over at you, "I'm fine, sweetheart. Just tired." he lied, not wanting to blurt out that he had been racking his brain trying to come up with a decent way to tell you that he loved you.

He opened the door for you and you slid inside. He tried to give himself a pep talk while he walked over to his side of the car, and almost had himself convinced that he was ready to do it until he opened the door and got inside the car. He looked over at you and remembered how sweetly you smiled at him before scooting over in the seat, grabbing his hand and lacing his fingers with yours. The entire drive home he kept telling himself that he would do it any minute now, just look over at you and say it. I mean, it was only three words. How hard could it be? That thought kept running through his mind as he willed himself to say it, but the moment just didn't seem right, so he kept quiet the rest of the drive.

He pulled into the driveway of his parent's house, and you looked over at him with a puzzled look on your face, "I thought I could walk you home." he said, thinking that would provide him with a better opportunity.

"Ok. You sure you're all right?" you asked again, and he wanted to kick himself for acting so weird all night.

He raised your hand to his mouth, and placed a gentle kiss the back of it, "I'm fine. I promise." he said, before releasing your hand and opening the door.

You got out of the car and laced your fingers with his as the two of you walked down the sidewalk to your house. He kept you as close to him as he could, his pace slowing to a crawl the closer you got to your house. You took the lead, and started to pull him towards the door and he knew that he need to stall for more time. The two of you walked by the tire swing, and he said the first thing that popped into his head. "Wanna swing?" he asked.

You stopped and looked over your shoulder at him, "What?" you asked.

"Do you want to swing?" he asked again, praying that you would say yes because he needed more time. He watched as you shrugged your shoulders and walked over to the tire, holding onto the rope as you settled yourself inside. He stepped up behind you, placed his hands on your back and gave you a gentle push. You threw your legs out in front of you and held them up, his second push taking you a little higher. "Y/N, I....uh, I...." he trailed off, not able to finish his sentence.

"I love you too, Dean." you said, facing away from him as you swung through the air.

"What? You, what?" he asked, knowing that he misheard you.

"I love you too." you slowly said, digging your feet into the ground to stop you before spinning around to face him. "I mean, that is what you were trying to say, right?" you asked, hoping you didn't miss the mark.

He looked down at you, shock written all over his face, "How-How did you know that?" he asked.

You shrugged your shoulders, "You've been weird all night, and had your I'm deep in thought and second guessing myself face on, so I figured you were either trying to say that or this was going to be really awkward when you said that you actually wanted to break up. I had a 50/50 shot, guess I was right." you said, a satisfied smirk on your face.

Dean shook his head before looking at you, "I love you." he breathed out.

"There. That wasn't so bad, was it? Say it again." you said.

He smiled down at you, his hand wrapping around the swing to completely still it before leaning in and whispering, "I love you." against your lips.

You raised your hand and brought it to the back of his head, your fingers tangling in the short hair at the back of his neck, "I love you too." you whispered before pressing your lips to his, the tire swing the only thing separating the two of you.

Dean was so caught up in his memories of the two of you that he missed his exit. He looked up into the rearview mirror to see his daughter sleeping soundly in her car seat, and decided to take the long way home. He wasn't ready to go home, and face the empty house. You were still with him in his memories, and he wasn't ready to let go yet, so he drove.

He was eighteen years old when the two of you broke each other's heart , and to this day if he could redo that moment he would give anything he had to do so. The summer after graduation was coming to and end, college looming over the two of you like a dark cloud. You had decided to stay home, and attend the local community college, reasoning that you could learn basically the same thing at a cheaper price, and could use the money you saved to start a life anywhere you wanted. Dean had agreed with you and applied along with you, keeping the other schools he applied to a secret, never guessing that he would get in.

You were tangled up with him on the couch the day his brother Sam walked through the door and tossed a few letters at him. He quickly tried to gather them up before you saw them, the UT Austin return address quickly catching your eye. You sat up, "What's that?" you asked, as you looked down at the letters in his hand.

"Probably just junk mail." he said as he tossed the letters on the coffee table and tried to gather you back into his arms.

You quickly shoved him off and reached for the stack, ripping into the UT Austin envelope as you stood up and walked away from him. He watched as you read over the piece of paper in front of you, "Congratulations. You got in." you said as you tossed the letter to him.

