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ihavenocluedude · 2 years

Note

Hello! What about fez with an asexual reader? Thank you!

Things He Could Do

Gender neutral + asexual!reader x Fezco

Link to masterlist Link to Fezco masterlist Link to Ao3

A/N - The first request I've finished! Yay! The request wasn't all that specified and I didn't want to do headcanons so I just tried to make this as well as I could. I did get a few of my mutuals to read through it bc I was overthinking it af lol (thank you guys!!). But I hope you're satisfied with the result!!

Word count - 1 243

With Fez there wasn’t ever any concerns, it could feel like you were the only two in the room even if you were at a party absolutely filled with people. There was just always this intimacy with him.

From the very first moment you met him to every time you’ve seen him since. Even before you knew you were romantically attracted to him you just felt secure around him. As if the way his eyes focused on you actually protected you.

You’d come out to him on your first date, very anxious and overthinking every little thing. You’d figured from the start that Fezco would be okay with it, he’d always been there with open arms for you, ever since you first got to know him. Listening to every little rant you had stuck in your head.

Fezco, however, wasn’t used to being able to rant to others or being anything but the one listening intently to another person. But you always offered, so after a while, he started having someone he could spill out his mind’s content to as well. But even with all of that, you had never really told him until that very first official date.

You had been trying to come out to him for a while. It just never felt right, until the moment where it was just the two of you in his car talking and you’d suddenly blurted it out. Typically if you came out, your sexuality would just slip out during conversation if it ever even came up at all. It had never seemed to be a big thing that needed ‘proper’ announcing. It’s simply none of their fucking business.

Some people thought coming out needed a small celebration, a ‘yay!’ popping out of their mouths. Some thought it craved an additional hug with that ’yay’, that sort of awkward thing when you yourself is trying not to make it a big deal but they clearly don’t get it. And some, finally just some show you that they’ve heard you and accept you as you are before moving on with the conversation. No big deal, no celebration needed. The kind of reaction you’d crave after some years of coming out to the heteronormative sexualized society you live in.

It wasn’t that the small celebrations weren’t nice. But someone celebrating the fact that you simply don’t feel sexual attraction like everyone else and exist as a human being anyway… It feels sort of exaggerated after a while.

You had assumed and expected that Fez was one of those people who’d simply show you that they’d heard you, accept you and move on with the conversation. But at the same time, your brain was preparing for heartbreak. Coming out to someone that you have a romantic attraction to was not as easy as coming out to friends.

You had also expected the small silence that would come after you blurted out about your sexuality. Fez is and always has been a quiet creature. So a quiet moment after you’ve just come out, not weird at all. But still quite pressuring and terrifying if you’re that someone that came out.

“What does it mean?” He asked after a while, his tone very soft but not shy to show you that he wasn’t hesitating about asking it. He was sure in his tone but curious.

So that night, sitting in his car with his hand in yours, you told him about what your asexuality meant to you. Although there are a lot of general definitions out there on the world wide web, sexuality is personal, almost tailor-made in a way.

When you’d finished your explanation, Fez nodded along with slightly furrowed brows, showing you that he was listening as intently as he always did. And whilst you almost expected him to just move on with the conversation, changing the subject or just simply going off of where you’d been, he instead started asking other questions. Asked what you were comfortable with; if he could kiss you, if he could be close to you. The coming out conversation basically became a defining relationship moment, discussing boundaries and comfort zones. At the end of the night, you became an official couple.

Although you’d sometimes bring up the sex situation just to talk about it, you didn’t talk about it all that often. You both made sure to feed into the intimacy, wanting to feel as close to each other as possible. It wasn’t anything that was discussed but rather shown. Cuddling and trying to spend as much time together alone as possible. Although many claim that sex is one of the main ways to feel closer to someone, it has never and will never be the only way to feel intimate with someone.

For you and Fezco it is mainly spending a lot of time together. Watching movies, talking whenever wherever or simply enjoying the silence that could exist comfortably between you, with the love you felt for each other surrounding both of you even in the silence. Almost like an indoor snowstorm covering the two of you but more comfortable and not in the least bit less magical.

Fezco showed his love through several actions. Sometimes he’d sing you to sleep, sometimes he’d just hum instead but in general, he just loved the idea of being able to calm you with his voice and his presence. Nights spent with the two of you on facetime, not hanging up even when you got so tired you couldn’t keep your eyes open anymore. Waking up in the morning to still see him there, his light snores and just slightly open mouth.

There were some especially special moments that you just knew that Fezco was the right person for you. You’d driven around most of the day together, enjoying the music you picked on the aux whilst he talked a bit and sung along to the songs. Swaying to the beat of the music together. And then he looked at you.

It was as if your eyes were brand new for a few seconds. The way the light hit him and showed his profile so beautifully. The way he smiled at you and showed off that little gap between his two front teeth that you loved. As if you’d never seen the colors of his eyes like this before, the way his lashes were so unbelievably beautifully long or as if it was the first time you saw the ginger tones in his hair and his beard. Feeling like it was meant to be, like the moments like that one was meant to be and couldn’t have been any other way.

And you were so happy that it wasn’t. So you took those moments to appreciate him. His silly smile and the things he only did around you or Ash. The things he could do when he felt truly comfortable.

It almost felt like another love language when he showed his more private side. The one that could sing and not feel shy about it. The one that could rant about his day and his thoughts without even sparing a single sentence to his job. Talking about his old favourite movies or just describing them, hoping you knew them and could help him figure out what it was called since he had forgotten.

He was just so much more him when you two were alone. And that was all either of you needed.

#fezco fluff #fezco euphoria #fezco x reader #fez x reader #fezco fic #fezco x you #fezco #fezco one shot #euphoria fez #my writing #euphoria fanfiction #euphoria stuff #euphoria fanfic #euphoria #asexual!reader #asexual!relationship #asexual fanfiction

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pop-punklouis · 3 years

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hiii!! do you have a lyric analysis of fearless?

i do not! (i don’t think rip) but as my sleeping pill kicks in i’ll happily run down my own bumbling thoughts and analysis of the song. tbh, Fearless has always felt like a two-way mirror perspective song (if that makes sense?). on one hand, the surface level theme is chasing youth and the expectation of adulthood versus it’s reality as you grow up and see it in the faces of all your friends. the conversation is directed towards someone he knows. but, on the other hand, i think that mirror reflects inward and touches on the conflicting mirage of who he is and who he refracts— the inner ego and psyche-soma. for this analysis, i’ll be focusing on the latter!

“Cash in your weekend treasures for a suit and tie– a second wife. Now, I'm not saying that you could have done better. Just remember that I, I've seen that fire alight.”

i like that he starts the song with these verses. if we’re to look at it from this inward perspective, i would like to think the conversation is being addressed to the physical embodiment of Fear. i like to think of Fear as a very loose Lacan’s mirror sometimes— seeing oneself in the mirror for the first time and having a false recognition. the modern nostalgia of growing up, the ever-changing emotions of youth becoming societal roles you’re molded into that look different than who you are. But, instead of this just being general fear it’s an identifying Fear. the fearful future of becoming that. if we were to take sexuality into account, this could be a conversation held about the fear of playing a role— dressing up as himself to live in his own shadow. Not the fear of his sexuality or coming out or being proud of who he is, but the false reality that Fear has constructed just to coil around him from being suppressed by our heteronormative society. the alternate reality. the intrusive thoughts. the adversity. that’s why i think the verse “second wife” feels prominent here in an album that is gender neutral. but the upturned encouragement of “remember, i’ve seen that fire alight” at the end of these verses feels sweeter when looked at through the lens of him speaking with Fear.

“Tell me do you still remember feeling young?”

i’ve always interpreted this line as the literary symbolism of “young” which is: the process of growth, hopefulness, being fresh, blossoming wild. Louis is coaxing his Fear to come closer to him— to remember these feverish moments and passions of his identity and self-expression. to let go of the universe Fear has cultivated. to remember Fear’s world isn’t reality.

“Tell me the truth. Tell me do you still remember feeling young. Strong enough to get it wrong in front of all these people?Just for tonight, look inside, and spark that memory of you… Strong enough to get it wrong in front of all these people.”

One of my favorite lines from his entire album is featured here “strong enough to get it wrong in front of all these people.” the power and bravery that breathes through those words always punches me straight in the gut. but, following the ongoing narrative of Fear/Insecurity, that line is a lifeline for this inner conversation between Louis and himself. He’s directly asking Fear… Anxiety… for the one thing that is the most vulnerable and terrifying in their makeup: Trust. the trust to let go and be without worry or judgement from anyone around you. to trust in yourself and who you are— to stand up and simply BE regardless of what you look like to the rest of the world… to the rest of society…. to the rest of the cogs and structural codes. he’s asking them to harness that bravery and strength from deep within and trust him through the process and feel his familiarity.

“Now, if happiness is always measured by the life you design— that car in the drive. Then you should feel better than ever, but you know as well as I. It's all lies.”

This entire verse just screams construction— fabrication. the idea of a perfect world and a perfect happiness designed by those who tell you what that’s meant to look like or be. Louis is combatting that ideology here. in fact, this verse masquerades like the assembly of control. inner conflict of Fear can be a need to control and plan and fix and organize this security and image. Control can become the habit of your life, but control isn’t real and that’s what Fear struggles with. Louis dismisses the need for Fear to think it has this control— addressing the fact that Fear might feel in control but it most certainly isn’t happy. it’s all a mirage. it’s all lies. hes deconstructing Fear.

“Fearless, Fearless. Fearless, Fearless.”

I decided to end the analysis with this line because it really is the peak to the building narrative— it’s also repeated many times throughout the track in a somber yet anthemic tone. I firmly believe this is where Louis looks straight in the mirror, coming face to face with Fear in the reflection and beckons the encouragement of fearlessness. He’s asking Fear to be fearless with him. to stand as one with him instead of beside him. to interlace it’s hand with his. to boldly and unequivocally trust him and who he is.

all in all, it probably is wayyy less deep than that lmao. but i would like to think of fearless being a conversation held between himself and the physical manifestation of intrusive thoughts like Fear or Anxiety that can ultimately construct entire alternate realities about the future or just complete unknowns. i believe Fearless is taking that passing blip of Fear by the hand and encouraging strength and bravery in the face of all that uncertainty through trusting Louis and who he is. and i love the song very much a lot.

#fearless analysis #wow this took me way longer than i expected lmao #just want to reiterate again that i like to think of fearless as an abstract convo between him and emotions like Fear that can become very #real and take on very real roles in our head #and it definitely is not about him being fearful of his sexuality or who he is or any shit like that #anyways!!!!

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lawisnotmocked · 3 years

Text

Queer Readings of Les Mis - Javert

Queer readings of classic literature are one of my favourite things and I’ve seen some great queer readings of Enjolras and Grantaire, and a few queer readings of Eponine and Valjean too but one queer reading that I don’t see much is of Javert, so I thought I’d do a queer reading of Javert with you guys today! This includes ace Javert, repressed gay Javert, and my ‘Javert realises he’s in love with Valjean before he dies but Valjean never realises or reciprocates his feelings’ reading so yeah be prepared for that! :’D

I feel like I should probably define what a queer reading actually is before I start because it’s a term used a lot in academia that some people might not have come across before! Queer readings are about challenging heteronormativity in texts and exploring ways in which a text can be interpreted as queer. While some queer readings of texts can focus on what the author’s potential intentions may have been, this isn’t a necessity. If you’re a younger queer person I just want to let you know that you’re allowed to want to see yourself in history and in literature, you have a right to assert your existence and you shouldn’t let anyone make you feel bad or silly for that uwu <3

Our first question is ‘is there any evidence in the brick that Javert is cishet?’ And the answer to that is there’s honestly no evidence at all to suggest that Javert is heterosexual.

In the brick we’re told that Javert isn’t really interested in anything outside of his work, including sexual and romantic relationships. The text actually suggests he’s never been in a relationship before and doesn’t desire one either - ‘And, withal, a life of privation, isolation, abnegation, chastity, with never a diversion.’ ‘As we have said, he had no vices. When he was pleased with himself, he permitted himself a pinch of snuff. Therein lay his connection with humanity.’ (1.5.5) In summary, Javert doesn’t fuck uwu Javert doesn’t have any friends either which is kinda sad someone form a human connection with this man :’3

With this evidence, one queer reading of Javert in the brick is that he’s aromantic and asexual, or somewhere on the aroace spectrum. Javert seems to have a total lack of interest in any kind of intimate relationship, and it’s entirely possible that he doesn’t experience attraction towards anyone.

Another queer reading we can take from Javert’s disinterest in relationships is that he’s attracted to men and represses all of his romantic and/or sexual feelings. Javert is really good at not thinking too hard about stuff, especially anything complicated like his own sexuality - thought was something to which he was unused, and which was peculiarly painful. (5.4.1) It’s the coping mechanism he uses to be able to maintain his black and white worldview, and it would make sense that that would extend into other areas of his personal life too.

Javert was raised in a very heteronormative society and is very respectful of authority and social norms. He’s religious just because that’s what’s socially expected of him, not because he’s thought particularly hard about his relationship with God. In his eyes, of course, the ecclesiastical authority was the chief of all; he was religious, superficial and correct on this point as on all others. (1.8.5) He knows he’s not interested in relationships with women, but he might not have even considered that being attracted to men was an alternative. Sure maybe he’s thought men were handsome before, but he literally doesn’t have the ability to reflect on what those feelings might mean for him and his sexuality. If you asked brick Javert what his sexuality was he’d probably say he was heterosexual, despite never actually experiencing sexual attraction towards women, because that’s the social default and he’s never bothered to question whether or not he might fit that default.

Alternatively, he might be aware that he is attracted to men, but that’s not a socially acceptable thing for him to feel so he just represses it along with all the other thoughts and feelings he has that question authority and the workings of society.

Revolutionary France decriminalized homosexuality in 1791, so this would be less of a legal issue for Javert than a social issue, since I’m assuming there was still a lot of social stigma surrounding being queer. I’m a queer historian but my period is medieval Europe not revolutionary France so if anyone has anything to add here please do ^^’

This wouldn’t be a Sirius Brand Meta Post if I didn’t talk about animal symbolism lol, so I’m gonna talk about animal symbolism now! Specifically the homoeroticism of the hunting symbolism and how surprising horny (voreny?) and repressed Javert is :’3

Then he began the game. He experienced one ecstatic and infernal moment; he allowed his man to go on ahead, knowing that he had him safe, but desirous of postponing the moment of arrest as long as possible, happy at the thought that he was taken and yet at seeing him free, gloating over him with his gaze, with that voluptuousness of the spider which allows the fly to flutter, and of the cat which lets the mouse run. Claws and talons possess a monstrous sensuality,—the obscure movements of the creature imprisoned in their pincers. What a delight this strangling is! Javert was enjoying himself. The meshes of his net were stoutly knotted. He was sure of success; all he had to do now was to close his hand. (2.5.10)

Like?? Hello sir are you okay?? What about this could possibly be heterosexual :’3 Dshdhdh okay I’ll go back to doing a kinda serious analysis I just have to bully Javert for being Like This :’3

Javert’s animal symbolism can actually be used as part of a queer reading as a way to understand how he emotionally reacts to things. Javert is at his most emotional in chapter 5.4.1, Javert derailed. He’s is forced to confront everything he’s denied and repressed about himself and other people, and a large portion of this chapter is dedicated to how he feels about Valjean specifically. Do I think Javert has been in love with Valjean this entire time and is finally forced to confront his feelings? No. Up until this point I think they’ve both seen each other as an inconvenience and an obstacle who they somehow keep running into, and I don’t think this changes for Valjean after he saves Javert. He just doesn’t know Javert well enough outside of ‘that one weird policeman I keep running into’ to have any strong feelings about him.