He snatched it from his lap, "Y/N, I'm not going. I just applied out of nowhere. I never expected to get in." he said.

You looked down at the ground, "You should go. Don't let me stop you." you said before you made your way to the door.

"Y/N, wait. Where are you going?" Dean asked as he stood from the couch.

"Home. I'm going home, Dean." you spat before flinging open the door and slamming it behind you.

Dean was chasing after you in a heartbeat. He ran out of the door and across the yard, spotting you down the sidewalk stomping your way home. "Y/N!" he yelled after you, only causing you to increase your pace, the distance between the two of you growing. He broke out into a jog, quickly catching up to you and reaching out to grab your arm, "Y/N, would you just talk to me?" he asked.

You shook loose from his grip, never turning to face him, and continued on your way home. Your house was in your sights, and you had no plans of stopping until you were inside. You walked by the tire swing, reaching out and roughly pushing it to the side in anger, when Dean jumped in front of you blocking your path. "Y/N, please just talk to me." he said, his hands resting on your shoulders.

You stepped back behind the tire swing, using it as a barrier between the two of you, "What do you want me to say, Dean?" you asked.

He stepped towards you, the tire swing the only thing separating you, "Y/N, I'm not going. Like I said I didn't even think I would get in." he said.

The two of you were both hot heads, and often said things in the heat of the moment that you did mean, "I think you should go." you said.

Dean sighed, "I'm not going." he gritted out, trying to keep his patience with you.

"No, Dean, go. I'm not going to be the one that holds you back and keeps you from doing what you want to do. You obviously wouldn't have applied if you didn't want to go, so go. Maybe it's for the best." you said, your fingers digging into the top of the tire.

"For the best? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" he asked, his temper starting to get the better of him.

"I don't want you to stay here and feel like your stuck with me, like I'm trapping you here. So, maybe you should go." you said.

Dean shrugged his shoulders, "Fine. You want me to go so bad I will." he said.

"Fine." you said.

The two of you stood toe to toe, staring at each other, daring the other person to make the first move. Dean looked down at you, his jaw clenched in anger, before huffing out a breath and storming off. You kept your eyes straight ahead, not daring to turn and watch him leave. Your fingers were digging into the top of the tire so hard that you weren't surprised to look down and see the little crescent shapes your nails left behind. You flung the tire to the side and stormed into the house, not once looking back.

He was nineteen years old when he realized what idiots the two of you were, and drove home from Austin with one thing on his mind. He pulled his car up in front of your house, taking notice that your car was missing from the driveway and deciding that he would wait as long as he had to for you to come back.

He was starting to doze off in the front seat, the sun had set long ago, and he wasn't even sure what time it was. He rested his head against the window and closed his eyes, only to be pulled back to reality a few moments later when he heard a knock on the window. He cracked open his eyes, ready to explain that he wasn't a stalker to whoever was going to ask him what he was doing when he saw you. You were standing there, your arms crossed over your chest, staring down at him with an annoyed look on your face, "What are you doing here?" you asked.

Dean cracked open the door, "I just wanna talk." he said before pushing it the rest of the way open and climbing out.

"I have nothing to say to you." you said before turning on your heel and heading towards the front door.

"Y/N! Stop!" Dean barked, causing you to stop in your tracks, your hand reaching out and grabbing onto the rope of the tire swing next to you.

"Why?" you asked, not bothering to turn around to face him.

He closed the gap between the two of you, "I'm sorry. I'm so fuckin' sorry and I never should have left." he said.

You turned to face him, placing the tire between the two of you, and shrugged your shoulders, "I told you to go." you said.

"I know, but I shouldn't have. I never should have left, and everyday that I have been gone the only thing I have wanted to do was come back. I have wanted to come back to you so fuckin' bad." he said, his hand reaching out and grabbing onto the rope.

"I, uh, I came to Austin a few months ago. I had this big plan of trying to win you back because the whole time you have been gone I couldn't help but think if I hadn't of reacted the way I did you wouldn't have left. I was just so scared that you really did want to leave that I didn't listen, and I pushed you away before you could do it to me. I'm sorry." you said.

"You were in Austin? Why didn't you find me?" he asked.

"I did. I came to campus and there you fuckin' were, right across from me. You were sitting with a few different people, and you...you looked happy. You looked really happy, and I didn't want to ruin it, so I left." you said.

Dean shook his head at you, "You are what makes me happy, and I'm sorry that I waited so long to come back. And...now that I'm here, I'm not leaving without you." he said before pulling you from behind the swing. He looked at you, took a deep breath, and dropped to his knee, "Marry me." he blurted out.

You looked down at him, your mouth hanging open in shock, "W-what?" you managed to ask.

"Marry me. Marry me and come back to Texas with me. We can figure everything else out when we get there." he said.

"Dean, I...you...you can't just show up here after not seeing me for a year, and ask me to marry you. I...I have a life here, and school...and a job...and have you lost your fuckin' mind?" you asked.

Dean shook his head, "The only thing I know is that being without you this last year has been the worst year of my life. I know you have a life here, and I know that I can't expect you to drop it all for me, but just..." he trailed off.

"Yes!" you blurted, your hand clamping over your mouth after you said it.

"Yes?" Dean asked. "Yes, you'll marry me or yes, you won't drop everything for me?" he asked.

You looked down at him, your mind screaming at you that this was completely crazy, and you should turn and walk away, but your heart was telling you that the only life you wanted was one with him, "Yes, I'll marry you." you quickly said.

Dean jumped up, his quick movement startling you causing you to take a couple of steps back, and grab onto the rope of the swing to steady yourself. He put his hands on your cheeks, "You'll marry me?" he asked, smiling from ear to ear, the swing present at yet another important moment in his life, one that would change everything.

You nodded your head, "I'm pretty sure that it is completely insane, and that we are going about this in the worst way possible, but yeah, I'll marry you." you said. Dean crushed his lips to yours, and part of you knew right then, that as crazy as it seemed, it was the right thing to do. So, that's what you did. You packed up and moved to Austin with him without blinking an eye, and three years later you walked down the aisle, Dean waiting at the end for you, a huge smile on his face, and you knew that you had made the right decision.

He was 23 years old when he drove nearly eleven hours from your home in Austin back to Lawrence, Kansas. The two of you had been married a year, and there was only one thing he could think of to get you for your anniversary. He had already talked to your parents, and it was waiting for him when he pulled up. He thanked them before hauling that damn tire up onto his shoulder and loading it into the trunk.

He had managed to beat you home, and hang the swing from the large tree in your front yard. He stood back and looked at the swing before pulling out his phone and calling you, "Hey, you gonna be home soon?" he asked before you even said a word.

You chuckled, "Happy Anniversary to you too. Yeah, I should be there in about fifteen minutes. I got a surprise for you." you sang out.

"Right back at ya, sweetheart. I'll see you soon." he said.

"See you soon." you said before hanging up the phone.

Dean was waiting in the driveway for you when you pulled up. He rushed to your door and opened it, "Close your eyes." he said.

"Can I at least get out?" you asked.

"Nope. Now close them." he said. You did as he asked and felt him grab your hand as he helped you from the car and closed the door behind you.

"My purse. Grab my purse." you quickly said, your eyes closed tight. You heard him open the door and quickly close it again, the strap of your purse soon landing in your outstretched hand. You hoisted it up on your shoulder, "Ok, I'm ready." you said, as he started to guide you forward.

You came to a stop, "Open your eyes." he said.

You blinked them open, your eyes quickly adjusting to the sunlight when you saw it hanging from the tree. You ran over to it, your hand running across the top of the tire before turning back to him, "This isn't..." you trailed off.

Dean nodded his head, "That's it." he proudly said.

Your hand flew to your mouth as you looked at him in astonishment, "You drove all the way back home to get this?" you asked, tears beginning to pool in your eyes.

"Happy Anniversary, Sweetheart." he said before walking over to you. "Besides, I figured we might need it one day, you know, kids love these things." he said, a smile on his face that he had managed to surprise you.

You slowly nodded your head, "Yeah, they do, and we might end up needing it sooner than you think." you said as you reached into your purse and pulled out a white envelope. You handed it over to him, "Happy Anniversary." you said.