I will argue though that in Javert derailed, Javert is in love with Valjean. I’m not even sure if he’s consciously aware that that’s what he’s feeling and I don’t think he really knows how to express it either. Hugo chooses to express a lot of Javert’s more complex feelings through animalistic metaphors, because Javert feels things in a very instinctive and animalistic way, that’s just how his understanding of himself and his emotions works ^^’

When he had so unexpectedly encountered Jean Valjean on the banks of the Seine, there had been in him something of the wolf which regains his grip on his prey, and of the dog who finds his master again. (5.4.1)

Javert is clearly having very conflicted feelings about what his relationship with Valjean is after he spared his life at the barricade. There’s still that hunting instinct that tells him he’s found the convict he was tracking down, but there’s something else there too. ‘The dog who finds his master again’. I don’t know how many of you have dogs but they’re always so happy to see their humans again whenever you go somewhere! Javert is happy to see him! Javert missed him! Maybe he even feels some affection towards him! Even the wolf finding his prey is excited to see it again, and in both of these scenarios the dog and the wolf desire closeness with the object of their attention. The homoeroticism of the hunt!! The love and devotion of the dog!! Symbolically, Javert is breaking his ties with the police and forming a bond with Valjean. Emotionally he’s confused and conflicted but he knows that he wants to be close to Valjean.

In the end, ‘the dog who finds his master’ wins out over the ‘wolf which regains his grip on his prey’. Javert lets Valjean go, and then we get this:

A terrible situation! to be touched. ... to be the watch-dog, and to lick the intruder’s hand! to be ice and melt! to be the pincers and to turn into a hand! to suddenly feel one’s fingers opening! to relax one’s grip,—what a terrible thing! (5.4.1)

God the tenderness!!!! How could this not be love in Javert’s weird canid way!! The affection of the dog who licks the human’s hand, the devotion of the dog finding his master!! Javert’s utter devotion towards the society he served is now being projected onto Valjean. Javert loves Valjean. Javert is in awe of Valjean, he’s terrified of him in the same way that men are terrified of angels!

A benevolent malefactor, merciful, gentle, helpful, clement, a convict, returning good for evil, giving back pardon for hatred, preferring pity to vengeance, preferring to ruin himself rather than to ruin his enemy, saving him who had smitten him, kneeling on the heights of virtue, more nearly akin to an angel than to a man. (5.4.1)

What could this be but love from Javert? The man who spent his whole life devoted to system that placed no value on his life and ended it devoted to the man who saved it.

All of that aside, queer readings don’t have to match up with personal headcanons! I don’t want this post to feel like I’m telling you you have to interpret Javert’s character in the book the way I do, this is just one way of reading it! I love to headcanon Javert as bi but that isn’t really supported anywhere in the text lol uwu’’ A queer reading is just about queer elements that are present in the text and there is no way Inspector Javert can be read as heterosexual <3

I love genderqueer Javert headcanons too and I have genderqueer Javert feelings about the line “you’ve got a beard like a man, mother, but I have claws like a woman,” but I also don’t know how to articulate any feelings I do have about it so I’m just leaving it here. Trans rights uwu

Thank you for reading this whole thing I really appreciate it when people get something out of my rambling lol, and as always reblogs are very appreciated and anyone is very welcome to add on to this if they’d like! <3

#javert #valvert #les mis #les miserables #les mis meta #queer readings #here's my queer reading of Javert as promised uwu <3 #monsters of our making

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theshedding · 3 years

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Lil Nas X: Country Music, Christianity & Reclaiming HELL

I don’t typically bother myself to follow what Lil Nas X is doing from day to day, or even month to month but I do know that his “Old Town Road” hit became one of the biggest selling/streamed records in Country Music Business history (by a Black Country & Queer artist). “Black” is key because for 75+ years Country music has unsuspiciously evolved into a solidly White-identified genre (despite mixed and Indian & Black roots). Regrettably, Country music is also widely known for anti-black, misogynoir, reliably homophobic (Trans isn’t really a conversation yet), Christian and Hard Right sentiments on the political spectrum. Some other day I will venture into more; there is a whole analysis dying to be done on this exclusive practice in the music industry with its implications on ‘access’ to equity and opportunity for both Black/POC’s and Whites artists/songwriters alike. More commentary on this rigid homogeneous field is needed and how it prohibits certain talent(s) for the sake of perpetuating homogeneity (e.g. “social determinants” of diversity & viable artistic careers). I’ll refrain from discussing that fully here, though suffice it to say that for those reasons X’s “Old Town Road” was monumental and vindicating.

As for Lil Nas X, I’m not particularly a big fan of his music; but I see him, what he’s doing, his impact on music + culture and I celebrate him using these moments to affirm his Black, Queer self, and lifting up others. Believe it or not, even in the 2020′s, being “out” in the music business is still a costly choice. As an artist it remains much easier to just “play straight”. And despite appearances, the business (particularly Country) has been dragged kicking and screaming into developing, promoting and advancing openly-affirming LGBTQ 🏳️‍🌈 artists in the board room or on-stage. Though things are ‘better’ we have not yet arrived at a place of equity or opportunity for queer artists; for the road of music biz history is littered with stunted careers, bodies and limitations on artists who had no option but to follow conventional ways, fail or never be heard of in the first place. With few exceptions, record labels, radio and press/media have successfully used fear, intimidation, innuendo and coercion to dilute, downplay or erase any hint of queer identity from its performers. This was true even for obvious talents like Little Richard.

(Note: I’m particularly speaking of artists in this regard, not so much the hairstylists, make-up artists, PA’s, etc.)

_____

Which is why...in regard to Lil Nas X, whether you like, hate or love his music, the young brother is a trailblazer. His very existence protests (at least) decades of inequity, oppression and erasure. X aptly critiques a Neo-Christian Fascist Heteropatriarchy; not just in American society but throughout the Music Business and with Black people. That is no small deal. His unapologetic outness holds a mirror up to Christianity at-large, as an institution, theology and practice. The problem is they just don’t like what they see in that mirror.

In actuality, “Call Me By Your Name”, Lil Nas X’s new video, is a twist on classic mythology and religious memes that are less reprehensible or vulgar than the Biblical narratives most of us grew up on vís-a-vís indoctrinating smiles of Sunday school teachers and family prior to the “age of reason”. Think about the narratives blithely describing Satan’s friendly wager with God regarding Job (42:1-6); the horrific “prophecies” in St. John’s Book of Revelation (i.e. skies will rain fire, angels will spit swords, mankind will be forced to retreat into caves for shelter, and we will be harassed by at least three terrifying dragons and beasts. Angels will sound seven trumpets of warning, and later on, seven plagues will be dumped on the world), or Jesus’s own clarifying words of violent intent in Matthew (re: “Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword.” 10:34). Whether literal or metaphor, these age old stories pale in comparison to a three minute allegorical rap video. Conservatives: say what you will, I’m pretty confident X doesn’t take himself as seriously as “The true and living God” from the book of Job.

A little known fact as it is, people have debunked the story and evolution of Satan and already offered compelling research showing [he] is more of a literary device than an actual entity or “spirit” (Spoiler: In the Bible, Satan does not take shape as an actual “bad” person until the New Testament). In fact, modern Christianity’s impression of the “Devil” is shaped by conflating Hellenized mythology with a literary tradition rooted in Dante’s Inferno and accompanying spooks and superstitions going back thousands of years. Whether Catholic, Protestant, Mormon, Scientologist, Atheist or Agnostic, we’ve spent a lifetime with these predominant icons and clichés. (Resource: Prof. Bart D. Erhman, “Heaven & Hell”).

So Here’s THE PROBLEM: The current level of fear and outrage is:

(1) Unjust, imposing and irrational.

(2) Disproportionate when taken into account a lifetime of harmful Christian propaganda, anti-gay preaching and political advocacy.

(3) Historically inaccurate concerning the existence of “Hell” and who should be scared of going there.

Think I’m overreacting?

Examples:

Institutionalized Homophobia (rhetoric + policy)

Anti-Gay Ministers In Life And Death: Bishop Eddie Long And Rev. Bernice King

Black, gay and Christian, Marylanders struggle with Conflicts

Harlem pastor: 'Obama has released the homo demons on the black man'

Joel Olsteen: Homosexuality is “Not God’s Best”

Bishop Brandon Porter: Gays “Perverted & Lost...The Church of God in Christ Convocation appears like a ‘coming out party’ for members of the gay community.”

Kim Burrell: “That perverted homosexual spirit is a spirit of delusion & confusion and has deceived many men & women, and it has caused a strain on the body of Christ”

Falwell Suggests Gays to Blame for 9-11 Attacks

Pope Francis Blames The Devil For Sexual Abuse By Catholic Church

Pope Francis: Gay People Not Welcome in Clergy

Pope Francis Blames The Devil For Sexual Abuse By Catholic Church

The Pope and Gay People: Nothing’s Changed

The Catholic church silently lobbied against a suicide prevention hotline in the US because it included LGBT resources

Mormon church prohibits Children of LGBT parents to be baptized

Catholic Charity Ends Adoptions Rather Than Place Kid With Same-Sex Couple

I Was a Religious Zealot That Hurt People-Coming Out as Gay: A Former Conversion Therapy Leader Is Apologizing to the LGBTQ Community

The above short list chronicles a consistent, literal, demonization of LGBTQ people, contempt for their gender presentation, objectification of their bodies/sexuality and a coordinated pollution of media and culture over the last 50+ years by clergy since integration and Civil Rights legislation. Basically terrorism. Popes, Bishops, Pastors, Evangelists, Politicians, Television hosts, US Presidents, Camp Leaders, Teachers, Singers & Entertainers, Coaches, Athletes and Christians of all types all around the world have confused and confounded these issues, suppressed dissent, and confidently lied about LGBT people-including fellow Queer Christians with impunity for generations (i.e. “thou shall not bear false witness against they neighbor” Ex. 23:1-3). Christian majority viewpoints about “laws” and “nature” have run the table in discussions about LGBTQ people in society-so much that we collectively must first consider their religious views in all discussions and the specter of Christian approval -at best or Christian condescension -at worst. That is Christian (and straight) privilege. People are tired of this undue deference to religious opinions.

That is what is so deliciously bothersome about Lil Nas X being loud, proud and “in your face” about his sexuality. If for just a moment, he not only disrupts the American hetero-patriarchy but specifically the Black hetero-patriarchy, the so-called “Black Church Industrial Complex”, Neo-Christian Fascism and a mostly uneducated (and/or miseducated) public concerning Ancient Near East and European history, superstitions-and (by extension) White Supremacy. To round up: people are losing their minds because the victim decided to speak out against his victimizer.

Additionally, on some level I believe people are mad at him being just twenty years old, out and FREE as a self-assured, affirming & affirmed QUEER Black male entertainer with money and fame in the PRIME of his life. We’ve never, or rarely, seen that before in a Black man in the music business and popular culture. But that’s just too bad for them. With my own eyes I’ve watched straight people, friends, Christians, enjoy their sexuality from their elementary youth to adolescence, up and through college and later marriages, often times independently of their spouses (repeatedly). Meanwhile Queer/Gay/SGL/LGBTQ people are expected to put their lives on hold while the ‘blessed’ straight people run around exploring premarital/post-marital/extra-marital sex, love and affection, unbound & un-convicted by their “sin” or God...only to proudly rebrand themselves later in life as a good, moral “wholesome Christian” via the ‘sacred’ institution of marriage with no questions asked.

Inequality defined.

For Lil Nas X, everything about the society we've created for him in the last 100+ years (re: links above) has explicitly been designed for his life not to be his own. According to these and other Christians (see above), his identity is essentially supposed to be an endless rat fuck of internal confusion, suicide-ideation, depression, long-suffering, faux masculinity, heterosexism, groveling towards heaven, respectability politics, failed prayer and supplication to a heteronormative earthly and celestial hierarchy unbothered in affording LGBT people like him a healthy, sane human development. It’s almost as if the Conservative establishment (Black included) needs Lil Nas X to be like others before him: “private”, mysteriously single, suicidal, suspiciously straight or worse, dead of HIV/AIDS ...anything but driving down the street enjoying his youth as a Black Queer artist and man. So they mad about that?

Well those days are over.

-Rogiérs is a writer, international recording artist, performer and indie label manager with 25+ years in the music industry. He also directs Black Nonbelievers of DC, a non-profit org affiliated with the AHA supporting Black skeptics, Atheists, Agnostics & Humanists. He holds a B.A. in Music Business & Mgmt and a M.A. in Global Entertainment & Music Business from Berklee College of Music and Berklee Valencia, Spain. www.FibbyMusic.net Twitter/IG: @Rogiers1

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tundrainafrica · 3 years

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i really thought hange was non-binary bc the one who said hanges gender was up for interpretation was kodansha us but isayama asked for gender neutral pronouns right?

here!

I’m gonna answer all of the gender asks in one go because for one, I don’t think I wanna flood my own feed and my own tumblr with the same arguments.

I think a lot of the questions on Hange’s gender and the topic of gender and sexuality overall are kinda intertwined and I feel like for anyone who actually reads my stuff, it’s better understood as one big wall of text.

So I was wondering, is that song the absolute proof about hange's gender?

No. I think the interpretation of the song which people are using to prove that Hange’s nonbinary is very western centric. I actually did research around this song and knowing what I know about Japanese culture, I actually interpret the song as a way for Japanese people to break out from gender norms.

For people who are not aware, Japan is incredibly strict with gender norms. The LGBTQ community is not as progressive as it is in Western countries (I mean gay marriage isn’t completely legalized yet). And just looking at it from the stand point of gender roles and gender expectations, despite the progressive thinking, there are a lot of things Japanese men and women have to conform to just to be respected in everyday society. Because in Japan, the community has always been more important than the individual and it’s honestly the same for most asian countries as well.

A lot of the pressure of living in Japan, working with Japanese people is the pressure to conform and I’ve seen my friends do it through small things like getting bangs (because all Japanese women have bangs apparently), wearing make up when going out (because this is generally an accepted for all Japanese people) and always dressing your best because in that manner women are held to an incredibly high standard in Japan. And this goes similarly for men who are constantly pressured to be the breadwinner in the family. If your wife is making more than you, be ready to hear people talk. I know these expectations exist in a Western setting too but Japan is incredibly stiff as a society and this is one reason why, despite having numerous opportunities to moveto Japan myself, I am not at all entertaining that possibility. I have worked in a Japanese company and I hated it and moved to a western company right after six months. I have completely accepted the fact that there is no mobility career wise from a non-Japanese (and a woman at that) in Japanese society.

In conformity, hierarchies etc, Japan is its own monster. That’s why when songs like Jibunrashiku, Hitchcock (by Yorushika) or Shisoukan (by Yorushika) come out, for one it’s in Japanese so I wouldn’t approach the songs from an English and as a Japanese speaker and someone who is pretty familiar with Japanese culture, I can’t help interpret that song as a social commentary for the shitty parts of Japanese society and how they tend to shoot the concept of an ‘individual’ down.

But does that mean I completely shoot down the idea that Hange is NB?

NO. Yams said so himself, Hange’s gender is unknown. But at the same time, Yams recognizes the fact that in the anime and in the live action, Hange is a female. If Yams were that adamant to make Hange NB, I think he would have at least made more of an effort to police how she is depicted in the anime and in the live action.

His exact words were:　「ハンジは彼（彼女）みたいな、ちょっと浮世離れした、枠にとらわれない自由な感じで描きたかったんです。」If I roughly translated it to English, “I wanted to draw Hange as someone otherworldly, free from the confines of gender.”

Tbh, I wanted to avoid these gender asks altogether but I’ve seen the environment in twitter and the ways many people approach gender, particularly ‘nonbinary’ or genderfluid and it really just doesn’t sit well with me. For one, what’s up with all these rules on how to approach our nonbinary and LGBTQ friends? What’s up with all these accusations that if we don’t follow them to a T, then we’re suddenly transphobic or homophobic?

The fact that we’re creating all these rules on how to go about her nonbinary gender for one, just defeats the whole purpose of Hange being a free bird in the first place who wouldn’t have cared and who wouldnt’ ever have been confined to gender in the first place.

I mean the establishment of set rules and social norms on how to navigate gender, sex, sexuality and gender roles is the reason why we had heternormativity in the first place. And what I can see, yes, we did get progressive, we did start recognizing other genders, other ways of thinking but the danger in all this is that, we’re once again creating frameworks and norms about how people that identify as these genders are supposed to act. And this defeats the whole purpose of why we recognized concepts of other sexualities, other genders and breaks from gender roles in the first place.