Dean looked down at the envelope in his hand for a moment before slowly opening it, his eyes glued to yours. You nodded your head towards his hands and he looked down at what he was holding. A grainy black and gray image stared back at him, and he felt himself stumble backward a few steps, "Is this a...are you...I'm gonna be a dad?" he asked. You smiled, and nodded your head. He quickly scooped you up into his arms and started to spin you in circles. "I'm gonna be a dad!" he excitedly yelled out. He quickly came to a stop and placed you back onto your feet, his hand flying to your stomach, "I'm gonna be a dad." he quietly said.

"You are." you said, smiling up at him, your hand coming to rest over his. "Happy Anniversary." you said.

Dean pressed his lips to yours, "Happy Anniversary." he said.

Eight and a half months later he was attempting to rush you across the yard to the car, your water had broken a few minutes ago, and the two of you were in a panic. "The bag." you rasped out when you were halfway across the lawn.

"The what?" Dean asked.

"The bag. You forgot the bag." you said, as you squeezed his hand. Dean looked back at the house, and then over to you, "Go. I'll wait right here." you said, as you reached out and grasped the rope of the tire swing. Dean looked at you one more time, "Go." you said, another contraction ripping through you, causing you to hold onto the rope for dear life. Dean nodded his head, and quickly ran back inside.

He returned a few moments later, the bag hanging from his shoulder, as he quickly made his way to you. He pried your fingers from the rope, "Come on, Sweetheart." he said as he led you to the car.

The ride to the hospital seemed to last forever. Dean kept looking over at you with worry as you groaned and panted in the passenger seat, "I'm never having sex with you again. Oh God, this is all your fault." you gritted out.

"I know. I know, Sweetheart, but we're almost there, just a few more minutes." Dean said.

"A few more minutes for you maybe. I still have to push this thing out of me." you said between pants.

"She'll be worth it in the end." Dean said, as he pulled up in front of the hospital and jumped out of the car, quickly running inside to get help. The nurse helped you from the car into a wheelchair, and ushered you inside.

You were changing into a hospital gown when Dean walked into the room. You glared at him over your shoulder as another contraction hit, "I...hate...you so much...right now." you breathed out.

Dean rushed to your side, and helped you into bed, "You can hate me all you want, whatever you want." he said as he brushed a few strands of hair away from your sweaty forehead.

You grabbed his hand, "I don't hate you, this just really fuckin' hurts." you said.

Dean raised your hand to his lips and placed a kiss to the back of it, "I know, Sweetheart, but you're doing good. You're doing so good. I love you so much." he praised.

He stayed with you the entire time, whispering encouragement as you pushed your daughter into the world. Your head fell back against the bed after your final push, her cries alerting you that she had arrived, "Is she ok?" you panted out. "Dean, go check on her. Tell me that she's ok." you said, as you pulled your hand from his and urged him to leave your side.

Dean walked up to the nurse and looked down at his newborn daughter in complete awe. "She's perfect." he finally managed to say. "Absolutely perfect." he mumbled to himself before turning to look at you. He expected to see you eagerly awaiting his assessment, but your head was turned to the side, your eyes fluttering closed. "What's going on? What's happening?" he asked as he tried to get back to your side.

The nurse stepped in front of him, "Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave the room." she said as she placed her hand against his chest and tried to push him backward.

"I'm not fuckin' leavin', that's my wife. What the fuck is going on? Y/N! Y/N!" he cried out.

"Sir, I need you to leave. There has been a complication, and you have to go." she said, forcing him out of the room.

Dean stumbled into the hall, his back hitting the wall before he slowly slid down to the floor. He watched as the door flew open a few minutes later and you were rushed from the room, nurses on each side as they rushed you down the hall. Dean jumped to his feet, "Hey, can somebody tell me what's going on?" he begged.

The doctor ran from the room, "Mr. Winchester, there has been a complication. We'll do everything we can." she said before running off down the hall.

Dean ran his hands through his hair, in complete shock. He didn't know what to do. He stumbled back against the wall and slid to the floor, his elbows propped on his knees, his face buried in his hands, and he did the only thing he could think of, he prayed. He prayed to everything he could think of. He needed you to be ok. He just needed you to be ok. He didn't know how long he sat there, before he heard footsteps approaching. He raised his head to see the doctor walking towards him, and jumped to his feet, "Is she ok? Can I go see her? Please, just let me go see her. I need to see her." he rambled out.

The doctor came to a stop in front of him, "I need you to come with me." she solemnly said.

Dean shook his head, "You're taking me to see her right? I need to see her." he said.

"Mr. Winchester, if you would please follow me." she got out before Dean interrupted.

"No, not unless I get to see her. S-she's ok. She's ok, and I need to see her." he said, his voice cracking.

"Please, just follow me." the doctor said, as she gently grabbed his arm and led him down the hall. She stopped in front of a door and led him into a small room, the hospital chaplain waiting at the table.

Dean tried to back out of the room, "No. No. This isn't happening. She's fine." he said. He turned to the doctor. "She's fine. I need you to tell me she's fine." he pleaded.

"Please have a seat." she said, as she ushered him to a chair, and pulled it out for him.

Dean sat down at the table, and the doctor sat across from him. She started to explain everything that happened, but Dean was in a fog, only hearing a few words here and there. She said something about uterine atony and how you started to hemorrhage. He heard her say that they did everything they could, and that it was a very rare outcome, occurring in less than one percent of cases in the United States. He sat there and listened to her and the chaplain both tell them how incredibly sorry they were for his loss, before they left him alone in the room.

Two days later he left the hospital with your newborn daughter, alone. He drove to the home he shared with you, his mother's car waiting in the drive when he pulled up. He shut off the engine and looked out across the yard, his attention immediately settling on the tire swing, and in that moment, so full of hurt and anger he had never hated anything more. That damn swing was staring back at him, the last thing you had touched before you left home, a constant reminder that you were gone, and he swore in that moment that he would never look at that thing again.

He carried your daughter inside, his mother quickly stepping in and taking her from him. He looked out the window at the swing, before quickly rushing into the garage. He grabbed everything he needed to cut the swing from the tree before dragging it all to the front yard. He made quick work of getting it down, and carried it back into the garage, tossing it into the far corner before draping a tarp over it. He put away the ladder and the tools he used, vowing that he would get rid of it when he had the time, but no matter how bad he wanted to get rid of it, the time never seemed to come.

He was 30 years old when he pulled into the driveway of the home he used to share with you. He got out of the car, and carried your sleeping daughter inside, and tucked her into bed. He walked aimlessly around the house before somehow finding himself in the garage, standing in the far corner, looking down at an aged, blue tarp. He tore the tarp aside, and looked down at the swing. He didn't know how long he stood there, every memory he had of you replaying in his mind as he stared at it. He ran his hand over his face, and he knew what he had to do.

He had just finished doing the breakfast dishes when he turned to your daughter, "Hey, Sweetheart, let's go outside. I have a surprise for you." he said as he wiped his hands on the dish towel.

"A surprise!? What is it? What is it?" she asked as she excitedly jumped up and down.

Dean scooped her up into his arms, "Let's go see." he said.

He carried her outside, across the lawn to the large tree in the front yard. "Wanna swing?" he asked.

She looked up at him, "I've never seen a swing like that." she said as Dean placed her on the ground and took her hand.

"Don't worry, it's easy. Come on, I'll show you." he said as he led her to the tire swing.

He was 30 years old the day he taught your daughter the fine art of tire swinging. He watched as she took a running start and launched herself through the middle of the tire, landing on her stomach, her legs kicking wildly behind her as she swayed back and forth. He taught her how to spin it in a circle, and stood back when she raised her feet off the ground, the tire spinning wildly in the opposite direction as her high pitched giggle rang out across the yard. He watched as she wiggled herself from the tire, landing with an ungraceful thud on the ground before popping back up. "That was fun." she said, as she started the entire process over again.

He watched with a sad smile on his face, she was your double in every way possible, and as she launched herself through the middle of the tire again, he couldn't help but go back to the first time he saw you, the day you taught him the fine art of tire swinging. He watched your daughter, a smile on his face, and he knew that you would be so proud of both of them.