We wanted to show these people that their feelings are valid, that the way they’re navigating their relationships and their identities are valid and the heternormative society we’ve lived in that has been condemning for so long, was flawed, was wrong.

But the thing is, with the establishment of all these social norms on how to navigate our relationships with LGBTQ people and how to navigate our own gender, sexuality, sex and role is just making us regress back to that shitty heteronormative society of a hundred years ago. Because suddenly, everyone is questioning once again ‘How am I supposed to be feeling if I’m nb?” “How am I supposed to be feeling if I’m trans?” “How am I supposed to be feeling if I’m LGBT?”

And we’re creating these abstract ideas of how exactly, being genderfluid is supposed to feel like. Am I really supposed to be going by ‘they?’ Am I supposed to be uncomfortable with CIS pronouns?

And If I don’t go through this process… If I don’t feel this way then maybe I’m not NB? Maybe I’m not Trans? Maybe I’m not LGBT? And if I don’t conform to this clear cut idea of what NB is which people set up for me, god forbid I might just be transphobic or homophobic.

And Here’s the thing, everyone’s journey to self discovery is unique and there is no exact way to go about your gender or identity. I find it terrifying actually that creating all these clear cut rules have built misconceptions in so many people already on what they are supposed to feel like when they decide to identify with a certain gender which is no different from long ago when people had to hide the fact that they liked people of the same gender because god forbid they might just be persecuted for being gay.

Creating these frameworks, these incredibly strict rules on how someone is supposed to navigate relationships with LGBTs and their own personal identities is only making it all the more dangerous for people who are in the process of discovering themselves.

Back in college, I used to accompany a friend to a clinic when he was starting HRT treatments and before he started them, he had to consult with a doctor and the consultation lasted months. Before all that, they gave him a checklist of ‘feelings,’ which if he does experience them, he checks it and if he does check enough of them and agrees with a huge chunk of them, then he might have gender dysphoria and maybe the HRT treatments and sex reassignment was for him. It was a hundred item checklist, pages full of waivers, warnings and questions about his own experiences with his gender identity. And the fact that he had to consult for months after on that? There must be a reason.

Maybe because the academe realizes, maybe because those adept on the field on gender realize that gender is too complex of a subject to have been boxed into these categories in the first place.

And this whole discourse or I wouldn’t say discourse more of like, this ‘pushing of agendas’ as to say, ‘this is how being gender fluid or non binary is supposed to feel like’ this is how being transgender is supposed to feel like and if you don’t fit it to a T then you’re not transgender or you’re not nb. Or if you don’t fit it all, maybe you’re just transphobic is dangerous for many reasons. Either it gatekeeps people who want to explore their gender further. Or it forces people to have to conform to these and force themselves to ‘feel’ all of these things in the first place.

And god, this is just the gender issue, I haven’t even explored the sexuality, gender roles or biological issue.

i mean pronouns are important but they don’t really reflect someone’s gender??? like there’s people who use he/they, she/they or all pronouns(? they just don’t conform to gender binary ahaha

Given the environment on twitter and having witnessed the bullying first hand that came with one writer who is active on twitter using she/her pronouns for Hange, I feel like my own writing and my own POV on how I go about my writing and how I approach the gender of Hange (since I strictly use she/her) might just be a ticking time bomb and I might find myself at the end of whatever hate war or ‘education’ or as I like to just refer to as bullying, one day.

I believe though I at least have enough knowledge and awareness of the LGBTQ situation and I think I did put a lot of thought already into this before I made my decision to use ‘she’ to refer to Hange.

(And tbh, you can be nonbinary and you can be female at the same time and I’ve written about that multiple times already BECAUSE THEY’RE NOT EVEN IN THE SAME CATEGORY. And creating this mutual exclusivity between being nonbinary and female just kinda invalidates a lot of those people who are still deciding where exactly they fall in this complex web of identity discovery)

As someone who generally mainly hangs out with LGBT people and i have been doing this since high school by the way, and as someone who has tried all the sexualities on the spectrum, I talked to my asexual friends about possibly being asexual, I have experimented with women and sometimes, I just had dry spells and it just so happened that in the end of all these, I fell in love with a guy but I really believe that gender is such a flexible thing and even though I am with aguy right now, I still simp over lesbians, gays, ciswomen, transgenders because simping isn’t about gender.

And these set of rules on how to navigate genders is just invalidating the experiences of people who are flitting in between the two identities and it just hinders the process of self discovery for a lot of people.

Anyway, the point is, there is only one statement I found fundamental when approaching my relationships with the LGBT community and my own perspective on my self identity.

Recognition of someone’s feelings and their journey to a gender identity and the pronouns that come with it are important.

Then someone might go “THEN WHY DON’T YOU RESPECT HANGE’s NON BINARY PRONOUNS. Because just because someone is nonbinary doesn’t mean they automatically go for they. Just because someone is non-binary, doesn’t mean I have to use every single pronoun on the spectrum. The only one who can tell me what pronouns they want used on them is the person in question.

(I actually read an argument somewhere that going for ‘they’ just because someone is NB is transphobic lmfao. Assuming someone’s pronouns is apparently transphobic too lmfao.)

AND HANGE IS FICTIONAL. And we will never hear about which pronoun she would have wanted in the first place and I think the great ‘nontransphobic’ in-between is just letting people interpret characters how they want to interpret characters in this fictional world (And Hange can be both interpreted as nb and female). It’s the policing which makes the whole process of self discovery, the process of navigating genders all the more difficult for a lot of people.

And policing how exactly people should navigate gender and sexuality is just gatekeeping. Hange is everyone’s character. The only gender and sexuality identity people have complete jurisdiction on, is their own. And this policing of what exactly certain journeys to discovery are supposed to feel like is inherently harmful for those who are still in the process of deciding for themselves where they stand.

And going back to what Yams said “I wanted to draw Hange as someone otherworldly, free from the confines of gender/sexuality/gender roles.” I agree with that.

Because even though I do use ‘she’ with Hange, I do not firmly believe that Hange is a cisgender heterosexual female either. I just believe there are so many more layers to her whole identity and I believe similarly for every single person. Just concluding for one’s self that Hange is nonbinary with a very narrow minded view of what non binary just generally defeats the whole purpose of being ‘free from the confines of gender’ and hinders a lot of discourse and analysis on Hange’s identity over all.

I mean, I don’t know if people agree with this but in the decades I have spent with my close friends figuring out their gender identities, changing pronouns, transitioning, coming out to their parents, here is one thing I noticed. They weren’t asking for a celebration of their gender or sexuality, they weren’t asking for all these policing on how people should approach them. All they wanted was for their feelings to be validated, normalized as an everyday occurrence. I think the point of all these LGBTQ discourse (and by extension race and sex discourse) were all there to just make all these different identities normalized and to completely eradicate the concept of a negative bias or an other which was generally plaguing society for a long time.

And as their friends, I have never approached them as this champion who would make sure EVERYONE RESPECTED THEM IN THAT WAY IN TWITTER THEY BELIEVE LGBTQ PEOPLE SHOULD BE RESPECTED. All these nonverbal rules I have set up for myself on how to go about being friends with them is because I wanted them to be happy and comfortable in their shoes. And what were the types of things they appreciated? Me hiding it from their parents until they were ready to come out, me helping make their relationship work with their partner, me respecting the pronouns they requested for themselves, me accompanying them to HRT when their parents refused.

And you know what, that was only a facet of our friendships. My friends’ gender identities and sexualities never dominated discourse. None of them were the ‘token gay friend,’ the ‘token lesbian friend’ or the ‘token asexual friend’ or the ‘token NB friend.’ They were all people I genuinely care about who just happened to have fallen in love with someone of the same gender. They were just people who just happened to be uncomfortable with their original sex. But I would never just describe them as just that. My friend who just so happens to identify as assexual makes a great companion on a night out drinking. My friend who just so happens to be trasngender is really great with logistics and planning and was super helpful and I was eternally grateful when we worked together on that one project. My friend who just happens to be a lesbian has the cutest picture of her girlfreind on her phone screen.

I will memorize their favorite orders, what makes them tick, what makes them such a great companion, their talents, capabilities more than I will remember their gender. And that’s the characetr song in question is called “Jibunrashiku” or in English “just like me.” Because in the end a strict society which creates all these maxims of what exactly people of a certain gender should act would of course birth songs like “Just like me” A society which puts so much emphasis on gender and sex as an identity instead of other things like personality, preferences, skills etc.

And I don’t know if it applies to everyone. But my friends appreciate it because this journey to whatever gender identity they chose wasn’t rooted in some sort of strict framework on how they should be treated according to twitter. It was rooted in their own experiences and how these experiences made them feel.

Do they feel weird in a woman’s body? Do they just don’t feel any romantic attraction to the opposite gender?

Just treat them as how you would treat anyone else you respect. Just be a decent person. Just be a good friend.

Respect their requests for their own personal pronouns. If they need help, help them to the best of your abilities.

And here’s the thing, the approach I use with navigating identities, sexuaities genders are rooted in one very simple concept which can be applied to the race discourse, the feminist discourse etc etc.

Don’t be an ass. Respect people. Don’t reduce people to one facet of their identity. And by extension, when faced with such a dubious situation, think, discern for yourself what’s right or wrong. When there are people educating you, policing you on what is right or wrong, process that information objectively.

All I have here right now is my own opinions on the gender discourse on Hange and my own opinions on the discourse overall.

If you don’t agree with it, then have a nice day and I hope you find something else that will convince you to be more openminded but...

UTANG NA LOOB HUWAG LANG KAYO MAMBULLY NG TAO POTA. MAGHANAP NALANG KAYO NG IBANG PWEDENG GAWIN SA BUHAY MO.

ANG DAMING NASASAKTAN ANG DAMING NATRATRAUMA ANG DAMING NAWAWALANG GANA MAGSULAT KASI DI KAYO NAG-IISIP. PURO TIRA LANG.

Okay thank you for listening. Do what you want with the information up there but I have said my piece.

#hange zoe #hanji zoe #commander hange #commander hanji #meta

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spaceskam · 4 years

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warning: mentions of past bullying/homophobia because it kyle

Kyle Valenti had prepared for a lot of up and downs in life. It came with the territory of being pre-med.

What he had not prepared for was coming home for Christmas break after his very first semester in college to see that his father had moved in Alex Manes so he didn’t get shipped off to war. He was even further less prepared for the following two weeks of seeing Alex Manes in increasingly more compromising situations--bent over to get something out of the oven, reaching up to get laundry detergent, stretching in the morning, parading around shirtless before bed, choosing tight little biking shorts to run in, sweating after working out, working out, just to name a few.

By far, the last thing he’d been prepared for was, when his parents were at the station’s Christmas party, getting a little too drunk on whiskey with Alex Manes in a hot tub while discussing Lord of the Rings which somehow led to giving him head on the back porch like a fucking disaster who had no self control.

Now it was morning and Kyle was replaying the entire night over and over, staring at his bedroom ceiling with wide eyes. Up until college, Kyle had figured he was 100% straight. He’d seen cute guys, but no one he’d actually want to do anything with and, to him, that felt heterosexual enough. But those measly three and a half months that he’d spent at UNM had completely fucked up his world. Who knew so many boys got hot after high school?

But, still, he’d never really thought about acting on it outside of a fleeting, intrusive thought. Those thoughts got more frequent and stayed a little longer with Alex in his house, but he thought he had control. He thought it wasn’t a problem. Clearly he was very wrong.

In the next room over, Alex was sleeping in what used to be the guest bedroom. Disgust filled his mind as he remembered his parents explaining that having Alex around would be just like having a brother. You grew up together, they’d said, it’s no different than an adoptive sibling. There was nothing brotherly about the way he thought about Alex.

When someone knocked on Kyle’s door, he sat up and immediately started thinking of ways to explain himself. It was an accident, he didn’t mean to get on his knees. He simply fell. Alex went to help him, it was totally innocent when his shorts slipped off his hips. Water was heavy, you know? Besides, he wet ass-print on the wall had to be dry by now, there was absolutely no evidence that anything had been done for a long period of time.

“Come in,” he said, voice slightly strained. Funnily enough, he wasn’t even hung over. At least, not on the whiskey.

Alex peeked his head in, seeing a little hesitant as he stared at him. His hair was ruffled, his septum piercing crooked, and, instead of his usual shirtless morning body, he had on a baggy sweater that engulfed him entirely. Kyle wanted to die. Why the fuck was that attractive? Who was calling the shots in his brain? He’d like to have a talk with them.

“Hey,” Alex said, clearing his throat, “Could we, uh, talk for a sec?”

“Yeah,” Kyle said, fidgeting in his bed.

Alex entered the room completely and closed the door behind him. He seemed hesitant to come near him, but he did anyway. Kyle prepared himself for the absolute shit show about to come. He knew it would be bad because, honestly, he didn’t know what he wanted him to say. Did he want to be rejected? Did he want to find out what his lips tasted like? They’d skipped the kissing stage on accident.

“Um,” Alex whispered, his sleeves pulled over his hands as he tried to look natural. He just looked scared. “I just wanted to apologize about last night. I-If I made you feel like you had to do something you didn’t want to or just made you feel uncomfortable in anyway, I’m genuinely sorry. The whole lead up is blurry, so I don’t know if...”

“No,” Kyle jumped in, shaking his head, “No, dude, no. That’s, that’s not what happened.”

Alex eyed him and nodded slowly, not quite believing him. Which made sense. They had a weird time in high school. Or, just, bad. A bad time in high school. Why exactly was Alex the one apologizing again?

“I’m sorry,” Kyle added, “If I made you feel like-”

“No,” Alex said, voice soft and adorable and what the fuck, “No, I wanted it.” Kyle swallowed harshly. Was it getting hot in here? “I just, I know how you feel--or, felt, I guess--about me being gay and I wasn’t sure if there was some miscommunication happening. Because, like, I don’t actually remember any communication happening at all.”

“No, look, I’m sorry. About high school. All of it, I was stupid and confused,” Kyle told him, watching Alex’s eyebrows furrow a little bit, “I’m still stupid and confused. I do know I don’t... regret it. But I am still trying to wrap my head around it.” Alex didn’t say anything, simply nodding to show he was listening but didn’t want to put any words in his mouth. “Like, does this mean I’m gay now?”

Alex smiled a little in relief, shaking his head, “No.”

“Well, do you know what it does mean?” Kyle asked, “Because I definitely enjoyed myself, but I have never wanted to do that before the last, like, week. Then I get the opportunity and I throw caution to the wind. How’s that for impulse control?”

Alex gave a little laugh and it eased Kyle’s mind a bit more.

“Um, could mean a couple things. Could mean you were just experimenting which is normal. Could mean you’re bi or something. It, uh, it takes awhile to really find a good word. Even then, it’s hard to know if it’s permanent. Stuff’s weird,” Alex explained, shrugging his shoulders. Kyle licked his lips and then moved his legs to sit criss-cross, giving Alex a space to sit on his bed. It took a little bit of silent confirmation before he did so.

“So, I’m gonna be confused for the rest of my life?”

“Not necessarily,” Alex said, biting his lips momentarily and Kyle really felt like it was on purpose, “Like, for me, I know I’m gay. I know I only want to have sex with men. But sometimes I still am like, okay, am I really though? Which, I don’t know, I think it’s pretty normal ‘cause, you know, heteronormativity is a thing.”

“Heteronormativity?” Kyle repeated. Alex again gave that sweet little smile.

“You know, like, thinking being straight is the default in society and, because of that, it makes it hard to understand your own sexuality and your own outlook on life because, well, it’s different from what’s been instilled in you from a young age,” Alex rambled. Maybe he was a little hungover because it felt like he was getting a little too fancy for first thing in the morning.

“Right, so what I’m hearing is that wanting to see you naked and wanting to get your dick in my mouth was the beginning to a whole goddamn deconstruction of the way I view my own personality and, by extension, existence,” Kyle responded. Alex’s cheeks were a little flushed as the more blunt statement, but he nodded nonetheless. “Cool. Nothing quite like an existential crisis for breakfast.”

Alex gave a more genuine laugh this time and Kyle felt like, of all the things to be confused about right now, his mouth was not one of them.

“So, you’re not mad?” Alex clarified.

“No,” Kyle said honestly, “But I’m sorry I was a dick to you in high school for clearly my own issues.”

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not.”

“Yeah,” Alex agreed, licking his lips. He again pulled on his sleeves. “So... What now?”

Kyle didn’t have an answer. In fact, all he could do was stare at Alex and his lips and his cheekbones and his crooked little septum ring. He glanced up at Alex’s eyes for a moment before letting his gaze drift back down to his lips, feeling a little overwhelmed with desire. It was really hard to have a full freak out about things when Alex was literally sitting on his bed and looking too good to fathom.

Kyle lifted his hand mindless towards Alex’s face and was only remembered that it was weird when Alex flinched in response.

“Sorry,” he said, “Can I?”

Alex looked a little concerned about what he was asking for, but he gave a short nod to say that he trusted him not to be cruel. Kyle took that as the best thing he’d ever seen, but also acknowledged that he had a lot more to work on than just his own self-discovery. He should definitely work on making things up to Alex.

But, for that moment, he straightened out the little metal piece and rested his hand on the side of Alex’s neck. Alex just watched him, waiting for him to be the one to make the first move. So he did.

Kyle moved in slowly, telling himself he’d already gone way further than a kiss and so it shouldn’t be scary. It was still terrifying. He could feel Alex swallow harshly as he got close. Then they closed the gap.

The kiss was short and PG and, honestly, a little awkward. Yeah, they definitely need to fix some other things before this would be as fun as it was last night.

Alex gave a short little laugh as they pulled apart, eyes sweet and kind and really helping Kyle make more sense of the world. How the hell had he ever been mean to him?

“Maybe we should go downstairs so you parents don’t get any ideas?” Alex suggested. Kyle nodded, tempted to kiss him once more just because. He knew it would be a little weird, though, and wasn’t sure if Alex wanted him to, so he didn’t. “And, don’t worry, I’ll keep your little revelation to myself.”

“Thanks,” Kyle said, feeling a little relieved over that despite not having considered that he would’ve told anyone. This was so fucking weird.

“And, when you go back to school, you know you can always call me if you need to talk about it. I get that it’s hard,” Alex offered. Man, Kyle really wanted to kiss him again.

“Can I kiss you again?” Kyle asked. Alex laughed and rolled his eyes.

“Just a little bit.”

“Fair enough,” Kyle agreed, leaning forward with a little more confidence. The kiss was better than the first one, more comfortable and expected. It still didn’t go past anything you’d see on Disney Channel, but it had Kyle feeling ready to start his day.

“Okay,” Alex said against his lips, “Ready to go pretend like we didn’t defile your family’s backyard?”

“Yeah,” Kyle said, “But I can’t wait to do it again.”

Alex snorted a laugh and stood up off the bed.

“You sound so sure it’ll happen again.”

“Oh, it won’t?”

“We’ll see.”

And Kyle was definitely willing to wait.

#kylex #kylex fic #kyle valenti #alex manes #roswell new mexico #my fic

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triplecrossroads · 3 years

Text

Cinderella is Dead review (Warning- spoilers and mentions of violence)

Cinderella is Dead is a YA fantasy book set 200 years after the story of Cinderella. It was written by Kalynn Bayron; a black queer woman and mother of four, and was published 7 July 2020, making it a very recent book. The book explores themes of misogyny, the patriarchy, heteronormativity and queer love. It’s a fresh take on an old tale and despite being based on a well-known fairy-tale, Bayron’s novel is a very original concept that feels brand new.

As the blurb states, Cinderella is Dead isn’t about Cinderella but instead is about a young girl named Sophia and her rebellion from the homophobic and patriarchal society she lives in. In Lille, the kingdom the story takes place in, all eligible girls must attend an annual ball in “honour” of Cinderella and must be chosen by a man at the ball. Those who are not chosen are considered forfeit. Rebels and queer folk are also considered forfeit, often given up by their own family. Most of the book follows Sophia and another young girl, Constance, an exile from Lille who has dedicated her life to taking down King Manford and freeing people from his oppressive rule. While the book is fantasy, it makes many relevant points about those in power, men’s feelings of entitlement and those who uphold oppressive structures. Constance says that the most dangerous people are those who follow blindly and support leaders in all their actions, even when said actions actively harm the community and the people themselves. This point is incredibly important in today's climate and opens up the door for more criticisms like it. No system can exist without followers, and no leader can oppress people without help from those in society. Another thing that is brought up in the book is how Prince Charming felt he deserved Cinderella’s love because of the money and life he provided her, ignoring that he violated her consent and took her away from those who loved her. His reaction to the constant rejection is violence and ultimately leads to Cinderella’s death. As we have seen before, especially in 2021, this feeling of entitlement isn’t limited to fiction and is common in our society. Just like in Cinderella is Dead, many boys are socialised to view women and girls as objects, as property. They are told if they are persistent in their advances then eventually women will say yes. They are taught to expect romantic feelings and sexual favours from women simply because they want them. While this doesn’t take the responsibility away from men as individuals, it is crucial we recognise how the environment in which we grow up can affect our beliefs. We see this in Cinderella is Dead. The King isn’t the only man who shares this sentiment; in fact, most of the men in power see things this way. So many of them feel women owe them things simply because of their social status and gender. This book is the perfect opportunity to start needed conversations about why this is and how dangerous it is to women all over the world.

Just as much as the story critiques sexism, particularly discrimination against women queerness is also a key topic in the book. The main protagonist is a queer woman. By our terms she would best be described as lesbian. In the book, her parents’ main issue isn’t necessarily her attraction to women but more what it means for her safety and theirs. This non-acceptance but not rejection either is common in families with a queer child. Sophia’s parents would rather she be dishonest to herself and everyone around her and hide who she is to fit in with the rest of society. Similarly, Erin; Sophia’s partner at the beginning of the book, denies Sophia a lot of affection and gives up on their relationship because she believes there is no way out. Like many queer people, Erin is afraid of disappointing her family and having them disown her. Unlike Sophia, she would rather stick to the status quo and avoid punishment and shame. This inevitably leads to the breakdown of her and Sophia’s relationship, Sophia becomes exhausted with constantly having to fight for love from the other girl and Erin too terrified to leave with Sophia and go somewhere their relationship is accepted or to help create a place where it could be. However, Erin is not the true love interest in this story. No, Sophia’s romantic counterpart for most of the book is the sword-wielding, rebellious and dangerous Constance, who is opposite to Erin in every way. Constance, like Sophia, spent her entire fighting the ways of Lille, albeit in more obvious and violent ways. Her entire life she fled from the clutches of the king, all the while preparing for the day she might get to take him down. Having not grown up in Lille, she is not scared to go against their rules for femininity and sexuality, therefore making her more openly express affection for Sophia in a way the protagonist never has before. The two are perfectly matched. The one other openly queer character in the story is a side character named Luke, who’s male lover was given up as forfeit by his own family when their relationship was discovered. He and Sophia bond over their shared experience of being different and living in a society that doesn’t accept them. He delivers one of the most powerful lines in the book; “Just because they deny us doesn’t mean we cease to exist”. Other than Erin, Luke is the only other queer person Sophia has met at this point and he could be considered one of the biggest reasons Sophia rebels. However before this, Luke proposes a “lavender marriage” between him and Sophia so they could escape Lille together. This never happens and Luke isn’t in much of the book beyond that scene.

Queer love is central to the story and driving motivation in Sophia’s journey. First her love for Erin, then her pity for Luke’s lost love and finally, Constance and the relationship she develops with her.

Personally, I really enjoyed the book. It is well-written, concise and not too flowery but still descriptive and full. While I did predict the twist, I don’t think that is a bad thing. In my opinion, if a reader can make a guess about a twist in the story, that just means you did a good job establishing the world and characters. If the readers are shocked by a plot twist that is great as well and the other twist nearing the end was not one I was expecting but made so much sense considering the context. Sophia was an interesting main character and the perfect perspective to tell the story from. I loved her personality and how she interacted with others; she was relatable, slightly awkward and determined. She was also realistic. Despite her being opposed to the rules and disagreeing with how Lille was ruled, she even believed the lies told to her and had internalised struggles with how different she was. Her relationship was a welcome change from the unrequited love and pining so common in wlw media. Both her and Constance cared for each other and desired each other equally. There was a passion in their relationship not present in Sophia and Erin’s relationship.

A huge part of why I enjoyed the book so much was because of the representation. Not only of queer folk and women but of people of colour as well. Sophia describes herself as having tight curls and brown skin, the cover art is of a black woman, and many of the other characters were poc as well. As a queer woman of colour, this book is hugely important to me and is an example of how I think things should be done in regards to representation.

#cinderella is dead #wlw books #writing #book review #mentions of sexism #mentions of homophobia

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notthatiwilleverwriteit · 4 years

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thanks for ur as always deepful analyses and answers ! another ask for u : im soo afraid in the next chapter momo will be homophobic towards ht !! I mean except Zzx who seems at ease with his sexuality, the other boys all seem kind of homophobic. Jy called ht repulsive bc he called him pretty while he was a guy, Ht is very agressive in his advances (which i linked to toxic virility which entails homophobia) ; then both of them changed for the better bc of their feelings for another man. 1/?

Good evening, dear anon-san!

“thanks for ur as always deepful analyses and answers !”

I’m glad you’ve enjoyed them! Every time people send me questions it always makes me happy and to be honest, a bit taken aback because I’m just a little old me. But I’m glad my answers have had such a positive reception and given people food for thought. And it’s always a pleasant surprise when people feel like they can come to my ask box with their interpretations and strike up a conversation.

Homophobia is a very complex topic, and I wondered where I should start to unravel this ask. But soon I realized before I can even begin that I have to take a moment to sort out my own feelings. Whenever people say the boys in 19 Days are abusive or homophobic for whatever reason I tend to get ticked off. It’s a knee-jerk reaction, often sparked by my own bias, but something that can very easily cloud my answer and make it unfair for you. Exchanging interpretations and perspectives requires a level of objectivity and the ability to rise above your own bias. I can’t dismiss something just because it uncomfortably pokes my nerve. Instead, I should take a step back, try and see things from another point of view, and find some common ground.

I’m not saying I had to struggle to agree with you on anything but your ask certainly reminded me of how challenging yet rewarding it is to actually listen to an interpretation that differs from my own and try to objectively look at the story from that point of view. It hurts your brain at first but is surprisingly freeing in the end.

Because you addressed so many things in your ask, I will tie my answer together under the theme of homophobia and give it some structure that way. This will be my great 19 Days - homophobia edition. \(^v^)/

Sexual orientation and environment

Let’s start with the biggest context you brought up in your ask: social and cultural environment. I’m not familiar enough with Chinese culture to have anything definite to say about its attitude towards LGBT people. Of course, I’ve heard of the discrimination and even blatant hate by their government but I don’t have any idea about how ordinary, modern-day Chinese people view others with different sexual orientations. Not to mention, it’s always risky to take fictional works as an accurate representation of the milieu in which they’re set.

But I do think that 19 Days discusses homophobia in societies, though on a more general level. As Jian Yi has come to realize his feelings towards Zhan Zheng Xi, we’ve also gotten glimpses of his struggles. They’re surrounded by other kids in school, and from the very early chapters it’s been implied two guys being that close together or comfortable with that level of skinship turns people’s heads (ch. 53, 54, 55, and 57):

Of course, those panels also poke fun at the stereotype of girls being interested in cute guys being cute together. The girls stare, take pictures, and even smile knowingly. This bothered ZZX because it put him in awkward situations and created misunderstandings that would be embarrassing to correct. And the more he would try to deny and correct them, the more he would probably end up looking suspicious. But the bottom line is, he was increasingly conscious of the weird looks and attention JY’s antics were attracting and didn’t want people to get the wrong picture of his friendship with JY. All of that could give us some hints on how two boys being close might be viewed by their peers, but it should also be kept in mind that those kinds of “gay panic” moments are a big part of the humor you find in 19 Days.

Having a crush on someone of the same gender gets more serious tones after JY kissed ZZX (ch. 142)

The secret was finally out in the open. JY had carried his feelings in his heart for a long time. He had wanted to confess them so many times and often hidden them behind jokes and antics. Perhaps every time he had jumped to hug ZZX he had caught a whiff of his scent and enjoyed the feeling of him in his arms. But to take the definite last step of confessing and lifting that curtain had always terrified him. And who wouldn’t have been scared? Not only would you have to come out but also risk losing your childhood best friend. It could be JY had even thought of never telling ZZX about his feelings because it could go horribly wrong.

For a while, things are somewhat put on pause after the first reveal which I found very realistic. JY wasn’t flat-out rejected but ZZX most definitely needed a moment to sort out his own feelings. He pestered JY to be straight with him (pun not intended...) and made it clear it would be safe for JY to rely on him and free himself of the burden. Despite that JY was still very unsure if his confession won’t result in ZZX abandoning him because “gay” is abnormal and disgusting (ch. 164):

Even when JY finally confessed he was expecting to be rejected in disgust (ch. 209):

But he had sort of reached the point of just finally getting it all out even if ZZX wouldn’t return his feelings. Even if it meant they wouldn’t be friends anymore. At least he had said it. He had heartbreakingly little faith that their kind of relationship wouldn’t be completely doomed. Thank god he had fallen for someone like ZZX. I don’t think I’ve never been as grateful for a character like him before.

A tangible example of how Zhanyi and their environment collided was Xiao Hui’s character (ch. 158):

When she called JY a disgusting gay, it was the first time he was facing that kind of homophobia. Though her actions were frustrating, I think Xiao Hui’s character was a good addition to Zhanyi. At first, she lashed out both because she was hurt and publicly humiliated but also no doubt because she had internalized the idea that heterosexuality was the norm and anything else was abnormal and wrong. Later on, she had had time to lick her wounds and calm down (ch. 258):

She still has a crush on ZZX but even though she probably realizes she doesn’t have a chance she still wants a clear rejection from ZZX. It still hurts and stings but doesn’t upset her as much. It could even be she’s a little happy for them. I think Xiao Hui’s character is a good example that people are capable of changing and reflecting when they’re given a chance. And no one should be forever held accountable and punished for the mistakes they made and have since bettered themselves.

In a broader sense, I think Zhanyi also discusses what kind of future a same-sex couple could have in society (ch. 268):

That drawing on the wall is my favorite Zhanyi moment. As cute as ZZX drawing him and JY together was, it also carries some bittersweet undertones. The original drawing represents the norm: a boy and a girl in love but if there are no skirts involved, it’s a whole other story. To be open about their relationship would most probably never be an option for JY and ZZX. Something as simple as holding hands in public would take courage and threaten to complicate other aspects of their lives (school, work, family). They don’t have the same privilege as straight people to openly and safely share their feelings and have that universal experience.

Your ask was mainly about Mo Guan Shan and He Tian, but I wanted to take a moment to talk about their environment since you also referred to it. And the easiest way for that seemed to be to talk about the progress of Zhanyi. As you suggested, it does seem the society in which all of the characters live is very much heteronormative which puts pressure on the characters to fit in. And if they fail that, they will face homophobia and most probably feel the need to hide their true selves. Case in point, Zhanyi.

Boys being boys

As much as I know that phrase is deemed Problematic™ these days, I think it fits the dynamics of the boys of 19 Days. They mess with each other, and all of that is typical humor for the comic. Personally, I’ve never taken any of their teasing and good-natured bullying seriously because it’s how 15-year-old boys are around each other.

However, I just finished talking about the environment under which influences and discourses the boys have grown up. I don’t feel like I can ignore what I had just been saying and brush it off as “oh well, they’re just boys” if they’ve always been surrounded by certain attitudes. Does that mean the boys have also internalized those attitudes towards gay people despite having feelings for someone of the same sex? Does that make them a representation of toxic masculinity and internalized homophobia?

In all honesty, I’m struggling to answer those questions. On one hand, I do agree that society’s norms of what is masculine put a lot of pressure on boys when growing up. You have to act, talk, dress, and be in a certain way to be accepted, and it doesn’t take a lot for kids to internalize those ideas. And as you said, acting or looking gay (not to mention, actually being one) is probably the worst a young boy could be. Being gay is often linked to everything a proper man shouldn’t be: sissy, effeminate, sensitive, weak, submissive, on the bottom. The list goes on and on.