It's funny how the sound or sight of something, even something so simple and mundane can stop you in your tracks, memories hitting you in an instant the moment you encounter it. For some people it could be a song, for others a smell, but for him...for him it would always be a tire swing.

#supernatural fic #supernatural one shot #dean winchester #dean x reader #supernatural #supernatural au #supernatural reader insert #supernatural fanfiction #dean x you #reader insert #dean #spn fic #spn #spn one shot #angst

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theseerasures · 4 years

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Conspicuous Media Consumption, 2019

i mean, everyone's doing these write-ups, right? might as well hop onto the bandwagon

towards the end of last year i had one of my typical existential crises about my media consumption: am i slowly disappearing up my own ass because i no longer care about most of the pop culture people like to discuss ad nauseam? but on the other hand, isn’t it more responsible to find the niche items made by non-mainstream and marginalized creators? on the third hand, wouldn’t i be much happier if i just watched FMA Brotherhood over and over again, preferably while starting a new Mass Effect playthrough at the same time?

the answer to all these questions is probably “yes,” but i decided to try something different going into 2019. for every week of the year, i would try to get through a year’s worth of content for some kind of media, be it comics, video games, TV, etc--they didn’t all have to be recent, or even new to me, but once i was done with that week i’d be done, even if i didn’t finish the content, and i’d make a judgement based what i’d seen on whether i want to continue. mostly, i was trying to avoid what happened to me with video games in 2018, when i was hating every second of playing Uncharted but still felt obligated to finish because everyone and their houseplant liked Uncharted or listlessly doing the Master Hunter achievement in RDR2 because the main quest made me miserable.

the actual outcomes of this Project(tm) are a little more complicated than anticipated--some media i could finish in a day, while trying to play through ALL THE CONTENT OF AN MMO understandably took much longer than a week--but it all kind of evened out. in the end i did 48 weeks of this, and used December as my catch-ups month to follow up on some things i didn’t get to finish. i thought i’d give my thoughts on each of the things i consumed this year as part of this project below in a concise manner--and yes, i know the people who’ve read even one (1) thing i’ve written are probably laughing right now, particularly given how long i took in this introduction just to get to me point, but i really am going to try!! it’s all an exercise in shameless self-indulgence, basically, but hey: if any of you want to chat at length about any of this stuff below, hit me up.

(quick note: you’ll only find media that i chose for this particular project below, so things i watched socially with friends--like certain film properties slorping me back into Disney’s gelatinous monolith--are not included)

Devilman Crybaby (anime, finished 1/5/2019): honestly i should have twigged onto what the year was going to be like when the first thing i drew from the metaphorical barrel was demon tiddies and apocalyptic existentialism. i was determined to dislike it for most of the year due to fundamentally disagreeing with its main thematic thrust, but i kept THINKING about it even months after. at this point i’ve kinda mellowed out. it’s definitely not a must love, but there’s enough queer metaphor and philosophical richness in it to make it worth checking out.

Attack on Titan (manga, 3 volumes finished 1/12/2019): this is the second time i’ve tried to get into this franchise and...yeah, no. i still don’t see the appeal. the fascistic overtones juxtaposed with absolutely no one having a sense of humor wigs me out to no end.

Young Justice (TV, 2.5 seasons finished 1/31/2019): honestly, what even is there to say? they’re my kids. they’re back and grown up and making even more terrible decisions. i screamed when i saw Babs in her wheelchair.

Black Leopard, Red Wolf (book, finished 2/10/2019): i tried VERY HARD to like this book, given how much i liked Brief History of Seven Killings, but it just...didn’t click for me. which honestly is fine, since i don’t think it was made for me either.

Dragon Age (3 games, finished 2/28/2019): i feel like there’s always a part of me that’s going to think of this series as “the other one,” but y’know. it’s good. it’s my second playthrough (as a mage for all three) and it’s good! i even went around killing all the dragons in Inquisition because Knight Enchanter was a blast. appreciate the higher queer content vis-a-vis Mass Effect, even though i couldn’t care less about any of the plot. Dragon Age II is the best one, do not @ me

Bitter Root (comic, 4 issues finished 3/1/2019): i love intergenerational dramas and i love stories about vampire slayers, so this was aces. my only complaint is the pacing was a little slow for a story that was going on hiatus after five issues.