On the other hand, do I think you can see that in the four main boys of 19 Days? I suppose it’s possible if that’s the direction you want to take. If you look at anything through those lenses, you can probably find toxic masculinity everywhere. Do I think HT, MGS, JY and ZZX are homophobic because they possibly showcase traits of toxic masculinity? I guess. I don’t know. I see where that interpretation comes from, but some part of my brain never manages to make the full connection between those two. I’m constantly having a feeling that my way of thinking differs from your interpretation but I can’t properly validate or argue my opinions.

Perhaps taking a look at the examples you mentioned might help. You talked about JY being homophobic when this was his response to HT calling him good looking (ch. 108):

I can’t exactly deny that panel couldn’t be taken as toxic masculinity. I might even agree with you on that. I wouldn’t probably go as far as saying JY was being homophobic but it does seem like his masculinity was threatened or questioned in that situation. Interestingly, I’ve seen that phrase pop up a lot in yaoi/shounen-ai comics. Characters who are in a gay relationship don’t often feel comfortable with guys complimenting them - or even the guy they’re in love with. I’ve always wondered that. Does that mean there’s a level of self-denial in those characters or is it just a cultural thing? Does it embarrass them?

In general, I think all of that has to do with their age, and another good example of that would be ZZX and JY’s reaction to HT messing with MGS (ch. 289 and 298):

I’ve seen people calling those moments homophobic as well and can’t really agree with them. I would say those reactions have more to do with teenage boys being awkward and embarrassed. HT putting the moves on MGS in front of them is embarrassing and something they don’t wish to see. I mean, I wouldn’t want to see my friends constantly acting like that around me either. Seeing public displays of affection embarrasses me and makes me awkward as hell. (Though, I don’t know if that’s just a Finnish thing...)

In short, I see a lot of how the boys act around each other just natural to how teenage boys are. They mess with each other and standing up for yourself in that sense (for example, getting revenge, being physical, or returning the verbal teasing) is important and typical. That’s how I see JY’s words in the example you mentioned: he felt like HT was messing with him and shot back. All of that could, of course, be seen as internalized toxic masculinity, but I don’t think it’s quite as blatant as people sometimes make it out to be. I’ve always taken it as boys just being boys and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.

What comes to HT being pushy and overbearing, I don’t see that being connected to toxic masculinity and making him homophobic because of that. It feels a bit of a stretch and shakey. Instead, I actually think HT is quite comfortable with both of his own feelings for MGS and the idea of same-sex relationships in general (ch. 187):

The little heart-to-hearts JY and HT occasionally have also show us that despite often making fun of each other, they can take it more seriously when needed. JY would have never asked about having feelings for another male if he couldn’t trust HT wouldn’t make fun of him.

The case of Mo Guan Shan

You talked a lot about MGS, so I thought I’d take a closer look at his character separately. You made some interesting points I’ve also been thinking about and was glad they popped up in your ask.

Since we’ve talked about toxic masculinity so far, let’s continue on that. You mentioned that MGS is prone to homophobia because he’s had to act tough. Upholding a certain kind of image is essential in gangs. Being weak and submissive - aka gay, as I talked about above - isn’t an option in that line of work.

I agree with you on all of that. Why MGS is so uncomfortable with HT being physical with him is at least partly because he can’t come across as someone who can be taken advantage of (ch. 250):

If he can be physically overpowered and made vulnerable, it means he can be submitted. In the masculine world, physical strength seems to be the final and ultimate law that settles all the disputes at the latest. And if you lose in that you’re on the bottom or at least lower on the hierarchy. Now, multiply that mentality by a lot to fit it in the world of teenage gangs and the borderline criminal underworld. So, yes, I would most definitely say MGS doesn’t want himself to be put in that situation. Much less anyone finding out about it.

Then again, the story has kind of revisited that idea when HT “joined” MGS’s gang and his underlings started seeing HT around more. And they seem somewhere between intimidated by HT and impressed their boss has managed to make someone like HT call him “brother”. That fits the same mentality of strength, but I can’t honestly see Buzzcut or other members of the gang giving MGS a hard time even if they found out about HT’s affections. Chances are, they would be even more impressed, bless them.

Overall, I think MGS lashing out (or being homophobic) is mostly due to him not trusting HT and HT slowly but surely wearing him out and making him see his own prejudice against people like HT. Yelling out insults has been the easiest way to fight HT’s affections, although it’s not proven very successful. It’s also important to remember MGS is fairly inexperienced when it comes to love and romantic affection (ch. 222):

He’s always been rejected and discriminated by his peers and over the years, he’s started to mirror that behavior and push people away. Having crushes (let alone having a girlfriend) has never really been a concern for him. And it’s not like he’s had time for something like romance anyway because working has taken so much of his time. In this regard, MGS isn’t that mature or experienced and tends to get uncomfortable and lash out very quickly.

I’ve already talked about the note and what kind of role I think it will have (if it will be addressed at all). And I’m not really worried about MGS saying something homophobic to HT. I think we’re way past of him being like “I don’t speak to a homo” at this point already. He’s been aware of HT’s affections for a good while by now and even tentatively warmed up to some of it (for example, the aquarium date and the studs). (Even though, I think it’s still too early to talk about MGS being in love with HT.)

MGS has come a long way, and I might even say he’s gained some sexuality-related maturity on the way. Slowly but surely, he’s become comfortable with having HT around, and if after all this development he would say something like that, it would be a pretty big step backward. Of course, that doesn’t mean he can’t throw insults and lash out but let’s not forget we’re talking about a purebred tsundere here. That’s always going to happen with him.

And while we’re keeping it real, it’s not like HT would pay any mind to those insults. After MGS asked for the studs, I think HT’s resolve has only strengthened.

I hope this answer makes some sense, to me it feels like a bit of a mess of this and that. A lof of “I can’t deny that but still...” You really threw some hard questions and challenged my thinking a lot. Thank you!

#19 days #tianshan #zhanyi #Jian Yi #He Tian #mo guan shan #Zhan zheng xi #answered ask

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thecorteztwins · 4 years

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ALT-MARAUDERS THINGS

Haven’s FACE when she finds out about the sexual aspect of the Hellfire Club though. I know you’re going “duh, Haven!” but actually the saucy side of the HFC isn’t very well-known to people outside it. The majority of the HFC is just a social club for super duper rich people, and while they CAN access the sex club underside, I doubt all of them do, and it’s certainly not something everyone is talking about at the stuffy galas and balls and so on. Which she’s been to for roping other rich people into charity projects. But that never involved...actual ropes. I’m just picturing her totally BLUESCREENING, like total Error 404 when she sees something scandalous S&M, and then this very, very quiet “Oh.” *** Pyro writes Sebastian Shaw into his books as a total strawman villain and emphasizes how ugly he is, yet somehow the Shaw-insert still gets fangirls. *** Madelyne and Claudine’s dynamic is not in a good place after Madelyne finds out about Alice but my endgame is to bring them back from that. When they do, they share clothes a lot. *** Claudine still has that HUGE COWBOY HAT and wears it all the time, it keeps the sun off her delicate skin! *** Claudine and Shinobi arguing about the ending of Titanic and Shinobi INSISTING there was room on the door for them both, Claudine explaining it’s not about room it’s about BUYOUNCY. Shinobi and Pyro end up getting on a door in the water (because Claudine is not doing that shit herself but Pyro is always down for asshattery) so she can prove it would sink with two people. The door came from Shaw’s room. He does not let Pyro and Shinobi back on the boat. *** Lots of sea life following the boat for scraps or just because they find it interesting! It turns out that Claudine knows a TON about marine animals, raising yet more questions about just who she used to be. Haven and Madelyne are both really interested to hear about it. Haven because she doesn’t know much about animals, so finding out how compassionate and aware a lot of them are (such as how humpback whales will save other animals from orcas) is just amazing to her, she loves learning how that exists in the animal world. Madelyne because, daredevil adventurer that she is, she loves scuba diving and snorkeling, and Claudine can tell her what animals it is she’s looking at down there since she doesn’t know a blue blanquillo from a goldenstriped soapfish. Shinobi absolutely dumps booze in the water when some dolphins come over and thinks he’s doing the animals a favor til Pyro stops him. *** Shin, Pyro, Maddie, and Claudine using their powers (and Claudine’s white skin) to make mutant-haters think their base is haunted. *** Haven is not a psychic but she can feel Shinobi's tension when his father's voice changes even slightly and she cannot KNOW but she SUSPECTS enough to place her body subtly between theirs in the room in such a way it doesn't seem obvious she did it on purpose but now there is a very tall barrier between Sebastian and his son. *** Sebastian has to straight up hold Maddie back from PUNCHING SOMEONE at some point. Like she’s not even gonna use her powers SHE’S JUST GOING TO PHYSICALLY WRECK THEM WITH HER OWN TWO HANDS. Even Sebastian looks mildly terrified as he restrains her. *** Maddie and Claudine tagging along with Shinobi to visit Harry Leland. They love him. They also pick up that he and Sebastian were DEFINITELY fucking and probably still are, something Shinobi is clearly OBLIVIOUS to. Claudine and Maddie also immediately know what’s up with Pyro and Dom too, not that they’re hiding it at all. *** Sebastian carrying unconscious Pyro, Pyro wakes up and bites his ear, gets yeeted. *** Manon: “You have a diminished emotional capacity, did you know that Mr. Shaw? You don't feel as much as other people. You don't feel a lot that isn't just being mad at all. But you can love. I know because if you couldn't I wouldn't be able to find it. But it's in there. Who did you love, Mr. Shaw?” AND THEN THE OTHERS HAVE TO INTERVENE BEFORE SHAW BEATS THE CRAP OUT OF THIS KID *** Pyro making fire to entertain kids, kids freaking love fire, or illustrating Haven’s stories for them with it, like fire dragons and demon kings and princesses all made out of flames while she talks *** Sebastian working tirelessly on something, Haven urging him to rest, him saying he's fine, her putting hand to his forehead. He grabs her wrist, tells her to cease, that her coddling may endear you to Shinobi and Allerdyce but it does nothing to HIM except annoyance! She tells him he’s worth less if you do not work all the time, but leaves him alone after. He wakes up with a blanket on his shoulders. *** Madelyne rediscovering her healing powers as Anodyne when she heals Haven, Haven thinks it’s wonderful at first but Maddie is like no you don’t understand where it comes from. And she explains and she’s so scared she’s being used again and Haven absolutely validates her fears, she doesn’t dismiss them, but she tells Maddie THIS time she has friends on her side. Pyro secretly is glad/relieved because it means Maddie can heal him if he ever gets sick again, because now even a cold really messes with his mind, and he feels bad for thinking this so of course he doesn’t SAY it. Shinobi, of course, just says hey can you fix my hangover? And Maddie is like there’s no fixing you kiddo. *** Shinobi crying to Pyro about how he thinks Mindmeld is fucking his dad. Pyro is appalled, not because he thinks Mindmeld owes Shinobi anything, but because EW WHO WOULD DO THAT WILLINGLY WHAT IS HE PAYING HER?! *** There’s no overarching plot, as obvious, just lots of interactions, but there’s Adventures of the Month where they run into other characters and factions I like---the Hellions, the London Branch of the HFC, the Serpent Society and BAD Girls, Force of Nature, The Winter Guard, the former Brotherhood members, and the Inhumans, to name a few. *** It does come up that Haven and Lourdes used to be friends and eventually Sebastian just says he knows Haven is wondering why he hasn’t resurrected her. Haven confirms she was, but also says it’s his business. Shaw says she’s right. *** Claudine brings up how odd it is Haven is so perceptive about everything BUT being flirted with. Because of course Claudine notices that, Claudine is the one who notices how much Haven notices. Sebastian flatly says “obviously she doesn’t like sex” and the silence in the room is so goddamn awkward that Claudine completely drops it but actually HE’S RIGHT Haven is someone whose culture and past and the consequences she suffered for having sex JUST ONCE means yeah she’s pretty uncomfy with the idea of it directed at her so she just self-censors her own perceptions. She’s also just...not expecting it at all from other women, because she comes from such a heteronormative background, like she’s in no way bigoted but lesbianism is kinda ‘invisible’ to her even more so than male homosexuality, so like...yeah a woman has to get WAY past mere innuendo for Haven to “get it”. *** Pyro visiting all his old haunts in Australia and Southeast Asia and kind of sad at how much has changed. Reconnects with his grandmother, and finds out at last what really happened, based around @sammysdewysensitiveeyes‘s EXCELLENT HEADCANON FOR HIS BACKSTORY

*** Madelyne bitterly quotes Dolores Clairborne that “Sometimes being a bitch is all a woman has left” and Haven saying “maybe some women but today I saw you {heroic-ass thing here) and (awesome thing here) and (super cool badass mcgoodguy thing here)” and Pyro being like “I love you Madelyne but don’t you dare call MY FRIEND a bitch 8)”

*** Haven just...touches everyone else’s hands or faces tenderly a lot. But the one time she does it to Sebastian he’s like

#alt marauders

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solange-lol · 5 years

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abc, 123, baby you and me

SolangeloWeek Day 5 - Age Regression/Kidfic

Words: 2517

Special thanks to Val aka @jayjay-graceless and Annie aka @bookplush for those absolutely genius names within their robot child

Read on Ao3

There wasn’t ever anything for Nico di Angelo to look forward to in sex ed, especially in a public high school. He supposed they should be lucky to get any sort of education at all, but the 40 minute period every day was just another reference to their heteronormative society. If they had to learn about every single type of birth control, it would be nice to at least cover some sort of protection for same-sex couples. It’s not even like his sexuality or his relationship with Will was a secret.

Even the ‘study games’ were cruel. One game involved them putting post-its on their back with words either relating to male or female genitalia, and they had to guess what it was using ‘yes’ or ‘no’ questions. If it weren’t for Frank (bless him) choosing to savor his embarrassment and reminding him about it, Nico would have been walking around with ‘penis’ on his back for the rest of the day. (He still doesn’t think the rest of their friends forgive him for catching him before he walked out of the room).

However, there was always one unit that everyone always looked forward to near the end of the year: their parenthood unit. After years of trying (and failing) to reign the disaster of using eggs or sacks of flour as their ‘children’, the school implanted actual robotic babies into the system specifically for this unit. Their final grade of the semester was determined along a week of taking care of the robotic baby, which would track whether or not they mishandled the baby in a way that would upset an actual living, breathing child. The catch is it would be done in partnerships.

The moment their teacher announced it, Nico looked right at Will, who wiggled his eyebrows. Nico gave Will a quick nod in response. He noticed for a second that Piper and Annabeth were eyeing him warily before looking at each other in a mutual agreement about something, but he chose to ignore it. Of course he was going to choose Will for this project.

When their teacher finally called for their groups to get together, Will immediately moved to sit next to Nico. The two glanced around, seeing who else paired up. Some of them were obvious from known friendships, while others seemed to be a have-nobody-else-to-partner-with type situation. One of the most unfortunate situations was Frank Zhang, his sister’s boyfriend; Hazel was in the class under them, which left Frank to be paired with one of the Stoll brothers. Nico was lucky to be in a class with his boyfriend and a lot of his friends, otherwise, he probably would have ended up like that.

Annabeth and Piper had paired together, which was a surprise to Nico as both of their boyfriends were in the class. However, judging by the harmless death glares and teasing, Jason and Percy seemed to have turned this entire assignment into a competition against the girls. Nico just rolled his eyes at them; the overly dramatic bromance between both groups was too much for him at times.

Next to him, Will was already chattering excitedly.

“I’ve been coming up with names while she was talking,” he said, pulling a folder from his backpack. “I’m thinking something extravagant. Maybe Percival or Wulfric for a boy, and Celestia or Antoinette for a girl.” He glanced down the list again. “Oh! Wellington is also a good one! Or Febreeze-”

“We aren’t naming it,” Nico said, shutting the folder with a laugh. It was funny how everyone expected Nico to be more flamboyant as the fully gay one, but sometimes he felt like his bisexual boyfriend came right from playing Kurt Hummel in Glee.