Pearl (comic, 6 issues finished 3/3/2019): i know that he’s done great things and grudgingly admit that he’s probably a net positive in the industry but Brian Michael Bendis can suck my entire dick

Lazarus (comic, 5 trades finished 3/ 4/2019): i really thought this was going to clench the position for comic of the year. it’s Rucka doing Highly Relevant Dystopia! it’s a corporate Lannisters AU! it’s a highly personal story about a woman with high privilege and little agency! what more could you want

Immortal Hulk (comic, 2 trades finished 3/ 4/2019): i vibed with the horror feel, but i don’t honestly think it’s THAT exceptional. being set in 616-verse means there was still ton of baggage i didn’t know or care about, since i’ve now swung more to the DC side of things

thank u, next (album, finished 3/5/2019): didn’t Ariana Grande get canceled this year for some reason? oh well, i liked her album

When I Get Home (album, finished 3/13/2019): i vividly remember listening to this for the first time and feeling vaguely disappointed that it wasn’t more like Seat at the Table until i realized that i was covered in goosebumps. still don’t understand the magic but it is Good

The Bird King (book, finished 3/23/2019): pretty much everything you’d expect from a G. Willow Wilson book--spirituality, the female lead finding Themselves and the Answer and learning they’re the same thing, etc etc. i’m slightly resentful that her Wonder Woman was so lackluster while this was so good, but whatevs

Psychodrama (album, finished 3/29/2019): possibly my favorite album of the year? dense and emotionally raw in a way i really appreciate. Dave has a Mercury and he’s younger than me

Mass Effect (4 games, finished 4/7/2019): wow guys did you know that Mass Effect is good! it is. all of it is actually, even the Mass Effect 3 ending, another controversial finale to a big franchise that i will obstinately defend. even Andromeda, which isn’t AS good as the trilogy but still has a lot of heart. all its bugs have been exhaustively patched since launch anyway

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (TV, 4 seasons finished 5/13/2019): i’m...still kind of mad about this finale, but can’t exactly deny that this show is one of the best things to ever happen to me, or television probably. i didn’t even mind new!Greg that much! tho he was probably the nail on the coffin of me jumping onto the Nathaniel train.

Knights of the Old Republic/The Old Republic (3 games, finished 7/4/2019): did you guys know that KOTOR II was my first ever video game? i feel like that...explains a lot about me. anyway, the first game is a classic and the second is a deconstructive classic and playing either of them is basically a fun way for me to turn off my brain these days. even the MMO wasn’t as much of slog as i worried it would be. the Imperial Agent storyline had some nice surprises and i dig the general atmosphere of ruthless pragmatism and crushing loneliness.

Wanderers (book, finished 7/13/2019): Chuck Wendig is a very well-intentioned man in dire need of a strict editor. still good tho! some VERY punchy emotional bits and an ending that still leaves me with vague existential terror.

Code Geass (anime, 2 seasons finished 7/20/2019): i feel like this is on the polar opposite of the spectrum as Devilman Crybaby, because i don’t think Geass is GOOD on like, any basis, and i actually find its central moral message kind of abhorrent? but some part of my lizard brain LOVED the High Imperial Family Drama (it’s been a good year for me and Lannister types, hasn’t it? well, with the obvious exception of--never mind), so...yeah. have i discovered the true meaning of guilty pleasure

The Farewell (movie, finished 7/23/2019): how could i not a) watch this and b) love this and c) feel emotionally cold towards this at the same time because the situations depicted were so similar to mine that i ended up feeling kind of alienated

The Nickel Boys (book, finished 8/8/2019): i STILL haven’t read Underground Railroad, but here i am a book late and a dollar short to appreciate Whitehead’s new book. the man’s stylistic versatility is jaw-dropping and i appreciate the plotting in contrast to like, 90% of the litfic out there that’s just “protagonist sad in different milieu”

Durarara (anime, 2 seasons finished 8/31/2019): it’s fucking bonkers and i loved pretty much every second of it? even the second season, where i finally got the BruceNat AU i deserved??? the first anime i’ve seen where everyone was relatively soberly dressed. the answer was love and having feelings and asking your middle school best friend to hurl you like a projectile so you can chop your girlfriend’s head off with a demon katana

Lover (album, finished 9/1/2019): i feel like with all the Discourse surrounding Taylor Swift re: she’s the devil incarnate or re: she’s good, actually the fact that she makes fucking bops gets kind of lost in the conversation. i have no vested interest in her as a person but i liked Lover, even though London Boy was “what if Style but stupid”

Are You Listening (comic, finished 10/2/2019): my actual choice for best comic of the year if i were giving out awards like that. it’s coming of age! it’s grief! it’s queers! it’s trauma! it’s magical realism! it’s cats! it’s expressive gorgeous art! Tillie Walden has an Eisner and she’s younger than me

High School DxD (manga, 2 volumes finished 10/10/2019): i don’t even know how to talk about this series?? i actually kind of came around to the whole “main character is a perv but goes hard for consent” by the end of the second volume, but it’s still...bad. i only can have lingering conflicted feelings about one Japanese adaptation of Christian mythology per year

Ghosteen (album, finished 10/18/2019): much like Immortal Hulk i thought it was fine but over-hyped. it’s Nick Cave doing his Nick Cave ethereal music thing. i still can’t tell what any of the lyrics mean, except Jesus is there sometimes

Watchmen (TV, 2 episodes finished 10/29/2019): i am nOT FUCKING CAUGHT UP so please watch out for spoilers. it is on my high priority list of things to be caught up on tho--i appreciate that the plot is blatantly unsubtle but still manages to give me aneurysms and i appreciate the political overtones just kinda...balances on a razor thin wire and also gives me aneurysms. i wanna say i have no expectations and would be fine if it does a full dive into the horrible bland depths of the both-sides porridge, but i’m sadly a fool who wants to believe in Damon Lindelof

Syllabus/Making Comics (2 comics, finished 12/24/2019): it’s funny--even before Making Comics came out i was like “man i miss Lynda Barry” and then BAM. it’s incredible how her work just makes me feel taken care of, even when we’re wrestling with tough topics or she’s demanding that i draw a Batman in 30 seconds. kudos for immediately shooting to the top of my gift list for my sister also

Allegiance/Choices of One (2 books, finished 12/24/2019): fun and largely inoffensive, but i was honestly hoping for more. the level of Empire apologia going on was too much for me, someone who thinks Mara Jade is the best Star Wars character of all time (still?????? still). it reeked a little of Zahn believing his own hype as the only valid guy in Star Wars Legends of whatever

Aldnoah.Zero (anime, 1 season finished 12/24/2019): turns out i also can only have “trash but my trash” feelings about one Japanese mecha show with higher art pretensions and patriotism verging into jingoism per year, and this one ain’t it. it’s not as good as Code Geass and Code Geass ISN’T GOOD. at least Geass attempted character complexity and moved at enough of a breakneck pace to distract me from its questionable bits. Aldnoah is just...bland, and nothing gets accomplished or revealed in 12 episodes, except the baffling and contradictory motivations of the main bad guy.

Baldur’s Gate (game, unfinished): yet again something i really wanted to like, given *gestures at all the BioWare above*. i think it’s mainly the Seinfeld issue, where it actually predates my own experience with video games and was so formative for the Western RPG genre that what was innovative just comes across as kind of staid now. i didn’t DISLIKE it, and will probably play the sequel since it’s supposed to be more character-driven, but by the time i finished the vanilla campaign i just didn’t have it in me to squint at more tiny avatars on the screen, so the expansions ended up a no-go.

most prominent thing i noticed about this list is that only one 2019 movie made it on the list and ZERO 2019 video games did so. the former i’m okay with because i currently live with two film people with whom i’m happy to tag along to the cinema. the latter bums me out a little more, because there WERE a few things i wanted to play this year, but all of them came out just as my semester was reaching its catastrophic boil, so i had no time. maybe i’ll use my free time after the New Year festivities to catch up on those.

to conclude: this worked out pretty well! i ended up finishing all but one of the things, and only a few were bad enough that i have no interest in seeking out more content. i’ll probably do this again in 2020--we’ll see if the scheduling can withstand a full year of grad school hell

#let's break out a new tag for this since this isn't really meta #conspicuous media consumption

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