Will pouted for a second before he continued. “My mom told me at the beginning of the year when we got the permission slip for this assignment that you would be able to stay whichever night to make it easier on us. Or I can stay at your house, whatever you want.” Nico just nodded along, a small smile forming on his face. Who knew a stupid sex ed assignment would be an excuse to spend all week with his boyfriend.

Will left to get their robot baby from the teacher, and Annabeth immediately slid into his place.

“I don’t think you should do this project with Will,” she said. Nico’s head immediately snapped up from the sheet of instructions, eyes narrowing.

“Give me one good reason.”

“Oh, I’ll give you multiple reasons. Do you know how much strain a baby will put on a marriage, much less a regular relationship? Especially when you're in high school. And have you ever spent more than a weekend with Will? It says you’re supposed to try and take care of the baby together as much as possible. You don’t know how long you can stand him for. Your patience is already going to be strained enough.”

Nico’s eyes shifted, avoiding her stormy gray ones staring him down. “None of those are good reasons,” he mumbled.

Annabeth sighed, finally letting her arms drop to the desk rather than in their crossed position. “Look, there’s a reason I’m not even doing it with Percy, and we’ve been dating for nearly two years-”

“Isn’t this supposed to be, like, the true test though?” He cut her off. “See if we could actually handle being around each other every day, or if we would be good with children?” He wouldn’t ever admit it, not even to himself yet, but Nico could honestly see himself spending the rest of his life with Will. (It was too terrifying to think about so usually he chose not to.)

“What you and Will have is good, Nico, I’m not denying that,” she pushed. “I just don’t want it to be ruined. Not when you’ve gotten this far.”

Nico sighed. He hated that she had a point. If he had an existential crisis surrounding his relationship with Will in the next week, he was blaming it entirely on her.

“I think you’d have to kill him to not do this project with me,” he said, rolling his eyes in an attempt to shake off his hesitance.

Before she could respond, Will came bounding back, and all the doubt Annabeth had planted in his mind was momentarily forgotten. Because even though it was obviously made out of plastic (and oh goodness, those eyes were terrifyingly empty) his heart melted a little bit at the sight of his boyfriend with a baby in his arms.

“Go get back to your own kid,” Nico said, shoving her out of the chair. She gave him the stink eye before returning to Piper; their baby had already started emitting a robotic cry somehow.

“Are you okay?” Will asked, and the gleeful tone in his voice before had disappeared. “Whatever she said to you seemed pretty upsetting.”

Nico smiled, and thankfully it didn’t feel fake. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m good.”

And just like that, regular old Will was back. “Great! Because I figured out the perfect name for her.” Nico raised an eyebrow at him, but he continued anyway. “Delphina Oregano Galavine,”

“Its initials are D-O-G. You named it Dog.” Nico stated.

“di Angelo-Solace,” Will added hastily.

“Nope, too late. I’m calling it Dog."

***

As it turns out, Dog (yes, Nico was seriously calling it that) wasn’t actually that difficult to take care of in school. They were given their babies that Friday morning and were required to take care of it up until Monday. All the teachers were aware of the project, so most of them went easy on their students.

He says most, as his history teacher thought it would be hilarious to give presentations that day. Thankfully, Will had taken Dog to his class, so Nico was allowed to present in peace, while others had to try and rely on their friends or anyone around them to watch their baby. Nothing like trying to present on American history while a couple teenagers tried to frantically silence any robotic crying.

It was the start of that weekend when the chaos of parenthood really started. Nico blames the whole thing on Will and his poor judgment, to be honest.

They had a plan to meet up at Will’s house on Saturday after Nico got off of work. Instead, Will showed up at Nico’s work. With the baby.

Will tried to play it off like he was just a casual shopper, browsing the aisles with a robotic baby in tow. Whatever effect it may have had on other shoppers, though, it did not have the same one on him. Nico’s cheeks were heating up as he approached his manager in the back.

“You have to kick him out,” Nico pleaded to Reyna.

“Why? He’s not doing anything wrong,” she seemed unfazed by the whole situation.

Nico gaped at her. “He’s holding a robotic child.”

“Your robotic child, might I remind you. And that’s not even the strangest thing we’ve seen here.” (That part was true; retail was wacky). “Besides, isn’t it like, kinda romantic that he came to visit you with your child?”

Nico glared at her, but she glared right back before instructing him to get back to work. He took that as an invitation to go over to Will. “What the hell are you doing here?” Nico hissed at him.

Will jumped, nearly dropping the baby in his arms. Nico was so thankful he didn’t; they were lucky it was sleeping right now. The only thing worse than this current situation was if the baby was fussy right now. (Although, that could get Will kicked out, which wouldn’t be all that bad).

“Oh, hey Nico!” he smiled. “I got bored just lying around at home, and I think she did too.” He hoisted the baby higher up in his arm so he had a better grip around her.

“But why did you bring it out in public?”

Will’s brow furrowed. “What, did you just expect to hide away at home for an entire weekend?”

“Yeah, kind of!” Nico gritted his teeth.

“Is that how you would treat a real child?”

“No, but-”

“So why would you treat this one any different?”

“Because that’s not a real child, Will!” He didn’t mean for it to come out as harsh as it did, but Will looked more angry than sad.

“Are you embarrassed to be with me?” he asked flatly, and Nico felt his heart break a little bit.

“No, I’m not embarrassed by you, Will. I could never be, even when you do something worth being embarrassed for. Nor would I be embarrassed to be with you with an actual child,” Will looked relieved at that, but Nico wasn’t finished. “I am embarrassed by that-” he pointed to the doll in Will’s arms. “-though. It freaks me out, and I think it’s freaking other people out.”

Will looked around like it was the first time he noticed that he was in a public setting with a robot baby in his arms. “Oh,” he said, glancing at a few confused shoppers as they passed. “I’ll just- I’m gonna go” he ducked his head as his cheeks heated up, and Nico felt bad for him.

“Hold on,” Nico grabbed his arm. “Just stay there for a second, I’m going to go ask Reyna for the rest of the afternoon off.”

***

If Nico remembered correctly, there was one benefit that came from being able to spend his weekend at Will’s house for this project. It was Sunday, though, and they had yet to take advantage of that benefit.

Dog was sleeping in the corner on the weird makeshift-bed of pillows Will had put together on top of his dresser. Will’s actual dog, a golden retriever named Sunny (Will had named her when he was 5), had been taken by Naomi to a vet appointment. His half-sister, Kayla, was out shopping with friends, and his half-brother, Austin, was at work. Which meant Will and Nico were home alone. With no distractions.

Currently, they were sitting across from each other on Will’s bed, studying for their upcoming math test. Nico knew he probably needed to actually work on his study guide (he hardly paid any attention in math anyway, after their teacher made the mistake of letting him and Will sit next to each other, that class was entirely them goofing off in the back) but instead he leaned over and kissed Will on the cheek. Will looked up from the problem he was working on for a second and gave Nico a quick kiss, before taking Nico’s hand with his free one and going back to work.

That wasn’t working for Nico, though, so he yanked on his hand, pulling the Will toward him. Thankfully, Will complied, dropping the textbook and paper on his lap in favor of leaning down to kiss Nico. He ended up pulling Nico down on top of him, so they were laying back on his bed.

Nico tore his lips away from Will’s and kissed along his jaw and down his neck as he pushed the flannel that Will was wearing off his shoulders. He sat up for a second, straddling Will’s hips as he tugged his shirt over his head as Will did the same with his own. He leaned back down, pressing his bare chest to Will’s as he went back to work on the skin around Will’s collarbone.

Will’s eyes rolled back, fluttering before shutting completely as he gasped and sighed before pulling Nico back up to kiss him on the lips once again.

Nico was about to reach for Will’s jeans when a robotic cry echoed throughout the room, causing both boys to groan in annoyance

“I’m gonna turn off that stupid thing,” Nico mumbled into Will’s neck.

“I wouldn’t argue with that.”

***

Nico and Will stood in front of a desk the next day, Dog laying quietly on top as their teacher clicked through her laptop

“Congrats, boys, you guys got an A-,” their teacher said before moving onto the next group. Will sighed in relief.

Immediately, he walked over to Piper and Annabeth’s table to gloat. “Suck it, Chase,” he grinned. “We were fantastic parents.”

“We still got a higher grade than you,” Annabeth pointed out. “But I have to say, I’m impressed. I don’t think I would have done that well with Percy. I guess you were right,” she sounded pained as she said it, and Nico gloated.

Walking back to his desk, Will was staring blankly at the baby.

“I think I’m gonna miss her,” he said.

Nico considered it for a second. “I think I’m going to miss having an excuse to sleep over at your house.”

“Yeah, about that. Apparently, you left a very visible mark on my neck, and Lou Ellen and I do not have the same skin tone,” Will said, then asked: “So, when do you want kids?”

Nico glared at him with no real anger behind his eyes, slapping him playfully on the arm. “Don’t get ahead of yourself, there.”

~~~

Thanks for reading! Taglist under cut (message me to be added/removed)

@internallyexplodingrainbows @aleclight-ofmylife-wood @unicornsgomooo @anxiouswinter @soulangelou @number-of-fucks-i-give-0 @underworldystuff @theeloquentsnake @solangelover@thefandomsaretakingover @internallyexplodingrainbows @hairasuntouchedaspartoftheamazon @motivatedcryptidtamer @emilyfairchild @wherethewildthingsare-nt @my-face-is-a-potato

#solangeloweek #solangeloweek2019 #solangelo #nico di angelo #will solace #liz writes.com #percy jackson #pjo #heros of olympus #trials of apollo

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eccentricexception · 4 years

Text

tw: sexual assault/society & men

I don’t mean to throw my heart out on here, but damn, not sure where else to do it. Men as a concept... are kind of terrifying to me. I know obviously “not all men” and shit, but... just that fact that women can carry so much fear because of men, it’s too much. That even though I live in a decent neighbourhood that i still cant walk outside at night. That sometimes the fear that a man could overpower me just because I’m a woman. It’s terrifying, and sickening. That stories of women being sexually assaulted in movies, in TV shows... can be for a man to have a character arc. That it is excused or is a plot device for a man. That women are treated as objects or like they are unimportant.

I’m tired of explaining to men and praising them for being pro human rights & equality, like it’s a gold star they earned. I’m tired of men who think they need to praised for their actions of human decency. I’m tired of educating men because they couldn’t do their own research outside of their bubble of why people want rights, and somehow can’t fathom that other people live different lives than they do. I’m tired of so much inequality. It’s frustrating. You date a man, and people are like “you better take care of her now” like you’re property. no one says “you take care of him!” to a woman unless it’s undercut with a “be a good housewife” sort of way. I’m tired of the expectation that men have to provide for a family. That men are in charge of the finances, the decisions, that they the “head of the family”.

I was frustrated to see my mother submit herself as no longer in control/head of the family whenever she had a new boyfriend, and I for sure the hell am tired of it now. I hate that everyone takes the father’s name. It pisses me off. I am a person who shares the last name of a man who was never even in my life. I share the last name of a man who hurt me. And why? because society says so. I’ll probably change my last name. Tired of it. Tired of the reminder.

I’m tired of men being expected to pay on a date, and if you pay they say it makes them feel less manly. I’m tired of men having the last say in decisions, or like it’s important that they decide. I’m just so. tired. of. bullshit. Society makes me feel hopeless at times. It makes me feel frustrated. Men scare me. So much idk if I could date men anymore. Now if anyone in the universe is hearing this, you’re probably like WOW okay that’s crazy, you’ll find the right guy. But you don’t understand. It’s not about the guy. It’s not about WHO, it’s about how you just cant escape these expectations in a heteronormative relationship. Even if the guy is great, sweet and amazing, those off handed comments will still exist. people will still make comments like you owe men something. And women don’t. We owe them nothing. Not our bodies, or minds.

I’ve had conversations with my friends before, while in school. We sat in the parking lot and my friend said something along the lines of “Do you ever try to hide your emotions when talking to guys sometimes? so that they take you more seriously, especially in the workplace? Since our industry is practically run by men, and that men will help their fellow man with promotions because they can relate to each other more? Even if you are the harder worker?” and we all agreed.

And honestly, as a bisexual, I don’t really know if I want to date men anymore. Not because I’m not attracted, but I’m reminded with men that there is no escape from heteronormative expectations with them. and it hurts. That it will be so hard for a cis man to actually understand, to fully grasp that anger and frustration. And I just don’t want to have to keep explaining. It’s tiring.

I’m exhausted.

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jefferoni-quotes · 5 years

Text

Love, Thomas - Hamilton Oneshot

Ship: Jeffmads

Based off Love, Simon

High School AU (obviously)

- - -

Dearest, Grey

July 18th, 2019, 00:03 am

The emails we share never fail to make me smile. I don’t know what it is, but there’s an air of mystery around our conversations. I crave something, more, a deeper connection than Wifi. But, I can settle for now. I speculate a lot, probably to much. I wonder day and night about who you are. Do you attend the very same school as me? Perhaps we happen to share a class, but I just don’t know it...

Sorry, I’m rambling.

What I’m trying to say, Grey, is I think I want to know who you are. I’m intrigued by this other gay kid in my school. Or maybe you’re not even in the same state as me. I don’t know, you never specified. You’re a lot more closed in these emails than me. Maybe I share to much, I do tend to go off in tangents. But I have lots to speak about! With endless possibilities, why stop talking?

Anyways, I eagerly await your reply,

Yours, Magenta

- - -

Magenta,

July 19th, 2019, 6:55 am

I can see where you’re coming from, but I don’t feel particularly comfortable disclosing my identity just yet. Maybe in the foreseeable future, we will be able to meet for real. Who knows?

However, I can say, that I’m in the grand state of West Virginia. Which just so happens to be the exact state that you live in. You told me that information, I promise, I’m not internet stalking you. I just have a good memory. I shall not say more than that at this point in time.

I apologise, I keep going back to the same point. haha...

How was your day? Have you “”came out”” yet?

I hate the term coming out. I don’t think I should have to come out. I should be able to go home and say to my dad, “I got a date.” And he be fine with me going off with a guy. Not that i’ll ever get a date of course.

What’s your opinion on this?

- Grey x

- - -

For Grey,

July 19th, 2019, 7:41 am

Oooooh, and x at the end! I do feel special!

I’m glad you remembered I told you, because I forgot I did. I probably would’ve told you 10,000 times before I finally noticed I’ve told you before.

Coming out? Yeah, haven’t done that. My parents are super conservative and would most likely not be overjoyed to have their son come out as a “gay”. I don’t know if I eve will “come out.” I like your point, but society is heteronormative. Everyone just assumes who we are, and it’s not fair.

You know what we should do? We should come out together! Both of us, come out to our parents. Rip the bandaid off, ya know?

Sincerely, Magenta x

- - -

My Dear, Magenta,

July 19th, 2019, 4:06 pm

Maybe... how and when do you propose we do this?

- Grey x

- - -

Dearest, Grey-Senpai,

July 19th, 2019, 5:28 pm

Tomorrow, as soon as we get home. Walk in the door, turn around, shout up the stairs, “IM GAY AND NOW IVE CAME OUT IM GOING OUT!” Then go hang with some buds or whatever.

Yours, Magenta xx

- - -

Darling, Magenta,

July 20th, 2019, 4:21 am

1, kindly never refer to me as “Grey-Senpai” ever again.

2, that’s a very... forward way of coming out... but I like it! It’s a deal!

3, today marks seven months of emails! Happy seven months haha :)

Forever, Grey x

- - -

To, Grey-pai

July 20th, 2019, 4:29 am

1, suggestion noted and changed.

2, today is an important day then... scared? Cause I sure am... I’m fucking terrified... I can feel my heart in my throat.

3, Happy seven months is a very “coupley” thing to say, don’t you think? But despite that! Happy 7 months!

4, why are you up at 4 am?

Sincerely, Magenta xx

- - -

For my dear, Magenta,

July 20th, 2019, 5:09 am

1. That’s not really any better, but I shall deal with it.

2. It really is, I’ll keep you updated.

3. I’m sorry, I apologise if I made you feel uncomfortable. I’m very sorry, just don’t be mad ha ha...

4. You were up too, little hypocritical. But if you must know, I was doing Biology homework. My teacher is very strict and she expects homework to be done in a day. I had sport practice so I had to do it at 3 am.

Are you ready? You said you had conservative parents, do you think they’ll be mad? I know my father is rather accepting, but I don’t really know...

Much love, Grey-pai x

- - -

Grey-pai,

July 20th, 2019, 12:47 pm

I’m glad you’ve decided to accept the nicknames. Don’t try to fight it, as you really won’t win.

My parents are kinda shitty, but I don’t think they’ll be mad. Most likely shocked into silence, to which I will storm upstairs, lay face down on my bed until my sister comes upstairs and says my mom wants to talk to me. They’ll be unsure, but accepting.

You play sports? What ones? I play too, but I’m intrigued by what you do. Sorry that I’m prying.

Homework at 3 am has been proven bad for the mind. And if your biology teacher is like mine, I can relate. She’s, quite frankly, and excuse my French, a bitch.

Good luck today!

Yours, Magenta x

- - -

My dearest, Magenta,

July 20th, 2019, 1:39 pm

At least your family will respect you! I’m 99.99% sure that you’ll be perfectly fine!

I’m on the athletics team, but I’m honestly terrible at it. It’s not prying. I’ve realised that I don’t share much about myself. I don’t know why I was hiding so much, I want it to feel like you know my personality. Maybe not my face. I don’t want our relationship to change drastically. Over time... I don’t know... I’m horrifyingly bad at making decisions.

What do you play? I’m curious how sporty “Magenta” is. I don’t believe I’ve ever mentioned how much I like that both our names just so happen to be our favourite colours. Well, I assume magenta is your favourite colour. I know grey is the colour I love.

I realise its a horrible idea to try and learn in the middle of the night, but I don’t have any other choice. I don’t want to ruin my perfect score by receiving a detention.

Good luck to you too, Magenta!

Love, Grey xx

- - -

Darling, Grey-pai,

July 20th, 2019, 4:34 pm

I’m currently standing outside my house, and typing this email to distract myself from the bile rising in my stomach. I don’t know why I’m terrified. I’m not so sure why. I know they’ll be fine with it. Perhaps it’s the terror of sharing such a long kept secret. I don’t really know.

Looking in through the window, they’re all watching TV. This feels too... normal. I’ve been taught by society that this should be a big thing! A huge announcement. But no. It’s too... boring. I don’t know.

I’m going inside. Wish me luck,

- Magenta xx

- - -

Magenta,

July 20th, 2019, 4:41 pm

Good luck.

I’ve told my dad. He’s cool with it! And I’m so happy!

PS: What sports do you play?

Love, Grey xx

- - -

Dearest, Grey,

July 21st, 2019, 1:34 am

I needed it. My exact prediction came true. They were silent then my ma hugged me and pops patted my back. He said he was proud. They’re accepting!

Congrats to you too!

Love, Magenta x

- - -

Lovely, Magenta,

July 21st, 2019, 1:54 am

CONGRATULATIONS! YOU GO!!

I’m so happy they’ve accepted you!

Sports??

Much love, Grey xx

- - -

Darling, Grey-pai,

July 21st, 2019, 8:33 pm

I’m so happy too!

Love, Magenta xx

- - -

My Dearest, Magenta,

July 22nd, 2019, 00:33 am

I’m so proud of you! I’m so impressed that both our families accepted us. I really wasn’t expecting it from the South to be perfectly honest.

All my love, Grey x

- - -

Magenta,

July 22nd, 2019, 00:34 am

Also, would it be weird if I said I think I know who you are?

- Grey xx

- - -

Grey,

July 22nd, 2019, 00:41 am

What?

Yours, Magenta x

- - -

Dearest, Magenta,

July 22nd, 2019, 00:47 am

You’re on the running team and the volleyball, right? You won gold in the last sports event for both. Friends with that John Adams guy?

Love, Grey x

- - -

For, Grey,

July 22nd, 2019, 00:52 am

how.

what if you’re wrong? what if you’re right? then i’d want to know who you are. but you’re not wanting me to know. that’s not fair, grey. it’s not fair.

- Magenta

- - -

Dear, Magenta,

July 22nd, 2019, 00:58 am

I’m sorry. If I’m right, we can set up a time and place to meet. If I’m wrong, I apologise.

Lots of love, Grey xx

- - -

Grey,

July 22nd, 2019, 1:01 am

When and where?

Love, Thomas x

- - -

Thomas slammed his laptop shut and pushed it down to the edge of his bed. He ran a hand through his matted, mop of curly hair and exhaled slowly. He thought about if he’d made a horrible decision, but tried to shake it off. The light from his screen peaked through the cracks. He slowly dragged it up to him, the covers crumpling as he did. He pulled the top open.

- - -

Dearest, Thomas/Magenta,

July 22nd, 2019, 1:12 am

Carnival, 9 pm. Tonight. See you there.

- Grey x

- - -

Grey,

July 22nd, 2019, 1:14 am

See you there.

Love, Magenta xx

- - -

He wiped the sleep from his eyes and turned his computer off. He placed it on his bedside table and flicked the bed sheets up to his chin. Thomas laid down, letting his hair fall over his face. He sunk into it, treating it like an ocean of emotion that he could drown in. A place where, once he reached the sea bed, he could lie in peace, without worries or feelings. And eventually, he lulled off to sleep.

Thomas woke up before his alarm and shut it off. It was a Saturday, and he still had 15 hours until he met his long term... lover? Crush? Love? What were they? Hell, he didn’t even know Grey’s name. What if he was some crazy, 50 year old stalker? Then again, he was fast and could either run away or fight.

No matter. He had 15 hours. 15 hours.

Breakfast.

14 hours.

Sitting inside.

13 hours.

Going outside.

12 hours.

Running practise.

11 hours.

Still running.

10 hours.

Lunch.

9 hours.

Panic starts.

8 hours.

Panic intensifies.

7 hours.

Panic calms.

6 hours.

Internet.

5 hours.

And a phone call with John Adams.

4 hours.

Phone call ends.

3 hours.

Argument with Alexander through Twitter.

2 hours.

Quick toast dinner. And then start changing.

1 hour.

More panic.

0 hours.

And he made it. Thomas looked down at his phone discreetly, sticking his hands in his pockets. The browned up grass pressed beneath his feet as he stepped. Someone tapped his shoulder.

“Hey, Thomas! What’s up!” John Adams grinned and leaned on his shoulder.

“Nothing. Just... waiting for someone.” Thomas smiled at his feet.

“Ooooh! Is it that Grey guy you told us about?” John nudged him with a cheeky wink, wriggling his eyebrows like caterpillars.

Thomas shoved him playfully. “Shut up. But yes, you’re right...” He sighed lovingly. “I’m scared.”

“That’s normal, dude.” John assured him, looking over. “When’s he supposed to be here?”

Thomas looked down at his phone again. “Ten minutes ago.”

“Huh.” John clicked his tongue with uncertainty, stepping forward so three girls could scatter past him. “Well, he doesn’t know where you are, for a start. Just give it a bit. He’ll turn up.”

And so they waited.

And they waited.

And then they waited some more.

In fact, it was around 10 pm when Thomas ushered into the big wheel. He hesitantly took a seat, weary of the fact that they were simple wooden benches with a metal bar to clutch onto.

He looked over at the two people that made him do this. Shortly after John had arrived, Maria had too. And she knew something. “Why are you making me do this?”

“Trust me, babe!” Maria yelled, rubbing her hands together with excitement.

“I swear to god...” Thomas mumbled. He was at his wits end, and very close to just giving up and going home.

“Ticket for one, please.” A voice called out of the silence, and the sound of change clanging against the ticket booth echoed.

A weight slid in next to him, and Thomas looked over as the bar was secured. “Grey?” Thomas questioned softly.

“Hi, Magenta.” He smiled graciously, looking straight on as the wheel started turning.

Thomas looked down, then at the boy. “James, isn’t it?”

“That’s right, Thomas.” James smiled, gingerly letting his arms hang by his sides. Thomas’ gaze fell to them, and he reached out, taking James’ hand in his own.

“So, it’s really you?”

“Yes.”

“Wow.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“No, but it’s a good thing I always thought you were cute.” Thomas confessed as the ride got higher, eventually stopping at the top, letting them see the view. The moon was rising in the dark sky, which was glowing with street laps and stars. Fireflies buzzed below them and James turned to glance at Thomas.

“I’m glad.” He said happily.

Thomas shifted in his seat to face James properly. “Hey, can I...” Thomas moved a little closer, giving James a chance to say no, or pull away.

James’ face broke out into a grin. “You may.”

He closed the gap, and let his hand cup one of Thomas’ cheeks, the other curving around his waist. Jefferson moved his hands to the same comfortable position, keeping his eyes fluttered closed.

And after ten seconds or so, they pulled back, the distant whooping of Maria, John, Peggy and Aaron rising up to meet them. It became clear that James had dragged his friends along for emotional support too.

“So, how does a movie sound, Grey?” Thomas asked with a beaming grin.

“That sounds wonderful, Magenta.”

- - -

Whoops I got carried away.

Oneshot requests are open too, drabbles are short and dumb, Oneshot take longer. Please please please, when requesting, specify if you want a drabble or oneshot! Thank you and I hope y’all enjoyed!

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postmodernmulticoloredcloak · 5 years

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About the Musca, Cas, Dean and (queer) sexuality in 14x06

There are many little callbacks to season 7 in the episode, from Harper’s deception that reminds of Jeffrey with his demon to the very slogan ‘reading is fundamental’ inside the library, and I am pretty sure that the very specific choice of black goo as the characterizing trait of the Musca is supposed to remind us of the other famous black goo monster we’ve met in the show, the Leviathan. In an episode where we are subtly reminded that the Charlie from the apocalypse world never had to deal with Leviathans, because the Castiel there never opened Purgatory and Richard Roman was never possessed by anything... she and Sam have to deal with a different black goo monster. (Slightly out of topic, but also interesting how Sam was ‘well and truly alone’ at the end of season 7 and now he praises the benefits of being among others to Charlie.)

But the Musca doesn’t really have much in common with the Leviathan, when we consider the monsters themselves. A human-fly hybrid who tends to stick inside hidden communities except for the occasional bad egg... shapeshifting cannibalistic monster divided in multiple bodies... we have to widen the scope of our perspective to see what kind of parallel hides here.

The Leviathan were (was?) a mirror for both Dean and Cas. This is not the place to digress in this direction, but the split-in-conflicting-parts, shapeshifting, self-devouring creature represented Dean’s issues with identity and mental health, and Cas was counterposed to Dick Roman in multiple ways. The Leviathan can be even seen as an allegory for their relationship - they get out of Purgatory as Dean and Cas’ relationship shatters, they get defeated by Dean and Cas working together as they reconcile.

What about the Musca?

A creature ‘hybrid between a man and a fly’ who has left his community just reminds me of Cas, who for all intents and purposes is currently a hybrid between a man and a fly angel, and has left heaven. But of course, the similarities just highlight the differences. Cas didn’t leave heaven because he couldn’t find a mate, but rather... because he has found one, but, unlike for the Muscae, that’s not what he was supposed to do.

“When a male fails to find a mate, he abandons his community and starts using people's bodies to nest” - in Cas’ case, he’s used a person’s body because that’s how angels function. Muscae are not supposed to behave like that, but are supposed to stay among themselves, mate within the community, and mind their own business. Angels instead are ordered to go on earth to perform tasks on behalf of heaven: that’s why Cas had to possess Jimmy in season 4, or the lady in 1901. Angels pick vessels because heaven sends them on earth to interfere with humans’ business.

The way Charlie and Sam speak about Muscae is reminiscent of how Dean and Sam and Bobby spoke about angels in 4x02. They appeared in books, but supposedly no one had seen an angel in a very long time... Charlie and Sam also doubt that Muscae exist because supposedly no one has ever seen them, but it becomes clear that someone must have seen them, otherwise where would the information in the book come from? We learn the same about angels - Dean might not believe they exist, but plenty of people have seen them before or interacted with angelic things in some way...

So the Musca is an anti-Cas of sorts. This Musca left a community that cared about him, even though he’d abandoned them, and lived in isolation and squalor, just “pining” (hello, little scented trees) for companionship. Cas has left a community that didn’t care about him as a person, and has chosen a loving family instead. He’s been doing his fair share of pining, of course, but in a completely different context.

His angelic ‘family’ cared about him when he acted like ‘an angel’s angel’, and shunned him when he started acting more human-like... which was his real personality all along, but he simply had not had the opportunity to explore that part of himself. This journey been coded as a coming out/transition of sorts, and Cas’ human family as the found family that welcomed Cas while his ‘biological’ family would not accept his truth regarding his identity and relationship choices.

Sort of like the Musca, he could not find companionship within his original community, but unlike the Musca he found genuine companionship outside of it. He’s been pining, it’s not been perfect and it still not is, but he has found love, not death and squalor. From the perspective of a ‘regular’ angel, though, living among ‘mud monkeys’ is not really that different from the Musca living in filth and dead people. But Cas knows better.

What about Dean? Now, keep reading if you’re not the kind of person who dismiss interpretations of a text as a ‘stretch’, when in fact text means fabric and a fabric that doesn’t stretch tears, so a good text is a text that can be stretched in multiple directions.

Also warning for mention of gross homophobic stereotypes and the Aids crisis.

The Musca’s isolation is textually linked to sexuality. He can’t find a mate, so he abandons the community. He lives in squalor and dirt, surrounded by corpses. Things have changed a bit lately, but if you go back not too many years this is the picture that a homophobe would paint of homosexuality/queerness. A man who won’t marry a woman (non-monogamous bisexual men or men who can be in relationships with women but not in a heteronormative, ‘proper’ manner also count) and becomes isolated from his community as a result (of course, for homophobes the only ‘real’ community is their own heteronormative society, as they don’t believe queer bonds are real or positive) and chooses a lifestyle of loneliness, filth and death, which is something I’m having a hard time even typing but homophobia’ll be like that.

In support of this kind of interpretation we have the other subplot of the episode. In the Harper-Vince-Jack storyline, there is a theme of ability/inability to create a family. That’s the card Jack tries to play in order to change Harper’s mind about having Vince kill him - that she’ll never be able to have a family with Vince: “what would it be like to be with someone alive? Who could walk you down the aisle in front of the whole town? And start a family with?”.

Interestingly, he also talks of a love that can be lived openly and publicly, which has all sorts of subtextual implications. Homophobic ideas of same-sex relationships are exactly those - you cannot have a normal marriage in front of the whole town, you cannot start an actual family. ‘But you won’t be able to get married and have children’ is a typical homophobic response to someone coming out - especially from parents who want their kid to give them grandchildren. Of course those are bullshit because hiddenness isn’t inherent to queer relationships/identities, but is due to the threat of homophobic violence (physical, emotional, economical...) and plenty of same-sex couples would get married and have/adopt children if there weren’t laws that forbade them to.

A lot of parents also act grief-stricken when their child comes out to them because they’re genuinely convinced that being queer automatically means a life of suffering and loneliness (and don’t get me wrong, in many places and situations being queer not a walk in the park, but it’s not an automatic sentence to pain and desolation).

Basically, the life of the Musca after leaving his community is pretty much what homophobes think of life and relationship as a queer person (especially a queer man or a queer amab person). A “bad egg” (a bad egg is an egg that has no use for either reproduction or nourishment) that leaves his community to pursue a lonely lifestyle inextricably linked to death.

But what about Dean? Let’s jump back to season 1.

This post is already pretty long so I’m not going to delve into detail here, so let’s just get to the point: the show establishes in the first couple of seasons that Sam feels like a freak because of his own direct connection to the supernatural. He doesn’t feel like he fits among ‘normal people’ because of his personal and family history. Dean, on the other hand, feels like a freak who cannot fit among ‘normal people’ because... he embraces the lifestyle his father has put them on, because he can’t stand the idea of losing his father’s approval because without his father approval he’d be alone, because people always leave him, because... you know the drill.

Unlike Sam who tries to fit with the normal people, Dean rejects entirely the idea. He knows he’s not normal and won’t ever belong in a suburb. He seems to embrace the hunting lifestyle, no connections, just fun hookups with no strings attached... Obviously we find out pretty soon that Dean craves for connections, that he clings to the concept of being a ‘good son’ because he fears that everyone leaves him, so he tries his best not to be abandoned by his father. He is haunted by the idea of being abandoned by everyone until he remains alone. And he clings to family because he’s convinced that he cannot really have anyone else other than blood family, because who would want him?

And over the course of the show, he finds people. He loses many, but he keeps collecting new family members - not tied to him by blood, but found family. He learns that family doesn’t end in blood, and then he also learns that it doesn’t start there either. He redefines family. If people didn’t keep dying, he would have pretty much a commune by now.

He’s not arrived to the culmination of this journey yet (I’m assuming there’s a culmination of a journey because this is storytelling and it’s not random and intricate as real life is) but he is nowhere near that young man who clings to sticking to the ideal conduct his father expects from him because he thinks that if he loses his blood family he’s lost it all, who is terrified of loneliness and deep down suffers how he’ll never be able to settle down with a respectable wife in a nice little house.

He used to think that he couldn’t have love because love was for people who could get married and have children and a dog and a white picket fence. Now he acknowledges that love comes in all shapes and forms and can be ‘crazier’ than something already pretty weird. He has realized that family can be found outside of blood relations, and that blood relations alone don’t make family; and he has realized that love exists in many forms, including weird, crazy forms. He can have family and he can have love even if he doesn’t fit into certain schemes.

I’m not sure I’ve made justice to the topic with this post but I guess it’s long enough for now, I’ll end it here :)

#my spn thoughts #spn meta #spn 14x06 #dean and queerness #cas and identity #cas and the angels #spn

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docholligay · 6 years

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Silverleaf 12: Addressee Unknown

Our next chapter in the Silverleaf series! Thank you so much to Benjamin for sponsoring this, and if you enjoy, please be sure to let him (and me!) know! The full series is here. And thank you to everyone who helped with the ending!

What the human mind whirls out into an occasion varies across people and families and countries, and makes little sense to those who live outside of those imaginary lines that define so much of our lives.

For anyone outside of Silverleaf’s bubble, all the fuss over what amounted to a high school dance would have seemed silly, but it was more than that. The formal ball had been a part of the Silverleaf School for Girls since its inception, preparing the girls for an imagined life in high society. Some of the traditions were not even particularly relevant any longer, but that hardly mattered. If one does something long enough, it seems right to do it, and wrong not to, and this is the way traditions are born throughout the world, however different they might be.

And Rei Hino hated society, and Rei Hino cared not for any tradition she thought interfered with the progress of women, and Rei Hino loved the ball and nurtured it in her own way, and all of these things could live together without the slightest confusion or alarm from Rei herself.

Rei looked down at the plans already assembled for the ball with a critical eye. She looked at nearly everything with a critical eye, and this was why she had been a talented journalist, and why Silverleaf had sought her out specifically to teach, but it did make her somewhat of a bear to work with in the party planning department.

“Why did we pick these centerpieces?” Rei scowled at the piece of paper that held the order. “I hope there’s time to change that, this won’t work for what we’re doing at all.”

It, like most things having to do with Rei, served as somewhat of a distraction. Rei had not had much of a social life since her grandfather had died--she would never admit that he had been most of her social life in the first place, mind, it was simply that the event had rocked her--and filling her hours as the sponsor of clubs, and planning the grand ball, and redoing the bulletin board in her classroom, all seemed like helpful and productive ways to fill her time.

Mina appeared at her side, as if by magic, as she always did.

“I didn’t know the centerpieces rich teenagers ignored all night meant so much to you.”

Mina was a constant needle to Rei, and she never understood it. Mina could be the kind of person who picked on anyone, that was true, but she seemed to particularly enjoy going after Rei. She tried not to rise to it.

She failed.

“It’s about the INSTITUTION we REPRESENT,” she said, wishing almost at once that she hadn’t reacted that way, the smile playing over Mina’s face more annoying than anything else, “and how it’s succeeded as, well, and educational center for girls, over the years,” her mind turned, thinking of how what she really meant was that it had been established for educating rich girls, but that wasn’t going to do anything to make Mina stop, “anyway, why do you care what I do?”

She crossed her arms, scowling, looking at Mina, who leaned lazily against a table.

“Nothing but intellectual curiosity,” she pointed at Rei and winked, “A long-held Silverleaf value.”

Mina looked at her with, yes, perhaps curiosity was the word, that gleaming strange smile she sometimes did. Mina was infuriating, Mina was confusing, Mina was so many things that Rei could not quite articulate, and much as she barely understood why the ball was so important to her, she barely understood why she could not break her eyes from Mina’s.

“Are you chaperoning again?” Rei was annoyed she had asked the second it came out of her mouth, and she put her hands on her hips, trying to suggest that she wished the answer would be no.

But Mina did not slip the dagger in, though she must have seen the space, simply stood across from Rei and looked her full in the face.

“Course I am. What else am I supposed to do, let you yell at all the girls all night?” She chuckled.

Rei did not reply, unsure of what to say for perhaps the first time in her life, or at least her recent memory.

“Don’t have a date though.” It hung in the air with a strange and wild vulnerability, and Mina almost shrank back from her own words, quickly throwing another sentence up next to it, trying to cover the bareness and boldness of her statement. “Too much time getting Haruka one, she needs it more than me.”

“Michiru has one for me.” It wasn’t true, at least not yet, but Rei knew Michiru could arrange it, and could not stop herself from saying it.

“All you lesbians outsource your matchmaking?” She gave a chuckle, and Mina was back to herself again, all joking and taunting, and Rei rose to the familiar comfort of it, wanting to breeze past that raw and terrifying vulnerability.

She scowled.

“You don’t know anything about me or how I identify, and it’s...it’s just wrong to gues at someone’s--”

Mina waved her hand. “Please, I majored in disaster lesbians.”

“I am not a disaster!”

“Of course not,” she shrugged, laughing, “you have your centerpieces and a date, and I mean, look at me. I don’t even have a dress.”

“Well,” Rei looked down angrily at her centerpiece, “don’t wear that short thing you wore last year, this is a formal event.”

“Oh, you noticed,” Mina waggled her eyebrows suggestively, but did not wait for a response, simply whirled around back toward the door she’d come though and called over her shoulder, “see you there with your great date!”

Rei’s eyes followed her out the door without meaning to, a niggling feeling that Mina’s talk about not having a date was less of a statement and more of a question.

Mina was a constant needle to Rei, in ways she did not understand, and what she understood least of all was the way she wished she had told Mina that her dance card was empty, too.

She furrowed her brow and looked back to her centerpieces, caught up in the wind of expectation once more.

___

Panic abounded.

The letter could be anywhere, and how could she have been so careless? Hotaru had lived her entire life on the razor’s edge of her own survival, and knew so well how important it was to keep all necessary items close and at hand, and the one time when she thought the undesired skills she had learned would come in handy, they failed her. She had lost something she suddenly considered more precious than any medication.

Hotaru had never been bullied, in the proper sense. Parents were more or less unlikely to allow their kid to pick on the terminally ill girl. But she wasn’t terminally ill anymore, as she reminded herself every morning in the mirror, still shocked by the truth of it, and she did not imagine there would be a lot of grace given to the strange new girl who had written a love letter to one of the most popular girls in school.

She thought of where she had been, combing over the halls and trying not to look crazed at the girls who passed her in the hallway, trying not to give any sign that anything was amiss.

What made you think about writing that letter anyway, Hotaru? Why would you ever write something like that down? Where someone else could find it?

But she knew why, if she could admit it to herself. Because she could not bring herself to say the words to her face, to confess the way she felt to Chibiusa.

The shame felt hot on her cheeks as she rushed to Ms. Tenoh’s office. She had been kind, hadn’t she? And if a teacher found the letter, they would have just kept it, wouldn’t they? Maybe she wouldn’t mind asking in the teacher’s lounge.

It was silly to think that Ms. Tenoh would have any of these allegiances to her, but she thought that anyway. Ms. Tenoh was like her, strange in this school, her edges unsanded.

Her mind turned as she dashed through the halls, still looking, still searching, to last night. To the glint in Chibiusa’s eye that Hotaru could almost mistake for fondness, but why would Chibiusa have been fond of her? They only had a handful of classes together, and Hotaru was studious and quiet, unsure of how to live a life in the open after having been shut up in four white walls for so long.

Ms. Tenoh’s door was still open, the way it often was, but she was in her gym clothes now, stretching, and Hotaru looked up at the clock and noticed how close and looming the beginning of the day had become, how crowded the halls had been with girls in their starched skirts, the fruits and flowers of their perfumes pressing hard against each other.

“I--” the words stuck in her throat, “Ms. Tenoh, I dropped,” Hotaru wanted to throw up or cry or both, or better, to be someone else entirely, to be a bird flying away into the sun, the way she’d imagined when she was a child sitting in her hospital bed, “I dropped something important.”

“I didn’t see any--”

“I know,” Hotaru interrupted, afraid she would lose her nerve, “but maybe you could ask the teachers? It was,” she felt herself at the edge of tears, “it was a letter.”

Ms. Tenoh sat down across from her, leveling the height between them and looking at her with a gentleness that nearly infuriated Hotaru, bringing to mind immediately the way adults used to look at her when they thought she was doomed. When they had thought she was going to die.

“What’s going on?”

She said it without any prejudgement on what it might be, and her voice was kind, and for a moment Hotaru wanted to ask her if she knew what it was like to love a girl and not be able to say--and Hotaru was almost certain she did, for any girl who hadn’t assumed Ms. Tenoh was a lesbian would have been laughed out of school, whatever Ms. Hino had said about not making heteronormative gender policing assumptions--but the shame that came so hard as a teenager stopped her.

“Nothing.” she shook her head firmly. “Just, would you mind asking?”

Ms. Tenoh gave up, seeming to notice that Hotaru was immoveable on this particular topic.

“Sure,’ she nodded, standing up again and towering over Hotaru, “you better get to class.”

Hotaru nodded in return, not wanting to say anything more, and slipped quietly as a shadow out of Ms. Tenoh’s office, the chattering of the girls getting changed in the locker room behind her like a chorus of wild parrots.

Hotaru walked down the hall as quickly as she could, eyes averted from the other girls filing into their classrooms, when the delicate pop of Chibiusa’s voice caught her attention.

“Hotaru!” She waved and smiled brightly, heading down the hallway, already a little late for her class on the other end of the school.

Hotaru’s mood brightened for a moment, and she gave a soft smile and an awkward wave.

And then her eyes went to the girl next to her, and moved down. There, sticking out of a neat leather bag, was the edge of an envelope that Hotaru recognized immediately as her stationary. Her eyes darted back up to the girl carrying it, fluttering like a captured bird.

Ceres smiled at her in a dark and low way, and waved.

“Bye, Hotaru.”

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celestialily · 6 years

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What do all your TGS ships say about you?

Henry/Robert: Has reread Bleeding Heart multiple times. You’re an absolute sucker for the “tragic college romance” trope. Becomes a snarky love/hate OT3 with the inclusion of Edward and his hilariously in-denial insults. Uses “Hastie” as a cute nickname. Day drinking with expensive red wine is a quality aesthetic. Big fan of dramatic theatre bisexuals. You’re always down to brutally criticize oppressive Victorian heteronormativity. Still worried about Robert’s wife and Henry’s inevitable reveal. Prepare for suffering.

Henry/Edward: Takes the meaning of self-depreciation to a whole new level. Utilizes audio/visual hallucinations in really bizarre ways. Gets a kick out of the Lodgers being perpetually confused by the situation. Doesn’t know a damn thing about chemistry but tries to make sense of it anyway. Lives for the pettiness, drama, and self-sabotage thrown back and forth between them. You try to sing both parts of “Confrontation” every time. Usually has an OT3 if anybody else is involved.

Henry/Jasper: An early shipper who loves scientific technobabble and freaking out over cute dogs/cryptids/anything. Covering Henry in sparkles is a time-honoured tradition. “Seduce me with rogue science~” is a constant mood. Perpetually on the hunt for Mothman’s ass. Wants more Zozi dammit.

Henry/Morcant: A classic. Earliest proponent of Jekyll being a furry. Fond of terrifying fairy tales and embracing one’s beastly side. Also on the hunt for Mothman’s ass. Loves the intense noir look of Bleeding Heart. Dying to see Morcant rip someone to shreds in full comic colour glory. Jasper’s gained a cool new wolf aunt to show him the ropes. Personally, you want to abandon all society and roam the forest as a bog witch, but here you are instead. I’m not judging.

Edward/Rachel: You love the take-no-shit snarky bi solidarity. Big fan of the “how do I tell my boss I’m in love with his outlaw assistant when they both keep disappearing on me” plot. They’re voted “Most likely couple to end up covered head to toe in blood and just laugh it off”. You endlessly pour over old concept art on Deviantart for more cute and hilarious moments between them.

Henry/Rachel: You’re either an Edward/Rachel/Henry OT3 shipper, or a hardcore Paraphernalia fan who decided to stay despite the drastic shift in plot, tone, and Rachel’s reworked backstory. Still thinks the aviator goggles are a good look for Henry. Looooves Ghibli flight sequences more than life itself. Really into clockpunk and music boxes.

Rachel/Jasper: Every awkward interaction is a BIG MOOD for you. Adores the country mouse/city mouse dichotomy. Everyone in the comic is a terrible wingman but it still works. Probably falling down a Wiki rabbit hole researching old Victorian food recipes, West Country accents, and Rromani settlements in East London. Human embodiment of the classic ✿＼(｡-_-｡) “Kick his ass, baby. I got yo flower.” meme

Edward/Lucy: Either has no idea what the 90’s musical is and is thrilled with Hyde’s cute hero-worship of a badass criminal leader, or is absolutely starving for a version of the musical that treats her better than she got. You can’t wait for Edward to actually meet her in canon and make a complete fool of himself. She could kick you in the face and you’d probably thank her. Lives and breathes for the flair and unnecessary parkour of Assassin’s Creed: Syndicate. Busy researching weird and complicated schemes the real Forty Elephants actually pulled off.

Henry/Frankenstein: … you might have wandered in from the Penny Dreadful fandom expecting something different (oops). Either that or you’ve been on board since 2010 and the unexpected gender switch was a really weird curveball. Still wondering what happened to Walton in all this mess.

Henry/Utterson: You’re still salty Gabriel’s not included and have made a whole backstory dedicated specifically to getting him into the plot. Expect hilarious legal shenanigans, terrible hide-and-seek skills, more Lanyon drama, and a drastic increase in bad puns. Likely has spent the most hours rereading the novella out of anyone. How do you write a gaslamp crime thriller with no murder yet? You find a way.

Edward/That Couple: Who are they? What are their stories? What kind of rowdy bar fights and crazy threesomes do they get up to? Who knows. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Make your own conclusions. Everybody’s bi and probably gonna die early from some disease anyway. Drink absinthe. Fuck the peelers. Party like it’s Soho in 1885.

Edward/Creature: You’ve got a big green monster and a little green monster, what more could you ask for? Old Universal monster movies are your jam. Probably fed up with humanity in general, but what’s new? Creature’s #done face gives you life.

Archer/Griffin: You love the fantastic potential of the Lodgers’ inventions and finding new hilarious ways for them to backfire. Has likely read “The Invisible Man”, but disregards it entirely except for the swearing. Probably prefers the LXG movie over the comic book. Fond of belligerent sexual tension, getting into ridiculous arguments, and dramatic drunken confessions. Archer is a disaster and everybody in the Society knows it.

Lavender/Flowers: Ahhhh, you love the smell of hopeless Victorian lesbians in the morning. Smells like bouquets of violets, lilies, and lavender, and also slightly smoking malfunctioning insects. You live and breathe for campy steampunk. The Lodgers are an infinite source of drama for this pairing, but also filled with ride-or-die geniuses willing to lend a hand in the case of pining lovesick idiots like them.

Frankenstein/Elizabeth: Immensely surprised by canon science wives but definitely pleased. Secretly wishes Elizabeth was still alive against all odds. Probably has read Carmilla or other gothic lesbian tragedies.

#tgs #the glass scientists #spec #j&h

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